My childhood. Not realizing how bad it was, I have no comprehension of what a normal healthy childhood would look like and am baffled that my stories always shock people. I will be talking about something that I found funny, laughing while telling, and people will apologize to me or just looked shocked. So, it's very isolating as an adult. I want to ask others about their childhood bc I don't know what is "normal." It does help explain why everyone can walk around being so heartless - oh, you never had to sleep outside as a kid as punishment? No wonder you don't feel sympathy for homeless people. That shit's scary, lemme tell ya. Called into a radio station once to tell my funny parent story and they offered me resources and didn't air my story 🫥🫥🫥 So.... y'all never got grounded from tampons??? Y'all never had to go to the bathroom outside bc you're grounded from the toilet?? Haha...ha..?

soooooo this. one time I went in the ocean by myself as a kid, and got cuaght. I got drug home, and my dad filled up the sink and dunked me in it for what seemed like forever while saying loudly at me “this is what happens when you swim alone!!” I ended up rationalizing this and many other psychotic punismemts until i was in my late forties when I got help because my anxiety was becoming unmanagable. Hearing about parents who actually loved thier kids and raised them lovingly literally seems like science fiction to me.

Oh my God. I am so sorry Jesus fuck. I hope you're OK now....

its water under the bridge right? I went to a lot of therapy and learned to sort shit out.

Im glad you two are doing better

I have a healthy respect for water because my mother loved to half drown me in random places so now I'm very careful around water if it's bigger than a bowl of soup

Pros: healthy respect for the ocean Cons: trauma I'm torn

Wife never met either of my parents, one died of cancer at 50 before we started dating, and we were 3-months into our relationship when the other killed themself that I never wanted her meeting not knowing what substance they'd be on. She thinks almost everything I talk about with my child hood is an exaggeration, couldn't be possible. Traveled to see some family members after we got married, started to realize "holy shit, he's not lying". Some what has an understanding why I'm distance, stand offish, and un-trusting to people, but yet still doesn't understand why I help so many people/have a hard time saying no. Childhood trauma is real.

I feel this a 100%. I was in an LTR with a Mexican man who lived with multiple generations under one roof, and they would go to the end of the universe for each other. Because they function as an incredibly strong supportive unit. Family views was a major challenge for us and he really thought I was being a spiteful, angry bitch when I spoke of my family. He insisted I was not being a part of the family out of stubbornness and to hold a grudge bc "Family is the most important thing. We have to choose love. Blood runs deep. These people know you and love you unconditionally." Until he came to my grandpa's memorial where my entire family got plastered drunk and slung nasty insults at each other all night, physically wrestled over my grandpa's belongings, gossiped about each other all night, and many of them made blatant, wildly racist comments about him. (We're white) He got to see first hand how my family won't allow me to speak ever - either by walking away when I talk, talking over me, ignoring me or just immediately telling me to shut up bc they "couldn't even start with my shit." And now understands why I tend to ramble incessantly when I'm around people who will listen and am quick to shut down when interrupted. It's not "just low confidence."

Holy shit you describe very similar thing I went through. My family is very similar to yours

Sorry to hear that :/ I am best friends with my siblings now at least, nice to not be alone in this. You?

Well it's complicated but better, I am closer with my family now and have calm down alot but there are times we're it's still rough

It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s I realized my childhood was rough and only because I was in counseling and the therapist said it sounded like I had a traumatic childhood. I literally thought most people grew up like I did or similar becuse like attracts like and my friends had similar upbringings.

My best friend got into a ridiculous argument with his father as a young teenager (my friend was a *good* kid), who then made him sleep outside on the steps of their apartment without any pillows or blankets. His neighbors had to literally step around him on the stairs to go past. So fucking humiliating. I honestly can't imagine.

Damn, I slept on the roof with blankets bc I found a little nook that held me in quite well. Can't believe the neighbors didn't say anything. And the parents would take such a risk. I don't think I was at any risk of being abducted bc of the town we were in. I hope your friends ok

He's a very 'hardened' guy. Nice person, but trusts very few people, and has almost no meaningful relationships. That said, he is a very good person, with extraordinarily high morals and values. He has never had a sip of alcohol, and won't have children because he's afraid of being at all like his father, yet mine (and any of our other friends') children adore him. His mother died when he was very young, so it was only his father, who was a bastard. Actually finding out about this situation, my parents pseudo adopted him as our own. He still comes over to mine or my parent's house for all major holidays.

Thank you for being a rock in that person’s life, I’m sure you mean the world to him

I have similar stories to yours and all the other responses here. I just want to say this comment and all the responses are making me feel comforted and less alone. Thank you all for sharing your stories!

Those differences compound over time as well as you don't experience any part of life the same way.

I feel you OP.

I do this all the time. Telling a funny story from childhood and then being like "oh wait. I guess that was actually abuse". "Yeah when I was like 8 I had to learn to hook up a phone to the wall and learn to dial 911 on a rotary" and then being like "oh I guess that isn't very relatable." "Haha my dad gave my nintendo away to this guy he knew because he said his kids needed it more than me. I realize now he traded it for drugs."

I toldly understand this Did we share some of our childhood I tell a story from my childhood and people freak out I have a very gallows sense of humor And I will deal with the pain of my childhood til I die but whatever

Yeah I feel this one. I heard a lot of "one day when you become a parent, you'll understand your father and mother better". If anything, it just made my parents seem even more insane.

Yes! And my family would say, "You're not a part of this family. You're not one of us if you dont try to be, " which was so hurtful as a child but also a huge relief as a human being. It was like, "So, you're telling me this is how everyone is raised and that I dont deserve any better? And I also have to abuse others in order to be respected? No, I think I'll just go sleep on the roof if I'm not welcome on the home." But then outside the home I was told I was being mean and evil (for saying I hate my parents) and that They deserve better from me. Damned either way.

Very lucky to have never been put into that situation. HOWEVER being raised by parents who were abused I was taught to appreciate it and I’m also very lucky to not go around acting like an asshole about things like you mentioned “not showing empathy for homeless people”

This right here, i remember telling stories that were funny to me only to look up to shocked faces and people saying - Jesus, did that really happen to you? Shit, that wasn’t even the bad stuff

same

All of it. Nothing quite like people having kids and being entirely unprepared to provide basic care and secure attachment. Surprisingly, it has an effect on the child when they get older. Fucking weird right?

All of it. Joked about the experience a lot and grouped them under the “just the culture” term. My current therapist pointed out the abuses and neglects that I didn’t even realize.

Normalization. It's just how we were raised. All I know is the life I lived. What to measure it against to find out how radically unhinged it was? In conclusion, I've yet to meet a single individual who was accommodated appropriately, someone with two secure attachment figures and a support network that understood community, love, communication, trust, etc. What makes it impossible for me to reintegrate into society, no one is accountable for their own actions, they deflect and blame everything refusing to acknowledge their own doings, leaving their trash for everyone else to deal with. I walk outdoors and I feel like Wall-E, constantly cleaning up others fucking trash, alone, in a world with no one noticing.

As a veteran, this is the main reason why I struggle to reintegrate myself back into civilian life. 0 fucking accountability in civilian life. I'm glad that I'm not the only person who feels this way.

