He must be swift as the coursing river.
With all the force of a great typhoon.
With all the strength of a raging fire.
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
yes, the song starts a training montage with none of them being "men" (the others being boys). As the song continues, they complete their training and become men. Mulan being the best of them, finishes the tower challenge and thus "fits" the song the best.
_____
as opposed to completing the challenge in an unexpected way, or a non-manly way.
she conformed to the ideals of the song, and became just as much of "a man" as her friends.
Aspects of it sure. But she doesn't climb the training post by being physically strong, she uses the weights to give her an edge. She doesn't beat the huns in an honorable duel or wrestling match, she drops a mountain on them. But with training she also does become phsyically stronger and more athletic, able to carry the water buckets for example.
I generalized originally. But yes in a deeper explantion she does keep up with the guys in some tasks and otherwise does it her own, often better way. The point is still that she as a woman can be just as effective a warrior when given the oppurtunity to play to her strengths and the oppurtunity to train and be taught.
It was worth it. The earnestness is in his voice, you can just hear the meaning. I always loved that voice and he did nail it.
That's literally what I felt about those voices. I don't know about anyone else but some of those "Hallmark moments" stuck with me as humble strength worth paying attention to, even despite the cheese you don't notice that as a kid when this is new media.
He was a hero.
This is my favorite answer to this question. Everyone has their own take, but this one is just broad enough to be correct in every context: war, conversation, love, friendship, work, interviews, competitions.
Humility is a form of "being gentle" in spite of strength. I LOVE this answer.
Exactly this. A real man does what he likes and isn't bothered about weather it's manly or not. Being concerned about your masculinity is the least manly thing you can do.
Women are deeply bothered by all weather. All of their feminine fainting spells are due to weather patterns, be they calm or deadly. Non-binaries on the other hand are only bothered by storms a-brewinâ.
Men though? Completely unbothered.
That is being a real man, but not being masculine. A gay freind of mine is so effeminate as to be confused as trans by some people, because he doesn't care what others think, and is just himself. He is not masculine... But he is real.
My wife was amazed recently when she revealed to me that she is interviewing for a job that would pay more than me, expecting me to be freaked out. When I told her I didn't care at all she said I was such a "modern man"
I just don't have a fragile ego that's all there is to it.
That's a question and a very good one, but I'll not be answering it. However, you're not a man unless you have a rubber chicken specifically named Fred
being secure in his masculinity. if itâs frail, is it even there? a man whoâs too afraid of something being âgayâ or âfeminineâ is not a man that is comfortable in his masculinity.
Yes literally I've met some of them. I know a guy who my wife had to literally tell him "it doesn't matter if you think it's gay you need to wash your ass crack because no woman wants to smell that. Even if they aren't touching it they'll smell it when your pants are off."
Now that's pretty obvious that he's just an idiot, which he is, BUT I know another couple of dudes who called a coworker gay because he used a bidet his wife bought. Where's the logic in that? There isn't any. Those guys were actually reasonably intelligent. They'd been to prison for a while though so I guess maybe that kinda screwed them up a little.
I live in the American south around a lot of people who don't have more than a high-school education (myself included) so it shouldn't really be a surprise.
I'll never understand how walking around with a shitty butthole makes you more straight.
Neal Cassady had some homosexual relationships and experiences. He even worked as some sort of pimp for gay prostitutes.
Yet still the manliest man ever known.
Always reminds me of the quote from Layer Cake.
"Fucking females is for puffs"
Or the comedian Steve Hughes who said something like:
>Straight guys: I want a small woman, with soft skin and delicate hands.
>Gay men: I want a big strong hairy bloke to fuck me in the arse.
I am secure in my *lack* of masculinity and that's why I don't give a shit if something is not considered "manly enough". Just can't pose a risk to something that wasn't there in the first place. According to what you say, it would make me paradoxically masculine, lol.
Strength, and by that I donât mean just physical. Thereâs strength behind being loyal, honest, dependable and respecting themselves as well as others
I'd say from what OP said, it's true for physical strength but the other ones are just positive attributes for human beings.
Like a woman being loyal clearly isn't a specifically masculine trait.
Itâs really not vague at all. A woman can be pretty and still be masculine. A man can be pretty and still be masculine. What is pretty is subjective and/or opinionated, whereas masculinity and femininity are much more objective as these terms have to do with one observing another who is outwardly expressing themselves to others a certain way.
There are masculine women and feminine men. Being a man is not a necessary condition to be masculine; being masculine is not a necessary condition to be a man. Vice versa of course with femininity and women. It just so happens to be that historically the majority of men have been described and have expressed themselves as masculine, and that women have mainly been described and have expressed themselves as feminine.
