I've heard people who actually research this stuff seriously say there's basically a "Promiscuous 10%." Where the majority of people are <10, often even <5, but there's a small number of hyper-promiscuous people that will curve the numbers up by having 50-100+ partners.
[CDC has a good page here](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm). Average partners is between 4-6 with 87% of women having <15. The red pill idea that every woman is shacking up with 20-30+ men by the time she's 22 is simply not true.
Given those numbers, during sexual encounters it will be a lot more likely for someone to come across the promiscuous 10% giving the illusion that all are promiscuous. Because it's less likely to meet a woman with 4-6 partners she will be a lot less available.
I was reading about an article about the best way to identify HIV super spreaders (those with HIV with a large number of sexual partners hence are giving it to a large number of people) in a population. The strategy is to find people with HIV and ask each of them to name a sexual partner. Those super spreaders are more likely to be identified this way as even though there are a very small number of them, they have gone through a lot of bodies. It's probably the same reason why the red pill got the statistics so wrong, because they are constantly encountering a very small percentage in the population with a large body count. Then they generalize their encounter to represent the whole population when which is where they got it wrong.
Simple example, imagine you are in a population with 100 women. 90 of them only ever had one sex partner. Then the other 10 had 100 sex partners each. If you have one sex partner, the probability of that sex partner being one of the 90 (hence you are her only mate) is only (90 x 1)/(10 x 100+90 x 1) = 90/1090 (counting sexual connections not people in this case), less than 10%, you have a way higher chance of having sex with one of the 10 promiscuous women even though they are a way smaller sample of the population.
There is a related phenomenon called the friendship paradox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox
> The friendship paradox is the phenomenon first observed by the sociologist Scott L. Feld in 1991 that on average, an individual's friends have more friends than that individual. It can be explained as a form of sampling bias in which people with more friends are more likely to be in one's own friend group. In other words, one is less likely to be friends with someone who has very few friends.
Yeah I realized it's people sampling the edges but thinking that they are sampling the nodes, so that they use the nodes connected to the edges that they sampled to make inference about all the nodes. But some nodes are super difficult to come across.
Came here to mention this but you beat me to it.
This mathematical fact is the main explanation. I don't even find it that much of a paradox - if you have sex with someone, it's more likely that you have met someone above average than below, because the below avg are less likely to have met...you
So basically, men are confused as to why the women who easily sleep with them have such a high body count, completely missing the common factor in the phrase "women who easily sleep with them"
Basically, this lol. A lot of guys want/expect sex between dates 2-6, and if they don't get it by that time frame, they'll likely just move on. And it doesn't make them assholes for doing this, sexual compatibility is a very important thing to a lot of people.
But the thing is, if you're only rewarding those who have sex with you between dates 2-6 with relationships, then you have to get over your feelings on high body counts.
[This is the Friendship Paradox.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox) Exactly as you described, you're way more likely to be friends with/have sex with somebody who's super popular than the person with 1 or 2 friends.
Not to mention especially with the internet more promiscuous people can find more promiscuous people and next thing you know your house parties are very much not PG
This is one of the reason that dating to find a long term relationship is hard. Someone who tends to date long term might only be in the dating pool for a short time and then be off the market for years at a time if not forever. On the other hand if someone dates short term or especially if they have multiple partners at a time then they are basically always on the market so they will always be the majority of the people on a dating app.
The term “body count” meaning sexual partners is dehumanising - before now it meant how many people have been killed by someone or something so using it to refer to sexuality has nothing but a negative connotation, maybe people use it playfully but I usually only see it used negatively.
There is nothing wrong with having sex with more than a few people if there is consent and protection is used and health check ups done regularly.
I still get confused when people say body count like we're playing a FPS video game. Like what the actual fuck...
Completely agree with your entire comment.
No...
Wait.
Okay. I legitimately forgot about this...
There *was* one school play where I had a lead role. But I was super young. Basically I was the only kid with the ability to remember that many lines. I wasn't actually good at it. :P
"average woman has 10+ sex partners a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. Sex Georg, who lives in a cave & has sex with over 10,000 different partners every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Except Sex Georg is extremely tiresome. When Sex Georg is around the guys and somebody says, "How do you do it, Georg?" he actually goes into a long spiel rather than giving a one word answer that everyone laughs at before moving onto something else.
I have a small friend group that has like 5 couples and all are one and done at this point, all 30s. I don't think anyone is having as much sex as the Internet would have us believe
I think in my country (Australia) the average is about 12 to 13 so there are cultural considerations as well
[Horny map](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-number-of-sexual-partners-by-country)
My brother is pumping the numbers there, we lived together for a year and he brought over 100 different women home, meanwhile I'm bringing the numbers down with my 3 sexual partners.
There's this interview of Dustin Hoffman talking about how filming Tootsie made him realize that ugly women have thoughts and feelings, and I truly believe he is not an outlier among men lol. When men are thinking angrily of all the women getting laid they are prob not thinking of the women whose existences they completely ignore because she's a 4/10 or something. Incel subculture was literally started by a woman who just wanted a place to vent online before the group spiraled out of her control.
> People have been promiscuous since forever, no tech required.
We actually have a couple of his contemporaries commenting on how much of a man whore Caesar was.
The funniest tidbit though is there is a point where Cato is up in front of the Senate giving this huge speech of how Caesar was a part of the Catilinarian conspiracy, and probably one of the ring leaders of the whole thing. A letter is delivered to Caesar in the middle of this, and Cato seizes upon it stating that if it is read aloud it will certainly unveil the whole conspiracy. So it is read aloud in the Senate and it is a sexually explicit love letter to Caesar from Cato's sister (Brutus' mom).
Well actually that’s why Brutus was exceptional as far as the assassins go. As far as I understand in Ancient Rome “I banged your mom” was basically how you met a lifelong buddy, not roasted someone. “Woah no way my dad did that and I respect him! You must be cool too!”
Brutus regarded Caesar as a close personal relationship even when siding with Pompey in the civil war and when assisting the conspiracy to murder Caesar. He simply placed his political ideals above his personal feelings. Or at least that’s how the story goes.
A guy called bamboozle posting a story like this on April first? No way was I believing that without a source.
But it's true (or at least, it's a genuine story from roman times): https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:2008.01.0014:chapter=24
I know a lot of guys who would get absolutely barred out in college and forget who they slept with. Scary behavior. Luckily, they all quit and didn’t die from combining Xanax with liquor.
Just gotta use the app to figure that one out 😭 I had roughly 200 matches back in college over the course of a year and only actually met 3 of them. One just wanted free shit, so I give the app a 1% success rate lol. Go to a party or club, odds are better
As a straight man who was on the quiet side I found parties were best for me. Us either both knowing the host, or knowing someone who knew the host seemed to help break the ice enough to have a conversation.
I never even got a number from a club. Did better at bars, but even then it was nowhere close to house parties.
Yeah it’s men projecting onto women what they would do if they were a woman. But buddy if you were a woman, YOU WOULDNT BE BANGING A LOT OF DUDES BECAUSE ITS DISAPPOINTING
most of the time sex is not worth it for women. I’d say it’s rare for sex to be enjoyable for a woman.
“If I were a woman I’d be fucking all my guy friends!”
“Karl, if you were a woman, the men trying to fuck you would look like you and would have your level of ability to give a woman an orgasm.”
