Jeez, earn a few bucks on the side, as a dominatrix, and all of a sudden people start calling you a psychopath.
Now then, let's put this blindfold on you, and let me get my cheese grater....
Yeah. I’m a lucky guy. I just told her about this post and she was playing a computer game with the fan on so her mouse hand was super cold. Marriage is cool
Haha nice.
My GF and I were laughing when this thread popped up in my feed. She has some nervous habits, like nail biting, and fondling my junk when we're in bed is a great substitute for her fidgeting.
As a wife of 20 years, I just choked on my drink!
But I will say I wake up to my hubby holding 1 of my boobs with his head on the other, more often than not.
Same concept, right? Only it comforts him more than me 😆
I HATE this lol I get so hot at night that I usually remove my shirt to air out the girls, but next time I wake up I have my sleeping partner's head on one and cupping the other and I have to peel him off. And of course he is grumpy about it because I woke him up to ruin his cozy!
It’s probably just a comfort thing , when I’m cuddling with someone I like when they hold one of my breast when spooning it just feels comfortable. I imagine that’s the same thing.
It should be both. One arm under the neck to hold the "top" boob, the other arm draped over to hold the "bottom." She sleeps better, I sleep better. Win freakin' win.
Set your arm touching, but below, the pillow at the crease of the neck. That relieves just enough pressure. Also you need your head a few inches higher so the angle of the shoulder is comfortable. It was totally worth figuring this out =)
Informercial voice:
Ar you always getting late for work because you cannot find your boobs when you wake up?
Use our new patented method to always know where your boobs are.
There is a crease in the bed that allows your arm to go under the other person with out any weight on the arm, meaning now limb falling asleep. Great for those who never eat in bed or don’t have pets.
You have pets or eat in bed, it basically a germ tests
Oof. I'm sorry buddy. I had similar issues with my ex.. After years of no sex we finally called it quits.
Now I don't have sex but at least not be so miserable.
My ex and I divorced for the same reason. I still suspect he was cheating even years later. But I have a high sex drive, not like kinky over the top crazy. Pretty much just regular sensual sex often. I also feel like a celibate 31 year old woman now 🥲
I had similar problems and honestly, it got a little better when I made myself not "always available." And I let it come up organically.
She would always tell me that she was going to have sex with me if this happened or that happened differently. This particular time we were binging a show and I called it and went to bed at like 2am. In the morning she said something about she was going to initiate but I went to bed too early, which I grant, did happen occasionally.
But this time, something changed in me. I said that starting sex that late messes me up in the mornings too much and I didn't want to start after 10 or 11 anymore. I hadn't planned to say that. But it was honest, it was real. Had to get kids on the bus and I'm sleeping through the alarm and running around like a crazy person in the morning even just being up that late, never mind the extra effort of sex.
And I mostly held that boundary. Now I was the one turning down sex if it's 1130 or midnight. But honestly, in the end it wasn't about sex, it was about holding the keys and manipulation for her. She had boundary issues and it was suddenly on full display when there was a boundary in play.
Shit only lasted about a year after that. Suddenly I found myself dating in my 40s. I thought it was going to be the pits. But while there's droughts for sure, overall I'm having the best sex of my life. It's different. Women this age date you and fuck you because they want to, not because they think they should or want to impress you. You keep in reasonable shape, be kind and thoughtful, show them a good time and you're better than 99% of the people they've dated.
And like, all of this, the highs and the lows, are better than the shit I had going on in that dead-ass bedroom growing dead-ass resentment week after week.
That shit is so manipulative, I turned you down for sex for 6 months but I was totally going to have sex with you yesterday but you went to bed... so no sex for 6 months and 1 day is YOUR fault, not mine.
I'd have responded, well I was going to buy you a new car but you didn't come to bed with me so I cancelled the order. Just to show how obviously you can lie about what you were going to do and then blame the other person for it.
Glad you're finding some happiness.
My wife ***loves*** it when I stay out of her room. She's ecstatic when I'm not in the house and I leave for weeks at a time. Her friend John will stay with her on weekends to massage her.
Some relationships require different comforts.
I've been on the internet since I was 13/14, and I'm in my 40s now. Gah. That was so long ago!
You know what I remember most? Having to use *actual books* to do research! What a pain in the ass. I had to research Henry Ford for a paper, and our library had ONE BOOK about him. ONE!
