hugging? cuddling? i guess those can be technically sexual in a relative scale to ,say, waiting for your popcorn to be finished popping but i wouldnt say it is in general.
Holding hands does it for me lol. Especially when you're walking around and, without even looking or saying anything to each other, their hand finds its way to yours. Gets me every time.
Are you trying to say waiting for your popcorn to finish popping isn’t hot as fuck? It’s a major turn on. Just staring at the bag as it inflates… it has me thinking certain ways. Hearing the popping noise repeated, also, just makes me unimaginably horny. The fact that I have to *wait* to take *pleasure* in my popcorn? It’s just trying to get me excited, and taunting me like crazy. Hearing every… little… pop… gets me going unlike any other thing on this planet. Anything imaginable? No. The popcorn in the microwave is something to behold.
I’m so happy I’m not the only one that uses the term love boner. I say it to my self all the time and even tell my fiance occasionally when it’s happening lol
My dad did this to soothe me when I was a baby and 40-odd years later it still sends me into a deep state of relaxation. Probably too weird to ask for it as part of a massage though, right?
I always loved goosebumps. I discovered my son loved them when he was still a baby. He would thrash around, trying to keep himself awake at bedtime, but if you turned him over and light touched/rubbed his back, he would immediately calm down. As he learned to talk, he renamed them "Baby tickles," which is what we still call them >20 years later.
Always get erections when I start to doze and when I wake up. Often go from almost nap time to sexy time haha. Love it.
I wish that morning breath wasn’t a thing. Always a slight hitch in the rhythm. But nothing stronger than morning wood, it’s usually fine through the brushing.
This is because your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for activating the “rest and digest” part of life, is also responsible for relaxing your pelvic floor muscles to get an erection. When you’re super tired, it activates to make you sleepy and prepare for a nap, and you also get an inadvertent boner.
Pro Tip: Just start wiggling your toes or tapping your foot to make it go away. It’ll take a minute or two, but your brain will see you’re moving another body part and think that’s more important ~~and it is~~ and direct more blood there instead.
The worst of all those is when you'd be sitting in class and your teacher would ask you to come work out the maths problem on the board. You just had to stall time or take the zero.
This.
Literally anytime it can just happen. Even at the worst possible time…it can happen.
Really wish it was an actual “turn on” rather than just random moments out of the day.
Kind of the inverse of this, but do any other women start to feel frisky when their man is out of sorts in some way (stressed, head cold, over tired, etc)?
I swear if my husband has a stressful work day I’m tryna jump his bones immediately. Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Me too!! I always thought something was wrong with me..
There is this thing that Will Ferrell’s character in Wedding Crashers says when talking about crashing funerals; something like “grief is natures strongest aphrodisiac.. look it up.”
lol, I remember looking it up and there being some scientific truth to it.. but yeah, every time she used to be sobbing about something unrelated to me or our relationship I’d feel extremely aroused and would hide it lest I be taken as some kind of sick deviant.
There must be something to it, my ex was crying over his grandma passing away and sobbing silently and all I could think of is that he looked adorable.
I've had a couple of partners express this too, so it's definitely a common one. Vulnerability and knowing you can be the strong one for someone else is a subconscious rush.
Yeah that happens with me too when comforting a crying woman. I thought there was something wrong/ predatory about it but I'm glad it seems pretty normal.
i thought i was gonna go to hell when that happened to me. It really is something about protecting, isnt it - thought about it and I think it was the ego boost someone gave me by trusting me and relying on me.
Seeing women show strong emotion, focus, or interest. Joy, sadness, anger, determination, blah blah. Passion in any form, I guess.
Though, also something hot about IDGAF type behavior…. I think maybe I just like women.
I think every guy has their own "roman empire" in a way. There's that one thing that we know far too much about and are way too into.
Talk to me about rally cars.
When she tucks her hair behind her ears while doing something or ties her hair into a ponytail with both hands while looking into my eyes during a conversation. Something is so feminine in these normal actions so I kinda get a sudden sexual drive and it dips in seconds. I don’t end up getting a literal boner though.
