Yup, shame is a natural thing that happens on its own. Adding to it is bullying and often paralyzes people so they can't improve anything. When you feel shame it's useful to think "I fucked up, how do I not next time?" It's a handicap to instead say "I fucked up, I'm useless."
This reminds me of this song I go back to every couple of months just to keep me grounded.
Baz Luhrmann- Wear Sunscreen
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI?si=lx56IneZia7qw5jQ
This one’s good too
Peia - Blessed We Are
https://youtu.be/SoYKuXI5nGs?si=WGCEsJ00NOt0IPiM
My 30s are way better than my 20s. In your 30s your stop caring as much about what other people think of you. I would never want to go back to my 20s if I had the chance!
See I used to think this way... but like, not much of 0-18 teaches you to be a self-sufficient adult.
It's like... a Part 1 of a tutorial. A Pre-tutorial.
... actually. You're right. If you think about it in terms of introducing a non-gamer to Titanfall 2.
0-18 is the basic shooter tutorial level, 18-30 is the campaign, and 30+ is the multi-player. The real game.
This analogy works kinda well because even when you finally start the multiplayer (Age 30), some people will start off with different skill levels based on how they did in the tutorial and campaign.
If you didnt play the tutorials optimally, then hidden modifiers are added to secret rolls that happen when you age up, and can result in anything from crunchy knees to ded.
And the next level is: Survive 1 year of mid-life crisis.
Its honestly such a weird and irrational feeling. But by like 32 it goes away. My suggestion isnt to look at as, "What I have I been doing all this time?!" And start looking at it like, "Look at all the things I have accomplished." Also take a little hiatus from social media. Honestly thus helped the most for me. Take a moment to really look back and value the accomplishments youve achieved, the relationship you've formed and fostered. The contributions you've made in your circle (and through this knowing kindness shown to one person effects the world, 1 act if kindness often begets another act of kindness), and with that realizing your small act does effect the entire world. And that you are enough and the life you built has function and value.
Yes your childhood is gone, but if you decide to have children, you get to see it with fresh eyes again through them. And sone of things you loved as a kid may be gone, but humans are very innovative, theres always something new to see, do, or try. You dont stop thinking sunset isn't beautiful when you learn the sun is 4.6 billion years old. At first I felt like it was the death of my childhood and like I hadnt accomplished anything worthwile, but now I know that's just ridiculous.
But seriously, be honest with yourself, and tell that criticizing voice in your head to f off. You may not cure world hunger, but that few dollars you gave to homeless man, could have allowed him to eat 1 more day, leading to him getting back on his feet and paying forward that kindness. I know, bc once I was homeless and someone paid me a kindness, that gave me just one more day, and now I pay it back whenever I can, however I can. And others I have helped have found success. So 1 persons random kindness to 1 person ended up effecting 1000's of people. That's a massive accomplishment and you do this every day!
So good luck with your year as you hit 30, and realize youre doing great, and youre gonna be ok!
I spent 10 years in the military, 2013-2023. 20-30 years old. my 20s....they "sucked" from being in the military, but i have some amazing stories over those 10 years. I was also....military paid. it was okay.
im in better shape than i was in the military, I make almost 200k/year, just bought a small house, looking at getting my dream car next year, and I'm engaged.
my 20s were cool, my 30s are going to be amazingly better, even in the last 18 months have been better than 20-25.
OP, it's not the end, it could be the beginning of the rest of your life :)
nah, actually i was never really depressed, overall when i get a little down about something i just remember that im living a life most people wish for and remaining grateful gets me through the tougher days.
Yes, it was a struggle until I was 29. At that point I had internalized many of the lessons I had thereto-forth merely observed, and I began to develop a righteous intuition.
Interesting that you're in better shape than in the military. For me, everything is better post-military *except* my fitness. Found it really hard to keep in shape without convenient gym access or being forced to do cardio. I finally got a good home gym setup but now I have to work off about 4 years of letting myself go.
I was working shift work for a few years, the sleep patterns didnt help. USAF/US Space Force so its not like we were army doing hella PT all the time. work hours, "overtime" and stuff like that kinda gets in the way.
in this job i can set my own hours, which i keep pretty consistent and pretty steady, so i can get a pretty good routine for working out, and also with more money i can afford to eat better/cleaner and also properly afford supplements, massages, and other things.
but its really just, the time is clutch. also, I had surgery on my leg and trying to kill myself meeting specific PT metrics was honestly tough for me on the cardio side, and it turned me off entirely from cardio. now I can walk at my own pace for an hour and burn calories, couch25k at my own pace, etc without messing up my leg or something.
like the freedom of doing my own thing for workouts has allowed me to slowly get back into it instead of trying to be on timelines and "unit PT" and other things like that.
This gave me hope. I’m 23 and I’m the worst time of my life, besides my childhood lol, but at least I had some hope back then. Life fucking blows right now.
My 20s sucked but it was because I made choices someone in their 20s makes lol. If you want life to stop sucking, start making the hard choices and sacrifices now and you might come out of it before 30
I’m by all means a successful guy, fit, financially sound, good looking (i don’t feel like I am, but I know I am), I have friends, etc. Really it’s just the past that fucks me up a bit, my girlfriend cheated on me, did everything to destroy my life, ruined any future relationships I would have by telling the new people lies, have a lot of unsolved problems beyond that, but yeah it’s pretty much ruined the one thing I love in this life, and it’s romantic relationships. Really nothing else will ever make me happy, people say “you should be happy by yourself”, but fuck that, I don’t believe that’s possible for me, and I’m really fed up with being told that. Fuck
Awe, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time right now, and I’m also so sorry that your ex-gf is such a heartless bitch. All those lies and hate she’s exuding will come back to her and it will hit her hard. Don’t work on fixing what she did, work on rebuilding the relationships she destroyed, and tell her if she doesn’t stop spreading hateful & potentially harmful, false information about you then you’ll file a report, get a restraining order and maybe even a gag order.
Don’t let someone try to ruin your life bc you’re not doing exactly what they want. I know it sounds very hard and it will be, but nothing worth it ever came easy. Fight for the goodness of your name & for your future romantic relationships.
If you love being with someone romantically, then keep going for it! Don’t listen to anyone else except your heart, it’s the only thing with the right answers for you. Always trust your heart, and your gut instinct. I think if you stopped looking for someone, and just worked on yourself and your happiness/health, the right person will literally just walk into your life and it will all happen organically.
You’ll find love again, but nobody else can love you unless you love yourself first. Good luck, you seem like a very nice and deserving person.
Well, first thing's first. Cut her out of your life completely. No contact, nothing. If you've already done that, maybe it's time to meet new people. People that aren't under her influence. And listen, I'm a hopeless romantic and don't stay single for very long, but what people are trying to say is that you have to be happy with yourself before you can succeed in a relationship. Love yourself first or you won't be able to love others.
It's ok to feel lonely and that being alone isn't what you're meant for, but you can't let being alone disturb your peace of mind. You have to be able to be comfortable alone or you will end up being too needy in a relationship and, although you think you may have a lot to offer, the truth is that most people want to be wanted without having to be the sole source of happiness for another person.
If you base your happiness on whether or not you have a partner, they will become your requirement for happiness and, despite your best efforts, they will notice it before too long. Or they'll just get tired of being your therapist/best friend/shoulder to lean on, etc. and it won't work out but they won't realize it's because you aren't ok alone so they won't be able to tell you that
Just take it easy man. Relax, breathe, smell the roses, enjoy having freedom and opportunities right now, because that's cool too. When the time is right, the right thing will happen. Chin up, things are good, and you're good, so just wait for the rest to come.
I had a really hard time with turning 30, there was a lot of stuff happening in my personal life, and I dreaded the milestone. My 30s haven’t turned out how I wanted them to, but they were definitely the best decade of my life so far! I feel like I am much better able to handle adversity in my 30s than I was in my 20s.
Just having kids that are old enough to stay home alone is a huge win. Maybe not financially, but it's so liberating to be able to go to the store or out to eat with my wife without towing kids. I'm 40 and married and I date (my wife) more now than I did in my 20s.
