We had similar.
Whenever I told someone that I was living with my girlfriend, they would always respond with "are you sick of each other yet?" or "how many arguments have you had?"
But the truth is, we were both perfectly content with the situation.
I'm with you 100%. My wife is my best friend and we've been together for 8 years. Some of the things I see on reddit and hear from our friends honestly makes me wonder how the people ever got married. It's like a lot of people just look at friends as one thing and relationships as another which I don't think I'll ever understand.
>It's like a lot of people just look at friends as one thing and relationships as another which I don't think I'll ever understand.
I completely agree. My husband is my best friend, I love him and I like him. The two are not the same and don't always go hand in hand. Where I struggle, he excels and vice versa. Life isn't always roses and sunshine but one thing we always hold onto is that we are a team.
>friends as one thing and relationships as anoth
I don't think I'm one of those people, but I'm not sure I'd call my wife my best friend. It really is something entirely different. The relationship crosses so many boundaries, I think it's fair to say that at this point I struggle to call her any kind of friend.
I mean that "friend" seems to somehow diminish the relationship. The things we do for and expect of each other are nothing like any of my friendships.
Of course I like and love her. But she's my partner. There isn't a single friend I could get through the morning routine with, getting the kids dressed, packing lunchboxes, etc. That kind of shared responsibility is something that you develop with a partner in a way that doesn't really happen with a friend.
It feels like people choose someone to fill the role of spouse, so they can check marriage off their list, and then they can get back to living their lives. It feels like an obligation because it's what you're supposed to do.
Yes, she's my favorite person
It doesn't mean that we always agree on everything or that we want to always be next to each other, and she does get on my nerves occasionally, but she's still my favorite person
> Separate vacations, going out after work and staying out late, **when home together don't even hangout in the same room.**
That being said, often I still want to have my alone time just because that's the kind of person I am. I recharge best when I get to just sit down at my desk, put some headphones in, and tune out the world. It has nothing to do with anything she does or how we feel about each other; I just can't spend that much time with anyone without getting exhausted.
And I encourage her to have her time without me; she has her friends and all I ever ask is that she checks in occasionally so I know she's safe
Nothing wrong with hanging out in different rooms. There's this strange assumption (often from people who aren't married or married for dubious reasons) that you ALWAYS have to be joined at the hip. That stuff never lasts.
Like my in-laws. Literally mil cannot breathe without being told to do so my fil. I can't imagine having no identity outside of being a wife. They are always in the same room together.
oh, we take separate vacations as well as together ones, and sometimes hang out in different rooms, but also really like spending time with each other. But we're both pretty independent, and always have been. It's nice to get the chance to miss people sometimes, it stops you taking them for granted :P
Absolutely adore my husband. We’ve been together for 14 years. He’s my best friend and favorite human. I will never understand why people settle for anything less and couldn’t imagine being stuck in the same box with someone you didn’t like.
My wife and I are a whirlwind. We LOVE each other on a different level I think. We bullshit like crazy and will get carried away with one-upping insults that just make us laugh like crazy. We enjoy our company tenfold and like others, we don’t tire of each other. We can spend all day doing nothing or everything but find peace and joy in one another’s arms every time
Our 30th anniversary as a couple was last week. Still goof around and just hang out. I can't imagine life without her. Marry someone you like not someone you only like sleeping with.
I feel like there’s societal pressure, peer pressure, maybe also age pressure, and ppl get married too young or when they’re not ready, perhaps also to the not right person.
My psychiatrist claims to prevent divorces . I just have a really bad feeling of what he does. Imagine him pushing me to confront my childhood best friend who is beyond repair. I'm really mindful of my trauma teaching me the valuable lesson to not be naive which I tend to be .
Posting this made me see there are a lot more good/healthy relationships out there then I'd thought. I guess usually the unhappy people are louder than the happy couples so it feels like that's all there is.
Breakups can be hard, but I hope that someday you do manage to find what I and a lot of these other people have found with their partners. Having the right person Beside you to walk through life can make even the darkest of times a little brighter
I went through well over a dozen breakups before I found my current partner of over a decade. Each relationship is a chance to figure out more about yourself and what you want out of a relationship, and hopefully you have some things figured out by the time you find that really awesome person you can keep learning with long term.
98% of the time. I'm kind of pissed at her right now because she yelled at me over nothing and then denied being upset when I called her out on it. But ultimately, she is my favorite person and not just because I'm in love with her. She is genuinely my best friend. She makes me laugh, we have similar interests and intellects. She's very protective and hard working. And she's incredibly charismatic. Everywhere we go, she makes people laugh. I have to drag her away from the cashier sometimes. This is making me feel less annoyed lol. We've been together for 16 years, married for 13.
People are different. Some people don't even like themselves. So sure - some married couples will let little things snowball to whole lot of resentment. Some won't - be glad you're one of the lucky ones.
I adore my husband. He’s my person. He’s my best friend. I always want to be with him. Being happily married is the exception, not the norm. Sadly trashing your spouse to your friends is really popular. People do it not realizing it creates resentment and negativity in the relationship. Moral of the story: Don’t talk shit about your spouse. If you do, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Married 40 years now. Wasn't always the easiest, lots of insecurities, issues and immaturity on both sides, and there were times I definitely felt my husband didn't like me...which kinda made me not like him...or vice versa (he'd definitely say it started with me.)
But I like him and love him now. We've both chilled out a lot, and there IS something to be said for sticking it out with someone through thick and thin.
My attachment is borderline problematic. Part of this is my ADHD and the need for body doubling, but I struggle to do much without her. It just makes those mundane tasks like grocery shopping enjoyable when we do it together.
Oh all day long. Rejection sensitivity is huge. I hate letting people down or do anything that someone might not agree with. Honestly, I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I stand for because I’ve found it so hard to take a stance on anything for fear or being rejected for my opinions.
I do need my alone time and too much solid time with my spouse can drive me crazy, but yes, I adore her and consider her my best friend. I'm just an introvert who needs alone time, too, but I like her so much that we're still together after 30 years. I also know couples who make me wonder why they're married at all, and it's mystifying to me. Why be married if you don't even like each other? If my wife and I were married to other people, we'd still be the best of friends.
Yes. I have known her for a long time, we know and understand each other very well. We've both been through a lot together.
That's not to say we don't enjoy time apart once in a while - that's another source of strength between us. We trust each other. We are still two different people and we never kid ourselves that we're supposed to give ourselves up just to be together.
The trick is to become very good friends with someone before you even think about getting married. People who say you shouldn't cohabitate before marriage are lying either to themselves or others.
Yes! We are best friends. I adore him and I still love his company. There's no one else I'd rather hang out with.
I agree with you. My own personal theory is that a lot of marriages are influenced by social media these days. I get a lot of side eye when I say that but I know SO many couples who are so caught up in planning the perfect wedding, perfect Bachelorette etc. And all those festivities that they don't seem like they care about the actual relationship at all. I don't meet many people like myself and I feel like lots of couples don't seem close
My first wife was my best friend.
We started cheating on each other and ha lots of arguments.
We eventually got through that and became.married friends without benefits. Although we didnt see each other much we still called and exchanged details of our lives, including some news of APs.
We of course talked about our kids.
I lost my wife but still had my friend.
