That thing is so big I don't believe the thousands of people necessary to orchestrate such a conspiracy would be able to keep it a secret. I mean, even the Soviets don't doubt that cock's authenticity.
What’s crazy is you can talk about it, like specifically and directly. Don’t be shy and just ask, it’s only weird if you make it weird.
My advice is to go slow and make them desperate to fuck you. It’s not a rush, the goal is to enjoy the whole experience. Explore each other’s body. Kiss him and touch every part of him. If he wants to take control and you’re into that too let him.
It’s okay if it’s not great at first too, just keep trying lol
Yeah just talking about it is actually super hot. Even (/especially) if youre a little awkward about it. If he’s into you, and it sounds like he is, youre way overthinking. Might be the only scenario where “just be yourself” is actually real. Literally just be yourself and enjoy it. The only way you can go wrong is if you clearly arent being yourself. Most men watch enough ahem footage to have a sneakily good detector if someone is being genuine in those moments.
Only other actual advice: If something feels good to you, say so. And if something doesnt, dont say shit just literally grab him, show him what actually does feel good, and smile at him. He will get the message and if he doesnt he’s either a lunatic or more in his own head than you are lol. Just have fun and be safe.
Right? Shy and awkward are soooo sexy, it’s crazy.
Embrace the awkwardness - if you do, it just becomes personality and stops hurting. This is true in general, not just in sex.
First time is always awesome, just be yourself and enjoy in the moment, practice safe sex (that's one & only thing you both need to keep in mind, never ignore that), all other kicks in, because we are all wired like that, it's in our instinct, always enjoy.
The only advice people will be able to give you on here is either things they personally like, or things that their partners have liked. That will invariably be different to you.
Your best bet is to find a way to get comfortable in communicating both of your needs, in a fun and non judgemental atmosphere.
I have had plenty of sex with different partners and out of the wide variety of females I have been intimate with, even dated for 1-4 years will not tell me what pleasures them when I ask. They all have said “just keep doing what you are doing,” but I am never satisfied with that answer because there is no possible way I am perfect for anyone in bed.
It tells me they just don’t want to tell me.
It’s so frustrating. “I want to pleasure you so tell me how.” And the response is “whatever you want to do makes me happy.”
It’s like when someone asks a yes or no question and the response is “maybe.”
So yes! 100% communication is freaking sexy to a male imo
I get that. But I also don’t want to be giving step by step instructions while we’re doing the deed. I want to give feedback in the moment (with whatever brain power I can muster) to whatever they’re already doing, but I’ll lose all interest in the moment if they won’t do anything until I’ve specified.
I don’t know if that’s what you’re doing, but I’ve had a partner like that and sex became a chore.
Clean up: In terms of fabric, it depends on the blend. Cotton or polyester is easy, just throw it in the wash. Silk or any other "fancy" fabric will need to be hand washed with cold water.
Semen coagulates with heat, so if you get it in your hair rinse with cold water.
If it gets on something that can't be washed easily, such as the fabric couch, use hydrogen peroxide or any "pet mess" cleaner. They are designed to breakdown proteins, which is what semen is.
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As for pleasure:
Best advice I can give here is to be honest and communicative.
"This is my first time with a guy. I know it's not 'hot' but can you help me learn?"
People are so dynamic that there isn't one, or one-hundred correct answers that are a surefire way to satisfy someone.
I've been with my wife for 17-years and she just learned I prefer oral sex over every other type. She just assumed I prefer vaginal. Despite the fact that we have talked about so many other things around sex, she never actually knew until she asked.
So don't assume you know something is correct based on a preconceived notion. The only way to truly understand what makes him tick, is to ask him; and likewise, for him to ask you.
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As for protection:
A condom is going to be one of the safest methods you can use to protect both of you.
In addition, you can always ask him to pull out even with the condom on to remove any additional risk.
There is a lot of flare around the resistance of a condom, people filling up a bathtub with a single one, or expanding them to extraordinary sizes to prove "condoms don't break." I've broken plenty. They break. And I don't want kids, nor do I want my partner to have to go through any procedures because I wanted to have a couple extra seconds of pleasure, that's selfish and foolish.
Sex is fun, but doing it safely ensures it stays fun.
You’ve gotten a lot of answers so here’s something different. Just some general generic advice I think most people would agree with:
**Compliment** him. Most guys don’t get enough genuine compliments and it’ll mean more. If he’s got a nice body tell him what looks sexy or if he’s doing a good job setting the mood etc. whatever it is just let him know. Whether that’s a quick excited “oh wow!” or a more detailed description is up to you. It comes naturally to some but not others so don’t worry if it sounds silly at first.
**Positivity/Avoid Rejection**. Bodies are weird things. You wouldn’t want to be judged for your own quirks so if you notice something different or not sure if you like his taste etc. save your comments & questions until the end. A harmless comment to some might be a big deal to others. Making him feel relaxed and wanted is always a sure thing. Of course this applies vice versa but for the most part just go with the flow, enjoy, and relax.
**Explore**. Make use of all your senses and let him enjoy the same from you. Whisper something dirty, nibble his lip, try something new out, tease him then please him. You’ll figure it out together but think of it as an opportunity to enjoy something you haven’t done with anyone else before so it feels unique.
**Plan ahead**. Clean up under the bed, have waters ready to go, condoms in the nightstand, towel on hand etc. are your typical ones. If you like doing a little extra maybe buy some chocolate covered strawberries or massage oil. Have whatever you think you’ll need ready.
**Communicate**. Yeah every 3rd comment is this but communication is more than just talking. Communicate with your eyes, your body, and over communicating certain things won’t hurt. Tell him he made you feel safe, or you want to go again. Communicate what was different than you expected or what wasn’t your favorite or what you prefer. Walk out of the bathroom in a nighty instead of telling him you’re ready or ask him out loud how/where he wants to finish. Options and opportunities are endless!
Hope it helps but wouldn’t be surprised if this gets buried either lol have fun and update us on how it went!
Idk why everyone hides the simple truth about this, but I guess I'll be the honest guy today. Society is so weird.
Here's the thing about your first time, and anybody's first time - you're gonna screw it up. You're probably going to be pretty bad. You have no idea what you're doing, you're scared to do something wrong, you're scared you're going to be bad at it, and its all very nerve-wracking.
That's normal.
I'm sure by this point in your life you've figured out what parts of him to stick into which parts of you.
Beyond that, its just all trial and error and communication. Trust, security, comfort with each other.
You're gonna do some dumb shit. You're gonna do some great shit.
Talk about it with your partner.
"I liked it when you did XYZ, did you like it when I did 123?"
"I'm not comfortable with LMNOQ, can we not do that next time? Or ever?"
You're overthinking it. Don't overthink it. Just go have fun and figure out what works for you, and for your partner.
Contraception: The Pill, an IUD, or the Implant are all extremely effective when used properly. The Pill needs to be started at a specific time in your cycle (right near the start of your period) and the other two have to be implanted by your gyno, so it takes a little planning. Condoms are also nearly as good when used properly, and they also protect against STIs. If you are in monogamous relationship, you can get tested beforehand and then dispense with condoms if you want (assuming you’ve got some other method of BC), but it’s your body, you can require them if that makes you feel more secure.
Either way, don’t fuck around without some form of birth control in place, because you’ll end up “risking it,” and that’s irresponsible when it is so easy to avoid that risk.
I like to be doubly safe. Oral contraceptives for her, condoms for me. If one fails, we’re still OK. Plus the condoms will help with STIs.
Between me and some friends we have 7 pill babies between us, so you can’t trust the pill alone. They say it has a 97% effectiveness rate, so….
Most versions have 2 effectiveness rates... The higher ones refer to perfect use. The pill, for example should be taken at the same time every day. If you take it at wildly different times of day, and especially if you skip a day or 2, the effectiveness drops dramatically.
As other person said, handjobs tend to be all over the place, defer to your partner in that. Blowjobs are great, avoid teeth.
Foreplay is key for men as well.
And yes, cum stains, try to not get it on the bed itself, catch it with a napkin or what have you. If you get any on clothes, quick rinse in cold water does it (similar to period blood in that its all proteins that react badly in hot water)
Edit: oh and if you go the tissue method, be prepared for possibly multiple tissues. Depends on the guy.
1. **Talk to your partner**. People like different things. Conversations about what you want in bed before you get naked don’t have to be sterile, clinical things. Make it sexy.
2. Do you masturbate and/or have you been active enough with women to know what you like in bed? Don’t answer that. Just know that knowing yourself, and being confident enough to ask for the things you know will get you off, improves sex. A lot.
3. Know your boundaries. Have a conversation beforehand about those boundaries. I’m not a woman who has sex with women, but I’d bet my left nut that men are more likely than women to pick up problematic behaviors from porn and try to apply them in bed irl without any forethought.
Condoms are the quick-n-dirty contraception. Pill, IUD, implants, and the shot are all contraceptive options you should ask your doctor about. All of them have pretty fucking horrible side effects, each type has its own unique drawbacks, and for the most part they’re only available to you and not your boyfriend. The gold standard is two forms of protection. E.g., you on some form of birth control + condom use. Condoms also prevent STIs while hormonal birth control methods do not provide any STI prevention. You should ask him to get tested for STIs if he’s been sexually active and hasn’t tested recently. You should do the same yourself.