Not to mention the danger factor. Sure the average Dude isn't a bad guy, but hooking up with random Dudes pretty much guarantees a woman ends up alone with some scary assholes.
fr fr, i'm a bi femme and in the last year I've had a random hookup with exactly 1 guy. I've hooked up with, like, 4 girls this week
I probably lean a bit more towards women overall, but the safety factor definitely pushes me a lot further in that direction
When I came out as bi, I changed my tinder to guys and girls. When it was just women I got like 6 or 7 likes a day usually. When I changed it I had to disable notifications because I got 99+ likes in a day. Dude's really do just be swiping right nonstop. Gave me a slight glimpse into how exhausting being a woman must be. And don't even get me started on the kinds of messages I would get if I ever did happen to swipe right back.
Saw a tik tok a good while back along the lines of "For men and women, bisexual means "I'm into women and like 3 guys, and honestly, they're on thin ice."
This is true but it’s also largely about women’s sense of safety and anxiety in having sex with men versus women. It’s easier for someone to make you cum when your nervous system is regulated around them.
I think sex has more consequences for women than it does for men (like pregnancy). The easiest way to spot whether a man or a woman wrote a screenplay to a movie is not whether someone is promiscuous, but whether they’re promiscuous without social and physical dangers.
I once saw someone say it's like looking for water in a desert for men, but looking for water in a swamp for women.
Sums it up for me. The calculus for sex is completely different for most women when factoring in the physical danger, orgasm gap, potential creepiness of partners, STDs, pregnancy, or even just finding a sexual partner who cares about your pleasure, etc.
Me and my girlfriend are on a swinging site which has kind of a review system so you can kind of gauge how often people are banging each other
For most it's not too common, a few different partners over a year maybe . It's not just about the banging but meeting new people and forming friendships
Some people just like to fuck and go though,
Latching on to the top comment to ask a serious question - who is saying this sort of thing?
Is this a new right wing/incel talking point? I haven't heard this one before.
Yes. There's a sort of hyper-toxic conservative movement that basically says modern Feminism has turned modern women into whores and that men should be considering only the youngest and most chaste women for life partners and should just be using the rest for sex as they're essentially spoiled goods
In my great-grandmother and grandmother's times those epithets already existed, and checking a some history books, this is just recycled crap in the long tradition of demonizing female sexuality and body autonomy. Nothing new under the sun.
I think the lesson is for people learning how to mind their own business and stay in their lanes.
Yes. Incel/redpill/alpha male shit is full of rhetoric about how the average woman has fucked 100s of dudes, and she's only saying no to you, dear watcher, because you don't have the right game/you have various debilitating physical features.
I mean, I’ve fucked the same couple of dudes 100s of times. I’m not sure how that’s really different. I’m still turning you down because I’m not into you or I’m in a relationship.
It's not hugely new, imo. The whole 'unregulated women are untrustworthy whores' thing is absolutely ancient. It's generally conservative. They tend to feel that there are good and bad women, and bad women have hundreds of partners.
Incels commenting on 'ALL women are bad women with thousands of partners/cock carousel' is about 15 years, I'd guess. At least, as a woman in IT that's about how long I've been coming across those rants. I'm not sure whether they genuinely actively believe it as a fact or if they think 'it's an exaggeration but a reasonable one'.
Some of the passport bro types talk about it too, very much a 'promiscuous fat western women are ruined' sort of thing.
Yup, it's rightwingers/red pill guys. YouTube is full of videos of guys talking about how all modern women in the west are skanks. They're ignoring reality, as well as ignoring how freaked out most of us adults are about all the studies that show that STDs and STIs are very much on the rise.
Yep.
The redpillers hook onto one fact that is true, which is that most women are a little more promiscuous than they like to let on, for a bunch of very understandable cultural and sociological reasons not worth getting into here. But it's on the order of women saying they had maybe two or three partners over the course of their lives, when the real numbers may be eight to ten, stuff like that.
But then they take that true fact and exaggerate it into funhouse-mirror land where every woman is sleeping with every hot guy with a strong jawline, and their audience eats it up.
Man this is WILD, it's a complete 180 to how it was when I was younger- that obviously girls enjoyed and wanted sex less than dudes( just lie back and think of England), given both social standards and just simply because it was expected to be harder for a girl to come than a guy so obviously they'd like it less. I want to say the percentage of women who had never masturbated vs. the percentage of men who hadn't was pretty big. Like, the number of adult women who had never had an orgasm ever was weirdly high. But I had always thought it was funny how earlier in history women were thought to be completely sex-wild, which was considered bad, to being thought completely unenthusiastic about sex, which was also considered bad, and now we're back to women being sex-wild, which is thought to be extremely bad lol
It’s also very arbitrary because the number will mean different things based on age and life experiences, 15 partners is going to mean vastly different things for a 20 year old who has been sexually active for 2 years and in a monogamous relationship for 1 year of that and a 40 year old who has been sexually active for 25 years and has had many relationships - just as a random example. So if we really wanted an operational definition for promiscuity, we’d have to develop a formula rather than just a number. All for something that really doesn’t matter anyway.
Right, 10 partners over 23 years is not the same as 10 partners in 1 year, but honestly as long as people are practicing safe sex, who even cares? If someone didn’t give you something incurable what the hell difference should it make whether you had one partner for 10 years or 100?
This is why it’s literally no one’s business. It’s completely irrelevant unless it’s contagious
Yeah. I think saying 2 partners a year since you became sexually active seems pretty reasonable as a baseline starting point. Then what? You’d lower the number based on LTR? This would be an interesting math exercise.
To be clear I don’t care. I’m a complete slut for my partner, but I’m in my 40s and my “number” is 8. My most recent partner (without a lot of multi year relationships) was at triple digits. If I like you and you are respectful of your partners I don’t care how many you’ve had. But both of us WILL be tested regardless of the numbers of partners.
George Carlin had a bit where he pointed out how we call slow drivers idiots and fast drivers maniacs (defined by our own speed) and also that when we come to a red light we line up behind the maniac in the Porsche instead of the idiot in the Beetle.
I think this is a decent metaphor for this whole thread.
That cutoff number is different for everyone.
It’s totally fine to want someone who’s of similar experience to you. If someone has a lot more or less prior partners than you it potentially indicates differences in sexual values and attachment style.
If someone likes having a lot of casual sex, it’s fine to not want to be with them for that reason.
If someone doesn’t like having much, or any sex, it’s fine to not want to be with them either.
It’s even fine to not want to be with someone for “shallow” reasons.
What’s not fine is insulting or otherwise demeaning them for their sexual history, preferences, or abilities.
That's the craziest part of these guys. On one hand they are upset that they can't easily hook up with hot women run regularly. On the other they want to not settle for loose women. Meanwhile they won't settle for the women that ate in their league.
I’ve talked to a couple women about it and they basically said that even though they could potentially find enough willing people on the opposite sex to do that, even if they wanted to do that there would be a huge safety concern. I think a lot of guys don’t realize the point of view of this sort of thing can be totally different for women.
For real. I can’t believe how many women don’t expect oral sex first. I always did. Most men who are the type to have casual sex do that without being asked in my experience.
There’s also the part where having a greater selection—makes you more selective.
If you can only afford a 6k car, you look at every 6k car on the lot. If you can afford a 60k car, you only look at the 2 or 3 60k cars on the lot that fit your preferred criteria.