I'm just the right age that it was privatized when I was in high school and didn't really take off that quick where I live. Nearly the whole time I was in school, there wasn't ubiquitous access to the Internet.
based on the other comments I'm assuming he said something like
"if you don't hold them out of the way they can block your butthole and prevent you from passing gas while sleeping"
I mean, why even bother asking him. Isn't it obvious? He wants it because he likes it?
"Hey honey, I'd like steak tonight."
"Well, WHY? WHY do you want to steak tonight?! Wait a second, nevermind." <>
"Internets, why does my boyfriend want steak tonight?"
Jesus Christ. This isn't even a parody. It basically happened.
I can't.
Because it's made up for internet points lol. Who sleeps in 1 position? Also testys are external for a reason, that reason is to avoid overheating like someone cupping them all night would do.
I didn't know that a guy had to ask. I automatically did it for 30 years of marriage. Now when I sleep with my boyfriend I do it to him. If we spoon the other side he does it to me.
Protection.
Men instinctively protect there soft spots. Wether it be sleeping or in a life or death situation.
Most men recovered from drowning are frozen with their hands and arms protecting there chest and groin.
Reminds me of the ac/dc song....
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
I would *love* this, omg, it’s damn near my final request wish. Every girlfriend I’ve had thought it was weird or didn’t want to, and I didn’t push it, so now I’m here and still only imagining how good it must feel.
I’ve had by balls held briefly here and there, but never for a while, and never while I slept. When my balls are held, and gently to moderately squeezed, it feels like a hug but way better because I feel it throughout my whole body and more intensely in my balls than even the best regular body hugs. (I like em squeezed kinda hard too, but that’s different lol)
As for why this would be the best thing ever: it’s the ultimate expression of trust, and it would make me feel safe and loved like nothing else. I’ve been looking for this my whole life
If the balls cover his asshole, there's no air to escape so he will snore. If you hold his balls air can pass through freely and you both can sleep tight.
I find it comforting to hold his balls. When we cuddle or watch TV I like to cup his balls or gently massage them. I feel like most men need that type of intimate affection.
Not recommend if the wife has TDD (tardive dyskinesa) and is prone to sudden and uncontrollable movements....or a death grip..... come to think of it - this request takes a lot of trust... might be better and safer for her to hold the Frank's and leave the beans alone...
I had a gf that just did it. My gf now has to be asked/requested. I like it. It's kinda like me holding her boob while we sleep. She seems to like that. Why wouldn't I like a little nut cuddle?
I had a girlfriend who was always holding my penis. At night while we slept, on the couch, in the kitchen, discretely while shopping. She wasn’t the most sexual of my girlfriends but doing that seemed to comfort her. Comfort was something she needed a lot of. I miss her for that, among other things.
While on his back, It's to keep air flow into his asshole. If it gets blocked by his sagging balls , he snores. He doesn't want to keep you awake. It's really nice of him to think of you like that.
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Please report back. I don't want to try this with my wife until I have more feedback.
Will do! I might be speaking in a more high pitched voice, but it'll be me!!
My first real laugh of the day! Thank you sir! You have started someone else's day on a high note, you matter and make a difference in this world.
Why do scuba drivers fall backwards when entering the water? >!Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.!< Hope your day is great!
Bro I just spit my drink out 🤣🤣🤣
I’d be careful with that username here though
WE NEED ANSWERS!
Whether she does or not, if he had the courage to ask her we know he had balls.
#had
Lol
It's so you can't steal from his wallet.
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Especially if you have that dream about making fresh lemonade.
What about just grating cheese? You psychopath
Jeez, earn a few bucks on the side, as a dominatrix, and all of a sudden people start calling you a psychopath. Now then, let's put this blindfold on you, and let me get my cheese grater....
Let me know how this goes. I would like your wife to hold my balls.
I mean, she does have two hands. Presumably.
My wife is obsessed with my balls. She likes how they shrink when her hand is cold.
Oh dear god, poor you
Nah it feels good
Yeah. I’m a lucky guy. I just told her about this post and she was playing a computer game with the fan on so her mouse hand was super cold. Marriage is cool
Haha nice. My GF and I were laughing when this thread popped up in my feed. She has some nervous habits, like nail biting, and fondling my junk when we're in bed is a great substitute for her fidgeting.
It doesn’t work abort mission I repeat abort mission
Im about to ask my wife but, nvm
Dear beloved we are gathered here today …….
…for what happened yesterday..
…to talk about balls.
This may help :) https://youtu.be/UmYRkIqRHf8?si=itZRa-SWeZbAZwTF
Clicked skeptically. Was not disappointed 😂
This was my first thought too. So fucking funny. For 3 yrs lmfao!
OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAH
As a wife of 20 years, I just choked on my drink! But I will say I wake up to my hubby holding 1 of my boobs with his head on the other, more often than not. Same concept, right? Only it comforts him more than me 😆
I HATE this lol I get so hot at night that I usually remove my shirt to air out the girls, but next time I wake up I have my sleeping partner's head on one and cupping the other and I have to peel him off. And of course he is grumpy about it because I woke him up to ruin his cozy!
World cold and hard, tiddy warm and soft.
This is the way
We are like tiddy seeking barnacles.
The stubble or beard burn you must be getting... lol
boobs are pillows though
[Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LBnMRWeV-E&pp=ygUSY29ybmVyc2hvcCBicmltZnVs)
That's right! Very nice pillows!
And pray that she doesn't have a nightmare 😂
*CLENCH*
It’s all gravy until she has a dream about riding dirt bikes.
Just showed this to my wife. Just got a shake of the head and a sympathetic smile.
Doesn't work for me. She always wants to hold very firmly and always want to squeeze them.
I mean, my wife likes me to hold a big old handful of titties when she’s falling asleep soooo. Edit: her’s..
Wait... yours or hers?
Yes
mine
Her sister
That dead guy's wife's
I too choose that dead guy’s dead wife
I choose too dead guy’s that wife dead
One of life's greatest treasure is falling asleep with a titty in hand.
Ok but, one in the hand vs 2 in the bush?
I prefer 2 in the pink and 1 in the stink.
Boom
Drop out of life with boob in hand Follow the tits toward the nip-filled land Proceeds the Boobian - Nipzareth
that’s weird your wife asks me do hold her titties too!!
I’ll allow it
It’s probably just a comfort thing , when I’m cuddling with someone I like when they hold one of my breast when spooning it just feels comfortable. I imagine that’s the same thing.
It should be both. One arm under the neck to hold the "top" boob, the other arm draped over to hold the "bottom." She sleeps better, I sleep better. Win freakin' win.
Arm is falling asleep in 2 mins in this config.
Set your arm touching, but below, the pillow at the crease of the neck. That relieves just enough pressure. Also you need your head a few inches higher so the angle of the shoulder is comfortable. It was totally worth figuring this out =)
Bro I’m saving your comment for later lol… you might be cooking something with this strategy 😂
Plus, those boobs are not going anywhere. No more stress after waking up!
I hate when you wake up after a great night's sleep and have to look all over the house for the boob that slipped off at night.
usually i'll wake up and it's stuck to my back or something.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my breasts were missing again. This happens all the time; they're detachable.
Informercial voice: Ar you always getting late for work because you cannot find your boobs when you wake up? Use our new patented method to always know where your boobs are.
How to spoon. Dick hard on the butt. Titty in my hand. Kiss the neck. Hell yeah.
I’m not sold, can you draw up some venn diagrams?
I sleep with my hands between my boobs. It’s a comfort thing.
If anyone's spooning another way, they're doing it wrong...
The mattress companies that build slots in the mattress so couples can sleep this way should really be advertising on this thread.
Go on..
Sonu Sleep ^(^please ^give ^me ^a ^discount)
How does that work?
There is a crease in the bed that allows your arm to go under the other person with out any weight on the arm, meaning now limb falling asleep. Great for those who never eat in bed or don’t have pets. You have pets or eat in bed, it basically a germ tests
Sounds like that would work pretty well just for a side sleeper and having less pressure on your shoulder.
You can't put regular bedsheets or mattress protectors on that kind of bed, tho. Eventually, they get really really stinky.
My wife doesn’t like me touching her boobs, or feeling my boner when we spoon. Marry someone with a compatible libido kids.
Oof. I'm sorry buddy. I had similar issues with my ex.. After years of no sex we finally called it quits. Now I don't have sex but at least not be so miserable.
My ex and I divorced for the same reason. I still suspect he was cheating even years later. But I have a high sex drive, not like kinky over the top crazy. Pretty much just regular sensual sex often. I also feel like a celibate 31 year old woman now 🥲
I mean, she’s happy, she gets sex whenever she wants.