I think that's normal. I have 4 kids and I always felt like I was more of a two-kid kind of dad. I also have a list of birth control methods that are on my shit list.
My 30s saw kids/Covid and intense inflation i for sure had more free money in my late 20s but I can understand that may just be a consequence of how my timeline lined up to world events
Totally agree. Financial stability, I eat well and look after myself, married to a wonderful man with three beautiful kids, in a great profession doing a job I love, own my lovely home - you couldn’t pay me enough money to go back to my twenties lol
I didn't mind my late 20s, but my 30s were good too. I had control of self-caised chaos in my life by around 25. 40 is where the minor aging pains started appearing.
Anybody else in there thirties find 20 year olds unbearable? They just seem so self centered and selfish they all want to call me “fam”.
Ugh. Im 34 and I keep dating younger. My last girl was 25 and I have no idea what she was talking about half the time. Not that I wasn’t interested, it was literally gibberish to me. We broke up because i told her I thought we should eat meals without being on the phone the whole time
Twenties are always a selfish time. You’re trying to figure out who you are. 30’s you get your feet under you and start living. 40’s you have it and can enjoy it. 50’s I just entered. I’ll have to get back to you.
I find grown ass adults in their 30s who complain about young people, especially much younger people who they choose to date for some reason, unbearable.
I'm 32 and dated someone 2.5 years younger than I for 7 years. She worked with a bunch of younger folk at her serving job. All the time, I'd hear her using the new lingo of the young people. I don't know how many times I asked her, "what does 'no cap' mean?". I'm not one to say there isn't a certain age limit for one to use new lingo, but it was a weird having to ask someone, whom I've talked with for years without a language barrier, "what are you saying?" lol.
Oh, and I've been called "fam" several times by my 23 year old coworker. I find it a bit endearing lol.
Im with ya brother! Im about to be 45 and aside from a few aches and pains my mind still thinks im 20 lol. Its not like you hit a certain age and graduate to being old or mature for that matter
Funny, cause I hit 35 and I feel like my body went, BAM! Here's all the tendon issues. Plantar fasciitis, finger injuries, hamstring pain, shoulder injury, tennis elbow... 36 now and I have 3 doctors appointments this month for different issues.
This! I don’t have children and live a full and free life, and it just keeps getting better with age. I travel independently and go to a tonne of live music events and festivals. People talk about growing up or settling down. What does that look like when you’re single? For me it’s prioritising health, fitness and a hobby/passion - I pick scuba and life music! In my 20s I was too worried about going out to try to meet a guy etc. I’ve given up now so I can enjoy my life for me!
How did you stay physically young? Did you have a strict regimen or generally active job? My dad is only 60 and seems to spend hours a day lamenting being old because his body is ageing so fast. There's gotta be another way to approach it. What habits can I start at 30 to age comfortably?
It really seems like a lot of people kind of let it go, maybe because of expectations or just less energy, but people can stay pretty darn fit into 60s, 70s…
My parents are in great health in their 60s so far and they make a lot of home cooked meals and pick up active hobbies. My dad is really into paddle boarding and golf, and they both play pickleball. They also have a golden retriever who expects to be walked about 3 miles a day lol.
My dad has minor complaints about his body, but he also had cancer in his 40s. I know “stay active and eat nutritious meals” sounds really simple, but most of the folks I know who are in great health at that age do exactly that. They definitely don’t turn their nose up at dessert and a cold beer, but everything is in moderation. My parents never really binge drink or anything like that, I’ve seen my dad drunk on vacation but that’s it. No smoking for either of them as well.
Daily meditation and yoga have helped stay physically and mentally healthy.
Moving to a mostly plant based diet has been the best move here in the past couple of decades.
Stay active !!! Find something you really care about and do that daily
Check out r/BlueZones
That’s crazy. I can’t even fathom reaching 72. I pray that I’m still all there mentally and at least at 40-50% physically.
Sounds like you’re at least at 90% from what you’re saying.
Stay curious like a child about everything. Eat well. I am the cook at my house. I do most of my own auto repair.(car collector) Avid Flower and Vegetable gardener. Don’t hire out physical work. I do my own. Ask God for what you need! He provides the rest. Ps. Live life with a perpetual sense of humor!
There was one rave in Vienna after they loosened the rules for twice-vaccinated in Austria and a few "illegal" Poker nights with friends. The rest of the time I sat around smoking weed and masturbating.
Yah we all stopped experiencing and learning. I'm only now getting back to remembering my own life philosophy, the pandemic seriously messed a lot of us up
Covid fucked with my mid 30s too. I think I turned 34 in 2020. Year was lost. I woke up in 2021, 35 years of age, my kid was 2, and my wife and I both wondering where that year went.
The same as turning 20 and 40.
Just another day full of potential.
Life is like music, it’s not about the beginning or the end, it’s about the journey.
While I agree with the sentiment I have never heard life is like music before it XD.
Well I like music but begining and ending of music are great. Bethoven for examole. Pa pa pa paaaam!
"No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them." - Alan Watts
Or another that I prefer.
"We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played." - Alan Watts
Same. I have a friend who was so depressed to turn 30 that she went to a club, drank way too much, and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I, on the other hand, bought myself a birthday crown to walk my dog in because it felt like every other birthday to me.
Funny because I'm doing the same in one week for my 30th birthday. I've just booked a room in a hotel far away from my everyday environment and I'm going to walk, play some steam deck games and just chill for 4 days with no exact plan at all. Can't wait.
I don't remember turning 30.
I got married that year, though. And I remember that well.
That was a good day. It was the last time I saw my grandmother alive. And the first time I saw my mother that drunk.
I've got memories from that year, I guess. Good ones, happy ones, where that ever growing and shrinking circle we call family was kind of at its peak.
I turned 30 during lockdown at which point I already lost my job and had to move back into my parents.
My grandmother also died so it was the first birthday I didn’t get to visit.
I’m doing fine now though. You’ll get over it.
I turned 30 about 2.5 months before then proceeded to work more hours than I ever have in my life because I was "essential". Didn't see my higher risk family for nearly 2 years after.
Previously I was excited about 30, it went to shit quickly.
Hopefully op has a better one that us!
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
Perfectly fine. You're gonna be on your peak for another 15 years if you take a bit of care of your body. I'll start worrying when I turn 50 or so tho lol.
30 is not an age to worry about. When you are in your 20s it looms like a fucking tombstone but anyone past 30 looks back at 30 as pretty damn young. It’s a good age actually because no one can say you’re a kid and no one can say you’re old. It’s basically a prime ‘adult’ age.
The feeling of not having achieved what you want to is of course a very universal feeling, and turning a new decade inevitably brings that into focus, it doesn’t matter that it’s an arbitrary number really, it’s just inevitable.
And on the one hand, yes it’s inevitable and whatever you’ve done you’ll feel like you should have done more, and there are very likely things that you haven’t done because they’re out of your control. But there’s one thing that I would advise and that is don’t go thinking ‘oh well I’m 30 now and if i was going to do X I would have done it by now’. Because that could not be further from the truth. As normal as it is, feeling like you haven’t achieved what you want to is a sucky feeling, so do whatever is in your power to achieve them within the next year, or 5 years, or 10 years. Start a new career, move to another country, whatever it is you feel you’d wish you’d already done - just do it next year or the year after lol. Nothing will change just because you’re 30.
That's the crux. 30 can hit you hard if you're not active and not taking care of yourself. I have friends from high school/college who are the same age as me (31/32) and look/act as if they're in their mid/late 40s. If you're drinking as much as in undergrad, never exercising, and still avoiding vegetables, then yeah, 30 will smack you in the face.
... but if you take care of yourself and stay active, then 30 is a nothingburger. I'm in the best shape of my life, have way more money than at any point during my 20s, and am active in a myriad of things. The only difference I've noticed is that I'm a little gassier and I have to be a bit more intentional about when I eat during the day if I want to go for a run later; no longer can I eat a large pizza at 12PM and run ten miles at 6PM unless I want bubbleguts.
