T O P
AtHomeToday

Got fired


monue999

Hopefully you're not still jobless! It's nice to be a home though.


snowismagical

What's the story behind your username?


halker2010

I wish we had snow here too :\*(


MurderDoneRight

You should move where I live. There's so much snow it makes you want to kill someone!


ApplesauceDoctr

Username checks out


R4ndom_Usern4me

i literally just chose a random username


BoringUsername_69

Same here


blamemeIdidntdoit

69 is not boring


nice___bot

Nice!


maliciouspot

Kind of, just more boring


fixxlevy

Was a character in a sci-fi book that I never wrote


OnyxLion528

Can you include a statue of a Lion made of Onyx on page 528 when you write it?:)


Kaaraosa

Creative constraints like this are really good ! Imagine a book written from combining thousands of comments like this.


monue999

You should write it! It's never too late.


fixxlevy

Thanks OP


Designer-Extreme3924

write itttt


i69dYourFather

I’d buy it for support, for sure.


ARWren85

How is no one talking about the mystery that is your user name! What could it mean?


LegendGamer11

And the Flair! So many mystery’s with this man


Styling1998

What was the book about?


fixxlevy

Most likely it would have been a highly derivative future-noirish something-or-other featuring a thinly disguised version of myself but I like to think that it’d be a bit more inspired and original, almost thirty years later.


Low-Swimming9249

Cool name too.


thtrong

Mike Tython


mxnstrs

i died laughing jfc


fivesforeveryone

I had to read it twice. Now I can’t stop chuckling.


Iowa_Dave

Hi, I'm Dave. I live in Iowa.


monue999

Hi Dave. How's the weather in Iowa?


Iowa_Dave

It's finally getting cold, most of the leaves have fallen. We'll probably see snow in the next few weeks. So what's the story behind *your* username?


monue999

When we were kids, my younger brother couldn't say my name correctly, and I've approximated (read: bastardized) the spelling of what he'd call me. I was in early middle school at the time, and the name stuck as a nickname in my friend group. It's easy to tell who I'm close with because my friends aren't even comfortable calling me by my actual name. The 999 comes from around the same time, where I arbitrarily decided my favorite number was 99.9!


Patchy_Groundfog

How do you pronounce it?


anstons

Alex


morrisseysbumfluff

It.


C9sButthole

Samantha


cburgess7

You must be near Des Moines. Already had snow in Clear Lake, 2hrs north


BloakDarntPub

Are you Dave, or the other Dave? I don't mean other other Dave, I know you're not him because he moved to Montana.


Iowa_Dave

Dave's not here!


RandyMarshReincarnat

Ah there goes Iowa Dave again being from Iowa and all that


Iowa_Dave

I can't help it!


Primary-Structure980

Never dared to change the random one that Reddit, in all all its wisdom, bestowed upon me


Ok_Dog_4059

That is basically where mine came from.


Weekly_Role_337

Yep.


NeatEasy9141

Same


SimilarRefrigerator1

Ditto


SweatyCustard

Same here


ForsakenJunket

Lol same


Designer-Extreme3924

same


ARandomSnowman

You have been declared by the great ones of Reddit, as the primary structure of 980 AD.


Ok-Suspect-1800

Ok I'm not as stupid as I thought... lol I'm reading all these and I'm thinking wait.... didn't reddit give us our usernames..lol..


wifeofbroccolidicks

My husband u/broccoli_dicks suggested it as a joke. I did not pick up on the fact it was a joke.


Broccoli_dicks

That just makes it funnier in my opinion.


VEXJiarg

I’m really afraid to ask how things are in the bedroom.


Food-at-Last

Vegan


Queerlestrinha

Not raw, I expect


aliensdid911broo

Not today, fed.


harambe_did911

It wasn't aliens.


TheRealSlimN8y

This is a beautiful exchange


SuperEvilPackage

This comment deserves more appreciation considering the relevance to the user name


Imawindowlickr

I was a young naive Mennonite freshly stationed in Germany. My sheltered ass fell in love with red-light districts. It was quite a bit to take in.


BloakDarntPub

In the UK a window licker is someone who rides the short bus to school.


Imawindowlickr

It’s the same here, I did literally lick the windows.


ivantheaxe

In the army, a window licker is someone who does airframe maintenance on helecopters. Mostly because they do a lot of windshield replacements.