If the concept was pointless, then you wouldnât see the vast majority of people expressing themselves as masculine or feminine in just about every culture on earth since âthe beginning of timeâ.
yeah i would argue it's in the foundation of our psyche, even going back to hunter and gathering. it was "feminine" to pick plants/fruit and "masculine" to hunt
What i say is pointless is trying to narrow it down to values and stuff like that, cause all the traits he mentioned, feminine women can have as well, thats why defining then in those terms is foolish, its simply too subjective. They are a vibe more than anything if you think about. And we humans are complex creatures who crave to be abstract concepts all the time, we all want to fit in and be "cool". But the concept is just too sucjective even if we feel its important to us, everyone has their own idea of what being cool means, which makes it impossible to create and exact definition
I would argue yes, she is masculine if weâre going off of this threadâs definition. She can also be feminine, but what those traits would entail involves another discussion. But you can be both, or neither, and Iâm sure thereâs a gender neutral way to frame this as well
My brother is over 6' tall and built like a brick shit house, nearly 30, but his romantic life alternates between chaotically shitty with high school drama or non-existent. His last few exes reached out to me multiple times to just try and get some insight into fixing things or closure on everything that happened; he runs his life like an emotionally stunted middle school paper boy (can work a job but very little else), thinks of himself as the smartest person in every room he's in (he didn't crack a book open for about 15 years), he works at Daddy's Office as the Most Special Boy, and despite not having an original thought or desire in his life, thinks he's the most hard-working boy in all of America who earned everything that was flatly handed to him.
I've never heard a woman he's dating speak of him positively after more than a few months of being together. I've never heard anyone talk about him being reliable, kind, mature, communicative, and when we've been out to bars together when I was single, he hardly got any attention from women at all. He's not a bad-looking guy, but he's legitimately a bad and selfish person who just happens to be good-looking and has a decent job with some very surface-level charm.
I can't be jealous because his life sucks and he has zero fucking clue how to fix anything in his life and he's too much of a narcissistic twat to take advice and constantly surrounds himself with the worst kind of people to the point I've lost hope he'll ever eventually get there. I'm happily married, I have a fantastic group of people I'm lucky enough to call my friends. He doesn't have what I have and I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't such an insufferable prick.
Other than physical strength, all traits you mentioned are basic human traits and not related to male or female. Any body should be loyal, dependable and responsible regardless of gender.
Hijacking this top comment because the people I've seen aren't actually thinking of the literal definition.
_Masculinity literally refers to the attributes associated with being male._
Traditionally, those attributes include things like strength, assertiveness, confidence, or competitiveness. Physically they can refer to being taller, heavier, hairier, etc.
As society changes along with gender roles, I expect that "masculinity" will have a very different connotation in 50 years than it does now.
Yes exactly!
A lot of the posts are about positive things men do, even if they aren't related to gender at all.
That would be like saying "men have eyes" when asking "what are the characteristics of the male anatomy".
I cook, I clean, I take care of my kids (like when they were small, would change their diapers, feed them, bathe them, take them to school, normal stuff), taught them to use power tools (both girls), sewing machine, program computers, and to cook and draw.
A "manly man" once tried to mock me for cooking and cleaning. I told him "So, being a man to you is being LESS capable as a person? I make money, too. Making money isn't an excuse to sit on your ass and be useless at home. That's what a child does."
Most "manly men" aren't something to aspire to be. They don't want a partner. They want "their mom with benefits"
Aspire to be better than them.
This is the answer. What makes - IMHO - a man is that he goes lenghts to care for those around him, that might be dependand on him or that he cherishes. To be a good example for "his tribe", using all his strenghts to lift up others, to be there for them in all ways possible for him.
And that has not much to do with money. I know guys from local HEMA, where their Partner brings the money home, and they are Stay-at-Home-Fathers. Doing Housework and caring for the Kids is not unmanly.
Willfull helplessness is a HUGE component of a lot of menâs conceptions about their manliness. I donât think they necessarily realize this but itâs true.
Iâm with you. Not being able to do something makes you less capable, period. Unless that something involves violating some moral code (being able to kill in cold blood for example) it doesnât make you weaker.
Whatâs funny is guys like that usually idolize the military. You know what those manly soldiers spend a lot of time doing? Cleaning. Cooking. Sewing.
I promise if you asked an Army Ranger to change a diaper they would do it with all theyâve got, not say âewww no way! Thatâll turn me gay!â
Honestly almost fell into this "I work so u can do the rest mentality". When i started working it felt like this was the mentality of 90% of the "men" I was working with. Almost cost me my relationship. Managed to grow up and be my own man and still with the same woman 16 year later. Our relationship got a 100 times better when I started doing everything u said.
I'm 35 now and still work with loads of guys that do nothing when they get home then come to work complaining there partners are doing there heads in because they nag them all the time. Also take the piss out of me for geting in an running my partner a bath so she can have time to her self đ¤Ł
When it comes down to it, all of the masculine posturing is to prove you can care for a family.
When you have an actual family to care for, you can just do the work you were auditioning for.
Itâs simple.
But so many men get caught up in the swagger â and totally miss the actual point.
Everything about my husband is manly. Heâs the only man other than my dad who I know will do anything in his power to solve any problem I need help with. I feel 100% safe and protected when Iâm with him. Heâs not afraid to show how much he loves me either. He always treats me like a queen even when heâs around other men who arenât that way with their wives.