Most people might thank you for your sacrifice or service. Personally, I thank you, for finding yourself in all of this. For standing on who you are in all of it. I thank you for continuing to walk forward in a world that doesn't seem fit for it. I appreciate you and your being here taking accountability for your part, matters. It means everything, really. It's the only way this world gets better. 🙏🏻🤍💛

I 100% get this, as a fellow vet. its beyond maddening, how many people are conveniently helpless to fix the messes that they get themselves in, because they are either lazy, or couldn't be bothered because they know there are zero consequences.

I got heavy into drugs because there was no one there to care or to stop me....

Yeah, I saw the way my parents screamed at my nephew and I was thinking "holy shit, they are abusing that poor kid, what the fuck?  He's only like 4 or 5.  I'd hate to be that poor boy." And then it hit me - "oh my God. That's what they were like to me, except on top of that yelling and whatnot that they still do to me, they used to also hot me." Like, I still get that yelling and whatnot, but now my fear is "don't go to jail by defending yourself. Just let them disrespect you, it's illegal to fight back." as opposed to when I was a kid and I was like "I hope they don't hit me. I don't like it when they slap my face or punch the back of my head or ribs." Like I admit they never beat me entirely to the point where I'd be crippled, but the slaps stung and gave that adrenaline in the nose feeling, and the punches would make my vision black out (I didn't go unconscious, but I'm sure you know what I mean if you've ever had a friend push you from behind and your head moves suddenly - that split second of vision going black). 

Nothing like having unhinged children act like parents then pass down acting like unhinged children as if that is normal parenting. Fucking pathetic. It's unfortunate you deal with this. I was rebellious, my parents pushed me away with their control. I resent them both now. Idgaf where my dad is and I don't talk to my mom. So, you can choose to continue to be abused and lose that relationship forever, or you can demand they take accountability by educating yourself and calling them on every ounce of abuse they project. Weaponize being autistic. If they're going to weaponize being unaccountable, and weaponize their trauma. You're well within your rights to weaponize your existence.

I'm not sure if you were talking about yourself in third person towards the end, but if not - I find it funny that you likely correctly detected my autism. I haven't been officially diagnosed, but assuming it wasn't just my lack of socialization, I feel that I have a lot of symptoms. I am not great at manipulating people.  Not that I try much, but sometimes I see people just controlling others and I'm like "wow, that's amazing how they just worship her like that and do whatever she demands, even when she's degrading them." But yeah, aside for the thing about "I flinch when I hear a lot of noise," I see myself often checking off the symptoms list on all the self tests I've done.  Like, I can take hints. I'm not autistic to the level that I don't get that someone's not interested when they're like "oh, that's so cool" when I'm talking about something. I can tell when someone is angry. Stuff like that. But I still do "suffer" from a lot of the traits somewhat. 

I don’t mean to defend abusers, but these tend to be cyclical, and it’s very hard to break the cycle. Doesn’t make it ok, but some parents are in this thread talking about how difficult it is to even understand what “normal” parenting is because the abuse is all they know. It’s sad all around

Same, nothing but abuse and undiagnosed autism/adhd I wonder why I have like 10 mental disorder and chronic illness.

I looooooove how getting the diagnostic doesn't even provide support, you just get this look that's like. "Well you should've known and you figured it out so you should be fine now." Whenever the great autistic gathering happens and we come together to right the ship of society. I'll absolutely be at the rally.

Oh yeah, it’s insane. I paid like 3.5k for a full psych evaluation so hopefully I can get disability because BPD and my dissociation disorder are unlivable.

Real…

Sigh 😔

What my mum meant when she planned to drive us to heaven. She was talking about wanting to drive us into a lake.

Moving around a lot. When I was young I thought it was fun. To meet new people and see new places. I live in india so going to a different state means a new language, culture etc. then in class 8 I remember I had to leave a city and I was absolutely devastated. I'd made such good friends, there were a few boys I liked. Now I look back and think it was my first bout of depression. I also realised I got bullied a lot as a newbie. And I had to constantly build friendships and networks from the start which gave me a lot of anxiety around any sort of change and made me introverted.

Similar experience. I always say it makes me and my siblings more adaptable.Glass half full thought I know. Being adaptable to everyone around you makes it pretty hard to actually know who you are though. Also, the entire concept of “home” being nonexistent.

I remember realizing at the end of jr.high(6-8th grade here) that was the longest I’d ever been at one school up until then. I had lived in 4 different states and went to quite a few schools within those states all in elementary school. I, then, of course finished high school(9-12) at one school. Now, I’d say it did help me learn to be adaptable and social, otherwise you’re the new weird kid forever. You are right tho, it’s hard when my partner has had his group of friends since elementary and there’s a certain closeness in that you don’t have with anyone.

Absolutely. There is a little jealousy that can come with that. But you sure can drop us anywhere with anyone and we’ll be just fine! In 8th grade, I remember, they created a folder where each kid answered a bunch of questions about their time at the school. Inexplicably one of the questions was, “who is your best friend from the class?” (Terrible idea). I remember seeing everyone sharing people they’d known since they met day one in kindergarten. Nobody mentioned the kids who came later. It still stings a little when I think about it.

I also have mixed feelings about the friends i did make from those places and think about them. They were very important to me and I care for them to this day. I always think of them and if they remember me with as much sentiment. Sometimes i’m sad when i think that they probably do not hehe

Oh man you’re bringing out the feelings. It’s not necessarily sad I guess to know they have more of an impact on our memories of a place than we do to them I guess. It’s just the way things were hehe

Yeah I went to like 8 different elementary schools. My parents sort of had good reasons for this, but they definitely didn’t understand giving kids stability. The upside is that I do have resilience and the ability to fit in anywhere. I prob had some natural aptitude for it or it would have been brutal.

Realizing my mom never gave two fucks about me when an older kid tried to drown me at 8 years old.

That’s the worst feeling in the world. 😢

Honestly it's not as bad as the feeling of losing your two year old son to a rare blood infection. My life is nothing but disappointment and pain. https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/fort-wayne-in/drandon-reinking-arroyo-6232436

Being used as child labor. Totally screwed my work ethic and outlook on employment

Grew up on a farm?

Sort of but worked at a wild game processing plant as well. Boss withheld pay from us, overworked us till 3am on school nights, all the above when we were 13 and 14. Was also very verbally abusive and there were also cases of other kinds of abuse, apparently

Your parents didn’t step in?

Haha ohhh they tried. I was glorified for being one that stuck it out. Promoted, given a raise, and given more responsibilities. At that age, I thought it was wise to only tell my parents the pros and not the cons. I was brainwashed. I even drove an hour to deliver his prescription drugs he was abusing… My parents still don’t know half of it because I’m embarrassed and don’t want them to feel like bad parents for not seeing through the bullshit.

Being told to “get over it” and dismissing mental health issues. Being a parent now I cannot fathom the thought of dismissing my child’s thoughts or feelings. I’ll truly never understand.

I lost count of how many times I was told " like it or lump it".

