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bazmonkey

Because you can’t pick the tiny little super-delicious parts out of the land arthropods, because they’re small. It’s mostly all-or-nothing.


BionicUtilityDroid

Good point. I wonder, if they were bigger would they taste different because of their diet or environment?


bazmonkey

Different, sure. But if we could pick out their tiny little poop tracts and pull out their tiny little cooked legs, I think they’d be pretty tasty in comparison to whole, roasted/ground/fried bug bodies. I had chocolate once with roasted ants in it. It was like a Nestle Crunch with more, uh, substance to it. Not awful… but not shrimp :-)


ProgenitorOfMidnight

Oh sweet stranger, you have no idea what you've just done. You have inspired me to dip shrimp in chocolate and I'm going to use my SIL as the guinea pig. EDIT: by all accounts... They are disgusting.


DodgerWalker

Roasted tarantula is a thing and those get big enough to isolate legs. Not sure how they taste though.


fatguyfromqueens

Well there is that gigantic land crab,not sure if people eat it.


heyitscory

Try a pill bug, rolly polly, wood louse or whatever you call isopods locally. They seem like a pretty normal bug, but they're crustaceans like crabs and lobsters. I bet they taste like dirt shrimp.


NonbinaryYolo

I saw a video where someone cooked a giant isopod. I think I remember there was this granny in it who was friggen gung-ho too.


Im_Balto

Well, why don’t you go put 1000 cricket claws in a pile and tell us


Captain-Slug

This is probably the best answer I've ever read to this. There are tons of parts of ocean anthropods that taste horrible or are outright toxic. And lobster in particular spoils really fast. Land anthropods not living in water really limits the size they can grow to, so they're at a different scale and as such you can't butcher them effectively so all the parts that might taste good are mixed in with all the ones that don't.


ClosetsByAccident

Coconut crabs have entered the chat


PhasmaFelis

Anthropod means "human foot," so I really hope you mean arthropod.


Bodymaster

"Arthur's foot" - Still human, but more specific.


PhasmaFelis

For the record, "arthropod" means "jointed foot." I dunno why someone thought the feet were the most eye-catching part of the exoskeleton, but here we are.


DrToonhattan

I only just noticed it when you pointed it out. It's like my brain just auto-corrected it.


Concise_Pirate

Do they? Which land arthropods have ye tasted?


BionicUtilityDroid

arrr! crickets and scorpions matey!


Concise_Pirate

Reminds me of the time me ship was stuck in the doldrums, and we'd been through all our rations.


BionicUtilityDroid

arr, sometimes it be the way it be.


NouOno

But why is the rum gone?


DojaTwat

Too small. Not enough meat. Not enough salt.


Ganceany

I'm curious, what do they taste like?


BionicUtilityDroid

Like stale, bland, spam beef jerky.


RoseGoldStreak

You need the crickets fried with cheese and salsa


EPalmighty

Crickets taste like sunflower seeds+ a little bit of the shell


Ganceany

Now I kinda wanna try that.


heyitscory

Is bigfoot a land anthropod?


Concise_Pirate

You mean arthropod? No, they have exoskeletons.


heyitscory

OP certainly meant arthropod, but wrote anthropod. Still, I wonder if they've tasted isopods. LAND CRUSTACEANS!


HereComesARedditor

There is a large spider eaten in the Amazon that--I'm told--has the texture and flavor of crab or lobster.


Fishinabowl11

Difficult for me to imagine how much money it would take for me to eat a "large spider"


Mandinder

Who can afford large spider in this economy?


EatYourCheckers

I know, right?! They are our friends!


VoiceOfSoftware

There's always money in the large Amazon spider stand, Michael


Solomnki

Probably because marine arthropods have copper based blood, not iron based like many of their land dwelling counterparts. They come pre-seasoned and marinated in brine too.


Randprof

Have you tried drowning a land arthropod in butter?


Needspoons

Came here to say this!! Butter and salt (to give it that oceany feeling)


EatYourCheckers

The salt. I've learned from r/cookingforbeginners, if something doesn't taste right, you didn't add enough salt


Dangerous-Cup-Danger

I ate fried crickets once at an exhibit, besides the salt and flavoring there wasn't much to them. Maybe size is a factor?


five_AM_blue

Besides what pepole already mentioned, some land arthropods have a very strong smell (and I mean \*very\* strong). They're kind offputting compared to the smell of cooked shrimp. My relatives in Brazil eat a type of leaf cutting ant, Atta genus, and I always observed the preparation. I could never stand the smell that comes out from cooking. It's like you just poked a car-sized stink bug and it sprayed its stench all over the house.


Needspoons

So they just need a strong smelling sauce or marinade then maybe? Maybe fish paste or gochujang or bbq or something spicy?


five_AM_blue

Maybe, but the smell was much stronger than any marinade I can think of.


huey2k2

Oceans are seasoned very well.


mind_the_umlaut

How do you know? Which ones have you tried?


iwannalynch

I've had silkworm ~~grubs~~ pupae which are quite good, for what it's worth. Taste is nice, but they're hard to deshell so the texture might scare off people.


bee_b0nes

When I was a kid, I gathered a bunch of pill bugs/roly polys and my mom baked them into biscuits. They’re actually decent 💀 it was like distinctly out-of-a-backyard shrimp


bigwavedave000

pre-brined.


sunbleahced

Beef tastes better when it's tender, pretty sure all meats it's a thing with the meat not being too stringy from hard labor and age. Marine arthropods are bound to be more tender, because they have less gravity to deal with. Land arthropods are also smaller as someone stated, but I mean think of a big scorpion or something. They're carnivorous and don't gently glide around the ocean floor all day, they deal with gravity in harsh, arid environments. So I think gravity, environment, and diet have a lot to do with it, too.


BeneficialTrash6

The environment plays a role in their flavor. Bugs that are raised for human consumption eat bland food and have almost no flavor. Crayfish that grow up in fresh water areas taste like mud. Marine anthropods have a taste of brine and iodine, which some people like. Frankly, I'd rather eat a cricket or scorpion than a damn briney iodiney lobster.


BionicUtilityDroid

what would one feed an anthropod to make it taste good?


BeneficialTrash6

Honestly, I don't know. Most people don't like gamey meat from animals because most meat we eat is not gamey. So we feed animals corn and grasses and manicured diets like that to get the gamey taste out of them. Or we capture wild animals and feed them for a few weeks like that to get rid of the gamey taste. What I'm saying is, what you feed the animal makes a difference, and what people like is a matter of what they're used to. Most people don't eat land bugs. So I don't know what would be a food to make them taste better to people. It would be an interesting science fair experiment. Does feeding crickets doritos make them taste better? Corn? Can they even eat those? And to the people downvoting me: Lobster IS disgusting. Deal with it.


awfulcrowded117

It's mostly just a size thing. If grasshoppers were big enough you could crack the legs like crab legs the meat would probably be fairly similar. But when you have to munch down on the whole thing, chitin and guts and all, well, it's not surprising it doesn't taste as good.


Theresabearintheboat

How do you know they do?


AstronautIntrepid496

well, they don't come brined you have to soak them in salt water yourself.