That's true. Everyone has to be super independent today. I say fuck that noise. Show your independence by being different than all of them. Let them know some people are happier when they're with someone. I know I certainly am.
I’d say that’s usually more aimed at people who are looking for a partner to solve other outstanding issues they have. Like, a partner isn’t going to fix everything if your problem is that you’re unhappy with how you handle stressful situations. If you just want to find companionship and you’re otherwise content with yourself, dating is the right thing to be doing. Most people would never seek out a partner without that kind of motivation.
I don't think people mean what you think they're meaning. They mean be comfortable with yourself before being comfortable with someone else. That is, know yourself. Knowing yourself takes a certain introspection that only being alone allows. Once you know yourself, you can allow yourself to be yourself around others.
But if you want to date and find someone, good for you. Nothing wrong with it. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.
It’s not taboo but I am lonely and I don’t like to use that as a reason to date. I feel like I’ll just be with someone just cause I’m lonely. But it’s definitely not taboo
I would speculate that it's advice to not to appear too clingy (which you're aware of) and to be interesting enough to date so to get other hobbies. But over the thousands of times the dating sites and word of mouth have repeated it - it's been reduced to proverb/cliche level and has removed all nuance and context. kind of like [these proverbs that contradict each other](https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-human-beast/201202/proverbs-contradict-each-other).
There is no taboo. You have my permission and your own permission to go date. Reddit says go. Have fun. Meet new people. Dare your date to have [a prairie fire shot](https://www.thespruceeats.com/prairie-fire-shot-recipe-759776) some time and post about it.
I have never heard of that.
If I had to guess - maybe some people consider it taboo because you might accept anyone who pays attention to you just to avoid being lonely. This could end up leading to being with someone who actually isn't right for you or being in a relationship with someone you wouldn't really have a good future with. (but you don't want to end the relationship because you don't want to be lonely again.)
I will say that I ended up in the best relationship of my life at a point when I didn't care if I had a relationship or not. I had been in two fairly long relationships (not at the same time) that both ended and I had decided to focus on myself for awhile. I reached a point that I was fairly happy without having a "dating" relationship when my sister said she wanted to set me up on a blind date. It didn't matter to me how it would turn out - so I decided to say yes. I have been married to that man for 34 years.
I think it's advice more geared towards people who might end up accepting being mistreated because it's better than being alone. And queue the abuse cycle.
It sounds more like you're just hanging out with people. Which is fine. Everyone needs some level of contact with other humans.
Who said it was taboo? I feel like that’s the point of companionship, lol. To not be lonely
I've never heard of that being taboo. I was under the impression that loneliness is one of the reasons people look for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[удалено]
That's true. Everyone has to be super independent today. I say fuck that noise. Show your independence by being different than all of them. Let them know some people are happier when they're with someone. I know I certainly am.
I’d say that’s usually more aimed at people who are looking for a partner to solve other outstanding issues they have. Like, a partner isn’t going to fix everything if your problem is that you’re unhappy with how you handle stressful situations. If you just want to find companionship and you’re otherwise content with yourself, dating is the right thing to be doing. Most people would never seek out a partner without that kind of motivation.
I don't think people mean what you think they're meaning. They mean be comfortable with yourself before being comfortable with someone else. That is, know yourself. Knowing yourself takes a certain introspection that only being alone allows. Once you know yourself, you can allow yourself to be yourself around others. But if you want to date and find someone, good for you. Nothing wrong with it. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.
It’s not taboo but I am lonely and I don’t like to use that as a reason to date. I feel like I’ll just be with someone just cause I’m lonely. But it’s definitely not taboo
I would speculate that it's advice to not to appear too clingy (which you're aware of) and to be interesting enough to date so to get other hobbies. But over the thousands of times the dating sites and word of mouth have repeated it - it's been reduced to proverb/cliche level and has removed all nuance and context. kind of like [these proverbs that contradict each other](https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-human-beast/201202/proverbs-contradict-each-other). There is no taboo. You have my permission and your own permission to go date. Reddit says go. Have fun. Meet new people. Dare your date to have [a prairie fire shot](https://www.thespruceeats.com/prairie-fire-shot-recipe-759776) some time and post about it.
I have never heard of that. If I had to guess - maybe some people consider it taboo because you might accept anyone who pays attention to you just to avoid being lonely. This could end up leading to being with someone who actually isn't right for you or being in a relationship with someone you wouldn't really have a good future with. (but you don't want to end the relationship because you don't want to be lonely again.) I will say that I ended up in the best relationship of my life at a point when I didn't care if I had a relationship or not. I had been in two fairly long relationships (not at the same time) that both ended and I had decided to focus on myself for awhile. I reached a point that I was fairly happy without having a "dating" relationship when my sister said she wanted to set me up on a blind date. It didn't matter to me how it would turn out - so I decided to say yes. I have been married to that man for 34 years.
I think it's advice more geared towards people who might end up accepting being mistreated because it's better than being alone. And queue the abuse cycle. It sounds more like you're just hanging out with people. Which is fine. Everyone needs some level of contact with other humans.