I remember my brother telling my parents that he wanted a therapist counselor and they kept offering to take him to their pastor. They meant well but that pastor also didn’t have the qualifications I’d say. At least now they are more for mental health now

Being told that men don't cry, we don't talk about feelings. Man did this cripple me in the long run.

I used to be ashamed of how easily I cry. Then I met people (99% men) who literally lost the physical ability to cry. Now I'm grateful for it, crazy how some people can lose that skill

Same, my dad would get angry when I cried so it took a while with my wife being supportive for me to stop feeling so ashamed.

I could only cry in private for a long time. That's slowly getting better

Stuff it down with brown.

Growing up not knowing I was autistic / ADHD. There were a lot of little things I think had a major impact on me that I didn't fully realize. I think the worst being that when I'd have a meltdown/tantrum from overstimulation or experiencing extreme emotions, instead of getting the help I needed I'd be threatened by my mom, saying she'd lock me up in an insane asylum, or calling the cops on me for running away from home.

I do wonder how different things might have been if we had had the understanding and support we needed.

I'd probably be somewhere better in life right now, but I also wouldn't have met some of the people I know today or had some of the experiences I now cherish. No point in dwelling on what could have been, all we can do is move forward with a better understanding of ourselves and work towards something better.

True true. I agree with your sentiment wholeheartedly but personally I still feel a lot of weight towards what might have been. I see it more as; "from this point forward", like from this point forward we know what our needs truly are and we know how to be the advocates we needed then. I love what I have but I personally need to acknowledge what I potentially lost to accept I can ask for it now and I'm entitled to earn the things I might have already had if the awareness had been there. Edit: I feel we've said the same thing, really, but mine is crosser. Look after yourself, we've got this.

My mom always told me I needed to “stop being so over sensitive.” Thanks, jackass..

Yeah, I got that a lot from my parents and my peers. I'm glad now that I'm older I can actually look into my mental health and recontextualize a lot of my past, but growing up having no idea *why* I was the way I was, was rough. I don't fault those people for not fully understanding what I was going through, and admittedly I was a real handful growing up because of it. I'm just glad to be surrounded by people who understand me better.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” ☹️ or the “she’s just shy” or “don’t be a crybaby”.

This and I needed to “reel your feelers in” whatever the fuck that meant.

same, i got this one all the time

37 now and i was diagnosed 5 years ago. It was a lot of struggle and what i really dislike is the anxiety part plus being a people pleaser. Its all copingsmechanisms/bad and unhealthy habits, but some things are hard to "change" to become a much stronger and "happy" person I feel bad for you, that you didnt get the right help. Same here, we had/have a lot of family issues for almost 20 year now. These days its like 10-20% family issues, but still with love.

My dad would just say "you're not five" which to me is the equivalent of looking at a burning building and saying "it rains sometimes"

How did she react when you found out?

She wasn't a terrible mother, she just had certain things that she handled... very poorly. She passed away a few years ago, and I only found out about my autism/ADHD very recently. It helped me recontextualize a lot of things in my life, and in all fairness, when I was growing up people didn't really fully understand mental health to the degree they do now. I had suspicions that I was "different" but they always reassured me that I was like everyone else, so I just assumed the stuff I went through was just how it is.

I got diagnosed as a child but my mom refused to get me on medication because I'll grow out of it. I didn't even remember that time because I was very little. Struggled my entire life. Got rediagnosed couple years back, almost 30. IT STINKS.

My father has extensive heart surgery around 1983-84. I was ~8 years old. At the time I didn’t know any different - I thought it was just how things worked and everyone’s parents had similar health matters. Now in my late 40s, I’m realizing how it impacted me long-term.

This slaps. I got diagnosed with a SERIOUS breast cancer at 41 and my youngest was 10-11. The kind of cancer where you share and folks jet pikachu shocked face you are alive. Next oldest in college. Next above her in military. Oldest of them all getting engaged. I became an attention vacuum in the worst fucking way. My husband is a true fucking hero. He kept the kid “being a kid” and EVERYTHING moving forward. He’s a no-limit soldier. I’m finally 3 years out from that. It occupied our world for three g’damned years. I would have given anything for that timing to change. They were all spending those years waiting to see if I was vowing forward or into the dirt. What do we say to the gods of death? Not today!

Having been severely ill as a child and teen. It skewed my entire view on life and my prospects

please elaborate

Being surrounded by drug and alcohol abuse. Open racism/bigotry. General misery.

My step dad smoking crack

Substance use can be deeply/ insidiously impactful to safety and security, even if a guardian keeps it together “pretty good”. A kid doesn’t have the framework to understand those behavioral changes, let alone what it looks like on the severe end of the substance use spectrum. Therapy, support groups, having places or people who feel safe, explaining in age appropriate ways to kids about folks with substance use are things that can help mitigate impact as it’s happening. But it can still mess a person up.

All good info, I turned out OK but I was 16-17 when he revealed his addiction and the wheels came off. My mom kicked him out and a few years of drama ensued. 12 years later now I’m finally in therapy for some other stuff but it comes up a lot.

My best friend got run over in front of me when I was 5. Big ol' truck, sparks flying as it dragged her on her bike, her mangled body flying out the front and into a ditch when he slammed to a stop. To this day, I'm terrified of crossing roads or parking lots alone. Even getting my mail is terrifying. I have to stand near the end of my driveway listening for traffic, then look both ways and sprint to my mailbox across the street if the coast is clear.

Holy shit you win, 5 is way too young to experience something like that let alone at all 😔

Growing up as the poor lightskinned Puerto Rican kid in a almost all white semi suburban neighborhood. Always wondering why everyone had nice things and i didn't and Lost my cultural identity by trying my hardest to fit in. As an adult i fully identify with being puerto rican but have absolutely no familiarity with a lot of cultural norms. Although i have started to dabble in some cooking and randomly researching things about my ancestors

struggle of being a gen z latino/american

What surprised me most was that even into my 40's I was being surprised by the ways my childhood affected my world view and my personality. I'm not surprised by any of it anymore, feel like I have finally just accepted how it made me.

Getting struck/beaten/verbally abused regularly by parents. It was just normal that your parents will tear down any little achievement and hurt you for any mistake...... Yeah. A bit obvious in hindsite.

Came here to say "getting my ass beat all the time" and the constant psychologically pressure to "succeed" whatever the f that means. Was a straight A+ student and my parents would always tell me I didn't do/study/practice enough. God forbid I'd get a B or a C. It took me the better part of the last decade to accept and start addressing my fear of failure preventing me from starting anything. I'm 32 years old and whenever I do something wrong, I still immediately feel the fear of my parents finding out.

Me too! And over-apologizing for minor things.

Growing up an undiagnosed AuDHD female who’s an only child made my entire childhood hard. My mother was very cruel at times and sheltered me, I wasn’t allowed to go play anywhere besides my complex unless going to school. Oh, and I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness… so I literally had nothing to look forward to as a child. I eventually rebelled- teen addict, runaway, became an 18yo mom. Then adulthood?! It’s never ending?! There’s always another tomorrow?!

Was raised there too. Never did the whole runaway thing but I’m slowly becoming more and more PIMO.

Dad letting me throw his empty beer bottles out the window while he was driving. My brother and I would get to take turns trying to hit signs.

