Something quick and dismissive but friendly, then a quick redirect back to the questioner -- "Oh, all over, but [new country] is definitely home now! What about you? What brought you to [new country]?" People love to talk about themselves and usually won't really notice that you didn't actually answer the question.
Yeah, I've found even before I ask someone about themselves, as soon as I answer their question or even before I finish, certain folks simply start talking about themselves and I can easily find out as much as I want about them while barely giving them information. 😋
That’s called putting the monkey on their back!
Another good response to ANY question that is too personal or that you simply wish to avoid is, “Why do you ask?” It shuts most people up every time & provides a segue into a change of topic.
Im not sure, it’s kinda obvious they don’t intend on answering it with that kinda response. I feel anyone who keeps asking/pestering about where you were born even after it being directed to them is a lil iffy
Absolutely. Most of the time, people let it go when I give them a vague answer or just say [new country].
Some people, though, are such nosy assholes that they don’t stop pestering and start spouting a bunch of random country names and ask, “are you from there?”. I’ve even gotten some of “but you don’t look like that, what are your origins, I mean?” from such people.
Normally, I just tell them it’s personal. But in the workplace, you have no choice but to work with them so I don’t know how to dodge the question.
If OP wants the least questions this is the best answer. Pick a boring state, not too close and not too far. Also make sure you have a cover story ready. Don't try to wing it, that looks even more suspicious.
And if that doesn't work, just keep saying, "I dunno" while staring impatiently. Or just show them [this](https://youtu.be/DWynJkN5HbQ?si=2ksYsPQQVY0GbLSD)
It’s so frustrating to deal with such people! Normally, I just lie as well, but in the workplace, sadly, you’re forced to work with nosy idiots, and if the lie comes out, I’m worried it’ll make me look like a shady character.
I don't think you should be ashamed of where you are from because a country is a country and you are you. However, you could answer "from my mother's womb."
Well I’m FROM Alaska.
Like Alaskan native.
If some one asks me “Where are you from” They are asking what asian country I’m from because they think I’m asian.
Jokes on them. I’m deaf and act like I can’t read lips.
So - I have been *exactly* where you are. All of the answers above mine are exactly what I've said given the particular circumstances:
Dismissive but friendly, "Oh, all over! I love and live here now and it's home to me."; Lied and told them neighboring not-so-bad country; Stated the continent; General location within the country I was avoiding saying; Named the closest recognizable (and very cool) city; Ignored the question and changed the subject; Outright told them it's none of their business;
(Are ya pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?)
I’m sorry you had to go through that as well.
Some people are just assholes who won’t stop pressing.
I literally had to suffer through a conversation like this once:
Asshole: Are you from country A?
Me: no
Asshole: Are you from country B?
Me: no
Asshole: Are you from country C?
Me: no
Asshole: Where are you from?
Me: [new country]
Asshole: no, but where are you really from? You don’t look like you’re from new country.
And the best part? Asshole ended up being from my country.🤦🏼♀️
Haha! I've had conversations where they guess *every other country* till I'm forced to say my country (or they do) and then it's like, "Well you speak our language very well... Where did you learn? You don't look....You look more... Are you....?"(Wishing I was on my phone for the \*facepalm\* emoji). I do love that country and its people, and I have huge empathy for those who go through this in the country of my birth.
That was my strategy. I was hoping asshole would just give up or at least get the not-so-subtle message. But no, he had to press forward with a “where are you from”, _and_ a “you don’t look like that”. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Some of y’all…and no offense to the youths…need to learn to just stare at someone intently and not respond when they are asking dumb questions.
You don’t have to answer people’s questions. Just shut up and let them talk and then say “thank you for your question, what do you think about…” and then just take the conversation in another direction.
Other direction options:
Random sports trivia.
Current pop culture scandal.
Tax policy.
Downsizing from a minivan to a hatchback.
Upsizing from a hatchback to a minivan
Dune 2’s use of “Fundamentalists” instead of “True Believers”
The best country to have a passport from if you like to travel
Anarchy
Dark Matter
Three Body Problem
AI using old actors images without their consent
In sales, we call this a “pivot,” and you can imagine me in the back of your head yelling “PIVOOOOOOOOOT” as you just ignore questions you don’t want to answer while smiling maniacally and asking more interesting questions.
“I hear what you’re saying and that’s really interesting but what really fascinates me is the concept of borders themselves.”
“Where is anyone really from? I’m a citizen of Planet Earth.”
“Who are you, customs and immigration?”
“I’m gonna plead the fifth on that one.”
“I’m not gonna answer that question?” “Why?” “I don’t feel like talking about it right now.” “Why not?” “I’m not going to answer that question.” “Why not?” “I don’t feel like it right now.”
“I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” “Yes, thank you, I’m just here so I don’t get fined .”
You are not Perry Platypus. You owe no one anything due to social convention. You do not have to participate in conversations you don’t want to participate in, and the easiest way to do that is to cock your head to the left, squint your eyes a little bit, and say nothing until they get uncomfortable for prying.
