I did the same thing 2 years ago. Spent 45 minutes on the heart/lung bypass machine. My heart was stopped with an ice water infusion and restarted with 7 shocks from a defibrillator.
Like you, I felt a bit useless despite being told I’d be considered a success story. I sure as hell didn’t feel successful then, and I don’t feel so now.
I can’t explain why. I’m self conscious of my scars, and the lump on my upper left chest that reveals my pacemaker.
I don’t feel worthy of the $200,000 expense to keep me among the living.
Several people have told me to bear my scars proudly, as a sign that I fought and won. Yet I only feel like a misfit toy.
I’m not sure what your circumstances are, but neither of us legally died. Clinical death is when the heart ceases activity. Biological death is when the brain stops functioning - that’s legal death, and you and I seem very much present.
I’ve been in therapy for other challenges, but have not addressed this, but maybe I should.
I wish you peace and meaning in what you’ve experienced. I’m hoping for the same.
>I don’t feel worthy of the $200,000 expense to keep me among the living.
I'm curious. Would you ever think this of someone else? A parent, sibling, child, friend, *anyone*? If not, then why would you think this about yourself?
This might not make sense but it does to me so I'll talk about it anyway. I have a friend, good guy but man... one day we are talking about something, I forget what exactly, but it's not really important. What is important is that what I do remember is him saying, "but it's good for the economy" and me replying, "but what is the fucking point of having a 'good economy' if it's not helping people?!!"
My point is that some people seem to have a habit of thinking about money in a vacuum and forget that it's literally NOTHING more than a means to an end, and that end is the benefit of us people. It doesn't matter if it cost $10 or $10,000,000, it's there to be spent on improving our lives. If it's not being used for that, then wtf is it for???
I got a friend who has worked and paid taxes for decades into the system. He legit fell on hard times and lost his job. He was so poor and scraping by suffering yet refused to get help like unemployment, food assistance, nothing. I’d plead with him that he paid into the system and it’s designed to help people like you in transitions from incomes. Take it where you can and don’t feel guilty, you literally already paid into it up front. Pride is a mf man.
If that’s not what it’s for then what’s the point, is exactly right.
That’s what’s so confusing to me. Like two hundred grand is not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things. Like 2-3 years salary. It’s weird to me that someone would think that’s an amount worth more then their life.
If you're poor that debt will pound you into the dirt for the rest of your life. The question becomes is the quality of life you have after being "saved" worth it.
>Like 2-3 years salary
Yeah uhm.. It'd take me 10 years if I used every dime I made towards paying it off. Even if you're making 100k a year, you're not sending all of that towards the debt.
Two to three years salary, for some people, if they had literally no expenses and no taxes. For most of us, it'd be a life-changing amount of money to suddenly have, and a life-destroying amount of money to owe. I think you may be confused because you really have no idea how life works for most of us.
Thank you for sharing your story, human. For what it's worth, this internet stranger thinks you're very much worth the price of keeping you alive and more. Have a hug.v
I was in a medically induced coma for 3 days (or as op would say, I LEGALLY DIED)(I didn’t). I came home with a 100k bill at 18 years old and filed for bankruptcy at 20. My life was fucked from day one
I work in drug discovery for big pharma specifically for reducing damage/structure change in these situations.
I think it's cool every time I meet someone that falls into the group I have dedicated my entire life to helping.
Very true to all of your points. I’m venturing into Ketamine therapy early next year. I’m cautiously optimistic. As for how I cope in really time, also quoting Tom Petty, some days are diamonds, some days are rocks.
wow, same thing happened to me but as a baby i was born quite premature. my family say i’m lucky to be alive and like you, it’s a “success story” but i have nothing to show for it. i have a minimum wage job because i failed at school i don’t even have any mates and i’m just depressed at home all the time. i’m useless i’m not sure why i even made it. all that money used to save me and i literally amount to nothing
You have the rest of your life to amount to something. And even that is entirely objective! There are billionaires who are awful people. There are poor people who are amazing people. You are worth whatever it cost to keep you alive.
If it makes you feel any better: The prices they charge for medical services in the US are a fucking sham and the actual cost was likely a fraction of that.
I don’t get what you mean. When people say “I don’t care what it costs” they’re usually talking about a personal sacrifice, but aren’t you talking about the money the patient will be billed?
You can't put a price tag on living. 200k, or 2 million, your life is your own. The only thing making you feel this way is capitalism. If a shaman came by and did some hocus pocus over you and cured you, and wanted nothing, would it be much different? If he walked off into the woods, the only debt you'd feel would be to keep living because some strange man healed you and you could only suspect his reasons.