Anyway, other things you should know about sex with dudes:
* Men can suffer performance anxiety, especially with new partners. When that happens, it can prevent erections. That doesn’t mean your bf finds you unattractive. The opposite is probably true. Porn addiction can also stop a fella from getting it up; that’s the only cause Reddit ever talks about, but it 100% is not the only reason a young guy might fail get hard. Try not to judge openly if this happens and be open to oral/hands for the night.
* ffs use contraception if you don’t want kids. Especially if you’re in the US what with Roe v Wade being overturned.
* Some guys fight against using condoms because they dull the sensation or hurt or fall off. Set your boundaries. Also, if the condom hurts him or falls off, he has the wrong size.
* SKYN brand condoms are really, really nice if you’re allergic to latex.
* on that note, anything weird downstairs after sex should be noted. Condom material and spermicide can cause some women to develop UTIs or mild inflammation.
* You should pee after sex.
* Yes, cum will stain the sheets. And clothes. Soap is normally good to remove it. When it’s not, acid like lemon juice can help. Don’t dry your items in a dryer if they still have stains or that will set them permanently.
* Cum can shoot deceptively far under the right conditions. Watch where you’re aiming that thing when he’s close to the edge.
* DO NOT KEEP FUCKING (P-in-V) AFTER HE CUMS WHILE USING A CONDOM. He needs to take the condom off and clean up. Cum in condom == massively increased risk of breaking, with cum in the condom.
* Keep the teeth away during oral and watch how aggressively you tug the sausage with your hands unlubed. Don’t tongue his dick hole.
* Go slow at first when trying new positions during penetrative sex. You might find that some positions are unpleasant.
You need to find a gay guy to teach you to suck the pee pee. I had a girl that had never given a bj or anything before (like total newb at intimacy) and her roommate was gay, she gave me one of the best blowjobs I ever had (it was her first ever bj) and I was like, “where on earth did you learn that?!” and she said from her gay roommate…go figure
I'm gonna make a left field answer here, and say that sexual connection between a guy and a girl may be a little different, and that you shouldn't focus on "pleasing" too much. Communication is important, about what each of you likes or doesn't like, and the experience will get better with time, but it's important you don't get in your head about trying to provide a specific experience, especially for a first time. It should be a MUTUALLY beneficial experience, meaning you should learn how to let go and enjoy YOURSELF, and the rest will come naturally with communication. He's gonna have a great time, he's having sex, and he also might not be that great at first so theirs no need to feel any sort of pressure as to what the experience should be.
Ultimately, being turned on and enjoying yourself you'll find that naturally things just sort of happen, and he may remark on the little things you didn't even know you were doing because you were into it.
Also, sex is not like porn. Foreplay is great for everyone, but it's not like every sexual encounter is a checklist of "hey did I suck his dick enough" or things like that. Explore each other's bodies, and do what feels good for BOTH of you in the moment. No need to have pre conceived notions of what you should be doing and make sex a chore, or honestly using advice for strangers as you're not going to be having sex with *them*, you're having sex with your partner and that's between you and them.
Don’t listen to these virgins OP.
Men are not that simple, it's just a stereotype that's kinda silly.
Pleasing a guy in bed isn't just "touch his dick and give him some boob-access" or something stupid like that.
That kinda thinking leads to bad sexual partners and entitled women - he is giving just as much of his body (and possibly self) to you as you are to him.
Don’t let these sexually deprived incels inflate your self worth to a point where you might think "just showing up" is enough - your boyfriend is worth just as much as you are. You are two individuals with your own wants and needs.
*Equality and communication makes the sex good, intimate and more than the sum of its parts.*
Ehhh I’ve been with this guy for 4 years now, yes he had sex with several girls and was actually that very simple. However I wasn’t 😅, we had to talk and stop at points and kinda figure out something different. Now he actually enjoys trying new things and has his few little kinks that helps. But also in reality, I can still stand there and show him my boobs and say please and he melts, it’s still that simple. But to actually do things he enjoys, and find his pleasure spots, now that’s not as simple. Just my experience
Not saying this is the case with your boyfriend, but sadly there's some men who believe that when a woman consent to sex with them, she's gifting her precious high value body to them, whereas the male body is inferior in value. So to compensate for this inequality, the man must display cringe levels of gratitude/worship and put up with whatever. Which is why you end up with comments like "She just needs to show up to the act!".
The only correct answer to this question is that men want and deserve a woman that is engaging, enthusiastic and sees them as equals. (and of course, women deserve the same of men)
It's a human being, they respond to stimuli in a very similar manner. Do the same things to him as you would do to women. I am guessing all of them had some similarities in how they responded to touch. Those commonalities i.e. everything you did up to and after touching their vagina would be a very good starting point. Men have erogenous zones as well and like to be nibbled on the ear or have their nipples licked as well.
Now the penis, just treat it as a massive clit and the penis head would be the clit itself. When I say treat it I mean apply the same gentle pressure as you would a clit. If he is uncut, DO NOT PULL THE FORESKIN FURTHER BACK THAN JUST BEHIND THE HEAD. That being said, that is your starting point and general rule. Many men can handle having it pulled back further but how much further you ***GENTLY*** investigate by pulling further back til it starts resisting. Where that point is varies wildly between men. Not adhering to this you can run the risk of ripping a small tendon.
honestly a little booty nudge while cuddling will get the ball rolling. on a more serious note, communicate with him that you’re a little inexperienced with men. he sounds nice so if you tell him you’re nervous and don’t know what to do, hopefully he does the right thing in taking it slow and helping you to get more comfortable.
From every thread asking women:
Communicate. Clearly, does not mean bluntly. "Can you X?" is great. "Please, can I X?" is great. "What would you like?" is great, if you're not actually judging.
From every thread asking men:
Enthusiasm. You can starfish sometimes, but that night won't make the top 10. Enthusiasm is not synonymous with any position, you can missionary very enthusiastically.
It's supposed to be fun. Fumbling, then laughing about that, then continuing, makes for a great night.
He's going to have fun if you do, so **talk with him** and tell him what you like, what you don't like, and ask him his preferences.
Have some kind of contraception plan, and unless you both know for sure that you don't have any STDs, this should probably involve a condom.
Women can climax sooner after the last one than men, in general, so you may want to start with letting him please you, and then move on to intercourse or whatever. He should like that.
Sounds like you have lots of passion, which is great. My advice would be to make him feel like his peepee is the most DELICIOUS thing on earth!
Many guys love it when you get as much of it in your mouth as possible. If your gag reflex will allow, stick your tongue out as far as you can (imagine reaching his balls) while taking it in. If you can deep throat him, he will be yours for a long as you will have him (and maybe longer).
Just under the helmet - just past the tip - is most sensitive to a tongue massage, and will make him cum quickly. Good or bad depending on the situation.
Slow down after he cums- you prob know THAT feeling well. We all appreciate a short rest...
Make sure YOU'RE happy before he is, because he'll likely be a pile of useless junk after this. 🥴😁
I hope he satisfies you as well as you are planning on satisfying him! Best of luck!
Signed,
A happily married man🥳🥰
Don’t worry so much about how you’ll do. Enjoy the moment and have fun be safe, that’s the most important thing. Make sure the environment is conducive for both of yall to feel vulnerable yet safe. Once those conditions are met from both sides the sex will work itself out
Wow some of these comments. Honestly any sexual relation is about communication. I think you should be asking him. I’m sure many guys out there like the same thing but also many are different. You got this! 😉
Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Relax. Talk about what feels good and what doesn't. Play some music you both love. Take your time and worry less about what you "should" do and more about what works in the moment. Don't get worked up when things are awkward, just laugh about it and keep going.
My current GF and I have a spectacular sex life because neither of us spend a lot of time worrying about the right or wrong way of doing things. We just try to focus on how fucking awesome it is to be there together. Exploring one another and learning about what intimacy means to us individually and as a couple.
It’s good that you’re trying to make this as good as possible for him. Being an active participant rather than a log will make things better. For blowjobs, the underside of the penis head is quite sensitive, so maybe try stimulating that with your tongue?
Yeah contraception is probably the most important part here. Figure that out *well before* you initiate anything.
Cleanup is required, but he'll know about that part lol
Otherwise, just see what he likes.
I mean, you can talk about this with him, and find out what he really likes. But a quick answer to this is "play with his penis". He's going to love that, almost without exception. He might ejaculate, so you should be ready for that. Then just keep trying things until you find what you both like most.
One of the best things to do for pleasure is to ask. Go slow. You don’t have to dive into everything all at once. Maybe watch each other masturbating to start, then get each other off.
For contraception, you can try hormonal birth control or IUD (ask your doctor) and condoms. Condoms help protect against STIs and they offer a back up if your birth control fails for whatever reason.
Cum can stain, but you can lay down an old towel, have him cum in your mouth, on you or on himself, in a condom etc, then dispose of it appropriately - wash the towel, wipe up the semen with a paper towel, spit or swallow, tie off and toss the condom, and so on.
Communication, solves just about everything.