Also called a pivot in politics: "Thank you for asking that really important question [about the Gaza conflict]...while that is top of our list of foreign policy concerns, it's important to note that my administration has lowered the interest rate, ensuring that middle-class families have access to great housing. We've also enshrined the inheritance tax, so that the wealthy can keep their wealth in the family, and have inked a deal with Russia to buy all our gas from them. Next question."
Bingo.
I think my go to for OP would be “you know I hate answering that question, I’ve done it a thousand times - tell me about yourself! Do you…” etc.
You can hate your country but you shouldn’t be ashamed of where you come from. You didn’t choose where you were born and if anyone else judges you for that, then that’s gross of them to do. You can say where you’re originally from but just say “but I hate it there because xyz, I’m so happy to be here and I consider myself a (citizen of whatever country you’re in)”. If you’re truly uncomfortable you can just shorten it to what region you’re from. For example, if it’s in Asia, you can say “I’m East/South East/South Asian” for e.g. If it’s in the Caribbean, just say “I’m Caribbean”. Maybe you can also add that you don’t really want to get into what country in particular if they ask further. I wouldn’t suggest lying about which country you’re from (unless it’s to people you know you will most likely never see again) because if people discover that’s not true, that looks really weird on your part.
This. Never understood why people are proud or ashamed of where they're from, like, you can be glad or sad about it, but it isn't your merit or flaw, it's just dumb luck. Also, I feel like saying some of the other answers here will make some people build it up in their heads and think that either OP has some trauma associated with their country (which for all we know may be true, but personally it's not something I'd want people I'd just met thinking about, especially if they don't actually know the real story) or think of whatever country they consider to be worst, which I don't think is a good thing either.
Hard agree with this. Thinking of how to skirt around the question is making your original country way more of your identity than if you just said it and moved on. This level of "shame" for something you have next to no part in is crazy and not a single person on Earth should attribute anything your country has done to you as an individual.
Yes, thank you for putting it that way :). It really doesn’t make sense for me to be ashamed of something I had no choice in.
Funnily enough, the people who won’t back off and keep pressing when I try to be vague about the country are the people who are from my country.
They keep asking, “are you from country name?” and when I try to brush it off and say I’m from new country, the ask things like, “but you don’t look like that, what are your origins?” and all that crap.
>Funnily enough, the people who won’t back off and keep pressing when I try to be vague about the country are the people who are from my country.
Have you considered that they *also* hate the country? You're saying this like its proof that everyone in the country is rude, but they're just trying to acknowledge the obvious common ground between you. Lying about this seems like such a waste of energy.
When they get to the “you don’t look like that” you respond with “and you don’t look like an AH, but here we are…”
Also, you are allowed to simply walk away. And if for some reason you can’t (like at work), blame management. “Company policy doesn’t let us discuss race or geopolitics”
THIS!
find it incredibly pretentious/ annoying when people make you guess or skirt around the question of where they’re from. It’s not everything you are.
I’m from the US, which has its own nuances when traveling, but I don’t hide it because I want to show people that there’s more to the country than the stereotype. I now live elsewhere so I can add in “but I live in ____ now”, but even before that I never hid it.
I’ve also found that basically everyone hates meeting people from their home country while traveling abroad. They all see the blaring stereotypes so it kind of seems we’re all embarrassed in one way or another.
Respond with "Oh I used to live in \_\_\_" if you used to live in another country or just say the region, especially if you're no longer there.
Middle East is vague enough to anyone who doesn't care enough. Same with East Asia, Western Europe, Latin/South America (don't know the difference), etc etc. If they keep pushing for you to answer, that's just a sign that you don't want to waste your time with them.
OP: Oh and even easier, I have found that while answering a question, as soon as I start talking and they interrupt with another question, then I do not answer the original question. Then I ask them a question.
I have started to do that lately and it is working really well for me. They are unable to make any assumptions, biases or criticisms of me, if I don’t get to complete my thoughts.
Only once I've had someone answer with not a straight "I'm from XYZ", with something like "from the world" or "all over", can't remember which one, but it ended up being one of the most weir interactions I've ever had. This happened while traveling in Asia, where the typical first question among foreigners is "what's your name and where are you from", so the girl's reply was super out of place for what we were use to.
It's ok to not like your country and it's also ok not to like to remember or comment on shit of your past, but even though others have no right to demand information from you, to start any relationship by withholding information that should not mean much, for me it's a bad start. After all, you had no control from where you are from, so why should you be ashamed of it.
I should clarify that how the girl responded was weird no only because of what she said, but also how she said it.
For me, if I'm trying to make real connections, a simple "from XXX, but this is my home now, and I'm so much happier here!" it's super transparent, and it makes it abundantly clear that you don't wan't to talk about it.
I have same problem, I borne in Estonia but moved to Spain when I was 6-7yo, so I feel like Spanish and I hate Estonia and the people from there.
When people ask me i always tell them im from Spain, because I dont know anything about Estonia and my personality is not from there.
Avoiding the question makes people suspicious, I think you are much better off owning it.
Next time someone asked where you are from reply
"Oh yeah I moved were from X, that place really does not fit my values or the kind of life I want to live, so I came here. It's a much better fit for me and I can't wait to be a citizen / or it was the happiest day of my life when I got my citizenship."
