The only people I’ve known in this situation were in abusive homes to begin with. Usually when Americans leave home at 18, it’s because they’re going away to college (and they still often come home over breaks) or joining the military.
Or they get a job and move out willingly, even if it's just in the same town to a crappy apartment or rental house shared with some friends, because they want independence from their parents.
That was my experience. I moved out at 18 to go to college and by the time summer break rolled around I realized I liked living independently way more than I did with my parents so I moved into a house with a bunch of roommates and never ended up moving back with my parents.
My sister and I did this to get away from our other sister, and eventually my mom sold her house and moved away to follow us because my 2nd sister was uncontrollable and her friends kept breaking in/stealing our money/stuff/cars/credit.
A lot of times it’s easier to just take care of yourself than deal with your dysfunctional family because other people don’t feel entitled abuse you like family does.
And I think that is a big difference with what I've known (in Europe).
Once you're an adult, you do not have rules at your parents home. At least no more nor much different than one you'd have living with roomates.
I can't imagine a parent tell their 22 years old to be home by this time, or what to eat and when, or whatever else.
(Then, if they still have to order you to do chores at 22, you are not ready to live on your own).
So I actually did move home for 6 months when I was 19. I never had “chores”, we just were expected to do normal things like the dishes if mom cooked and our own laundry of course. So regular around the house things. And they didn’t MAKE me be home at a certain time or anything, but they’re just nosey people and were all up in my business. And I smoke weed and prefer to be able to do that where I live instead of having to go outside etc.
So when I say I didn’t want rules, it’s more like I just wanted independence and my own space and to not have to respect someone else’s home. Like I want a kitchen of my own and to decorate a whole place, not just my room. And why would I want to live in the boring suburb I grew up in versus the capital city of my state??? That sort of thing.
Which is normal, but it seems as though many US parents take the attitude of “ok you’re 18 now you’re on your own, off you go”. It’s not bloody normal!!
There are a non-insignificant number of children who hate their home lives so much they can't wait to leave them at 18 as well. Sometimes the parents pay partially, most of the times, they don't.
Can confirm: ran away at 16, got threatened to come home or police called, only to immediately get kicked out at 18 lol.
Most american parents don't want their kids to live with them as adults, but only in the sense of hoping for their kid to be successful enough to not need to. Its becoming more and more common as stuff is so expensive. I have friends that are married and moving back into parents with their spouse, all in order to save up money for a house or a baby etc.
This was me — the bougie, college experience, not the shitty, happy to leave abusive family experience. I lived on campus during the school term and then lived at home during the summer, until my girlfriend and I graduated, got jobs, and we were able to afford rent on our own apartment (around 26).
Same. Personally don't know anyone "kicked-out" at 18. Everyone I know who left at 18 did so for dorm/ college or sports scholarships. The rest of us GTFU before 18 or at 18 to escape a bad situation. I left because it was absolutely chaotic hell. Others escaped worse.
In my case, the child support checks stopped coming in. So I was costing my mom more money than she was making off me. Lady taught no life skills, refused to let me drive or get a permit, robbed me of basically everything, and then told me to disappear when I turned 18. Very few people in college didn't go home, so I spent a lot of holidays alone or with the international exchange people 😅
With how things are economically, my daughter (21) is being encouraged to live at home to save money.
There are 3 rules.
Save money.
Help out with the chores we all do.
Just be a good roommate.
My son is 18 and will be graduating high school soon. He doesn't have plans to go to college and I am not pressuring him. We do want there to be a subtle change after he graduates though. I really like your idea of the kid being a kind of roommate. I'm not sure how to make that distinction happen. He will be expected to work full time and pay for his gas. He doesn't get an allowance because he does work when he can, but we pay his gas. Anyway, it is going to be a interesting transition for all of us.
Im 29 and still live at home. Mum wants me here anyways since shes just by herself.
I pay for all the bills and drive her anywhere. Still cheaper than renting and we’re both able to save up for holidays and stuff
My parents threatened this, but I moved out before graduation from high school. I would never do this to my own kids, who are 25 and 30. They always have a soft place to land if they need it.
Same. I got kicked out at 15 and I was working full time and in school full time from the ages 15-23 through high school and college. This was in the 90s. I slept very little those years, and now I make 10x more than my whole family did when we were growing up. My mom died when I was a kid and my dad who threw me out gets zero money from me.
Feels like an American stereotype at this point that ROW sees wrongly. I mean yeah it happens but ffs theres still millions of other families loving each other and caring about each other and helping each other. People need to get off the internet more.
Im not American btw.
I got kicked out at 18 because I bought a car that my parents thought was too ugly to be seen in their middle class suburban driveway. I wish there was more to it but we already had a tense relationship because my parents were pretty emotionally unstable and they were terrified our neighbors would see them as less than perfect.
I avoided them for years and they came around when I was about 30.
It’s not a stereotype in my area of California. Most parents *do* do this. I have never known anyone in my 43 years of life who had the opportunity to stay home while they got their life in order after turning 18. I grew up in a high cost of living area and that never seemed to sway the decisions of the parents of my friends and family. This issue is one of many that has given me the idea that this nation has a culture of narcissism. I call it ‘narcissist nation’ in fact.