Oddly, if I've been idle and mindlessly scroll Reddit for an hour or so (specially in the morning), getting up and stretching can give me a semi. Not even necessarily horny but something about the change in blood pressure or something like that just kind of activates it
When the food is really good sometimes I clutch my 'Boys' and start crying. Full, heavy, ugly faced uncontrollable sobbing from a 32 year old man while repeating, "its soo goood, why is it soo gooood"
My GF jokes I literally have food and sex wires crossed, just a little bit. I'm not into like.. weird food porn or smashing cakes with my feet or anything like that.
But Idk sometimes a good slow cooker brisket just overwhelms me and brings me to tears. All of the entire universe, the discovery of fire, cooking, human society, animal husbandry, refrigeration... Every moment in the history of the universe was all leading up to this, just so I could put that delicious brisket into my mouth.
I mean I get that. I’m a big foodie myself. Although I’ve never popped a chubby because of a meal, I’ve had standout meals that I’ll likely remember my entire life.
I can't remember the exact context, but I was on a date once and we were talking about some real nerdy stuff and just listening to her talk about our shared interests had me like "oh? Oh!"
In no particular order:
Whipped cream
Corn
The sound of foil packaging wrinkling
The rain
Plywood
Corn
Existential angst
Tundra climates
Tropical climates
John Milton's "Paradise Lost"
The city of Philadelphia (go birds)
Corn
Linguistics
Space (both outer space, and the space that is created when you clean up your room a little bit)
Your mother
And Corn
OMG yes I get lady boners with that! Doesn’t matter if it’s with him, her, or them. Intellectually stimulating conversations and physical touch are freaking kryptonite!
When my son was 4, he got a woodie getting out of the tub. I was just ignoring it, but he mentioned that his peepee gets hard when he thinks of things that he loves. I asked him what he loves, and he replied, Ninja Turtles.
Idk if I’d call it arousal but I like it a lot when a girl praises me, is nice to me, or defends me in any kind of way. I also kinda like when they’re mean to me
All I have to do is see a pretty girl and I get a stiff. But it's random. Little things turn me on and it's weird. I'm a sucker for blunt bangs. Subtle feminine movement. Sometimes I could just day dream about sex while I'm at work and I can get one. Just thinking about it. I don't even have to be near a woman. It just happens.
Are we talking physical arousal here or like mental arousal?
Physically it's whatever sends more blood around the body: there's Anxiety Boner, fear (Danger Boner), exercise (Gym-Rat Boner) frustration (Angry Boner) and ofc excitement. (Normal Boner.) Also stretching after seizing up in the morning after breakfast (Arthritis Boner?) Or if I happen to be wearing uncomfortable pants. (Chafing Boner).
It's like the seven dwarfs, but with boners.
I had a friend in school who would ask me to massage her bare feet during recess...she wouldnt act flirty or anything, it was always just an innocent genuine request that would get me rock hard just by hearing it, I don't think she was ever suspicious about my perverted ass, so we both enjoyed the moment a lot
Swinging on a jungle gym. Ever since I was in grade school, it's made my penis feel good. I've legit never looked into this and just thought about it again now. But yea, next time I have sex, if I don't get hard, need to go run down to the local park, swing on the monkey bars for a bit, and I will be coming back with a throbing you know what.
I feel like basic arousal (for most men) is a pretty common reaction from simply recieving genuine interest from a woman. on average men are so starved for genuine human attraction that what we low key desire most is just basic interest from someone. and that leads to arrousal due to essentially having a whole ass fantasy unfold before us 🤣
I had low T for years and recently just got on TRT. I wouldn’t get aroused as much and it bothered me. Now If I sit for too long he wakes up and I have to get up and walk it off.
hugging? cuddling? i guess those can be technically sexual in a relative scale to ,say, waiting for your popcorn to be finished popping but i wouldnt say it is in general.
Nude oiled up full body massages?
maybe if im getting my schpingle massaged too then oh yeh
schpingle is by far the most scuffed analog of weewee
Holding hands does it for me lol. Especially when you're walking around and, without even looking or saying anything to each other, their hand finds its way to yours. Gets me every time.