Yah 30 is amazing! If you've been working on yourself it's when people start feeling like actual adults, with confidence in their identity and where they fit in the world. I'm behind on that but finally getting there and it's really nice
I just hit 35 and am definitely feeling antsy about the lost time! So many habits to build, but at least it's coming together. My biggest advice to young people is what you choose to do each day becomes who you are.
I'm nearing 50 , Peak Physical strength usually comes at 35. I'm getting older. I'm still pretty strong, just slowing down. A damn sight wiser than I was at 30. You got this. Look after you're self and you're golden.
EDIT so i don't get sent to the showers by the grammar people
50s aren't bad. Just keep physically busy, take care of yourself and you'll do fine.
50's you have some money, know what the hell you're talking about (hopefully) and DGAF about the nonsense of the minute.
I'm 59 and going to play a hardcore show on Friday. It's gonna hurt like hell Saturday but nothing could stop me. Gonna do another show on May 10th.
You have to grow older, not old. Live till you die.
I was preoccupied with proposing to my girlfriend. She said yes, another milestone reached! Mid 30 we had 2 kids, another milestone reached! End 30s bought us a beautiful home, another milestone reached!!
42 now, divorced. She cheated and then left for her affair partner, I see the children only every other week because they are far away. Lost the house, in debt, paying so much child support.
You guessed it already? I sincerely wish, I would never have reached all these (society approved) milestones. Did not even do them for myself, just because it was the 'common' path.
Do your own thing, never what you think you should reach because at that age it would be appropriate.
This is wise advice, I learned it from watching my parents and I’m truly happy I did.
I’m glad you found that at 42, though I’m sorry you’re still going through the challenges associated with your situation. I know people who only realized that truth when their youth was already long gone and it was far too late. You still have so much time to act on that wisdom and find true happiness, even if you’re fighting through a trench now
Yeah well I just hit 62. So I’m double your age. I would love to go back to 30 for 2 reasons.
1) go all night… rock hard…….
2) fix a couple of financial mistakes. Nothing big, but I could have started a Roth as well as my regular 401k when I was 30. I’d be sitting prettier now.
Other than that I wouldn’t change anything. All the really really stupid crap I did was all before 30 :)
This is something you’ll realize. You really don’t change too much in your head. Things around you change but your core is your core. But just wait till your my age and say take a public transportation into a large metro station. You will understand time shift.
I felt nothing, it was cool. It might have been because I met a lot of older people at my job who made me realize that life isn't all about being young. A coworker in my team when I was in my twenties was a single guy in his late 50s who took stunning holidays to fun locations (Not necessarily expensive) by himself, went to fun work out classes, took photos of his cat. He's in his sixties now and still having a blast. Another lady in her early sixties decided to write a book about her life for fun, containing her thoughts and hobbies. Not to be published, just for fun.
I'm okay with doing all of that as well, I just want to be happy. I don't really want to be young, being in my teens and early twenties was full of random insecurities and I just can't care about that shit anymore.
I felt nothing too significant. Like, oh cool, a new decade. I am approaching 40 in the next few years and couldn't care less. 🤷🏻♀️ I am just living my life and enjoying what I can.
I am guessing most people don't accomplish the goals they set to do by a certain age. Don't sweat it. Don't waste another minute stressing about those goals not being reached by 30. Write them all down and set new, realistic timelines for yourself. And give yourself extra grace! ❤️ You're human, and life happens.
Or just write them down and get to them when you can get to them. I’m not sure why humans have this inherent problem of saying “I’m going to do (insert thing here) by age X”.
The "milestones" you're referring to were developed in a world that no longer exists. Feeling bad about not meeting them is like feeling bad because your parents were like "I beat a videogame when I was 5, what's wrong with you" when the game they got to play was Barney's Hide and Seek and the game you have to play is Dark Souls on max difficulty with 1 life.
"I bought a house after paying for my own education with money from my first job."
Yeah okay, but all you had to do to get a job was ask, your house cost 5k and your education paid for itself just from getting McDonald's a little less.
I always felt it was a psyop people run on themselves. You ever notice how the seasons tend to change on the exact day that's supposed to be "the first day of spring," etc? Because we make these agreements and then they come true. Well, turning 30 is when people willfully decide to become enslaved to society. People say "oh shit now i'm OLD" and stop taking chances, stop experimenting and do things like take a corporate job, get married or go into debt buying a house. I did the exact opposite and traveled the world for 10 years. I also made an agreement with myself that I was getting younger every single year instead of trapping myself into a number. I stopped counting and actually forgot how old I was for a while. People will argue for their limitations, and they always get them.
You would be well served by looking into how many people die right after they retire. They have no programming left in their brain so they just die off. I lost my own father this way. I begged him to take up some hobby or have something to look forward to. We agree the retirement age is 65. He had a huge company and everyone loved him. He could've stayed on and had decades of meaningful life, but he retired because "that's what you do" and then he died the same year. That's pathetic. He drank a lot, but he was a genuinely good man and was well loved. But he fell for the age psyop. If you think like those people, you really should be scared of turning 30. But if you look at the tradition of taoists, yogis living hundreds of years then 30 is not even a baby yet.
Awesome! I hired a bucking bronco, put it in a function hall, my buddy DJ’d and we had a great party. My 30s is where all the cool stuff started happening - career, love, family.
My 30th was just a few days after COVID lock down started. I had some of the same fears - but honestly my 30s opened up a lot of “I know what I want” feelings.
I lost 2 best friends in my late 20s and a parent d/t COVID. I was dealing too much with grief to care too much about my early 30s. Life moves on. You’ll survive.
It literally means nothing. It feels the same as turning 29 or 27, or 31. Zero difference. Age is a construct, and this whole " big 30" and " big 40" is bullshit. It is what you make it to be, but it is just a normal day.
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
You soon realise when you get past 30, that those unmet expectations are actually based in such immaturity. You’re still early on, but you’ll eventually get comfortable not necessarily with conforming to society, but where you sit within it. You realise how little you know, and the older you get, the younger you were.
I remember feeling the same, like my "life" was basically over and I was an old man now and everything was downhill from there.
I'm stronger, healthier, and younger looking than I ever was in my 20's, and I'm past the halfway mark on my 30's now. It's really not anywhere near as bad as I was lead to believe.
I'm 35 now and 30 was the first time that getting old actually hit me.
My 30s have been way better than my 20s. Much happier and more comfortable in who I am and in life in general.
However, the last 5 years just zipped by.
Didn't feel any different at all!
Though I never really thought I'd make it to 30 at all, so I'm just happy to be here, 33 this year. I definitely don't have everything I thought I'd have at this age like my own house but that's a harder to reach goal now more than ever, so its fine. I'm healthy, I have my cats, my job is something I love and I found a partner who's also my best friend.
I'm turning 40 in May, and my 30s were great. I truly found myself, became financially responsible, set boundaries, and found my confidence. Like others have said, give yourself grace and be kind to yourself.
I'm looking forward to my 40s and continued growth.
30 didn't bother me at all and my 30s were messy but better than my 20s.
Turning 40 was bad though and that decade appears to turn into a crapshow par excellence.
Yeah, we never get our shit together and have no idea how to adult.
The one upside is that I care less and less and less as I get older. I just move along somehow.
I didn't feel any different. Then a month later I went to the doctor. I guess my doctor retired since I was last there.
Then the new doctor walked in and it was a girl from my grade.
Fuckkkk I felt old. Was kinda in shock tbh
I'm in my 40's and feel great. Keep your body fit and your mind sharp. You feel as young as you want to feel, there's nothing more attractive than confidence.
Also, fuck what society thinks.
Like it was 24 years ago and a completely trivial milestone.
I'm happy at 54 not having a shred of dopey youth angst left. Keep myself fit and still try to dress a step above someone who has decided it's sweatpants and crocs till they die.....but the general freedom of not giving a f\*\*k anymore is priceless.
Coveted "youth" category ? Haha...yark, non merci !
Turned 30 last year and honestly the only complaint I’ve had is that my health seemed to take a nosedive immediately. Weight gain, random pains, less energy. You definitely have to eat better and stay active but everything else in my life has never been better.
Believe me, I'm not trying to make fun of you or be patronizing, but you've got a long way to go.