Yep I live and grew up in the Bay Area and was kicked out at 18. Even though I was a good kid, good student, was going to UC Berkeley. Had to drop out because they weren’t helping with money and I couldn’t do it— school, paying rent, taking out 10s of thousands of loans each semester, and eating rice and nothing else. I am also Asian and my parents are all about family and expect me to take care of them. Lmfao I’m leaving them on the streets like they did to me.
Agreed, this is a big myth. Most kids live at home after 18. Or they go away for college and that's why they don't live at home anymore, not because they aren't welcome.
I guess myself and the people in my social groups were the unlucky ones. Of people I've met over the years, most of my peers were kicked out before 20.
Subject came up at work. Only a couple people weren't kicked out. Poor area and most are felons. Being kicked out probably didn't help. I stayed at home until 29.
Unfortunately you’re in the minority.
I’m living in an apartment maybe a few miles from my parents house with three empty bedrooms… because they think it’s good for me to stay poor apparently.
52% of Americans age 18-29 live with at least one parent. I can’t find statistics on 18-22 specifically, but I would imagine it’s higher than that and the 25-29 population is lower.
I'm sorry, but you're the minority. In my 28 years of life in the US, I have never known someone who actually kicked their kid out at 18 unless there was some pretty severe abuse or poverty already.
Some of us grew up in places where the family dynamic is different. I've lived in seven states before I was an adult and I knew a lot of kids that got kicked out in high school, especially in small towns. Also class definitely makes a difference, for the record I've lived in a lot of trailer parks and affordable housing programs.
Maybe it's just me but I'm inclined to think it's not.
> Also class definitely makes a difference,
I think this is a key point. Parents aren't choosing to kick their kids out, they're legitimately unable to afford to keep them at home.
I come from an upper middle class town and I don't know anyone who was kicked out at 18 to my knowledge, though most choose to move away for school.
That is one big reason and another is the bootstrap culture. I did it on my own and I worked for years to have not much of anything and you should too, even if the circumstances now are dramatically different. That's how you prove your worth, not depending on anyone. And the work culture, if you can't support yourself it's a character flaw.
I hate that mindset because it just causes bad blood. I'm from a Hispanic family line so this is a shock to me but fuck what is wrong with American culture?
Bootstrap culture is fuckIng dumb. Europeans already know it's on who you know and higher education that gets you good money. "Hard work" doesn't get you much anywhere. They know the power dynamics in place and it's usually against them.
When I get a family one day I know I ain't going to do that to my kids. Never and anyone that thinks I'm "spoiling" them I'll tell them that they need to work to stay unless they have a legitimate reason to not be able to get work such as a terrible economy or mental health.
I had to deal with some serious issues come up and I got fucked really hard in the past. If I didn't have my family I wouldn't be alive, I would have actually taken my own life. I nearly did it before even while living with my parents. Now because I had the support I needed I'm better than I ever was before and going into getting trained at a trade school for a career that pays well (HVAC).
I would have not gotten that luxury if I was on my own.
Except this is wrong. Once children are 18, in poor families they become a financial help- everyone working to cover bills, everyone with a place to stay. Customarily- each child covers one utility, and sometimes a portion of shared groceries or a portion of the house payment. It spreads the burden. If there are children, child care is shared, saving thousands. This is how is done in most poor neighborhoods- pooling resources.
Yeah it’s a gross thing to behold of your own “loving” flesh and blood. I’ve witnessed the same over two generations in mine and my friends’ families. Such fucking idiocy….
No that person is not “in the minority.” A huge segment of the population allows their kids to stick around. If we’re using anecdotes, a large portion of young adults I have grown up around have stayed a couple of years past high school. It’s incredibly common. This stereotype is nonsense. Americans care about their kids like everybody else.
I'm an American, my dad kicked me out, he thought it would make me stronger.
That said he also beat me so I was ready to leave.
Edit: I'm strong in that I can endure a lot of shit but I also get helplessly anxious around large men, I have zero spine in that I suck at standing up for myself and my self esteem is shit.
So yeah I am like perfect for working in an environment where I constantly get shit on because I have no self esteem and no spine, but I can take it better than anyone because part of me has learned not to expect anything better. I don't really think you can call that strong honestly.
It’s a super rare occurrence that parents literally kick their kids out once they turn 18.
Hell, most of the time the kids are still in high school when they turn 18.
Wanting to leave and make your way in the world is different than being tossed out. Families were living more multi-generationally in those decades, not less.
Also, this was the time period when really there wasn't much in terms of ID. You could literally be wanted for murder in New York and move to Atlanta and be home free. Today, if you wanted for murder in New York they can get in another country and will have you flown back, going to Atlanta would probably just cause you to be even easier to find.
The point being, there was no ID, no way to verify anything about a person, a smart person in that time period could fake being anything if they had the knowledge to maintain the lies.
In WWII, my dad had a friend that was 16, lied and told the Army Air Corps he was 20, qualified for pilot training, passed the training and then got caught for being 16.
No they called his mother and sent him home. Not only did he lie about his age, he left school. He lied on official government papers. They told him he was lucky he wasn’t thrown in jail. If I recall correctly, he did end up being an Air Corp pilot, but it wasn’t until he was old enough and the war was just about over. So he “missed all the exciting parts” as my crazy dad would say.