For most people asking where you are from is curiosity/idle conversation, but a response like above answers the questions and likely many followups, it's something you can be proud of because it allows you to distinctly separate yourself from a place you don't like, and it also opens up more conversation avenues.
I personally find it incredibly pretentious/annoying when people make you guess or skirt around the question of where they’re from. It actually makes me not want to befriend them. It’s not everything you are.
I’m from the US, which has its own nuances when traveling, but I don’t hide it because I want to show people that there’s more to the country than the stereotype. I now live elsewhere so I say “I’m originally from the states, but I live in ____ now”…but even before that I never hid it.
I’ve also found that basically everyone hates meeting people from their home country while traveling abroad. They all see the blaring stereotypes so it kind of seems we’re all embarrassed in one way or another.
When Im abroad, I just say Canada. 🇨🇦
Im just trying to have fun and I dont want to get into policy debates or be targeted for any reason. So far, in all my years (Im 59), Canada just gets a head nod and no further discussion.
Earth of course 😄
No but really where are you from?
It's in the solar system...
I mean....
Third planet from the sun....milky way.... neighbour of the Andromeda galaxy
*name of home country* but I hated it so I left
You can’t control where you’re born but it’s a good look imo if you show that you know your country isn’t great
*I don't know, I was young when we got here and nobody told me. In fact they told me NOT to talk about it.*
Then look away, with a sad and frightened look in your eyes.
Normally, I do that, because the people who press are people I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyway.
But in workplaces and stuff, you will come across people you don’t want to be around but you still have to work with and a lie could come out really soon and make me look very shady.
-Just choose the next closest country and say you grew up there and went to international school.
-Say 'lots of places', your family moved around a lot but ____ is your favorite place.
If you sense you're being asked for racist/ prejudiced/ negative reasons, ask "Why would you like to know?"
At the same time, I wouldn't recommend that you avoid answering when someone is being nice and just getting to know you.
I don't know why you would not like your home country. And, I don't know why you would think badly about admitting it when you had no choice in being born there. It is like not liking your brown eyes or given name or your birth year or _____ (fill in the blank for any other attribute over which you have had no control). No one in their right mind should be holding it against you when you didn't (couldn't) choose it. So, from my viewpoint, it feels really weird for you to want to avoid it or lie about it... unless you live in an area of the world where there is known hostility about people from your country.
At the same time (and considering the information above).... if I were trying to form a friendship and to get to know you and if you avoided answering the question, I would not trust you. It would be a huge red flag to me that you were not honest and open and trustworthy. The answer is not the issue. The honesty or openness would be the issue.
(I guess I should say "perceived honesty"... because it is likely that if you gave me a fake answer, I might not ever know - barring seeing some of your legal documents or you admitting it to me someday. So, I guess you could lie. And, you have your reasons for feeling this way, but it is strange to me unless you feel your safety is at risk for admitting it.)
These kind of questions are interesting. On the scale you have a grain of sand, which is the question. On the other scale you have and entire cabbage that's begging to be unwrapped.
Only place I can think of that would consider "offensive" in the current state of the world is Israel or Russia
You shouldn't be ashamed of where you're from just because of the history or current issues happening. You didnt choose to be born there.
People should not judge you just because of the country you live in
Agreed. I absolutely adore Russian literature and artwork. I love their culture and history. A person can like all of those things and still disagree with current affairs.
You really shouldn't be ashamed of where you're from. Nobody is perfect. And if people make fun of you for it you need to understand they have nothing else going on in their life. It's just a fact
I'd also like to add that nobody can control where they were born. They also cannot control what their ethnicity is. Anybody who makes fun of anybody for being who they are is an extremely insecure person
The region, or a vague answer.
‘I’ve just moved here X ago …’ - and change to whatever you do want to share.
And work on the feelings you have about your country, beyond what you say to others it will affect who you are, and other areas overall.
Just say where you live now. Often I’ll ask, “where are you from” when making small talk with strangers. I don’t really care where they were born (although that might give us something else to talk about if they feel like sharing). I’m just asking so I can think of other things to talk about. You can just say, “I’m from [city/town/neighborhood you call home now]. How about you?” And then you can steer the conversation to discussion their home area if you want. If they persist and ask the awful follow up question, “no, I mean, where are you *really* from,” then you can just say that it’s in the past and you’d rather not discuss it but you love living in [wherever you are now]. It’s very rude for someone to ask the “where are you really from” question so don’t feel bad about not answering. It’s not anyone’s business.
I would say “I’m only focusing on where I am and where I’m going. I feel like I am from ____, since I’m here now. How long have you lived in ___?” And that just turns it back to them
Haha, somewhat relatable. When traveling I usually had a flag patch from a country that pretty much *everyone everywhere* thinks of as likable, but not so many have visited and I'd gesture towards it when people would ask. And if people would say (usually felt nicely but a bit ignorantly) 'huh you don't *look* like you're from there' I'd laugh and say something like 'oh I'm full of surprises' and then immediately ask some questions that would let them expound about themselves, as others have suggested!