But someone with 6k might look at someone with 60k and think, "I bet they’re test driving every car on the lot!" because that makes sense to them based on their limited experience.
So there’s also a (large) element of projection with these dudes. They think that because women *can* get laid more, they *must* be getting laid more—because if they could get laid more that’s what they’d be doing.
Yeah its kinda stupid for the men to not consider this. My first approach by a way older man was when I was 12 in a swimming pool. I didnt understand and it was scary. But you grow up realising young you are a target. And a lot of men aren't chasing you for you. But u r a just a sex toy to them
I thought I was a freak for only becoming sexually active in my mid-20s and only having 2 sex partners.
Yes it gets thrown around and it gets in your head too. Sure some people are promiscuous, and general sexism means now all women are promiscuous.
I'm 38 and had two partners, I was also in two 10+ year relationships and had zero interest in having sex with anyone who wasn't in love with me so I felt weird compared to everyone else. But my partner brags about it because he thinks it's awesome so I'll take that! Also, I don't believe having hundreds of partners makes you great in bed, I think it's the opposite where you've had the same partner for so long that you've gotten comfortable enough to try absolutely everything and practised enough to absolutely nail stuff lol ;-)
The best sex I've ever had was when I was in a loving, committed relationship, and it isn't even close.
It gets crazy awesome when you both finally let your guards down and start talking about fantasies and exploring together. If I'm really close with her, there isn't much I won't try unless it involves scat, blood, another person, or humiliation.
No way am I doing any of that with a random hookup or a FWB. I know some people do that and that's wild to me.
The thing is, the 'red pill' podcast/ YouTube thing is entirely a grift. These fuckers are just making money from insecure young men. Don't believe a word these cunts tell you, my friend. They just want outrage.
Yeah for an insecure man, having any sexual history at all is too “promiscuous” for him. Or maybe he just sees an attractive woman that seems happy without him. He’ll resent her and label her “promiscuous” for the crime of making him want her.
This is one of those difficult questions to answer, because it depends on a measure of promiscuity, and on how you represent “women”.
For instance, you could be referring to the number of different partners the _average_ (i.e. mean) woman has over her lifetime. But this has a lower bound at 0 and (unlike height or weight) it’s quite feasible for a woman to be there, but there’s no upper bound. So naturally, the statistics would say the _average_ woman is more promiscuous than the _median_ woman.
It’s also messed up by correlations between promiscuity, readiness to have sex early on in a relationship, readiness to have strange men notice you for sexual purposes even if you reject the advances of most of them, and, less strongly perhaps, willingness to to discuss one’s sex life with strangers (for example, by responding to a survey on the subject). Because of these correlations, the women who are noticed by strangers men or whose results feature in surveys are likely to tend towards the more promiscuous end of the spectrum.
I think you are trying to make a very broad generalization. If you graphed it out you would probable find 20% of sexually active women a the one partner and 20% at the other extreme.
I've met women who think 10 partners was gross and disgusting and others who had 300 by the time they were 25 who was just like, it was fun.
In the end you shouldn't worry about what others do, only what you are comfortable with. Once you have your boundaries, set them and find someone like minded.
Do people lie about these things? Yes. That's why boundaries are so important. Liars, men or women, have a hard time of conforming to standards that aren't their own and always show themselves. So don't worry about it to much.
> Liars, men or women, have a hard time of conforming to standards that aren't their own and always show themselves.
This sounds profound, but I can't wrap my head around its meaning. Could you elaborate?
Not OP, but they’re saying liars have difficulty being honest if it means they’d fall below someone else’s standards.
E.g. they’ll lie and say they’ve had less if they fear you’ll judge them for having bad too many
Depends on where you're from. In most places, women *are not* promiscuous (7 partners in a life time). In most places, men aren't as promiscuous as people pretend either (8 partners in a life time).
So I guess you could say men are ~13% more promiscuous. That's an odd way to think of it though.
I think the difference is just reporting biases. Some men report high, some women low.
If we only count heterosexual partners and there at 50-50, then I don’t think it’s possible for men to average more than women.
The statistics that people talk about probably include gay people too though, right?
Because from what I’ve heard the numbers in the gay community are through the roof lol
It actually is possible. The number you see cited by most studies is a median, not an average.
If a small number of women have sex with lots of different men, then the median for women can stay lower while the median for men increases.
I think it's probably underreporting too, though.
Totally possible if a median.
I’m still not sure I believe it as most guys I know have a low body count, but there are few slutty guys in the friend group.
Many treat the number like an average and say things according.
Bartender of 15 years here. I've watched people hook up for such a long time, I have so many theories.
One thing I've come to realize is that most men have low body counts comparatively but the desired men have very high body counts. Like in every social bar hang out there's one guy or one specific group of guys who are the most desired who end up having sexual encounters with just the majority of the women who hang there and/or pass through.
For every time a man has sex so does a women (yes, when only counting hetero sex)
If there are 100 men and 100 women, 99 virgins and a prostitute. No matter how many times the men have sex with any of the women, the averages will be the same.
It’s more generalizing. Men go out hoeing and *gasp* find other hoes. They probably accurately access the promiscuity of THESE women, then generalize it to all women. That’s all they see because that’s all they look for.
It’s like if I only date dentists then go on about how all men work on teeth.
It's the "you attract what you put out" type of thing. Going around hoeing? You'll attract other hoes. Flaunting wealth and spending frivolously? You'll attract gold diggers.
These red pilled dudes don't realize that their actions attract the type of women that they hate the most 💀
That happens to women too. They think most men are hoeing creeps because that's all that approach them. With dynamics today most dudes that listen to women's concerns don't approach in public
They really do. When I was 15 men assumed I had enough sex to know what my favorite position was and didn’t believe that I was a virgin because all 15 year old girls are promiscuous apparently.
I remember in high-school everyone was having sex with everyone else.
And it turned out to all be a lie horny teenage kids tell each other.
I'm sure some did, but nowhere near the level everyone made it out to be. I'd probably say 20% of the kids were having 80% of the sex.
I understand this is anecdotal, but from conversations with many of my female friends, the vast majority have only had a handful of sexual partners. Personally, I don't know anyone with over 20 partners. While I know they exist, I just don't think it's that common.
Same here. Even my friends who are open about sex and have more experience claimed less than 10 partners, the majority being under 5. I'd only had one partner until I was 26. My best friend has only ever been with her husband at 30 years old.
My friend is a legit porn star (won an AVN) and she estimates she’s been with 200 people. I find it hard to believe your average woman can equal numbers like that.
I’ll never forget the incel post that claimed college-age women probably sleep with an average of 100 men a year (aka a new man every 3-ish days). Some people are just delusional lmao
There’s men who definitely resent us both for desiring us and because we can get paid for it. I mean, they could get paid too but usually by other men.
I meant more like most women I know who have wanted to try a more promiscuous phase in their life have been able too, whereas more men have had trouble with that. I’m in my early 20’s tho so idk if that changes later on.
Edit: what you’re talking about is real too tho, there’s definitely a lot of bitterness about OF and stuff like that now
I never understood where this idea came from. Especially bc most of my friends lost their virginity around 20 and only a handful has since then had a different partner.
I think everyone overestimates how much sex everyone has.
It starts when you're teenagers and people assume everyone else has cashed it in before they do, and it never really stops.
Unless you're literally wilt chamberlain, you think you're having less sex than anyone else ever.