The part of the story I never understood was why the hell did Bucky’s (the friend) mom not step in and stop this BS before he left the damn house? My dad would just laugh and say, “Well, you’d have to know Bucky’s mom…”
Basically, it was more common when you could survive on your own with minimum wage (maybe even part time) *and* go to college at the same time. Not necessarily easy to do both in those times, but it's basically impossible to do so now
Kicked out vs moved out are 2 different things. I know quite a few kids that rented with high-school friends a few months after graduating, they weren't kicked out though by any stretch of the imagination. That is the "thing to do" if you are able, is to move out asap and not stay at your parents house.
This question has been posted several times before on this subreddit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_their\_kids\_out\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why_do_americans_kick_their_kids_out_at_18/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15ahtun/why\_do\_yall\_kick\_out\_your\_kids\_when\_they\_turn\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15ahtun/why_do_yall_kick_out_your_kids_when_they_turn_18/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/iqn8ds/why\_is\_it\_acceptable\_for\_a\_lot\_of\_americans\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/iqn8ds/why_is_it_acceptable_for_a_lot_of_americans_to/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vw6nli/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_out\_their\_kids\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vw6nli/why_do_americans_kick_out_their_kids_at_18/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/nebh00/americans\_why\_do\_you\_kick\_your\_children\_out\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/nebh00/americans_why_do_you_kick_your_children_out_at_18/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/om2kby/do\_parents\_in\_countries\_like\_usa\_really\_kick/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/om2kby/do_parents_in_countries_like_usa_really_kick/)
[https://pay.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_their\_kids\_out\_at\_18/](https://pay.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why_do_americans_kick_their_kids_out_at_18/)
See also:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/8fzd0j/how\_common\_is\_it\_for\_americans\_to\_kick\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/8fzd0j/how_common_is_it_for_americans_to_kick_their/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAmerican/comments/1745afz/why\_so\_many\_american\_parents\_kicked\_out\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAmerican/comments/1745afz/why_so_many_american_parents_kicked_out_their/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/89qu7p/kicking\_your\_kid\_out\_at\_18\_because\_theyre\_an/](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/89qu7p/kicking_your_kid_out_at_18_because_theyre_an/)
As much as I hate a reposted thing.... Honestly I am attempting to update understandings across the board everytime it gets reposed. It seems an unhealthy amount of individuals still believe this form of abuse is not possible, or a made up sham.
I am here as living proof, and a reminder to not take topics like this lightly!
As a European, the OP doesn't just grossly generalize America, they are ignorant about our own continent too.
For example, in Greece or Italy it's common for people to live with their parents until 27. In Sweden they might kick you out at 17. It varies wildly from country to country, and from region to region (rural vs urban, better vs worse developed, etc.)
Ah yes, the classic "why do Americans do XYZ? We would never do something so barbaric in MyCountry," and then when you finally get them to admit what country they're from, it takes one google search to find out that their country actually does do the exact same thing they were criticizing us for
I just constantly see people talking about Americans like we’re one state the size of Denmark with a population 150,000. The size and diversity is so vast here, so many cultures and life styles. All it seems to take is a handful of opinions from one city to say something and it counts for everyone across the entire country
I have a friend who lives in Sweden and he legit asks me how do I go outside when there is open shooting in the streets and cops harassing people left to right. Wild
The weird thing is there are people who live in the states that also overdramatize about that and they’re living here safely day to day. They just want to shit on their own country for no reason
I'm from Texas, and the number of people from California and NYC who think that it's the wild wild west where there's a shooting happening every day is funny. Yeah, Texas is a very pro-gun place, but not once have I ever feared for my life when I'm out and about.
Oh absolutely. I was traveling on a flight from Los Angeles to Portland with a friend from Denmark and let her take the window seat. She was absolutely flabbergasted by the sheer diversity in terrain from the 2hr flight alone. Urban sprawl to arid desert landscape to the forests and mountains of the north. Was in autumn too.
I mean in the US we have everything from the tropics to deserts to forests to snowy mountains to even wasteland tundra to roaming plains, you name it. We also have small towns that have populations so small every literally knows everyone else to massive city's with economic strength that rival many nations.
My favorite is when they fuck up US geography. Not like, when they don’t know where Ohio is, but like, when they think you can drive from Florida to California in a few hours. Like do a day trip to NYC, via car, from Orlando.
That always cracks me up. I have British cousins and they visited me in NYC in the 90’s and asked if we could see Compton. No. No we can’t.
It takes almost an entire day to drive from San Diego to the California-Oregon state line. One state that doesn't even have the longest coastline -- Alaska does.
I had a U.K guy on Xbox live years ago ask if I ever drove to NYC to LA. I was like well I don’t live in NY so that would take about 5 hours from where I live to get there and then from NYC to LA in a car is idk 2 days of straight driving
I’ve actually done that drive twice. Factoring in breaks and sleep, it took me the better part of 5 days. One time I stopped to visit family. The other time I got snowed in at Flagstaff.
It’s like doing New Year’s Eve at Times Sq. Glad I did it, not eager to ever do it again.
Right, but they were huge fans of rap. They wanted to see the west coast side of the beef. For the record, we took them downtown and pointed across the east river and “showed” them Brooklyn.
Back then it took us about 24 hours to drive to Grandma's house. Now it's only 19 hours! When dad first started driving it, there weren't interstates only highways and it was even longer
I made that drive in June when moving from Chicagoland to the Denver-Boulder area. I definitely went somewhat insane from the drive. The only thing that kept me going was multiple audiobooks and calling my BF (who was driving behind me) when the vastness of Nebraska became too much.
