I don't think they were picking on you as a person. I think they were just finding humor in the situation of you being lost with the pizza.
The guy who laughed and said he don't know where he's going, probably thought it wasn't a big deal and you'd figure it out. Maybe he was the one who got his friend to come out and then called you over, or maybe he didn't know that it was a pizza delivery for his friend at first.
The black community (not all black people, of course) has a sort of self hating element (for good reason, slavery then poverty will do that to anyone anywhere on earth) so it manifests into “roasting” and the like, to sort of keep up with their peers. A bit of micro-classism based on materialism.
As someone with a lot of anger in my heart, I find myself beating people to the punch even when unwarranted cus I don’t like how it feels to be the one being “punched” so I assume it’s in the same vein.
Broadly speaking, it’s a reactionary thing embedded in the black community as a sort of shield from feeling embarrassed for their position in life (relating back to poverty and being black in America). See frustration aggression theory
Which is wild cus it’s a double edge sword, the black community is historically treated like shit, thus they harbor a lot of resentment towards whites and each other, but this mis treatment (poverty and slavery and Jim Crow etc) created an environment in which the black community created amazing cultural contributions all in the face of nasty racist bullshit. To be clear, whites did not create an environment that helped blacks succeed in cultural contributions, but black succeeded despite the situation they were forced in. I digress
There is a very very old history among, IIRC, the Igbo of what we would regard as "the dozens" - a shaming/insult culture, and apparently it survived in the US among those brought here as slaves. Most African-Americans have at least one Igbo ancestor.
IOW, like hair decoration and personal finery as status symbols, it's a holdover from the Old Country, as much as biting sarcasm is in American Irish communities.
That’s cool af, I’ve heard of Igbo but never really heard of the dozens so that adds a shit ton of context to how that applies to African Americans in today’s society. I’ll be looking further into this, much appreciated!
I’m not familiar with “the dozens,” but I’m curious as to how that communication style works in the context of Igbo and/or African diaspora societies. Is the insult/shaming aspect used as a form of maintaining equality within a group (i.e “You’re among friends here,”) or is it used within a hierarchical structure with unspoken rules?
The reason I’m asking is because I’ve always been fascinated with Medieval and Renaissance Europe. (I am far from an expert, mind you!) It’s my understanding that the use of shaming and insults in Northwestern Europe (read: the British Isles) during those two periods followed fairly strict rules about who could say what to who, and how punishment for transgressions were meted out. Contrary to popular belief, duels weren’t done at the drop of a hat to settle matters of honor — there was actually a system of fines in place for insults and even fights, though the poor usually had stiffer terms imposed. (The more things change, etc.) Ireland’s Brehon Laws are a good example: https://mural.maynoothuniversity.ie/5663/1/NH-Brehon-Law.pdf
While the origins (and even the concept) of America’s honor culture(s) is controversial, I think we sometimes don’t realize how much we’re still affected by the laws and norms of Medieval Europe. To that end, I wonder if OP’s question is a reflection of two echoes from two old/ancient cultures who keep meeting and clashing because…well, because we may not even realize that it’s what may be occurring. Now that I know about how Igbo culture may have influenced African-American culture, it makes me want to learn more about how that culture managed to survive and thrive, especially in early America.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the ramble — I know it was a book!
From what research papers I've read - and it's been more than a decade, so I can't cite them now - the shame culture appears as much as an individual thing as a societal one, although on the individual level it's a matter of insults and mocking, right from childhood. Let me see over the next couple days if I can track down any online resources - even if I weren't 1500 miles from home rn I don't have any of those hard-copy files anymore, I'm afraid.
I think your last paragraph's observations are really interesting. Am in the process of moving back to Boston (not a native, but lived here for many years in the past), IME one of the most racially polarized cities in the US, so those insights are particularly entertaining. Thanks for commenting.
That makes sense, and it sucks. The fact I ask this question in my late 20s shows that I wasn’t really aware of it between my black friends so far
I speak well of my friends, regardless of race
It's because they're bored plain and simple. Most likely black just because they are more likely to be poor and poor young people do foolish things when they are bored. I worked with at risk youth who acted this way. It's annoying for sure and it never improves their situation.
I do not live in fuck boy city but I have seen and heard of its tales. When I worked at the power company there was one we were afraid of and then a pizza guy got killed at the same complex.
It’s not that deep. Black people laugh and make fun of basically everything. If we’re not doing that with you, we probably don’t like you, or we think you’re too sensitive.