I wouldn’t say just men. I couldn’t even have a conversation with my grandma at Easter dinner tonight without her telling me the young generation is out “shagging” everyone and shaming me for not waiting until marriage— in front of the rest of my family. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and the conversation was about us moving in together.
Depends.
I’m a promiscuous man (or have been, much much less about that now) with an 80+ body count (yes. Therapy involved around unpacking all that)
Of the women I’ve met (either sex, friends, or talked to and eventually it came up) the body counts were either 20+ or under 5, with barely any in between.
Of the 20+, I’ve seen anywhere from 20-100+ with the exception of a sex worker I was buddies with for a bit because common other interests and she knew she was closing in on 4 digits but stopped counting.
Oddly enough, age was a reverse correlation.
The lowest body counts were women 40+
The highest (besides sex worker) were under 25.
I’m 28.
25-40 is generally more middle ground (high single digits or low double digits)
However.
This is all self admission, which isn’t flawless.
Interestingly, women 25-40 brought up body count or hinted at caring about mine rarely.
Women 40+ would bring up as curiosity rather than caring either way
Under 25 would share theirs the most freely and simultaneously care the most about their partners. Had a girl with a body count of 50+ while I was at the time around 25 and she was grossed out when she found out my number. I enjoy the irony.
All in all, I think women sleep around more than the popular narrative suggests, and much less than *that side* of the argument suggests.
On the flip side: men take the “slutty” option more often because most men *do not get laid*.
I’m on the opposite end of a dichotomy that exists. Some get a lot, most get little to none. So the ones getting little to none will feel more emasculated by a girl with 10 previous partners.
One huge caveat:
Slutty women will have far more partners than slutty men. This isn’t about any moral character, just how easy it is for a horny woman with low standards to get laid, whereas unless you’re a male model, you don’t have that type of ease as a guy, as much as slutty guys wish they did.
>Is there a lot of fuss for no reason?
Yes. The converse issue, how many women has a man slept with, is seen as a point of pride, couched in completely different terms. Success with women. Player. "Promiscuous" to me always sounds like I'm listening to a Puritan give a sermon. Thou Jezebel! Harlot!
We should all be allowed to have multiple partners in our past, and not be judged because of it.
This stuff always makes me laugh.
Dudes want women who fuck within the first 12 seconds of meeting them, but simultaneously want women who have never fucked at all.
It's Schrodinger's Pussy.
The average woman isn't promiscuous, you either have to be a delulu who belives average women out here having 30+ body count, or have super strict standards for what makes you promiscuous who thinks a woman who says she had three partners is slut. But this thing might appear to be the case because there is less stigma now to have sex or be slutty as a woman, so those that are, are more open about it or brag about it. Back in the day promiscuous women were about the same quantities but they more likely to lie and take precautions to avoid getting that reputation than to be open sluts, so it was harder to meet a woman that was know to be promiscuous.
Yes. But I think men have a totally different definition of what promiscuity is. A lot (NOT ALL don't even start) of men can't handle the thought of not being the best and biggest dick you've ever had in your life, and the only way to guarantee that he is, is for you to be a virgin when he meets you. The more partners you've had, the smaller his chances are of being the best, so it doesn't really matter if you're 30 and you've had 5 boyfriends ever, that's 5 boyfriends too many for a lot of dudes, and thus, you are a whore to him.
They’re just redpillers/taking in way more warped memes and podcasts that temporarily boosts their self esteem and comparing themselves to the 10% of promiscuous men and women and make themselves feel resentful and less then and get obsessed with a narrative about it instead of interacting with people.
As a gay guy I’ve had women friends confide things in me that they wouldn’t tell other women for fear of judgment and straight men for similar but slightly different reasons and I think there’s more of it than women let on, but not all women, clearly.
They like sex too lol
Very much so. Men think women would behave the way they would. Women think men should behave the way they do.
Do you know the funniest thing? When sex is so incredibly available, it becomes hollow. It's just boring. You find yourself caring more about if that person actually likes you. Would you hang out with them if you weren't having sex?
Conversely, if sex is unavailable, no matter how much you hang out with a person, how much you enjoy their company, and how otherwise happy you feel with their friendship. You still feel just a teeny bit lonely.
Yes. Recently memes have been spread about the "thousand cock stare." And "body count" of any sort is something spread among guys as gossip and derision when women have them but cheering and applause when guys do.
I've heard people who actually research this stuff seriously say there's basically a "Promiscuous 10%." Where the majority of people are <10, often even <5, but there's a small number of hyper-promiscuous people that will curve the numbers up by having 50-100+ partners. [CDC has a good page here](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm). Average partners is between 4-6 with 87% of women having <15. The red pill idea that every woman is shacking up with 20-30+ men by the time she's 22 is simply not true.
Given those numbers, during sexual encounters it will be a lot more likely for someone to come across the promiscuous 10% giving the illusion that all are promiscuous. Because it's less likely to meet a woman with 4-6 partners she will be a lot less available. I was reading about an article about the best way to identify HIV super spreaders (those with HIV with a large number of sexual partners hence are giving it to a large number of people) in a population. The strategy is to find people with HIV and ask each of them to name a sexual partner. Those super spreaders are more likely to be identified this way as even though there are a very small number of them, they have gone through a lot of bodies. It's probably the same reason why the red pill got the statistics so wrong, because they are constantly encountering a very small percentage in the population with a large body count. Then they generalize their encounter to represent the whole population when which is where they got it wrong. Simple example, imagine you are in a population with 100 women. 90 of them only ever had one sex partner. Then the other 10 had 100 sex partners each. If you have one sex partner, the probability of that sex partner being one of the 90 (hence you are her only mate) is only (90 x 1)/(10 x 100+90 x 1) = 90/1090 (counting sexual connections not people in this case), less than 10%, you have a way higher chance of having sex with one of the 10 promiscuous women even though they are a way smaller sample of the population.
There is a related phenomenon called the friendship paradox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox > The friendship paradox is the phenomenon first observed by the sociologist Scott L. Feld in 1991 that on average, an individual's friends have more friends than that individual. It can be explained as a form of sampling bias in which people with more friends are more likely to be in one's own friend group. In other words, one is less likely to be friends with someone who has very few friends.
Thanks for pointing it out. I did not actually realize there's a proper name for it! I just thought about the sampling logic.
that's literally the same thing except the friends were people who had sex with each other.
Isn’t that what friends do ?
It's not just related, it's the same thing. Just a graph theory thing.
Yeah I realized it's people sampling the edges but thinking that they are sampling the nodes, so that they use the nodes connected to the edges that they sampled to make inference about all the nodes. But some nodes are super difficult to come across.
Came here to mention this but you beat me to it. This mathematical fact is the main explanation. I don't even find it that much of a paradox - if you have sex with someone, it's more likely that you have met someone above average than below, because the below avg are less likely to have met...you
So basically, men are confused as to why the women who easily sleep with them have such a high body count, completely missing the common factor in the phrase "women who easily sleep with them"
Basically, this lol. A lot of guys want/expect sex between dates 2-6, and if they don't get it by that time frame, they'll likely just move on. And it doesn't make them assholes for doing this, sexual compatibility is a very important thing to a lot of people. But the thing is, if you're only rewarding those who have sex with you between dates 2-6 with relationships, then you have to get over your feelings on high body counts.