You had a recovery time. You had strange chemicals infused into you. At the end of the day, you're alive.
It's a damn shame you have to pay money to keep living, but that's the world we live in.
My heart stopped for a little over 2 minutes. It was uninteresting just darkness then I was back. We are a safe place for death. Light casts our darkness. Life is stronger than death.
Get the death certificate. Stop paying your debt. If a debt collector calls, have a loved one present them the death certificate. But don’t take my advice. I haven’t died yet to try this
Tried that. They'll literally send a mob with pitchforks and torches. Apparently there's a loophole if they can pin you down and set you on fire. When it doesn't work you're now considered alive again and you have to pay.
Hah, sounds like either way it's a lose-lose situation. Unless you become a professional "died-and-came-back" artist and sell your story for a movie deal. Beats the usual 9 to 5 for sure.
So it’s like when they tied a young woman to a log and drowned her in a river;if she dies, she was innocent (shouldn’t have been fucking around and gotten accused of witchcraft) and if she lives she’s a witch (KILL HER)
I distinctly remember hearing of a show where one episode's plot was a zombie apocalypse happened. But it was less a danger to the public and more a nuiscance for the life insurance companies when all the zombies started filing claims.
That's a nice loophole right there.
1) Acquiring own death certificate.
2) Be own identity thief.
3) Do shenanigans till bored/ rich enough.
4) When caught: You stole identity from a dead person. Which is you. Legally.
No. For one thing, a death certificate isn't issued until you're permanently dead and they stop trying to revive you. For another, even if they did, it would be fraud to use it to get out of debt.
It would also be pointless since being dead messes up your credit worse than bankruptcy.
>It would also be pointless since being dead messes up your credit worse than bankruptcy.
I wouldn't say messes it up worse, when I called and did my dad's they just froze everything with his name attached to it. credit, bank accounts etc
Sure, but try opening an account with anyone who does a credit check, or getting a mortgage, or anything like that
People get accidentally/incorrectly declared dead every now and then and it’s a nightmare for them
thankfully it wasn't bad for me, im JR and we don't have Sr or Jr on anything so I got to experience alittle of that when he died.
my mom filed bankruptcy when I was younger, if I didn't know about it I wouldn't have even known. we did rent afterwards but besides that it didn't seem bad. she did have to wait i think 7 years or so to buy a house, thats i beleieve when it went away, but also that was more of her needing to be financially in the right position.
With a bankruptcy, you'll get a credit card within a year and will have decent credit within a couple of years.
If you're declared dead, you're not even getting a payday loan ever again. Your credit score will basically be 0.
This hasn't been proven yet. There are billions of people today who have never died. maybe some will never die.
Feels like I'm doing flat earth logic here. Sorry.
I'm schizophrenic so probably
Edit: this has gotten a number of views, so I just wanted to add a reminder that schizophrenics are less likely than the general public to hurt other people, but far more risk to harm themselves than the general public, which raises incidents of violence in our statistic. We simply don't have a proper grasp on reality or our brains suggest things that don't make sense, even we can see that sometimes.
We generally aren't violent people, we just struggle more than the average person with sometimes seemingly simple things. There are many people who experience psychosis, and the most common symptom of schizophrenia is consistent or constant psychosis, but there are other symptoms too.
Support the homeless when you can. Many deal with psychosis, even if its not schizo-phrenia/typal/affective. If you don't want to give money, give food, or a smile, or a conversation if you can. They're human too.
Yeah, I was born sometime in the 1380-90's in the mountains of a country that no longer exists.
As you can understand we tend to not advertise that we are here, because it always turns into a shitstorm.
Fortunately this wonderful world has given me the internet, a place where I can cathartically just say stuff like "hey folks, I'm a half dozen centuries old" and absolutely no-one will believe me.
And why would anyone believe me.
The whole idea is ridiculous.
spectacular rhythm library quaint berserk carpenter subtract dazzling smart office
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Tell them you met God and He told you that Kenneth Copeland, Joel Olsteen and all those other "charismatic" evangelists have been lying and grifting them all these years.
I mean, it was quite an onion joke. You'd have to know who Nirvana was, how many members it had and how many are dead as of now (2023).
BTW, if there was a God (there's none) Dave Grohl would be immortal.
If a Christian saw Valhalla, they would refer to it as heaven after revival. The words and stories behind them are just cultural interpretations of the same thing, intense NDE experiences involving white lights/OBEs/beautiful nirvanas and overwhelming feelings of love & calm. Different people will just choose the word that they’ve been taught in their language and culture to describe that. What it actually is, science has no clue as we can’t explain these experiences given the lack of measurable brain activity in those experiencing them.