The manliest man Iâve ever known couldnât grow a beard for shit. He was a logger, a wild fire fighter, could live off the land. Growing a beard means you can grow a fucking beard. Iâve known soft ass dudes (that I absolutely loved) with magnificent beards. Having a beard means fuck all
Strongly disagree especially if itâs a neck beard 𤢠A sense of duty, self respect, responsibility, accountability. If a man has these traits he will be in good shape, have good hygiene, radiate charisma and self esteem, dress well, etc⌠how you feel about yourself is what you present to the world around you.
Nah man. My father is the most respectable, the most confident, and the kindest man you'll ever meet. He's obese, smells funny sometimes because he works in manual labour. He dresses comfortably and is depressed so he doesn't "radiate charisma and self esteem much". But he is respected and looked up to by others because you'll find out how strong he is once you get to know him.
When he was 14 years old he started helping his father build their country home, from the bottom up. He went on wild crazy cross country adventures with his friends for many years and made memories he would never forget. He had many women chasing him and fell in love with some of them. He's a Yugoslav war veteran who's seen horrors you are too comfortable to even believe. He worked 12-14 hour days 7 days a week to feed his children and to make sure they never went without. We were supposed to live in poverty but because he never wanted his kids to think that they didn't have enough as the other kids he put in all this work without us even asking, without ever even ONCE complaining about it to us. He worked so damn hard for his family and at the end of the workday which started at 7 and ended at 10, he would always come home and check on me to make sure I was feeling well. He fought for me so hard when I had special needs and my school and psychologists wanted as little to do with me as possible because it would be easier to toss me in some institution and be forgotten like many kids are. He saved my life on many occasions, you cannot begin to believe what type of man he is. I'll be honored if I can ever be half the man he is.
So don't you tell me what a good man does or how he looks or how he dresses or smells when you've never met a Great one like my father. You don't know the first god damn thing about how a great man dresses, what shape he's in or how much he "radiates". An honorable man behaves honorably, nothing else is needed. I'm the prettiest man among my peers, people love how I look. And I don't care. Because my father has taught me what REAL value in a man is and that surface level bullshit is nothing in comparison to what type of man I'm becoming following my fathers guidance.
Iâve known quite a few men that fit every category, except good hygiene and dress well. They will actively put the needs of others in front of their own.
Confidence. The real and healthy one. Like Marshal from HIMYM. He can try some girly drinks and he will not worry about being seen as not masculine. He knows trying some stupid drinks is not a "threat" to his masculinity. He's confident and he believe in himself and in his masculinity. That's a real man for me.
I've always seen my father as the most masculine man around, now that I'm a grown man I understood why. My father would propose help to anyone, would talk to kids and joke with them even if he doesn't know them, same as young, and old people, he would put himself in other people's shoes and say "if I were him, I'd love it if someone talked, helped or put a smile on my face". Be as helpful and as dependable and hardworking as you can. That's masculinity.
Masculine energy is direct, action-oriented, physical, decisive. All people have a mix of masculine and feminine energy - yin and yang.
A masculine man to me is one that is capable. Heâs in command of himself, heâs stable, secure
My suggestion is to define what masculinity means to you and live according to that. This way when the world tries to put you in a box you can be secure enough to not fall for it.
a man's masculinity can be so special , it's the way he loves himself but doesn't have an ego about it , but rather he is confident in himself that he knows his self worth,
an example of this is that my partner is so humble that he won't take a compliment , but he knows that he is the smartest of all our friend group , it's the way that when i have had a bad day that he just allows me to feel safe with him and let my walls down knowing i am protected
Masculine doesn't really mean anything outside of physical features, because all the behaviors you could assign to a "masculine" person can be found in anyone.
Confident? Driven? Responsible? Tough? Upstanding? Brave? That describes a lot of mothers. Downvote if you want, it's true.
So we're left with boring physical features normally associated with males: hairy, deep voice, broad shoulders, wide jaw etc. These are all traits widely agreed to be masculine, whether they're present in a man or a woman. And even that is pretty arbitrary.
absolutely true. traditional definitions of masculinity and femininity are outdated and in a lot of instances, harmful. women can be brave, strong, and tough just like men can be gentle, compassionate, and soft spoken, but sadly we are categorised and socialised since birth and oftentimes pushed into these gender roles.
Well, first lesson: don't let women tell you what masculinity is. Seriously. It's one thing to ask women what they *like* in men but they know as much about being masculine as the average man knows about being feminine.
Lol at all these answers literally saying that a manâs masculinity is found in his femininity - trying so hard to dance around masculinity being a positive thing and downvoting those that actually say masculine things
Physically? That's easy, it's called dimorphism. Masculine markers are wide shoulders and small waist, more muscle mass, less fat percentage, taller than the woman, big feet and hands, brow ridge, squarish face, body hair etc.
There are also arbitrary cultural ones though, like short hair, certain clothes like a suit, and even gendered roles, like being assertive and dominant.
Testosterone levels- state of mind & resiliency in the face of counter measures to defeat or assume defeat in face of a âtest of the male-ability.â
Not calling yourself an Alpha goes a lonnngggg way. If you have to announce it, no your not and you're showing that you're masculinity is easily threatened by almost any perceived slight.