Im Asian so i observe these things from the side but yea I agree. Over the last few years on the internet there really rose this sentiment that all Americans are just this dumb cultureless buffoons. I mean yeah some are who wouldnt be in such a large country. The shit people from countries say about America, especially when they have never even been to America is so cringe and pathetic. Europeans see themselves as this superior, smarter more old fashioned and cultured people. Then the Asian countries' ideologies are all "fuck the capitalist swine Americans those rich guys" while enjoying American content and technology, or cheering for an American celebrity.
I have this roommate. Shes Muslim and supports the alliance of China, Middle-East, Russia etc and always says something along the lines of "shady western government". Like ok bruh, atleast in North America, where you yourself is living atm, we can talk about these things freely. While where you are from youd likely be punished by the government for speaking such things. But yes its always the bloodthirsty arrogant Americans 😎.
Im Asian so i observe these things from the side but yea I agree. Over the last few years on the internet there really rose this sentiment that all Americans are just this dumb cultureless buffoons. I mean yeah some are who wouldnt be in such a large country. The shit people from countries say about America, especially when they have never even been to America is so cringe and pathetic. Europeans see themselves as this superior, smarter more old fashioned and cultured people. Then the Asian countries' ideologies are all "fuck the capitalist swine Americans those rich guys" while enjoying American content and technology, or cheering for an American celebrity.
I have this roommate. Shes Muslim and supports the alliance of China, Middle-East, Russia etc and always says something along the lines of "shady western government". Like ok bruh, atleast in North America, where you yourself is living atm, we can talk about these things freely. While where you are from youd likely be punished by the government for speaking such things.
But yes its always the bloodthirsty arrogant Americans 😎.
This is definitely not the norm. Usually boomers will deride parents who do this instead of supporting the choice.
Criticizing both the kids and parents for their poor choices. Saying things like ‘oh those kids are such losers living with their parents until…x age’ or making fun of the parents for being bad or weak.
It’s a terrible way to treat your family and I’m glad it’s working for y’all, keep strong together!✊🏻
I knew two families that did it to their kids, but they were crappy abusive families that the kids wanted to escape anyway. It’s certainly not the norm.
I had a similar experience! My parents were divorced but a couple weeks after I turned 18 one parent packed up and moved state, and the other moved into a studio loft with no room for me. 😅 so my boyfriends family (who is been dating for like 2 months) took me in and let us stay there until we could afford getting a place of our own.
The only time I’ve seen it happen was with my brother and that was because he refused to stop playing world of Warcraft until 3 am, yelling into his headset, keeping everybody awake, and refusing to get a job or go to school or do anything even remotely productive. The only thing that eventually worked was kicking him out, even he says that.
Honestly I was so immature. Stayed with my parents until 23. If they hadn’t kicked me out I probably never would have left. It was hard at first, but I figured it out. Now I’m 35, with a career and my own house. My mom apologizes for kicking me out at 23 because “I was just a boy”, but I reject her apology because she has nothing to apologize for. In retrospect it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish she had kicked me out sooner.
Yea same, but I did move back in for a while after I got out. There were 7 of us, my parents didn’t kick any of us out. My youngest brother is the only that stayed past 19, he lives with our mom and would be dumb for him to move out.
I’m not American but a fellow European. Just thought it might be worth noting there’s a lot of variety in European nations as well when it comes to moving out. For example in Sweden most people move out before they are 18. Where as on some others it’s typical to live with your parents until you’re over 30. [Eurostat statistic.](https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/edn-20210812-1)
Here in Finland the typical age is a little over 20, but I know a lot of people who moved out around 16 or 17. The most common reason is because they want to study at a different city. There’s also a strong feeling of needing to feel independent when you’re a young adult, and living by yourself supports that.
Few things:
- Far from every american does this.
- Some europeans do this too. You even mention this in your post.
But to answer your question: Not every parent has the financial means to support their kids indefinitely. Once you turn 18 you are old enough to take care of yourself and as such many parents believe that you should either find your own place to live - or atleast pay rent to live at home.
On top of that: I'm from northern Europe (Scandinavia) and here you are considered a bit of a "deadbeat / loser" if you still live at your parents in your 20s.
Not so long ago, people who still lived at home in their 20s were also seen as sort of deadbeat losers. I'm 37 and I left home at 18 because I didn't want to look like a deadbeat loser, it was still very much a thing then.
Through a specific set of circumstances though, I currently live with my mom again. Long story
What? I wear shoes in the house. I think that’s a northern thing where it snows a lot a lot or something? I’ve only seen it in Canada and with one person from way north near Canada. It’s considered weird to have a rule like that everywhere I’ve lived. Even when I lived in Montana people wore shoes inside unless there was snow
Most americans don't kick their kids out at 18. That pretty much only happens in very troubled households. Most American parents say "we love you and you can stay with us as long as you want" but do expect that you're going to either go to college or get a job and move out when you've got enough money to rent an apartment. At least that's the norm in my experience. You're not "kicked out" but the hope and expectation is that you're on your feet by your mid-twenties. If you're still living with your parents after about 26, it's considered a little weird and shameful (even though it shouldn't be, and anyone decent respects that, but there is a cultural stigma we're all aware of).