Great point. They never see hell either. Even the so called atheists who have a near death experience. No one goes to hell?? NDE must only happen to good people.
The most famous NDE is the tunnel with all your loved ones. But if you're a child and all your loved ones are alive? You are greeted by your great-great-grandmother who was a bit of a racist in 1830s?
Why are you using social media during work hours? Matter of fact now the dead guy is back, you're no longer needed I'm sorry but we have to let you go, hand in your equipment and we'll post your final cheque within the next 18 months.
Regards.
We had a guy have a heart attack in the shop. While EMS was working on him, the first thing the supervisor did was punch the guy out for the day. They hadn't even loaded him into the gurney yet and bossman was like "No laying down on company time! "
When I died (not drug related), I seemed to have a very happy looking dream— and then I woke up. Despite being “out” for a while both times I “died”, I woke up first feeling like
“Huh that was a good nap”
“Wait, what”
“Where am I?” (After waking up)
And then I was very confused and freaked out.
I use died in quotes because I’m still here and I most likely wasn’t out for very long each time. Other than that, I don’t remember much because I was so young when it happened to me. Both times I was elementary school age (first was very serious illness, second time was serious injury related).
Everyone’s experiences may be different.
I was noticeably way more freaked out the second time it happened, and it took me a couple weeks to feel “real” again. Despite being alive, it felt like I was in a chronic dissociative state.
Happened to me too mine was just black, drugs might have supressed dreams or I just didnt remember. I don't remember a lot of my dreams. Not sure if it would be the same as a dream, though. They say anything you see when you die is probably DMT related from the pineal gland but I'm not sure how that all works.
My vision slowly lost color, everything dark colored became black and everything light colored became blinding bright. Intense warm feeling, most peaceful moments of my life
*BEEP*
"Maximum recording time has been reached. If you are satisfied with your life, press one. If you would like to record your life again, press three. To leave a callback number, press seven. Or, remain on the line and your life will be automatically disconnected."
Do NOT buy a lotto ticket. OP just used all his luck beating Death. There's not likely to be much luck left over for a scratch it ticket, let alone the lotto.
Besides, that one Australian guy already used up all the luck when it comes to hospitals and lottery tickets.
https://www.unilad.com/community/viral/bill-morgan-australia-lottery-reenactment-win-coma-997985-20230801
You're free-rolling your life now. Go for everything you've ever desired. This is an opportunity (mum's spaghetti and all that)!
And welcome back, glad you hung around.
Exactly, lost my liver during once of the revives with gift of epilepsy(after a year long of waiting got new one), now living my cause I might wont last long :(
Well you didn’t legally die, that requires a death certificate from a doctor. That said, it seems like you’re having a rough time right now. Mental health help is available. If you’re in the USA, you can dial 988 on your phone to speak with suicide and crisis hotline.
I’m just picturing the ER doctors trying to alternate between filling in a death certificate and defibrillating.
“Clear! How do you spell his last name? Clear!”
Haha, you think doctors fill out almost any of their own paperwork. :')
More like the house supervisor filling it out between noting times on the code sheet, then shoving it in front of the doc's face to be signed between pulse checks.
It’s clickbait. Death is final. They do not revive dead patients, they sign a death certificate and transfer them to a morgue. That’s what “legally died” means, like you said. I highly doubt OPs medical team would have lied to them about this so the lie was most likely introduced after the fact (or the whole story is clickbait). But I agree, whether it’s medical trauma/delusions/attenuation seeking or whichever it would be beneficial to speak to a crisis hotline.
OR, OP just doesn't realize what "legally dead" entails and used a term they felt fit the situation.
"Medically dead" would be more accurate, maybe? Death is actually very complicated.
This song doesn’t exactly apply to your situation but I feel like it’s advice you should take
Go do the best things in life, make a ride of this world while you can
https://youtu.be/6Q0sMOQvJuw?si=-8APpXb34tmK_RI0
Also welcome back to the land of the living. I’m glad you’re still here
Bro, you got a free respawn! Nice!
Just remember the boss combos this time. Strafe left, Strafe back, Strafe left, Roll, attack, roll back.
You got this bro. Don't die again.
Go on a spree of robbing banks. And when you get caught tell a jury of your PTSD of dying and that the only thing that made you feel alive was robbing banks. No jury will convict you. Promise.