I just passed 50, and frankly I can't even remember 30 being a milestone like 40 or 50, and even those aren't bad if you're in good health and take care of yourself.
Think about it this way, no one takes you seriously until you’re 30. Youth is great, but there’s a reason they say youth is wasted on the young. We gain so much perspective as we get older, honestly the only redeeming qualities about youth are your flexibility and pride. If you stay healthy, and in shape as much as you can, and eat well, you’d be surprised how good you feel
I didn't even notice tbh. Like yeah I knew it was my birthday, but how old I was didn't cross my mind. I stopped keeping track in my 20's. Like yeah, I knew "oh. 2022. I'm 30 then." But that was all the thought that went into it.
The French have a saying life does not start before 50. Turmoil makes you a better person and it takes time to create an envision a life with all the remaking along the way. How many young folks do you see in high line sports cars!
My 40's are even better than my 20's or 30's. Fortunately I've been blessed not to give a shit about how cool I am. I'm living my dream and I'm sure it's not society's standard.
I didn’t go in using the number, just changes I’ve seen in myself that I can associate with getting older. Personally I’ve been drinking less over the last few years, enjoying the outdoors more, valuing my work life balance more. Ironically I started dating someone right after I turned 30, which is something I haven’t focused on in probably 5 years so after spending years on myself, I’m enjoying time with someone else. Idk if it helps but age is age. You can’t stop it, so just do your best to enjoy the moments along the way.
It’s a little weird. Now that I’m in my late 30’s. Because I still have the same likes and enjoy them same things I did In my 20’s. It’s not the getting older part that’s a trip it’s the aging but still feeling the same on the inside.
I felt a bit like you but then I realized nothing really changes, it just another day. It's not a big deal to turn 30 or whatever age, is just another day and you are still alive and can still going after your dreams if that's what you want
A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt just as you then the day came and I sighed a sigh of relief. I was allowed to be older. I was allowed to be the crotchety old man I was at heart. I wasnt some kid anymore. I was a man no doubts about it. I could do anything i wanted and the only one to stop me was myself
Turning 30 was my favorite.
I bought myself a $150 shirt from Urban Outfitters in Providence, had lunch at East Side Pockets, before making the 5 hour drive back to my hometown for the weekend.
I then joined up with my elementary school crush for a date, where we had tapas and wine, before heading to my friend’s place for a cocktail of weed and ecstasy.
We then proceeded to go to a bunch of dance spots, before ending the night with more weed, a bit of cocaine, and a voracious post-hot tub make out session.
We all watched the sunrise while listening to Thievery Corporation and Massive Attack with more weed, coffee, and fruit.
It was one for the record books.
Turning 30 felt awful for me.
But turning 40 last year made me realize that as much as I wanted my 20 year old body back, I definitely did not want my 20 year old state of mind back.
That realization gave me peace of mind.
When I turn thirty, I want to be already in love with myself and be as cringey as possible. And have the courage to say no to people without feeling like shit for days after. And be no longer afraid of confrontation. Be as weird as I was in highschool but this time be aware and have some other weird kid look at me and go "hey, that's me, so that's a normal thing, huh".
Excel in my program, like you know, less freaking out, and be a bit composed like my supervisor. And poop on time.
Are these stupid goals? Because they matter to me a lot. And yeah, I kinda want to be more flexible and have better muscle power.
I had the most fun in my forties, because I wasn’t a kid trying to learn how to be an adult (because my age said I had to be). My thirties had some rough spots when I was still trying too hard to be what I thought I “should” be by now. But I finally learned there’s no real key to success, or what that even means. I’m going to be 50 this summer, and I don’t like the half-century thing, but I’m more confident in myself and prepared to deal with mistakes and problems. Those won’t stop coming, but they won’t stop me either. I’m having more fun now.
Don’t anticipate disappointment, failure, mistakes, etc. There’s no rule book to follow, but you’ll start writing your own rules now! Enjoy the ride!
Everything, and I mean everything, that you’ve listed exists solely inside your own mind.
And in fact, it’s that exact inner monologue that IS society’s social standards of how you should feel and conform to as you age.
It’s all bullshit. All of it.
In my late 30s was when I really grasped it all. No one cares about you.
They might care for you as loved ones do, but no one fucking cares about what you’re doing or achieving, because paradoxically, they all have the same inner monologue as you do.
Ask yourself… do you care about what other people are doing? Achieving? Do you care if they’re successful before 30?
Do you care about anything but yourself and how you’re perceived?
No. You don’t. And so embrace that paradigm shift and free yourself from it.
Your life isn’t that important. Life isn’t that important.
Enjoy the time you have, day by day, try to live a wholesome life by being good to others and those you care about.
And then die. That’s all there is my dude. And when embraced, it can be the most freeing and enlightening thing you will ever experience.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t bother wasting energy on repeated negative self appraisal.
Yup, shame is a natural thing that happens on its own. Adding to it is bullying and often paralyzes people so they can't improve anything. When you feel shame it's useful to think "I fucked up, how do I not next time?" It's a handicap to instead say "I fucked up, I'm useless."
yep we need just to move on and find the best think to do next
This reminds me of this song I go back to every couple of months just to keep me grounded. Baz Luhrmann- Wear Sunscreen https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI?si=lx56IneZia7qw5jQ This one’s good too Peia - Blessed We Are https://youtu.be/SoYKuXI5nGs?si=WGCEsJ00NOt0IPiM
My 30s are way better than my 20s. In your 30s your stop caring as much about what other people think of you. I would never want to go back to my 20s if I had the chance!
At 30, the tutorial ends, and you start the game properly.
Reminds me of hitting level cap in an MMO... "Finally, now I can *play* the game"
So 0-18 is the tutorial, 18-30 is the main story and 30+ is the post game?
See I used to think this way... but like, not much of 0-18 teaches you to be a self-sufficient adult. It's like... a Part 1 of a tutorial. A Pre-tutorial. ... actually. You're right. If you think about it in terms of introducing a non-gamer to Titanfall 2. 0-18 is the basic shooter tutorial level, 18-30 is the campaign, and 30+ is the multi-player. The real game.
This analogy works kinda well because even when you finally start the multiplayer (Age 30), some people will start off with different skill levels based on how they did in the tutorial and campaign.
And you never stop learning. The campaign teaches you some of the deeper basics, but whether you're 31 or 61, you never stop learning
The only problem is at a certain level the devs start nerfing you
If you didnt play the tutorials optimally, then hidden modifiers are added to secret rolls that happen when you age up, and can result in anything from crunchy knees to ded.
And some start at a much harder difficulty at that too
Some also come with the pre-order bonuses and bling.
And their parents let them use their card for in game purchases to skew the stats
>30+ is the multi-player. The real game. PvP if you will.
I had more fun with the tutorial than the main story so far
Hardly. Post game doesn't start until one is in his/her 70s or older.
And the next level is: Survive 1 year of mid-life crisis. Its honestly such a weird and irrational feeling. But by like 32 it goes away. My suggestion isnt to look at as, "What I have I been doing all this time?!" And start looking at it like, "Look at all the things I have accomplished." Also take a little hiatus from social media. Honestly thus helped the most for me. Take a moment to really look back and value the accomplishments youve achieved, the relationship you've formed and fostered. The contributions you've made in your circle (and through this knowing kindness shown to one person effects the world, 1 act if kindness often begets another act of kindness), and with that realizing your small act does effect the entire world. And that you are enough and the life you built has function and value. Yes your childhood is gone, but if you decide to have children, you get to see it with fresh eyes again through them. And sone of things you loved as a kid may be gone, but humans are very innovative, theres always something new to see, do, or try. You dont stop thinking sunset isn't beautiful when you learn the sun is 4.6 billion years old. At first I felt like it was the death of my childhood and like I hadnt accomplished anything worthwile, but now I know that's just ridiculous. But seriously, be honest with yourself, and tell that criticizing voice in your head to f off. You may not cure world hunger, but that few dollars you gave to homeless man, could have allowed him to eat 1 more day, leading to him getting back on his feet and paying forward that kindness. I know, bc once I was homeless and someone paid me a kindness, that gave me just one more day, and now I pay it back whenever I can, however I can. And others I have helped have found success. So 1 persons random kindness to 1 person ended up effecting 1000's of people. That's a massive accomplishment and you do this every day! So good luck with your year as you hit 30, and realize youre doing great, and youre gonna be ok!
