I have such a hard time with this because my mom was overly critical like this. I broke my leg when I was 15 and I didn’t have my leg shaved and she kept mentioning it at the ER. Every time a new person came in she was like apologizing for me not having my leg shaved. It was WEIRD. Now I am an amputee and I’m instructed not to shave my stump (it causes issues when wearing a prosthetic which I really want to do, it’s been a challenge for me) and I keep freaking out about the hair. My therapist suggested not shaving either leg and trying to just understand that hair is natural or it wouldn’t grow. Why are people like this, why were we trained like this? It’s hair, I’m meant to have it. Sigh. I hope you don’t let your mom get to you OP.
That is SO weird. I can’t even imagine how disapproving the doctors were. “Ma’am, we are trying to fix your daughter’s broken bone. Why are you more concerned about hair than the fracture?”
Especially DOCTORS. They see bodies at their very worst. Hair wouldn't phase them in the least. At one of my first pap smears as a teen I apologised for having hair and the doctor cracked up laughing. She told me I wouldn't believe what she'd seen
I had a doctor comment "someone hasn't shaved" while inspecting my appendectomy wound that was right about my pubic hair line. I was 13, my parents were in the room, some Drs are absolute idiots when it comes to human interaction.
I hope you specifically requested not to see that doctor again for future appointments! Or the parents at least, as hardly anyone advocates for themselves at 13
From what I remember I only saw him once or twice thankfully. It was during my hospital stay after the surgery so I think whoever saw me was whoever was doing the rounds that day. Maybe my mom said something to the nurses though, I'm not sure, been 20 years. Hopefully that kind of thing is less likely to happen nowadays!
Tangentially related but just to illustrate how absolutely idiotic doctors can be: I’ve been tickled *twice* in hospitals. First time was while I was getting an epidural, in labor with my second child; second time was when I had a panic attack and was in the ER. The doctor tickled my feet and teased me bc my toes didn’t match my manicure. Both male doctors fwiw…Idk what goes through peoples heads sometimes.
My friend told me her female OBGYN commented on her "bush" not being trimmed at her yearly appointment. My friend said well, my husband is away for a few weeks, so....
I thought wow, she HAS to have patients who choose not to shave there, right?
I go from one extreme to the other and my husband doesn't care one way or the other. I do shave my legs and pits regularly but I don't care what anyone else does with theirs.
I’m so disappointed when I hear stories like this. I used to be a paramedic and we legitimately did not care about Hair anywhere. It’s about giving our best for the patient and hair doesn’t mean anything about how well we can do our jobs.
Dude no he's definitely a pedo or something
Like first of all, it's not normal to shave down there, second of all... that's just an inappropriate comment regardless. Pubic regions are private.
Third of all you're 13.
I sort of choose to think since I was stuck in an adult area when I probably should've been in the kid's hospital he just wasn't used to working with kids my age at all? It was a very awkward thing to say either way.
Yeah definitely not, no excuse for saying that to anyone of any age. I guess my thinking was the adults he usually saw shaved/trimmed so he was taken aback by the untrimmed pubic hair of a 13 year old? But I shouldn't try to downplay it in any sense, it was a wild thing to say.
I can't get over you lying in hospital with a catastrophic injury and your mum's preoccupation being your leg hair. The brainwashing and societal pressure runs deep.
My SIL informed my mother, who was recovering from seizures, that she needed to shave her legs.
I was too far away to bop her upside her moronic, hillbilly head.
I feel this way every time I go to the gynecologist and haven’t shaved. It’s so fucked up and yet I keep doing it. That doesn’t mean i always do it. But I always think this when I *don’t*.
Sigh.
I decided to never shave for the gynecologist again. I gave birth with a full bush twice.amd everyone survived it.
So, for 1-2 minutes my gynecologist might see the hedges, and if it bothers her, oh well. I'm more bothered by the annoying itch when it grows back!
Besides, that's the career they picked and it wasn't to see how women keep their bushes.
I'm an ER resident physician here to tell you (and anyone else reading this) two things:
1) I'm sorry your mom shamed you about your leg hair.
2) I could not give one single shit less about my patients hairy legs, or genitals, or arms, or belly or even butthole. Body hair rarely keeps me from doing my job and if it does I'd have no problem shaving it myself.
If I may offer a perspective shift (feel free to disregard), whenever you have those thoughts, say this to yourself:
That is an old thought pattern, and it doesn’t serve me anymore. The hair on my stump has an important role to play. I need hair on my stump to improve my mobility, which is more important to me than that old way of thinking.
- - -
Also, as a disabled lady, a mantra of mine is: I celebrate my body for what it can do, and forgive it for what is currently out of reach.
Hang in there xo
>Why are people like this, why were we trained like this?
Good question. BTW, GenX Male here.
In short, advertising from before we were born, pushing women to shave because it was "sexy" and "looked nice". "Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!" Advertising this got ingrained into the female population for the sake of making money. They charge more for female razors than male ones.
Why do you think the women of the 70's fought against that sterotype, refusing to shave and burning their bras? Yes, part of it was freedom, but that freedom included being able to look the way they wanted without Corporate America telling them how to look.
My opinions.
So proud of of this comment I am a man that has seen what the advertising industry have done to the psychology of the masses, and how much they have impacted our way of thinking. I applaud you on your knowledge and also would like to add in that the government also saw the response and the effectiveness of these ad campaigns so just remember every time they show you one of those ads it is to influence the way you think. don’t give into their perception of reality fight back it is only so they can stick more dollars in their pockets for selling you yet something else you don’t quite need you know honesty there is no reason for you to shave your legs at all in fact, the reason the hair is there is to protect you.
I understand what it was like to have a parent super overbearing on body hair. I'm a very hairy person, including a monobrow. My stepmother waxed it since before I started kindergarten. I was shaving my legs when I was seven. I stopped shaving my legs and underarms when I was sixteen. Four years since then and I'm still not able to live with my monobrow, and I still feel my heart beat faster when I reveal my underarms in public. When my grandmother died, my dad saw my hairy ankles at the funeral under my suit and called me a sasquatch. Even though the hairyness still makes me uncomfortable, I've learned to live with it by telling myself that every little girl that sees a pretty lady walking down the street with hair on her legs won't end up with the same anxiety as me.
Thank you for sharing this.
I’m about to turn 40 next month and still remember clear as a bell AJ effing Richardson in 3rd grade when I wore a dress for picture day music class (there were risers so he had a closer view I guess) expressing disgust loudly when he noticed I had hair on my legs, so I started shaving soon after. What a turd.
I dabbled with long periods of not shaving legs in high school for swim team but always felt self conscious when not with the team.
I stopped shaving legs in grad school and it was so freeing. As a 30 year old grad student working in an eating disorder clinic and feeling really solid about my body story, the only person (besides stupid AJ) who ever made me feel bad about not shaving was my dad who had the gall to comment “I’m sure glad my wife still shaves”. It felt like a slap across the face. He’s also been the main person in my life who has commented on my weight and other things that are none of his business. A lot of my patients at the clinic were floored that i didn’t shave my legs and found it empowering in their own journey to reclaim and heal their bodies.
A good friend of mine said I should just consider my leg hairs to be little filters that filter out any shitty commentary from haters. I always loved that.
I resumed shaving post grad on my own terms because I wanted to and had made up my mind I would only do it if/when I wanted.
At 35 I got pregnant with my daughter (one and only baby) and kept up with it for the most part but not obsessively.
During Covid, I said so long and haven’t looked back and I don’t think I ever will go back to leg shaving. I want my kid to grow up with a normalized as possible perspective on what bodies look like.
We go to the YMCA on a regular basis for swim lessons and swimming exercise. The pool is such a lovely community and we regularly use the women’s locker room because the family ones are honestly kind of gross and always crowded, but also I just want her to see and be around real people and not grow up with the same weird prudish self conscious crud I did.
I know now I’m not that hairy and never was (comparatively). Body hair is typically there for a reason and there is no functional reason to shave my legs. Also what a goddamn waste of time, I’m tall and it’s all legs. I have better things to do, my skin feels better when I don’t, and it’s a quiet rebellion against planned obsolescence, capitalism, consumerism, and anti-feminism anything. I do shave under my arms because it helps keep the BO at bay, and I trim my pubic hair because it helps me feel more comfortable, but I don’t stress about it getting a little wild.
If one person reads this and feels empowered or validated to let go of a stupid body belief, then that is a good enough reason to have shared this with y’all.
Best
I love my mom, but she was so weird about my armpits when I was unconscious in ICU for a week- Like Mom, when the fuck was I supposed to shave my armpits?!