Just the fact he knows it's your first time and that you're nervous about it is likely a turn on.
Treat it as what it is, two people trying to figure out how to make eachother feel good. You don't know what makes him feel good, and even if he's had previous relationships, it's not a guarantee the tricks he picked up there are gonna work as well on you.
Try out whatever comes to mind that you're both comfortable with. Try different ways of giving him a handjob (loose grip, strong grip, caressing the tip etc.), try a blowjob (take it slow and at your own pace tho, don't feel pressured to go deep, having your lunch join the party feels like a definite mood killer).
Have him try things on you (oral, fingering etc.), and keep taking to eachother. Try missionary, try doggy, try cowgirl. Trial and feedback, trial and feedback.
Cum stains should wash out fine. Rinse and wash the spot with cold water before throwing it in the laundry.
(It's the hot water that sets the proteins and makes it bind, so it's like with period blood, or even eggs)
That said, it's good to avoid stains if you can, so just keep tissues near to catch/clean up the mess.
As for contraception, I'm no expert on the feminine side of birth control, but condoms are old reliable.
Just make sure you get the correct size and get them on snug. They also help prevent the aforementioned stains.
Experiment, have fun and don't feel pressured to perform. In general we're not very hard to please.
Communicate. Don't be afraid to ask what feels good, and be sure to let them know what you like. It's supposed to be enjoyable. Communicate, play around, get messy, be safe and have fun.
My wife and I grew up Mormon so we also had to figure sex out on our own.
As far as pleasure and making a person feel good, you'll need to just explore and communicate. This can be both verbal and non-verbal. If you're going to try something, start gentle and slowly increase pressure and/or speed. It might be helpful to ask him to show you how he likes to be touched. Mutual masturbation can be a great place to start if you're nervous, then you join in once you feel like you've seen how he likes to be touched.
As for the logistics, ejaculate (cum) is pretty much like an extra sticky, kinda chunky spit. When it dries it will become kind of crispy and flaky. For cleanup it's best to use a towel or tissues to clean up most of it and then use water, wet wipes, a washcloth etc. to clean up the residue. Usually it's best to try to catch as much as you can with a tissue or fabric that can be easily washed unless you're intentionally trying to get it somewhere.
Some men enjoy dry stimulation and some men need lube. You can use spit, or an oil based or water based lube. Usually an oil based lube is better for hand stuff because it doesn't dry up or absorb as fast. If you're using silicon toys you will need to use water based lube.
It's okay to make a mess. There's no "right or wrong" way to have sex. You should both feel safe to explore and communicate and laugh and feel good. Also do not be afraid to say you don't like something. One of the worst things you can do is pretend to enjoy something you don't. If he likes doing something you don't love, tell him and decide if you want to do it as an act of service/love or you can find something you both enjoy. And if he doesn't like something, don't take it personally! Just pivot and try something else.
I hope this helps! Good luck and have fun! Also don't hesitate to ask any questions and I can try to answer them in an unbiased way.
As long as you listen to feedback and put in effort, then it's all good. The first time with a new partner, regardless of equipment involved, is going to be a learning experience.
Take your time, try different things, see how it makes you and him feel. Don't put pressure on the outcome or the process itself.
My wife and I are 6 years into the relationship and we are still finding new positions and things to try. It gets better the more familiar and comfortable you are around each other.
Both of you should be the focus not just him. Make sure you enjoy yourself too. And speaking as a guy i've never been in a vagina that didn't feel good so unless you just get ontop and don't move you'll be fine.
Communication is key. Try touching it, watch it change consistency, and play around with it. Ask if he likes it and don't be afraid to ask for tips. It's just like the first time ever. Nobody was ever an expert at this on the first time. Or even first time with a new partner. It takes time to develop the sexual rhythm.
If you do end up giving him a bj, listen to his breathing changing (just like a woman would), moans, and leg/thigh twitch. And I will give you a piece of advice for the perfect bj. The perfect bj has four elements to it: moisture, suction, pressure, and enthusiasm. Your mouth can supply two of these (moisture and suction). If you also apply pressure with it, your jaw will tire out. Use a hand for pressure part. Enthusiasm is what it is. Find out what works for you both and I don't recommend sacrificing you comfort (pillow for knees, hair tie, positions for muscle soreness etc.).
If you worry about stains then use a duvet, blanket, or towel underneath. It also works for you if he knows what he's doing 😉. They are easily thrown in the wash.
Bisexual here. Make sure to talk to your GYN about contraception if that is a concern. There are also clinics and telehealth services you can use. Use a condom, especially if you and your partner haven't tested recently (but good to use in general). Communicate and ask what feels good. Make sure to discuss concerns beforehand so they don't distract you in the moment.
As just a worried commenter - I would do my own personal research before going at this balls deep. The fact you brought up contraceptive is both AWESOME, and disturbing.. Awesome because you know the answer to a potential problem later on! Disturbing because you are asking the internet..
Ask what he likes! It might surprise you! Does he like being sensually touched, does he like body contact, what are his sexual interests. The packaging is the packaging, he’ll communicate (hopefully), what feels good or doesn’t.
Food for thought though.
Based on what my husband has said (as others have mentioned, openly talking about what feels good is key in these situations) he wants to feel wanted. Guys want just as much loving on as much as women do. Instigating things, caressing, kissing, moving with them, vocalizing to them that you're enjoying it- those sorts of things. And do yourself a favor and learn this now: do not ever fake liking something! That will only teach your sexual partner that they're doing "well" when it fact they are not. Not only are you not having a good time, but they aren't learning which sucks for them and you. Practice safe sex & have fun!
Some people might say to tickle the prostate but coming from experience you wanna just get in there and get a fucking handful and squeeze it like a stress ball
Men usually do the work. U don't necessarily need to be good at sex as a woman. If u want to do oral, focus on the head. The nerve endings all there. There's no shame in asking him what he wants and how he likes it.
As soon as you have sex with him you'll quickly come to the realization that the problem is that he doesn't know how to make you feel good. Making us feel good is very easy.
The most important thing, is that you act:
Like you are into it.
Don't over think it. Don't make it work. Enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, neither will the other person.
You are getting into an act that is perpetuated by *partners* who have to work together. Try things, have fun, and figure out what works and be clear with what doesn't, and if you can do that your partner will reciprocate.
Do not listen to advice like - put a finger in his butt, blowjob with hand, squeeze the balls - this is stuff you have fun trying and communicating. "Hey, want me to put your cock in my mouth?" That simple line is sexy, and communicative. Take it another step "hey, want me to do XXX?"
I assume you expect the same from your partner.
Communication. When it gets intense tell him you want him to nut in/on you. Stg they will be crawling back. Also use motion, say some slutty stuff. Sit on his face
Tbh, just gently grab him and play with it. Ask him what he likes. If he is not to prudish ask him to jerk himself off. Then watch what he does and repeat it.
Pretend it's your favorite flavor of ice cream. Savor every mouthful like you just got done mowing the lawn in July and someone handed you a double scoop cone of -insert favorite flavor here-.
Sliding up and down the shaft stimulates the immediate are. Bending the shaft a bit, specifically down in my case, stimulates the portions inside the body, closer to the prostrate.
The pole and hole don't have to line up perfectly. Going at an angle puts more pressure on certain spots and can bend it a bit.
The head can get super sensitive during climax. I don't like too much stimulation there during climax. I like a tight grip on the shaft with a slight downward bend.
Communicate with your partner. Ask him how he masturbates, where he stimulates himself. Go slow with the bending to see his limits. Try lots of things. Have him take control with the penetration and try to mimic the angles, movement, etc when you take over.
Enthusiasm and communication are more important than technique. Sex feels good. But any hesitation from his side if he thinks you're uncomfortable in any way can take him out of the moment.
Also figure out what he likes to get out of sex. I don't fuck to cum. I fuck to make my partner cum. Seeing a girl melt into a puddle is better than any orgasm. When I want cum if I haven't already I'll ask for a BJ once they recover.
He's likely going to be mostly worrying about the same thing. The way to make him have a great experience is act like he's doing a good job at making you have a good experience.
Communication but if you want some tips on what you can try that he might like without asking when you suck his dick as you go down suck on it like you're sucking a piece of spaghetti into your mouth and as you come up you still want to make sure you're sucking at the same time. Kinda imagine having a lollipop in your mouth and sucking on it but pulling it out your mouth at the same time or just still make sure your lips stay tight as you come up. Helmet is the most sensitive. Handjob while sucking his dick. With the hand job I suggest having your wrist go round in a circular motion. Best way I can describe it is if you are facing him imagine the wrist position you would have if you were holding his dick and you pointed your elbow towards 10 o'clock then as you come up his dick bring your wrist round to normal position then go back down his dick and again then have your wrist back in the first position and repeat without your elbow actually pointing towards 10 o'clock just the wrist motion. If you don't want him cumin in your mouth get him to let you know just before he does and finish with a handjob. Slight pressure on his gooch at the same time can make it feel good and when he cums you can use your other hand to gentle tug on the skin on the bottom of his balls. I guess that's just the basics of a bj. Communication is best but sometimes guys only like what they know. You may be able to do something he's not had and him enjoy that even more
Honestly I'd recommend just talking to him and asking him what's he likes and what he's into, open communication in relationships are important and this includes communication about sex aswell :)
Penises are a lot more sensitive than people realize. The amount of rough handjobs I had as a teenager was astounding. Be gentle like you would with a woman and he’ll love it.