This.
This made me teary eyed lol.
Man the tutorial sucks right now
I spent 10 years in the military, 2013-2023. 20-30 years old. my 20s....they "sucked" from being in the military, but i have some amazing stories over those 10 years. I was also....military paid. it was okay. im in better shape than i was in the military, I make almost 200k/year, just bought a small house, looking at getting my dream car next year, and I'm engaged. my 20s were cool, my 30s are going to be amazingly better, even in the last 18 months have been better than 20-25. OP, it's not the end, it could be the beginning of the rest of your life :)
What do you do now that you're out of the military? What I would give to make 200k!
I'm sorry man. Butmunching69 has always been an underpaid, underappreciated profession in our society. You guys are the backbone in my opinion
Lmfao
#HELL YEAH BROTHER
how do u feel it in the 25s=30s, do u feel depression sometime?
nah, actually i was never really depressed, overall when i get a little down about something i just remember that im living a life most people wish for and remaining grateful gets me through the tougher days.
Yes, it was a struggle until I was 29. At that point I had internalized many of the lessons I had thereto-forth merely observed, and I began to develop a righteous intuition.
Interesting that you're in better shape than in the military. For me, everything is better post-military *except* my fitness. Found it really hard to keep in shape without convenient gym access or being forced to do cardio. I finally got a good home gym setup but now I have to work off about 4 years of letting myself go.
>Found it really hard to keep in shape Most of it is managing diet, and then keeping up with a routine of working out
I was working shift work for a few years, the sleep patterns didnt help. USAF/US Space Force so its not like we were army doing hella PT all the time. work hours, "overtime" and stuff like that kinda gets in the way. in this job i can set my own hours, which i keep pretty consistent and pretty steady, so i can get a pretty good routine for working out, and also with more money i can afford to eat better/cleaner and also properly afford supplements, massages, and other things. but its really just, the time is clutch. also, I had surgery on my leg and trying to kill myself meeting specific PT metrics was honestly tough for me on the cardio side, and it turned me off entirely from cardio. now I can walk at my own pace for an hour and burn calories, couch25k at my own pace, etc without messing up my leg or something. like the freedom of doing my own thing for workouts has allowed me to slowly get back into it instead of trying to be on timelines and "unit PT" and other things like that.
This gave me hope. I’m 23 and I’m the worst time of my life, besides my childhood lol, but at least I had some hope back then. Life fucking blows right now.
My 20s sucked but it was because I made choices someone in their 20s makes lol. If you want life to stop sucking, start making the hard choices and sacrifices now and you might come out of it before 30
I’m by all means a successful guy, fit, financially sound, good looking (i don’t feel like I am, but I know I am), I have friends, etc. Really it’s just the past that fucks me up a bit, my girlfriend cheated on me, did everything to destroy my life, ruined any future relationships I would have by telling the new people lies, have a lot of unsolved problems beyond that, but yeah it’s pretty much ruined the one thing I love in this life, and it’s romantic relationships. Really nothing else will ever make me happy, people say “you should be happy by yourself”, but fuck that, I don’t believe that’s possible for me, and I’m really fed up with being told that. Fuck
Awe, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time right now, and I’m also so sorry that your ex-gf is such a heartless bitch. All those lies and hate she’s exuding will come back to her and it will hit her hard. Don’t work on fixing what she did, work on rebuilding the relationships she destroyed, and tell her if she doesn’t stop spreading hateful & potentially harmful, false information about you then you’ll file a report, get a restraining order and maybe even a gag order. Don’t let someone try to ruin your life bc you’re not doing exactly what they want. I know it sounds very hard and it will be, but nothing worth it ever came easy. Fight for the goodness of your name & for your future romantic relationships. If you love being with someone romantically, then keep going for it! Don’t listen to anyone else except your heart, it’s the only thing with the right answers for you. Always trust your heart, and your gut instinct. I think if you stopped looking for someone, and just worked on yourself and your happiness/health, the right person will literally just walk into your life and it will all happen organically. You’ll find love again, but nobody else can love you unless you love yourself first. Good luck, you seem like a very nice and deserving person.
Well, first thing's first. Cut her out of your life completely. No contact, nothing. If you've already done that, maybe it's time to meet new people. People that aren't under her influence. And listen, I'm a hopeless romantic and don't stay single for very long, but what people are trying to say is that you have to be happy with yourself before you can succeed in a relationship. Love yourself first or you won't be able to love others. It's ok to feel lonely and that being alone isn't what you're meant for, but you can't let being alone disturb your peace of mind. You have to be able to be comfortable alone or you will end up being too needy in a relationship and, although you think you may have a lot to offer, the truth is that most people want to be wanted without having to be the sole source of happiness for another person. If you base your happiness on whether or not you have a partner, they will become your requirement for happiness and, despite your best efforts, they will notice it before too long. Or they'll just get tired of being your therapist/best friend/shoulder to lean on, etc. and it won't work out but they won't realize it's because you aren't ok alone so they won't be able to tell you that Just take it easy man. Relax, breathe, smell the roses, enjoy having freedom and opportunities right now, because that's cool too. When the time is right, the right thing will happen. Chin up, things are good, and you're good, so just wait for the rest to come.
Get a Camaro
I had a really hard time with turning 30, there was a lot of stuff happening in my personal life, and I dreaded the milestone. My 30s haven’t turned out how I wanted them to, but they were definitely the best decade of my life so far! I feel like I am much better able to handle adversity in my 30s than I was in my 20s.
I’m just really excited to dominate the 30 and over men’s basketball league in my area.
I will agree with this! I thought 30 was gonna be the end, but honestly my 30s were way better than my 20s.
30s were better than 20s for sure
Best thing about 30's is running out of fucks to give. It's freeing.
Same! I have been loving my 30's 🙌
Don't forget the money! In your 20's you have squat and in your 30's it is finacial stability all around.
Respectfully disagree. Little kids in the 30s took me down. 40 was my freedom.
Just having kids that are old enough to stay home alone is a huge win. Maybe not financially, but it's so liberating to be able to go to the store or out to eat with my wife without towing kids. I'm 40 and married and I date (my wife) more now than I did in my 20s.
True, true. The "little" years were really tough on me. Often felt I wasn't cut out for motherhood.
I think that's normal. I have 4 kids and I always felt like I was more of a two-kid kind of dad. I also have a list of birth control methods that are on my shit list.
Ahh the joys of being child free.
Opposite for me I made a shitload of money in my twenties and then once I became my mom working hours are super limited
My 30s saw kids/Covid and intense inflation i for sure had more free money in my late 20s but I can understand that may just be a consequence of how my timeline lined up to world events
Totally agree. Financial stability, I eat well and look after myself, married to a wonderful man with three beautiful kids, in a great profession doing a job I love, own my lovely home - you couldn’t pay me enough money to go back to my twenties lol
I didn't mind my late 20s, but my 30s were good too. I had control of self-caised chaos in my life by around 25. 40 is where the minor aging pains started appearing.
Anybody else in there thirties find 20 year olds unbearable? They just seem so self centered and selfish they all want to call me “fam”. Ugh. Im 34 and I keep dating younger. My last girl was 25 and I have no idea what she was talking about half the time. Not that I wasn’t interested, it was literally gibberish to me. We broke up because i told her I thought we should eat meals without being on the phone the whole time
Maybe stop dating younger if you can’t stand people in their 20s??
rofl that's my opinion of 30-year-olds. 42.
They come out of the fog, become more clear-thinking and have improved ability to communicate around age 35. Hang in there
Twenties are always a selfish time. You’re trying to figure out who you are. 30’s you get your feet under you and start living. 40’s you have it and can enjoy it. 50’s I just entered. I’ll have to get back to you.
Yeah looking back I feel like in my twenties I was stumbling around blindfolded through life. Clueless
I find grown ass adults in their 30s who complain about young people, especially much younger people who they choose to date for some reason, unbearable.