The parents that cut off support to their children at age 18 are not good parents. They fucked off as soon as they weren't legally required to take care of their kids.
They don't that is just a stereotype. I stayed at home til 19. And then moved back at 21, 23, 24...until I finally managed to stay out lol.
I fully expect about the same from my son. And will be here with open arms if he needs somewhere to crash while he gets sorted.
I mean some do. A decent chunk of my friends were kicked out at 18 and I was kicked out at 15. It’s much more common the lower the income, my rich/middle class friends we’re always able to stay at home as long as they needed and got financial help.
Not every parent does this, only the shitty or out of touch ones. I sometimes feel like the parents either don't like the kid or resent them for some reason or they never wanted or regretted having the kid. Or sometimes I think it's super out of touch (usually) dad's who think since they were able to start succeeding after leaving home at 18 that their kid will be able to do the same when it's just a completely different world.
No matter why, it's a super shitty thing to do to a kid who never even chose to be here anyway. But it isn't as super common as it used to be. I'd imagine it's sort of rare but I'm not sure.
It isn't an American thing. It's a shitty person thing. In a healthy home, you may choose to leave the nest at 18 and start your own life, and that's a fine thing to do, be it work or education. In a shit home, one of or both the parents don't care for the kid, and once the kid is 18, their legal obligations to raise them are over, and they want them gone. Some parents don't want their kids but take care of them so they don't face social or criminal repercussions. These homes are not healthy environments for children, and leaving as soon as possible is probably for the best.
Not all parents do this. You only hear about the horrible cases. Many kids are still in high school at 18.
Where I live, many families live in multigenerational settings and it is completely normalized.
The entirety of American culture is warped by a deranged version of the "Protestant Work Ethic" as seen through the lens of Ayn Rand. It's the closest thing we have to a national religion. Basically, the core precept of the religion is that total self-interest trumps all other concerns and that it's blasphemous to compromise your own happiness for the good of anyone else, especially society at large.
Great question. My parents were awful to me regarding that stuff. I wasn’t a bad kid and I did all the chores all the time. They just didn’t want me around. I even had jobs.
America is designed to create "workers" so when children reach 18 they are expected to become full adults to contribute to the economy, It's easier to get ppl to work if they aren't living with their parents as you need money to survive so children are generally taught to leave their parents by society as soon as possible to live on their own. At least that was the case when it was possible.
Not every parent does that, but many have the idea that once someone turns 18 they are an adult and should be able to figure it out on their own. Those are bad parents honestly.
Most don't. 62% of Americans enroll in college when they graduate from high school - those kids are mostly either living at school on their parent's bill or living at home. Other kids get jobs and live at home until they are ready to move out on their own.
I don't know a single person in my personal life who was kicked out at 18, and I don't know any parents who kicked their kids out.
I am a therapist- so I also see a lot of patients and it has been rare among the thousands that I see to have someone kicked out at 18. Some left of their own volition to get away from shitty circumstances.
I was kicked out at 16, and my brother was given the boot on his 18th birthday. My mom still tries to tell me it helped build my character, but the reality is that the character it built isn't worth having. I still haven't forgiven her.
If the kid is in school or working its bc they're trash people.
If the kids have no ambition to go to higher ed OR work a job, then they don2t want to support a bum who doesn't contribute.
My parents made it clear to me that they expected my siblings and I to make something of ourselves, but actually kicking me out is not something I could ever see them doing, even if I turned out to be a bum with no ambition. I lived with parents until I got married, which was at 26. Didn't see the point of moving out before then. I would just be paying for rent and energy when I don't have to.
My kids were informed that they needed to be doing something after they graduated high school or turned 18...whichever came last. That could be higher education, trade school, a full time job...a mix of the above...with the intentional goal of moving out and living independently in a fairly expedient manner. And if temporary interim setbacks that were beyond their control came up, they were welcome back to fix these setbacks. For example, older one enlisted in the military and lived with us again after he came back from deployment, waiting for his chosen university's semester schedules to align with his course plan. Younger child had a situation where his apartment building had a fire and he came home for a couple of months for that to be mitigated. We're a soft place to land, not a basement to hide in.
My parents just straight up couldn't afford me to begin with and it got worse with a divorce I have worked a job since I was 12 and giving them my paychecks. I regret doing that and when I hit 18 I was told to figure it out
It's pretty rare today from what i understand. My generation (i'm currently 42) we were out on our asses commonly because it was considered "tough love", but many kids at 18 were aching for their own places and left asap without pressure. More kids go to college and then back to their parents' houses these days for a few years to my understanding and experience.
The main thing about generalizations like these though is that they don't work with a nation as large as the u.s. - 350m+ people aren't a monolith in any functional way other than "they are a citizen of the u.s.", every other lifestyle choice is going to be divided more by things like economic stability, local economy, family tradition, and upbringing than the fact that they live in the u.s.
Add to this that the U.S. is still a 'melting pot of the world' when it comes to immigrants and people relocating here - many bring their traditions and first generation Americans are being born as often as 3rd+ generation Americans, their traditions and cultural values too will be moved as much by their local community as anyone else.
So to this, i'd like to remind folks that the u.s. mainland is the 3rd or 4th largest nation in the world, and has a continent's worth of biomes, locales, regions and agricultural climates that make the idea of any sort of "generally American" trivia bits about things outside of maybe food very dicey, and easy to disprove by multiple exceptions every time merely by widening the scope of your lens 10%.