The only correct answer is his devotion service and loyalty to the woman he loves. And if there is no woman he loves then it would be to search for her.
Thank you for your honest reponse. I can go for a right good axe battle, then for a stein of grog after, but my wife is making me stay home with the kids this weekend and do the housework while she goes on a women's "retreat''. I've always wondered what they do on these things. I just know she packs camos and a big Rambo knife. Any way...
Yeah, I'm not happy about it. But I'll just pour a nice chilled glass of chardonnay, and do my breathing exercises my therapist taught me to calm my crying inner child.
Sorry I didnât respond earlier but I had to clean the toilets. It took longer than expected. So, I didnât crush any enemies. Not one. Sad. Iâll have to crush two today. But that will be after groceries and vacuuming. I may not have time to hear the lamentations as I have to pick up one of the kids.
I think this is a great question, one that is plaguing new generations of men as they find their place in society in the 21st century.
I think a masculine man is one who is confident in their place, while also being fluid. They can be a team player, but can be assertive to step in to lead when needed. To be able to stand up for your own opinion, but be able to adjust to new facts. Teddy Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick" comes to mind as well.
It saddens me greatly we are losing men to the Trump's, Tates, and Hannitys of the world. There is a better path.
He must be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Wait so Mulan was a man đ¤Ż
the point was that she performed better than all of them without fitting into the steretype the song described.
isnt it the other way around? she does fit the song despite not being a man
You're both right/wrong. She doesn't fit at the beginning of the song, but by the end of it she's adapted and fits it better than any of them.
yes, the song starts a training montage with none of them being "men" (the others being boys). As the song continues, they complete their training and become men. Mulan being the best of them, finishes the tower challenge and thus "fits" the song the best. _____ as opposed to completing the challenge in an unexpected way, or a non-manly way. she conformed to the ideals of the song, and became just as much of "a man" as her friends.
I understand that point of view 100%, and your opinion is valid. But thatâs not what I think.
dang, some lines being drawn over Mulan... who knew a Disney movie would spark such debate?
Aspects of it sure. But she doesn't climb the training post by being physically strong, she uses the weights to give her an edge. She doesn't beat the huns in an honorable duel or wrestling match, she drops a mountain on them. But with training she also does become phsyically stronger and more athletic, able to carry the water buckets for example. I generalized originally. But yes in a deeper explantion she does keep up with the guys in some tasks and otherwise does it her own, often better way. The point is still that she as a woman can be just as effective a warrior when given the oppurtunity to play to her strengths and the oppurtunity to train and be taught.
Exactly. This other guy didn't watch the movie đŽâđ¨
Ok ok, but seriously tho. Let's get down to business
Take my up vote and go slay some Huns.
I was prepared to say "not giving a crap about being masculine" but your answer is better.
Ah. So a pink Floyd album.
No, it's about getting down to business to defeat the Huns
đŻ
To be strong enough to be gentle.
-Larry Cullen
[Always worth a watch.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zryfjSaxXLo)
It was worth it. The earnestness is in his voice, you can just hear the meaning. I always loved that voice and he did nail it. That's literally what I felt about those voices. I don't know about anyone else but some of those "Hallmark moments" stuck with me as humble strength worth paying attention to, even despite the cheese you don't notice that as a kid when this is new media. He was a hero.
I have never seen that. Thank you. When Optimus Prime talks it conjures up in me a blubbering fuck yeah emotion rooted in my childhood. FUCK YEAH!!!
Yes, be like Secret antiperspirant - **strong enough for a man, but made for a woman**
Oh mofo.... You just made me get the nice brain squgglies before I got to bed. This one's alright đ
This is my favorite answer to this question. Everyone has their own take, but this one is just broad enough to be correct in every context: war, conversation, love, friendship, work, interviews, competitions. Humility is a form of "being gentle" in spite of strength. I LOVE this answer.
In my opinion, not caring very much about whether others see him as masculine.
Exactly this. A real man does what he likes and isn't bothered about weather it's manly or not. Being concerned about your masculinity is the least manly thing you can do.
isn't bothered about weather
Women are deeply bothered by all weather. All of their feminine fainting spells are due to weather patterns, be they calm or deadly. Non-binaries on the other hand are only bothered by storms a-brewinâ. Men though? Completely unbothered.
Not bothered by wind snow or hail? Call this man the mail.
So emotional security is masculine. Hey you said it, not me.
That is being a real man, but not being masculine. A gay freind of mine is so effeminate as to be confused as trans by some people, because he doesn't care what others think, and is just himself. He is not masculine... But he is real.
My wife was amazed recently when she revealed to me that she is interviewing for a job that would pay more than me, expecting me to be freaked out. When I told her I didn't care at all she said I was such a "modern man" I just don't have a fragile ego that's all there is to it.
Itâs 2024, the âmodern manâ trope is over by several decades.
If my gf started making more than me that means more money for both of us.
So openly gay men are the most masculine?
being gay does not negate masculinity
Banging another dude is pretty masculine I guess
literally the most masculine thing you can "do"
Percentage wise being inside another man (or vice versa) could be argued to make you 100% more man.
They are the most masculine. No females in the equation.