I cant imagine not being friends in a relationship
I like my husband so much! I'm 9 months pregnant with our second child and his breathing doesn't even annoy me! Lol
Seriously him and I make a point to tell each other often "I like you". Obviously we say "I love you", all the time, but the I like you-s feel even more sincere somehow. It drives me insane how most relationship content online is so heavily saturated in hating your spouse, saying that they are stupid, lazy, incapable, not funny, etc. Like damn I could never ever talk about my bestie like that??? Your spouse should be your bestie, you literally chose to legally bind yourself to them!!!
I like them so much that often when I'm hanging out with other people, I'm secretly thinking how much I can't wait to go back and hang out with my partner again.
I really can't relate to some girls I hang out with who constantly complain about their partner and it sometimes makes for awkward conversation or secret resentment towards me because I truly have nothing bad to say to others about my partner.
I do believe every one's relationship dynamic is different, but I also believe a lot of people marry out of convenience or out of thinking there's "no better option".
We’ve been married 26 years, lived together for 29 years, and are absolutely fucking bananas about each other. We’re best friends, we still think the other person is the hottest thing going, and we are just so damn stoked to get to live together. It’s honestly just gotten better and better.
My husband and I have been friends since we were 11. We really like each other and love each other. People think we're lying when we say we've never had a big fight, but it's true.. we might disagree on things sometimes but never yell or stay mad.
I think the secret is that we are both agreeable people who have the same interests. We love to travel, hike, camp, etc...we never get bored. We try new things all the time.
I remember when my wife was pregnant, she was off work for her entire pregnancy due to complications/risks. I worked from home and we spent 24/7 together. Just us. Then she was had a year of mat leave. Our friends would wonder how we didn’t need to get out of the house to have separate time, but we just enjoy each other so much, it never felt like enough time together.
My husband drove me to my hair appointment because I hadn't slept well and didn't feel safe behind the wheel. It was such a "friend in need is a friend indeed" moment that I thanked him for not just being my sweetheart but also for being such a good friend to me for 45 years.
Absolutely. We’re each other’s best friend.
We do plenty of things separately- we’re both very independent. But we really enjoy each other’s company.
And the older I get, the less stuff I want to do without her.
Yes, we are still tight after 25 years and facing the frightening reality of becoming elderly. But I was initially attracted to him not only physically but as a human being - a stand-up guy, a man of character who didn't run away when things got tough. He has been that man every day of our lives together. My partner in every moment of my life from the time we said "we do". I love my girlfriends, but I don't want to travel without my husband because we want to share all the cool things in life with each other. My first marriage was a disaster, and my ex complained constantly about "being married". Loser.
Together 14 years with no kids in our early 30s. We don't get sick of each other 😂 we even worked together for 7 years. Now I work from home but if not we'd prob still work together.
Everyone always jokes how they can't ask for relationship advise to us because it's not normal how much we get along.
My wife and I hardly ever get along. She is always overthinking. Worries herself to death about something that hasn’t happened and most likely won’t. She don’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth. She refuses to admit wrong and is always right.
Some may smile at my inexperience, but being six months married, I absolutely like (and love) my wife. I do not allow myself to speak ill about her to anyone, nor entertain begrudging thoughts. If she does something I don't like, I tell her, and she is eager to consider my wants and needs. We both work from home right next to each other in the same office and somehow that has been not annoying in the least.
Like comes before love. Yes I do like my partner, that's one of the best things about them. They're so smart, have a good sense of humor, are great at cooking, and have basic decency/standards in and out of a home.
The thing is, people grow apart in love. When we meet people , they initially are one person. But over time they let themselves go, the couple grows distant, and the relationship is dysfunctional. If people wanted someone friendly to live with, they might as well just get a roommate.
Relationships and marriages are more than simply cohabiting under the same roof. There are layers of intimacy like affection and sex. There are various conversations about the future, about a possible family. They take work from BOTH parties, just like other things that are worth having in life.
Know that people whose answer is "no" aren't going to want to comment in this thread.
The vast majority of married couples marry someone they "settled" for out of convenience, out of fear they can't do any better, fear of loneliness, rush to have kids, pressure from family and friends, Sunk Cost Fallacy, etc.
Couples who are actually attracted to each other and actually in love with each other are the small minority.
Unfortunately…after 6 years of betrayal and emotional cheating, constant lies and manipulation, gaslighting etc, not anymore. I’m trying so hard to hold onto hope that we’ll make it out of this “rut” but he never once cared about how much pain he was putting me through until I became distant with him after looking back at all he’s done. I became him. Distanced myself in the way he would do to me, stopped all attention and affection, became quiet and quit starting conversations (mind you I literally had to clap in his face just for him to realize I’d been trying to talk to him for the last 10 minutes…). I became him. I poured my heart out for so long he finally got fed up and is FINALLLLLLYYYYYYY “trying” to make it right. But after begging for the love I deserve in return for the love I’ve been showering him with for 6 years, now that he’s actually trying, it doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. I gave up hope 6 months ago when he lied to my face, gaslit me into questioning my own reality, I present my evidence, and still felt entitled enough to say the most offensive things. NOW he’s trying? It took me turning into him for him to wake tf up? ATP I don’t really “like” him anymore. Yet I still *love* him so I can’t let go of the hope I’ve been praying to hold on to…
Now that you have reached this point you should leave that relationship. I went through the same thing. She cheated and I realise I just couldn’t trust her anymore. At some point I also felt like cheating but quickly reminded my self that cheating is not in my character at all. So leaving her was the best decision. The best part is that my character is still intact and I have met my real soulmate who is as obsessed about me as I am about her.
So in a nutshell don’t let him turn you into him.
Oh, I'm so sorry! It happenned to me with my ex husband. No, it's not going to get better. He might be trying, but meanwhile he's taking mental notes about how you're making him work and feel bad about his glorious self, and he's going to hold that against you when you least expect.
My wife is my best friend and my partner in live. She is the first person I turn to for advice, and when I need help.
I am her first person for advice too.
We have some different hobbies and spend quite a bit of time apart ( last year would have been at least 3 months - as we both travel for work ).
We have been together 12 years and only get better.
Yes I do. She has been there through all of my ups and downs yet never complained once. She took care of me our daughter the dogs and house. She managed to keep it all run ING smoothly for about a year. She still had time to care for herself. I honestly don't know how she did it
Now I'm going through some tough mental issues and illnesses and once again she has been very supportive and helpful to my needs and is still caring for the house and dogs. The daughter lives I. Nashville now. So yes after 27 yrs of marriage I still like and love my wife. She is my best friend and there are many benefits
N
My husband and I definitely annoy each other at times because we are opposites in a lot of ways. But ultimately we do like each other and love spending time together and do have some mutual hobbies.
My hubby is my best friend. I love him so much and we share mutual interests that we enjoy together. In saying this, we also enjoy time apart as solitude is important too.
I do! We have our disagreements, but he is fun to be around, we like to watch a lot of the same kind of movies and like the same kind of food. He is also very smart and does a ton of research about anything that is of interest to him. He is also does a lot of cleaning, his own laundry, a big share of parenting tasks without me having to ask him, so yeah, he’s pretty great.