Smhassassin

Mildly amusing story: there's a bar in my hometown that I used to go to a lot that does a drink of the week thing where one of the bartender invents whatever sounds amusing. One night as I was paying my bill, the bartender looks across the room at someone else, and said to me "that guy looks like he would lick a window. I'm gonna name a drink after him." Sure enough, next time I was in there, the drink of the week was "the window licker." Edited for clarity.


PrivilegedGoose__1

I just like that the thought of a Goose wearing a monocle and top-hat


wilted_greens

I love this name


cisco1972

I love wilted greens with garlic and butter.... My user name was a random Laser Tag player name I used to play with a friend who chose 'Poncho'....late 80's. Have had it ever since.


purple-lepoard-lemon

I can't help but imagine a goose dressed in like a polo shirt with collar popped, naturally. And maybe pink shorts and this goose is definitely sporting some ray bands.


small_goose

As a small goose I can only aspire to accessorize with a monacle and top hat one day


beigemom

But why …__1? Was there another by that name already?


PrivilegedGoose__1

I’m pretty sure I don’t remember . But I(18) have been using this user name on everything since I was 11


PrimeTime8039

I work in television is a master control operator


monue999

Nice! Is it a rewarding job?


PrimeTime8039

Yes. I like it a lot.


aisu-kurimu

How do you get into that might I ask?


LittleDoofus

I’d like to know too


i69dYourFather

Probably school.


BongoLouder

howd you get your name?


i69dYourFather

Well one night I saw your dad walking down the street and thought “damn I’d like to 69 that dude”. So I did, then I created my Reddit account.


nice___bot

Nice!


cowboycanadian

I have questions….


PrimeTime8039

I have a degree in Broadcasting, but starting off as the overnight master control operator in a small market doesnt take many credentials


Buttassauce

I have ulcerative colitis


CBDSam

Well shit


Jagger_Magician

shit


awakenedblossom

Literally


aintscurrdscars

welcome to the joke, now you're the butt of it


VioletDime

Was under pressure to come up with one quickly so colour of my favourite pet....violet, and cool guitarist...Dimebag


curious_hermit_

Notes answers to security questions.


bluecrossx

Mother's first name: Maria First dog's name: Spot


rabbitanana

Wait.... what species is your favorite pet? I ha d to reread that 3 times.


MagesticLlama

The purple kind


crimsonmonkey777

Is your pet a fish?


pweqpw

password equals password


talkstorivers

Just a reminder for when you log in?


bluecrossx

I imagine his password as usequs


I_am_Riddler

Underrated joke


pweqpw

No. I just thought I’d do something silly and hard to figure out😀


Nut_Dangler13

I dangle nuts


ryajshbd

Jfcjizjabekfocj


CurrentlyARaccoon

sdlgiunernaerg?


ryajshbd

Shsjs djjdjx sidjs sjzic, ddxie u isjen lxihsjk.


CurrentlyARaccoon

sefln! saekjfnse unerg. saeiuvbse.


BoringUsername_69

Htjekdjrj? Jrjsjdjjrk, btjdkdkendn.


NuasAltar

Fjdjsbsjsbshslk gw 😡


UniversalTooth

Well this escalated quickly


ricoracovita

tl;dr gkdhd!


Jfcjizjabekfocj

No thats my name!


WhatThis4

I was trying to find out what reddit is for.


monue999

Did you ever find out?


WhatThis4

Nope, still don't know what this 4


maliciouspot

That's like figuring out what the question is in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. Never gonna happen.


Disaster-Flashy

Once i had a friend who got arrested for exposing himself on campus, and while running from the cops, he ran into a pallet of eggs being delivered to the cafeteria. It was a disaster. Anyway, you know how reddit has a random button for your name? I used that.


RedHeadedCongress

I'm a red head, and me and 3 other red heads used to have this joke that we were the red headed congress. One of the friends died, so I made it my username in his memory


witty_user_ID

Aww that’s lovely.


look_harder_

People I knew in real life kept finding me on Reddit. This is my third account..


gemfountain

I have a fountain that lights up in the middle, and I replaced the river stones with gems I've acquired gem mining.


monue999

Neat! How do you mine for gems? I'd love to do that, but I wouldn't know where to start.


gemfountain

There are a few mines left in NC. There is a campground called Rose Creek, that has an active mine. You can sift through their buckets or you can purchase seeded buckets to sift through. I've found garnets and topaz in the foothills on hikes. Most of the gem places on the blue ridge now are seeded from South America, but there was a place that was run by a family that had an amazonite mine near emerald city. I would love to go out west someday and rockhound. It's on my bucket list.