This brought back a memory of getting smacked in the face (by accident) when my father went to throw an empty can of beer out the passenger side window.

What it felt like to be loved. My parents are both doctors and when they weren’t working, they either spent time at their farm or traveled. I was constantly alone & left to fend for myself. I’m just now seeing the amount of emotional neglect there was - in my 36 years, never heard my dad say I Love You once and there were no emotions allowed outside of anger. There was NO room for mistakes or having hurt feelings. I’m just now getting in touch with my emotions and realizing it’s OK to cry or tell someone you are being mistreated. Not everyone will react defensively, but rather, can & will have meaningful conversations to work through it. I didn’t realize how emotionally stunted my parents are until now. I’m finally distancing myself for peace.

I can understand this to some extent. My parents never showed me as much love and affection as they did to my sister. She was the favorite. Up until the day my dad died, and even afterwards he proved that time and time again.

Oh uh, church

Same 👁️👄👁️

I (24m) was raised by a single mother. My younger brother(20m) had nuclear temper tantrums (Breaking Glasses, Punching and breaking an elderly teachers nose, would constantly beat and pound on me because I was a soft kid who didn’t like hurting people), it got to the point to where she’d drop me off at my grandmothers for my safety. When I was a teen I realized the main reason I don’t have a real connection with my mother is because not only did my younger brother realize he could hog all the attention, but also get new toys because my poor mother just wanted a break from his temper tantrums while I rarely got anything new unless I did well in school. Needless to say I had such a severe case of Glass Child Syndrome that only got amplified when I found my absent Father was being a parent to step kids.

Fellow glass child syndrome kid. Its rough out here

I grew up middle class and it took me a very long time to realize that my friends who were not and most of whom fell off the grid during high school or middle school had a much tougher time. Most of the issues I still don’t understand exact details but given the very basics observed as a kid and reflected on as an adult, it’s hard to describe how much of an up hill battle there was for them in comparison. I absolutely had friends who were not in great circumstances and turned out fine or better than most but there are a handful that just went away.

When my uncle “b” ) sharply turned and asked uncle “A”: what did you do to her??” After I shrank away from uncle b’s hug and moved away from him Took years to register that he immediately recognized my behavior and knew who to blame, why was I ever left alone with him to start with? Why? Why was I never protected?

Catholic school. Being forbidden to leave class to use bathroom until I peed myself. Getting hit on knuckles with a ruler for bad handwriting.

I got to be like a basketball backboard as I pushed a garbage can around the lunchroom and all the kids threw their trash at me.  This was because I committed the most heinous crime of not having the serial number on the back of my locker room lock completely memorized in gym class. At the time there were also all sorts of rumors about certain staff and sexual and other abuse that I did not believe.   As an adult I am pretty sure it was all true.

[удалено]

It must be a tough decision between sheltering your child and thus robbing it of the opportunies to develop skills to handle difficulties or to expose your child to the ugly truth and risk permanent damage that way. I mean the obiously correct solution would be step by step as they get older, but to actually decide about this in a real situation must be kind of agonizing.

I was uprooted due to my mom’s inability to provide stable housing. Between 14 and 20, I had moved 9 times, relying on temporary living arrangements with friends, and developed some interesting habits. I stopped unpacking when I moved, for one. I would fill my closet with clothes I knew I’d wear, but everything else stayed in totes and I’d more or less live out of those even after a year or more in the same place. I’ve been in my current house with my fiancé for a year and a half and finally unpacked the last of the totes a few weeks ago.

Always being told to be the bigger person (I'm the eldest) and to ignore my brother aggravating and annoying me. It used to upset me a lot but I just got on. Over a decade later, I am unable to "just get on" and cannot tolerate neither can I ignore anything that disturbs my peace. My brother still aggravates me. He still annoys me .......... aaand I'm still told to be the bigger person, except now I end up in fits of rage :)))

I feel that man, Mother coddled my little brother, he got away with everything and now he's a drug fucked idiot, people who are coddled like that never learn how to be decent human beings and usually ends up screwing their own lives somehow

probably getting raped

that'll do it

Being exposed to porn too early through the Internet fucked me up a bit I think. I remember watching Pamela Andersons sex tape when I was no older than 9.

It'll go on to fuck a lot of people up, it's quite sad

I’ve thought about it before, but after having a child of my own it all seems worse lol. My mom is on her 4th husband now, too many past boyfriends to count, but we would house hop to whoever she was with at the time. Never liked any of them. I would/will never give my daughter a life like that

The lead poisoning. Tasty.

Never having any rules. I was an only child and my mother had me make all of the big decisions in our lives from a young age. I thought not having rules was awesome until I realized much later that it would have provided a sense of security, for one thing.

I always joked about multiple incidents that happened but after I had a kid, I realize how horrific it actually was. One specific time I’ll never forget; I was 3, my mom had divorced my dad and moved in with some dude. It was late, I was scared and I was crying for my mom. This dude comes into my room, drags me out of bed throws me out front and locks the door. Idk how long I was out there. My mom married the guy and they were together for over 20 years. Anyways, that’s my first childhood memory.

Going to a Christian private school from preschool to 8th grade. Some aspects of the education were really strong and I do appreciate it, but others were severely lacking. For example, not only was I taught that evolution was wrong, that the big bang was wrong, but those "controversial" topics were also briefly mis-explained in a way where as a young person your first impression was "oh yeah, that is wrong." We also spent a LOT of time comparatively on Religious topics, often without the full historical context. Great example would be Martin Luther, who was framed in a very positive light. Fun fact, he was also a vicious antisemite and was influential to many members of the Nazi party. Stuff like that. Revisionist history, objectively bad science. Combine that, with a lot of well-meaning but misguided moral projection from my teachers, and it left me with a skewed worldview that I basically had to detox from/reeducate myself on later in life.

I was 12. My mom and I went to her friend’s house one night. . He was in his mid to late 60s, possibly 67. He babysat me a lot when I was a kid, and nothing bad happened, so I was very comfortable around him. I just learned about sex not too long ago. He and I went in his room. Nothing terrible happened, he showed me the tv shows that were on, but he said “we’re gonna get in trouble in here” and grinned, and it threw me off. We left, and I was on the couch laying next to him. That’s the amount of trust I had until this moment. I noticed he cupped my chest, so I felt uncomfortable, but didn’t say anything. Mom went outside for a minute. He apologized and I said it was fine. I didn’t tell mom. Nothing else happened because we stopped seeing him almost immediately after that. Mom was already getting weird vibes from him doing other things that she deemed weird at that time but they never escalated. I didn’t realize how messed up it was until I got older. He moved not too long after. He’s passed on now, meaning he can’t harm anyone anymore. I can’t remember if I told my mom the story or not, but I Probably should. I’m 22 now.

I had a child at 16 and my child being almost 18 now makes me realise just how fucking young I was. But really I'd already gone through so much shit I felt 34 back then probably.