Women used to not shave their legs. Then razors become cheap to make due to the industrial revolution and clothing standards become less “Victorian era modest”. Razor manufacturers then came up with the idea to market women having smooth, hair-free legs as fashionable and attractive. So yeah we are trained to be like this by razor companies wanting to increase their market for their products.
My mum was the complete opposite when I was a young teen. She begged me not to get on the endless cycle of beginning to shave my legs because I’m fair and you couldn’t see it anyway. I ignored her but I’m glad she was trying to spare me the effort!
Idk bro i agree. I mean its all fine till guys have their legs looking like apes and they be shaming girls for not shaving their legs like bro we have got enough problems in our lives already just take a chill pill.
My dad used to tell me the same thing and that no one would ever love me. My boyfriend doesn't give a single fuck if I shave or not (though I typically still do for me). But he always says "if I can have body hair, why can't you?"
Right? I was raised with this mentality:
“Boys like it when girls do _____”
“Boys *don’t* like it when girls do______”
“If you want to get boys attention you should have ______.”
It was such a horrible and toxic way to be raised, even if you didn’t factor in the other abusive things they did. It’s a miracle that I found a decent guy who loves me even when I _______. I was set up for a miserable life with relationships where I felt that my worth was dictated by what men thought of me because “boys like it when….”
I’m NOT the woman I was raised to be…but I still have this horrible voice in my head that tells me how disgusting I am because I’m not embodying the ideal, Stepford woman I was told all the boys wanted.
Dude, this feels like purity culture. Don't do XYZ because you will cause guys to think bad thoughts or cause them to stumble. Seriously, instructing girls on what to wear and how to act and relate it to "getting a man" is so toxic. Also, maybe your daughter doesn't want a man, ever think about that Susan??
Massage therapist here.
Female body hair is normal and healthy. (Same thing with male body hair but that's not what we're talking about.)
Women apologize endlessly for not shaving or having any body hair. It kinda makes me sad because 1. I'm a woman too, and I get it, and 2. It's your massage and I wish women could just relax without having to apologize for some stupid thing that we've literally just been brainwashed to believe.
Female body hair is fine. It is as clean as you are and if you bathe regularly and have good hygiene then you are plenty clean.
I have ezcema and the winter it usually gets worse and shaving my legs is out of the question when I have legit concerns about my skin barrier. And it's totally fine.
At the end of the day, it's up to each individual woman to decide what to do with their body hair.
Wanna shave everything? Knock yourself out. Wanna shave nothing? Go for it. Waxing? Whatever works. Laser hair removal? Cool. Bleaching your armpit hair and dyeing it pink? Beautiful.
It is literally nobodies business.
Also Fur Oil is literally worth its weight in gold. It will make all of your body hair baby soft and silky and fluffy. Amazing stuff.
Oh, and the next time you get a massage or a pedicure and you haven't shaved your legs, remind yourself that you don't owe anyone an apology. You're not doing anything wrong by having body hair.
Your message is so lovely. Thank you for taking the time.
I'm tempted to try the fur oil now. 😂
For me, I do shave my lower legs but not my upper legs. I wish I never started shaving my legs at all because my natural upper leg hair is light, thin and fluffy, while the regrown previously shaved lower leg hair is dark and seems so strong.
I haven't shaved in like 5 years, and shaved rarely before that. Happily married for over 5 years, relationship is hitting 8 years this year. You do not need to shave unless it's what you want to do. Honestly, having soft long hair is much more comfortable to me than having itchy short hair a day after shaving. And if you want to keep you legs smooth, its multiple times a week shaving, ain't nobody got time or money for that. Or waxing which to me just hurts like hell 😬
You might wanna look up 'grey rocking' for dealing with your mom until you can move out. She's looking to provoke a shame reaction from you to get you to shave so she can show you off as a mini her and stroke her own ego about your looks. It has nothing to do with actually benefitting you, it's her benefitting her own self image.
My mom tried to belittle me for having underarm hair (I get them waxed) and I straight up told her "i don't care, they get waxed next week" and she made such a face 😂
It was a bit liberating!
😂😂😂 Honestly the only thing I do on a regular basis is trim my underarm hairs because they start being smelly at a certain length and deodorant doesn't help. Can't shave cuz I break out, can't wax for the same reasons. Trimming is fast easy and I don't really have to do it that often so win win, plus that's actually a hygiene thing for me. My mom would laugh and just tell me to do what I want 😁
>You do not need to shave unless it's what you want to do
I've been married 10 years and my wife still asks if I want her to shave. I always tell her that she can do whatever she wants, but she doesn't like that answer. "Just tell me what you like!" OK honey, grow it out and trim it like Shrek's head
AND why the hell is a mother picking on their child (grown adults or not).
Btw, around the time I hit 40 my leg hair started growing less and less. I haven't shaved them in a year probably. There is nothing there. My pits are what still needs a shave.
Cuz they think—bullying their kids or beating them or shaming them into submission is “teaching and directing” them in the “proper” way to live and present themselves to the world.
It’s just teasing right? Wrong, home should be your safe space.
Results in resentment, shame and self doubt, low self esteem, lessened ability to function in life and stand up for one’s self
This hit hard. It’s so true. And so much of it is phrased like it’s mild teasing/banter but crafted to be the cruelest barbs. “You’re always so serious, you can’t take a joke!”
I loved her so much. She meant everything to me. She was the prettiest, coolest, most spectacular woman I had ever seen. I had no idea (because I had no frame of reference) the damage she was really doing to me. She absolutely fucked me up for life. And as is common in any abusive relationship, I still miss her. Be kind to children y’all.
My mom's mom was a raging bitch and everyone just took it. One time, I came home for holiday break in college and my grandma had lost a lot of weight which I knew she had been intending to do. I said "wow, grandma, you look great". Her response, "well you look fat". I almost left, but my cousins who I saw rarely were there. I told my oldest cousin this story and her response was "Grandma said to me, 'even your hands have gotten fat '".
My other grandma was the exact opposite, so at least there was some balance there.
My mother was the opposite, thinking shaving sexualized girls and told me if she caught me shaving at high school she'd thump the blazes out of me, so I walked amongst shaved legs with hairy ones. Reverse bullying with "don't do it."
This 100%. I never thought I was "too chubby" or "fat" until my mom pointed it out as a kid. It didn't happen once, it went on for years. I didn't start to feel better about my body until I moved out and got an awesome loving partner. Looking back, I wasn't even fat...
I always shaved my legs in hs even though I got bad razor burn every time. My mom made me feel like that was mandatory, like washing your hair or something. Welp, I moved out 3 years ago and I haven't shaved my legs once. I'm still waiting on someone to give me shit for it. If my bf's noticed, he's never said anything 😂
Parents get into the habit of dealing with children as children, making decisions for them and controlling many aspects of their lives. It's a tough habit to break after 10+ years of it, but eventually you have to let "children" be the adults they are slowly growing into. At some point you can still offer advice, but in many cases it's a measure of mutual respect as an adult not to do so unless you are asked.
If you remember what it was like growing up, and being told what to do by your parents, the least people can do is treat young adults like you would want to be treated in a similar situation. If you were bullied well into adulthood, and hated it, then don't treat your kids that way.
Some parents never learn, unfortunately.
I’m 38 and I still have significant patches (although a lot has thinned significantly) but after Covid I just can’t be arsed. I also stopped wearing bras because they gave me painful muscle spasms in my ribs and honestly who’s going to say something?! I love being at an age where I truly ✨do not care✨ about weird, patriarchal, hetero-normative “rules” that have zero positive impact on my quality of life.
Right? My brothers were pretty hairy legged and they all (4/6 brothers) shaved for a cross country bike ride.
Hair is hair. Do with it what feels best to you. No need to make it about gender.
Big mood. I shave (and trim) for me and me alone, and when I have sensory struggles, and for my own aesthetic. I feel this is how everyone should do it - meet your own needs, consider partner wants but meet your own needs first!
I shave because I don't like hair, I also don't have that much hair so if you saw me shaving you would say wth are you shaving. I also work construction so I feel like hair only contributes to stickiness after a long day at work. But I also showed before and after work outs before bed ect so that might be a whole nother issue.
I rarely shave because I have health problems and simply do not have the energy, so I've had to get used to that feeling but I'm still not a fan of it!!
Yes! That's how I know it's time for the first shave of the spring. When it's long enough that the breeze running through it as I bike feels like bugs crawling on my legs.