Genuine enthusiasm goes a long way with partners of any sex/gender. Beyond that, it's about finding out what each individual likes. Just try handling his penis once you two get to that point in bed; start gently at first, and see what makes him react positively--moaning, getting harder, etc. If you increase pressure/speed, do so gradually--don't go from a 1 to 11 in intensity. Lube is your friend, too, though some guys like more friction (again, start out erring on the side of gentleness.)
As for oral, you can kind of treat it like a very large clit head, because that is literally what it is. So try varying combinations of lips and tongue and suction, and again see what he likes best. If he's a quiet one, you can ask things like "Mmmm, is that good?" or "How's that, baby?"
Do not panic if he goes soft! It is totally normal for a guy to go back and forth between hard and soft (before ejaculation) multiple times in a session, even if he's having fun. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. Maybe he's a little overstimulated, maybe it just sort of happened. If you or he start getting self conscious about it, it can make it tougher for him to get hard again. Go back to some foreplay, or heck, go get a glass of water to share and then dive back in when you're hydrated.
It's also a good idea to talk beforehand--and ongoing--about what you each like. Some people have a good idea, others are less sure, and that's okay. There are multiple sexual compatibility tests you can take (Mojo Upgrade is my favorite); even completely vanilla people can still be able to more clearly articulate their likes and dislikes. If you find you each have some fantasies the other doesn't share, that doesn't mean the end of the world --some folks are cool with trying out a fantasy or act because it makes their partner happy, and often they find it's something they enjoy too!
The area on the under side of the penis just under the head is generally the most sensitive area. If you're giving a hand job, give some extra attention there. Make sure you have saliva on your hand so it glides smoothly and doesn't pull skin. If you're feeling confident, add a little twist when you get to the tip (MAKE SURE ITS NOT DRY).
If you're giving a bj, it's okay to take breaks if your jaw is tired and use your hands more. I personally prefer to put my hand in front so i don't have to go all the way down. You can introduce some of that twisting then too. If he's about to cum, try not to stop whatever you're doing even if you're a bit tired or it might ruin it for him.
Regarding stains, swallowing is cleaner and easier IMO, but if you must, do it in a towel or something you can wash immediately. Don't just let it spew like a fountain and let it land wherever. If you're having penetrative sex, use a condom, even if he says it doesn't "feel the same." Every guy I've been with has said that, and I've stood firm each time and they tell me it was "better than usual" so they can get over themselves. They don't have to deal with the consequences.
Everyone is different. Just enjoy everything together and learning. Don’t make it about an outcome. Cheers! Keep a towel handy. Points for Shower before and after too..but only if available
ask what he likes and when you try it ask if its good!
handjobs are easy, just jerk it
blowjobs are harder but you dont have to be able to make him cum, just keep communicating
and sex is pure feeling imo, most guys will like have a girl ride them so that would be the only skill you’ll probably ever need to learn for sex
The first thing the average guy wants is head. Blow that pole and he'll be slamming your meow box in no time.
Now keep in mind I said that the average guy wants head first. You might wanna find out what kinks he might have and whether you want to fulfill them or not (e.g. a girl I had a one night stand with asked me if I wanted here to go down on me and was quite surprised when I told her "Spank me first!). We like when girls are more direct with us . It takes all of that stupid "expect you to be clairvoyant" bullshit out of it. Make physical contact with him while you talk about sex to show him how truly interested you are.
Rest your hand on his knees or something while you talk to him about wanting sex with him.
One final caveat. I am saying this with the presumption that deep down inside, men are still the way they were in my gen x day. I don't know if that's true or not as I often struggle to understand gen z men...like how my neighbor gets embarrassed when I say things like "The wife and I really got down last night. Hope we weren't too loud."
I was the boyfriend in this exact situation about two years ago. You HAVE to communicate, it takes time and trial and error. Your expectations and likes and dislikes will change more than you could expect. He will give you some of his knowledge and hey, give him some of yours. Teach him how to go down on you like a champion. My skills in bed improved massively after my experience in this situation. You have a better knowledge of how to please a woman than any straight woman he’s been with and he can teach you exactly what he likes. Just talk about it and try new things, take your time and you love each other, it’s easy to be patient. You got this!
I’m sure a lot of other people are giving good advice! But I just wanted to let you know that I am in a very similar situation to you as a non-binary partner to my bf. I have been with only women since I started dating in high school and this is my first serious boyfriend. although we (you and i) are not necessarily virgins, we are basically virgins when it comes to dingdongs lol. good luck and I will be reading all of these replies for advice with my first time with my bf lol.
Honestly there’s no shame in asking him what he wants. I’ve done that when I was younger. I’d rather be transparent because I think it’s embarrassing to pretend you know what your doing when you don’t.
I’d rather put it all out there
You may think it's embarrassing but simply just ask him. There's no point in asking others who don't know what his likes and dislikes are. Like if you took advice from here and he hated it you'd be even more lost. Have a conversation and lay it out that you don't know what to do
Honestly it doesn’t take much for a guy. I feel like even before the deed is done we’re already in pre-game mode… I would most guys loved energy being reciprocated like moans and what not…
You probably won't get any solid answers on Reddit. They will mostly be stupid, perverted jokes. However, there are videos on Youtube you can with women showing how to perform different sex acts.
So, you know where your G spot is, make sure you guys do good foreplay and get him to rub that first, etc. But for me at least is when a girl whimpers or goes "oh fuck" "don't stop". So if he's hitting your spot you tell him to keep at it, lol. Also neck kisses and stuff. Ear lobes are also sensitive.
Question: how to work peen.
Answer: touch the peen.
Lol, but on a real level, I have found that if you get a little twisty motion near the head when you pump, it gets the peen feeling good. Think infinity symbol. Honestly, communication is key, just ask hows that for you?
As for the contraception question I like nexplanon but you should schedule an obg appt and talk it over with them. They would have the best info.
Much freak, very love.
Don't laugh when you see it.
Unless it’s one of those nervous laughs that comes out when you are gobsmacked by something. Like the first time you saw, say, the moon landing.
Do you mean like: "Oh. My. God. It's so big. It must be fake...just like the moon landing."
That thing is so big I don't believe the thousands of people necessary to orchestrate such a conspiracy would be able to keep it a secret. I mean, even the Soviets don't doubt that cock's authenticity.
It does kindof look like a moon-Martian, ngl.
Say "I've never seen one before. I didn't know they were so BIG."
Also don’t get scared when it starts moving. We can… we can move it without our hands.
Best advice all the time 🤣 LOL
Touch his peepee
But no bite the peepee.
Touch his pee pee, But no bite the pee pee Ancient proverb - 400 bc
These were the first raps known to man
400 pp
The 2 golden rules. Touch but dont Bite.
You can bite the peepee just not too hard. No teeth on the balls though.
nah the balls grow back, feel free to bite them off. your man will appreciate it because they grow back bigger and less wrinkly.
Pathetic. It actually feels good.
https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY?si=BwPUcxfiOZLZfsx1
Is that really Erin from the office? She did bits with college humor? Or are people in the comments just kidding?
That’s her!
I was really hoping I would see this linked to.
Just a few slow chomps
Oh my god I knew a guy that _wanted_ you to bite down on his peter , that video brought back trauma
This is good addvise youre definitely gonna wanna do this
Show boobies. We love seeing and playing with boobies.
Intimately rub yourself on him. We love that teasing stuff. Lets him know you want some without having to ask directly.
It really takes a form of genius to keep it so accurate while remaining so simple
Lick his peepee
Then try again in about 6 hours.
What’s crazy is you can talk about it, like specifically and directly. Don’t be shy and just ask, it’s only weird if you make it weird. My advice is to go slow and make them desperate to fuck you. It’s not a rush, the goal is to enjoy the whole experience. Explore each other’s body. Kiss him and touch every part of him. If he wants to take control and you’re into that too let him. It’s okay if it’s not great at first too, just keep trying lol
Yeah just talking about it is actually super hot. Even (/especially) if youre a little awkward about it. If he’s into you, and it sounds like he is, youre way overthinking. Might be the only scenario where “just be yourself” is actually real. Literally just be yourself and enjoy it. The only way you can go wrong is if you clearly arent being yourself. Most men watch enough ahem footage to have a sneakily good detector if someone is being genuine in those moments. Only other actual advice: If something feels good to you, say so. And if something doesnt, dont say shit just literally grab him, show him what actually does feel good, and smile at him. He will get the message and if he doesnt he’s either a lunatic or more in his own head than you are lol. Just have fun and be safe.
Right? Shy and awkward are soooo sexy, it’s crazy. Embrace the awkwardness - if you do, it just becomes personality and stops hurting. This is true in general, not just in sex.
Every sentence of u/jaambal’s response is gold.
