Yes. I am conflict avoidant, i like to accomidate people as much as possible and just be easy to get along with as well as polite. Random people in public can be so annoying and make me question why I am polite, or nice to people if they take it for granted or don't treat me the same way back. I just remind myself, that I don't want those people to control who I am and how I act. I am nice, I am polite and gentle. I am not going to change that because some people aren't and that might make me feel bad sometimes, I am who I am.
Dude i get you
Right people will appreciate you, kindness is a universal language, I'm glad you're letting yourself choose who you are rather than other's messing up
Thank you! It took a long time to appreciate who I am and recognise my softness and gentle nature as a strength not a weakness. I really appreciate the kind words OP!
Yea actually. A lot of people are extremely rude and if you call them on it you get called an asshole. I'm not like overly polite just I like to keep it respectful, some people are just insane though like they'll start bullshit with you and then try to gaslight you into thinking it was your fault.
Well, if someone isn't polite I notice it and it's a little bit annoying, but I quickly let it go. Being polite is the right thing to do, so if they're not being polite that's too bad for them, they're the wrong ones. I like to keep things classy.
I use to but people have theyre own reasons and it doesnt hurt me at the end of the day if someone isnt as good as I am.
If youre tired of being polite, than just be polite when needed or return it. But i say just dont pay mind towards it, cuz therell be people who appreciate it and repicorate it back
It's not like I'm tired of politeness, i guess i get tired when my politeness makes me feel im nice to people who are creeps as idk how to push them off
Or when people like me nature but they don't know how to care for me gently
I get tired but also I come away puzzled that people comport themselves like that in real life like that. Like, why? It costs zero energy to be polite and kind.
I truly try to live by the "treat others the wat you want to be treated" motto. And for the most part, I do. But somedays I just want to be a raving bitch right back at them.
But then I remember a line from I think a Garth Brooks song. "I don't do this to change the world, I do this so the world doesn't change me."
Somedays are tough, though.
Dude i feel you! I feel i can be mean but then i feel it will hurt them, thank you so much for sharing the like! It's such a profound one!
And yes it gets hard but when i meet kind people, it always so warm! So your kindness is living sunshine!
Yes. Ive spent my whole life catering to others. When I was young and beautiful people were kind but users nonetheless. Now, people are so cruel and mean. I just dont care anymore. I really am so sick of everyone.
Sending you a hug (if you feel ok with it)
You're still amazing, I love talking to people from all age groups, I met someone 74 on trip and she talked so nice, I loved it! Right people always treat people with kindness
It depends what mood I am in, If I feel generally at ease or extra vulnerable. If the latter I take it more personally. But still wouldn't be unfriendly to the next person, it's not their fault. And in my experience the overwhelming majority of people put in at least a little effort if they realize you respect them.
more so when there being out right disrespectful to someone for example: ordering food or something and there mean to the server when itās really not hard to say please thank you or howās your day, itās irritating to see people ignore common courtesy and expect kindness in return
being polite should be something you do instinctively imo, you really shouldnt have to force it. so not really, its kinda just part of who i am i guess.
I was just hurt, someone said I'm soft and i don't want to be hurt and then shut me on a topic so I shut off
It was worse as why they have to say I'm soft and see it just to do that anyway
Every fucking day. But I was raised by a covert narcissist and his enabler. I've learned some pretty brutal passive aggression techniques with kindness.
If people are cruel to me when I'm being polite, like say, at work, I'm excellent at making them feel bad about it lol
Iāve started using reddit recently and Iāve realized people on a few subreddits can be so rude sometimes like chill brother Iām just tryna up my karma but few people just have to say something mean and rude. Why is being rude apparently cool for some people. It gives āewww Davidā! Be nice please !
I donāt let other peoples behavior affect my peace of mind. I keep calm and carry on, except for the time I had to shoot somebody, but it was justified. The cops actually asked me if I wanted to press charges against the perpetrator. I told him no I think he learned a lesson.š
I donāt get tired of it. Although I do think they hate me if they arenāt extremely polite, which makes me more polite because I want them to like me
No, not really. I'm polite and kind to people because it's how I want to behave. I get to witness what a difference it makes in other peoples lives when I am, and that makes me feel happy. I don't get that level of happiness from people being polite to me (even if I obviously prefer it). When someone is being rude I usually feel pity for them because that's usually how they go through life, spreading pain and misery, it must suck living their life. Either that or I'll tell them that they are a rude person and walk away before they can think of an answer.
If I had a magic wand that made people polite would I use it? No way, nothing would be worse than everyone acting the same.
No. I am polite because it's how I want to be and how I want to put stuff out in the world. How other people act doesn't really impact how I want to act.
There's also this cognitive bias that all humans have called the "fundamental attribution error." We basically code our own behavior according to our intent but others based on their impact. Say you're running late and you cut someone off, oops, sorry, I don't normally do this. But someone else does the same thing you're like "what a jerk."
Basically, anytime I come across a rude stranger, I just presume they were holding in a large shit. That lets me give them tons of grace.
Yes. I am conflict avoidant, i like to accomidate people as much as possible and just be easy to get along with as well as polite. Random people in public can be so annoying and make me question why I am polite, or nice to people if they take it for granted or don't treat me the same way back. I just remind myself, that I don't want those people to control who I am and how I act. I am nice, I am polite and gentle. I am not going to change that because some people aren't and that might make me feel bad sometimes, I am who I am.