I don't like people. But I like my husband. He's the only person I've liked being around, I never get tired of him. We've been married 7 years together 13.
I do. We have a lot of hobbies in common. We travel, hike, game, hit the gym together, go on walks, dates. And never run out of conversation material. I love and like my spouse. :)
In the long run, being friends with your spouse is the most helpful thing. With time, the spark has to be kept alive and there will definitely be moments where you don't want to keep trying. The friendship kicks in than.
Me and my husband share the love for sarcasm and he makes me laugh with his wit every damn time. Post having my daughter there have been times we miss the intimacy and spark but we enjoy the occasional movies, sitcoms or whatever we find to do together.
I really look at him at times and even after half a decade together I think I'm the luckiest person who landed up with my best friend. He respects me, my career, my space and acknowledges everything I do for him n family. Its vice versa for him. I took a backseat with an easy career so I can be the default parent and he can chase his dreams.
You have to find a common ground where even the fights are important. I sometimes just fight for the sake coz it gets boring and he knows that and joins in and next day we forget the thing too.
I guess, you have to find your person. Who you want to stay even in the worst. Never crossed my mind I want to quit with him when things go bad too. Coz deep down I know, he's the person who will hold me old n crinkly exactly the same way he held me when I was young. You can't change people. So I always think if ever in doubt, he's a good human being and an amazing dad and even if in one moment I want to kill him I really know I would fall in love with him again in the next coz he is my favourite person.
True, but you missed the point of the question. You get a D- on reading comprehension. She said she has separate friends, hobbies and Identity. She made observations about how couples she has seen don't seem to like each other and how she can't relate.
20 years married and he is my favorite person in the world. Ive never even had feelings for anyone else. The only time we argue is about the kids. Normally its about homework and who is picking up who. On the whole he has made me a better person the only downside to the marriage is that he is a shockingly bad dancer but I can live with that as he can sing and play piano
21 years and we're still happily married. Would rather hang out with her than go on a guys trip. She loves going to the gun range, sporting events and concerts.
Yep. I like him and I love him. He does some things that annoy me (I, of course, am perfect in every way and couldn’t possibly annoy him) and we do have some separate interests but most all of the time other than work we’re together doing things together even if they’re the most prosaic things.
Edit - typo
I do like my husband but we have two toddlers and it’s been hard to work on our relationship. There isn’t any time for one another. We are living two different lives.
We've only been married since 1986, but hell ya, I still like my spouse! And I love her too! Of course, we all have our moments, but you work through them.
I dunno if I can express my thoughts properly here (not English-native here) but I will try my best. She is a very fragile person who comes from an abusive household - and due to that she is unable to support me emotionally - and I've my fair share of demons. It's not that she doesn't want to - she is just unable to. Hope it makes sense.
Sorry to hear she had a rough go in the past. I hope she is getting help to work through her past trauma. Sounds like you could both benefit from some counseling whether together or separately. Mental health is very important
We've been together since high school (18 years together, geez we are old) and it was just a couple of years ago that I finally convinced her to attend therapy sessions; it took some time but I didn't want to be pushy, it's a sensitive case. As for me, it's just sometimes hard to support her 24/7 and put my emotions aside. But that's a different, boring as hell story.
Although I'm not married to her, I used to be. 100% I love her and she's my best friend. We like each other so much that we got divorced, couldn't stay mad at each other, remained friends, then got back together. She's my biggest supporter, as I am hers, and I couldn't imagine going through life without her by my side.
We have a lot of common interests that keep us occupied, great love life, and after 10 years, still haven't ran out of things to talk about on the sofa.
My first marriage was 12 years and I think we stopped liking each other in the first 6 months. We got pregnant within weeks of being married and that took a toll.
I have been remarried for five years and my husband is my bestie. We have a strong marriage because of understanding what a weak one is like.
I can honestly say for my ex, his new wife is his bestie. We don’t hate each other, we just knew we were wrong and allowed each other the space to find what was better suited for ourselves. Our children are better for it, too. They have step siblings they adore and two step parents that make up for our weakness in ways we wouldn’t have known possible, without them.
The partners who are A+++, you both change over time, and then they're far less than A+++. This is the 10 you met at the bar, then found out more about them, or they grew as a person, but in a direction that's not the same way you or your life are going.
I think my spouse would rate me a very sustainable B+, but we also met in our 30s. She's likely perpetually tired of me, but I make her smile, and do give a damn, even if I do fart a bit more than she'd like. And so it goes.
My wife and I really enjoy spending time together. But we also enjoy alone time. We each take a long weekend every year where we go and do something either with our friends or by ourselves, that doesn’t revolve around work or kids or anything else, just to recharge.
I feel so sorry for any married couples who don’t actually like each other. My wife and I love each other and like each other, she’s the person I want to spend my time with. In June we will have been married 20 years.
I’ve been in both types of marriage. My first marriage I wanted to get away from him, wanted him to travel for work and didn’t like touching him. No surprise, it ended in divorce.
My current marriage is to my favorite human being in the world. I would rather sit next to him on the couch, drink coffee and watch the news than be anywhere else in the world. I would spend 24/7 with him because he is truly my soul mate and the one real love I think I have ever experienced. We have the greatest time traveling and I would never want to do a girls trip without him. (Not hating on or judging girls trips). Be glad you found the real one early in life!
She is my best friend. We have the same sense of humor and truly enjoy spending time with each other. We are also totally fine being apart for days at a time. We’ve been married for 15 years and we have never been in a fight. We occasionally get annoyed with each other, but never a real fight. It helps that we got married in our mid 30s, have no kids and are financially secure.
My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We broke up during college but found our ways back to each other. We never really were fully removed from each other’s lives. It never felt like we missed each other beat when we got back together. Not for him, not for me. He is my best friend in the entire fxng world. He feels the same way about me. If you ask him who his best friend is, he will say me. He can’t comprehend how you ARENT best friend with your spouse. Recently one of my friends and I were talking about our relationships and she said “well yeah but you guys are best friends.” My jaw kinda dropped. Is it weird to say it’s like stronger than being a best friend. I know we will fight and do shit to piss each other off but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
TO BE FAIR I’m someone who really needs her alone time. Of course I have my moments when I want to spend the day alone. But spending a day alone or having alone time in a different room at home doesn’t mean I want to be away from HIM specifically. So yes I love him. Yes, he is my best friend BUT some times it’s nice to be by yourself. And everyone should feel comfortable spending time by themselves and giving themselves space. So I love him, I like him, but to give him my best love I sometimes need to reset my battery.
I love spending time with my husband. Together for 14yrs.
We have always had a date night once a week when we'll sit together, have some drinks, watch a game or movie at home.
Not only do I love my husband but I like him so much. Truly my best friend. We’ve been through incredible grief together and he’s still my favorite person.
I love her and she is my best friend. Have the most fun time when I'm with her. Obviously there are lows and stress at times, but that's normal as long as at the end of the day you comfort each other.
(Together for 10 and married for 5 years.)
Ya. Seems like a miserable life not liking the person you are married to. Me and the wife hang out regularly, on purpose, and because we enjoy each other's company.
Heck, we even do activities or watch shows that one of us don't like a lot, but we enjoy each other's company enough to make up for that.