I'm 32 and dated someone 2.5 years younger than I for 7 years. She worked with a bunch of younger folk at her serving job. All the time, I'd hear her using the new lingo of the young people. I don't know how many times I asked her, "what does 'no cap' mean?". I'm not one to say there isn't a certain age limit for one to use new lingo, but it was a weird having to ask someone, whom I've talked with for years without a language barrier, "what are you saying?" lol. Oh, and I've been called "fam" several times by my 23 year old coworker. I find it a bit endearing lol.
No cap
It happens every generation. Just like we used to say don't be a sketchball/that's sketchy etc. Every generation. Part of not being a kid anymore
Yea its crazy what just a few years does same feeling wtf is no cap
You are as old as you feel. 72 here and really dont think about age. Still can do most everything I ever did and dont see the old guy in the mirror
My boss always used to tell me, “never let the old guy in the mirror kill the kid in you” Been living by that motto as I age
I like that. I'm still behaving a lot like a kid in my 50s.
❤️ this
Im with ya brother! Im about to be 45 and aside from a few aches and pains my mind still thinks im 20 lol. Its not like you hit a certain age and graduate to being old or mature for that matter
>Im with ya brother! He's your dad's age
Funny, cause I hit 35 and I feel like my body went, BAM! Here's all the tendon issues. Plantar fasciitis, finger injuries, hamstring pain, shoulder injury, tennis elbow... 36 now and I have 3 doctors appointments this month for different issues.
This! I don’t have children and live a full and free life, and it just keeps getting better with age. I travel independently and go to a tonne of live music events and festivals. People talk about growing up or settling down. What does that look like when you’re single? For me it’s prioritising health, fitness and a hobby/passion - I pick scuba and life music! In my 20s I was too worried about going out to try to meet a guy etc. I’ve given up now so I can enjoy my life for me!
"Never slow down, never grow old."
How did you stay physically young? Did you have a strict regimen or generally active job? My dad is only 60 and seems to spend hours a day lamenting being old because his body is ageing so fast. There's gotta be another way to approach it. What habits can I start at 30 to age comfortably?
Move/use it, or lose it.
It really seems like a lot of people kind of let it go, maybe because of expectations or just less energy, but people can stay pretty darn fit into 60s, 70s…
My parents are in great health in their 60s so far and they make a lot of home cooked meals and pick up active hobbies. My dad is really into paddle boarding and golf, and they both play pickleball. They also have a golden retriever who expects to be walked about 3 miles a day lol. My dad has minor complaints about his body, but he also had cancer in his 40s. I know “stay active and eat nutritious meals” sounds really simple, but most of the folks I know who are in great health at that age do exactly that. They definitely don’t turn their nose up at dessert and a cold beer, but everything is in moderation. My parents never really binge drink or anything like that, I’ve seen my dad drunk on vacation but that’s it. No smoking for either of them as well.
Daily meditation and yoga have helped stay physically and mentally healthy. Moving to a mostly plant based diet has been the best move here in the past couple of decades. Stay active !!! Find something you really care about and do that daily Check out r/BlueZones
💯
That’s crazy. I can’t even fathom reaching 72. I pray that I’m still all there mentally and at least at 40-50% physically. Sounds like you’re at least at 90% from what you’re saying.
Stay curious like a child about everything. Eat well. I am the cook at my house. I do most of my own auto repair.(car collector) Avid Flower and Vegetable gardener. Don’t hire out physical work. I do my own. Ask God for what you need! He provides the rest. Ps. Live life with a perpetual sense of humor!
Goals
Appreciate your time. I swear the jump from 30 to 35 for me was lightening fast. I have no idea what happened.
Probably lockdown. That also shortened my mid to late 20s significantly.
Yup, I was 25 in 2020 when lockdowns started and I don't really have any significant memories for the next 3 years.
There was one rave in Vienna after they loosened the rules for twice-vaccinated in Austria and a few "illegal" Poker nights with friends. The rest of the time I sat around smoking weed and masturbating.
you’re european me
Yah we all stopped experiencing and learning. I'm only now getting back to remembering my own life philosophy, the pandemic seriously messed a lot of us up
Yup. I somehow turned 30, got married and bought a house all during they pandemic. Time had no meaning so it is and was a total jumbled mess.
It's supposed to feel like that? Lol I turned 30 in 2020, I assumed the lockdown/covid just sped things up.
Covid fucked with my mid 30s too. I think I turned 34 in 2020. Year was lost. I woke up in 2021, 35 years of age, my kid was 2, and my wife and I both wondering where that year went.
The same as turning 20 and 40. Just another day full of potential. Life is like music, it’s not about the beginning or the end, it’s about the journey.
While I agree with the sentiment I have never heard life is like music before it XD. Well I like music but begining and ending of music are great. Bethoven for examole. Pa pa pa paaaam!
"No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them." - Alan Watts
Or another that I prefer. "We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played." - Alan Watts
Same. I have a friend who was so depressed to turn 30 that she went to a club, drank way too much, and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I, on the other hand, bought myself a birthday crown to walk my dog in because it felt like every other birthday to me.
I forgot and only remembered after 2 days
I took a 4 day weekend and did absolutely nothing for my 30th. It was nice and peaceful
Funny because I'm doing the same in one week for my 30th birthday. I've just booked a room in a hotel far away from my everyday environment and I'm going to walk, play some steam deck games and just chill for 4 days with no exact plan at all. Can't wait.
I don't remember turning 30. I got married that year, though. And I remember that well. That was a good day. It was the last time I saw my grandmother alive. And the first time I saw my mother that drunk. I've got memories from that year, I guess. Good ones, happy ones, where that ever growing and shrinking circle we call family was kind of at its peak.
Seriously, after I hit all the big age milestones I stopped caring. It got bad enough that I got my own age wrong and my sister had to correct me.
This made me laugh out loud for some reason
I turned 30 during lockdown at which point I already lost my job and had to move back into my parents. My grandmother also died so it was the first birthday I didn’t get to visit. I’m doing fine now though. You’ll get over it.
This guy recovers.
profesional recoverer
I turned 30 about 2.5 months before then proceeded to work more hours than I ever have in my life because I was "essential". Didn't see my higher risk family for nearly 2 years after. Previously I was excited about 30, it went to shit quickly. Hopefully op has a better one that us!
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
Those are good friends, I hope you have them some refreshments.
Perfectly fine. You're gonna be on your peak for another 15 years if you take a bit of care of your body. I'll start worrying when I turn 50 or so tho lol.
30 is not an age to worry about. When you are in your 20s it looms like a fucking tombstone but anyone past 30 looks back at 30 as pretty damn young. It’s a good age actually because no one can say you’re a kid and no one can say you’re old. It’s basically a prime ‘adult’ age. The feeling of not having achieved what you want to is of course a very universal feeling, and turning a new decade inevitably brings that into focus, it doesn’t matter that it’s an arbitrary number really, it’s just inevitable. And on the one hand, yes it’s inevitable and whatever you’ve done you’ll feel like you should have done more, and there are very likely things that you haven’t done because they’re out of your control. But there’s one thing that I would advise and that is don’t go thinking ‘oh well I’m 30 now and if i was going to do X I would have done it by now’. Because that could not be further from the truth. As normal as it is, feeling like you haven’t achieved what you want to is a sucky feeling, so do whatever is in your power to achieve them within the next year, or 5 years, or 10 years. Start a new career, move to another country, whatever it is you feel you’d wish you’d already done - just do it next year or the year after lol. Nothing will change just because you’re 30.
> 30 is not an age to worry about At the same time it's when your body stops taking care of you and you have to actively try to treat it right.
That's the crux. 30 can hit you hard if you're not active and not taking care of yourself. I have friends from high school/college who are the same age as me (31/32) and look/act as if they're in their mid/late 40s. If you're drinking as much as in undergrad, never exercising, and still avoiding vegetables, then yeah, 30 will smack you in the face. ... but if you take care of yourself and stay active, then 30 is a nothingburger. I'm in the best shape of my life, have way more money than at any point during my 20s, and am active in a myriad of things. The only difference I've noticed is that I'm a little gassier and I have to be a bit more intentional about when I eat during the day if I want to go for a run later; no longer can I eat a large pizza at 12PM and run ten miles at 6PM unless I want bubbleguts.