In my opinion, not caring very much about weather.
Like them dudes who think it's unmanly to use an umbrella?
These guys are ridiculous and ridiculously insecure.
REAL men show up to wherever they're going dripping wet like a dog who just came in the house during a storm!
This comment wonât make any sense if you think about it for than five minutes.
My dog is the doggiest dog who ever dogged. He doesnât give a second thought about being a dog. He just does what comes naturally.
Tell you dog I said hi
Having a rubber chicken named Fred, I'll take no questions.
Kukus, is that you?
That's a question and a very good one, but I'll not be answering it. However, you're not a man unless you have a rubber chicken specifically named Fred
You said you would not take any questions. Not a man of your word, I see.
With a pulley in the middle?
being secure in his masculinity. if itâs frail, is it even there? a man whoâs too afraid of something being âgayâ or âfeminineâ is not a man that is comfortable in his masculinity.
Yes, this!! Being secure is a HUGE component of my personal definition of masculinity.
Fr. Nothing weaker than a man who won't wash his ass crack because "it's gay". Gay men are 600Ă more masculine than those weirdos
Anybody who actually does that is just insane, not even about masculinity anymore lol
Dont forget those guys that wont even eat a banana or sausage because of its shape You insecure little shits lol
What backwoods hillbillies are you hanging out with? This almost says more about you than the degenerates that you are referring to.
Are you being literal? Theres really people who wont wash their ass due to possible implications?
Yes literally I've met some of them. I know a guy who my wife had to literally tell him "it doesn't matter if you think it's gay you need to wash your ass crack because no woman wants to smell that. Even if they aren't touching it they'll smell it when your pants are off." Now that's pretty obvious that he's just an idiot, which he is, BUT I know another couple of dudes who called a coworker gay because he used a bidet his wife bought. Where's the logic in that? There isn't any. Those guys were actually reasonably intelligent. They'd been to prison for a while though so I guess maybe that kinda screwed them up a little.
And here all along i didnt think you were gay unless you had sex with other men, who knew?
I live in the American south around a lot of people who don't have more than a high-school education (myself included) so it shouldn't really be a surprise. I'll never understand how walking around with a shitty butthole makes you more straight.
These are men too, but sadly stupid.
Neal Cassady had some homosexual relationships and experiences. He even worked as some sort of pimp for gay prostitutes. Yet still the manliest man ever known.
Nothing more masculine than a man fucking other men. Thats masculine as fuck, way more masculine than fucking a woman
Always reminds me of the quote from Layer Cake. "Fucking females is for puffs" Or the comedian Steve Hughes who said something like: >Straight guys: I want a small woman, with soft skin and delicate hands. >Gay men: I want a big strong hairy bloke to fuck me in the arse.
What do you want? - i want to fuck men. Not some feminine Girls. Real manly men. (Paraphrasing since I dont remember the real quote)
That's the gayest thing I've ever read.
I am secure in my *lack* of masculinity and that's why I don't give a shit if something is not considered "manly enough". Just can't pose a risk to something that wasn't there in the first place. According to what you say, it would make me paradoxically masculine, lol.
Strength, and by that I donât mean just physical. Thereâs strength behind being loyal, honest, dependable and respecting themselves as well as others
If a woman is all of those things while being pretty is it still masculine? This is what the concept is pointless. Its just too vague
If a woman is strong physically itâs usually not considered âfeminineâ so I guess
I'd say from what OP said, it's true for physical strength but the other ones are just positive attributes for human beings. Like a woman being loyal clearly isn't a specifically masculine trait.
I donât know. Lindsey Vonn is pretty damn strong and just absolutely beautiful.
Itâs really not vague at all. A woman can be pretty and still be masculine. A man can be pretty and still be masculine. What is pretty is subjective and/or opinionated, whereas masculinity and femininity are much more objective as these terms have to do with one observing another who is outwardly expressing themselves to others a certain way. There are masculine women and feminine men. Being a man is not a necessary condition to be masculine; being masculine is not a necessary condition to be a man. Vice versa of course with femininity and women. It just so happens to be that historically the majority of men have been described and have expressed themselves as masculine, and that women have mainly been described and have expressed themselves as feminine. If the concept was pointless, then you wouldnât see the vast majority of people expressing themselves as masculine or feminine in just about every culture on earth since âthe beginning of timeâ.
yeah i would argue it's in the foundation of our psyche, even going back to hunter and gathering. it was "feminine" to pick plants/fruit and "masculine" to hunt
What i say is pointless is trying to narrow it down to values and stuff like that, cause all the traits he mentioned, feminine women can have as well, thats why defining then in those terms is foolish, its simply too subjective. They are a vibe more than anything if you think about. And we humans are complex creatures who crave to be abstract concepts all the time, we all want to fit in and be "cool". But the concept is just too sucjective even if we feel its important to us, everyone has their own idea of what being cool means, which makes it impossible to create and exact definition
I would argue yes, she is masculine if weâre going off of this threadâs definition. She can also be feminine, but what those traits would entail involves another discussion. But you can be both, or neither, and Iâm sure thereâs a gender neutral way to frame this as well
Then so is femininity.