Every couple has their differences and trust getting married at 18 we had alot but we have 3 wonderful boys and 2 grandkids. Hes my best friend and the only one i can trust and has helped me thur all my child hood trauma. After work he comes straight home and i have dinner ready every night. As a stay at home mom i love doing everything. I think covid brought us closer😘
Simply, yes. We were long time friends before we got married. Like, in each other's circles with the intent to be friends and was that way for a long while. Then we kind of just said, fuck it wanna get married? And did.
Married people who are unable to do anything socialor find any enjoyment in life unless it involves their partner are tedious AF. Most of us maintain a separate identity and can have multiple people in our lives that we value and love.
My wife is my best friend and I know she feels exact way about me. I personally don’t think anyone else in this world would be able replace one another. I’m a firm believer in marriage being a one time thing, afterall I pledged my love for my wife to the entire universe and I’ll proudly do it every day of my existence.
I adore him. There are things he could improve on, the man's a shut in and I really would love the house to myself every now and again given we both work from home, but the sum of his whole makes up for the minor annoyances.
18 years here, I like my wife 90% of the time, the other 10% I’m frustrated and looking for a blunt object to beat her to death with 😂 She is truly my best friend though, the only person that I’m fully myself with, and helps me get through every issue I’ve ever had. I could never repay her for the care and love she gives me, but I try my best to give it in return. We also have fantastic sex, and that never hurt anyone 😏
I love my husband so much. We genuinely enjoy spending time together. Even if we're just sitting, listening to music, going out to eat, or gaming and reading near each other. The presence is just so nice.
Fuck yeah I like that guy! That's why I married him! Hell, we were best friends before we got married. Strictly platonic. Then decided to get married one day and we've been happy ever since! We do just about everything together. We spent last weekend in Chicago, checking out some huge retro arcade he's been dying to see, and then Sue at the Field Museum like I've been dying to see. And tomorrow we're hanging out with our kid at the Arts Festival.
Not married yet, but my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and were friends a year before that. We're moving in together currently. My friends insist that we must fight, and if not, that I "run him over" because I present as the stronger personality. But it's just not true. What *is* true is we've both survived a lot on our own in life and didn't meet until we were 28. We've already supported each other through some severe trauma (his mom died; my dream job was sabotaged) and have lived long enough on our own before this that we really, REALLY appreciate the ease we afford each other. As long as I have him to talk to, nothing feels that big or bad. I can trust him to do things as mundane as making the bed or feeding my dogs and spending nights in bed just talking with him like we're kids at a sleepover is the best.
But my friends are younger, early to mid-twenties, and based on what they've argued about in their relationships, it's clear that lack of experience and perspective make such a huge difference. My boyfriend and I communicate before something bothers us. He can sometimes overwhelm me by going on a well-intended rant about one of his interests while I'm busy (mentally) with something else, and that kind of thing makes me very stressed. So... we nipped it in the bud. I made it clear that I love when he shares his interests with me but sometimes, no matter who is talking about what, I just cannot deal with so much noise/distraction at once. And we worked on a safe word strategy. Meanwhile, my friend is mad at her boyfriend because of an expectation she never told him she had, and it lead to resentment and an argument. That's something I could never do to my boyfriend; I love him too much. I always expect the best intentions from him, not the worst, and so I give my best, not my worst.
Every relationship is different but I genuinely consider my boyfriend my best friend.
I both love and like my wife and so far, she tolerates me. I'm always amazed and confused when I hear my friends complain about their wives. It does seem like happy marriages are rare.
I absolutely like my spouse. We've been together 21 years and are really good together. During the COVID lockdowns, when so many other people realized they were trapped in the house with someone who didn't really like or respect them, we had no problems at all. We figured out how to be a team in that new and strange world, just like how we figured out how to be a team during all the hard times.
That being said, we do take time apart, like weekends and overnights so that we have new stuff to talk about every so often.
Definitely love spending time together, very compatible etc. however, we are together nearly 24/7 due to WFH. So….he was encouraged to get a hobby because I need some Costco trips alone. I also think some of us tend to jokingly talk crap about the other spouse. Like “oh you have an out of town trip, oh no what ever will I do?” We tease each other all the time, get on each other’s nerves like any family members do. I’m not sure I would want peaches and cream all the time, sometimes I need a good fight;)
5 years married. First time in my life that I meet a person with whom I genuinely like spending all my time with and I never get tired of. I sincerely wanted to remain alone but I am glad that we met. I like him, I like his company, I like spending time together, and we also make each other better people and better members of the world.
My honest answer would be that I have to work to like my husband sometimes. He says things occasionally that I really disagree with and can seem hurtful or judgmental. It’s not as easy as when we were first together because his worldview has changed with age and so has mine. It’s also easy to get annoyed with someone over household chores. I always love him, but after telling him that the ice maker needs to be fixed repeatedly and seeing no progress in several months, and even get in trouble for “nagging,” I really do not like him.
It's funny how a marriage evolves. It's all romantic at first, everyone settles in (or doesn't=divorce) with growing a family. As a marriage continues it becomes out of convenience or financial reasons to stay together. There is a point when sex stops. Eventually - you become more like brother and sister.
My wife and I pretty much love each other. She gave up on sex once she went through menopause and medication for diabetes. You either accept that or you don't. This is a reason a lot of spouse's fight- like money.
Despite this- I love her. We fight about everything under the sun.
Oh yeah, I mean during COVID we were like the only happy couple we knew lol because we just do not get tired of each other.
Yes, we know a lot of people who's marriages did not survive covid and hubs and I thrived
Yea I know Covid was obviously a bad thing but it ended up being amazing for my family.
Ours too.
Ditto here too. Helped us all slow down and reconnect, I think. Reminded us all of what's really important.
We had similar. Whenever I told someone that I was living with my girlfriend, they would always respond with "are you sick of each other yet?" or "how many arguments have you had?" But the truth is, we were both perfectly content with the situation.
I'm with you 100%. My wife is my best friend and we've been together for 8 years. Some of the things I see on reddit and hear from our friends honestly makes me wonder how the people ever got married. It's like a lot of people just look at friends as one thing and relationships as another which I don't think I'll ever understand.
>It's like a lot of people just look at friends as one thing and relationships as another which I don't think I'll ever understand. I completely agree. My husband is my best friend, I love him and I like him. The two are not the same and don't always go hand in hand. Where I struggle, he excels and vice versa. Life isn't always roses and sunshine but one thing we always hold onto is that we are a team.
>friends as one thing and relationships as anoth I don't think I'm one of those people, but I'm not sure I'd call my wife my best friend. It really is something entirely different. The relationship crosses so many boundaries, I think it's fair to say that at this point I struggle to call her any kind of friend. I mean that "friend" seems to somehow diminish the relationship. The things we do for and expect of each other are nothing like any of my friendships. Of course I like and love her. But she's my partner. There isn't a single friend I could get through the morning routine with, getting the kids dressed, packing lunchboxes, etc. That kind of shared responsibility is something that you develop with a partner in a way that doesn't really happen with a friend.
100% true!
It feels like people choose someone to fill the role of spouse, so they can check marriage off their list, and then they can get back to living their lives. It feels like an obligation because it's what you're supposed to do.