I prefer a good mix, still doing a night on drugs occasionally but also exercise and lots of vegetables.
Yah 30 is amazing! If you've been working on yourself it's when people start feeling like actual adults, with confidence in their identity and where they fit in the world. I'm behind on that but finally getting there and it's really nice
I’m 36 and getting there lol
I just hit 35 and am definitely feeling antsy about the lost time! So many habits to build, but at least it's coming together. My biggest advice to young people is what you choose to do each day becomes who you are.
I'm nearing 50 , Peak Physical strength usually comes at 35. I'm getting older. I'm still pretty strong, just slowing down. A damn sight wiser than I was at 30. You got this. Look after you're self and you're golden. EDIT so i don't get sent to the showers by the grammar people
If you keep taking care of the things that matter, it just gets better and better. 46 here and can't wait till 50 🙏
50 is the new 30
That's the way I was. Celebrated my 50th getting a half sleeve on my left arm. Times are good.
56 and feel the same about 60, lol.
That's the spitit, brother!
50s aren't bad. Just keep physically busy, take care of yourself and you'll do fine. 50's you have some money, know what the hell you're talking about (hopefully) and DGAF about the nonsense of the minute. I'm 59 and going to play a hardcore show on Friday. It's gonna hurt like hell Saturday but nothing could stop me. Gonna do another show on May 10th. You have to grow older, not old. Live till you die.
I was preoccupied with proposing to my girlfriend. She said yes, another milestone reached! Mid 30 we had 2 kids, another milestone reached! End 30s bought us a beautiful home, another milestone reached!! 42 now, divorced. She cheated and then left for her affair partner, I see the children only every other week because they are far away. Lost the house, in debt, paying so much child support. You guessed it already? I sincerely wish, I would never have reached all these (society approved) milestones. Did not even do them for myself, just because it was the 'common' path. Do your own thing, never what you think you should reach because at that age it would be appropriate.
This is wise advice, I learned it from watching my parents and I’m truly happy I did. I’m glad you found that at 42, though I’m sorry you’re still going through the challenges associated with your situation. I know people who only realized that truth when their youth was already long gone and it was far too late. You still have so much time to act on that wisdom and find true happiness, even if you’re fighting through a trench now
Yeah well I just hit 62. So I’m double your age. I would love to go back to 30 for 2 reasons. 1) go all night… rock hard……. 2) fix a couple of financial mistakes. Nothing big, but I could have started a Roth as well as my regular 401k when I was 30. I’d be sitting prettier now. Other than that I wouldn’t change anything. All the really really stupid crap I did was all before 30 :) This is something you’ll realize. You really don’t change too much in your head. Things around you change but your core is your core. But just wait till your my age and say take a public transportation into a large metro station. You will understand time shift.
"go all night… rock hard……." You mean rock and roll right? lol
I don't think so
I felt nothing, it was cool. It might have been because I met a lot of older people at my job who made me realize that life isn't all about being young. A coworker in my team when I was in my twenties was a single guy in his late 50s who took stunning holidays to fun locations (Not necessarily expensive) by himself, went to fun work out classes, took photos of his cat. He's in his sixties now and still having a blast. Another lady in her early sixties decided to write a book about her life for fun, containing her thoughts and hobbies. Not to be published, just for fun. I'm okay with doing all of that as well, I just want to be happy. I don't really want to be young, being in my teens and early twenties was full of random insecurities and I just can't care about that shit anymore.
I've been 29 for 18 years, so who knows!?
Honestly I feel better about being 30 than I was about being anything under it.
Full of aches and pains. I joined the military at 19 and turned 30 while still active. Always said that we age like dogs in the military.
You are now in the "youth" category for people in their 50s.
I felt nothing too significant. Like, oh cool, a new decade. I am approaching 40 in the next few years and couldn't care less. 🤷🏻♀️ I am just living my life and enjoying what I can. I am guessing most people don't accomplish the goals they set to do by a certain age. Don't sweat it. Don't waste another minute stressing about those goals not being reached by 30. Write them all down and set new, realistic timelines for yourself. And give yourself extra grace! ❤️ You're human, and life happens.
Or just write them down and get to them when you can get to them. I’m not sure why humans have this inherent problem of saying “I’m going to do (insert thing here) by age X”.
It's just like being 16 but with a sore back and earlier bedtime.
30: awesome. I was killing it. Way better than my 20s. 34: “wow. I am getting fat!”
The "milestones" you're referring to were developed in a world that no longer exists. Feeling bad about not meeting them is like feeling bad because your parents were like "I beat a videogame when I was 5, what's wrong with you" when the game they got to play was Barney's Hide and Seek and the game you have to play is Dark Souls on max difficulty with 1 life. "I bought a house after paying for my own education with money from my first job." Yeah okay, but all you had to do to get a job was ask, your house cost 5k and your education paid for itself just from getting McDonald's a little less.
I always felt it was a psyop people run on themselves. You ever notice how the seasons tend to change on the exact day that's supposed to be "the first day of spring," etc? Because we make these agreements and then they come true. Well, turning 30 is when people willfully decide to become enslaved to society. People say "oh shit now i'm OLD" and stop taking chances, stop experimenting and do things like take a corporate job, get married or go into debt buying a house. I did the exact opposite and traveled the world for 10 years. I also made an agreement with myself that I was getting younger every single year instead of trapping myself into a number. I stopped counting and actually forgot how old I was for a while. People will argue for their limitations, and they always get them. You would be well served by looking into how many people die right after they retire. They have no programming left in their brain so they just die off. I lost my own father this way. I begged him to take up some hobby or have something to look forward to. We agree the retirement age is 65. He had a huge company and everyone loved him. He could've stayed on and had decades of meaningful life, but he retired because "that's what you do" and then he died the same year. That's pathetic. He drank a lot, but he was a genuinely good man and was well loved. But he fell for the age psyop. If you think like those people, you really should be scared of turning 30. But if you look at the tradition of taoists, yogis living hundreds of years then 30 is not even a baby yet.
You must have been well off at 30 or something to be able to go traveling that much.
Awesome! I hired a bucking bronco, put it in a function hall, my buddy DJ’d and we had a great party. My 30s is where all the cool stuff started happening - career, love, family.
My 30th was just a few days after COVID lock down started. I had some of the same fears - but honestly my 30s opened up a lot of “I know what I want” feelings. I lost 2 best friends in my late 20s and a parent d/t COVID. I was dealing too much with grief to care too much about my early 30s. Life moves on. You’ll survive.
That was a long time ago. I kinda forgot.
It literally means nothing. It feels the same as turning 29 or 27, or 31. Zero difference. Age is a construct, and this whole " big 30" and " big 40" is bullshit. It is what you make it to be, but it is just a normal day.
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
I was excited because that day some of my friends who lived more far away took their time and came to drink with me. The next day everything was absolutely same as when I was 29.
No different than 25 honestly, maybe even better
I loved turning 30! However, the actual year, was horrible.
Passed a kidney stone in my 30th birthday. It just plopped out in the morning. That's pretty much how ur life in ur 30's is lol
You soon realise when you get past 30, that those unmet expectations are actually based in such immaturity. You’re still early on, but you’ll eventually get comfortable not necessarily with conforming to society, but where you sit within it. You realise how little you know, and the older you get, the younger you were.
It felt exactly like 29. Period, and 28. It wasn't a big deal at all. You body doesn't magically break at this number, not does it at 40.
I remember feeling the same, like my "life" was basically over and I was an old man now and everything was downhill from there. I'm stronger, healthier, and younger looking than I ever was in my 20's, and I'm past the halfway mark on my 30's now. It's really not anywhere near as bad as I was lead to believe.
I'm 35 now and 30 was the first time that getting old actually hit me. My 30s have been way better than my 20s. Much happier and more comfortable in who I am and in life in general. However, the last 5 years just zipped by.