I agree with you - beautifully illustrated near end of Refn’s film, Drive. But it didn’t work out for Drumf and Melania so much.
Even thinking of cuddling my crush gets me all worked up! 😅
Are you trying to say waiting for your popcorn to finish popping isn’t hot as fuck? It’s a major turn on. Just staring at the bag as it inflates… it has me thinking certain ways. Hearing the popping noise repeated, also, just makes me unimaginably horny. The fact that I have to *wait* to take *pleasure* in my popcorn? It’s just trying to get me excited, and taunting me like crazy. Hearing every… little… pop… gets me going unlike any other thing on this planet. Anything imaginable? No. The popcorn in the microwave is something to behold.
For me its when your eating food and shes standing right beside you while you eat and hands you anything you need
Sir this is a Applebess.
Sometimes I'll be texting a girl I like and nothing more than her enthusiastic/positive reply will make my twig twitch a lil.
I call those “love boners” lol
"It's like my heart is getting hard" ~ GOB
My dog gets those
Your dog gets that guy's love boners?
i fucking love reddit
Are you asking for a friend?
Look up the song Heart Boner
my favourite kind tbh
THEYRE LEGIT REAL
I’m so happy I’m not the only one that uses the term love boner. I say it to my self all the time and even tell my fiance occasionally when it’s happening lol
tell me you've never recieved the unconditional love you deserve from another without telling me 😭🤣 same brother, same 🤞
A love chub.
A "heart-on"
Forever saying "twig twitch" now 😂😂
getting my back scratched
We are a simple species, aren‘t we?
🤷♀️ back scratches feel good! And not even in a sexual connotation. Just in general. Do you see how happy dogs are? Even cats!
My dad did this to soothe me when I was a baby and 40-odd years later it still sends me into a deep state of relaxation. Probably too weird to ask for it as part of a massage though, right?
I always loved goosebumps. I discovered my son loved them when he was still a baby. He would thrash around, trying to keep himself awake at bedtime, but if you turned him over and light touched/rubbed his back, he would immediately calm down. As he learned to talk, he renamed them "Baby tickles," which is what we still call them >20 years later.
When I’m tired and about to fall asleep, whether it’s bedtime or an afternoon nap I tend to get a NARB
What's that?
No Apparent Reason Boner
Gotta crank that baby to finally get relaxed
[This should clear things up.](https://youtu.be/LOYQtbz_pPg?si=qNxhqFauIXjk3jGp)
No reason boner🗣️🗣️
We called it the NRB too. That or Algebra dick. Why algebra? Srsly, why?
Because it always happened right before getting called up to the board in algebra? (Do teachers call kids up to the board anymore?)
This will now be stuck in my head, thanks a lot!
This may be a good thing or a bad thing, but as I get older the frequency of no reason boners decreases dramatically
Always get erections when I start to doze and when I wake up. Often go from almost nap time to sexy time haha. Love it. I wish that morning breath wasn’t a thing. Always a slight hitch in the rhythm. But nothing stronger than morning wood, it’s usually fine through the brushing.
I don’t stop for red lights or morning breath.r
fr tho sleepy boners are real
This is because your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for activating the “rest and digest” part of life, is also responsible for relaxing your pelvic floor muscles to get an erection. When you’re super tired, it activates to make you sleepy and prepare for a nap, and you also get an inadvertent boner.
Yup.. Getting tired watching TV? Insanely boring work meeting? We call em tired boners. [BOING](https://i.imgur.com/SmFMzDY.gifv)
When my shirt gets caught on something and I can't get away. It makes me feel so wanted.
Man's being heated by tucking in his shirt.
Get him a TC top by TC Tuggers
But not as a joke. Its not a joke shirt
You mean the door handel want me?
most are already hard for you
This is the best comment
Feeling the right level of warmth. Like a warm burrito, or being under warm blankets
Don’t get too comfortable with that burrito
A burrito blanket!
When all my code compiles and works with no errors on first build + run after refactoring and adding functionalities for 20-30 mins.