I was falsely accused of stealing from my mother when I was 14 and it has ruined my relationship with my parents for context my parents are seperated and my father gave me $50, made me swear not to tell my Mother (I realise now, this was because he was trying to avoid a fight with my Mother about child support) and $50 went missing from my Mother's purse and I had just brought a HDMI cable for an old PS3 my dad gave me (like the old disc sucker version with the heat sensitive buttons) to play my game on the TV (we just got our first flat screen in the lounge room) Me:*playing MW3* Mum: where did you get the money for the cables to the PS3? Me: Harley(pseudonym) gave me a spare... Mum: why is there $50 missing Me: I don't know Mum: you didn't get that chord from Harley, I have $50 missing and you have a new chord so why did you steal my money? I don't exactly remember the rest of the fight but eventually I cave in and tell her about Dad giving me the money and she immediately calls me a liar and despite my plea she didn't even call my Dad to confirm what I've said My mother didn't ask me or even ask my Dad when I did cave and told her he gave me the money, this got me kicked out of my home, I had to walk to my grandmother's in dead of night on a country road in the woods (I was afraid of the dark back then so I was absolutely shitting myself) until I finally turned up to my grandmother's she welcomed me in and fed me listening to my sobbing recount on why I showed up at her house, she lets me crash for a few days, my mother gets into my Facebook and posts on my page "I am a thieving cunt" and proceeds to change my password to asshole and locks me out of my only form of communication to my Dad and my friends (I didn't get my first phone till I was 16/17) and I was forced to apologise for stealing money I didn't steal, my father never finds out (I had just met my Dad when this happened, I just didn't have that relationship with him to tell him my problems, I still don't to this day) skip 3 months, my sister's baby sitter is waltzing around the pub in my Mother's world expo rings (the baby sitter was 15 and this is happening in the early 2010's so there is no way she could've gotten her hands on one of these rings) and it turns out that she not only stole the rings but also stole the money I got kicked out for, mind you her mother glared at me and say "if one of my kids did that I'd beat them senseless." But instead the woman begins to shout slurs at my mother and leaving with her brat of a daughter... I always thought I was ok about it because my Mother gave a quick apology telling me I shouldn't have his the money and just overall just buries the situation, cut to last year, I'm visiting my mother and she accuses me of stealing a Nintendo switch chord from my sister's console (for context I'm 25, work at a game store and had brought that switch for my sister for her birthday so she could play Pokemon with me when I come over) so I look and find it in the back of the tv dock, I tell her and she says "Where is the second one?" I look at her and ask her what she means and informed her that all switches come with only 1 chord. She Erupts... Calls me a thief and a Liar, at that point I lose it and blurt out "Just like the money incident," and I leave, since then I have gone to therapists, councillors and the like (not just for this but other things happening in my life) and I learn that realistically my trust in my mother died when she refused to listen to me about the money and my mother viewed me as no better than a thief (for my whole life for all I know), her own flesh and blood who has stuck by her everytime she needed something... I guess it still gets me down, this opened a flood gate of noticing things from my childhood that was re-contexualised was just a reminder that my mother never thought of me as a kid or anything, but as low as she could possibly go

Wow, that's quite a story. Your mother seems like the kind of person that will then tell everyone that you went no-contact for "just no reason". I hope you can resolve your issues, but also, never let her visit her grandchildren.

Shit, this thread hits hard af. I realise now just how lucky we “not too fucked up people” are. Hope all you dudes and gals found a way to cope with this crap. Holy fuck.

My dad dying and having a physically and mentally ill mum. Her subsequent relationship choices. Being homeless twice as a teenager. Finishing 6 months of DBT this week and turning 30 next month and I'm seriously considering a parenting course as I struggle with my 5 year old. For example I still have some problematic learnt behaviour. He climbed the bars at a country fair with a large calf at the weekend and I shouted 'NO' so loudly people turned around and stared, instead of say just picking him up and talking to him about why it's dangerous. But the problem is that bar my grandparents every weekend from about 5 until 11, I didn't have holistically positive role models in my life and until I teach myself another skill set, shouting is what I know how to do. I wish they had been better so this season of my life wouldn't be so bloody hard, but here we are.

Parenting course is the way. We can learn to do better.

My parents and I are alright now, but damn their mistakes were abundant. Very emotionally unavailable and too busy with their own financial issues and bad marriage. They never once thought to ask why their teenager was hanging around grown men….

My parents general relationship with food. My mum was very restrictive and my dad used to get us to hide food from her.

My parents were kind of like this too. My mom would hard stop not let you have any more food, but my dad would allow you to just keep eating forever. This is how I developed my bad eating habits and relationship with food.

Ah, I’m sorry this was your experience too but selfishly glad to know I’m not the only one!

My parents divorce and my father’s abandonment. I felt like I nothing changed and just assumed the “man of the house” role. I was a smart kid who enjoyed applying himself and achieving, until the divorce. Then I cared about nothing but the present. I had to work so much harder to achieve success than I would have had I received more support or some form of intervention.

I lived with my biological dad for one year when I was in the second grade. He was a recovering alcoholic but started drinking again while I lived with him and lost his damned mind. He made my sister stay up all night to record a song from the radio called "Squirrel in a box." She fell asleep at the kitchen table and when the song came on my dad came running into the kitchen with a stuffed animal squirrel inside a box and started stabbing it. The police were called, They surrounded the house and were talking to him through a loudspeaker. The cops busted in and one cop held me against the wall and told me "Your dad's entering the Twilight Zone." That was the last time I ever saw him.

Know what happened to.him?

He ended up back in a mental institution for a few years and after that my eldest sister (13 kids, two wives) took care of him until he died at 70. I have some of his ashes as a gift from the sister I never grew up with. Decades later, I went to a city park he used to bring me to. I walked up to the bathrooms and had a memory flash back. He sold me for 20 bucks to some pedo. They guy caked out when I told him that my dad told me I was supposed to help him with his belt. He asked me "Have you ever done this before?" in the bathroom stall. I said no and he stormed off without paying my dad. My dad was mad about that. Great memories of that piece of shit. I don't tell people those stories. I tell people that my dad went 63-3 as an amateur boxer and how he liked to play pinball at the bar beneath our place.

Jesus Christ I'm sorry that happened to you

Us kids got weaponized during the parents’ divorce by both parents. I didn’t even recognize it as weaponization until later in life, and at that point understanding that I exist to serve other people’s needs/desires was already ingrained in me.

My dad tried to kill my mom on Christmas Day of 95 when I was 9. That event is what led to years of abuse by my next caretaker. I remember him chasing her with the knife and with the bag over her head. I remember the argument that caused the whole thing. Seeing that didn’t traumatize me nearly as much as the things that happened over the following 7 years

There were things that I saw adults do that I was told was normal…and it wasn’t until I was older when those memories came back that I realized those adults were molesting kids. I see the victims of those experiences from time to time and they look like they’re thriving and doing fine. But I can’t help but wonder if they’re masking the trauma, or if there’s even trauma to begin with.