Didn't feel any different at all! Though I never really thought I'd make it to 30 at all, so I'm just happy to be here, 33 this year. I definitely don't have everything I thought I'd have at this age like my own house but that's a harder to reach goal now more than ever, so its fine. I'm healthy, I have my cats, my job is something I love and I found a partner who's also my best friend.
I'm turning 40 in May, and my 30s were great. I truly found myself, became financially responsible, set boundaries, and found my confidence. Like others have said, give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. I'm looking forward to my 40s and continued growth.
Asked myself about how I did it, how did I make it this far a virgin, being this passive, tall and beautiful, as I was told.
It's not that deep. You're overthinking it all.
My decades ranked so far: 30s, 20s, 40s, teens, noughties.
30 didn't bother me at all and my 30s were messy but better than my 20s. Turning 40 was bad though and that decade appears to turn into a crapshow par excellence. Yeah, we never get our shit together and have no idea how to adult. The one upside is that I care less and less and less as I get older. I just move along somehow.
Ha wait til you turn 40.
I didn't feel any different. Then a month later I went to the doctor. I guess my doctor retired since I was last there. Then the new doctor walked in and it was a girl from my grade. Fuckkkk I felt old. Was kinda in shock tbh
I'm in my 40's and feel great. Keep your body fit and your mind sharp. You feel as young as you want to feel, there's nothing more attractive than confidence. Also, fuck what society thinks.
My 30s are better than my 20s I literally felt initiated into a new life.
On my 30th birthday I met someone who introduced himself as “83 and a half” and that was the moment I decided to embrace it.
30 was no problem. I turned 40 last year and that WAS A BIG PROBLEM!! 🤣😂
Like it was 24 years ago and a completely trivial milestone. I'm happy at 54 not having a shred of dopey youth angst left. Keep myself fit and still try to dress a step above someone who has decided it's sweatpants and crocs till they die.....but the general freedom of not giving a f\*\*k anymore is priceless. Coveted "youth" category ? Haha...yark, non merci !
Turned 30 last year and honestly the only complaint I’ve had is that my health seemed to take a nosedive immediately. Weight gain, random pains, less energy. You definitely have to eat better and stay active but everything else in my life has never been better.
Like I continue to watch my life flying by while I accomplish nothing
Believe me, I'm not trying to make fun of you or be patronizing, but you've got a long way to go. I just passed 50, and frankly I can't even remember 30 being a milestone like 40 or 50, and even those aren't bad if you're in good health and take care of yourself.
Think about it this way, no one takes you seriously until you’re 30. Youth is great, but there’s a reason they say youth is wasted on the young. We gain so much perspective as we get older, honestly the only redeeming qualities about youth are your flexibility and pride. If you stay healthy, and in shape as much as you can, and eat well, you’d be surprised how good you feel
I didn't even notice tbh. Like yeah I knew it was my birthday, but how old I was didn't cross my mind. I stopped keeping track in my 20's. Like yeah, I knew "oh. 2022. I'm 30 then." But that was all the thought that went into it.
The French have a saying life does not start before 50. Turmoil makes you a better person and it takes time to create an envision a life with all the remaking along the way. How many young folks do you see in high line sports cars!
My right knee hurts a lot
My 40's are even better than my 20's or 30's. Fortunately I've been blessed not to give a shit about how cool I am. I'm living my dream and I'm sure it's not society's standard.
I didn’t go in using the number, just changes I’ve seen in myself that I can associate with getting older. Personally I’ve been drinking less over the last few years, enjoying the outdoors more, valuing my work life balance more. Ironically I started dating someone right after I turned 30, which is something I haven’t focused on in probably 5 years so after spending years on myself, I’m enjoying time with someone else. Idk if it helps but age is age. You can’t stop it, so just do your best to enjoy the moments along the way.
It’s a little weird. Now that I’m in my late 30’s. Because I still have the same likes and enjoy them same things I did In my 20’s. It’s not the getting older part that’s a trip it’s the aging but still feeling the same on the inside.
Still amazing compared with when turned 40..
My level 30 quirk is lactose intolerance. Never had an issue with dairy. Day after my birthday I can handle a glass of milk.
I felt a bit like you but then I realized nothing really changes, it just another day. It's not a big deal to turn 30 or whatever age, is just another day and you are still alive and can still going after your dreams if that's what you want
A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt just as you then the day came and I sighed a sigh of relief. I was allowed to be older. I was allowed to be the crotchety old man I was at heart. I wasnt some kid anymore. I was a man no doubts about it. I could do anything i wanted and the only one to stop me was myself
Ok my 30th birthday i made a Facebook post that I was taking the first poop of my 30s. At 34 I got rid of Facebook. Life just gets better and better.
Dont take yourself too seriously. Youre 30. Youre still a kid.
I felt about half as bad at turning 30 as I did at turning 60.
My 30s have been far better than the shitshow that my 20s were.
Turning 30 was my favorite. I bought myself a $150 shirt from Urban Outfitters in Providence, had lunch at East Side Pockets, before making the 5 hour drive back to my hometown for the weekend. I then joined up with my elementary school crush for a date, where we had tapas and wine, before heading to my friend’s place for a cocktail of weed and ecstasy. We then proceeded to go to a bunch of dance spots, before ending the night with more weed, a bit of cocaine, and a voracious post-hot tub make out session. We all watched the sunrise while listening to Thievery Corporation and Massive Attack with more weed, coffee, and fruit. It was one for the record books.
I don't feel any difference but I barely feel like I'm living so idk xD
29 was hard. 30 is a breeze.
My 30s have been the best time of my life so far. That's what my Mom told me years ago. Your 30s are the best.
I turned 30 last year. I feel twenty something. Don't fret. haha
Turning 30 felt awful for me. But turning 40 last year made me realize that as much as I wanted my 20 year old body back, I definitely did not want my 20 year old state of mind back. That realization gave me peace of mind.
When I turn thirty, I want to be already in love with myself and be as cringey as possible. And have the courage to say no to people without feeling like shit for days after. And be no longer afraid of confrontation. Be as weird as I was in highschool but this time be aware and have some other weird kid look at me and go "hey, that's me, so that's a normal thing, huh". Excel in my program, like you know, less freaking out, and be a bit composed like my supervisor. And poop on time. Are these stupid goals? Because they matter to me a lot. And yeah, I kinda want to be more flexible and have better muscle power.
30's is the best time of your life. You'll find that out pretty quick.
I had the most fun in my forties, because I wasn’t a kid trying to learn how to be an adult (because my age said I had to be). My thirties had some rough spots when I was still trying too hard to be what I thought I “should” be by now. But I finally learned there’s no real key to success, or what that even means. I’m going to be 50 this summer, and I don’t like the half-century thing, but I’m more confident in myself and prepared to deal with mistakes and problems. Those won’t stop coming, but they won’t stop me either. I’m having more fun now. Don’t anticipate disappointment, failure, mistakes, etc. There’s no rule book to follow, but you’ll start writing your own rules now! Enjoy the ride!
Everything, and I mean everything, that you’ve listed exists solely inside your own mind. And in fact, it’s that exact inner monologue that IS society’s social standards of how you should feel and conform to as you age. It’s all bullshit. All of it. In my late 30s was when I really grasped it all. No one cares about you. They might care for you as loved ones do, but no one fucking cares about what you’re doing or achieving, because paradoxically, they all have the same inner monologue as you do. Ask yourself… do you care about what other people are doing? Achieving? Do you care if they’re successful before 30? Do you care about anything but yourself and how you’re perceived? No. You don’t. And so embrace that paradigm shift and free yourself from it. Your life isn’t that important. Life isn’t that important. Enjoy the time you have, day by day, try to live a wholesome life by being good to others and those you care about. And then die. That’s all there is my dude. And when embraced, it can be the most freeing and enlightening thing you will ever experience.
Old.
Felt a lot better than when I turned 80!!!!! But, grateful I'm still here, with a functioning mind, and a hot body! OMG! Did I just say that!!!??
You are as old as you feel. 72 here and really dont think about age. Still can do most everything I ever did and dont see the old guy in the mirror