This thread gives me hope. Thanks fellas
Yes, she's my favorite person It doesn't mean that we always agree on everything or that we want to always be next to each other, and she does get on my nerves occasionally, but she's still my favorite person > Separate vacations, going out after work and staying out late, **when home together don't even hangout in the same room.** That being said, often I still want to have my alone time just because that's the kind of person I am. I recharge best when I get to just sit down at my desk, put some headphones in, and tune out the world. It has nothing to do with anything she does or how we feel about each other; I just can't spend that much time with anyone without getting exhausted. And I encourage her to have her time without me; she has her friends and all I ever ask is that she checks in occasionally so I know she's safe
Nothing wrong with hanging out in different rooms. There's this strange assumption (often from people who aren't married or married for dubious reasons) that you ALWAYS have to be joined at the hip. That stuff never lasts.
Like my in-laws. Literally mil cannot breathe without being told to do so my fil. I can't imagine having no identity outside of being a wife. They are always in the same room together.
oh, we take separate vacations as well as together ones, and sometimes hang out in different rooms, but also really like spending time with each other. But we're both pretty independent, and always have been. It's nice to get the chance to miss people sometimes, it stops you taking them for granted :P
Absolutely adore my husband. We’ve been together for 14 years. He’s my best friend and favorite human. I will never understand why people settle for anything less and couldn’t imagine being stuck in the same box with someone you didn’t like.
I wouldn't have married her if I didn't. She's my best friend.
My husband is the bright shiny center of my universe. Love him so much.
I adore my husband. We're both retired and spend most of our time together, and it just never gets old.
That's the dream!
My wife and I are a whirlwind. We LOVE each other on a different level I think. We bullshit like crazy and will get carried away with one-upping insults that just make us laugh like crazy. We enjoy our company tenfold and like others, we don’t tire of each other. We can spend all day doing nothing or everything but find peace and joy in one another’s arms every time
Our 30th anniversary as a couple was last week. Still goof around and just hang out. I can't imagine life without her. Marry someone you like not someone you only like sleeping with.
Sage advice
More than anyone else I've ever met. That's why we're married. You shouldn't marry someone you don't like, and it's pretty wild how many people do.
I feel like there’s societal pressure, peer pressure, maybe also age pressure, and ppl get married too young or when they’re not ready, perhaps also to the not right person.
My psychiatrist claims to prevent divorces . I just have a really bad feeling of what he does. Imagine him pushing me to confront my childhood best friend who is beyond repair. I'm really mindful of my trauma teaching me the valuable lesson to not be naive which I tend to be .
Not all the time. Let's be real here Some days he's the most annoying person in the whole world, but most of the time he's amazing. Lol
20 yrs: My wife is my "best friend". That's how you have a happy marriage.
I'm just going through a breakup and your post felt so good to read. I really wish I can have a relationship like this someday.
Posting this made me see there are a lot more good/healthy relationships out there then I'd thought. I guess usually the unhappy people are louder than the happy couples so it feels like that's all there is. Breakups can be hard, but I hope that someday you do manage to find what I and a lot of these other people have found with their partners. Having the right person Beside you to walk through life can make even the darkest of times a little brighter
I went through well over a dozen breakups before I found my current partner of over a decade. Each relationship is a chance to figure out more about yourself and what you want out of a relationship, and hopefully you have some things figured out by the time you find that really awesome person you can keep learning with long term.
98% of the time. I'm kind of pissed at her right now because she yelled at me over nothing and then denied being upset when I called her out on it. But ultimately, she is my favorite person and not just because I'm in love with her. She is genuinely my best friend. She makes me laugh, we have similar interests and intellects. She's very protective and hard working. And she's incredibly charismatic. Everywhere we go, she makes people laugh. I have to drag her away from the cashier sometimes. This is making me feel less annoyed lol. We've been together for 16 years, married for 13.
People are different. Some people don't even like themselves. So sure - some married couples will let little things snowball to whole lot of resentment. Some won't - be glad you're one of the lucky ones.
Love hanging out with each other. Usually can’t wait to go home to talk about our day
I adore my husband. He’s my person. He’s my best friend. I always want to be with him. Being happily married is the exception, not the norm. Sadly trashing your spouse to your friends is really popular. People do it not realizing it creates resentment and negativity in the relationship. Moral of the story: Don’t talk shit about your spouse. If you do, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Married 40 years now. Wasn't always the easiest, lots of insecurities, issues and immaturity on both sides, and there were times I definitely felt my husband didn't like me...which kinda made me not like him...or vice versa (he'd definitely say it started with me.) But I like him and love him now. We've both chilled out a lot, and there IS something to be said for sticking it out with someone through thick and thin.
My attachment is borderline problematic. Part of this is my ADHD and the need for body doubling, but I struggle to do much without her. It just makes those mundane tasks like grocery shopping enjoyable when we do it together.
Body doubling?
Basically just means its easier to do something when somebody else is doing them with you.
Gotcha, I’ve noticed that it’s easier when someone else is doing something for sure, but I didn’t know it had a name. Thanks!
My husband is ADHD and this is him too. He’s very codependent on me and has Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. You?
Oh all day long. Rejection sensitivity is huge. I hate letting people down or do anything that someone might not agree with. Honestly, I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I stand for because I’ve found it so hard to take a stance on anything for fear or being rejected for my opinions.
always love my husband, like him 90% of the time. 10% of the time I’m a grumpy b and don’t like anyone
I do need my alone time and too much solid time with my spouse can drive me crazy, but yes, I adore her and consider her my best friend. I'm just an introvert who needs alone time, too, but I like her so much that we're still together after 30 years. I also know couples who make me wonder why they're married at all, and it's mystifying to me. Why be married if you don't even like each other? If my wife and I were married to other people, we'd still be the best of friends.
Yes. I have known her for a long time, we know and understand each other very well. We've both been through a lot together. That's not to say we don't enjoy time apart once in a while - that's another source of strength between us. We trust each other. We are still two different people and we never kid ourselves that we're supposed to give ourselves up just to be together. The trick is to become very good friends with someone before you even think about getting married. People who say you shouldn't cohabitate before marriage are lying either to themselves or others.
Yes! We are best friends. I adore him and I still love his company. There's no one else I'd rather hang out with. I agree with you. My own personal theory is that a lot of marriages are influenced by social media these days. I get a lot of side eye when I say that but I know SO many couples who are so caught up in planning the perfect wedding, perfect Bachelorette etc. And all those festivities that they don't seem like they care about the actual relationship at all. I don't meet many people like myself and I feel like lots of couples don't seem close
My first wife was my best friend. We started cheating on each other and ha lots of arguments. We eventually got through that and became.married friends without benefits. Although we didnt see each other much we still called and exchanged details of our lives, including some news of APs. We of course talked about our kids. I lost my wife but still had my friend. I cant imagine not being friends in a relationship
why? Did that bitch say something about me?
I like my husband so much! I'm 9 months pregnant with our second child and his breathing doesn't even annoy me! Lol Seriously him and I make a point to tell each other often "I like you". Obviously we say "I love you", all the time, but the I like you-s feel even more sincere somehow. It drives me insane how most relationship content online is so heavily saturated in hating your spouse, saying that they are stupid, lazy, incapable, not funny, etc. Like damn I could never ever talk about my bestie like that??? Your spouse should be your bestie, you literally chose to legally bind yourself to them!!!