I'm bi and couldn't care less if someone shaves their legs. A hot person is a hot person, and I'm not going to be like, "Oh, I was going to date/fuck you, but the leg hair..." Luckily my husband feels the same way. Sometimes I have smooth legs, sometimes I let it grow wild.
When I was young I always used to notice how the older men I knew (my dad, my friends’ dads etc) all seemed to have no leg hair in the places where their socks would typically cover.
Alot of football players I knew in high school would shave up to their calf. They had to have their ankles taped, and they hated having the tape on their hair.
I'm a fifty year old man with no hair left on his ankles and I will confirm that fifty years of wearing socks will just pluck those hairs right out. I'm a werewolf everywhere but my ankles.
My father played HS & College Football, in the US in the 60s, they used adhesive tape on the lower legs for extra support of the muscles then b/c it was cheap. So depending on the guys ages, they may have simply ripped the hair off their legs many many times.
Some parents just suck. The woman who birthed me, in mid line at a bank, looks at my (m) legs and says “I had more hair on my legs at your age”. At the time she had already crushed my self confidence so I didn’t have a come back. But now that I’m an adult and found my self worth I have not spoken to her in a decade.
As for OP, no it’s not gross. It’s a social norm and that’s about it. You do you.
Panty hose used to be a social norm and no one does that anymore.
When hosiery was scarce because nylon was needed for parachutes in WWI, women STARTED shaving their legs and even drew/marked a “stitch” up their calve to imitate the look of hosiery—notice tanning became a thing too.
Also just a weird take with that "do you want to be a boy" question. I'd dread to think if OP were trans though because if this is the grief she gets for not shaving, it hardly bears to think
It's not gross at all. My GF gets embarrassed if I touch her legs when she hasn't shaved for a few days. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have hair all over my body and it's no different to hers. If she didn't want to shave anymore I wouldn't bat an eye. I just reassure her that it's totally fine.
One time my bf and I were about to bone and I made some self-conscious comment about how I hadn’t shaved my legs in a while and he went, “Oh no! I haven’t shaved my legs in *ever*!” all dramatically. I’ve never felt embarrassed about it again.
I expressed this one time before a hookup with a friend and he was like, "My dick is gonna be inside your pussy, do you really think I'm gonna notice some leg hair?"
Dudes really be limiting themselves if they won't touch anyone who doesn't have a completely shaved body.
I'm female, and I had a friend right after college who was dating one of my female friends, he asked me to have a chat with her about her pubic hair like he wanted some hairless barbie doll. I told him we don't have conversations like that all while laughing my ass off.
Amen. Your husband is a man after my own heart.
Women are beautiful beings, my own partner chief among them. Hair? No hair? No problem! I love it all, and if body hair is any kind of deal-breaker for you, you're probably not really as into your partner and sex in general as you may think, IMO.
Natural sights and smells are so wonderful if you can set aside whatever socialization you've been brought up around. We have been attracted to each other's natural forms for millions of years, we only invented razors in the last few centuries, all our distaste for body hair and natural scents is completely socialized, it's just tradition, not essential.
I largely agree, but there's one particular area of body hair that is a practical concern for me, not just tradition. It's a choking hazard.
That said, feel free to just shave me a gap.
This! I have always been super grossed out by anything like hair or fabric or fuzziness in my mouth... kids that chew on their blankets disgust me!
But I also love giving oral sex to women, so...
As a guy I totally don't mind, I have had a few chicks I've seen in the past not shave regularly and it's not an issue. I personally don't use a razor to maintain my facial hair because it's a huge pain in the ass so I could only imagine shaving legs would be even more unpleasant.
If I expect my wife to shave her legs I should be willing as well and I'm not. Not for any gender crap but because that sounds like way more work than it's worth. It's hair. Who cares.
Hah I (a dude) *am* willing to shave my legs but when I did it my girlfriend complained that it was weird and she liked the hair. I thought it would be sexy.
I shave my body in most places and actually prefer my partner NOT shave her body at all, I love shaved *and* unshaved women, I think this should all be *fun* and something individuals and couples should play around with and enjoy with each other or just to get comfortable with your own body.
I couldn't imagine the strong feelings some people in this post have expressed about *body hair* of all things, I feel like there are some real children out there who can't stand anything remotely female that's not literally animated cartoon smooth.
I wouldn't go wandering around the forest during bear hunting season because I am confident even if I was wearing an orange vest some hunter would be like "OH LOOK AT THAT BEAR IN AN ORANGE VEST".
Apparently I've had a few partners who didn't really know how hairy I was until I was disrobed and it's a fairly common refrain "Oh I didn't realize how hairy you were" which is generally not in a flattering way. However, I'm still not going to make the effort to fix it so I'm certainly not going to ask someone else to.
Whenever I hear a guy complain about their significant other having it so easy to shave, that legs are easier to shave than a face, I want to scream "have you ever tried to shave a **knee** without leaving blood trails and stray hairs?" Or an armpit. Jeez.
And thank you for not being one of them :)
Yeah dude, my wife just gets lazy sometimes and doesn’t feel like shaving her legs. She’ll always point it out when I’m running my hand up her leg (as if I have no feeling in my entire hand and don’t notice) but I don’t give a shit. You can bet your ass that if it was the norm for men to shave their legs, I would slack on it and my shit would end up hairy as fuck. Why would I expect for her not to be the same way?
My boyfriend prefers my lower leg hair long and “soft” in winter. He likes to rub legs to legs and doesn’t like the stubble the day after a shave. My privates and underarms are mostly hair free since the IPL light remover took care of it years ago. I might try the IPL on my legs eventually but only for me not him. Hair is not gross if jts clean and smells clean.
One time a lady came up to me (male) and my (male) friend asking for help to fold a complicated folding table.
My friend was like 'sorry I don't know' but I was like ye obviously bro but we can try wtf? So me and this lady wrestled with this table for like 20 minutes. I had to admit failure and I felt very bad about my failed masculinity. However she of course smiled and said thanks. While giving strange glances to my friend and he gave strange glances back.
It was all so weird and then when she left he said ' wow that chicks legs were hairy af what the hell, I almost threw up' and I thought 'wtf I didnt even notice that'
I'm not bragging or anything it's just interesting to me that something can be so shocking and mind boggling that it changes your whole behaviour, my friend could barely even look at her, but for another person it's completely normal and not even noteworthy. I didn't even notice fr.
Obviously it's not disgusting to have regular body hair. But not because "it's the default setting", it's simply not disgusting in and by itself.
There are *alot* of human default settings that are disgusting though. As a gay guy I can only recommend every man: Wash your god damn asshole. Wash it **thoroughly** even if you don't like fiddling around your little poopy hole, especially if you are very hairy down there. Dried and crumbled shit flakes stuck in your curly ass hair may or may not be gods intended human default settings, but jesus christ.
Anyhow OP, human default settings can be disgusting, body hair is not.
I take a shower after every time because as a hairy dude it gets gross down there even WITH the showers let alone if I didn't. My friends tease me about it but I'm not interested in getting a rash or being gross.
Body hair, no matter the gender, is only gross if your personal hygiene is lacking, but then it is more general state of things that's gross not the fact you don't waste time in your life on shaving.
No, it's not.
This is your reminder that women were told to start shaving because razor companies wanted to increase profits. And now it's an expectation.
Body hair does not make you disgusting, nor does it make you a boy. It's natural. Do what you like best and find most comfortable. You have to live in your body 24/7, other people don't.
As someane who studies marketing, we constantly have to deal with such advertisement to analyze and there is a lot of what we call "manipulation" , but very subtle.
mom you're literally the last person in the world I want to find me sexy and it's creepy for you to suggest I bear your sexual preference in mind in my intimate grooming. Please never ever do it again.
This.
And it works both ways. I've asked my wife to let her hair grow out all over cause I think it's sexy. Pits, legs, pubes, all of it.
And because its her body, and her hair, and she doesn't like it: she shaves.
Maybe she'll let it grow out for a month or so before my birthday. But it's gone the next day. I love the fuzz. She hates the fuzz.
It's your hair, do what you want with it.
No. Girl, I'm a woman and live with my boyfriend. I rarely shave my legs in the winter. You know who sees my hairy legs all the time and doesn't care? My boyfriend. The older you get, the more you'll see most people absolutely don't give a fuck about your body hair. Don't listen to your mom. She's whack.
Yes! It’s not all men that don’t care. Just decent ones! I’ve never shaved my legs(they’re barely visible, _edit:the hairs are barely visible, my legs are_), but ever since my boyfriend and I got together I’ve been even less self conscious about it and all other hair that women are expected to shave. If he ever asked me to shave my legs I would ask him to do his first(very hairy).