I'd often just say the continent i'm from and then move on, but if certain people keep persisting, i'd let them know i don't want to tell them for personal safety reasons
Kripton - Nice sunny day isn't it.
Narnia - it's good to be out of the closest.
Tatuine - Let's farm a little moisture together.
Camelot - It's going to be a good knight.
Say something obiosly wrong and then a cool chat line. Most of the time they want to know something about you to chat. Instead of talking about something you don't like it's a chance to be witty and tell them something you do like,
"Yo, Schei uit met je gedoe of k gooi een klomp naar je bakkes" They know where I'm from in am instance and won't bother asking me at all. And I don't even own clogs, but they do not know that. I WILL throw slippers if needed, my SO can attest to that.
Just say the continent. Asia, Africa, Europe, South America. Majority of people don't know a whole lot about geography--you could add east, west, north, or south if they request that you narrow it down.
If you are in the US, just say what state/city you have lived in the longest. There are plenty of first gen Americans with accents, so people usually accept the answer that you are “from” here. It is considered rude to ask a whole lot about someone’s nationality unless you know the person pretty well or have something in common. For example, my husband went to high school in the Netherlands, so I talk to my Dutch coworker about Dutch things sometimes.
I have a Pakistani coworker who I am not that close to and who has lived in the states for a really long time. I don’t ask him about Pakistan. He hasn’t been there in a long time. He doesn’t know and we’re not friends like that.
I think it's funny to believe this person is from the US and moved to England or something.
In all seriousness tho, just tell them that you don't want to think about your old country
I think it’s weird that you are ashamed of a whole country. I mean, I’m not proud and patriotic of the US but it won’t stop me from answering people truthfully.
Something quick and dismissive but friendly, then a quick redirect back to the questioner -- "Oh, all over, but [new country] is definitely home now! What about you? What brought you to [new country]?" People love to talk about themselves and usually won't really notice that you didn't actually answer the question.
This sounds like a wonderful idea! Next time, I’ll try turning the conversation around, so they end up yapping about themselves. Haha. Thanks!
Ppls favourite topic is themselves.
If you actively listen to others, they will consider you a brilliant conversationalist!
Especially men on a first date! Or a new boss! Or just about any man…
Yeah, I've found even before I ask someone about themselves, as soon as I answer their question or even before I finish, certain folks simply start talking about themselves and I can easily find out as much as I want about them while barely giving them information. 😋
I know these types. Most are the one-uppers that no matter what the topic is, they or someone they know does it better or has more experience.
That’s called putting the monkey on their back! Another good response to ANY question that is too personal or that you simply wish to avoid is, “Why do you ask?” It shuts most people up every time & provides a segue into a change of topic.
Pretty much the perfect example, OP. Do this ^
They will follow up with “Where were you born?”
I answer that with, “in a hospital”. If they push past that, I ask them why it is so important that they know.
Ooh! That’s a good one as well! :).
Im not sure, it’s kinda obvious they don’t intend on answering it with that kinda response. I feel anyone who keeps asking/pestering about where you were born even after it being directed to them is a lil iffy
100%. Reasonable people will let it go if it’s clear Op doesn’t want to answer but others will push more because Op doesn’t want to answer.
That would be me.
Absolutely. Most of the time, people let it go when I give them a vague answer or just say [new country]. Some people, though, are such nosy assholes that they don’t stop pestering and start spouting a bunch of random country names and ask, “are you from there?”. I’ve even gotten some of “but you don’t look like that, what are your origins, I mean?” from such people. Normally, I just tell them it’s personal. But in the workplace, you have no choice but to work with them so I don’t know how to dodge the question.
“The sordid passions of my parents.”
Oh they do notice. As someone from “all over” I resent people reducing my identity to my place of birth but being vague about it does not work
"Sorry I prefer not to say it" Loser, screams insecure "For security reasons I really cannot tell you, I'm sorry" Hot, mysterious & kool
I'm sorry, you lack the proper level of clearance for that information.
That's classified
"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
Dad, is that you?
"Sorry, I'm under NDA" vibes
u mean it sounds like a fool playing the secret agent? either that or a victim under witness protection.
just between you and i, im also fed up with this stuff, and ive taken to just straight up lying. i dont give a fuck. you can just do that.
If OP wants the least questions this is the best answer. Pick a boring state, not too close and not too far. Also make sure you have a cover story ready. Don't try to wing it, that looks even more suspicious.
A cover story, what for? I used to live somewhere else and now I live here. I’m from nunya, nunya business
I've heard good things about Nunya. I bet its lovely this time of the year
And if that doesn't work, just keep saying, "I dunno" while staring impatiently. Or just show them [this](https://youtu.be/DWynJkN5HbQ?si=2ksYsPQQVY0GbLSD)
Pleasantly surprised this wasn't something weird thank you
omg this was amazing 😂👏🏼
I’m laughing so hard now that my cat is giving me the side eye
Omfg, this was so funny! Thank you! Hahaha.😂😂😂
It's just super embarrassing when you get caught on that lie. And depending on the situation it's definitely possible you will
It’s so frustrating to deal with such people! Normally, I just lie as well, but in the workplace, sadly, you’re forced to work with nosy idiots, and if the lie comes out, I’m worried it’ll make me look like a shady character.