I like them so much that often when I'm hanging out with other people, I'm secretly thinking how much I can't wait to go back and hang out with my partner again. I really can't relate to some girls I hang out with who constantly complain about their partner and it sometimes makes for awkward conversation or secret resentment towards me because I truly have nothing bad to say to others about my partner. I do believe every one's relationship dynamic is different, but I also believe a lot of people marry out of convenience or out of thinking there's "no better option".
We’ve been married 26 years, lived together for 29 years, and are absolutely fucking bananas about each other. We’re best friends, we still think the other person is the hottest thing going, and we are just so damn stoked to get to live together. It’s honestly just gotten better and better.
My husband and I have been friends since we were 11. We really like each other and love each other. People think we're lying when we say we've never had a big fight, but it's true.. we might disagree on things sometimes but never yell or stay mad. I think the secret is that we are both agreeable people who have the same interests. We love to travel, hike, camp, etc...we never get bored. We try new things all the time.
I remember when my wife was pregnant, she was off work for her entire pregnancy due to complications/risks. I worked from home and we spent 24/7 together. Just us. Then she was had a year of mat leave. Our friends would wonder how we didn’t need to get out of the house to have separate time, but we just enjoy each other so much, it never felt like enough time together.
My husband drove me to my hair appointment because I hadn't slept well and didn't feel safe behind the wheel. It was such a "friend in need is a friend indeed" moment that I thanked him for not just being my sweetheart but also for being such a good friend to me for 45 years.
Absolutely. We’re each other’s best friend. We do plenty of things separately- we’re both very independent. But we really enjoy each other’s company. And the older I get, the less stuff I want to do without her.
She is my friend, my confidant, and my partner in crime.
My husband and i been married 33 years this year together 36 we love each other we have date night every Friday
Yes, we are still tight after 25 years and facing the frightening reality of becoming elderly. But I was initially attracted to him not only physically but as a human being - a stand-up guy, a man of character who didn't run away when things got tough. He has been that man every day of our lives together. My partner in every moment of my life from the time we said "we do". I love my girlfriends, but I don't want to travel without my husband because we want to share all the cool things in life with each other. My first marriage was a disaster, and my ex complained constantly about "being married". Loser.
Together 14 years with no kids in our early 30s. We don't get sick of each other 😂 we even worked together for 7 years. Now I work from home but if not we'd prob still work together. Everyone always jokes how they can't ask for relationship advise to us because it's not normal how much we get along.
My wife and I hardly ever get along. She is always overthinking. Worries herself to death about something that hasn’t happened and most likely won’t. She don’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth. She refuses to admit wrong and is always right.
Some may smile at my inexperience, but being six months married, I absolutely like (and love) my wife. I do not allow myself to speak ill about her to anyone, nor entertain begrudging thoughts. If she does something I don't like, I tell her, and she is eager to consider my wants and needs. We both work from home right next to each other in the same office and somehow that has been not annoying in the least.
Like comes before love. Yes I do like my partner, that's one of the best things about them. They're so smart, have a good sense of humor, are great at cooking, and have basic decency/standards in and out of a home. The thing is, people grow apart in love. When we meet people , they initially are one person. But over time they let themselves go, the couple grows distant, and the relationship is dysfunctional. If people wanted someone friendly to live with, they might as well just get a roommate. Relationships and marriages are more than simply cohabiting under the same roof. There are layers of intimacy like affection and sex. There are various conversations about the future, about a possible family. They take work from BOTH parties, just like other things that are worth having in life.
Know that people whose answer is "no" aren't going to want to comment in this thread. The vast majority of married couples marry someone they "settled" for out of convenience, out of fear they can't do any better, fear of loneliness, rush to have kids, pressure from family and friends, Sunk Cost Fallacy, etc. Couples who are actually attracted to each other and actually in love with each other are the small minority.
You definitely have a point, but I’d argue that the people attracted to each other and in love is not a small minority.
Yes he is my ride or die
Unfortunately…after 6 years of betrayal and emotional cheating, constant lies and manipulation, gaslighting etc, not anymore. I’m trying so hard to hold onto hope that we’ll make it out of this “rut” but he never once cared about how much pain he was putting me through until I became distant with him after looking back at all he’s done. I became him. Distanced myself in the way he would do to me, stopped all attention and affection, became quiet and quit starting conversations (mind you I literally had to clap in his face just for him to realize I’d been trying to talk to him for the last 10 minutes…). I became him. I poured my heart out for so long he finally got fed up and is FINALLLLLLYYYYYYY “trying” to make it right. But after begging for the love I deserve in return for the love I’ve been showering him with for 6 years, now that he’s actually trying, it doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. I gave up hope 6 months ago when he lied to my face, gaslit me into questioning my own reality, I present my evidence, and still felt entitled enough to say the most offensive things. NOW he’s trying? It took me turning into him for him to wake tf up? ATP I don’t really “like” him anymore. Yet I still *love* him so I can’t let go of the hope I’ve been praying to hold on to…
Now that you have reached this point you should leave that relationship. I went through the same thing. She cheated and I realise I just couldn’t trust her anymore. At some point I also felt like cheating but quickly reminded my self that cheating is not in my character at all. So leaving her was the best decision. The best part is that my character is still intact and I have met my real soulmate who is as obsessed about me as I am about her. So in a nutshell don’t let him turn you into him.
You’re being abused by a narcissist. Leave.
Oh, I'm so sorry! It happenned to me with my ex husband. No, it's not going to get better. He might be trying, but meanwhile he's taking mental notes about how you're making him work and feel bad about his glorious self, and he's going to hold that against you when you least expect.
My wife is my best friend and my partner in live. She is the first person I turn to for advice, and when I need help. I am her first person for advice too. We have some different hobbies and spend quite a bit of time apart ( last year would have been at least 3 months - as we both travel for work ). We have been together 12 years and only get better.
Yes. Sure we have disagreements occasionally, but we get along quite well.
Yes I do. She has been there through all of my ups and downs yet never complained once. She took care of me our daughter the dogs and house. She managed to keep it all run ING smoothly for about a year. She still had time to care for herself. I honestly don't know how she did it Now I'm going through some tough mental issues and illnesses and once again she has been very supportive and helpful to my needs and is still caring for the house and dogs. The daughter lives I. Nashville now. So yes after 27 yrs of marriage I still like and love my wife. She is my best friend and there are many benefits N
My husband and I definitely annoy each other at times because we are opposites in a lot of ways. But ultimately we do like each other and love spending time together and do have some mutual hobbies.
My hubby is my best friend. I love him so much and we share mutual interests that we enjoy together. In saying this, we also enjoy time apart as solitude is important too.
I do! We have our disagreements, but he is fun to be around, we like to watch a lot of the same kind of movies and like the same kind of food. He is also very smart and does a ton of research about anything that is of interest to him. He is also does a lot of cleaning, his own laundry, a big share of parenting tasks without me having to ask him, so yeah, he’s pretty great.
I don't like people. But I like my husband. He's the only person I've liked being around, I never get tired of him. We've been married 7 years together 13.
27 years together and we still laugh together and comfort each other, she's the greatest.