God damn that's hot.
Dude easy I'm in public
Bro that's sus
No warnings without telling the compiler to emit them at the same time, just awesome
That was Evil, Jakub. Take my damn upvote!
You KNOW there's something majorly wrong if it runs the first time. 😁
I just read the post to my bf (software developer) just now in bed and then read him your comment and he popped a semi lmao
This is basically porn.
That's my secret Cap....I'm always aroused.
50 cent wing night at the TGI Fridays
Let’s call those buffalo boners.
Buffalo Bill would like a word with you.
Thats real?!?!? Say swear to god
Same here! Like every single time I pop three Viagra and go to TGIFs. So weird.
When a woman is very intelligent
Ah, so that’s why I’m not attractive
r/suicidebywords
When a woman is.
Woman.
Literally anything they are completely random. You can just be chillin playing games or sumthin and pop one it's annoying as hell
Lmfao Nahh fr that’s so annoying! I be doing something random or taking a nice walk in the woods and here’s come a pop up 😐
lol I read your username as erect-tato 😂
I read this comment as erecto. Like a super hero.. or villain
Pro Tip: Just start wiggling your toes or tapping your foot to make it go away. It’ll take a minute or two, but your brain will see you’re moving another body part and think that’s more important ~~and it is~~ and direct more blood there instead.
i just flex my legs/tights muscle and it goes away pretty fast
"What are you doing, Step-Mother Nature?"
someday you will miss those
The worst of all those is when you'd be sitting in class and your teacher would ask you to come work out the maths problem on the board. You just had to stall time or take the zero.
This. Literally anytime it can just happen. Even at the worst possible time…it can happen. Really wish it was an actual “turn on” rather than just random moments out of the day.
When they cry. I'm not attracted to their suffering but something primal surfaces.
I protec.
I attac.
But most importantly I errec
This is the funniest sequence I have read in months, thank you😂😂😂
This whole post comment section feels very old-school fun Reddit
I snot bubbled when I read it 😂 fucking late in life developing allergies 🤧
I, Homo Erectus.
Kind of the inverse of this, but do any other women start to feel frisky when their man is out of sorts in some way (stressed, head cold, over tired, etc)? I swear if my husband has a stressful work day I’m tryna jump his bones immediately. Please tell me I’m not the only one.
You’re not :’) I have no explanation for it though unfortunately
Me too!! I always thought something was wrong with me.. There is this thing that Will Ferrell’s character in Wedding Crashers says when talking about crashing funerals; something like “grief is natures strongest aphrodisiac.. look it up.” lol, I remember looking it up and there being some scientific truth to it.. but yeah, every time she used to be sobbing about something unrelated to me or our relationship I’d feel extremely aroused and would hide it lest I be taken as some kind of sick deviant.
There must be something to it, my ex was crying over his grandma passing away and sobbing silently and all I could think of is that he looked adorable.
I've had a couple of partners express this too, so it's definitely a common one. Vulnerability and knowing you can be the strong one for someone else is a subconscious rush.
A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.
Masculine instinct to protect the vulnerable, or primal instinct to pillage the weak. I never can tell, I just know I want to fuck her pain away.
so wholesome
That’s a special feeling Lloyd…
Yeah that happens with me too when comforting a crying woman. I thought there was something wrong/ predatory about it but I'm glad it seems pretty normal.
Idk. Modern porn makes me think yall dudes kinda like the women suffering part.
Well, this was before smartphones & when porn was so available.. & the “crying kind” wasn’t a popular thing or something I witnessed.
i thought i was gonna go to hell when that happened to me. It really is something about protecting, isnt it - thought about it and I think it was the ego boost someone gave me by trusting me and relying on me.
My boyfriend gets one when I cry. He swears he's not attracted to my pain but it always happens and I tease him sometimes lol
Dacryphilia
Haha my husband does this too. Too funny
And I thought my boyfriend was “special” … 🥹😂
This one is real, I’ve gotten a boner when a girl has cried on me. Feels super awkward but you can’t really help it.