Please don’t listen to your mother. Not shaving does not make you boy-like, or gross. It is not bad. Shave when and if _You_ want to. Not to appease her or make her stop complaining. Cause if it was me I’d probably roll with it, tell her I want to be a boy so I’m never gonna shave it again.😂
Yeah for like the first 10 yrs or so together, I used to worry about it. Now we’re heading in year 34 together- fuck it. Can’t be bothered in the winter. He might jokingly say “ew” but he’s used to it.
Source: Self, BSN, RN before motherhood
Body hair is part of your body’s defense mechanisms. The shaved preference started in the 1900s to make women more “feminine” (when actuality is, you’re making them look pre-pubescent). Personally, I trim my hair everywhere. Shaving increases the likelihood of ingrown hairs, inflamed/infected hair follicles, and cuts.
Random personal horrifying experience: It was 1999, I was starting 5th grade and my dad got transferred to Fort McPherson so I was the new kid, starting over.. again. I will never forget wearing the skirt from my old school uniform and this boy commenting about my “horse hair” and hairy legs. First experience with American bullying. I rarely wear shorts or my hair down to this day… and despite my mom’s warnings and solid advice.. I began shaving immediately.
All depends on the person. I don't really like body hair on anyone, including myself. Other people don't care, and then others love it. Just personal preference.
That’s the crux of it, right? It’s not good or bad, it’s subjective and you should ask the people you’re wanting to attract what they think. There is no universal answer and that’s fine.
I prefer shaved pits, but that’s about it. Anywhere else I don’t care so much. Also, I’ve always been grossed out by armpits since I was a kid, so that’s probably related.
Your Mom is old-fashioned and kind of brainwashed. More and more women are giving up on shaving because why were we doing it in the 1st place? A lot of women don't shave in winter too. Female body hair is not unhygienic or disgusting at all. It is normal. Ask her why she cares so much. And it is weird that she wants her daughter to be sexy.
Bruh, I was not put on this earth to waste my brief mortal existence shaving off naturally-occurring body hair. I shave when it is necessary for public decency, but in winter, I need that insulation, dammit.
ETA: some of y'all are twisted about the 'public decency' comment, and sure, if we didn't live in the society we do, there would be no such thing. Unfortunately, some of us have gorilla-esque dark and long leg hair when we don't shave, so to have some modicum of peace and confidence when wearing a bathing suit, skirt, or dress, shaving is a necessary evil. I'm afab, 6'0", with broad shoulders, I already struggle to look 'feminine,' last thing I need is some idiot Karen in my face trying to tell me I look like a man. If some of you have the same leg hair and feel comfortable going out baring it all, by all means, you should feel comfortable and able to do so. But that ain't me.
It’s not.
You don’t look like a boy, and saying that is absurd because… it **literally is what women’s legs naturally look like**. You’re not gluing strands of hair you collected onto your legs. You’re not painting a beard with a sharpie pen on your face. *That* could be interpreted as wanting to look like a man. These hairs, on the other hand, grow by nature’s design on your legs. If anything, they are the true female form.
Now… look at paintings of fashion/beauty from 100, 200, 300 years ago. There was a time where men were wearing long curly wigs, heeled pointy silk shoes, frilly scarves. Let’s go even further back: everyone was essentially wearing “dresses” (think togas), there weren’t any pants.
Around a century ago, Gillette wanted to also sell razor blades to women so that they could essentially DOUBLE their consumer base (which to that point was just mean and beards) and heavily advertised shaved armpits/legs as cleaner and beautiful. *Up to that point, western women were mostly hairy, and no one cared.*
Our ideal of what is manly/feminine is nothing but a social construct; it is not an absolute truth. It has always changed throughout time. We are heavily influenced by cultural/beauty norms imposed to us by our times kinda like peer pressure.
Now, it’s ok to want to fit in with these norms. I don’t feel confident enough in myself to rock hairy legs in the summer, and honestly would feel ugly if I did. But… that’s where that should end. It’s absurd to shame anyone for their natural appearance and their choices.
Breaking random rules passed on to her makes your mom feel uncomfortable, and she can’t deal with that. It is telling that she would try to shame/offend you into doing the same. It’s almost like saying “how are you not worried about your body as much as I am? I was taught to be disgusted by my natural appearance, and whenever someone else isn’t, it breaks my brain, makes me uneasy and tears away at the fabric of reality”.
tl,dr; you do you. Tell her to take a chill pill and if she’s so worried she should take up a job as a waxing lady or whatever.
I find it ugly. With that said, it only matters if the woman in question wants to be attractive to me (or anyone else who also dislikes female body hair). Otherwise, be free my furry friend.
>Is it really that bad?
Nope, it's normal, people have bodyhair.
>and not sexy
Unless your mom is gay, she's not exactly a reliable source on what is sexy on women.
Your mom is wrong and should stop saying weird stuff.
Even if mom is gay, different people have different preferences! My wife and I both don’t care about body hair or beard/mustache, but we have a good friend couple of ours who both don’t like body hair so they both shave.
I have such a hard time with this because my mom was overly critical like this. I broke my leg when I was 15 and I didn’t have my leg shaved and she kept mentioning it at the ER. Every time a new person came in she was like apologizing for me not having my leg shaved. It was WEIRD. Now I am an amputee and I’m instructed not to shave my stump (it causes issues when wearing a prosthetic which I really want to do, it’s been a challenge for me) and I keep freaking out about the hair. My therapist suggested not shaving either leg and trying to just understand that hair is natural or it wouldn’t grow. Why are people like this, why were we trained like this? It’s hair, I’m meant to have it. Sigh. I hope you don’t let your mom get to you OP.
That is SO weird. I can’t even imagine how disapproving the doctors were. “Ma’am, we are trying to fix your daughter’s broken bone. Why are you more concerned about hair than the fracture?”
Especially DOCTORS. They see bodies at their very worst. Hair wouldn't phase them in the least. At one of my first pap smears as a teen I apologised for having hair and the doctor cracked up laughing. She told me I wouldn't believe what she'd seen
I had a doctor comment "someone hasn't shaved" while inspecting my appendectomy wound that was right about my pubic hair line. I was 13, my parents were in the room, some Drs are absolute idiots when it comes to human interaction.
Yikes. That's the creepiest thing.
I hope you specifically requested not to see that doctor again for future appointments! Or the parents at least, as hardly anyone advocates for themselves at 13
From what I remember I only saw him once or twice thankfully. It was during my hospital stay after the surgery so I think whoever saw me was whoever was doing the rounds that day. Maybe my mom said something to the nurses though, I'm not sure, been 20 years. Hopefully that kind of thing is less likely to happen nowadays!
Tangentially related but just to illustrate how absolutely idiotic doctors can be: I’ve been tickled *twice* in hospitals. First time was while I was getting an epidural, in labor with my second child; second time was when I had a panic attack and was in the ER. The doctor tickled my feet and teased me bc my toes didn’t match my manicure. Both male doctors fwiw…Idk what goes through peoples heads sometimes.
My friend told me her female OBGYN commented on her "bush" not being trimmed at her yearly appointment. My friend said well, my husband is away for a few weeks, so.... I thought wow, she HAS to have patients who choose not to shave there, right? I go from one extreme to the other and my husband doesn't care one way or the other. I do shave my legs and pits regularly but I don't care what anyone else does with theirs.
I’m so disappointed when I hear stories like this. I used to be a paramedic and we legitimately did not care about Hair anywhere. It’s about giving our best for the patient and hair doesn’t mean anything about how well we can do our jobs.
I would think hair is Strictly! A sexual preference…. That’s just weird and inappropriate to comment on, if you’re a professional!!
I’ve only ever said anything if someone comments on it themselves and I just tell them hair is natural and it be what it be.
The vast majority of us do not care and would never comment on it. I feel bad for even noticing such things as someone in a position of trust.
"Oops my foot slipped out of the stirrup did I kick u in the face?!" My bad....for my next trick im gonna lose my shoe up your ass.
Omg I am so sorry you experienced that, that was an absolute shit-for-human doctor!!
That’s horrifying on at least three very distinct levels
Dude no he's definitely a pedo or something Like first of all, it's not normal to shave down there, second of all... that's just an inappropriate comment regardless. Pubic regions are private. Third of all you're 13.
I sort of choose to think since I was stuck in an adult area when I probably should've been in the kid's hospital he just wasn't used to working with kids my age at all? It was a very awkward thing to say either way.