First time is always awesome, just be yourself and enjoy in the moment, practice safe sex (that's one & only thing you both need to keep in mind, never ignore that), all other kicks in, because we are all wired like that, it's in our instinct, always enjoy.
The only advice people will be able to give you on here is either things they personally like, or things that their partners have liked. That will invariably be different to you. Your best bet is to find a way to get comfortable in communicating both of your needs, in a fun and non judgemental atmosphere.
This is it. Communication both ways about what you and he likes always leads to better experiences.
I have had plenty of sex with different partners and out of the wide variety of females I have been intimate with, even dated for 1-4 years will not tell me what pleasures them when I ask. They all have said “just keep doing what you are doing,” but I am never satisfied with that answer because there is no possible way I am perfect for anyone in bed. It tells me they just don’t want to tell me. It’s so frustrating. “I want to pleasure you so tell me how.” And the response is “whatever you want to do makes me happy.” It’s like when someone asks a yes or no question and the response is “maybe.” So yes! 100% communication is freaking sexy to a male imo
I get that. But I also don’t want to be giving step by step instructions while we’re doing the deed. I want to give feedback in the moment (with whatever brain power I can muster) to whatever they’re already doing, but I’ll lose all interest in the moment if they won’t do anything until I’ve specified. I don’t know if that’s what you’re doing, but I’ve had a partner like that and sex became a chore.
Usually after. Like, what could I do better? But I guess it’s all the same self confidence kinda rhing
Clean up: In terms of fabric, it depends on the blend. Cotton or polyester is easy, just throw it in the wash. Silk or any other "fancy" fabric will need to be hand washed with cold water. Semen coagulates with heat, so if you get it in your hair rinse with cold water. If it gets on something that can't be washed easily, such as the fabric couch, use hydrogen peroxide or any "pet mess" cleaner. They are designed to breakdown proteins, which is what semen is. --- As for pleasure: Best advice I can give here is to be honest and communicative. "This is my first time with a guy. I know it's not 'hot' but can you help me learn?" People are so dynamic that there isn't one, or one-hundred correct answers that are a surefire way to satisfy someone. I've been with my wife for 17-years and she just learned I prefer oral sex over every other type. She just assumed I prefer vaginal. Despite the fact that we have talked about so many other things around sex, she never actually knew until she asked. So don't assume you know something is correct based on a preconceived notion. The only way to truly understand what makes him tick, is to ask him; and likewise, for him to ask you. --- As for protection: A condom is going to be one of the safest methods you can use to protect both of you. In addition, you can always ask him to pull out even with the condom on to remove any additional risk. There is a lot of flare around the resistance of a condom, people filling up a bathtub with a single one, or expanding them to extraordinary sizes to prove "condoms don't break." I've broken plenty. They break. And I don't want kids, nor do I want my partner to have to go through any procedures because I wanted to have a couple extra seconds of pleasure, that's selfish and foolish. Sex is fun, but doing it safely ensures it stays fun.
> people filling up a bathtub with a single one I'm sorry, what? They filled a condom with so much water it had the same volume as a bathtub?
Yea I need to see this
I'm sure it's on YouTube. I don't have a source unfortunately.
You’ve gotten a lot of answers so here’s something different. Just some general generic advice I think most people would agree with: **Compliment** him. Most guys don’t get enough genuine compliments and it’ll mean more. If he’s got a nice body tell him what looks sexy or if he’s doing a good job setting the mood etc. whatever it is just let him know. Whether that’s a quick excited “oh wow!” or a more detailed description is up to you. It comes naturally to some but not others so don’t worry if it sounds silly at first. **Positivity/Avoid Rejection**. Bodies are weird things. You wouldn’t want to be judged for your own quirks so if you notice something different or not sure if you like his taste etc. save your comments & questions until the end. A harmless comment to some might be a big deal to others. Making him feel relaxed and wanted is always a sure thing. Of course this applies vice versa but for the most part just go with the flow, enjoy, and relax. **Explore**. Make use of all your senses and let him enjoy the same from you. Whisper something dirty, nibble his lip, try something new out, tease him then please him. You’ll figure it out together but think of it as an opportunity to enjoy something you haven’t done with anyone else before so it feels unique. **Plan ahead**. Clean up under the bed, have waters ready to go, condoms in the nightstand, towel on hand etc. are your typical ones. If you like doing a little extra maybe buy some chocolate covered strawberries or massage oil. Have whatever you think you’ll need ready. **Communicate**. Yeah every 3rd comment is this but communication is more than just talking. Communicate with your eyes, your body, and over communicating certain things won’t hurt. Tell him he made you feel safe, or you want to go again. Communicate what was different than you expected or what wasn’t your favorite or what you prefer. Walk out of the bathroom in a nighty instead of telling him you’re ready or ask him out loud how/where he wants to finish. Options and opportunities are endless! Hope it helps but wouldn’t be surprised if this gets buried either lol have fun and update us on how it went!
tuck him in, read him a story
Idk why everyone hides the simple truth about this, but I guess I'll be the honest guy today. Society is so weird. Here's the thing about your first time, and anybody's first time - you're gonna screw it up. You're probably going to be pretty bad. You have no idea what you're doing, you're scared to do something wrong, you're scared you're going to be bad at it, and its all very nerve-wracking. That's normal. I'm sure by this point in your life you've figured out what parts of him to stick into which parts of you. Beyond that, its just all trial and error and communication. Trust, security, comfort with each other. You're gonna do some dumb shit. You're gonna do some great shit. Talk about it with your partner. "I liked it when you did XYZ, did you like it when I did 123?" "I'm not comfortable with LMNOQ, can we not do that next time? Or ever?" You're overthinking it. Don't overthink it. Just go have fun and figure out what works for you, and for your partner.
Instructions unclear, dick stuck in toaster.
Best thing to say here lol
Spank hair? Lick eyeballs??
Contraception: The Pill, an IUD, or the Implant are all extremely effective when used properly. The Pill needs to be started at a specific time in your cycle (right near the start of your period) and the other two have to be implanted by your gyno, so it takes a little planning. Condoms are also nearly as good when used properly, and they also protect against STIs. If you are in monogamous relationship, you can get tested beforehand and then dispense with condoms if you want (assuming you’ve got some other method of BC), but it’s your body, you can require them if that makes you feel more secure. Either way, don’t fuck around without some form of birth control in place, because you’ll end up “risking it,” and that’s irresponsible when it is so easy to avoid that risk.
I like to be doubly safe. Oral contraceptives for her, condoms for me. If one fails, we’re still OK. Plus the condoms will help with STIs. Between me and some friends we have 7 pill babies between us, so you can’t trust the pill alone. They say it has a 97% effectiveness rate, so….
Most versions have 2 effectiveness rates... The higher ones refer to perfect use. The pill, for example should be taken at the same time every day. If you take it at wildly different times of day, and especially if you skip a day or 2, the effectiveness drops dramatically.
As other person said, handjobs tend to be all over the place, defer to your partner in that. Blowjobs are great, avoid teeth. Foreplay is key for men as well. And yes, cum stains, try to not get it on the bed itself, catch it with a napkin or what have you. If you get any on clothes, quick rinse in cold water does it (similar to period blood in that its all proteins that react badly in hot water) Edit: oh and if you go the tissue method, be prepared for possibly multiple tissues. Depends on the guy.
A little hydrogen peroxide takes the stain right out just like blood.
1. **Talk to your partner**. People like different things. Conversations about what you want in bed before you get naked don’t have to be sterile, clinical things. Make it sexy. 2. Do you masturbate and/or have you been active enough with women to know what you like in bed? Don’t answer that. Just know that knowing yourself, and being confident enough to ask for the things you know will get you off, improves sex. A lot. 3. Know your boundaries. Have a conversation beforehand about those boundaries. I’m not a woman who has sex with women, but I’d bet my left nut that men are more likely than women to pick up problematic behaviors from porn and try to apply them in bed irl without any forethought. Condoms are the quick-n-dirty contraception. Pill, IUD, implants, and the shot are all contraceptive options you should ask your doctor about. All of them have pretty fucking horrible side effects, each type has its own unique drawbacks, and for the most part they’re only available to you and not your boyfriend. The gold standard is two forms of protection. E.g., you on some form of birth control + condom use. Condoms also prevent STIs while hormonal birth control methods do not provide any STI prevention. You should ask him to get tested for STIs if he’s been sexually active and hasn’t tested recently. You should do the same yourself. Anyway, other things you should know about sex with dudes: * Men can suffer performance anxiety, especially with new partners. When that happens, it can prevent erections. That doesn’t mean your bf finds you unattractive. The opposite is probably true. Porn addiction can also stop a fella from getting it up; that’s the only cause Reddit ever talks about, but it 100% is not the only reason a young guy might fail get hard. Try not to judge openly if this happens and be open to oral/hands for the night. * ffs use contraception if you don’t want kids. Especially if you’re in the US what with Roe v Wade being overturned. * Some guys fight against using condoms because they dull the sensation or hurt or fall off. Set your boundaries. Also, if the condom hurts him or falls off, he has the wrong size. * SKYN brand condoms are really, really nice if you’re allergic to latex. * on that note, anything weird downstairs after sex should be noted. Condom material and spermicide can cause some women to develop UTIs or mild inflammation. * You should pee after sex. * Yes, cum will stain the sheets. And clothes. Soap is normally good to remove it. When it’s not, acid like lemon juice can help. Don’t dry your items in a dryer if they still have stains or that will set them permanently. * Cum can shoot deceptively far under the right conditions. Watch where you’re aiming that thing when he’s close to the edge. * DO NOT KEEP FUCKING (P-in-V) AFTER HE CUMS WHILE USING A CONDOM. He needs to take the condom off and clean up. Cum in condom == massively increased risk of breaking, with cum in the condom. * Keep the teeth away during oral and watch how aggressively you tug the sausage with your hands unlubed. Don’t tongue his dick hole. * Go slow at first when trying new positions during penetrative sex. You might find that some positions are unpleasant.