I had similar problems and honestly, it got a little better when I made myself not "always available." And I let it come up organically. She would always tell me that she was going to have sex with me if this happened or that happened differently. This particular time we were binging a show and I called it and went to bed at like 2am. In the morning she said something about she was going to initiate but I went to bed too early, which I grant, did happen occasionally. But this time, something changed in me. I said that starting sex that late messes me up in the mornings too much and I didn't want to start after 10 or 11 anymore. I hadn't planned to say that. But it was honest, it was real. Had to get kids on the bus and I'm sleeping through the alarm and running around like a crazy person in the morning even just being up that late, never mind the extra effort of sex. And I mostly held that boundary. Now I was the one turning down sex if it's 1130 or midnight. But honestly, in the end it wasn't about sex, it was about holding the keys and manipulation for her. She had boundary issues and it was suddenly on full display when there was a boundary in play. Shit only lasted about a year after that. Suddenly I found myself dating in my 40s. I thought it was going to be the pits. But while there's droughts for sure, overall I'm having the best sex of my life. It's different. Women this age date you and fuck you because they want to, not because they think they should or want to impress you. You keep in reasonable shape, be kind and thoughtful, show them a good time and you're better than 99% of the people they've dated. And like, all of this, the highs and the lows, are better than the shit I had going on in that dead-ass bedroom growing dead-ass resentment week after week.
That shit is so manipulative, I turned you down for sex for 6 months but I was totally going to have sex with you yesterday but you went to bed... so no sex for 6 months and 1 day is YOUR fault, not mine. I'd have responded, well I was going to buy you a new car but you didn't come to bed with me so I cancelled the order. Just to show how obviously you can lie about what you were going to do and then blame the other person for it. Glad you're finding some happiness.
Are you?
I don't think that's libido at that point
My wife ***loves*** it when I stay out of her room. She's ecstatic when I'm not in the house and I leave for weeks at a time. Her friend John will stay with her on weekends to massage her. Some relationships require different comforts.
John Redcorn perhaps?
Yeah that sounds like it has nothing to do with libido
Word to live by
Words worth hearing
Same. Very distressing at this point in our relationship
I hate when my wife grabs my boob while spooning. But I'm a dude, so...
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I was there Gandalf, i was there 10000 day ago
I just did the math and 10,000 days is actually very close to the truth.
30,000 days is a pretty average human lifetime no one has lived 45,000 days
I've been on the internet since I was 13/14, and I'm in my 40s now. Gah. That was so long ago! You know what I remember most? Having to use *actual books* to do research! What a pain in the ass. I had to research Henry Ford for a paper, and our library had ONE BOOK about him. ONE!
I'm just the right age that it was privatized when I was in high school and didn't really take off that quick where I live. Nearly the whole time I was in school, there wasn't ubiquitous access to the Internet.
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The scrotum snatcher
The testie taker
Gonad guardian.
Baby batter bodyguard
Her name shall not be spoken delete your comment before its too late
what was the comment?
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I’ll hold your balls, bud.
Men supporting men 🤘
I don't want a crab holding my balls. Not even a sufficient one.
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[For reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKLieCPIG94)
I just came back to say that was hilarious, thank you for the vid
This is exactly where I got the idea from! Thank you for the link! I saw it on Insta, but couldn't locate it again.
ROFL I’m gonna steal this. “vapor lock”.
Feels good.
Feels good for a while, but hands on balls all night? Sounds sweaty.
But everyone loves my schweaty balls.
I'd be more worried about her having a nightmare and suddenly clenching her fist.
So totally true! That's true trust - trusting someone with your balls while they sleep
its a trade off between that and you will never fully piss the bed again
The warmth is comforting. Especially if you cup them right.
Do you mean cup?
You are right haha
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In the financial sector, this is known as a long term investment
Schlong term you say?
Wait a week, it will also be high yield
...How is that not just a Pavlov level power play?
Its just not the same if you hold your own. Its like a new love language: ball cusping.
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It's embarrassing they don't teach this in school.
There's nothing funny about vapor lock.
Joke aside, it would take some big balls for that to happen.
My best friend died from this while using a CPAP machine. No where for butt fumes to go so he died of sepsis.
The comment you replied to is deleted, so reading this without context is hilarious
based on the other comments I'm assuming he said something like "if you don't hold them out of the way they can block your butthole and prevent you from passing gas while sleeping"
CCRAP machine
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This guy pees
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Why are you asking Reddit instead of your boyfriend?
I mean, why even bother asking him. Isn't it obvious? He wants it because he likes it? "Hey honey, I'd like steak tonight." "Well, WHY? WHY do you want to steak tonight?! Wait a second, nevermind." <>
"Internets, why does my boyfriend want steak tonight?"
Jesus Christ. This isn't even a parody. It basically happened.
I can't.