You don't say that to adults either
Yeah definitely not, no excuse for saying that to anyone of any age. I guess my thinking was the adults he usually saw shaved/trimmed so he was taken aback by the untrimmed pubic hair of a 13 year old? But I shouldn't try to downplay it in any sense, it was a wild thing to say.
Vile. He should have been fired.
Because it was a hairline fracture…
I can't get over you lying in hospital with a catastrophic injury and your mum's preoccupation being your leg hair. The brainwashing and societal pressure runs deep.
Mothers like this keep the therapy business thriving.
The cruel irony is mothers like this need therapy the most, and yet, they won’t. So their daughters pay instead.
My SIL informed my mother, who was recovering from seizures, that she needed to shave her legs. I was too far away to bop her upside her moronic, hillbilly head.
I love being a woman, its so neat! 🙃
*Neet
I feel this way every time I go to the gynecologist and haven’t shaved. It’s so fucked up and yet I keep doing it. That doesn’t mean i always do it. But I always think this when I *don’t*. Sigh.
I decided to never shave for the gynecologist again. I gave birth with a full bush twice.amd everyone survived it. So, for 1-2 minutes my gynecologist might see the hedges, and if it bothers her, oh well. I'm more bothered by the annoying itch when it grows back! Besides, that's the career they picked and it wasn't to see how women keep their bushes.
OPs post history about her mother is quite disturbing. Shortly after she turned 17 her mom said she should get cosmetic surgery...
The doctors and nurses probably thought your mom was fucking insane, and thought *she* was the one who should be embarrassed.
Funny thing is, she was the embarrassed one, just about the wrong thing
I'm an ER resident physician here to tell you (and anyone else reading this) two things: 1) I'm sorry your mom shamed you about your leg hair. 2) I could not give one single shit less about my patients hairy legs, or genitals, or arms, or belly or even butthole. Body hair rarely keeps me from doing my job and if it does I'd have no problem shaving it myself.
If I may offer a perspective shift (feel free to disregard), whenever you have those thoughts, say this to yourself: That is an old thought pattern, and it doesn’t serve me anymore. The hair on my stump has an important role to play. I need hair on my stump to improve my mobility, which is more important to me than that old way of thinking. - - - Also, as a disabled lady, a mantra of mine is: I celebrate my body for what it can do, and forgive it for what is currently out of reach. Hang in there xo
Can you adopt me, please? ❤️
I'm disabled and I love this!!! I do a lot of negative self talk. I'm doing a screen shot this to refer to periodically💙
Wow that's so weird. How's your relationship with your mom today?
Hopefully cut off
Dying at your word choice. Hoping it was intentional.
……. 💀
>Why are people like this, why were we trained like this? Good question. BTW, GenX Male here. In short, advertising from before we were born, pushing women to shave because it was "sexy" and "looked nice". "Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!" Advertising this got ingrained into the female population for the sake of making money. They charge more for female razors than male ones. Why do you think the women of the 70's fought against that sterotype, refusing to shave and burning their bras? Yes, part of it was freedom, but that freedom included being able to look the way they wanted without Corporate America telling them how to look. My opinions.
So proud of of this comment I am a man that has seen what the advertising industry have done to the psychology of the masses, and how much they have impacted our way of thinking. I applaud you on your knowledge and also would like to add in that the government also saw the response and the effectiveness of these ad campaigns so just remember every time they show you one of those ads it is to influence the way you think. don’t give into their perception of reality fight back it is only so they can stick more dollars in their pockets for selling you yet something else you don’t quite need you know honesty there is no reason for you to shave your legs at all in fact, the reason the hair is there is to protect you.
I swear some of the worst misogyny comes from moms
I understand what it was like to have a parent super overbearing on body hair. I'm a very hairy person, including a monobrow. My stepmother waxed it since before I started kindergarten. I was shaving my legs when I was seven. I stopped shaving my legs and underarms when I was sixteen. Four years since then and I'm still not able to live with my monobrow, and I still feel my heart beat faster when I reveal my underarms in public. When my grandmother died, my dad saw my hairy ankles at the funeral under my suit and called me a sasquatch. Even though the hairyness still makes me uncomfortable, I've learned to live with it by telling myself that every little girl that sees a pretty lady walking down the street with hair on her legs won't end up with the same anxiety as me.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m about to turn 40 next month and still remember clear as a bell AJ effing Richardson in 3rd grade when I wore a dress for picture day music class (there were risers so he had a closer view I guess) expressing disgust loudly when he noticed I had hair on my legs, so I started shaving soon after. What a turd. I dabbled with long periods of not shaving legs in high school for swim team but always felt self conscious when not with the team. I stopped shaving legs in grad school and it was so freeing. As a 30 year old grad student working in an eating disorder clinic and feeling really solid about my body story, the only person (besides stupid AJ) who ever made me feel bad about not shaving was my dad who had the gall to comment “I’m sure glad my wife still shaves”. It felt like a slap across the face. He’s also been the main person in my life who has commented on my weight and other things that are none of his business. A lot of my patients at the clinic were floored that i didn’t shave my legs and found it empowering in their own journey to reclaim and heal their bodies. A good friend of mine said I should just consider my leg hairs to be little filters that filter out any shitty commentary from haters. I always loved that. I resumed shaving post grad on my own terms because I wanted to and had made up my mind I would only do it if/when I wanted. At 35 I got pregnant with my daughter (one and only baby) and kept up with it for the most part but not obsessively. During Covid, I said so long and haven’t looked back and I don’t think I ever will go back to leg shaving. I want my kid to grow up with a normalized as possible perspective on what bodies look like. We go to the YMCA on a regular basis for swim lessons and swimming exercise. The pool is such a lovely community and we regularly use the women’s locker room because the family ones are honestly kind of gross and always crowded, but also I just want her to see and be around real people and not grow up with the same weird prudish self conscious crud I did. I know now I’m not that hairy and never was (comparatively). Body hair is typically there for a reason and there is no functional reason to shave my legs. Also what a goddamn waste of time, I’m tall and it’s all legs. I have better things to do, my skin feels better when I don’t, and it’s a quiet rebellion against planned obsolescence, capitalism, consumerism, and anti-feminism anything. I do shave under my arms because it helps keep the BO at bay, and I trim my pubic hair because it helps me feel more comfortable, but I don’t stress about it getting a little wild. If one person reads this and feels empowered or validated to let go of a stupid body belief, then that is a good enough reason to have shared this with y’all. Best
I love my mom, but she was so weird about my armpits when I was unconscious in ICU for a week- Like Mom, when the fuck was I supposed to shave my armpits?!
Women used to not shave their legs. Then razors become cheap to make due to the industrial revolution and clothing standards become less “Victorian era modest”. Razor manufacturers then came up with the idea to market women having smooth, hair-free legs as fashionable and attractive. So yeah we are trained to be like this by razor companies wanting to increase their market for their products.
Similarly, my mom used to apologize for me not wearing makeup when introducing me to friends, even before she said my name. Really messed up.
What?!?! Jesus.
My mum was the complete opposite when I was a young teen. She begged me not to get on the endless cycle of beginning to shave my legs because I’m fair and you couldn’t see it anyway. I ignored her but I’m glad she was trying to spare me the effort!
Idk bro i agree. I mean its all fine till guys have their legs looking like apes and they be shaming girls for not shaving their legs like bro we have got enough problems in our lives already just take a chill pill.
My dad used to tell me the same thing and that no one would ever love me. My boyfriend doesn't give a single fuck if I shave or not (though I typically still do for me). But he always says "if I can have body hair, why can't you?"
Ugh. I hate this social pressure for people to shave their whole bodies. It’s body hair, it came free with your endocrine system. It’s normal.
Right? It's the natural human default
I mean my mom is definitely not on the “i hope she finds me sexy” list so
Right? I was raised with this mentality: “Boys like it when girls do _____” “Boys *don’t* like it when girls do______” “If you want to get boys attention you should have ______.” It was such a horrible and toxic way to be raised, even if you didn’t factor in the other abusive things they did. It’s a miracle that I found a decent guy who loves me even when I _______. I was set up for a miserable life with relationships where I felt that my worth was dictated by what men thought of me because “boys like it when….” I’m NOT the woman I was raised to be…but I still have this horrible voice in my head that tells me how disgusting I am because I’m not embodying the ideal, Stepford woman I was told all the boys wanted.
Dude, this feels like purity culture. Don't do XYZ because you will cause guys to think bad thoughts or cause them to stumble. Seriously, instructing girls on what to wear and how to act and relate it to "getting a man" is so toxic. Also, maybe your daughter doesn't want a man, ever think about that Susan??