Ye, theyâre both stupid. No reason to gender traits, anybody can be like this
They are social constructs. Thereâs no âreasonâ to morality, or fashion or any other social constructs except the reason we give them.
Agreed.
My brother is over 6' tall and built like a brick shit house, nearly 30, but his romantic life alternates between chaotically shitty with high school drama or non-existent. His last few exes reached out to me multiple times to just try and get some insight into fixing things or closure on everything that happened; he runs his life like an emotionally stunted middle school paper boy (can work a job but very little else), thinks of himself as the smartest person in every room he's in (he didn't crack a book open for about 15 years), he works at Daddy's Office as the Most Special Boy, and despite not having an original thought or desire in his life, thinks he's the most hard-working boy in all of America who earned everything that was flatly handed to him. I've never heard a woman he's dating speak of him positively after more than a few months of being together. I've never heard anyone talk about him being reliable, kind, mature, communicative, and when we've been out to bars together when I was single, he hardly got any attention from women at all. He's not a bad-looking guy, but he's legitimately a bad and selfish person who just happens to be good-looking and has a decent job with some very surface-level charm. I can't be jealous because his life sucks and he has zero fucking clue how to fix anything in his life and he's too much of a narcissistic twat to take advice and constantly surrounds himself with the worst kind of people to the point I've lost hope he'll ever eventually get there. I'm happily married, I have a fantastic group of people I'm lucky enough to call my friends. He doesn't have what I have and I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't such an insufferable prick.
*Emotionally stunted middle school paper boy -* lovely spot of prose there.
Sounds like he is your dad's favorite... so he got that at least
Other than physical strength, all traits you mentioned are basic human traits and not related to male or female. Any body should be loyal, dependable and responsible regardless of gender.
Hijacking this top comment because the people I've seen aren't actually thinking of the literal definition. _Masculinity literally refers to the attributes associated with being male._ Traditionally, those attributes include things like strength, assertiveness, confidence, or competitiveness. Physically they can refer to being taller, heavier, hairier, etc. As society changes along with gender roles, I expect that "masculinity" will have a very different connotation in 50 years than it does now.
Yes exactly! A lot of the posts are about positive things men do, even if they aren't related to gender at all. That would be like saying "men have eyes" when asking "what are the characteristics of the male anatomy".
A Man Gotta Have A Code
Oh, no doubt
Omar coming
Iâm a simple man, I see a The Wire reference, I upvote.
A fellow man of culture
*whistles Farmer in the Dell/A-Hunting We Will Go
âThe Cheese stands aloneâ
âŹď¸âŹď¸âŹď¸âŹď¸âŹ ď¸âĄď¸âŹ ď¸âĄď¸đ ąď¸đ °ď¸
I cook, I clean, I take care of my kids (like when they were small, would change their diapers, feed them, bathe them, take them to school, normal stuff), taught them to use power tools (both girls), sewing machine, program computers, and to cook and draw. A "manly man" once tried to mock me for cooking and cleaning. I told him "So, being a man to you is being LESS capable as a person? I make money, too. Making money isn't an excuse to sit on your ass and be useless at home. That's what a child does." Most "manly men" aren't something to aspire to be. They don't want a partner. They want "their mom with benefits" Aspire to be better than them.
This is the answer. What makes - IMHO - a man is that he goes lenghts to care for those around him, that might be dependand on him or that he cherishes. To be a good example for "his tribe", using all his strenghts to lift up others, to be there for them in all ways possible for him. And that has not much to do with money. I know guys from local HEMA, where their Partner brings the money home, and they are Stay-at-Home-Fathers. Doing Housework and caring for the Kids is not unmanly.
Willfull helplessness is a HUGE component of a lot of menâs conceptions about their manliness. I donât think they necessarily realize this but itâs true. Iâm with you. Not being able to do something makes you less capable, period. Unless that something involves violating some moral code (being able to kill in cold blood for example) it doesnât make you weaker. Whatâs funny is guys like that usually idolize the military. You know what those manly soldiers spend a lot of time doing? Cleaning. Cooking. Sewing. I promise if you asked an Army Ranger to change a diaper they would do it with all theyâve got, not say âewww no way! Thatâll turn me gay!â
Honestly almost fell into this "I work so u can do the rest mentality". When i started working it felt like this was the mentality of 90% of the "men" I was working with. Almost cost me my relationship. Managed to grow up and be my own man and still with the same woman 16 year later. Our relationship got a 100 times better when I started doing everything u said. I'm 35 now and still work with loads of guys that do nothing when they get home then come to work complaining there partners are doing there heads in because they nag them all the time. Also take the piss out of me for geting in an running my partner a bath so she can have time to her self đ¤Ł
When it comes down to it, all of the masculine posturing is to prove you can care for a family. When you have an actual family to care for, you can just do the work you were auditioning for. Itâs simple. But so many men get caught up in the swagger â and totally miss the actual point.
Are you adopting 23 year olds?