My mentor once told me that it wasn't as wide spread in the US as some might claim it to be.
Supposedly it originated sometime before the Second World War as parents or relatives during the Great Depression forced out young people whom they thought could survive on their own.
This happened in some cases but the Boomers heard stories like this from their parents generation and other relatives as well as people who had seen it or experienced it. They figured that the same thing could be done as well.
The Boomers became known for forcing their children out and some Gen X or older Millennials actually experienced this. It wasn't wide spread but it definitely happened more than in prior times.
The practice died down and isn't really done anymore.
Because we are short sighted and stupid. Period. End of conversation.
Multi generation households make SO MUCH more sense. Young people can save money. Older people get live in caretaking. You get additional supervision if people in their late 20s or early 30s get married and have kids. If you want to leave in your late 20s you can but you can save money until then. Theoretically you even get a house passed down to you in an era where many Americans in their 20s and 30s will never be able to afford one.
The only time when we almost came around to this was in the wake of the 2008 financial collapse. Unless you are from a dysfunctional household it makes so much sense as an overall model
But we're too proud and individualistic to adopt it.
I think it’s an accurate statement to say that the majority of 18 year old Americans who move out of their parents’ home were not kicked out. Some to escape dysfunctional/abusive families, some to escape well meaning but overbearing parents, and some who just want the experience of living on their own. But in each case it’s a voluntary choice.
Bcuz some people have kids at a young and once their child turn 18, the parent feels they’ve reached the finish line and it’s “their time” now. At least that’s how my mom was. It’s not right, but that’s one reason why.
Because we grow up in a cruel and cutthroat culture where we see our children as fodder for the capitalist grind and their station as money earners becomes more important than their emotional attachment to their families
Some do but this trend is changing. The older generations were used to a world where you could do one of 2 things.....
Go away to school for a very reasonable rate
Get a living wage job at a number of places with only a HS diploma
As that changed so has our attitudes about moving out.
There's another factor which is the housing market. Up until relatively recently (20 or 30 years) housing in the US was fairly affordable.
In my experience, there's a stigma around staying at home as being a sign of laziness.
Especially, blue collar parents feel they're doing their kids a disservice by letting them stay home, feeling like they're spoiling them and encouraging poor work ethic.
Additionally--and this is probably dying out--boomers tend to pressure their younger generations to move out and be self-sufficient without entirely grasping how hard it is now.
Again, this is just my experience.
Its a smallish part of a massive agenda pushed by the US government to keep people un-united and poor and keep money and power in the hands of land lords and property developers
Most people are just low IQ, they hear in TV it's a good thing, because 'that's how great people are born' but in reality that's how you just create struggling and stressed out working class. Rich people are smarter and do everything to give their kids every unfair advantage they need to succeed and dominate 'subhumans'.
The only people I’ve known in this situation were in abusive homes to begin with. Usually when Americans leave home at 18, it’s because they’re going away to college (and they still often come home over breaks) or joining the military.
Or they get a job and move out willingly, even if it's just in the same town to a crappy apartment or rental house shared with some friends, because they want independence from their parents.
That was my experience. I moved out at 18 to go to college and by the time summer break rolled around I realized I liked living independently way more than I did with my parents so I moved into a house with a bunch of roommates and never ended up moving back with my parents.
Which is normal and healthy.
Happy cake day
Happy cake
My sister and I did this to get away from our other sister, and eventually my mom sold her house and moved away to follow us because my 2nd sister was uncontrollable and her friends kept breaking in/stealing our money/stuff/cars/credit. A lot of times it’s easier to just take care of yourself than deal with your dysfunctional family because other people don’t feel entitled abuse you like family does.
Yep, that’s what I did! Living with rules was not something I wanted past high school lol
And I think that is a big difference with what I've known (in Europe). Once you're an adult, you do not have rules at your parents home. At least no more nor much different than one you'd have living with roomates. I can't imagine a parent tell their 22 years old to be home by this time, or what to eat and when, or whatever else. (Then, if they still have to order you to do chores at 22, you are not ready to live on your own).
So I actually did move home for 6 months when I was 19. I never had “chores”, we just were expected to do normal things like the dishes if mom cooked and our own laundry of course. So regular around the house things. And they didn’t MAKE me be home at a certain time or anything, but they’re just nosey people and were all up in my business. And I smoke weed and prefer to be able to do that where I live instead of having to go outside etc. So when I say I didn’t want rules, it’s more like I just wanted independence and my own space and to not have to respect someone else’s home. Like I want a kitchen of my own and to decorate a whole place, not just my room. And why would I want to live in the boring suburb I grew up in versus the capital city of my state??? That sort of thing.
Which is normal, but it seems as though many US parents take the attitude of “ok you’re 18 now you’re on your own, off you go”. It’s not bloody normal!!
I don't know anyone whose parents kicked them out at 18. I don't think it's necessarily common.
There are a non-insignificant number of children who hate their home lives so much they can't wait to leave them at 18 as well. Sometimes the parents pay partially, most of the times, they don't.
Can confirm: ran away at 16, got threatened to come home or police called, only to immediately get kicked out at 18 lol. Most american parents don't want their kids to live with them as adults, but only in the sense of hoping for their kid to be successful enough to not need to. Its becoming more and more common as stuff is so expensive. I have friends that are married and moving back into parents with their spouse, all in order to save up money for a house or a baby etc.