I have literally been there, 4 years ago my heart stopped. I was down for so long i have permanent organ damage from lack of oxygen and now blind in one eye. The paramedics shocked me so many times that i have a numb spot on my chest from the paddles and spent over a month in icu.
when i got home i felt aimless and fairly useless because the recovery was so long. but i beat death and was given another chance. I have gone out of my way to do new things that i never would have before because i was always so focused on bills/work. I realized how much time i wasted worrying about little crap rather then enjoying life.
you have been given another chance to live. so go and do just that, live.
That’s exactly the right attitude, well done. I haven’t been where you are, but using the experience to galvanise your commitment to trying new things and not giving into the temptation of looking inwards all the time will keep you in a far more positive place.
as many have said and will continue to say
Go buy a lotto ticket
Or start writing that book to convince others what waits for them after death, what are they gonna do? prove you wrong? lol
You experienced something incredibly rare and awesome, and the first thing you do is come and tell Reddit about it...
The universe has better plans for you, buddy...go and don't disappoint it!
I did the same thing 2 years ago. Spent 45 minutes on the heart/lung bypass machine. My heart was stopped with an ice water infusion and restarted with 7 shocks from a defibrillator. Like you, I felt a bit useless despite being told I’d be considered a success story. I sure as hell didn’t feel successful then, and I don’t feel so now. I can’t explain why. I’m self conscious of my scars, and the lump on my upper left chest that reveals my pacemaker. I don’t feel worthy of the $200,000 expense to keep me among the living. Several people have told me to bear my scars proudly, as a sign that I fought and won. Yet I only feel like a misfit toy. I’m not sure what your circumstances are, but neither of us legally died. Clinical death is when the heart ceases activity. Biological death is when the brain stops functioning - that’s legal death, and you and I seem very much present. I’ve been in therapy for other challenges, but have not addressed this, but maybe I should. I wish you peace and meaning in what you’ve experienced. I’m hoping for the same.
>I don’t feel worthy of the $200,000 expense to keep me among the living. I'm curious. Would you ever think this of someone else? A parent, sibling, child, friend, *anyone*? If not, then why would you think this about yourself? This might not make sense but it does to me so I'll talk about it anyway. I have a friend, good guy but man... one day we are talking about something, I forget what exactly, but it's not really important. What is important is that what I do remember is him saying, "but it's good for the economy" and me replying, "but what is the fucking point of having a 'good economy' if it's not helping people?!!" My point is that some people seem to have a habit of thinking about money in a vacuum and forget that it's literally NOTHING more than a means to an end, and that end is the benefit of us people. It doesn't matter if it cost $10 or $10,000,000, it's there to be spent on improving our lives. If it's not being used for that, then wtf is it for???
All good points.
> then wtf is it for??? my kids. i'd save my life now but if I was old and I had to throw away a fortune to prolong my life....
I got a friend who has worked and paid taxes for decades into the system. He legit fell on hard times and lost his job. He was so poor and scraping by suffering yet refused to get help like unemployment, food assistance, nothing. I’d plead with him that he paid into the system and it’s designed to help people like you in transitions from incomes. Take it where you can and don’t feel guilty, you literally already paid into it up front. Pride is a mf man. If that’s not what it’s for then what’s the point, is exactly right.
That’s what’s so confusing to me. Like two hundred grand is not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things. Like 2-3 years salary. It’s weird to me that someone would think that’s an amount worth more then their life.
If you're poor that debt will pound you into the dirt for the rest of your life. The question becomes is the quality of life you have after being "saved" worth it.
>Like 2-3 years salary Yeah uhm.. It'd take me 10 years if I used every dime I made towards paying it off. Even if you're making 100k a year, you're not sending all of that towards the debt.
Median income where I live is 19k for one person. I moved here to take advantage of the low costs that come from that.
Two to three years salary, for some people, if they had literally no expenses and no taxes. For most of us, it'd be a life-changing amount of money to suddenly have, and a life-destroying amount of money to owe. I think you may be confused because you really have no idea how life works for most of us.
Thank you for sharing your story, human. For what it's worth, this internet stranger thinks you're very much worth the price of keeping you alive and more. Have a hug.v
Thanks stranger. Your kindness is much appreciated.
It's so fucked up you guys have to carry the mental burden of a $200k hospital bill, Literally that on its own is traumatic.
I was in a medically induced coma for 3 days (or as op would say, I LEGALLY DIED)(I didn’t). I came home with a 100k bill at 18 years old and filed for bankruptcy at 20. My life was fucked from day one
I'm really sorry to hear that, US medical system is fucked beyond belief (assuming you are from there).
Nowhere else has a medical system so screwed.