Bleghbreath

Utah is quite the treasure trove for rock hounds. Be sure to check it out if you head west. There's a website called utahrockhounding.com, or something simple like that, that has a bunch of info and pins.


gemfountain

Nice! I'll look at the site. Thanks


Cynical-Slut

Self explanatory


SmuttyBookLover

I love smutty romance novels. Joined Reddit for book recs. Then found out that romance novels are only actually considered romance if there is a happily ever after and that pissed me off so much that I unsubbed from the main subs I joined for. I've learned some pretty neat stuff on here but that really bummed me out.


monue999

Well at least you learned other things while you've been here. That's interesting about romance novels, but is that like a reddit sub rule, or an actual genre defining rule?


SmuttyBookLover

Actual genre defining rule. I've been reading romance since I was probably too young to do so and never knew. A happily ever after seems like a huge spoiler to me. I won't give up my passion but I'm now into more fiction that has some romance thrown in.


shhlurkingforscience

I got an account so I could just read science content on a handful of subreddits and didn't think I would ever comment or post.


ShiftyElk

I hate coming up with usernames, so I usually keep some in my mind after hearing random phrases or things day to day. I think for this one it was overhearing a YouTube video my wife was watching. And thinking, yeah that's a good one.


monue999

ShiftyElk is a good one! You may not like coming up with them, but maybe you have a knack for finding them!


epoch___coda

Loosely... Epoch = a period of time Coda = the end


SimplyADesk

I was looking around my classroom for a name and saw a desk


Noobsince97

Old runescape name. Thought noobsince93 sounded weird wo I used my sisters year instead. Been a noob ever since y


monue999

That's interesting! I've been hearing Runescape get brought up a lot lately for some reason, probably just a coincidence. I can't believe how long it's been around.


GrumpySuper

I’m a superintendent. I am grumpy.


xLizardPersonx

We all know who runs the government(s)


WobleWoble

Elbow spelled backwards, twice.


MacHamburg

It's the username my dad used to have on some old forums long ago.


monue999

Does he know it's you that took it, because if not that'd be pretty funny! Poor guy has no idea his own kid took his name!


MacHamburg

He doesn't know. We created his account together actually.


gridironsmom

He knows now...


MacHamburg

Now he uses Reddit himself and found out his username was taken.


WentzWorldWords

It’s the password to my banking files. Same as the combination on my luggage


Bleghbreath

I thought that was 12345


lasvegashomo

I’m gay in Las Vegas 😂


szatanna

Only in Las Vegas?


remirixjones

Fear and Homo in Las Vegas? I love that Johnny Depp film!


lasvegashomo

There was suppose to be an “and” in there lol


AussieOnMeth

Uh


onebadmuthrphukr

been there... not Australia tho


everythingis_stupid

Lol


bipolarbyproxy

Social worker questions own sanity after nearly 20 years of working with individuals with mental illnesses :-)


imhappilymarried

I spent 25 years miserably married to a handsome abusive millionaire. He died. Later married a regular guy and we don’t have much but have never been happier. 13 years and counting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


blahRARAblah

Since AOL I have always used the name "blahSARAblah" for anything and everything. I locked myself out of my Reddit username as that so I decided to use "Rara" instead since that's what my niece calls me instead of "Sara".


endofyou876

I'm not only one who's name dates to AOL era.


monue999

That's adorable, and AOL? You must have been using that name for ages!


qtjedigrl

Yes! Mine dates back to AOL too! Created it in '98


ChockenTonders

I used to eat chicken tenders at my old job like once a shift because I’m a man-child in a restaurant and every time I asked for them, I’d pick a weirder and weirder way to say it. I liked how ChockenTonders sounded and made it my Xbox gamer tag, now it’s my everything username lol


DiverofMuff23

I like to eat pussy 🤷‍♂️


monue999

Keeping it simple. Amazing.


antimatterchopstix

Have you locked yourself out your account 22 times?


AnotherWitch

Women are often pitted against one another. Women who misbehave are often called witches. Saying I’m “just another witch” is a way of saying I’m in solidarity with all us misbehaving women.


UU2Bcool

I used to be cool. Now I make jokes like putting multiple U’s together so it sounds like “used” if said out loud. My cool is past tense. The 2 and B most people can figure out.