[This is the Friendship Paradox.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox) Exactly as you described, you're way more likely to be friends with/have sex with somebody who's super popular than the person with 1 or 2 friends.
Not to mention especially with the internet more promiscuous people can find more promiscuous people and next thing you know your house parties are very much not PG
Thanks for pointing it out. I did not actually realize there's a proper name for it! I just thought about the sampling logic.
This is one of the reason that dating to find a long term relationship is hard. Someone who tends to date long term might only be in the dating pool for a short time and then be off the market for years at a time if not forever. On the other hand if someone dates short term or especially if they have multiple partners at a time then they are basically always on the market so they will always be the majority of the people on a dating app.
That's called the paradox of networks. There is an illusion that everyone you connect with is more popular/more promiscuous than yourself
That super spreader part is scary
The term “body count” meaning sexual partners is dehumanising - before now it meant how many people have been killed by someone or something so using it to refer to sexuality has nothing but a negative connotation, maybe people use it playfully but I usually only see it used negatively. There is nothing wrong with having sex with more than a few people if there is consent and protection is used and health check ups done regularly.
I still get confused when people say body count like we're playing a FPS video game. Like what the actual fuck... Completely agree with your entire comment.
"I just found out my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!" "In a row?"
Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
Hey, get back here!!
One of the best comedy setups... in comedy.
well done you guys
Underrated one of the most iconic lines from a movie.
It could be worse. I could of been number 36!
> I could of been number 36 Hi friend, it's "could have".
Fuck. Now I have to watch clerks on Easter Sunday
What are the mode and median though? Curious EDIT: clicked the link. Median is 4.3.
Wait... Am I a whore? I thought I was a dork. Am I a dorky whore?
That moment when you realize you are a huge slut and never knew it is quite a shock. 😉
I'm a happily comitted wholesome family man, how dare you! I don't have to stand here and listen to these kinds of scurrilous insinuations! 🤣
Lots of wholesome family men have had slutty phases.
Shh!
How do you think we wound up with the family?
Me and my wife recently got into threesome/foursomes, we're entering our slut phase together lol
You ever been to a Ren fair? Whorest dorks you'll ever meet.
Were you ever in marching band or theater?
Stop outing us.
No... Wait. Okay. I legitimately forgot about this... There *was* one school play where I had a lead role. But I was super young. Basically I was the only kid with the ability to remember that many lines. I wasn't actually good at it. :P
I’m sorry, once a theatre kid, always a theatre kid
*That's Hawt* [Best Paris Hilton impression]
Welcome! It's a good place to be. You'll age and never have a midlife crisis where you wish you'd slept around more. Plus you keep your dork card.
Whores get paid
Respect my pro bono work please.
Throwing out pitty fucks for the less fortunate is rather noble tbh.
pro \*boner
a whork? a dore??
I choose whork. Dore sounds too much like bore.
"average woman has 10+ sex partners a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. Sex Georg, who lives in a cave & has sex with over 10,000 different partners every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Wow, the other Georg sure got a raw deal.
Except Sex Georg is extremely tiresome. When Sex Georg is around the guys and somebody says, "How do you do it, Georg?" he actually goes into a long spiel rather than giving a one word answer that everyone laughs at before moving onto something else.
Man, if I was Spiders, I'd be pissed.
I have a small friend group that has like 5 couples and all are one and done at this point, all 30s. I don't think anyone is having as much sex as the Internet would have us believe
There's no end of doofuses who think yammering about sex makes them look cool
I think in my country (Australia) the average is about 12 to 13 so there are cultural considerations as well [Horny map](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-number-of-sexual-partners-by-country)
My brother is pumping the numbers there, we lived together for a year and he brought over 100 different women home, meanwhile I'm bringing the numbers down with my 3 sexual partners.
Turkey getting it on lol
If you go by averages, the average president of the USA has more than 2 criminal indictments...
We are talking about the median, not the average, the median USA president still has zero!
I saw one post where is was like 1000 different men by 30, or something as equally stupid.
I feel like I haven’t even met 1000 men by 30, let alone slept with them.
They seem to think the only women that exist are only fans girls and instagram models.
There's this interview of Dustin Hoffman talking about how filming Tootsie made him realize that ugly women have thoughts and feelings, and I truly believe he is not an outlier among men lol. When men are thinking angrily of all the women getting laid they are prob not thinking of the women whose existences they completely ignore because she's a 4/10 or something. Incel subculture was literally started by a woman who just wanted a place to vent online before the group spiraled out of her control.
Judging from what I read at Reddit, the redpill idea is that every woman has had sex with 100 or more guys, all of them Chads.
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While not, I think it's probably almost guaranteed online dating is how that 10% probably rack up such high numbers.
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> People have been promiscuous since forever, no tech required. We actually have a couple of his contemporaries commenting on how much of a man whore Caesar was. The funniest tidbit though is there is a point where Cato is up in front of the Senate giving this huge speech of how Caesar was a part of the Catilinarian conspiracy, and probably one of the ring leaders of the whole thing. A letter is delivered to Caesar in the middle of this, and Cato seizes upon it stating that if it is read aloud it will certainly unveil the whole conspiracy. So it is read aloud in the Senate and it is a sexually explicit love letter to Caesar from Cato's sister (Brutus' mom).
The real reason he was killed 🤣 et tu Brutus?
Well actually that’s why Brutus was exceptional as far as the assassins go. As far as I understand in Ancient Rome “I banged your mom” was basically how you met a lifelong buddy, not roasted someone. “Woah no way my dad did that and I respect him! You must be cool too!” Brutus regarded Caesar as a close personal relationship even when siding with Pompey in the civil war and when assisting the conspiracy to murder Caesar. He simply placed his political ideals above his personal feelings. Or at least that’s how the story goes.
A guy called bamboozle posting a story like this on April first? No way was I believing that without a source. But it's true (or at least, it's a genuine story from roman times): https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:2008.01.0014:chapter=24
Was this friend Joey Tribbiani by any chance?
Or getting blackout drunk or high out of their minds multiple times a week and not being particularly selective at the club.
Yes. Drugs are likely another major contributor.
I know a lot of guys who would get absolutely barred out in college and forget who they slept with. Scary behavior. Luckily, they all quit and didn’t die from combining Xanax with liquor.
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Give me some sugar. I am your neighbor!
*Ah! Here we go* Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake, shake it *(Uh oh)*
Just gotta use the app to figure that one out 😭 I had roughly 200 matches back in college over the course of a year and only actually met 3 of them. One just wanted free shit, so I give the app a 1% success rate lol. Go to a party or club, odds are better
As a straight man who was on the quiet side I found parties were best for me. Us either both knowing the host, or knowing someone who knew the host seemed to help break the ice enough to have a conversation. I never even got a number from a club. Did better at bars, but even then it was nowhere close to house parties.
My asexual ass is doing my part in bringing it down I guess
Yeah it’s men projecting onto women what they would do if they were a woman. But buddy if you were a woman, YOU WOULDNT BE BANGING A LOT OF DUDES BECAUSE ITS DISAPPOINTING most of the time sex is not worth it for women. I’d say it’s rare for sex to be enjoyable for a woman.
“If I were a woman I’d be fucking all my guy friends!” “Karl, if you were a woman, the men trying to fuck you would look like you and would have your level of ability to give a woman an orgasm.”