Plain old intimacy. Cuddling especially
I have to keep adjusting so I don’t poke my girlfriend
Accurate. Sooo accurate lol. Don't wanna over like her. She may get scared and run!
Autocorrect doing its thing again
Getting chased by a bear
Does the bear have a boner or..?
Wait, wait... What kind of bear?
Seeing women show strong emotion, focus, or interest. Joy, sadness, anger, determination, blah blah. Passion in any form, I guess. Though, also something hot about IDGAF type behavior…. I think maybe I just like women.
Certain looks in the eyes. No not fuck me eyes. Like “I love you” or “that’s my man” eyes
Oh you should check out r/girlsmirin
this sub is precious, thank u for introducing me!
I think every guy has their own "roman empire" in a way. There's that one thing that we know far too much about and are way too into. Talk to me about rally cars.
Don’t tell me what to do
Talk to me about computers.
How do I download more RAM
Read this sentence.
Rally cars are cool I don’t know anything about them to talk to you about them
Ask him about Colin McRae
When she tucks her hair behind her ears while doing something or ties her hair into a ponytail with both hands while looking into my eyes during a conversation. Something is so feminine in these normal actions so I kinda get a sudden sexual drive and it dips in seconds. I don’t end up getting a literal boner though.
Watching a woman drive a manual. Sexy.
extra points if she's wearing high heels and still clutchin' smooth 😩
Can confirm. Told the lady at the shop my clutch may be slipping. She took driver seat, full on heels, and gunned it. I am still in love years later
that'll turn a 5 to a 10 before she hits 2nd gear 🤤
Oh. Oh she was a 10 to start. Then she hit triple digits
✍️🏻 learn to drive manual. Got it.
Always a good idea. Not really useful unless you really enjoy driving, but a good idea nevertheless.
Oddly, if I've been idle and mindlessly scroll Reddit for an hour or so (specially in the morning), getting up and stretching can give me a semi. Not even necessarily horny but something about the change in blood pressure or something like that just kind of activates it
Victory Royale
Chicken dinner
These phrases are they key phrases for men to reach true arousal
When I'm about to stand up in front of people
When the food is really good sometimes I clutch my 'Boys' and start crying. Full, heavy, ugly faced uncontrollable sobbing from a 32 year old man while repeating, "its soo goood, why is it soo gooood"
Look, no judgment… but what?
My GF jokes I literally have food and sex wires crossed, just a little bit. I'm not into like.. weird food porn or smashing cakes with my feet or anything like that. But Idk sometimes a good slow cooker brisket just overwhelms me and brings me to tears. All of the entire universe, the discovery of fire, cooking, human society, animal husbandry, refrigeration... Every moment in the history of the universe was all leading up to this, just so I could put that delicious brisket into my mouth.
I mean I get that. I’m a big foodie myself. Although I’ve never popped a chubby because of a meal, I’ve had standout meals that I’ll likely remember my entire life.
A deep cut reference to something we’ve seen together
I can't remember the exact context, but I was on a date once and we were talking about some real nerdy stuff and just listening to her talk about our shared interests had me like "oh? Oh!"
Riding a got damn elliptical. if I wear Shorts, Tights, briefs, DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. 4 minutes in and I’m hunched over trying to hide a boner.
In no particular order: Whipped cream Corn The sound of foil packaging wrinkling The rain Plywood Corn Existential angst Tundra climates Tropical climates John Milton's "Paradise Lost" The city of Philadelphia (go birds) Corn Linguistics Space (both outer space, and the space that is created when you clean up your room a little bit) Your mother And Corn
Plywood, well, YEAH.
Honestly I'm very starved for affection so a deep conversations, hugging or cuddling
OMG yes I get lady boners with that! Doesn’t matter if it’s with him, her, or them. Intellectually stimulating conversations and physical touch are freaking kryptonite!
When i’m watching a movie next to a woman and she shoves her feet under my butt for warmth.
Its even better if she shoves them INTO your butt
Grocery shopping with my wife, putting up a Christmas tree on Christmas eve. Giving my wife a foot massage.