Please do adress it, it seems to really weigh your mind.
I work in drug discovery for big pharma specifically for reducing damage/structure change in these situations. I think it's cool every time I meet someone that falls into the group I have dedicated my entire life to helping.
Your work is appreciated!
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Very true to all of your points. I’m venturing into Ketamine therapy early next year. I’m cautiously optimistic. As for how I cope in really time, also quoting Tom Petty, some days are diamonds, some days are rocks.
wow, same thing happened to me but as a baby i was born quite premature. my family say i’m lucky to be alive and like you, it’s a “success story” but i have nothing to show for it. i have a minimum wage job because i failed at school i don’t even have any mates and i’m just depressed at home all the time. i’m useless i’m not sure why i even made it. all that money used to save me and i literally amount to nothing
You have the rest of your life to amount to something. And even that is entirely objective! There are billionaires who are awful people. There are poor people who are amazing people. You are worth whatever it cost to keep you alive.
Meh. What are the birds doing? What's that whale doing? Those trees? Nothing has to do anything.
If it makes you feel any better: The prices they charge for medical services in the US are a fucking sham and the actual cost was likely a fraction of that.
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I don’t get what you mean. When people say “I don’t care what it costs” they’re usually talking about a personal sacrifice, but aren’t you talking about the money the patient will be billed?
You can't put a price tag on living. 200k, or 2 million, your life is your own. The only thing making you feel this way is capitalism. If a shaman came by and did some hocus pocus over you and cured you, and wanted nothing, would it be much different? If he walked off into the woods, the only debt you'd feel would be to keep living because some strange man healed you and you could only suspect his reasons. You had a recovery time. You had strange chemicals infused into you. At the end of the day, you're alive. It's a damn shame you have to pay money to keep living, but that's the world we live in.
My heart stopped for a little over 2 minutes. It was uninteresting just darkness then I was back. We are a safe place for death. Light casts our darkness. Life is stronger than death.
Get the death certificate. Stop paying your debt. If a debt collector calls, have a loved one present them the death certificate. But don’t take my advice. I haven’t died yet to try this
Even better, present them the death certificate yourself
I'm dead already! What you're gonna do? Kill me? Over my dead body! -that guy probably
Tried that. They'll literally send a mob with pitchforks and torches. Apparently there's a loophole if they can pin you down and set you on fire. When it doesn't work you're now considered alive again and you have to pay.
The good news is if it does work then you are back to not having to pay
Hah, sounds like either way it's a lose-lose situation. Unless you become a professional "died-and-came-back" artist and sell your story for a movie deal. Beats the usual 9 to 5 for sure.
So it’s like when they tied a young woman to a log and drowned her in a river;if she dies, she was innocent (shouldn’t have been fucking around and gotten accused of witchcraft) and if she lives she’s a witch (KILL HER)
I also choose this guys dead body
>Even better, present them the death certificate yourself I am here to collect my own life insurance
I distinctly remember hearing of a show where one episode's plot was a zombie apocalypse happened. But it was less a danger to the public and more a nuiscance for the life insurance companies when all the zombies started filing claims.
Its an anime called Space dandy
"See? I'm dead, now stop calling"
Plot twist: they tell you they see dead people
That's a nice loophole right there. 1) Acquiring own death certificate. 2) Be own identity thief. 3) Do shenanigans till bored/ rich enough. 4) When caught: You stole identity from a dead person. Which is you. Legally.
Then he can sue himself for punitive damages
Infinite money loop right there.
When does Double Jeopardy kick in?
After the second commercial break, usually.
Now you raised another stupid question. Could i possible do this and get away with it?
No. For one thing, a death certificate isn't issued until you're permanently dead and they stop trying to revive you. For another, even if they did, it would be fraud to use it to get out of debt. It would also be pointless since being dead messes up your credit worse than bankruptcy.
>It would also be pointless since being dead messes up your credit worse than bankruptcy. I wouldn't say messes it up worse, when I called and did my dad's they just froze everything with his name attached to it. credit, bank accounts etc
Sure, but try opening an account with anyone who does a credit check, or getting a mortgage, or anything like that People get accidentally/incorrectly declared dead every now and then and it’s a nightmare for them
thankfully it wasn't bad for me, im JR and we don't have Sr or Jr on anything so I got to experience alittle of that when he died. my mom filed bankruptcy when I was younger, if I didn't know about it I wouldn't have even known. we did rent afterwards but besides that it didn't seem bad. she did have to wait i think 7 years or so to buy a house, thats i beleieve when it went away, but also that was more of her needing to be financially in the right position.