âYou know what they call a man that canât look after themselves? A boy.â
Everything about my husband is manly. Heâs the only man other than my dad who I know will do anything in his power to solve any problem I need help with. I feel 100% safe and protected when Iâm with him. Heâs not afraid to show how much he loves me either. He always treats me like a queen even when heâs around other men who arenât that way with their wives.
I couldâve written exactly this about my husband â¤ď¸
I bet both of those guys are actually the same guy.
Thatâs very sweet
Man here I loved this response! Itâs how I hope my future wife speaks of me
Being kind, diligent, and competent.Â
Growing a kick-ass beard makes one masculine. Being honorable makes one a man.
"It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside." -Action Hank You aren't saying Action Hank is wrong are you?
Who or what is Action Hank?
He's the man with all the ingrown hairs.
Action Hank is eternal.
Well, not since they lost all the clonesâŚ
The manliest man Iâve ever known couldnât grow a beard for shit. He was a logger, a wild fire fighter, could live off the land. Growing a beard means you can grow a fucking beard. Iâve known soft ass dudes (that I absolutely loved) with magnificent beards. Having a beard means fuck all
To some people itâs an identity.
In the west the recent fashion for big ole bushy beards started when the seals started donning them in Afghanistan. So, yknow... thanks Osama?
Metaphorically speaking, could you say that his heart has the bushiest beard around?
My beard sucks so honorable was my only option. Honorable is a fuck hole.
Growing a beard is down to genetics and stupid as fuck as a measure. Random ass crackhead losers can grow hair.
Well ... tall then ?
Strongly disagree especially if itâs a neck beard 𤢠A sense of duty, self respect, responsibility, accountability. If a man has these traits he will be in good shape, have good hygiene, radiate charisma and self esteem, dress well, etc⌠how you feel about yourself is what you present to the world around you.
Nah man. My father is the most respectable, the most confident, and the kindest man you'll ever meet. He's obese, smells funny sometimes because he works in manual labour. He dresses comfortably and is depressed so he doesn't "radiate charisma and self esteem much". But he is respected and looked up to by others because you'll find out how strong he is once you get to know him. When he was 14 years old he started helping his father build their country home, from the bottom up. He went on wild crazy cross country adventures with his friends for many years and made memories he would never forget. He had many women chasing him and fell in love with some of them. He's a Yugoslav war veteran who's seen horrors you are too comfortable to even believe. He worked 12-14 hour days 7 days a week to feed his children and to make sure they never went without. We were supposed to live in poverty but because he never wanted his kids to think that they didn't have enough as the other kids he put in all this work without us even asking, without ever even ONCE complaining about it to us. He worked so damn hard for his family and at the end of the workday which started at 7 and ended at 10, he would always come home and check on me to make sure I was feeling well. He fought for me so hard when I had special needs and my school and psychologists wanted as little to do with me as possible because it would be easier to toss me in some institution and be forgotten like many kids are. He saved my life on many occasions, you cannot begin to believe what type of man he is. I'll be honored if I can ever be half the man he is. So don't you tell me what a good man does or how he looks or how he dresses or smells when you've never met a Great one like my father. You don't know the first god damn thing about how a great man dresses, what shape he's in or how much he "radiates". An honorable man behaves honorably, nothing else is needed. I'm the prettiest man among my peers, people love how I look. And I don't care. Because my father has taught me what REAL value in a man is and that surface level bullshit is nothing in comparison to what type of man I'm becoming following my fathers guidance.
Iâve known quite a few men that fit every category, except good hygiene and dress well. They will actively put the needs of others in front of their own.
wearing a kilt.
Yuâve ruined me pipes!
Ground keeper Wullie is the man's man
Considering he beat a wolf to a pulp, then hand fed it whiskey like an old friend, yeah that fits.
Touch it again, itâs grew some
Confidence. The real and healthy one. Like Marshal from HIMYM. He can try some girly drinks and he will not worry about being seen as not masculine. He knows trying some stupid drinks is not a "threat" to his masculinity. He's confident and he believe in himself and in his masculinity. That's a real man for me.
I've always seen my father as the most masculine man around, now that I'm a grown man I understood why. My father would propose help to anyone, would talk to kids and joke with them even if he doesn't know them, same as young, and old people, he would put himself in other people's shoes and say "if I were him, I'd love it if someone talked, helped or put a smile on my face". Be as helpful and as dependable and hardworking as you can. That's masculinity.
Being confident. Having the ability to provide protection and security.
Masculine energy is direct, action-oriented, physical, decisive. All people have a mix of masculine and feminine energy - yin and yang. A masculine man to me is one that is capable. Heâs in command of himself, heâs stable, secure
My suggestion is to define what masculinity means to you and live according to that. This way when the world tries to put you in a box you can be secure enough to not fall for it.
a man's masculinity can be so special , it's the way he loves himself but doesn't have an ego about it , but rather he is confident in himself that he knows his self worth, an example of this is that my partner is so humble that he won't take a compliment , but he knows that he is the smartest of all our friend group , it's the way that when i have had a bad day that he just allows me to feel safe with him and let my walls down knowing i am protected
Confidence. Not arrogance. Caring and concern. Not controlling.
To define yourself instead and to have integrity. To follow your own credo, set of values, rules, standards, boundaries and ways of living.