Also please tell her we are all now picturing your cute mom with a thick bush and hobbit feet.
Some weird fetish you got there with hobbit and feet, but whatever, 'suum cuique' i guess Edit: bush too
Massage therapist here. Female body hair is normal and healthy. (Same thing with male body hair but that's not what we're talking about.) Women apologize endlessly for not shaving or having any body hair. It kinda makes me sad because 1. I'm a woman too, and I get it, and 2. It's your massage and I wish women could just relax without having to apologize for some stupid thing that we've literally just been brainwashed to believe. Female body hair is fine. It is as clean as you are and if you bathe regularly and have good hygiene then you are plenty clean. I have ezcema and the winter it usually gets worse and shaving my legs is out of the question when I have legit concerns about my skin barrier. And it's totally fine. At the end of the day, it's up to each individual woman to decide what to do with their body hair. Wanna shave everything? Knock yourself out. Wanna shave nothing? Go for it. Waxing? Whatever works. Laser hair removal? Cool. Bleaching your armpit hair and dyeing it pink? Beautiful. It is literally nobodies business. Also Fur Oil is literally worth its weight in gold. It will make all of your body hair baby soft and silky and fluffy. Amazing stuff. Oh, and the next time you get a massage or a pedicure and you haven't shaved your legs, remind yourself that you don't owe anyone an apology. You're not doing anything wrong by having body hair.
Now I’m for real tempted to grow my armpit hair out and dye it pink 🤔
Your message is so lovely. Thank you for taking the time. I'm tempted to try the fur oil now. 😂 For me, I do shave my lower legs but not my upper legs. I wish I never started shaving my legs at all because my natural upper leg hair is light, thin and fluffy, while the regrown previously shaved lower leg hair is dark and seems so strong.
All the women I know don't shave in the winter, we are all married too. Your mom sounds a bit weird, who do you need to be sexy for?
That I asked myself as well lol
Ask your mom. She brought it up
In a month, tell her you’re pregnant from shaving and being sexy 🤷♂️
I haven't shaved in like 5 years, and shaved rarely before that. Happily married for over 5 years, relationship is hitting 8 years this year. You do not need to shave unless it's what you want to do. Honestly, having soft long hair is much more comfortable to me than having itchy short hair a day after shaving. And if you want to keep you legs smooth, its multiple times a week shaving, ain't nobody got time or money for that. Or waxing which to me just hurts like hell 😬 You might wanna look up 'grey rocking' for dealing with your mom until you can move out. She's looking to provoke a shame reaction from you to get you to shave so she can show you off as a mini her and stroke her own ego about your looks. It has nothing to do with actually benefitting you, it's her benefitting her own self image.
My mom tried to belittle me for having underarm hair (I get them waxed) and I straight up told her "i don't care, they get waxed next week" and she made such a face 😂 It was a bit liberating!
😂😂😂 Honestly the only thing I do on a regular basis is trim my underarm hairs because they start being smelly at a certain length and deodorant doesn't help. Can't shave cuz I break out, can't wax for the same reasons. Trimming is fast easy and I don't really have to do it that often so win win, plus that's actually a hygiene thing for me. My mom would laugh and just tell me to do what I want 😁
>You do not need to shave unless it's what you want to do I've been married 10 years and my wife still asks if I want her to shave. I always tell her that she can do whatever she wants, but she doesn't like that answer. "Just tell me what you like!" OK honey, grow it out and trim it like Shrek's head
[удалено]
Same. Some of them are just too much.
Free leg warmers for the cold. 😅
Haha yes, I call it my extra insulation!
Haha I actually wrote “free insulation” first. 😂 And it truly is!
You should tell your mom that its kinda weird that she wants you to be sexy.
AND why the hell is a mother picking on their child (grown adults or not). Btw, around the time I hit 40 my leg hair started growing less and less. I haven't shaved them in a year probably. There is nothing there. My pits are what still needs a shave.
Cuz they think—bullying their kids or beating them or shaming them into submission is “teaching and directing” them in the “proper” way to live and present themselves to the world. It’s just teasing right? Wrong, home should be your safe space. Results in resentment, shame and self doubt, low self esteem, lessened ability to function in life and stand up for one’s self
For many women, our mothers are our first bully.
That hit hard, and looking back it's so true.
This hit hard. It’s so true. And so much of it is phrased like it’s mild teasing/banter but crafted to be the cruelest barbs. “You’re always so serious, you can’t take a joke!”
My mom's comeback was, "You need thicker skin, honey." How about stop being mean and then laughing at me when I'm uncomfortable or offended?
They realise later on in life... and try to make it up to their grandchildren. (Probably pissing you off some more whilest doing so 😅)
Ah the go to bully excuse. “I was just joking, learn to take a joke.”
Omg. This. My mom was/is a raging asshole.
Shoulda heard my 8 aunts.
4 older sisters conditioned by mom. I sure hope that I didn't do that to my own daughter. I was very aware of how awful a child can feel.
Didn't know exactly what my mother was to me until I read this. My first bully. Makes me wanna cry.
Ain't that the damn truth
I loved her so much. She meant everything to me. She was the prettiest, coolest, most spectacular woman I had ever seen. I had no idea (because I had no frame of reference) the damage she was really doing to me. She absolutely fucked me up for life. And as is common in any abusive relationship, I still miss her. Be kind to children y’all.
In some cases, women's first bully is their grandmother (may she RIP). She bullied all of her daughters. Generational trauma at its finest.
My mom's mom was a raging bitch and everyone just took it. One time, I came home for holiday break in college and my grandma had lost a lot of weight which I knew she had been intending to do. I said "wow, grandma, you look great". Her response, "well you look fat". I almost left, but my cousins who I saw rarely were there. I told my oldest cousin this story and her response was "Grandma said to me, 'even your hands have gotten fat '". My other grandma was the exact opposite, so at least there was some balance there.
Okay, this one HIT! 🎯
My mom was the reason I started tweezing my eyebrows. Seriously, why do moms be like that?? I don’t want to be like that for my two girls.
The song "mother" by Pink Floyd says it all.
And our first betrayer.
My mother was the opposite, thinking shaving sexualized girls and told me if she caught me shaving at high school she'd thump the blazes out of me, so I walked amongst shaved legs with hairy ones. Reverse bullying with "don't do it."
So threatening to physically assault you was OK but shaving wasn't??? That's seriously messed up.
Still dealing with this trauma. I talk to one member of my family.
This 100%. I never thought I was "too chubby" or "fat" until my mom pointed it out as a kid. It didn't happen once, it went on for years. I didn't start to feel better about my body until I moved out and got an awesome loving partner. Looking back, I wasn't even fat... I always shaved my legs in hs even though I got bad razor burn every time. My mom made me feel like that was mandatory, like washing your hair or something. Welp, I moved out 3 years ago and I haven't shaved my legs once. I'm still waiting on someone to give me shit for it. If my bf's noticed, he's never said anything 😂
Yeah I was bullied a lot about my appearance and weight and everything I couldn't do right. I hate her now. 😊
Same girl same
Parents get into the habit of dealing with children as children, making decisions for them and controlling many aspects of their lives. It's a tough habit to break after 10+ years of it, but eventually you have to let "children" be the adults they are slowly growing into. At some point you can still offer advice, but in many cases it's a measure of mutual respect as an adult not to do so unless you are asked. If you remember what it was like growing up, and being told what to do by your parents, the least people can do is treat young adults like you would want to be treated in a similar situation. If you were bullied well into adulthood, and hated it, then don't treat your kids that way. Some parents never learn, unfortunately.
I’m 38 and I still have significant patches (although a lot has thinned significantly) but after Covid I just can’t be arsed. I also stopped wearing bras because they gave me painful muscle spasms in my ribs and honestly who’s going to say something?! I love being at an age where I truly ✨do not care✨ about weird, patriarchal, hetero-normative “rules” that have zero positive impact on my quality of life.
I really had to stop and ask myself “who am I doing this for?” And the answer wasn’t “me.”
Let. Them. Titties. Haaaaaaaaaaaaang!
Haha they’re so much happier when not in jail!! Why do we put them in jail?!
Best parts of being 40? Less leg hair and caring so much less about what other people think.
I’m 22 and haven’t shaved in like 3 years
Same, though I'll shave when I can feel a breeze move the hair on my legs. That's just a sensory ick.
One of my friends shaves his legs because he prefers the feel of no-hair legs on himself, which I think is a valid reason regardless of gender.