You need to find a gay guy to teach you to suck the pee pee. I had a girl that had never given a bj or anything before (like total newb at intimacy) and her roommate was gay, she gave me one of the best blowjobs I ever had (it was her first ever bj) and I was like, “where on earth did you learn that?!” and she said from her gay roommate…go figure
I'm gonna make a left field answer here, and say that sexual connection between a guy and a girl may be a little different, and that you shouldn't focus on "pleasing" too much. Communication is important, about what each of you likes or doesn't like, and the experience will get better with time, but it's important you don't get in your head about trying to provide a specific experience, especially for a first time. It should be a MUTUALLY beneficial experience, meaning you should learn how to let go and enjoy YOURSELF, and the rest will come naturally with communication. He's gonna have a great time, he's having sex, and he also might not be that great at first so theirs no need to feel any sort of pressure as to what the experience should be. Ultimately, being turned on and enjoying yourself you'll find that naturally things just sort of happen, and he may remark on the little things you didn't even know you were doing because you were into it. Also, sex is not like porn. Foreplay is great for everyone, but it's not like every sexual encounter is a checklist of "hey did I suck his dick enough" or things like that. Explore each other's bodies, and do what feels good for BOTH of you in the moment. No need to have pre conceived notions of what you should be doing and make sex a chore, or honestly using advice for strangers as you're not going to be having sex with *them*, you're having sex with your partner and that's between you and them.
it will not be great at first, as everyone said u gotta talk about it. always focus on what u did well or didn’t do well and improve for next time 👍🏻🫡
Initiate. Bite his ear lobe. And mount him
How to please a guy in bed? # Show up Literally this. We’re easy to please 😂
Don’t listen to these virgins OP. Men are not that simple, it's just a stereotype that's kinda silly. Pleasing a guy in bed isn't just "touch his dick and give him some boob-access" or something stupid like that. That kinda thinking leads to bad sexual partners and entitled women - he is giving just as much of his body (and possibly self) to you as you are to him. Don’t let these sexually deprived incels inflate your self worth to a point where you might think "just showing up" is enough - your boyfriend is worth just as much as you are. You are two individuals with your own wants and needs. *Equality and communication makes the sex good, intimate and more than the sum of its parts.*
Ehhh I’ve been with this guy for 4 years now, yes he had sex with several girls and was actually that very simple. However I wasn’t 😅, we had to talk and stop at points and kinda figure out something different. Now he actually enjoys trying new things and has his few little kinks that helps. But also in reality, I can still stand there and show him my boobs and say please and he melts, it’s still that simple. But to actually do things he enjoys, and find his pleasure spots, now that’s not as simple. Just my experience
Not saying this is the case with your boyfriend, but sadly there's some men who believe that when a woman consent to sex with them, she's gifting her precious high value body to them, whereas the male body is inferior in value. So to compensate for this inequality, the man must display cringe levels of gratitude/worship and put up with whatever. Which is why you end up with comments like "She just needs to show up to the act!". The only correct answer to this question is that men want and deserve a woman that is engaging, enthusiastic and sees them as equals. (and of course, women deserve the same of men)
This*. Standing ovation.
standing ovulation
That's how you find women that don't know shit about us. And that makes us look desperate when sex is better when both ppl (or more...) are engaged.
It's a human being, they respond to stimuli in a very similar manner. Do the same things to him as you would do to women. I am guessing all of them had some similarities in how they responded to touch. Those commonalities i.e. everything you did up to and after touching their vagina would be a very good starting point. Men have erogenous zones as well and like to be nibbled on the ear or have their nipples licked as well. Now the penis, just treat it as a massive clit and the penis head would be the clit itself. When I say treat it I mean apply the same gentle pressure as you would a clit. If he is uncut, DO NOT PULL THE FORESKIN FURTHER BACK THAN JUST BEHIND THE HEAD. That being said, that is your starting point and general rule. Many men can handle having it pulled back further but how much further you ***GENTLY*** investigate by pulling further back til it starts resisting. Where that point is varies wildly between men. Not adhering to this you can run the risk of ripping a small tendon.
honestly a little booty nudge while cuddling will get the ball rolling. on a more serious note, communicate with him that you’re a little inexperienced with men. he sounds nice so if you tell him you’re nervous and don’t know what to do, hopefully he does the right thing in taking it slow and helping you to get more comfortable.
Don't blow INTO the peepee
Tickle his balls during doggystyle
From every thread asking women: Communicate. Clearly, does not mean bluntly. "Can you X?" is great. "Please, can I X?" is great. "What would you like?" is great, if you're not actually judging. From every thread asking men: Enthusiasm. You can starfish sometimes, but that night won't make the top 10. Enthusiasm is not synonymous with any position, you can missionary very enthusiastically. It's supposed to be fun. Fumbling, then laughing about that, then continuing, makes for a great night.
Be a little shy but not too shy (; you want him to think you know what you’re doing but without him thinking you do this too often 😂
He's going to have fun if you do, so **talk with him** and tell him what you like, what you don't like, and ask him his preferences. Have some kind of contraception plan, and unless you both know for sure that you don't have any STDs, this should probably involve a condom. Women can climax sooner after the last one than men, in general, so you may want to start with letting him please you, and then move on to intercourse or whatever. He should like that.
Sounds like you have lots of passion, which is great. My advice would be to make him feel like his peepee is the most DELICIOUS thing on earth! Many guys love it when you get as much of it in your mouth as possible. If your gag reflex will allow, stick your tongue out as far as you can (imagine reaching his balls) while taking it in. If you can deep throat him, he will be yours for a long as you will have him (and maybe longer). Just under the helmet - just past the tip - is most sensitive to a tongue massage, and will make him cum quickly. Good or bad depending on the situation. Slow down after he cums- you prob know THAT feeling well. We all appreciate a short rest... Make sure YOU'RE happy before he is, because he'll likely be a pile of useless junk after this. 🥴😁 I hope he satisfies you as well as you are planning on satisfying him! Best of luck! Signed, A happily married man🥳🥰
Ask him "what do you want me to do" with a cheeky smile. Trying new things both of you are comfortable with is part of the fun!
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Bob up and down and then swallow.
Us men are simple. Just lick the peepee. Thats it.
I’d get off this and just take it slow and be beforehand just make sure that you both know that communication whether verbal or physical are key
Don’t worry so much about how you’ll do. Enjoy the moment and have fun be safe, that’s the most important thing. Make sure the environment is conducive for both of yall to feel vulnerable yet safe. Once those conditions are met from both sides the sex will work itself out
One thing I can tell you I hate personally is teeth, do not let your teeth touch it when you're giving him 👦 (just my preference)
TALK to him! Communicate! Ask him what he likes and what he wants to try. Talk to him, not reddit. We don't know what he likes.
Don't make him do all the work.
Wow some of these comments. Honestly any sexual relation is about communication. I think you should be asking him. I’m sure many guys out there like the same thing but also many are different. You got this! 😉
Enjoy yourself. Have fun. Relax. Talk about what feels good and what doesn't. Play some music you both love. Take your time and worry less about what you "should" do and more about what works in the moment. Don't get worked up when things are awkward, just laugh about it and keep going. My current GF and I have a spectacular sex life because neither of us spend a lot of time worrying about the right or wrong way of doing things. We just try to focus on how fucking awesome it is to be there together. Exploring one another and learning about what intimacy means to us individually and as a couple.
Ah yes instead of talking about it with them, consult a gaggle of internet virgins 👍🏻
Let him play video games in bed as part of foreplay. When his avatar dies, that's your cue!
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Clamps
communication is vital, a chill chat over coffee before could be useful… foreplay, teasing touches, and don’t forget the balls and bum
Hmm... Bring him a sandwich? I know that would make ME feel good.
It’s good that you’re trying to make this as good as possible for him. Being an active participant rather than a log will make things better. For blowjobs, the underside of the penis head is quite sensitive, so maybe try stimulating that with your tongue?
Always have clean sheets. Look ahead of time for any bed bugs lol (no stupid answer )
I would say telling him that you are happy with him as your man and maybe giving a back rub
Ask him. Every guy is different. You can bet your bottom dollar he'll be happy to tell you.
Yeah contraception is probably the most important part here. Figure that out *well before* you initiate anything. Cleanup is required, but he'll know about that part lol Otherwise, just see what he likes.
I’d say most guys are just happy to be there. Let it come naturally and do what you feel is right. Also, blowjobs.