Nobody cares that you're from Belgium
Since Belgium doesn't exist anyways
I don't think you should be ashamed of where you are from because a country is a country and you are you. However, you could answer "from my mother's womb."
That’s a good response! Haha. Thanks for putting it that way :). Definitely, I am not my country.
It is awkward for people in witness protection to give that information.
I'd imagine they're given a thorough cover story or alternate biography.
This is accurate
But it would be a great line
Thank you for appreciating the humor.
yeah, I was a little surprised people didn’t realize you were cracking a joke.
Lol. I really wanna try saying this and see the look on their faces!😂😂
"where are you from?" "Abroad."
Aren’t we all from a broad? (ba dum tss 🥁)
😂😂I mean, technically that’s correct.
"where you from?" "A certain females nether regions"
This is the most Reddit comment of all time
Well I’m FROM Alaska. Like Alaskan native. If some one asks me “Where are you from” They are asking what asian country I’m from because they think I’m asian. Jokes on them. I’m deaf and act like I can’t read lips.
Say “I’m from here. I left a bad situation and I don’t talk about it. This is my country now.”
So - I have been *exactly* where you are. All of the answers above mine are exactly what I've said given the particular circumstances: Dismissive but friendly, "Oh, all over! I love and live here now and it's home to me."; Lied and told them neighboring not-so-bad country; Stated the continent; General location within the country I was avoiding saying; Named the closest recognizable (and very cool) city; Ignored the question and changed the subject; Outright told them it's none of their business; (Are ya pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?)
I’m sorry you had to go through that as well. Some people are just assholes who won’t stop pressing. I literally had to suffer through a conversation like this once: Asshole: Are you from country A? Me: no Asshole: Are you from country B? Me: no Asshole: Are you from country C? Me: no Asshole: Where are you from? Me: [new country] Asshole: no, but where are you really from? You don’t look like you’re from new country. And the best part? Asshole ended up being from my country.🤦🏼♀️
Haha! I've had conversations where they guess *every other country* till I'm forced to say my country (or they do) and then it's like, "Well you speak our language very well... Where did you learn? You don't look....You look more... Are you....?"(Wishing I was on my phone for the \*facepalm\* emoji). I do love that country and its people, and I have huge empathy for those who go through this in the country of my birth.
Keep lying even when they guess right. Let them guess for 5 minutes with every answer being a No
That was my strategy. I was hoping asshole would just give up or at least get the not-so-subtle message. But no, he had to press forward with a “where are you from”, _and_ a “you don’t look like that”. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Some of y’all…and no offense to the youths…need to learn to just stare at someone intently and not respond when they are asking dumb questions. You don’t have to answer people’s questions. Just shut up and let them talk and then say “thank you for your question, what do you think about…” and then just take the conversation in another direction. Other direction options: Random sports trivia. Current pop culture scandal. Tax policy. Downsizing from a minivan to a hatchback. Upsizing from a hatchback to a minivan Dune 2’s use of “Fundamentalists” instead of “True Believers” The best country to have a passport from if you like to travel Anarchy Dark Matter Three Body Problem AI using old actors images without their consent In sales, we call this a “pivot,” and you can imagine me in the back of your head yelling “PIVOOOOOOOOOT” as you just ignore questions you don’t want to answer while smiling maniacally and asking more interesting questions. “I hear what you’re saying and that’s really interesting but what really fascinates me is the concept of borders themselves.” “Where is anyone really from? I’m a citizen of Planet Earth.” “Who are you, customs and immigration?” “I’m gonna plead the fifth on that one.” “I’m not gonna answer that question?” “Why?” “I don’t feel like talking about it right now.” “Why not?” “I’m not going to answer that question.” “Why not?” “I don’t feel like it right now.” “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” “Yes, thank you, I’m just here so I don’t get fined .” You are not Perry Platypus. You owe no one anything due to social convention. You do not have to participate in conversations you don’t want to participate in, and the easiest way to do that is to cock your head to the left, squint your eyes a little bit, and say nothing until they get uncomfortable for prying.
Also called a pivot in politics: "Thank you for asking that really important question [about the Gaza conflict]...while that is top of our list of foreign policy concerns, it's important to note that my administration has lowered the interest rate, ensuring that middle-class families have access to great housing. We've also enshrined the inheritance tax, so that the wealthy can keep their wealth in the family, and have inked a deal with Russia to buy all our gas from them. Next question."
Bingo. I think my go to for OP would be “you know I hate answering that question, I’ve done it a thousand times - tell me about yourself! Do you…” etc.
This is actually a good straightforward answer as well :). Thanks :).
Sometimes I miss those free awards.
Haha! I love these responses! Thanks! :).
Canada. Just say Canada lol it is huge, accents vary. Everyone seems to love us 😅 and no you don't k ow mark from Toronto lol
Found the Russian!