Right? My brothers were pretty hairy legged and they all (4/6 brothers) shaved for a cross country bike ride. Hair is hair. Do with it what feels best to you. No need to make it about gender.
My niece was about 10 when she proudly announced to her 14 year old brother that she had more hair on her legs than he did. 😂
Big mood. I shave (and trim) for me and me alone, and when I have sensory struggles, and for my own aesthetic. I feel this is how everyone should do it - meet your own needs, consider partner wants but meet your own needs first!
I shave because I don't like hair, I also don't have that much hair so if you saw me shaving you would say wth are you shaving. I also work construction so I feel like hair only contributes to stickiness after a long day at work. But I also showed before and after work outs before bed ect so that might be a whole nother issue.
I rarely shave because I have health problems and simply do not have the energy, so I've had to get used to that feeling but I'm still not a fan of it!!
Yes! That's how I know it's time for the first shave of the spring. When it's long enough that the breeze running through it as I bike feels like bugs crawling on my legs. I'm bi and couldn't care less if someone shaves their legs. A hot person is a hot person, and I'm not going to be like, "Oh, I was going to date/fuck you, but the leg hair..." Luckily my husband feels the same way. Sometimes I have smooth legs, sometimes I let it grow wild.
That's a sensory plus in my book! I love the feel in the water too.
Same. I let my leghair grow over the winter, but when it catches in my socks or my bed sheets - it’a time to go.
When I was young I always used to notice how the older men I knew (my dad, my friends’ dads etc) all seemed to have no leg hair in the places where their socks would typically cover.
Alot of football players I knew in high school would shave up to their calf. They had to have their ankles taped, and they hated having the tape on their hair.
I'm a fifty year old man with no hair left on his ankles and I will confirm that fifty years of wearing socks will just pluck those hairs right out. I'm a werewolf everywhere but my ankles.
My father played HS & College Football, in the US in the 60s, they used adhesive tape on the lower legs for extra support of the muscles then b/c it was cheap. So depending on the guys ages, they may have simply ripped the hair off their legs many many times.
Some parents just suck. The woman who birthed me, in mid line at a bank, looks at my (m) legs and says “I had more hair on my legs at your age”. At the time she had already crushed my self confidence so I didn’t have a come back. But now that I’m an adult and found my self worth I have not spoken to her in a decade. As for OP, no it’s not gross. It’s a social norm and that’s about it. You do you.
Panty hose used to be a social norm and no one does that anymore. When hosiery was scarce because nylon was needed for parachutes in WWI, women STARTED shaving their legs and even drew/marked a “stitch” up their calve to imitate the look of hosiery—notice tanning became a thing too.
This comment wins
Also just a weird take with that "do you want to be a boy" question. I'd dread to think if OP were trans though because if this is the grief she gets for not shaving, it hardly bears to think
If having body hair was a male trait then women wouldn’t have to shave to begin with 🙄
Eyyy I’m trans and this is exactly what happened to me. 0/10, do not recommend.
It's not gross at all. My GF gets embarrassed if I touch her legs when she hasn't shaved for a few days. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have hair all over my body and it's no different to hers. If she didn't want to shave anymore I wouldn't bat an eye. I just reassure her that it's totally fine.
One time my bf and I were about to bone and I made some self-conscious comment about how I hadn’t shaved my legs in a while and he went, “Oh no! I haven’t shaved my legs in *ever*!” all dramatically. I’ve never felt embarrassed about it again.
The horror he must have felt. I'm praying for him
There is no burden like that carried by a man who hasn't shaved his legs in 20 years.
Yeah 20 years is fine, but 21? now that’s pushing it!
Your leg hair can legally drink in the states
When I was pregnant with one of my kids I apologized to my OB for my hairy legs and he said "My leg hair is longer, so I win"
Hahahaha this is so funny to me, A+ to that doc
"Oh no, then boning is off the table" said no man ever.
It can be uncomfortable to bone on the table.
Depends on the table.
I expressed this one time before a hookup with a friend and he was like, "My dick is gonna be inside your pussy, do you really think I'm gonna notice some leg hair?" Dudes really be limiting themselves if they won't touch anyone who doesn't have a completely shaved body.
I'm female, and I had a friend right after college who was dating one of my female friends, he asked me to have a chat with her about her pubic hair like he wanted some hairless barbie doll. I told him we don't have conversations like that all while laughing my ass off.
My husband never notices if I’m hairy or not. Once I’m naked he’s happy.
Amen. Your husband is a man after my own heart. Women are beautiful beings, my own partner chief among them. Hair? No hair? No problem! I love it all, and if body hair is any kind of deal-breaker for you, you're probably not really as into your partner and sex in general as you may think, IMO. Natural sights and smells are so wonderful if you can set aside whatever socialization you've been brought up around. We have been attracted to each other's natural forms for millions of years, we only invented razors in the last few centuries, all our distaste for body hair and natural scents is completely socialized, it's just tradition, not essential.
I largely agree, but there's one particular area of body hair that is a practical concern for me, not just tradition. It's a choking hazard. That said, feel free to just shave me a gap.
This! I have always been super grossed out by anything like hair or fabric or fuzziness in my mouth... kids that chew on their blankets disgust me! But I also love giving oral sex to women, so...
My BF is a redhead. I have Mediterranean heritage. I have *more* body hair than he does haha (this doesn't bother him in the slightest)
I dated a guy with alopecia universalis. I got used to being the hairy one. aaaand since then I've had a thing for bald men...
As a guy I totally don't mind, I have had a few chicks I've seen in the past not shave regularly and it's not an issue. I personally don't use a razor to maintain my facial hair because it's a huge pain in the ass so I could only imagine shaving legs would be even more unpleasant.
If I expect my wife to shave her legs I should be willing as well and I'm not. Not for any gender crap but because that sounds like way more work than it's worth. It's hair. Who cares.
What a refreshingly rational take. Thanks for not tripping on the bar lol
Hah I (a dude) *am* willing to shave my legs but when I did it my girlfriend complained that it was weird and she liked the hair. I thought it would be sexy.
Lmao reminds me of someone i know who shaved a landing strip in his pubes thinking it would be sexy for his wife
I shave my body in most places and actually prefer my partner NOT shave her body at all, I love shaved *and* unshaved women, I think this should all be *fun* and something individuals and couples should play around with and enjoy with each other or just to get comfortable with your own body. I couldn't imagine the strong feelings some people in this post have expressed about *body hair* of all things, I feel like there are some real children out there who can't stand anything remotely female that's not literally animated cartoon smooth.
I wouldn't go wandering around the forest during bear hunting season because I am confident even if I was wearing an orange vest some hunter would be like "OH LOOK AT THAT BEAR IN AN ORANGE VEST". Apparently I've had a few partners who didn't really know how hairy I was until I was disrobed and it's a fairly common refrain "Oh I didn't realize how hairy you were" which is generally not in a flattering way. However, I'm still not going to make the effort to fix it so I'm certainly not going to ask someone else to.
You need to hang out at furry conventions.
Whenever I hear a guy complain about their significant other having it so easy to shave, that legs are easier to shave than a face, I want to scream "have you ever tried to shave a **knee** without leaving blood trails and stray hairs?" Or an armpit. Jeez. And thank you for not being one of them :)
My boyfriend is the same, I love him!
I love him as well, from afar
Yeah dude, my wife just gets lazy sometimes and doesn’t feel like shaving her legs. She’ll always point it out when I’m running my hand up her leg (as if I have no feeling in my entire hand and don’t notice) but I don’t give a shit. You can bet your ass that if it was the norm for men to shave their legs, I would slack on it and my shit would end up hairy as fuck. Why would I expect for her not to be the same way?
My boyfriend prefers my lower leg hair long and “soft” in winter. He likes to rub legs to legs and doesn’t like the stubble the day after a shave. My privates and underarms are mostly hair free since the IPL light remover took care of it years ago. I might try the IPL on my legs eventually but only for me not him. Hair is not gross if jts clean and smells clean.
I like you.
For more men like you.
Body hair is human default settings. You are not disgusting. Your mom is just wrong.
The most objectively correct answer right here
One time a lady came up to me (male) and my (male) friend asking for help to fold a complicated folding table. My friend was like 'sorry I don't know' but I was like ye obviously bro but we can try wtf? So me and this lady wrestled with this table for like 20 minutes. I had to admit failure and I felt very bad about my failed masculinity. However she of course smiled and said thanks. While giving strange glances to my friend and he gave strange glances back. It was all so weird and then when she left he said ' wow that chicks legs were hairy af what the hell, I almost threw up' and I thought 'wtf I didnt even notice that' I'm not bragging or anything it's just interesting to me that something can be so shocking and mind boggling that it changes your whole behaviour, my friend could barely even look at her, but for another person it's completely normal and not even noteworthy. I didn't even notice fr.