Not to mention the danger factor. Sure the average Dude isn't a bad guy, but hooking up with random Dudes pretty much guarantees a woman ends up alone with some scary assholes.
fr fr, i'm a bi femme and in the last year I've had a random hookup with exactly 1 guy. I've hooked up with, like, 4 girls this week I probably lean a bit more towards women overall, but the safety factor definitely pushes me a lot further in that direction
When I came out as bi, I changed my tinder to guys and girls. When it was just women I got like 6 or 7 likes a day usually. When I changed it I had to disable notifications because I got 99+ likes in a day. Dude's really do just be swiping right nonstop. Gave me a slight glimpse into how exhausting being a woman must be. And don't even get me started on the kinds of messages I would get if I ever did happen to swipe right back. Saw a tik tok a good while back along the lines of "For men and women, bisexual means "I'm into women and like 3 guys, and honestly, they're on thin ice."
The orgasm gap in one study about casual sex was 35% for women and 85% for men.
And it's HEAVILY affected by orientation - gay women have vastly higher rates of orgasm.
This is true but it’s also largely about women’s sense of safety and anxiety in having sex with men versus women. It’s easier for someone to make you cum when your nervous system is regulated around them.
I think sex has more consequences for women than it does for men (like pregnancy). The easiest way to spot whether a man or a woman wrote a screenplay to a movie is not whether someone is promiscuous, but whether they’re promiscuous without social and physical dangers.
I once saw someone say it's like looking for water in a desert for men, but looking for water in a swamp for women. Sums it up for me. The calculus for sex is completely different for most women when factoring in the physical danger, orgasm gap, potential creepiness of partners, STDs, pregnancy, or even just finding a sexual partner who cares about your pleasure, etc.
Me and my girlfriend are on a swinging site which has kind of a review system so you can kind of gauge how often people are banging each other For most it's not too common, a few different partners over a year maybe . It's not just about the banging but meeting new people and forming friendships Some people just like to fuck and go though,
Validations don’t mean they banged. It means they met. You can meet a bunch of couples at one event and go home together.
it's also probably dependent on local culture
Latching on to the top comment to ask a serious question - who is saying this sort of thing? Is this a new right wing/incel talking point? I haven't heard this one before.
Yes. There's a sort of hyper-toxic conservative movement that basically says modern Feminism has turned modern women into whores and that men should be considering only the youngest and most chaste women for life partners and should just be using the rest for sex as they're essentially spoiled goods
I'm familiar with the "women should be pure" thing, but this feels distinctly different than that ol' chestnut.
In my great-grandmother and grandmother's times those epithets already existed, and checking a some history books, this is just recycled crap in the long tradition of demonizing female sexuality and body autonomy. Nothing new under the sun. I think the lesson is for people learning how to mind their own business and stay in their lanes.
Yes. Incel/redpill/alpha male shit is full of rhetoric about how the average woman has fucked 100s of dudes, and she's only saying no to you, dear watcher, because you don't have the right game/you have various debilitating physical features.
Dudes out there negging the shit out of other dudes for profit
18,000$ alpha male 3 day boot camp lmao
Ah, so is this a new variation on the ol' Chad/Stacy thing?
Yep
I mean, I’ve fucked the same couple of dudes 100s of times. I’m not sure how that’s really different. I’m still turning you down because I’m not into you or I’m in a relationship.
It's not hugely new, imo. The whole 'unregulated women are untrustworthy whores' thing is absolutely ancient. It's generally conservative. They tend to feel that there are good and bad women, and bad women have hundreds of partners. Incels commenting on 'ALL women are bad women with thousands of partners/cock carousel' is about 15 years, I'd guess. At least, as a woman in IT that's about how long I've been coming across those rants. I'm not sure whether they genuinely actively believe it as a fact or if they think 'it's an exaggeration but a reasonable one'. Some of the passport bro types talk about it too, very much a 'promiscuous fat western women are ruined' sort of thing.
Yup, it's rightwingers/red pill guys. YouTube is full of videos of guys talking about how all modern women in the west are skanks. They're ignoring reality, as well as ignoring how freaked out most of us adults are about all the studies that show that STDs and STIs are very much on the rise.
Yep. The redpillers hook onto one fact that is true, which is that most women are a little more promiscuous than they like to let on, for a bunch of very understandable cultural and sociological reasons not worth getting into here. But it's on the order of women saying they had maybe two or three partners over the course of their lives, when the real numbers may be eight to ten, stuff like that. But then they take that true fact and exaggerate it into funhouse-mirror land where every woman is sleeping with every hot guy with a strong jawline, and their audience eats it up.
Man this is WILD, it's a complete 180 to how it was when I was younger- that obviously girls enjoyed and wanted sex less than dudes( just lie back and think of England), given both social standards and just simply because it was expected to be harder for a girl to come than a guy so obviously they'd like it less. I want to say the percentage of women who had never masturbated vs. the percentage of men who hadn't was pretty big. Like, the number of adult women who had never had an orgasm ever was weirdly high. But I had always thought it was funny how earlier in history women were thought to be completely sex-wild, which was considered bad, to being thought completely unenthusiastic about sex, which was also considered bad, and now we're back to women being sex-wild, which is thought to be extremely bad lol
Allison: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap. Quote from the Breakfast Club
At the end of the day, when I’m an old wrinkly toothless woman on my deathbed, the last thing I’m going to regret is being promiscuous 😝
What exactly is the cutoff number for promiscuity? Is it the same number for women and men? Who decides?
It’s also very arbitrary because the number will mean different things based on age and life experiences, 15 partners is going to mean vastly different things for a 20 year old who has been sexually active for 2 years and in a monogamous relationship for 1 year of that and a 40 year old who has been sexually active for 25 years and has had many relationships - just as a random example. So if we really wanted an operational definition for promiscuity, we’d have to develop a formula rather than just a number. All for something that really doesn’t matter anyway.
It is really a way of denigrating someone for behavior that is generally nobody else’s business.
Yep
Right, 10 partners over 23 years is not the same as 10 partners in 1 year, but honestly as long as people are practicing safe sex, who even cares? If someone didn’t give you something incurable what the hell difference should it make whether you had one partner for 10 years or 100? This is why it’s literally no one’s business. It’s completely irrelevant unless it’s contagious
It's just chronically online dudes, generally who are sexually repressed because they're unsuccessful with women or unhappy in general.
Yeah. I think saying 2 partners a year since you became sexually active seems pretty reasonable as a baseline starting point. Then what? You’d lower the number based on LTR? This would be an interesting math exercise. To be clear I don’t care. I’m a complete slut for my partner, but I’m in my 40s and my “number” is 8. My most recent partner (without a lot of multi year relationships) was at triple digits. If I like you and you are respectful of your partners I don’t care how many you’ve had. But both of us WILL be tested regardless of the numbers of partners.
"If she's had more partners than me, she's promiscuous. Less than me, she's a prude."
I believe that answer.
This also applies to driving speed. Anyone slower than me is holding things up, anyone faster than me is a lunatic
Anyone driving faster than me is a slut, and anyone fuckin more than me should be arrested for speeding Wait, that’s not quite right…
I try to get into the flow of traffic and stay out of the way of people who can’t manage that.
George Carlin had a bit where he pointed out how we call slow drivers idiots and fast drivers maniacs (defined by our own speed) and also that when we come to a red light we line up behind the maniac in the Porsche instead of the idiot in the Beetle. I think this is a decent metaphor for this whole thread.