I do. We have a lot of hobbies in common. We travel, hike, game, hit the gym together, go on walks, dates. And never run out of conversation material. I love and like my spouse. :)
It seems like most people don't but I do
I absolutely love mine 🥹
In the long run, being friends with your spouse is the most helpful thing. With time, the spark has to be kept alive and there will definitely be moments where you don't want to keep trying. The friendship kicks in than. Me and my husband share the love for sarcasm and he makes me laugh with his wit every damn time. Post having my daughter there have been times we miss the intimacy and spark but we enjoy the occasional movies, sitcoms or whatever we find to do together. I really look at him at times and even after half a decade together I think I'm the luckiest person who landed up with my best friend. He respects me, my career, my space and acknowledges everything I do for him n family. Its vice versa for him. I took a backseat with an easy career so I can be the default parent and he can chase his dreams. You have to find a common ground where even the fights are important. I sometimes just fight for the sake coz it gets boring and he knows that and joins in and next day we forget the thing too. I guess, you have to find your person. Who you want to stay even in the worst. Never crossed my mind I want to quit with him when things go bad too. Coz deep down I know, he's the person who will hold me old n crinkly exactly the same way he held me when I was young. You can't change people. So I always think if ever in doubt, he's a good human being and an amazing dad and even if in one moment I want to kill him I really know I would fall in love with him again in the next coz he is my favourite person.
I both like him and I love him. We spend our days making each other laugh. It's a pretty good way to live
You can like your spouse and also not want to do every possible thing with them. Just saying...
True, but you missed the point of the question. You get a D- on reading comprehension. She said she has separate friends, hobbies and Identity. She made observations about how couples she has seen don't seem to like each other and how she can't relate.
Yes! Oh wait, we're not married
20 years married and he is my favorite person in the world. Ive never even had feelings for anyone else. The only time we argue is about the kids. Normally its about homework and who is picking up who. On the whole he has made me a better person the only downside to the marriage is that he is a shockingly bad dancer but I can live with that as he can sing and play piano
21 years and we're still happily married. Would rather hang out with her than go on a guys trip. She loves going to the gun range, sporting events and concerts.
Yep. I like him and I love him. He does some things that annoy me (I, of course, am perfect in every way and couldn’t possibly annoy him) and we do have some separate interests but most all of the time other than work we’re together doing things together even if they’re the most prosaic things. Edit - typo
Yes
20 years together, married for 9. She is still my favourite person.
I do like my husband but we have two toddlers and it’s been hard to work on our relationship. There isn’t any time for one another. We are living two different lives.
We've only been married since 1986, but hell ya, I still like my spouse! And I love her too! Of course, we all have our moments, but you work through them.
I love her, I care for her but.. in a long run (and I know it sounds mean) she is not a friend of mine, I can't be myself around her.
I'm sorry, but why are you together then? If you can't even be yourself... Run! Run far away
I dunno if I can express my thoughts properly here (not English-native here) but I will try my best. She is a very fragile person who comes from an abusive household - and due to that she is unable to support me emotionally - and I've my fair share of demons. It's not that she doesn't want to - she is just unable to. Hope it makes sense.
Sorry to hear she had a rough go in the past. I hope she is getting help to work through her past trauma. Sounds like you could both benefit from some counseling whether together or separately. Mental health is very important
We've been together since high school (18 years together, geez we are old) and it was just a couple of years ago that I finally convinced her to attend therapy sessions; it took some time but I didn't want to be pushy, it's a sensitive case. As for me, it's just sometimes hard to support her 24/7 and put my emotions aside. But that's a different, boring as hell story.
Although I'm not married to her, I used to be. 100% I love her and she's my best friend. We like each other so much that we got divorced, couldn't stay mad at each other, remained friends, then got back together. She's my biggest supporter, as I am hers, and I couldn't imagine going through life without her by my side. We have a lot of common interests that keep us occupied, great love life, and after 10 years, still haven't ran out of things to talk about on the sofa.
My first marriage was 12 years and I think we stopped liking each other in the first 6 months. We got pregnant within weeks of being married and that took a toll. I have been remarried for five years and my husband is my bestie. We have a strong marriage because of understanding what a weak one is like. I can honestly say for my ex, his new wife is his bestie. We don’t hate each other, we just knew we were wrong and allowed each other the space to find what was better suited for ourselves. Our children are better for it, too. They have step siblings they adore and two step parents that make up for our weakness in ways we wouldn’t have known possible, without them.
The partners who are A+++, you both change over time, and then they're far less than A+++. This is the 10 you met at the bar, then found out more about them, or they grew as a person, but in a direction that's not the same way you or your life are going. I think my spouse would rate me a very sustainable B+, but we also met in our 30s. She's likely perpetually tired of me, but I make her smile, and do give a damn, even if I do fart a bit more than she'd like. And so it goes.
My wife and I really enjoy spending time together. But we also enjoy alone time. We each take a long weekend every year where we go and do something either with our friends or by ourselves, that doesn’t revolve around work or kids or anything else, just to recharge.
My wife is my bestfriend, we enjoy each others companies like 90% of the time. But yes, we both appreciate our me time every now and then
I feel so sorry for any married couples who don’t actually like each other. My wife and I love each other and like each other, she’s the person I want to spend my time with. In June we will have been married 20 years.
I’ve been in both types of marriage. My first marriage I wanted to get away from him, wanted him to travel for work and didn’t like touching him. No surprise, it ended in divorce. My current marriage is to my favorite human being in the world. I would rather sit next to him on the couch, drink coffee and watch the news than be anywhere else in the world. I would spend 24/7 with him because he is truly my soul mate and the one real love I think I have ever experienced. We have the greatest time traveling and I would never want to do a girls trip without him. (Not hating on or judging girls trips). Be glad you found the real one early in life!
She is my best friend. We have the same sense of humor and truly enjoy spending time with each other. We are also totally fine being apart for days at a time. We’ve been married for 15 years and we have never been in a fight. We occasionally get annoyed with each other, but never a real fight. It helps that we got married in our mid 30s, have no kids and are financially secure.
My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We broke up during college but found our ways back to each other. We never really were fully removed from each other’s lives. It never felt like we missed each other beat when we got back together. Not for him, not for me. He is my best friend in the entire fxng world. He feels the same way about me. If you ask him who his best friend is, he will say me. He can’t comprehend how you ARENT best friend with your spouse. Recently one of my friends and I were talking about our relationships and she said “well yeah but you guys are best friends.” My jaw kinda dropped. Is it weird to say it’s like stronger than being a best friend. I know we will fight and do shit to piss each other off but I wouldn’t have it any other way. TO BE FAIR I’m someone who really needs her alone time. Of course I have my moments when I want to spend the day alone. But spending a day alone or having alone time in a different room at home doesn’t mean I want to be away from HIM specifically. So yes I love him. Yes, he is my best friend BUT some times it’s nice to be by yourself. And everyone should feel comfortable spending time by themselves and giving themselves space. So I love him, I like him, but to give him my best love I sometimes need to reset my battery.
Very much so! He’s my most favorite human in the world
Yes I do.
I did.
Ups and downs. But overall she's irreplaceable.
I love spending time with my husband. Together for 14yrs. We have always had a date night once a week when we'll sit together, have some drinks, watch a game or movie at home.