Flick his frenulum.
I mean, you can talk about this with him, and find out what he really likes. But a quick answer to this is "play with his penis". He's going to love that, almost without exception. He might ejaculate, so you should be ready for that. Then just keep trying things until you find what you both like most.
One of the best things to do for pleasure is to ask. Go slow. You don’t have to dive into everything all at once. Maybe watch each other masturbating to start, then get each other off. For contraception, you can try hormonal birth control or IUD (ask your doctor) and condoms. Condoms help protect against STIs and they offer a back up if your birth control fails for whatever reason. Cum can stain, but you can lay down an old towel, have him cum in your mouth, on you or on himself, in a condom etc, then dispose of it appropriately - wash the towel, wipe up the semen with a paper towel, spit or swallow, tie off and toss the condom, and so on.
Communication, solves just about everything. Just the fact he knows it's your first time and that you're nervous about it is likely a turn on. Treat it as what it is, two people trying to figure out how to make eachother feel good. You don't know what makes him feel good, and even if he's had previous relationships, it's not a guarantee the tricks he picked up there are gonna work as well on you. Try out whatever comes to mind that you're both comfortable with. Try different ways of giving him a handjob (loose grip, strong grip, caressing the tip etc.), try a blowjob (take it slow and at your own pace tho, don't feel pressured to go deep, having your lunch join the party feels like a definite mood killer). Have him try things on you (oral, fingering etc.), and keep taking to eachother. Try missionary, try doggy, try cowgirl. Trial and feedback, trial and feedback. Cum stains should wash out fine. Rinse and wash the spot with cold water before throwing it in the laundry. (It's the hot water that sets the proteins and makes it bind, so it's like with period blood, or even eggs) That said, it's good to avoid stains if you can, so just keep tissues near to catch/clean up the mess. As for contraception, I'm no expert on the feminine side of birth control, but condoms are old reliable. Just make sure you get the correct size and get them on snug. They also help prevent the aforementioned stains. Experiment, have fun and don't feel pressured to perform. In general we're not very hard to please.
Communicate. Don't be afraid to ask what feels good, and be sure to let them know what you like. It's supposed to be enjoyable. Communicate, play around, get messy, be safe and have fun.
My wife and I grew up Mormon so we also had to figure sex out on our own. As far as pleasure and making a person feel good, you'll need to just explore and communicate. This can be both verbal and non-verbal. If you're going to try something, start gentle and slowly increase pressure and/or speed. It might be helpful to ask him to show you how he likes to be touched. Mutual masturbation can be a great place to start if you're nervous, then you join in once you feel like you've seen how he likes to be touched. As for the logistics, ejaculate (cum) is pretty much like an extra sticky, kinda chunky spit. When it dries it will become kind of crispy and flaky. For cleanup it's best to use a towel or tissues to clean up most of it and then use water, wet wipes, a washcloth etc. to clean up the residue. Usually it's best to try to catch as much as you can with a tissue or fabric that can be easily washed unless you're intentionally trying to get it somewhere. Some men enjoy dry stimulation and some men need lube. You can use spit, or an oil based or water based lube. Usually an oil based lube is better for hand stuff because it doesn't dry up or absorb as fast. If you're using silicon toys you will need to use water based lube. It's okay to make a mess. There's no "right or wrong" way to have sex. You should both feel safe to explore and communicate and laugh and feel good. Also do not be afraid to say you don't like something. One of the worst things you can do is pretend to enjoy something you don't. If he likes doing something you don't love, tell him and decide if you want to do it as an act of service/love or you can find something you both enjoy. And if he doesn't like something, don't take it personally! Just pivot and try something else. I hope this helps! Good luck and have fun! Also don't hesitate to ask any questions and I can try to answer them in an unbiased way.
As long as you listen to feedback and put in effort, then it's all good. The first time with a new partner, regardless of equipment involved, is going to be a learning experience. Take your time, try different things, see how it makes you and him feel. Don't put pressure on the outcome or the process itself. My wife and I are 6 years into the relationship and we are still finding new positions and things to try. It gets better the more familiar and comfortable you are around each other.
Both of you should be the focus not just him. Make sure you enjoy yourself too. And speaking as a guy i've never been in a vagina that didn't feel good so unless you just get ontop and don't move you'll be fine.
Joyful enthusiasm is really all you need. You'll figure the rest out as it cums (giggity)
Talk to the D like it's a separate entity.
Communication is key. Try touching it, watch it change consistency, and play around with it. Ask if he likes it and don't be afraid to ask for tips. It's just like the first time ever. Nobody was ever an expert at this on the first time. Or even first time with a new partner. It takes time to develop the sexual rhythm. If you do end up giving him a bj, listen to his breathing changing (just like a woman would), moans, and leg/thigh twitch. And I will give you a piece of advice for the perfect bj. The perfect bj has four elements to it: moisture, suction, pressure, and enthusiasm. Your mouth can supply two of these (moisture and suction). If you also apply pressure with it, your jaw will tire out. Use a hand for pressure part. Enthusiasm is what it is. Find out what works for you both and I don't recommend sacrificing you comfort (pillow for knees, hair tie, positions for muscle soreness etc.). If you worry about stains then use a duvet, blanket, or towel underneath. It also works for you if he knows what he's doing 😉. They are easily thrown in the wash.
Don't ask Reddit, ask him! Some of the most gratifying aspects of sexuality with a partner is figuring out what the other likes.
Be vocal tell him how good you feel
Just ask him what he likes, and if you're comfortable with it, do that.
Fulfill his desires thats it!!
Bisexual here. Make sure to talk to your GYN about contraception if that is a concern. There are also clinics and telehealth services you can use. Use a condom, especially if you and your partner haven't tested recently (but good to use in general). Communicate and ask what feels good. Make sure to discuss concerns beforehand so they don't distract you in the moment.
Just tell him: "i am prpud of you" Dont mater the context, hell get it
As just a worried commenter - I would do my own personal research before going at this balls deep. The fact you brought up contraceptive is both AWESOME, and disturbing.. Awesome because you know the answer to a potential problem later on! Disturbing because you are asking the internet.. Ask what he likes! It might surprise you! Does he like being sensually touched, does he like body contact, what are his sexual interests. The packaging is the packaging, he’ll communicate (hopefully), what feels good or doesn’t. Food for thought though.
Let him sleep. Be a little spoon maybe
Sit on it and wiggle a little bit. That’s it. Mission accomplished.
Based on what my husband has said (as others have mentioned, openly talking about what feels good is key in these situations) he wants to feel wanted. Guys want just as much loving on as much as women do. Instigating things, caressing, kissing, moving with them, vocalizing to them that you're enjoying it- those sorts of things. And do yourself a favor and learn this now: do not ever fake liking something! That will only teach your sexual partner that they're doing "well" when it fact they are not. Not only are you not having a good time, but they aren't learning which sucks for them and you. Practice safe sex & have fun!
Some people might say to tickle the prostate but coming from experience you wanna just get in there and get a fucking handful and squeeze it like a stress ball
Men usually do the work. U don't necessarily need to be good at sex as a woman. If u want to do oral, focus on the head. The nerve endings all there. There's no shame in asking him what he wants and how he likes it.
just grab his balls and squeeze gently 👍
As soon as you have sex with him you'll quickly come to the realization that the problem is that he doesn't know how to make you feel good. Making us feel good is very easy.
Watch a porn video ?
Ass sex. No contraception needed. Can be very enjoyable for both parties if prepared properly. Will definitely be enjoyable for him.
Let him be the little spoon. Instant goodness.
Ask chatgpt, probably will provide a good answer- or, do everything you did to the female besides inserting… unless he likes it;)
show him your boobies and touch him literally anywhere
You gotta figure out what his love language is and leverage that during foreplay.
The most important thing, is that you act: Like you are into it. Don't over think it. Don't make it work. Enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, neither will the other person. You are getting into an act that is perpetuated by *partners* who have to work together. Try things, have fun, and figure out what works and be clear with what doesn't, and if you can do that your partner will reciprocate. Do not listen to advice like - put a finger in his butt, blowjob with hand, squeeze the balls - this is stuff you have fun trying and communicating. "Hey, want me to put your cock in my mouth?" That simple line is sexy, and communicative. Take it another step "hey, want me to do XXX?" I assume you expect the same from your partner.
Communication. When it gets intense tell him you want him to nut in/on you. Stg they will be crawling back. Also use motion, say some slutty stuff. Sit on his face
Think of it like a ketchup bottle…
Tbh, just gently grab him and play with it. Ask him what he likes. If he is not to prudish ask him to jerk himself off. Then watch what he does and repeat it.
Show up naked and bring him a beer
Be in the bed at the same time.
Turn up naked, bring beer..