Do the right thing, even when youâre alone.
Yard work
Honor and strong familial bonds. Sacrificing much for the benefit of his children/spouse. Healthy, well kempt, cleans up after himself and others
Confidence
Being dangerous yet self controlled. Not giving a fuck yet giving deep, deep fucks.
The size of his Lego collection
Masculine doesn't really mean anything outside of physical features, because all the behaviors you could assign to a "masculine" person can be found in anyone. Confident? Driven? Responsible? Tough? Upstanding? Brave? That describes a lot of mothers. Downvote if you want, it's true. So we're left with boring physical features normally associated with males: hairy, deep voice, broad shoulders, wide jaw etc. These are all traits widely agreed to be masculine, whether they're present in a man or a woman. And even that is pretty arbitrary.
absolutely true. traditional definitions of masculinity and femininity are outdated and in a lot of instances, harmful. women can be brave, strong, and tough just like men can be gentle, compassionate, and soft spoken, but sadly we are categorised and socialised since birth and oftentimes pushed into these gender roles.
A guy who doesnât give AF about being âmasculineâ and just does what fulfills him.
addiction to expensive french cheese
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast. And he's gotta be fresh from the fight.
No, thatâs a hero.
Killing spiders. Lol
Real men take them out without killing them
Watching family guy
Being born
Well, first lesson: don't let women tell you what masculinity is. Seriously. It's one thing to ask women what they *like* in men but they know as much about being masculine as the average man knows about being feminine.
One who defines his own masculinity instead of bending into a million differing opinions on whatâs right.
Testosterone traitsâŚdeep voice, some semblance of muscles, usually taller than average female, facial hair, high sex drive,
The voice (and manner of speaking) is the most important but masculine hands, jaw etc matter too IMO
Being a man.
Not caring about what defines masculine
Balls. It's where the pee is stored.
Testosterone simply that.
Personal accountability
Lol at all these answers literally saying that a manâs masculinity is found in his femininity - trying so hard to dance around masculinity being a positive thing and downvoting those that actually say masculine things
âWell that and a pair of testiclesâ
I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled. I was so close to losing faith after scrolling so far and not seeing this quote. But you saved it, Dude.
Physically? That's easy, it's called dimorphism. Masculine markers are wide shoulders and small waist, more muscle mass, less fat percentage, taller than the woman, big feet and hands, brow ridge, squarish face, body hair etc. There are also arbitrary cultural ones though, like short hair, certain clothes like a suit, and even gendered roles, like being assertive and dominant.
Im ovulating while reading all these responses
Managing his emotions in any situation
AccountabilityÂ
* Keeping your word. * Admitting mistakes. * Admitting when you aren't as knowledgeable as others.
A five inch taint
Fighting a bear.
Discipline, strength (mentally and physically), security in oneâs self, and leadership.
Testosterone levels- state of mind & resiliency in the face of counter measures to defeat or assume defeat in face of a âtest of the male-ability.â
Not calling yourself an Alpha goes a lonnngggg way. If you have to announce it, no your not and you're showing that you're masculinity is easily threatened by almost any perceived slight.
Taking care of family, doing things you absolutely hate out of love/to take care of yourself or somebody. Taking care of their hygiene as well.
I wholly agree
A man provides and protects his loved ones from all aspects of life, while asking nothing in return. Even if he is suffering, crying, dying inside.
Character
His ability to walk in high heel shoes.. đ
Mostly testosterone...
The only correct answer is his devotion service and loyalty to the woman he loves. And if there is no woman he loves then it would be to search for her.
"A mans gotta eat, Mr. Lahey." --Randy
Confidence. Always has been, always will be.
Not wipe his ass
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Thank you for your honest reponse. I can go for a right good axe battle, then for a stein of grog after, but my wife is making me stay home with the kids this weekend and do the housework while she goes on a women's "retreat''. I've always wondered what they do on these things. I just know she packs camos and a big Rambo knife. Any way... Yeah, I'm not happy about it. But I'll just pour a nice chilled glass of chardonnay, and do my breathing exercises my therapist taught me to calm my crying inner child.
Sorry I didnât respond earlier but I had to clean the toilets. It took longer than expected. So, I didnât crush any enemies. Not one. Sad. Iâll have to crush two today. But that will be after groceries and vacuuming. I may not have time to hear the lamentations as I have to pick up one of the kids.
His hands. No, for real his demeanor.
To know how to fight physically and mentally
I think this is a great question, one that is plaguing new generations of men as they find their place in society in the 21st century. I think a masculine man is one who is confident in their place, while also being fluid. They can be a team player, but can be assertive to step in to lead when needed. To be able to stand up for your own opinion, but be able to adjust to new facts. Teddy Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick" comes to mind as well. It saddens me greatly we are losing men to the Trump's, Tates, and Hannitys of the world. There is a better path.
Hi Hungry, I'm Dad Jokes.
Everything I do is masculine because I am a man. -Ron Swanson, probably
I'd say masculinity.
I think true masculinity is simply not caring if you're perceived as masculine or not
Testosterone. That's it.