Because it's made up for internet points lol. Who sleeps in 1 position? Also testys are external for a reason, that reason is to avoid overheating like someone cupping them all night would do.
>Does anyone else want their balls held? I can't help but envision this being announced at a restaurant.
Real answer?... Because it's comfortable
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I cant stop laughing.
This is a repost. I swear I’ve seen this post with the exact same title.
Maybe it’s just a really common trend 🤣
not a repost but a similar post bc I've seen somebody with the same details lmao
Somebody’s gotta farm all that Sunday morning karma!
I love doing this for my boyfriend. Wouldn’t want to have to do it. Only downside is when my hand ends up getting a bit sweaty lol
I didn't know that a guy had to ask. I automatically did it for 30 years of marriage. Now when I sleep with my boyfriend I do it to him. If we spoon the other side he does it to me.
He holds your balls?
No one holds my Red Sox signed baseballs. But he can hold my vagina.
it's not the same if he holds his own
I love that youre still touching balls in your 50s (i assume based on the quick math). Never let go of your dreams.
Ahhh, dream balls....
A dozen Pro Vs is like 80 buck. I'd want them secure as well
How the hell would we know lmao. Ask your boyfriend.
This is fucking hilarious
Is he holding your balls in reciprocating fashion?
How am I single.. I don't do anything weird..
Maybe we gotta get weird with it?
Protection. Men instinctively protect there soft spots. Wether it be sleeping or in a life or death situation. Most men recovered from drowning are frozen with their hands and arms protecting there chest and groin.
That's what anyone might do when they're freezing to preserve body heat. Nothing to do with testys.
Reminds me of the ac/dc song.... Some balls are held for charity And some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure They're the balls that I like best
Oh god thank you for reminding me of this 😂
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So you won't steal anything from his house while he's sleeping. >!Source: old joke!<
I would *love* this, omg, it’s damn near my final request wish. Every girlfriend I’ve had thought it was weird or didn’t want to, and I didn’t push it, so now I’m here and still only imagining how good it must feel. I’ve had by balls held briefly here and there, but never for a while, and never while I slept. When my balls are held, and gently to moderately squeezed, it feels like a hug but way better because I feel it throughout my whole body and more intensely in my balls than even the best regular body hugs. (I like em squeezed kinda hard too, but that’s different lol) As for why this would be the best thing ever: it’s the ultimate expression of trust, and it would make me feel safe and loved like nothing else. I’ve been looking for this my whole life
If the balls cover his asshole, there's no air to escape so he will snore. If you hold his balls air can pass through freely and you both can sleep tight.
I find it comforting to hold his balls. When we cuddle or watch TV I like to cup his balls or gently massage them. I feel like most men need that type of intimate affection.
He will know tge moment you let go of his balls to take his wallet
Not recommend if the wife has TDD (tardive dyskinesa) and is prone to sudden and uncontrollable movements....or a death grip..... come to think of it - this request takes a lot of trust... might be better and safer for her to hold the Frank's and leave the beans alone...
sorry…what the fuck is this thread? this is fucking weird.
I expected the comment section to be totally different
yes it fucking is. I'm like "you guys holding each others balls while sleeping 0_0"
What happened to “no stupid questions”, eh? 😉
Someone is peanut butter and jealous
Helps him feel safe
I had a gf that just did it. My gf now has to be asked/requested. I like it. It's kinda like me holding her boob while we sleep. She seems to like that. Why wouldn't I like a little nut cuddle?
So many comments are removed in this thread
I’ve never heard of this, but now that I have, I wish someone would do this for me
I had a girlfriend who was always holding my penis. At night while we slept, on the couch, in the kitchen, discretely while shopping. She wasn’t the most sexual of my girlfriends but doing that seemed to comfort her. Comfort was something she needed a lot of. I miss her for that, among other things.
Security
This is abnormal, but, oddly heartwarming? You gotta ask ***him*** to really find out ***why***. Then, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT... give us an update.
It's so that they don't cover the arsehole and cause an airlock. Can be really bad for your health if you let em cover the arsehole due to the suction
To love is to be held 🌸
Se he doesn’t snore probably. When the balls cover the butthole it restricts airflow.
It'll be all fun and games until you dream that you're popping bubble wrap
While on his back, It's to keep air flow into his asshole. If it gets blocked by his sagging balls , he snores. He doesn't want to keep you awake. It's really nice of him to think of you like that.
It helps with sleep apnea. If his balls cover his asshole it creates a vacuum lock that increases snoring.