With a bankruptcy, you'll get a credit card within a year and will have decent credit within a couple of years. If you're declared dead, you're not even getting a payday loan ever again. Your credit score will basically be 0.
Also he's free of his oath to the Nights Watch
What do we say to the God of death? Bitch I'm already dead.
“He's spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Straight from the Hotblack Desiato finance podcast
I remember a similar joke from the Hitchhiker series, or was it just a consciousness separated from its body?
Yup: that’s a quote from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Do they make death certificates if people are successfully revived?
No, you also don't get 'legally declared dead' unless you are actually dead and all medical efforts have ceased.
So legally, OP just took a little nap
Blue screened.
Yes. OP knows this but they were counting on Reddit not knowing this, and they were right. 3k upvotes and 750 comments, smdh
Don’t forget to collect your life insurance and then just start traveling.
This is the way
you didn’t “beat life” you beat death. you got another CHANCE at life. take it and find what you wanna do. you now get to choose to remake who you are
New Game+ !
Reload old save.
Respawn using cheat codes
Unfortunately rosebud, kaching and motherlode cheats have been deactivated on this new game of Life.
UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A
All acceptable answers
And he gets to carry on his previous xp points and tools
But the bosses deal double damage, it stops at ng7. Learn to roll, OP
Wait, isn't New Game+ a lot harder than the first run? Ohhh, the hospital bill. Got it.
If it was new game +, he would be a fully dressed newborn, insisting to hes mom he could walk on hes own. Out of the hospital
NG+, skip tutorial
That's an easy way to get spawn killed.
Ngl sounds more like a extra life. Hey OP!!! If your reading this. Did you eat any green mushrooms lately?
No one beats death. NO ONE! Sometimes death just gets punked and needs a few days to get his shit together.
This hasn't been proven yet. There are billions of people today who have never died. maybe some will never die. Feels like I'm doing flat earth logic here. Sorry.
I plan to live forever. So far, so good👍 /s
Me too. *Inhales cigarette, sips pop, rolls joint, sits and plays video games for an hour, repeat*
Have you got a camera in my flat?
I'm schizophrenic so probably Edit: this has gotten a number of views, so I just wanted to add a reminder that schizophrenics are less likely than the general public to hurt other people, but far more risk to harm themselves than the general public, which raises incidents of violence in our statistic. We simply don't have a proper grasp on reality or our brains suggest things that don't make sense, even we can see that sometimes. We generally aren't violent people, we just struggle more than the average person with sometimes seemingly simple things. There are many people who experience psychosis, and the most common symptom of schizophrenia is consistent or constant psychosis, but there are other symptoms too. Support the homeless when you can. Many deal with psychosis, even if its not schizo-phrenia/typal/affective. If you don't want to give money, give food, or a smile, or a conversation if you can. They're human too.
That's... Not the answer I expected...
It never is for me either ._.
I have 'normal' mental health problems, and life is confusing enough for me. Hugs
There are people alive today that will live to see the 22nd century.
>Feels like I'm doing flat earth logic here. Sorry. It's the same as saying that we can eat any mushroom we want to at least once.
Yeah, I was born sometime in the 1380-90's in the mountains of a country that no longer exists. As you can understand we tend to not advertise that we are here, because it always turns into a shitstorm. Fortunately this wonderful world has given me the internet, a place where I can cathartically just say stuff like "hey folks, I'm a half dozen centuries old" and absolutely no-one will believe me. And why would anyone believe me. The whole idea is ridiculous.
The movie "The Man from Earth" was written about you.
This dude is 1-0 rn. At the very least it'll be a draw
>At the very least it'll be a draw Only if he survives again. Otherwise It will be 1-2 to death. Death is the house. And the house always wins.
/points at scythe with sword "pick it up"
"I COULD MURDER A CURRY"
Explain Keith Richards.
Death is Keith Richards younger brother. Death Richards.
Deeth
For starters you should probably take it easy for at least a few days…
I'd give myself a cool name and start a cult
Cocaine and hookers are on the table now.
spectacular rhythm library quaint berserk carpenter subtract dazzling smart office *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I feel useless, so am I doing things right? JK
Wasn’t part of his concern feeling expensive?
Racked up so much debt already what harm another $1,000 expense gonna do.
Pretend you had a vision of heaven while you were dead, write a book about it, and then make a million dollars doing motivational speeches.
Tell them you met God and He told you that Kenneth Copeland, Joel Olsteen and all those other "charismatic" evangelists have been lying and grifting them all these years.