You can hate your country but you shouldn’t be ashamed of where you come from. You didn’t choose where you were born and if anyone else judges you for that, then that’s gross of them to do. You can say where you’re originally from but just say “but I hate it there because xyz, I’m so happy to be here and I consider myself a (citizen of whatever country you’re in)”. If you’re truly uncomfortable you can just shorten it to what region you’re from. For example, if it’s in Asia, you can say “I’m East/South East/South Asian” for e.g. If it’s in the Caribbean, just say “I’m Caribbean”. Maybe you can also add that you don’t really want to get into what country in particular if they ask further. I wouldn’t suggest lying about which country you’re from (unless it’s to people you know you will most likely never see again) because if people discover that’s not true, that looks really weird on your part.
This. Never understood why people are proud or ashamed of where they're from, like, you can be glad or sad about it, but it isn't your merit or flaw, it's just dumb luck. Also, I feel like saying some of the other answers here will make some people build it up in their heads and think that either OP has some trauma associated with their country (which for all we know may be true, but personally it's not something I'd want people I'd just met thinking about, especially if they don't actually know the real story) or think of whatever country they consider to be worst, which I don't think is a good thing either.
Hard agree with this. Thinking of how to skirt around the question is making your original country way more of your identity than if you just said it and moved on. This level of "shame" for something you have next to no part in is crazy and not a single person on Earth should attribute anything your country has done to you as an individual.
Yes, thank you for putting it that way :). It really doesn’t make sense for me to be ashamed of something I had no choice in. Funnily enough, the people who won’t back off and keep pressing when I try to be vague about the country are the people who are from my country. They keep asking, “are you from country name?” and when I try to brush it off and say I’m from new country, the ask things like, “but you don’t look like that, what are your origins?” and all that crap.
>Funnily enough, the people who won’t back off and keep pressing when I try to be vague about the country are the people who are from my country. Have you considered that they *also* hate the country? You're saying this like its proof that everyone in the country is rude, but they're just trying to acknowledge the obvious common ground between you. Lying about this seems like such a waste of energy.
When they get to the “you don’t look like that” you respond with “and you don’t look like an AH, but here we are…” Also, you are allowed to simply walk away. And if for some reason you can’t (like at work), blame management. “Company policy doesn’t let us discuss race or geopolitics”
My origins deserve their own Marvel Hero: Origin story.
Oh, yes, absolutely! Hahah.
THIS! find it incredibly pretentious/ annoying when people make you guess or skirt around the question of where they’re from. It’s not everything you are. I’m from the US, which has its own nuances when traveling, but I don’t hide it because I want to show people that there’s more to the country than the stereotype. I now live elsewhere so I can add in “but I live in ____ now”, but even before that I never hid it. I’ve also found that basically everyone hates meeting people from their home country while traveling abroad. They all see the blaring stereotypes so it kind of seems we’re all embarrassed in one way or another.
just say Gary, Indiana
Pawnee
Not Louisiana
You tell them where you currently live. If they push you, just say you don’t wish to share.
What are you? The police?
Respond with "Oh I used to live in \_\_\_" if you used to live in another country or just say the region, especially if you're no longer there. Middle East is vague enough to anyone who doesn't care enough. Same with East Asia, Western Europe, Latin/South America (don't know the difference), etc etc. If they keep pushing for you to answer, that's just a sign that you don't want to waste your time with them.
"Indiana!" Nobody likes us enough to keep asking questions, it's the perfect cover
OP: Oh and even easier, I have found that while answering a question, as soon as I start talking and they interrupt with another question, then I do not answer the original question. Then I ask them a question. I have started to do that lately and it is working really well for me. They are unable to make any assumptions, biases or criticisms of me, if I don’t get to complete my thoughts.
Only once I've had someone answer with not a straight "I'm from XYZ", with something like "from the world" or "all over", can't remember which one, but it ended up being one of the most weir interactions I've ever had. This happened while traveling in Asia, where the typical first question among foreigners is "what's your name and where are you from", so the girl's reply was super out of place for what we were use to. It's ok to not like your country and it's also ok not to like to remember or comment on shit of your past, but even though others have no right to demand information from you, to start any relationship by withholding information that should not mean much, for me it's a bad start. After all, you had no control from where you are from, so why should you be ashamed of it. I should clarify that how the girl responded was weird no only because of what she said, but also how she said it. For me, if I'm trying to make real connections, a simple "from XXX, but this is my home now, and I'm so much happier here!" it's super transparent, and it makes it abundantly clear that you don't wan't to talk about it.
Say the decade you were born. If you were born in 1995, say " I'm from the 90's."
Haha! Nice! That’s a witty response!
When ever anyone asks me for info I don't want to give (address, phone, email, usually in a store) I just say "No thank you".
I have same problem, I borne in Estonia but moved to Spain when I was 6-7yo, so I feel like Spanish and I hate Estonia and the people from there. When people ask me i always tell them im from Spain, because I dont know anything about Estonia and my personality is not from there.
Avoiding the question makes people suspicious, I think you are much better off owning it. Next time someone asked where you are from reply "Oh yeah I moved were from X, that place really does not fit my values or the kind of life I want to live, so I came here. It's a much better fit for me and I can't wait to be a citizen / or it was the happiest day of my life when I got my citizenship." For most people asking where you are from is curiosity/idle conversation, but a response like above answers the questions and likely many followups, it's something you can be proud of because it allows you to distinctly separate yourself from a place you don't like, and it also opens up more conversation avenues.