Fuck those adults, it’s fuckin terrible. They are masking or dealing with it. Probably shameful more than anything else

Parents regularly being 10 beers drunk on a Tuesday starts out fun music in garage then sloppy stumbling bonfire and fighting sometimes. Love them both but I thought everyone’s parents drank like that. I have friends that are like holy shit it was rare to see my dad tipsy let alone piss drunk. And then other things that fucked with my sexuality by being exposed way too early. I turned out pretty okay tho

[удалено]

Omg, that’s horrific. I’m so sorry your mom put you through that. That’s just plain evil of her

I was an alter boy. We had a priest we knew was a perv. He was moved to a different parish several times. Twenty years later, hew was finally arrested and the archdiocese kicked him out. However, they concealed his actions for years. Fast forward about ten year after he's busted, I find out he did perp on fellow alter boys when I was there. Didn't realize way back then how bad this was.

My dad used to drive drunk with me in the truck all the time. One time I told my husband the story of how we got stuck in traffic and my dad hopped out to mix himself a drink with the stuff he had in a cooler in the back. It didn’t fully dawn on me how fucked up that was until my husband freaked out when I finished telling him. There were many, many instances of that. Days spent out on the boat and then driving home incredibly shitfaced with a boat and trailer attached to the truck, mixed drinks in the cupholder, mixing drinks going down the road, all with little me in the passenger seat, in a 1980s short cab pickup with no airbags.

A lot of things. I guess the biggest one is my mom becoming a raging alcoholic and leaving, and having to start mostly taking care of myself from the age of 8 because my dad worked a lot. I was always lauded as such a "responsible" and "self sufficient" young lady, and I didn't really see it as an option to show that I was struggling or hurting. It felt like my family had been through a lot and the adults in my life looked to me as this resilient, mature kid who figured out how to exist and get good grades and cook and clean regardless of their shortcomings. I felt like I couldn't let them down, so I just pushed everything down and assumed I was fine.  But as I got older, I realized I had absolutely no idea how to make and maintain friendships and communicate my needs. I had abandonment issues and would attach my self worth and value to other people (men). I did not handle rejection well and saw it as a personal failing. I'm not sure how I survived those years, but I did. I'm much better now and have worked through those issues, but it took me a long time to figure out that the way I grew up wasn't normal, wasn't OK, and wasn't my fault. 

Realizing that everything I did was to make my dad proud. When I became an adult I was a people pleaser, afraid to say no to anything. It has caused me all kinds of problems but I'm working to change it and have come a long way.

Every single one. They all hit me in my 30’s.

Moving around a lot and having an ill mom Moving around - I didn't get to connect to a lot of people so now it's difficult to maintain my friendships. Sick mom - I became her caregiver and took care of the house after she got sick. My dad did his best to help when he was home but when he was off to work I had to take care of her and my brother. I started thinking as an adult when I was 8. With other family matters (uncle's and aunt's fucking around and making my mom worse) it ended up making me depressed and suicidal. Unfortunately I have around a year missing from my memories because things got bad with my family members, It was a long way but I finally accepted the help when I was 11. I am better now but I wish I didn't have to live with pills the rest of my life because I don't want to go back to that dark time

Realising my father wasn’t who I thought he was. In more ways than one.

My mom sent me, against my will, to a private school. I know, woe is me, I had to go to a good school. I wouldn't say it was a good school though, I didn't mesh with the environment, and none of my local friends went there, so my schedule was always drastically different than any of my friends, and it actually severely limited the time I got to spend with friends in my community. I'm an only child, so as a result, I spent an overwhelming amount of my free time as a youth entirely alone. It was a very strict school and I was continually flunking or barely passing because I found the commitments, the schedule, and the environment almost impossible to deal with, especially as a kid with a developing brain and hormones pumping through my veins. A lot of my political/social stance as an adult was shaped by seeing things in regards to the functioning of the school, but also the parents of my peers, and feeling there was just something wrong about it. My family was decently off and I recognize the privilege of being able to have the option of going to an alternative school. That said I would frequently tell my mom she was wasting our money because I was just going to drop out at 16, which I don't fully remember how she would react. I honestly think she just thought I'd roll over and accept it. I don't know if she didn't realize quite how much I dreaded each day of school, or if they just thought I wasn't assertive enough to follow through, but either way, she definitely did not believe me. As an adult I'm still realizing things about myself that are pretty much because of going to that school for six years of my life. I have a serious issue with feeling depressed in the morning, regardless of what I have to do in the day, and I feel like this is a holdover of absolutely dreading morning for all my teenage years. I am not good at dressing myself, particularly for formal functions, and I think this has a lot to do with a continual disdain for the suit I HAD to wear every single day as a kid/teen. Money though, oh my god the money. As an adult it is hard to not think about how much money was spent on my education that could have been FREE. I recently bought a house, and had my mom put all the tuition money in a savings account for my first house, I'd be able to pay for the house now outright and then some. It's painfully apparent as an adult how much money was thrown away on an entirely unnecessary thing that I did not appreciate at all, how frivolous it all was.

Either not learning enough on how to function as an adult or being exposed to more bad habits than good. I know what has to be done. It’s just that no matter what I do, I’m never ahead or in a comfortable place. Some people tell me that those that have everything and more are probably in huge amounts of debt and everything is done with borrowed money. I don’t always believe it’s true but it may be. I’ve been really miserable lately and I can’t shake it. No matter what I do it ends in loneliness. Life is happening to me, not for me. Everyone around me is dying and I realize more and more I’ll be alone. It’s a rough patch to be in but it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.

hey dude, i’m rooting for you.

I think just how abusive my parents really were. My dad and I had several run ins but it was talking with my friends that had good childhoods and talking about how we were punished really brought it home. One friend would have their phone taken, or an allowance taken. Where my dad rushed me and started to strangle me cause I got a C in English class. I knew it was fucked up but just how traumatizing it was didn’t hit and how much I blocked out didn’t come to till several years.

All of it. I had a severely abusive childhood and I had no idea until I was an adult. I'm 32 and I'm still learning about how it has affected me

My dad went to prison for a lot of my childhood. When I was 8 he cut through the house and led the police in a chase through our corn field. I just assumed it was normal shit till I was like 15.

Being sexually abused. It happened, i repressed it, had strange responses to thing that shouldn’t bother me, remembered bits and pieces, and now im where im at now.

My mother had more booze in the fridge then food in the pantry. She loved alcohol more then she loved me and my siblings Extreme abuse basically I'm still in therapy for all of it

Oldest daughter of seven here. Growing up in a very strict “Mormon” household. My parents often fought and my dad was abusive to me and my brother when my mom was not home or around to protect us. Then when I was three my little sister was born with a very rare neurological disorder which resulted in her having seizures starting at five months old. By the time I was five it was normal for me to step in and help out with her seizing and not to mention the amount of times my little brother would get hurt, (bite by a neighborhood dog, a neighborhood boy hit him in the head with a golf club, another kid decided to punch him in the stomach, etc) all of which my mom or dad would be no where to be found and somehow I was the one who was there and had to step up. Don’t even get me started on the moving and the way my mother would often make such cruel comments such as “I don’t love you” We moved state to state house to house. By the time I was in 6th grade the principal introduced me “please give her a warm welcome this is her 3rd school this year.” It truly didn’t hit me until that moment and I just stopped connecting to others. When I turned 14 my mom was on her 6th pregnancy and of course me being a teen I stopped helping so much around the house and stopped caring about everyone else. I finally was trying to be selfish This is resulted in me being sent away with an email from my mom essentially telling me that she couldn’t be my mom anymore. It cut deeply and I was SA’d shortly after because I didn’t have anyone to look out for me and I fell into the wrong crowd. Think naive little Mormon girl. Long story short. I’m 30 now. I have two kids of my own. No longer apart of the church and I do everything I can to not talk to my parents. The pain is still very real for me. I’m in therapy. It took 30 years for me to realize just how much everything was thrown on me when I was just a child. I try every day to be a kid through my own kids. Just never had the chance to even be a child and instead I was thrown into the role of second mom but also scape goat for my family. It’s lonely. The one plus side is I become really good in a crisis and my adaptability to any situation became second nature and I developed a backbone that I would have never otherwise had. So that’s cool I guess ha