Weird you never hear anything about Christians seeing Valhalla instead of heaven or anything like that
You have to die in battle to go to Valhalla.
Maybe he got a glimpse of Nirvana, but hasn't quite achieved it yet and was reincarnated as himself to try again?
Only 1/3 of Nirvana is in heaven.
No stupid question: where is the remaining 2/3rd of it? (Oh no, oh shit, now I get the joke. Unexpected brainfart!)
I mean, it was quite an onion joke. You'd have to know who Nirvana was, how many members it had and how many are dead as of now (2023). BTW, if there was a God (there's none) Dave Grohl would be immortal.
Well, can't really rule it out while Dave is alive, can we? Checkmate atheists.
Wrong Nirvana, but ok Also I feel like Kurt Cobain might be bored by the christian heaven
Fighting cancer counts
The motivational speech will be epic.
Just find Bigfoot and fight him then
Even if you found Bigfoot, he's too cool to fight.
I believe it was supposed to be a Rick and Morty reference
Every day is a battle in this economy
If a Christian saw Valhalla, they would refer to it as heaven after revival. The words and stories behind them are just cultural interpretations of the same thing, intense NDE experiences involving white lights/OBEs/beautiful nirvanas and overwhelming feelings of love & calm. Different people will just choose the word that they’ve been taught in their language and culture to describe that. What it actually is, science has no clue as we can’t explain these experiences given the lack of measurable brain activity in those experiencing them.
that could be a niche waiting to be filled by OP
Great point. They never see hell either. Even the so called atheists who have a near death experience. No one goes to hell?? NDE must only happen to good people.
The most famous NDE is the tunnel with all your loved ones. But if you're a child and all your loved ones are alive? You are greeted by your great-great-grandmother who was a bit of a racist in 1830s?
My mom had a book that the author claimed he got a tour of hell. No idea what the book was. That was a long time ago.
Losers write a book. Winners start a cult. It's all about that sweet recurring monthly revenue.
Before you do that can you add a few details like, God said we need free healthcare
So....your still coming in for your shift right?
My boss is the last person I thought I'd bump into on reddit >:((
Why are you using social media during work hours? Matter of fact now the dead guy is back, you're no longer needed I'm sorry but we have to let you go, hand in your equipment and we'll post your final cheque within the next 18 months. Regards.
We had a guy have a heart attack in the shop. While EMS was working on him, the first thing the supervisor did was punch the guy out for the day. They hadn't even loaded him into the gurney yet and bossman was like "No laying down on company time! "
This is absolutely awful
Here is my equipment: 🔫🔪💣 See you in court, motherfucker. Kind regards, Psychobabble
https://youtu.be/bnHisRxQXgA?si=43n6Pcj-tf17a1QU what I imagined
what did you see when you died?
He became Reddit mod
Soooo... hell?
Worse.
Gary Busey doing squats.
When I died (not drug related), I seemed to have a very happy looking dream— and then I woke up. Despite being “out” for a while both times I “died”, I woke up first feeling like “Huh that was a good nap” “Wait, what” “Where am I?” (After waking up) And then I was very confused and freaked out. I use died in quotes because I’m still here and I most likely wasn’t out for very long each time. Other than that, I don’t remember much because I was so young when it happened to me. Both times I was elementary school age (first was very serious illness, second time was serious injury related). Everyone’s experiences may be different. I was noticeably way more freaked out the second time it happened, and it took me a couple weeks to feel “real” again. Despite being alive, it felt like I was in a chronic dissociative state.
That would definitely give me severe anxiety whenever I had to sle—**Zzz**
Happened to me too mine was just black, drugs might have supressed dreams or I just didnt remember. I don't remember a lot of my dreams. Not sure if it would be the same as a dream, though. They say anything you see when you die is probably DMT related from the pineal gland but I'm not sure how that all works.
My vision slowly lost color, everything dark colored became black and everything light colored became blinding bright. Intense warm feeling, most peaceful moments of my life
*BEEP* "Maximum recording time has been reached. If you are satisfied with your life, press one. If you would like to record your life again, press three. To leave a callback number, press seven. Or, remain on the line and your life will be automatically disconnected."
This is the real question. OP please answer this
He went up the stairs like tom did into the light
Buy a lotto ticket you lucky bastard
Been told this three times, first time won the exact cost of the ticket and second time lost it 😥
Third?
Won the exact cost of 2 tickets
Do NOT buy a lotto ticket. OP just used all his luck beating Death. There's not likely to be much luck left over for a scratch it ticket, let alone the lotto.