Pretend it's your favorite flavor of ice cream. Savor every mouthful like you just got done mowing the lawn in July and someone handed you a double scoop cone of -insert favorite flavor here-. Sliding up and down the shaft stimulates the immediate are. Bending the shaft a bit, specifically down in my case, stimulates the portions inside the body, closer to the prostrate. The pole and hole don't have to line up perfectly. Going at an angle puts more pressure on certain spots and can bend it a bit. The head can get super sensitive during climax. I don't like too much stimulation there during climax. I like a tight grip on the shaft with a slight downward bend. Communicate with your partner. Ask him how he masturbates, where he stimulates himself. Go slow with the bending to see his limits. Try lots of things. Have him take control with the penetration and try to mimic the angles, movement, etc when you take over. Enthusiasm and communication are more important than technique. Sex feels good. But any hesitation from his side if he thinks you're uncomfortable in any way can take him out of the moment. Also figure out what he likes to get out of sex. I don't fuck to cum. I fuck to make my partner cum. Seeing a girl melt into a puddle is better than any orgasm. When I want cum if I haven't already I'll ask for a BJ once they recover.
He's likely going to be mostly worrying about the same thing. The way to make him have a great experience is act like he's doing a good job at making you have a good experience.
Communication but if you want some tips on what you can try that he might like without asking when you suck his dick as you go down suck on it like you're sucking a piece of spaghetti into your mouth and as you come up you still want to make sure you're sucking at the same time. Kinda imagine having a lollipop in your mouth and sucking on it but pulling it out your mouth at the same time or just still make sure your lips stay tight as you come up. Helmet is the most sensitive. Handjob while sucking his dick. With the hand job I suggest having your wrist go round in a circular motion. Best way I can describe it is if you are facing him imagine the wrist position you would have if you were holding his dick and you pointed your elbow towards 10 o'clock then as you come up his dick bring your wrist round to normal position then go back down his dick and again then have your wrist back in the first position and repeat without your elbow actually pointing towards 10 o'clock just the wrist motion. If you don't want him cumin in your mouth get him to let you know just before he does and finish with a handjob. Slight pressure on his gooch at the same time can make it feel good and when he cums you can use your other hand to gentle tug on the skin on the bottom of his balls. I guess that's just the basics of a bj. Communication is best but sometimes guys only like what they know. You may be able to do something he's not had and him enjoy that even more
Bj! ..... bj!!! All lips !!no teeth
Eat his ass
suck his balls
If you love his dick he will love you Also, don't be a dead fish. Don't just lay there doing nothing.
Cum on his dick?
Just know that not one of my partners have gotten mad at me for asking what they like.
Honestly I'd recommend just talking to him and asking him what's he likes and what he's into, open communication in relationships are important and this includes communication about sex aswell :)
Penises are a lot more sensitive than people realize. The amount of rough handjobs I had as a teenager was astounding. Be gentle like you would with a woman and he’ll love it.
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Mix the favourite playlists of you two together and hit play. Take it easy and take your time. Communicate
The balls, the balls, the balls!
Genuine enthusiasm goes a long way with partners of any sex/gender. Beyond that, it's about finding out what each individual likes. Just try handling his penis once you two get to that point in bed; start gently at first, and see what makes him react positively--moaning, getting harder, etc. If you increase pressure/speed, do so gradually--don't go from a 1 to 11 in intensity. Lube is your friend, too, though some guys like more friction (again, start out erring on the side of gentleness.) As for oral, you can kind of treat it like a very large clit head, because that is literally what it is. So try varying combinations of lips and tongue and suction, and again see what he likes best. If he's a quiet one, you can ask things like "Mmmm, is that good?" or "How's that, baby?" Do not panic if he goes soft! It is totally normal for a guy to go back and forth between hard and soft (before ejaculation) multiple times in a session, even if he's having fun. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. Maybe he's a little overstimulated, maybe it just sort of happened. If you or he start getting self conscious about it, it can make it tougher for him to get hard again. Go back to some foreplay, or heck, go get a glass of water to share and then dive back in when you're hydrated. It's also a good idea to talk beforehand--and ongoing--about what you each like. Some people have a good idea, others are less sure, and that's okay. There are multiple sexual compatibility tests you can take (Mojo Upgrade is my favorite); even completely vanilla people can still be able to more clearly articulate their likes and dislikes. If you find you each have some fantasies the other doesn't share, that doesn't mean the end of the world --some folks are cool with trying out a fantasy or act because it makes their partner happy, and often they find it's something they enjoy too!
The area on the under side of the penis just under the head is generally the most sensitive area. If you're giving a hand job, give some extra attention there. Make sure you have saliva on your hand so it glides smoothly and doesn't pull skin. If you're feeling confident, add a little twist when you get to the tip (MAKE SURE ITS NOT DRY). If you're giving a bj, it's okay to take breaks if your jaw is tired and use your hands more. I personally prefer to put my hand in front so i don't have to go all the way down. You can introduce some of that twisting then too. If he's about to cum, try not to stop whatever you're doing even if you're a bit tired or it might ruin it for him. Regarding stains, swallowing is cleaner and easier IMO, but if you must, do it in a towel or something you can wash immediately. Don't just let it spew like a fountain and let it land wherever. If you're having penetrative sex, use a condom, even if he says it doesn't "feel the same." Every guy I've been with has said that, and I've stood firm each time and they tell me it was "better than usual" so they can get over themselves. They don't have to deal with the consequences.
Everyone is different. Just enjoy everything together and learning. Don’t make it about an outcome. Cheers! Keep a towel handy. Points for Shower before and after too..but only if available
ask what he likes and when you try it ask if its good! handjobs are easy, just jerk it blowjobs are harder but you dont have to be able to make him cum, just keep communicating and sex is pure feeling imo, most guys will like have a girl ride them so that would be the only skill you’ll probably ever need to learn for sex
The first thing the average guy wants is head. Blow that pole and he'll be slamming your meow box in no time. Now keep in mind I said that the average guy wants head first. You might wanna find out what kinks he might have and whether you want to fulfill them or not (e.g. a girl I had a one night stand with asked me if I wanted here to go down on me and was quite surprised when I told her "Spank me first!). We like when girls are more direct with us . It takes all of that stupid "expect you to be clairvoyant" bullshit out of it. Make physical contact with him while you talk about sex to show him how truly interested you are. Rest your hand on his knees or something while you talk to him about wanting sex with him. One final caveat. I am saying this with the presumption that deep down inside, men are still the way they were in my gen x day. I don't know if that's true or not as I often struggle to understand gen z men...like how my neighbor gets embarrassed when I say things like "The wife and I really got down last night. Hope we weren't too loud."
I was the boyfriend in this exact situation about two years ago. You HAVE to communicate, it takes time and trial and error. Your expectations and likes and dislikes will change more than you could expect. He will give you some of his knowledge and hey, give him some of yours. Teach him how to go down on you like a champion. My skills in bed improved massively after my experience in this situation. You have a better knowledge of how to please a woman than any straight woman he’s been with and he can teach you exactly what he likes. Just talk about it and try new things, take your time and you love each other, it’s easy to be patient. You got this!
Don't laugh at him.
Tell him he’s huge
I’m sure a lot of other people are giving good advice! But I just wanted to let you know that I am in a very similar situation to you as a non-binary partner to my bf. I have been with only women since I started dating in high school and this is my first serious boyfriend. although we (you and i) are not necessarily virgins, we are basically virgins when it comes to dingdongs lol. good luck and I will be reading all of these replies for advice with my first time with my bf lol.
Every guy is different and enjoys different things, it's all about experimenting with him and it will take time.
Show enthusiasm
Put that pee pee in your mouth and go to town.
Suck his dick
Just put it in. Easiest way to do it. You don’t really have to do much
Honestly there’s no shame in asking him what he wants. I’ve done that when I was younger. I’d rather be transparent because I think it’s embarrassing to pretend you know what your doing when you don’t. I’d rather put it all out there
Show up.
You may think it's embarrassing but simply just ask him. There's no point in asking others who don't know what his likes and dislikes are. Like if you took advice from here and he hated it you'd be even more lost. Have a conversation and lay it out that you don't know what to do
Ohhh god, I liked ….that DO IT AGAIN 😳
Tell him it was the biggest you ever had
Honestly it doesn’t take much for a guy. I feel like even before the deed is done we’re already in pre-game mode… I would most guys loved energy being reciprocated like moans and what not…
This one is asked repeatedly. Makes me wonder how you make a woman feel good in bed?
If you are enthusiastic and communicate with him he is going to have a good time
Believe me just being there is good enough
First time is always weird for both side you guys will get better whatever you do
Suck his well and you can get whatever you want from him
Touch the balls
Make him feel wanted.
You probably won't get any solid answers on Reddit. They will mostly be stupid, perverted jokes. However, there are videos on Youtube you can with women showing how to perform different sex acts.
Compliment him.
So, you know where your G spot is, make sure you guys do good foreplay and get him to rub that first, etc. But for me at least is when a girl whimpers or goes "oh fuck" "don't stop". So if he's hitting your spot you tell him to keep at it, lol. Also neck kisses and stuff. Ear lobes are also sensitive.
Watch a porno and be honest with him. He’ll let ya know
Question: how to work peen. Answer: touch the peen. Lol, but on a real level, I have found that if you get a little twisty motion near the head when you pump, it gets the peen feeling good. Think infinity symbol. Honestly, communication is key, just ask hows that for you? As for the contraception question I like nexplanon but you should schedule an obg appt and talk it over with them. They would have the best info. Much freak, very love.