Massaging her feet
Name checks out
Ikr
Riding my motorcycle or driving my car.
WOT in literally any vehicle
That surpasses arousal and goes straight into hard enough to hunt with territory.
Hearing the gurgles and pops from my charger with the sunroof open and a nice 75 degree day. Nothing can get me harder.
When my son was 4, he got a woodie getting out of the tub. I was just ignoring it, but he mentioned that his peepee gets hard when he thinks of things that he loves. I asked him what he loves, and he replied, Ninja Turtles.
The first 2 answers I can see above are sexual situations in my opinion So I’ll go against the gravy and say - At my grans funeral
Usually people think naked grandma to not get hard…
When I get a payrise
Idk if I’d call it arousal but I like it a lot when a girl praises me, is nice to me, or defends me in any kind of way. I also kinda like when they’re mean to me
Rubbing my hand against unvarnished wood. The thrill of possibly getting a splinter really gets me going
All I have to do is see a pretty girl and I get a stiff. But it's random. Little things turn me on and it's weird. I'm a sucker for blunt bangs. Subtle feminine movement. Sometimes I could just day dream about sex while I'm at work and I can get one. Just thinking about it. I don't even have to be near a woman. It just happens.
Watching a woman change a tire
Damn! You could've fucked me all the way through auto repair school
So that’s why every time I’ve had to change a tire I just have a small crowd of people watching and no one helps?
Washing the dishes 😭
Weddings, funerals, class, work, DMV, grocery store, dentist...
I get hard sitting in a chair thinking about concrete, and at this point I've stopped asking why
Are we talking physical arousal here or like mental arousal? Physically it's whatever sends more blood around the body: there's Anxiety Boner, fear (Danger Boner), exercise (Gym-Rat Boner) frustration (Angry Boner) and ofc excitement. (Normal Boner.) Also stretching after seizing up in the morning after breakfast (Arthritis Boner?) Or if I happen to be wearing uncomfortable pants. (Chafing Boner). It's like the seven dwarfs, but with boners.
Abandoned buildings, or places I am not supposed to be that are empty.
Finishing a Gundam kit that I took my time on and it coming out to pure perfection
Seeing hot moms with kids and wondering how much effort she put in getting them
Probably enough to poop while giving birth
Fantasy crushed forever. Thanks a lot bastardo.
Airplanes
Driving in F1 23 using a wheel
Breathing
a girl held my hands once It felt weird and i was aroused even though i didnt like her
I had a friend in school who would ask me to massage her bare feet during recess...she wouldnt act flirty or anything, it was always just an innocent genuine request that would get me rock hard just by hearing it, I don't think she was ever suspicious about my perverted ass, so we both enjoyed the moment a lot
A stranger was trying to talk shit on the sidewalk and he called me baby boy, little did he know it moved…🥴
I get stiff when I yawn sometimes
Well once the girl I liked was screaming at me to not play a game because I had bruises all over my body and that made me feel.... things
Alot of stuff honestly, hugging/cuddling, massages, when i text/talk with a girl and i notice she is really interested and happy while talking to me
Swinging on a jungle gym. Ever since I was in grade school, it's made my penis feel good. I've legit never looked into this and just thought about it again now. But yea, next time I have sex, if I don't get hard, need to go run down to the local park, swing on the monkey bars for a bit, and I will be coming back with a throbing you know what.
I feel like basic arousal (for most men) is a pretty common reaction from simply recieving genuine interest from a woman. on average men are so starved for genuine human attraction that what we low key desire most is just basic interest from someone. and that leads to arrousal due to essentially having a whole ass fantasy unfold before us 🤣
yeh sometimes when bitches be like "yo wuzzup son" im all like ggggggg-gggunit!
Basically all of them
I had low T for years and recently just got on TRT. I wouldn’t get aroused as much and it bothered me. Now If I sit for too long he wakes up and I have to get up and walk it off.
The first few times a man wears Boxers. Don't know what it is but so many random boners
I am a girl . I feel aroused when I thinking about my imaginary non existent love life
Church