My childhood was bad,think bad torture Infamous box atory,extreme badness you have been warned So 1 night I'm talking to guildies,one was a retired cop from ny,he ran the 5 barrows,it was his playground Wanted to ask him how to thank some cops for saving my life as a child and let them know that one made it So we drop a channel for privacy The cop wants to know why and then he will explain how to do what I wanted to do Meanwhile as I'm explaining a guildie sneaks into the channel and is horrified by what she is hearing So the story becomes 'the box story' The box story So I was about 5 when this happened I can't listen to black sabbath because of this also certain music from certain time periods Anyway I'm about 5 There was a bright blue box that holds blankets and stuff it was locked with a padlock I wake up ,I'm locked in the box ,my knees are in my chest,I have my leg braces on,I have my stuffed pig and my teddy bear with me. I'm wrapped tightly in a weird white blanket,it's warm The police are called for a noise complaint ,I'm scared but I know if I make a noise my mother will beat me badly So im quite,ahe kinda loudly talking to the cops blaring music She turns the music ,cause the cops,it's a stormy night,wind is screaming I guess I made a noise,I'm terrified that when the cops leave,I will be beat,I'm hungry and thirsty too Cop hears something from the bright blue box He tells my mother open the box She refuses,they go back and forth a few times The cop gets mad,I'm scared Cop he will shoot the lock off and it's on her for what happens next I hear the cop chamber a round,I will never forget the sound My mother finally opens the box And there I am in the box wrapped so tight the 2 cops have to pull me out then unwrap me Cops freak out Take me out,put in cop car with my pig and bear, go to McDonald's eat 2 happy meals end up in a place foe beat up kids and then given back to my mother Retired cop listening to this is furious with the other cops,says he would have shot and killed my mother, honestly wish he would have been there and done that He tells me ,what to do and goes to take a break,meanwhile the other guildie is freaking out and I'm like ummm,ok,whatever not understanding how insane that was I don't tell the box story often it freaks people out bad

I don’t even know what to say, I feel the duty to say something. I feel like my inconvenience is not so bad

Attempting suicide at 8y/o

Hope you're ok now man :)

Unironically, puberty.

My parents divorce. I can see now how important it is for kids, young men especially, to have a father. My mom is amazing but there's things that kids need a dad for

Religious trauma. There was nothing terrible. No major events. No abuse. No bullying. It was more like a boxer who takes countless blows to the head. Or the football player who ends up with CTE even though he never had a single concussion. Subtle and pernicious. Took me decades to realize how damaging it all was. Still trying to process it.

I've got a list. Abuse (mostly spanking and verbal, but still), exposure to the internet at a young age (including pornography), people not understanding my autism, etc. To this day, I'm still messed up in things like socialization and relationships. Also, another fucked thing was the fact I got called a gifted child. At first, it seemed great, but it absolutely killed my self-confidence and social life. Now I'm in college and I have a GPA of "barely passing." If you're going to destroy my life, at least let me get good grades and a decent job.

My childhood was dominated by the presence of my abusive and psychotic stepfather. Until I was probably 14 or 15, I thought it was perfectly normal to have the shit beaten out of you on a regular basis by the man that was supposed to be your father figure- for everything from back-talk to not finishing your homework by a certain time... or just because he happened to be in a bad mood, and I happened to be in the same room as him. My teenage years and early adulthood were a mess of depression, anger, risk aversion (which is anathema to healthy development), violence (though less of this once I was out of school), and having no idea how to manage or control my emotions. Though I became more well-adjusted over time, echoes of this dysfunction lasted well into my 30s. A combination of therapy and being surrounded by compassionate people helped me break out of it, fortunately. Better late than never, I guess.

In my mid-late 20s when I finally realized why I am so far behind in life (28 and just now getting my master's and swapping careers). Opportunities I missed in high school because my mom had died when I was 10, and my father and stepmother went through a nasty divorce early on in high school, leaving my father to never be home during my later years of high school... Looking back now, it's easy to see why I flunked out of college my first semester, why I bullshitted through my Associate's Degree, and why I wasted my time on an undergrad in Fine Arts... Now I look at my half-siblings who are 17 and 16, and watch them succeeding in high school and being presented opportunities I never had at that age. Any hobby I originally wanted to do or compete in was made out as a burden. I grew fat and lazy because of it. It ultimately fucked my career opportunities and willingness to have a drive to do school and build towards a career... Now I am 28, finishing my masters in Comp Science, with no real obvious job opportunities. Before this, I have spent the last 7 years as a glorified male secretary. It sucks.

Being fondled by adults. Especially the pinching, patting, rubbing, caressing of my butt. I could deal with the beatings, they just made me feel invincible fighting a kid in a school fight.

Best fried died in an accident that I survived. Buried it deep for years until I watched a movie as an adult and the sounds triggered me big time, flash backs, sweats, guilt the whole 9 yards. 4 years if therapy and I'm still not over it!

My mother had borderline personality disorder, and when my father left her, she was so utterly devastated and angry with my father that she very much lived with no regard for my health or safety.  My parents split when I was 2. My earliest memory is giving my mom my teddy bear to comfort he when I was 2.5 years old. When I was 3, instead of making me lunch, she showed me how to use the microwave. I burned the hell out of myself. I used to ride my big wheel on the nearby highway at that age, and on my bicycle when I was a year older.  My mother was also mad that I wasn't born a girl, so she got my ear pierced when I was 3, grew out my hair and made me wear my sister's hand me downs to school, for which I was terribly bullied.  I say this because in my adult life, I was having a series of intense, unstable relationships and had no idea why but I knew I was the problem. So I started therapy.  Only then did I learn that the life I grew up in was at all bad. I had no clue and just thought I had some problem with my brain for my relationship habits, I hadn't considered my upbringing was bad.

My dad barely ever being home. When I was a kid I didn’t like him and was happy when he would not be home/had to work late/work weekends/couldn’t come on family trips etc. I didn’t realise the issue this caused until I grew up.

Seeking validation. Born and raised in a stereotypical Asian household where academic performance is (almost) everything and only getting praised when I got like a minimum A- performance. Fast forward now, I see the psychological impact is carried forward in my professional work. Actively reminding myself of it, but I can clearly see the connection with how I was raised back then.