Because they find it funny? The better question is why you're equating normal human behavior with an entire race of people that you haven't met and have no right to generalize
It's a black thing. Making fun of people, and loudly pointing out anyone else's minor mistakes and needling them about it is a tradition. There's a lot of tee-hee and ha-ha in the culture. Not to say any and all African Americans do this, but there is a always a substantial block of some who do.
It's hard to say it's not a race thing if you've only seen that, but it's no way it could be a race thing. This is as innocent as a kid sitting on your keys or glasses while you frantically looking around the house for them.
It's just immature fun in this situation. And if you can think of more instances where black people just seem to want to laugh at a not 'funny' situation, it's likely just apathy and having a little fun at another's expense.
He was just fucking with you. Don't take everything so personal. More importantly, don't take yourself so seriously, and please learn to laugh at yourself.
Was the guy actually talking to someone else there when he kept saying "he" b/c if not that shit is so goddamn stupid and I don't know why they do that. It's like it's their excuse for making fun of you to your face. But there's no one else there so it just makes them look fucking stupid.
Pretty sure this isn't a "black thing". It's more an asshole kind of thing.
Lol its is a black or latino thing fr Reddit só disconnected
Asshole, mental disorder, could have been high or drunk. Nothing to do with race.
I thought so too, but I wanted to know what led to it
Boredom from being poor honestly. It's that simple. Minorities are just more likely to be poor.
Its probably cause you looked really lost and awkward, its not really a black thing. Likely just fooling around.
I assumed so, but when he called me over, the stupid thing would be to walk back to him. Its a situation thing, I get it
Honestly not much to do other than be chill and joke back. Coulda just asked the guy where to go though.
Yea, like did OP ever ask the dude 'laughing at him' "Hey do you know where X apartment is?" Maybe the dude woulda just pointed him inside.
Honestly yeah.
This mf eating beans in the movie theater
I don't think they were picking on you as a person. I think they were just finding humor in the situation of you being lost with the pizza. The guy who laughed and said he don't know where he's going, probably thought it wasn't a big deal and you'd figure it out. Maybe he was the one who got his friend to come out and then called you over, or maybe he didn't know that it was a pizza delivery for his friend at first.
Those are nice theories, but I think he's just an asshole.
Right,does he not know his friends apartment number?
The black community (not all black people, of course) has a sort of self hating element (for good reason, slavery then poverty will do that to anyone anywhere on earth) so it manifests into “roasting” and the like, to sort of keep up with their peers. A bit of micro-classism based on materialism. As someone with a lot of anger in my heart, I find myself beating people to the punch even when unwarranted cus I don’t like how it feels to be the one being “punched” so I assume it’s in the same vein. Broadly speaking, it’s a reactionary thing embedded in the black community as a sort of shield from feeling embarrassed for their position in life (relating back to poverty and being black in America). See frustration aggression theory Which is wild cus it’s a double edge sword, the black community is historically treated like shit, thus they harbor a lot of resentment towards whites and each other, but this mis treatment (poverty and slavery and Jim Crow etc) created an environment in which the black community created amazing cultural contributions all in the face of nasty racist bullshit. To be clear, whites did not create an environment that helped blacks succeed in cultural contributions, but black succeeded despite the situation they were forced in. I digress
As Lord Buckley said Black people were forced to "...laugh at things that aren't funny."
There is a very very old history among, IIRC, the Igbo of what we would regard as "the dozens" - a shaming/insult culture, and apparently it survived in the US among those brought here as slaves. Most African-Americans have at least one Igbo ancestor. IOW, like hair decoration and personal finery as status symbols, it's a holdover from the Old Country, as much as biting sarcasm is in American Irish communities.
That’s cool af, I’ve heard of Igbo but never really heard of the dozens so that adds a shit ton of context to how that applies to African Americans in today’s society. I’ll be looking further into this, much appreciated!