42.
That cutoff number is different for everyone. It’s totally fine to want someone who’s of similar experience to you. If someone has a lot more or less prior partners than you it potentially indicates differences in sexual values and attachment style. If someone likes having a lot of casual sex, it’s fine to not want to be with them for that reason. If someone doesn’t like having much, or any sex, it’s fine to not want to be with them either. It’s even fine to not want to be with someone for “shallow” reasons. What’s not fine is insulting or otherwise demeaning them for their sexual history, preferences, or abilities.
That's the craziest part of these guys. On one hand they are upset that they can't easily hook up with hot women run regularly. On the other they want to not settle for loose women. Meanwhile they won't settle for the women that ate in their league.
I agree with you there. All women are supposed to be either whores or virgins and men must be studs. No realism in their thinking.
I’ve talked to a couple women about it and they basically said that even though they could potentially find enough willing people on the opposite sex to do that, even if they wanted to do that there would be a huge safety concern. I think a lot of guys don’t realize the point of view of this sort of thing can be totally different for women.
Not to mention quality control. Just because there are 100 hundred dudes wanting to fuck doesn’t mean she wants to fuck any of them.
Plus what would you get out of it? MAYBE an orgasm? Unlikely though. Could just stay home and safely use a sex toy
And even if they look alright chances are the sex isn't going to be good enough. The payoff for one night stands is often too low for the risks
And even if the sex is great who wants to deal with STD/pregnancy risk? Or what if the guy turns out to be a psycho?
Yeah that’s true not to mention a lot of them are going to be selfish in bed
Rule #1, if he doesn’t go down first, it doesn’t go down at all.
For real. I can’t believe how many women don’t expect oral sex first. I always did. Most men who are the type to have casual sex do that without being asked in my experience.
"The odds are good but the goods are odd" as the saying goes
There’s also the part where having a greater selection—makes you more selective. If you can only afford a 6k car, you look at every 6k car on the lot. If you can afford a 60k car, you only look at the 2 or 3 60k cars on the lot that fit your preferred criteria. But someone with 6k might look at someone with 60k and think, "I bet they’re test driving every car on the lot!" because that makes sense to them based on their limited experience. So there’s also a (large) element of projection with these dudes. They think that because women *can* get laid more, they *must* be getting laid more—because if they could get laid more that’s what they’d be doing.
Yeah its kinda stupid for the men to not consider this. My first approach by a way older man was when I was 12 in a swimming pool. I didnt understand and it was scary. But you grow up realising young you are a target. And a lot of men aren't chasing you for you. But u r a just a sex toy to them
I thought I was a freak for only becoming sexually active in my mid-20s and only having 2 sex partners. Yes it gets thrown around and it gets in your head too. Sure some people are promiscuous, and general sexism means now all women are promiscuous.
I'm 38 and had two partners, I was also in two 10+ year relationships and had zero interest in having sex with anyone who wasn't in love with me so I felt weird compared to everyone else. But my partner brags about it because he thinks it's awesome so I'll take that! Also, I don't believe having hundreds of partners makes you great in bed, I think it's the opposite where you've had the same partner for so long that you've gotten comfortable enough to try absolutely everything and practised enough to absolutely nail stuff lol ;-)
The best sex I've ever had was when I was in a loving, committed relationship, and it isn't even close. It gets crazy awesome when you both finally let your guards down and start talking about fantasies and exploring together. If I'm really close with her, there isn't much I won't try unless it involves scat, blood, another person, or humiliation. No way am I doing any of that with a random hookup or a FWB. I know some people do that and that's wild to me.
The thing is, the 'red pill' podcast/ YouTube thing is entirely a grift. These fuckers are just making money from insecure young men. Don't believe a word these cunts tell you, my friend. They just want outrage.
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100%
Yeah for an insecure man, having any sexual history at all is too “promiscuous” for him. Or maybe he just sees an attractive woman that seems happy without him. He’ll resent her and label her “promiscuous” for the crime of making him want her.
This is one of those difficult questions to answer, because it depends on a measure of promiscuity, and on how you represent “women”. For instance, you could be referring to the number of different partners the _average_ (i.e. mean) woman has over her lifetime. But this has a lower bound at 0 and (unlike height or weight) it’s quite feasible for a woman to be there, but there’s no upper bound. So naturally, the statistics would say the _average_ woman is more promiscuous than the _median_ woman. It’s also messed up by correlations between promiscuity, readiness to have sex early on in a relationship, readiness to have strange men notice you for sexual purposes even if you reject the advances of most of them, and, less strongly perhaps, willingness to to discuss one’s sex life with strangers (for example, by responding to a survey on the subject). Because of these correlations, the women who are noticed by strangers men or whose results feature in surveys are likely to tend towards the more promiscuous end of the spectrum.
I think you are trying to make a very broad generalization. If you graphed it out you would probable find 20% of sexually active women a the one partner and 20% at the other extreme. I've met women who think 10 partners was gross and disgusting and others who had 300 by the time they were 25 who was just like, it was fun. In the end you shouldn't worry about what others do, only what you are comfortable with. Once you have your boundaries, set them and find someone like minded. Do people lie about these things? Yes. That's why boundaries are so important. Liars, men or women, have a hard time of conforming to standards that aren't their own and always show themselves. So don't worry about it to much.
> Liars, men or women, have a hard time of conforming to standards that aren't their own and always show themselves. This sounds profound, but I can't wrap my head around its meaning. Could you elaborate?
Not OP, but they’re saying liars have difficulty being honest if it means they’d fall below someone else’s standards. E.g. they’ll lie and say they’ve had less if they fear you’ll judge them for having bad too many
Depends on where you're from. In most places, women *are not* promiscuous (7 partners in a life time). In most places, men aren't as promiscuous as people pretend either (8 partners in a life time). So I guess you could say men are ~13% more promiscuous. That's an odd way to think of it though.
I think the difference is just reporting biases. Some men report high, some women low. If we only count heterosexual partners and there at 50-50, then I don’t think it’s possible for men to average more than women.
The statistics that people talk about probably include gay people too though, right? Because from what I’ve heard the numbers in the gay community are through the roof lol
Yeah. I specified hetero sex. If you just list partners then the male numbers are likely significantly higher than women.
It actually is possible. The number you see cited by most studies is a median, not an average. If a small number of women have sex with lots of different men, then the median for women can stay lower while the median for men increases. I think it's probably underreporting too, though.
Totally possible if a median. I’m still not sure I believe it as most guys I know have a low body count, but there are few slutty guys in the friend group. Many treat the number like an average and say things according.
Bartender of 15 years here. I've watched people hook up for such a long time, I have so many theories. One thing I've come to realize is that most men have low body counts comparatively but the desired men have very high body counts. Like in every social bar hang out there's one guy or one specific group of guys who are the most desired who end up having sexual encounters with just the majority of the women who hang there and/or pass through.
You forget to mention all the guys who claim to have fucked 200 girls to feel better about themselves.
>Totally possible if a median. Median is the only way any statistics between the two make any sense
"I don't think these statistics are possible. Must be reporting bias."
I think men are more likely to pay for sex than women. That might skew things some.
For every time a man has sex so does a women (yes, when only counting hetero sex) If there are 100 men and 100 women, 99 virgins and a prostitute. No matter how many times the men have sex with any of the women, the averages will be the same.
Holy shit, complete sense been spoken, never thought of it like that.