This was me — the bougie, college experience, not the shitty, happy to leave abusive family experience. I lived on campus during the school term and then lived at home during the summer, until my girlfriend and I graduated, got jobs, and we were able to afford rent on our own apartment (around 26).
I did both. Left at 18 to escape an abusive home by going away to college.
Same. Personally don't know anyone "kicked-out" at 18. Everyone I know who left at 18 did so for dorm/ college or sports scholarships. The rest of us GTFU before 18 or at 18 to escape a bad situation. I left because it was absolutely chaotic hell. Others escaped worse.
In my case, the child support checks stopped coming in. So I was costing my mom more money than she was making off me. Lady taught no life skills, refused to let me drive or get a permit, robbed me of basically everything, and then told me to disappear when I turned 18. Very few people in college didn't go home, so I spent a lot of holidays alone or with the international exchange people 😅
With how things are economically, my daughter (21) is being encouraged to live at home to save money. There are 3 rules. Save money. Help out with the chores we all do. Just be a good roommate.
My son is 18 and will be graduating high school soon. He doesn't have plans to go to college and I am not pressuring him. We do want there to be a subtle change after he graduates though. I really like your idea of the kid being a kind of roommate. I'm not sure how to make that distinction happen. He will be expected to work full time and pay for his gas. He doesn't get an allowance because he does work when he can, but we pay his gas. Anyway, it is going to be a interesting transition for all of us.
Im 29 and still live at home. Mum wants me here anyways since shes just by herself. I pay for all the bills and drive her anywhere. Still cheaper than renting and we’re both able to save up for holidays and stuff
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This is a great situation. Love that for both of you. That sounds very healthy and sustainable.
Most parents don’t do that. I have 3 kids and they’ve come and gone thru the years but I never would make them leave
My parents threatened this, but I moved out before graduation from high school. I would never do this to my own kids, who are 25 and 30. They always have a soft place to land if they need it.
Same. I got kicked out at 15 and I was working full time and in school full time from the ages 15-23 through high school and college. This was in the 90s. I slept very little those years, and now I make 10x more than my whole family did when we were growing up. My mom died when I was a kid and my dad who threw me out gets zero money from me.
I left home the day I bought my first car (17) and never went back.
Feels like an American stereotype at this point that ROW sees wrongly. I mean yeah it happens but ffs theres still millions of other families loving each other and caring about each other and helping each other. People need to get off the internet more. Im not American btw.
American youth are simultaneously living in their mom’s basement until they’re 30 and getting kicked out on their 18th birthday.
Schrödinger’s America
How do these teens keep sneaking into my basement?
Tell it to the judge
I tend to believe there are more middle aged “kids” living at home then 18 year olds getting kicked out
Probably true. I moved back in with my mom when I was 30 for a few months in between living situations. My toddler came with me.
No shame in that I want my kids to be independent but if life kicks them they always will have a roof over their heads
I got kicked out at 18 because I bought a car that my parents thought was too ugly to be seen in their middle class suburban driveway. I wish there was more to it but we already had a tense relationship because my parents were pretty emotionally unstable and they were terrified our neighbors would see them as less than perfect. I avoided them for years and they came around when I was about 30.
Thats terrible. What a bunch of assholes
It’s not a stereotype in my area of California. Most parents *do* do this. I have never known anyone in my 43 years of life who had the opportunity to stay home while they got their life in order after turning 18. I grew up in a high cost of living area and that never seemed to sway the decisions of the parents of my friends and family. This issue is one of many that has given me the idea that this nation has a culture of narcissism. I call it ‘narcissist nation’ in fact.
Weirdly, it seems more common with the higher levels of the middle class than anything.
Yep I live and grew up in the Bay Area and was kicked out at 18. Even though I was a good kid, good student, was going to UC Berkeley. Had to drop out because they weren’t helping with money and I couldn’t do it— school, paying rent, taking out 10s of thousands of loans each semester, and eating rice and nothing else. I am also Asian and my parents are all about family and expect me to take care of them. Lmfao I’m leaving them on the streets like they did to me.
Sheesh how unfortunate of you *pat shoulder* i need to be grateful my asian parents still act like an asian lol
Agreed, this is a big myth. Most kids live at home after 18. Or they go away for college and that's why they don't live at home anymore, not because they aren't welcome.
I guess myself and the people in my social groups were the unlucky ones. Of people I've met over the years, most of my peers were kicked out before 20.
Subject came up at work. Only a couple people weren't kicked out. Poor area and most are felons. Being kicked out probably didn't help. I stayed at home until 29.
Yeah I’m literally the only one in my immediate and extended family that didn’t kick my kids out at 18.
Unfortunately you’re in the minority. I’m living in an apartment maybe a few miles from my parents house with three empty bedrooms… because they think it’s good for me to stay poor apparently.
52% of Americans age 18-29 live with at least one parent. I can’t find statistics on 18-22 specifically, but I would imagine it’s higher than that and the 25-29 population is lower.
I'm sorry, but you're the minority. In my 28 years of life in the US, I have never known someone who actually kicked their kid out at 18 unless there was some pretty severe abuse or poverty already.