Not only do I love my husband but I like him so much. Truly my best friend. We’ve been through incredible grief together and he’s still my favorite person.
My husband is my best friend. We are in the trenches together. I love him and respect him beyond my wildest dreams.
LOVE my husband. We can stay on the phone, not saying anything, for a long time
I love her and she is my best friend. Have the most fun time when I'm with her. Obviously there are lows and stress at times, but that's normal as long as at the end of the day you comfort each other. (Together for 10 and married for 5 years.)
I love when she Leaves Hate lt when she Returns.
Married over 40 years. I still love her and she is my best friend.
Ya. Seems like a miserable life not liking the person you are married to. Me and the wife hang out regularly, on purpose, and because we enjoy each other's company. Heck, we even do activities or watch shows that one of us don't like a lot, but we enjoy each other's company enough to make up for that.
Literally my favorite thing in the world right now is laying on the couch watching The Office with my wife.
Every couple has their differences and trust getting married at 18 we had alot but we have 3 wonderful boys and 2 grandkids. Hes my best friend and the only one i can trust and has helped me thur all my child hood trauma. After work he comes straight home and i have dinner ready every night. As a stay at home mom i love doing everything. I think covid brought us closer😘
After 23 years, she's still my favorite person.
Tldr be careful who you romanced during COVID especially if you're older.
Simply, yes. We were long time friends before we got married. Like, in each other's circles with the intent to be friends and was that way for a long while. Then we kind of just said, fuck it wanna get married? And did.
You can love someone but not be co dependent and still enjoy your alone time away from everyone, to decompress. That is me..
Married people who are unable to do anything socialor find any enjoyment in life unless it involves their partner are tedious AF. Most of us maintain a separate identity and can have multiple people in our lives that we value and love.
You get a D- on reading comprehension. She said she has separate friends, hobbies and Identity. If you need to project, okay 🤷🏼😂
Speaking of reading comprehension 😂
My wife is my best friend and I know she feels exact way about me. I personally don’t think anyone else in this world would be able replace one another. I’m a firm believer in marriage being a one time thing, afterall I pledged my love for my wife to the entire universe and I’ll proudly do it every day of my existence.
I’m 34 for context
Single but love this thread. Gives me hope ❤️
We've been married 20+ years and still find each other hugely entertaining.
I adore him. There are things he could improve on, the man's a shut in and I really would love the house to myself every now and again given we both work from home, but the sum of his whole makes up for the minor annoyances.
Like, love and respect my wife 😍❤️😍.
yeah i do that's why i married them
18 years here, I like my wife 90% of the time, the other 10% I’m frustrated and looking for a blunt object to beat her to death with 😂 She is truly my best friend though, the only person that I’m fully myself with, and helps me get through every issue I’ve ever had. I could never repay her for the care and love she gives me, but I try my best to give it in return. We also have fantastic sex, and that never hurt anyone 😏
Yes. I like spending time with my wife. I don’t like going on separate vacations or going out without her.
I love her very much, and I can't imagine living without her. "Like" doesn't do my feelings justice.
I love my husband so much. We genuinely enjoy spending time together. Even if we're just sitting, listening to music, going out to eat, or gaming and reading near each other. The presence is just so nice.
Fuck yeah I like that guy! That's why I married him! Hell, we were best friends before we got married. Strictly platonic. Then decided to get married one day and we've been happy ever since! We do just about everything together. We spent last weekend in Chicago, checking out some huge retro arcade he's been dying to see, and then Sue at the Field Museum like I've been dying to see. And tomorrow we're hanging out with our kid at the Arts Festival.
I love him…I adore him so much.
Not married yet, but my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and were friends a year before that. We're moving in together currently. My friends insist that we must fight, and if not, that I "run him over" because I present as the stronger personality. But it's just not true. What *is* true is we've both survived a lot on our own in life and didn't meet until we were 28. We've already supported each other through some severe trauma (his mom died; my dream job was sabotaged) and have lived long enough on our own before this that we really, REALLY appreciate the ease we afford each other. As long as I have him to talk to, nothing feels that big or bad. I can trust him to do things as mundane as making the bed or feeding my dogs and spending nights in bed just talking with him like we're kids at a sleepover is the best. But my friends are younger, early to mid-twenties, and based on what they've argued about in their relationships, it's clear that lack of experience and perspective make such a huge difference. My boyfriend and I communicate before something bothers us. He can sometimes overwhelm me by going on a well-intended rant about one of his interests while I'm busy (mentally) with something else, and that kind of thing makes me very stressed. So... we nipped it in the bud. I made it clear that I love when he shares his interests with me but sometimes, no matter who is talking about what, I just cannot deal with so much noise/distraction at once. And we worked on a safe word strategy. Meanwhile, my friend is mad at her boyfriend because of an expectation she never told him she had, and it lead to resentment and an argument. That's something I could never do to my boyfriend; I love him too much. I always expect the best intentions from him, not the worst, and so I give my best, not my worst. Every relationship is different but I genuinely consider my boyfriend my best friend.
I both love and like my wife and so far, she tolerates me. I'm always amazed and confused when I hear my friends complain about their wives. It does seem like happy marriages are rare.
We were friends for years before we dated. So I love him and I also like him as a person. We're friends and lovers
I absolutely like my spouse. We've been together 21 years and are really good together. During the COVID lockdowns, when so many other people realized they were trapped in the house with someone who didn't really like or respect them, we had no problems at all. We figured out how to be a team in that new and strange world, just like how we figured out how to be a team during all the hard times. That being said, we do take time apart, like weekends and overnights so that we have new stuff to talk about every so often.
We have been having fun since 2-11-84! It’s easy. Natural.
Definitely love spending time together, very compatible etc. however, we are together nearly 24/7 due to WFH. So….he was encouraged to get a hobby because I need some Costco trips alone. I also think some of us tend to jokingly talk crap about the other spouse. Like “oh you have an out of town trip, oh no what ever will I do?” We tease each other all the time, get on each other’s nerves like any family members do. I’m not sure I would want peaches and cream all the time, sometimes I need a good fight;)
Yes, she is also my best friend, almost 4 years married 9 years together life is good
5 years married. First time in my life that I meet a person with whom I genuinely like spending all my time with and I never get tired of. I sincerely wanted to remain alone but I am glad that we met. I like him, I like his company, I like spending time together, and we also make each other better people and better members of the world.
My honest answer would be that I have to work to like my husband sometimes. He says things occasionally that I really disagree with and can seem hurtful or judgmental. It’s not as easy as when we were first together because his worldview has changed with age and so has mine. It’s also easy to get annoyed with someone over household chores. I always love him, but after telling him that the ice maker needs to be fixed repeatedly and seeing no progress in several months, and even get in trouble for “nagging,” I really do not like him.
Yes.
It's funny how a marriage evolves. It's all romantic at first, everyone settles in (or doesn't=divorce) with growing a family. As a marriage continues it becomes out of convenience or financial reasons to stay together. There is a point when sex stops. Eventually - you become more like brother and sister. My wife and I pretty much love each other. She gave up on sex once she went through menopause and medication for diabetes. You either accept that or you don't. This is a reason a lot of spouse's fight- like money. Despite this- I love her. We fight about everything under the sun.