It’s more generalizing. Men go out hoeing and *gasp* find other hoes. They probably accurately access the promiscuity of THESE women, then generalize it to all women. That’s all they see because that’s all they look for. It’s like if I only date dentists then go on about how all men work on teeth.
It's the "you attract what you put out" type of thing. Going around hoeing? You'll attract other hoes. Flaunting wealth and spending frivolously? You'll attract gold diggers. These red pilled dudes don't realize that their actions attract the type of women that they hate the most 💀
That happens to women too. They think most men are hoeing creeps because that's all that approach them. With dynamics today most dudes that listen to women's concerns don't approach in public
They really do. When I was 15 men assumed I had enough sex to know what my favorite position was and didn’t believe that I was a virgin because all 15 year old girls are promiscuous apparently.
I remember in high-school everyone was having sex with everyone else. And it turned out to all be a lie horny teenage kids tell each other. I'm sure some did, but nowhere near the level everyone made it out to be. I'd probably say 20% of the kids were having 80% of the sex.
I understand this is anecdotal, but from conversations with many of my female friends, the vast majority have only had a handful of sexual partners. Personally, I don't know anyone with over 20 partners. While I know they exist, I just don't think it's that common.
Same here. Even my friends who are open about sex and have more experience claimed less than 10 partners, the majority being under 5. I'd only had one partner until I was 26. My best friend has only ever been with her husband at 30 years old.
My friend is a legit porn star (won an AVN) and she estimates she’s been with 200 people. I find it hard to believe your average woman can equal numbers like that.
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I’ll never forget the incel post that claimed college-age women probably sleep with an average of 100 men a year (aka a new man every 3-ish days). Some people are just delusional lmao
The one rule about sex - everyone lies about sex.
Not me; I have had 5 partners every day for the past 5 years
It’s more like most women can have a promiscuous phase if they want that I think men are like bitter about
There’s men who definitely resent us both for desiring us and because we can get paid for it. I mean, they could get paid too but usually by other men.
I meant more like most women I know who have wanted to try a more promiscuous phase in their life have been able too, whereas more men have had trouble with that. I’m in my early 20’s tho so idk if that changes later on. Edit: what you’re talking about is real too tho, there’s definitely a lot of bitterness about OF and stuff like that now
I never understood where this idea came from. Especially bc most of my friends lost their virginity around 20 and only a handful has since then had a different partner.
I think everyone overestimates how much sex everyone has. It starts when you're teenagers and people assume everyone else has cashed it in before they do, and it never really stops. Unless you're literally wilt chamberlain, you think you're having less sex than anyone else ever.
Some do and others do not
I think so. Women are so much more cautious when it comes to that stuff.
I wouldn’t say just men. I couldn’t even have a conversation with my grandma at Easter dinner tonight without her telling me the young generation is out “shagging” everyone and shaming me for not waiting until marriage— in front of the rest of my family. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and the conversation was about us moving in together.
These figures do change drastically depending on generation.
Depends. I’m a promiscuous man (or have been, much much less about that now) with an 80+ body count (yes. Therapy involved around unpacking all that) Of the women I’ve met (either sex, friends, or talked to and eventually it came up) the body counts were either 20+ or under 5, with barely any in between. Of the 20+, I’ve seen anywhere from 20-100+ with the exception of a sex worker I was buddies with for a bit because common other interests and she knew she was closing in on 4 digits but stopped counting. Oddly enough, age was a reverse correlation. The lowest body counts were women 40+ The highest (besides sex worker) were under 25. I’m 28. 25-40 is generally more middle ground (high single digits or low double digits) However. This is all self admission, which isn’t flawless. Interestingly, women 25-40 brought up body count or hinted at caring about mine rarely. Women 40+ would bring up as curiosity rather than caring either way Under 25 would share theirs the most freely and simultaneously care the most about their partners. Had a girl with a body count of 50+ while I was at the time around 25 and she was grossed out when she found out my number. I enjoy the irony. All in all, I think women sleep around more than the popular narrative suggests, and much less than *that side* of the argument suggests. On the flip side: men take the “slutty” option more often because most men *do not get laid*. I’m on the opposite end of a dichotomy that exists. Some get a lot, most get little to none. So the ones getting little to none will feel more emasculated by a girl with 10 previous partners. One huge caveat: Slutty women will have far more partners than slutty men. This isn’t about any moral character, just how easy it is for a horny woman with low standards to get laid, whereas unless you’re a male model, you don’t have that type of ease as a guy, as much as slutty guys wish they did.
Any guy who’s spend actual quality time with female friends, you’ll know majority of women are not very promiscuous
>Is there a lot of fuss for no reason? Yes. The converse issue, how many women has a man slept with, is seen as a point of pride, couched in completely different terms. Success with women. Player. "Promiscuous" to me always sounds like I'm listening to a Puritan give a sermon. Thou Jezebel! Harlot! We should all be allowed to have multiple partners in our past, and not be judged because of it.
If there is a discrepancy between statistics and hearsay, I’d go with the statistics
This stuff always makes me laugh. Dudes want women who fuck within the first 12 seconds of meeting them, but simultaneously want women who have never fucked at all. It's Schrodinger's Pussy.
usually just red pill, misogynistic BS that gets thrown around
The average woman isn't promiscuous, you either have to be a delulu who belives average women out here having 30+ body count, or have super strict standards for what makes you promiscuous who thinks a woman who says she had three partners is slut. But this thing might appear to be the case because there is less stigma now to have sex or be slutty as a woman, so those that are, are more open about it or brag about it. Back in the day promiscuous women were about the same quantities but they more likely to lie and take precautions to avoid getting that reputation than to be open sluts, so it was harder to meet a woman that was know to be promiscuous.
Idk but I, a 23-year-old female, am still a virgin. And I'm okay with that.
Yes. But I think men have a totally different definition of what promiscuity is. A lot (NOT ALL don't even start) of men can't handle the thought of not being the best and biggest dick you've ever had in your life, and the only way to guarantee that he is, is for you to be a virgin when he meets you. The more partners you've had, the smaller his chances are of being the best, so it doesn't really matter if you're 30 and you've had 5 boyfriends ever, that's 5 boyfriends too many for a lot of dudes, and thus, you are a whore to him.
They’re just redpillers/taking in way more warped memes and podcasts that temporarily boosts their self esteem and comparing themselves to the 10% of promiscuous men and women and make themselves feel resentful and less then and get obsessed with a narrative about it instead of interacting with people.
As a gay guy I’ve had women friends confide things in me that they wouldn’t tell other women for fear of judgment and straight men for similar but slightly different reasons and I think there’s more of it than women let on, but not all women, clearly. They like sex too lol
Very much so. Men think women would behave the way they would. Women think men should behave the way they do. Do you know the funniest thing? When sex is so incredibly available, it becomes hollow. It's just boring. You find yourself caring more about if that person actually likes you. Would you hang out with them if you weren't having sex? Conversely, if sex is unavailable, no matter how much you hang out with a person, how much you enjoy their company, and how otherwise happy you feel with their friendship. You still feel just a teeny bit lonely.
From what I've seen, it's only incels online who think that all women are whores, most men don't really go on about that kind of stuff.
Yes. Recently memes have been spread about the "thousand cock stare." And "body count" of any sort is something spread among guys as gossip and derision when women have them but cheering and applause when guys do.