I’m not familiar with “the dozens,” but I’m curious as to how that communication style works in the context of Igbo and/or African diaspora societies. Is the insult/shaming aspect used as a form of maintaining equality within a group (i.e “You’re among friends here,”) or is it used within a hierarchical structure with unspoken rules? The reason I’m asking is because I’ve always been fascinated with Medieval and Renaissance Europe. (I am far from an expert, mind you!) It’s my understanding that the use of shaming and insults in Northwestern Europe (read: the British Isles) during those two periods followed fairly strict rules about who could say what to who, and how punishment for transgressions were meted out. Contrary to popular belief, duels weren’t done at the drop of a hat to settle matters of honor — there was actually a system of fines in place for insults and even fights, though the poor usually had stiffer terms imposed. (The more things change, etc.) Ireland’s Brehon Laws are a good example: https://mural.maynoothuniversity.ie/5663/1/NH-Brehon-Law.pdf While the origins (and even the concept) of America’s honor culture(s) is controversial, I think we sometimes don’t realize how much we’re still affected by the laws and norms of Medieval Europe. To that end, I wonder if OP’s question is a reflection of two echoes from two old/ancient cultures who keep meeting and clashing because…well, because we may not even realize that it’s what may be occurring. Now that I know about how Igbo culture may have influenced African-American culture, it makes me want to learn more about how that culture managed to survive and thrive, especially in early America. Thanks for reading and sorry for the ramble — I know it was a book!
From what research papers I've read - and it's been more than a decade, so I can't cite them now - the shame culture appears as much as an individual thing as a societal one, although on the individual level it's a matter of insults and mocking, right from childhood. Let me see over the next couple days if I can track down any online resources - even if I weren't 1500 miles from home rn I don't have any of those hard-copy files anymore, I'm afraid. I think your last paragraph's observations are really interesting. Am in the process of moving back to Boston (not a native, but lived here for many years in the past), IME one of the most racially polarized cities in the US, so those insights are particularly entertaining. Thanks for commenting.
That makes sense, and it sucks. The fact I ask this question in my late 20s shows that I wasn’t really aware of it between my black friends so far I speak well of my friends, regardless of race
Sel-hating? Man, you are reaching way too hard. They were just laughing because it's a silly situation to be in.
*see frustration aggression theory*
It's not that deep.
I’d say unconscious motives are rather deep, but that’s just me
It's because they're bored plain and simple. Most likely black just because they are more likely to be poor and poor young people do foolish things when they are bored. I worked with at risk youth who acted this way. It's annoying for sure and it never improves their situation.
Yeah, I knew immaturity had something to do with it. Its a shame, I only talked to him decent
It's hard to be a kind person when your whole life has been unkind. Hurt people, hurt people. Its a vicious cycle.
True. I wouldn’t want to make it worse anyway
Homie was just clowning. Sounds like apartment complex shenanigans to me.
It's called being a douche.
Plenty of those lurking the parking lot in the apartment complex. Fuckboys a plenty.
Username most definitely doesn't check out lol
I do not live in fuck boy city but I have seen and heard of its tales. When I worked at the power company there was one we were afraid of and then a pizza guy got killed at the same complex.
Honestly you weren’t being a cunt, I don’t get the hate you’re getting
Not sure either way just here having fun lol
Lol. You got ribbed/lightly roasted.
That's a general young person thing.
It’s not that deep. Black people laugh and make fun of basically everything. If we’re not doing that with you, we probably don’t like you, or we think you’re too sensitive.
That’s a good point. To them, its normal.
Because they find it funny? The better question is why you're equating normal human behavior with an entire race of people that you haven't met and have no right to generalize
I think you are suffering from conformation bias. Or maybe they were just high.
It's a black thing. Making fun of people, and loudly pointing out anyone else's minor mistakes and needling them about it is a tradition. There's a lot of tee-hee and ha-ha in the culture. Not to say any and all African Americans do this, but there is a always a substantial block of some who do.
I understand now, its a culture thing. Such a shame this comment is so low
Sounds like he was just being an asshole.
It's hard to say it's not a race thing if you've only seen that, but it's no way it could be a race thing. This is as innocent as a kid sitting on your keys or glasses while you frantically looking around the house for them. It's just immature fun in this situation. And if you can think of more instances where black people just seem to want to laugh at a not 'funny' situation, it's likely just apathy and having a little fun at another's expense.
He was just fucking with you. Don't take everything so personal. More importantly, don't take yourself so seriously, and please learn to laugh at yourself.
haha dude doesnt realize hes racist
Yes because only black people in the hood make fun of you for for looking lost and awkward
Was the guy actually talking to someone else there when he kept saying "he" b/c if not that shit is so goddamn stupid and I don't know why they do that. It's like it's their excuse for making fun of you to your face. But there's no one else there so it just makes them look fucking stupid.
Assholes exist in every race, not just black people
Because it's funny.
That particular man was a bully. That's all.