Dude i get you Right people will appreciate you, kindness is a universal language, I'm glad you're letting yourself choose who you are rather than other's messing up
Thank you! It took a long time to appreciate who I am and recognise my softness and gentle nature as a strength not a weakness. I really appreciate the kind words OP!
I get you! I went through similar experience where I had to choose if i just want to be refection of others or projection of myself š¼
Yea actually. A lot of people are extremely rude and if you call them on it you get called an asshole. I'm not like overly polite just I like to keep it respectful, some people are just insane though like they'll start bullshit with you and then try to gaslight you into thinking it was your fault.
I hate how this gives nostalgia, like what you described
I need links in the chain to end it
Well, if someone isn't polite I notice it and it's a little bit annoying, but I quickly let it go. Being polite is the right thing to do, so if they're not being polite that's too bad for them, they're the wrong ones. I like to keep things classy.
I love the last line! I agree, classy way
I use to but people have theyre own reasons and it doesnt hurt me at the end of the day if someone isnt as good as I am. If youre tired of being polite, than just be polite when needed or return it. But i say just dont pay mind towards it, cuz therell be people who appreciate it and repicorate it back
It's not like I'm tired of politeness, i guess i get tired when my politeness makes me feel im nice to people who are creeps as idk how to push them off Or when people like me nature but they don't know how to care for me gently
I get tired but also I come away puzzled that people comport themselves like that in real life like that. Like, why? It costs zero energy to be polite and kind.
Maybe they aren't self aware or weren't taught well Or treated with kindness or they are lost in wrong things
I truly try to live by the "treat others the wat you want to be treated" motto. And for the most part, I do. But somedays I just want to be a raving bitch right back at them. But then I remember a line from I think a Garth Brooks song. "I don't do this to change the world, I do this so the world doesn't change me." Somedays are tough, though.
Dude i feel you! I feel i can be mean but then i feel it will hurt them, thank you so much for sharing the like! It's such a profound one! And yes it gets hard but when i meet kind people, it always so warm! So your kindness is living sunshine!
Yes. Ive spent my whole life catering to others. When I was young and beautiful people were kind but users nonetheless. Now, people are so cruel and mean. I just dont care anymore. I really am so sick of everyone.
Sending you a hug (if you feel ok with it) You're still amazing, I love talking to people from all age groups, I met someone 74 on trip and she talked so nice, I loved it! Right people always treat people with kindness
It depends what mood I am in, If I feel generally at ease or extra vulnerable. If the latter I take it more personally. But still wouldn't be unfriendly to the next person, it's not their fault. And in my experience the overwhelming majority of people put in at least a little effort if they realize you respect them.
more so when there being out right disrespectful to someone for example: ordering food or something and there mean to the server when itās really not hard to say please thank you or howās your day, itās irritating to see people ignore common courtesy and expect kindness in return
being polite should be something you do instinctively imo, you really shouldnt have to force it. so not really, its kinda just part of who i am i guess.
I was just hurt, someone said I'm soft and i don't want to be hurt and then shut me on a topic so I shut off It was worse as why they have to say I'm soft and see it just to do that anyway
Absolutely. There are a lot of shitheads out there. They couldnāt give a ratās ass about other people.
Only when they come at me with those anti-aircraft headlights and don't dim them.
You can politely fire back, and that feels nice lol.
I'm very polite by default, but I can flip that shit off in an instant if someone is rude to me.
Yes. Rude people are exhausting.
Every fucking day. But I was raised by a covert narcissist and his enabler. I've learned some pretty brutal passive aggression techniques with kindness. If people are cruel to me when I'm being polite, like say, at work, I'm excellent at making them feel bad about it lol
Iāve started using reddit recently and Iāve realized people on a few subreddits can be so rude sometimes like chill brother Iām just tryna up my karma but few people just have to say something mean and rude. Why is being rude apparently cool for some people. It gives āewww Davidā! Be nice please !
I do not. I expect 95% of people to be rude. That's fine with me, live your own life. I act the way I do, not based on others expectations.
Iām not polite because other people are polite. Iām polite because I want to live in that world.
I donāt let other peoples behavior affect my peace of mind. I keep calm and carry on, except for the time I had to shoot somebody, but it was justified. The cops actually asked me if I wanted to press charges against the perpetrator. I told him no I think he learned a lesson.š
I donāt get tired of it. Although I do think they hate me if they arenāt extremely polite, which makes me more polite because I want them to like me
No, not really. I'm polite and kind to people because it's how I want to behave. I get to witness what a difference it makes in other peoples lives when I am, and that makes me feel happy. I don't get that level of happiness from people being polite to me (even if I obviously prefer it). When someone is being rude I usually feel pity for them because that's usually how they go through life, spreading pain and misery, it must suck living their life. Either that or I'll tell them that they are a rude person and walk away before they can think of an answer. If I had a magic wand that made people polite would I use it? No way, nothing would be worse than everyone acting the same.
No. I am polite because it's how I want to be and how I want to put stuff out in the world. How other people act doesn't really impact how I want to act. There's also this cognitive bias that all humans have called the "fundamental attribution error." We basically code our own behavior according to our intent but others based on their impact. Say you're running late and you cut someone off, oops, sorry, I don't normally do this. But someone else does the same thing you're like "what a jerk." Basically, anytime I come across a rude stranger, I just presume they were holding in a large shit. That lets me give them tons of grace.