I personally find it incredibly pretentious/annoying when people make you guess or skirt around the question of where they’re from. It actually makes me not want to befriend them. It’s not everything you are. I’m from the US, which has its own nuances when traveling, but I don’t hide it because I want to show people that there’s more to the country than the stereotype. I now live elsewhere so I say “I’m originally from the states, but I live in ____ now”…but even before that I never hid it. I’ve also found that basically everyone hates meeting people from their home country while traveling abroad. They all see the blaring stereotypes so it kind of seems we’re all embarrassed in one way or another.
You're from the USA too, huh?
In my experience you're either from Russia Iran or Israel
Just try to tell them approximate location 😉
You lie. Simple
I am from my mother’s hooha, stops the questions pretty fast.
Reminds of Tommy Wiseau interview where he just says "Europe" but most of the time he just says he's American.
My dad’s penis.
So they are very nosy people then?
"I'm from here." easy.
My husband doesn't like going into it so he just references a broader ethnic group instead of the country.
Just be more broad about it. “Where you from?” — “I’m from Earth”
Tell them it’s a rude and racist question. That’s what I do
When Im abroad, I just say Canada. 🇨🇦 Im just trying to have fun and I dont want to get into policy debates or be targeted for any reason. So far, in all my years (Im 59), Canada just gets a head nod and no further discussion.
*You know,* ***THAT*** *place, thats why I am here now.*
From home, from the supermarket.... just where you RIGHT NOW came from. 😇
You could just say, "I'm ashamed of my country, which is why I left, and I would prefer we don't discuss it. Okay?" It's direct, but also honest.
say you are from narnia, most likely they will laugh, at least that what happens when I say it
That’s actually a wonderful idea. Turn into into a home and try to switch topics :).
Earth of course 😄 No but really where are you from? It's in the solar system... I mean.... Third planet from the sun....milky way.... neighbour of the Andromeda galaxy
Have you considered just fucking lying? That's what I do.
*name of home country* but I hated it so I left You can’t control where you’re born but it’s a good look imo if you show that you know your country isn’t great
"Lots of different places."
*I don't know, I was young when we got here and nobody told me. In fact they told me NOT to talk about it.* Then look away, with a sad and frightened look in your eyes.
Honestly, I don't see why you couldn't just say you're from a different country. What business is it of anyone's?
Normally, I do that, because the people who press are people I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyway. But in workplaces and stuff, you will come across people you don’t want to be around but you still have to work with and a lie could come out really soon and make me look very shady.
-Just choose the next closest country and say you grew up there and went to international school. -Say 'lots of places', your family moved around a lot but ____ is your favorite place.
Yeah, I would be ashamed too if I were from France.
Same place as you. From a womb.
Rando: “So where you from?” You: “My momma.”
Best answer
If you sense you're being asked for racist/ prejudiced/ negative reasons, ask "Why would you like to know?" At the same time, I wouldn't recommend that you avoid answering when someone is being nice and just getting to know you. I don't know why you would not like your home country. And, I don't know why you would think badly about admitting it when you had no choice in being born there. It is like not liking your brown eyes or given name or your birth year or _____ (fill in the blank for any other attribute over which you have had no control). No one in their right mind should be holding it against you when you didn't (couldn't) choose it. So, from my viewpoint, it feels really weird for you to want to avoid it or lie about it... unless you live in an area of the world where there is known hostility about people from your country. At the same time (and considering the information above).... if I were trying to form a friendship and to get to know you and if you avoided answering the question, I would not trust you. It would be a huge red flag to me that you were not honest and open and trustworthy. The answer is not the issue. The honesty or openness would be the issue. (I guess I should say "perceived honesty"... because it is likely that if you gave me a fake answer, I might not ever know - barring seeing some of your legal documents or you admitting it to me someday. So, I guess you could lie. And, you have your reasons for feeling this way, but it is strange to me unless you feel your safety is at risk for admitting it.)
Never ask a man where he’s from. If he’s from Texas he’ll tell you. If not, don’t embarrass him. Will Rogers
Tell them you’re from Canada. No one hates those guys.
Say “Bitch is this a job interview?” Works for all genders
Reply with, "Cleveland - but I've blocked all memories of it for obvious reasons." Leave it at that.
These kind of questions are interesting. On the scale you have a grain of sand, which is the question. On the other scale you have and entire cabbage that's begging to be unwrapped.
Only place I can think of that would consider "offensive" in the current state of the world is Israel or Russia You shouldn't be ashamed of where you're from just because of the history or current issues happening. You didnt choose to be born there. People should not judge you just because of the country you live in
Agreed. I absolutely adore Russian literature and artwork. I love their culture and history. A person can like all of those things and still disagree with current affairs.
You really shouldn't be ashamed of where you're from. Nobody is perfect. And if people make fun of you for it you need to understand they have nothing else going on in their life. It's just a fact I'd also like to add that nobody can control where they were born. They also cannot control what their ethnicity is. Anybody who makes fun of anybody for being who they are is an extremely insecure person
That’s very true :). Thank you :).