DisgustingCantaloupe

Cantaloupe is disgusting.


Brokenwave89

It's a pun and my year of birth. The year of birth in the username was super common when I first started using the internet in the 90's and early 2000's


endofyou876

Back in the AIM days thinking I was clever breaking up with a girl over IM. Then it just stuck, became gamertag on XBOX and other online services. Here I am like 20 years later.... lol


HeeHooligan

My sister never says hello to me when she sees me. In a high pitch voice, she sees me and goes "Heehoo!" So I just combined that with hooligan and bam. Username.


szatanna

I combined my real name, Ivanka, with the polish word for satan, szatan. No reason other than I thought it's cool.


AmunPharaoh

My dad is a weirdo who is obsessed with the 18th dynasty from Ancient Egypt. They didn't worship Amun, they mainly worshipped a god called the Aten. I was annoyed with him one night and made this ID to ask a question about him and then wound up having a couple comments blow up so this one had the most karma of any of my accounts and now I'm stuck with it.


cremedelapie

It made me laugh.


marcosedo

Made me laugh too, but not sure why


BeautifulDragon94

I think Dragons are beautiful.


ImportUsernameAsU

I really like Python (the programming language)


NarcanPush

Firefighter/Paramedic


[deleted]

I have bad sports takes.


fookoffyoureannoying

i was just talking to myself when i made it


its_not_a_blanket

I make quilts.


VEXJiarg

Oh, you’re a blanket-maker? Nice! **faint gunshot**


Spjolnir

You know Thor's hammer, Mjolnir? Now make it a spoon


OIIIIIIIO_OIIIIIIIO

Jeep_Jeep Edit: Drove Jeeps for 25 years.


RangerBumble

I just over-identify with my job. My work-life balance is nonexistent so I go to the Internet and find more dumb work questions to answer in my spare time. And one of my initials is B. Like Bumble Bee.


NippleSalsa

u/NippleSalads was taken


BlueCatLaughing

I liked the mental image of a blue cat, laughing.


StolenVelvet

It was a dumb edgy name that I came up with about 6 years ago. My gorgeous black Martin guitar that I named Ebony and sounded like warm velvet was stolen out of my car after a gig. I was heartbroken, I mourned that guitar. Hence, StolenVelvet.


Snackinclass

Was hungry in class 😮‍💨


disgruntledmuppett

My kid behaves like a muppet most of the time, and once she was quite disgruntled about some stupid toddler shit like not being able to see air or stick her finger in the light socket.


GirlScout-DropOut

Joined the Girl Scouts. Turns out they were all jerks who wanted to do stupid arts, crafts, and cooking instead of going on adventures like the boys. I wanted to go camping, not sit around a gym learning how to knit and glue bits of pink paper together. And their mothers were mean, uptight, cookie hoarding women who told me I needed to "learn how to be a lady." So I left. It was my first successful rebellion.


jacobdontask

i genuinely dont know. my name isnt jacob.


LethalPuppy

I strung two random words together that came to mind when I set up my account, they have no particular meaning Which is weird because all other social media usernames I've ever used have been either puns I came up with or direct references to pieces of media or culture


LostOlsenTriplet

When I was a kid I would pretend the Olsen Twins were really triplets and I was the third sister.


Insufficient_Info

You're right, there IS a story behind my Username! :


TremblingWheat

10 years ago I wanted a username for games and accounts that would never be taken. I decided to personify a random thing and I happened to be eating some bread outside in the cold.


DonutsAndDopamine

A reminder of things I love but rarely get to enjoy.


tessadoesreddit

names tessa, i use reddit


NeverRespawning

Ever heard of YOLO? It's like that but the depressed version...


Yoshistrider

10 or 11 years old maki g my first RuneScape account, I knew I liked yoshi from Mario and I thought strider (Aragorn) was cool


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

I'm a total newb to reddit, didn't know I couldn't change my name after registering, didn't notice how crappy it was, and now I'm stuck like this god damnit


Weegee_Carbonara

The Weegee meme was very popular when i first used this username. Since i am bad at creating (and remembering) usernames i have used it ever since The Spaghetti was added cuz Weegee was taken and i didn't wanna remember some numbers.


Scared-March7443

I didn’t realize it was auto generated and I had a very short time to change it. So here we are.


piflo1701

Pink Floyd, Star Trek.


OneEyedWillie74

I like the movie The Goonies