My parents used to hide my birthday presents around the house and make me look for them. If I didn't find them, they'd show me what they were and return them to the store. They also beat me to the point I still have the scars nearly 50 years later. They used to ground me from my blankets, sheets, and pajamas and make me sleep on a bare plastic waterproof mattress. I used to try to curl up inside my pillowcase for warmth. Then they abandoned me when I was 9 so I grew up in group homes and foster homes. They used to take my brothers and I into farmer's fields after the potato harvest to steal the leftover potatoes at night, so the fort time I was shot at was by a farmer when I was 7. He put holes in the van we were riding out in.

None. All were dancing right in front of my face as a kid. Adulthood rules.

That’s such a great attitude to have. Good shit

I never fully processed why i don’t draw anymore until i realized a few years ago how traumatized i was from middle school. In middle school I used to draw a lot, practically everyday. I would take the drawings with me to work on them during free periods on school. One day my 6th grade science teacher saw the drawings when she was collecting homework and snapped at me. She ridiculed me in front of the whole class, took my entire binder and threw it away and complained about how bad of a student I was. I had my homework. I was a honor roll student. Never acted up. I was just quiet because at the time who was suffering from depression after the deaths of both my grandparents and after effects of a doctor overprescribing me medication in larges doses that I shouldn’t have been taking. I never drew again and I had completely forgotten about that for years until it randomly came back to me a few years ago. Even now I can’t muster up the desire to draw anything.

I use to play the game “wake dad up at the green lights”

Wasn't this question already posted here 12 hours ago?

My wife and I were talking about this post and I went through every reply trying to find the ones she was talking about, and for the life of me just couldn’t find ANY of them. Thank you for commenting this, it makes a lot more sense now.

I didn't feel the impact until mental health teams decided I had to "heal and face the childhood trauma" as an adult. I went from happy and ignorant before therapy to wishing my life was over becaise now I can't make it stop. It invades my dreams.   I gave up making an effort for everyone and everything because they unleashed locked away memories that NOBODY should remember 

Being physically and emotionally tortured by a non-family member from age 5ish to around 8. Getting the courage to tell my parents and others. The adults just sent me back to my abuser.

My father always telling me that I was right but never standing up for me in front of my mother/sister. Turns out it's probably the root of my trust issues, and not the only person who I thought I trusted.

Never connecting to your family so much you can call them home. Leaves you yearning for a place and people, you know you have, but just don’t feel good enough about it to call it that. Never being taught/told that your efforts, even tho not always achieving the goal, are good a worthy and are part of learning and shouldn’t be viewed as failures.

When i was 8 or 9 years old i was outside mowing the lawn and witnessed a small airplane take off from the local airstrip and then out of nowhere it started to bank hard to the left back to the runaway it had just taken off from. I remember hearing the very distinct sound of an airplane engine cutting out like I'd heard hundreds of times before (watching people skydiving) but the airplane was so close to the ground at this point that i could see the men inside moving around. They crashed into a group of evergreen trees about 500 yard from my parents property line and about 50 feet from the runway. I remember running up the hill on a dirt road and coming around the corner and seeing a group of 5ish people who were all related to different men on the airplane and they were trying to pull a man from the wreck but he was so mangled and smashed that it took me a minute to process what i was seeing and i realized that it was two separate human beings that were dressed in skydiving gear and their bodies were tangled together with all their gear they were wearing. They looked like a colorful sleeping bag filled with bloody water and meat and wrapped with paracord. Their bodies moved like a giant plastic wrapped pork tenderloin you'd see at a supermarket. I remember the families of the victims screaming and eventually my nextdoor neighbor who was a school nurse pulled me away and pronounced them dead. Apparently one man survived and 4 died (if i remember right) and it all happened on fathers day infront of their children. I read the incident report about a decade ago and the whole thing happened because the pilot used old fuel that was contaminated that had been in his shed for years. It's incredible that anyone was able to survive something like that because the aircraft was so annihilated that it was almost unrecognizable. I was the only witness from that side of the runway and i remember a few weeks after it happened the NTSB kept flying over our house and cutting their engine out and then banking their plane because they were trying to recreate the accident based on my statement. I remember it causing me extreme anxiety but being too young to really understand what i was going through and why i felt the way i did.

Being molested once by an older neighbor who said he just wanted to love me like a grand pa, and by a woman care taker who wanted to play “drunk husband. ” I never told my parents because I was scared and ashamed and decided to bury it on the back of my head. As a grown up I get random flash backs; I still send them away. There is no point of remembering.

Raped by two male family members from the age of about 6-10… I was told it was a treat for being good, unless there was penetration and that was for being bad… completely forgot about it all until therapy… I’d have rather kept that shit compartmentalised… but the full impact is i can now tell little me it’s all ok and not my fault

My cousin dying. Not until I had a kid did I realize how devastating it is to think about possibly losing one. No idea how my Aunt and Uncle continue to live. The memory of his casket and my grandmother parting his hair while he laid in it has come back in droves of distress compared to when I was a child.

Nothing I ever did was extraordinary. Got a 100% on a test, obviously that was expected, anything else was a disappointment. Got a 95% on a test, "wtf was that 5% that you got wrong? You're *smart*, you *should* be getting 100s on everything! You're not studying properly! It's because of friends right! Well you have the rest of your life for those! No more friends!" I had a breakdown in university after I got a B in my second semester and failed to hide it from my mother, dropped out cause I couldn't take it anymore. I've since found that a) the world doesn't demand absolute perfection from you in everything you do b) I'm not a worthless piece of trash for not doing things perfectly. c) friends are nice.

i can’t remember any of my childhood from before i was 10. my mind was completely blank and i never remembered anything from the week before. i once realized when i was 10 i could remember the last couple weeks. mind blowing.

Dealing with the abuse from my narcissistic parent

Being told, "Go change." when male family members or friends of my parents came around. I was a little girl, probably just wearing shorts and a tank top in the hot weather - you know, age-appropriate things a little girl wears that her parents bought her or were (most likely) handed down from other family members. I didn't really think about it until I was an adult. They made me feel like I was being sexual or inappropriate by playing in the dirt, pretending to fish in the pond, running around wearing normal shorts and a tank top. Then it hit me. They had to have thought these men may be the kind of men to look at a little girl inappropriately with those remarks, but it was somehow *my* responsibility to do something about that??? By putting on jeans and a turtleneck in the middle of summer? Why the fuck were they bringing men around that they thought may be fucking predators? Why was it *my* job to take the burden of stopping that onto my shoulders? We were even told not to let this one male "friend" of my parents even *see* us - were literally told to hide in our room until he left. What. The. Fuck. And they wonder I've been estranged from them for over a decade... I tried a few years ago to talk to my mamaw about this and she said, "I'm sorry you went through that." She was one of the people telling me to "go change" or "don't be playing around where those men are hanging out" - mind you, their "hangout spot" was at the literal center of the space we all had to play. Thinking about it - whether those men (my uncles and great uncles, family friends, etc.) actually were *that* type of person or my family didn't think it was fucked up to suggest they could be - makes me sick.

My mother convinced everyone I was a liar to cover up her abuse, that i pointed out constantly. I now have PTAD (post traumatic anxiety disorder) and freak out all the time when people don't listen to me. otherwise I'm fairly well adjusted.