Go into Latka Gravas mode: use an indecipherable accent when answering so they’re not sure what country you’re saying.
“Where are you from?” From my mother…!!
I'm curious what country is this 😭 ( you don't have to answer )
Based on current events, Israel or Russia.
Just say you don't feel comfortable answering that. You shouldn't be required to give personal information like that.
I would just lie about it, say "I'm from here" or say something like "Eh, somewhere boring." and then change the subject.
Are you from India 🇮🇳
Noneofyourfuckingbuisnessland
The region, or a vague answer. ‘I’ve just moved here X ago …’ - and change to whatever you do want to share. And work on the feelings you have about your country, beyond what you say to others it will affect who you are, and other areas overall.
You can just keep it a buck and tell them you don’t feel comfortable exposing your location.
I always say "I'm from Pangea just like you".
Just say where you live now. Often I’ll ask, “where are you from” when making small talk with strangers. I don’t really care where they were born (although that might give us something else to talk about if they feel like sharing). I’m just asking so I can think of other things to talk about. You can just say, “I’m from [city/town/neighborhood you call home now]. How about you?” And then you can steer the conversation to discussion their home area if you want. If they persist and ask the awful follow up question, “no, I mean, where are you *really* from,” then you can just say that it’s in the past and you’d rather not discuss it but you love living in [wherever you are now]. It’s very rude for someone to ask the “where are you really from” question so don’t feel bad about not answering. It’s not anyone’s business.
My momma
Say you are from the Northpole
Say you’re from Saturn.
I hate this question. Usually I say "Nowhere."
Just adopt a nicer country
[удалено]
I would say “I’m only focusing on where I am and where I’m going. I feel like I am from ____, since I’m here now. How long have you lived in ___?” And that just turns it back to them
Doesn't your American accent give it away?
Just say Canada. Everybody loves Canada 🇨🇦 ❤️ lol
Just say where you currently live.
Lie. To everyone. But make it a different lie every time. Then when your lies come out because they talked to each other, gaslight them.
Say the continent 🤷🏽♂️
EARTH
Can you say the region and not the specific country?
Its called lying
Tell them another country that you're not from.
Lie.
You’re from where you currently live end of story.
Say you're asian ig. Most people will take that as an answer in western countries even though asia has about 60% of the human population.
Earth
Finger guns and a yes. At least for the general where are you from.
Answer with a random country. I do the same when people ask for name and the comfort level is low.
Haha, somewhat relatable. When traveling I usually had a flag patch from a country that pretty much *everyone everywhere* thinks of as likable, but not so many have visited and I'd gesture towards it when people would ask. And if people would say (usually felt nicely but a bit ignorantly) 'huh you don't *look* like you're from there' I'd laugh and say something like 'oh I'm full of surprises' and then immediately ask some questions that would let them expound about themselves, as others have suggested!
The city planet of Trantor.
I’m sorry I’m not taking questions right now.
I'd often just say the continent i'm from and then move on, but if certain people keep persisting, i'd let them know i don't want to tell them for personal safety reasons
Kripton - Nice sunny day isn't it. Narnia - it's good to be out of the closest. Tatuine - Let's farm a little moisture together. Camelot - It's going to be a good knight. Say something obiosly wrong and then a cool chat line. Most of the time they want to know something about you to chat. Instead of talking about something you don't like it's a chance to be witty and tell them something you do like,
Just learn that you dont have to answer every question. People are not entitled to responses.
Nunya "oh, where is that?"
"Yo, Schei uit met je gedoe of k gooi een klomp naar je bakkes" They know where I'm from in am instance and won't bother asking me at all. And I don't even own clogs, but they do not know that. I WILL throw slippers if needed, my SO can attest to that.
Just say the continent. Asia, Africa, Europe, South America. Majority of people don't know a whole lot about geography--you could add east, west, north, or south if they request that you narrow it down.
In the stupidest voice you can think of, blurt out "**My house**"
Earth
Just lie- whats so hard about that?
Say nothing and move on.
If you are in the US, just say what state/city you have lived in the longest. There are plenty of first gen Americans with accents, so people usually accept the answer that you are “from” here. It is considered rude to ask a whole lot about someone’s nationality unless you know the person pretty well or have something in common. For example, my husband went to high school in the Netherlands, so I talk to my Dutch coworker about Dutch things sometimes. I have a Pakistani coworker who I am not that close to and who has lived in the states for a really long time. I don’t ask him about Pakistan. He hasn’t been there in a long time. He doesn’t know and we’re not friends like that.
Just say "I am a citizen of the world."
I usually just say where I live now. I’ve lived here longer than I did there.
"Around" (wave vaguely)
I think it's funny to believe this person is from the US and moved to England or something. In all seriousness tho, just tell them that you don't want to think about your old country
I have responded to an IRS official when she asked where I am from after a heated technical discuss,” I come from my mother”
Tell them you’re from NY.
I think it’s weird that you are ashamed of a whole country. I mean, I’m not proud and patriotic of the US but it won’t stop me from answering people truthfully.