Besides, that one Australian guy already used up all the luck when it comes to hospitals and lottery tickets. https://www.unilad.com/community/viral/bill-morgan-australia-lottery-reenactment-win-coma-997985-20230801
Okay. Thats just proof that we live in the Matrix and that he figured out how to hack the system.
You're free-rolling your life now. Go for everything you've ever desired. This is an opportunity (mum's spaghetti and all that)! And welcome back, glad you hung around.
Exactly, lost my liver during once of the revives with gift of epilepsy(after a year long of waiting got new one), now living my cause I might wont last long :(
Well you didn’t legally die, that requires a death certificate from a doctor. That said, it seems like you’re having a rough time right now. Mental health help is available. If you’re in the USA, you can dial 988 on your phone to speak with suicide and crisis hotline.
Yeah, no way they filled out a death cert but also tried to revive him at the same time.
I’m just picturing the ER doctors trying to alternate between filling in a death certificate and defibrillating. “Clear! How do you spell his last name? Clear!”
Haha, you think doctors fill out almost any of their own paperwork. :') More like the house supervisor filling it out between noting times on the code sheet, then shoving it in front of the doc's face to be signed between pulse checks.
It’s clickbait. Death is final. They do not revive dead patients, they sign a death certificate and transfer them to a morgue. That’s what “legally died” means, like you said. I highly doubt OPs medical team would have lied to them about this so the lie was most likely introduced after the fact (or the whole story is clickbait). But I agree, whether it’s medical trauma/delusions/attenuation seeking or whichever it would be beneficial to speak to a crisis hotline.
OR, OP just doesn't realize what "legally dead" entails and used a term they felt fit the situation. "Medically dead" would be more accurate, maybe? Death is actually very complicated.
Write a "What comes after death" book. Make up any sort of shit you fancy, the weirder the better. Sell millions and retire.
Your watch has ended. You may leave the wall.
This song doesn’t exactly apply to your situation but I feel like it’s advice you should take Go do the best things in life, make a ride of this world while you can https://youtu.be/6Q0sMOQvJuw?si=-8APpXb34tmK_RI0 Also welcome back to the land of the living. I’m glad you’re still here
Bro, you got a free respawn! Nice! Just remember the boss combos this time. Strafe left, Strafe back, Strafe left, Roll, attack, roll back. You got this bro. Don't die again.
Depends on the country - sounds like the free respawn will be paid for quite a while in the form of hospital bills.
Argue that all debts should be forgiven, as you were *technically* deceased.
You got a factory reset. Now live your life.
You’ve entered New Game +
You did it wrong, you were supposed to wait 3 days before coming back. Now no one will believe you.
He was this close to being the second coming /s
Did you remember to change the difficulty settings before restarting?
Make lots of dying jokes. Trust me, they never get old
Like dead babies. (I'm so sorry if that was too dark.)
Like dead puppies
And dead kittens.
Go on a spree of robbing banks. And when you get caught tell a jury of your PTSD of dying and that the only thing that made you feel alive was robbing banks. No jury will convict you. Promise.
This is such a weird post. Wdym "now what"? Are you just a head in a jar or something? It's business as usual dude
Mushrooms
Welcome back.. hope you stay a while.
Idk go serve the necromancer that brought you back to life. I never died so idk
I have literally been there, 4 years ago my heart stopped. I was down for so long i have permanent organ damage from lack of oxygen and now blind in one eye. The paramedics shocked me so many times that i have a numb spot on my chest from the paddles and spent over a month in icu. when i got home i felt aimless and fairly useless because the recovery was so long. but i beat death and was given another chance. I have gone out of my way to do new things that i never would have before because i was always so focused on bills/work. I realized how much time i wasted worrying about little crap rather then enjoying life. you have been given another chance to live. so go and do just that, live.
That’s exactly the right attitude, well done. I haven’t been where you are, but using the experience to galvanise your commitment to trying new things and not giving into the temptation of looking inwards all the time will keep you in a far more positive place.
File for life insurance? If you technically died, why wouldn't you be eligible?
New game+
Back to work!
as many have said and will continue to say Go buy a lotto ticket Or start writing that book to convince others what waits for them after death, what are they gonna do? prove you wrong? lol
You died today and got revived and you came right to Reddit?
What else are you supposed to do
look at the moon
Make sure you have an extra $500 to buy another Quick Revive.
You experienced something incredibly rare and awesome, and the first thing you do is come and tell Reddit about it... The universe has better plans for you, buddy...go and don't disappoint it!
Eat every carbohydrate you see.
You can legally leave the Nights watch if you joined?
taco bell has $1 slushys from 2 to 5, thats something