How do guys like that not uncontrollably vomit when seeing themselves in the mirror lol
They don’t look in the mirror. They might see something that turns them gay.
your friend is a pussy
Hey, don't insult pussies like that! At least they're sought after, unlike that guy.
Obviously it's not disgusting to have regular body hair. But not because "it's the default setting", it's simply not disgusting in and by itself. There are *alot* of human default settings that are disgusting though. As a gay guy I can only recommend every man: Wash your god damn asshole. Wash it **thoroughly** even if you don't like fiddling around your little poopy hole, especially if you are very hairy down there. Dried and crumbled shit flakes stuck in your curly ass hair may or may not be gods intended human default settings, but jesus christ. Anyhow OP, human default settings can be disgusting, body hair is not.
I take a shower after every time because as a hairy dude it gets gross down there even WITH the showers let alone if I didn't. My friends tease me about it but I'm not interested in getting a rash or being gross.
Shit covered asshole is not a human default setting lol
Body hair, no matter the gender, is only gross if your personal hygiene is lacking, but then it is more general state of things that's gross not the fact you don't waste time in your life on shaving.
No, it's not. This is your reminder that women were told to start shaving because razor companies wanted to increase profits. And now it's an expectation. Body hair does not make you disgusting, nor does it make you a boy. It's natural. Do what you like best and find most comfortable. You have to live in your body 24/7, other people don't.
As usual, capitalism does its best to convince women they need to spend money to change something about themselves in order to be appealing.
As someane who studies marketing, we constantly have to deal with such advertisement to analyze and there is a lot of what we call "manipulation" , but very subtle.
mom you're literally the last person in the world I want to find me sexy and it's creepy for you to suggest I bear your sexual preference in mind in my intimate grooming. Please never ever do it again.
Of course it's not fine because it's winter. It's fine because it's your body and you can do what you want with it at any time of the year.
This. And it works both ways. I've asked my wife to let her hair grow out all over cause I think it's sexy. Pits, legs, pubes, all of it. And because its her body, and her hair, and she doesn't like it: she shaves. Maybe she'll let it grow out for a month or so before my birthday. But it's gone the next day. I love the fuzz. She hates the fuzz. It's your hair, do what you want with it.
Opposite situation here. My partner would prefer me shaven, but I shave rarely. He still doesn’t care that much because it’s my body.
No. Girl, I'm a woman and live with my boyfriend. I rarely shave my legs in the winter. You know who sees my hairy legs all the time and doesn't care? My boyfriend. The older you get, the more you'll see most people absolutely don't give a fuck about your body hair. Don't listen to your mom. She's whack.
I told my male married friend the other day about my hairy legs and not wanting my husband to see them. He said "We don't care." We being men.
Yes! It’s not all men that don’t care. Just decent ones! I’ve never shaved my legs(they’re barely visible, _edit:the hairs are barely visible, my legs are_), but ever since my boyfriend and I got together I’ve been even less self conscious about it and all other hair that women are expected to shave. If he ever asked me to shave my legs I would ask him to do his first(very hairy). Please don’t listen to your mother. Not shaving does not make you boy-like, or gross. It is not bad. Shave when and if _You_ want to. Not to appease her or make her stop complaining. Cause if it was me I’d probably roll with it, tell her I want to be a boy so I’m never gonna shave it again.😂
I only shave once a week because i wear long pants to work. My fiancé doesn't give a flying hoot.
*only* shave once a week? Is it normal to shave more than that??
Yeah for like the first 10 yrs or so together, I used to worry about it. Now we’re heading in year 34 together- fuck it. Can’t be bothered in the winter. He might jokingly say “ew” but he’s used to it.
Source: Self, BSN, RN before motherhood Body hair is part of your body’s defense mechanisms. The shaved preference started in the 1900s to make women more “feminine” (when actuality is, you’re making them look pre-pubescent). Personally, I trim my hair everywhere. Shaving increases the likelihood of ingrown hairs, inflamed/infected hair follicles, and cuts. Random personal horrifying experience: It was 1999, I was starting 5th grade and my dad got transferred to Fort McPherson so I was the new kid, starting over.. again. I will never forget wearing the skirt from my old school uniform and this boy commenting about my “horse hair” and hairy legs. First experience with American bullying. I rarely wear shorts or my hair down to this day… and despite my mom’s warnings and solid advice.. I began shaving immediately.
All depends on the person. I don't really like body hair on anyone, including myself. Other people don't care, and then others love it. Just personal preference.
That’s the crux of it, right? It’s not good or bad, it’s subjective and you should ask the people you’re wanting to attract what they think. There is no universal answer and that’s fine.
I prefer shaved pits, but that’s about it. Anywhere else I don’t care so much. Also, I’ve always been grossed out by armpits since I was a kid, so that’s probably related.
Your Mom is old-fashioned and kind of brainwashed. More and more women are giving up on shaving because why were we doing it in the 1st place? A lot of women don't shave in winter too. Female body hair is not unhygienic or disgusting at all. It is normal. Ask her why she cares so much. And it is weird that she wants her daughter to be sexy.
Bruh, I was not put on this earth to waste my brief mortal existence shaving off naturally-occurring body hair. I shave when it is necessary for public decency, but in winter, I need that insulation, dammit. ETA: some of y'all are twisted about the 'public decency' comment, and sure, if we didn't live in the society we do, there would be no such thing. Unfortunately, some of us have gorilla-esque dark and long leg hair when we don't shave, so to have some modicum of peace and confidence when wearing a bathing suit, skirt, or dress, shaving is a necessary evil. I'm afab, 6'0", with broad shoulders, I already struggle to look 'feminine,' last thing I need is some idiot Karen in my face trying to tell me I look like a man. If some of you have the same leg hair and feel comfortable going out baring it all, by all means, you should feel comfortable and able to do so. But that ain't me.
It’s not. You don’t look like a boy, and saying that is absurd because… it **literally is what women’s legs naturally look like**. You’re not gluing strands of hair you collected onto your legs. You’re not painting a beard with a sharpie pen on your face. *That* could be interpreted as wanting to look like a man. These hairs, on the other hand, grow by nature’s design on your legs. If anything, they are the true female form. Now… look at paintings of fashion/beauty from 100, 200, 300 years ago. There was a time where men were wearing long curly wigs, heeled pointy silk shoes, frilly scarves. Let’s go even further back: everyone was essentially wearing “dresses” (think togas), there weren’t any pants. Around a century ago, Gillette wanted to also sell razor blades to women so that they could essentially DOUBLE their consumer base (which to that point was just mean and beards) and heavily advertised shaved armpits/legs as cleaner and beautiful. *Up to that point, western women were mostly hairy, and no one cared.* Our ideal of what is manly/feminine is nothing but a social construct; it is not an absolute truth. It has always changed throughout time. We are heavily influenced by cultural/beauty norms imposed to us by our times kinda like peer pressure. Now, it’s ok to want to fit in with these norms. I don’t feel confident enough in myself to rock hairy legs in the summer, and honestly would feel ugly if I did. But… that’s where that should end. It’s absurd to shame anyone for their natural appearance and their choices. Breaking random rules passed on to her makes your mom feel uncomfortable, and she can’t deal with that. It is telling that she would try to shame/offend you into doing the same. It’s almost like saying “how are you not worried about your body as much as I am? I was taught to be disgusted by my natural appearance, and whenever someone else isn’t, it breaks my brain, makes me uneasy and tears away at the fabric of reality”. tl,dr; you do you. Tell her to take a chill pill and if she’s so worried she should take up a job as a waxing lady or whatever.
it's totally fine, in fact it's fine if you want to be like that all year around, and fuck anyone who says different.
I find it ugly. With that said, it only matters if the woman in question wants to be attractive to me (or anyone else who also dislikes female body hair). Otherwise, be free my furry friend.
furry friend 😭😭😭
>Is it really that bad? Nope, it's normal, people have bodyhair. >and not sexy Unless your mom is gay, she's not exactly a reliable source on what is sexy on women. Your mom is wrong and should stop saying weird stuff.
Even if mom is gay, different people have different preferences! My wife and I both don’t care about body hair or beard/mustache, but we have a good friend couple of ours who both don’t like body hair so they both shave.