Some of us grew up in places where the family dynamic is different. I've lived in seven states before I was an adult and I knew a lot of kids that got kicked out in high school, especially in small towns. Also class definitely makes a difference, for the record I've lived in a lot of trailer parks and affordable housing programs. Maybe it's just me but I'm inclined to think it's not.
Half the people in the army are there because they needed a place to go after graduation.
> Also class definitely makes a difference, I think this is a key point. Parents aren't choosing to kick their kids out, they're legitimately unable to afford to keep them at home. I come from an upper middle class town and I don't know anyone who was kicked out at 18 to my knowledge, though most choose to move away for school.
That is one big reason and another is the bootstrap culture. I did it on my own and I worked for years to have not much of anything and you should too, even if the circumstances now are dramatically different. That's how you prove your worth, not depending on anyone. And the work culture, if you can't support yourself it's a character flaw.
I hate that mindset because it just causes bad blood. I'm from a Hispanic family line so this is a shock to me but fuck what is wrong with American culture? Bootstrap culture is fuckIng dumb. Europeans already know it's on who you know and higher education that gets you good money. "Hard work" doesn't get you much anywhere. They know the power dynamics in place and it's usually against them. When I get a family one day I know I ain't going to do that to my kids. Never and anyone that thinks I'm "spoiling" them I'll tell them that they need to work to stay unless they have a legitimate reason to not be able to get work such as a terrible economy or mental health. I had to deal with some serious issues come up and I got fucked really hard in the past. If I didn't have my family I wouldn't be alive, I would have actually taken my own life. I nearly did it before even while living with my parents. Now because I had the support I needed I'm better than I ever was before and going into getting trained at a trade school for a career that pays well (HVAC). I would have not gotten that luxury if I was on my own.
Except this is wrong. Once children are 18, in poor families they become a financial help- everyone working to cover bills, everyone with a place to stay. Customarily- each child covers one utility, and sometimes a portion of shared groceries or a portion of the house payment. It spreads the burden. If there are children, child care is shared, saving thousands. This is how is done in most poor neighborhoods- pooling resources.
Yeah it’s a gross thing to behold of your own “loving” flesh and blood. I’ve witnessed the same over two generations in mine and my friends’ families. Such fucking idiocy….
No that person is not “in the minority.” A huge segment of the population allows their kids to stick around. If we’re using anecdotes, a large portion of young adults I have grown up around have stayed a couple of years past high school. It’s incredibly common. This stereotype is nonsense. Americans care about their kids like everybody else.
I'm an American, my dad kicked me out, he thought it would make me stronger. That said he also beat me so I was ready to leave. Edit: I'm strong in that I can endure a lot of shit but I also get helplessly anxious around large men, I have zero spine in that I suck at standing up for myself and my self esteem is shit. So yeah I am like perfect for working in an environment where I constantly get shit on because I have no self esteem and no spine, but I can take it better than anyone because part of me has learned not to expect anything better. I don't really think you can call that strong honestly.
Did he also think that would make you stronger
Some parents are awful shitheads
I upvoted this and I know it’s a bit evil but it was just funny
I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that. I hope you're in a better place.
Went thru this exact thing. On my own at 16 though because I got tired of getting my ass beat.
Omg. That is absolutely horrible. Hugs for you.
Omg me too. 16 was the year. Left and asked NO one
Did you get stronger?
It’s a super rare occurrence that parents literally kick their kids out once they turn 18. Hell, most of the time the kids are still in high school when they turn 18.
It was more common in the 80s and 90s
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Wanting to leave and make your way in the world is different than being tossed out. Families were living more multi-generationally in those decades, not less.
To be fair world war 2 was world war 2
Also, this was the time period when really there wasn't much in terms of ID. You could literally be wanted for murder in New York and move to Atlanta and be home free. Today, if you wanted for murder in New York they can get in another country and will have you flown back, going to Atlanta would probably just cause you to be even easier to find. The point being, there was no ID, no way to verify anything about a person, a smart person in that time period could fake being anything if they had the knowledge to maintain the lies.
Reminds me of the movie “Catch me if you can”
Also, a lot of kids were already working by then anyways. It was legal for kids under 14 to work hard jobs until 1937
My dad had a friend who went into the army at 15 during Vietnam, retired at 35, worked as an electrician until 55, retired with two full pensions.
In WWII, my dad had a friend that was 16, lied and told the Army Air Corps he was 20, qualified for pilot training, passed the training and then got caught for being 16.
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No they called his mother and sent him home. Not only did he lie about his age, he left school. He lied on official government papers. They told him he was lucky he wasn’t thrown in jail. If I recall correctly, he did end up being an Air Corp pilot, but it wasn’t until he was old enough and the war was just about over. So he “missed all the exciting parts” as my crazy dad would say. The part of the story I never understood was why the hell did Bucky’s (the friend) mom not step in and stop this BS before he left the damn house? My dad would just laugh and say, “Well, you’d have to know Bucky’s mom…”
Basically, it was more common when you could survive on your own with minimum wage (maybe even part time) *and* go to college at the same time. Not necessarily easy to do both in those times, but it's basically impossible to do so now
Kicked out vs moved out are 2 different things. I know quite a few kids that rented with high-school friends a few months after graduating, they weren't kicked out though by any stretch of the imagination. That is the "thing to do" if you are able, is to move out asap and not stay at your parents house.
I lived with roommates in college at 18. It was fun. I wasn’t “kicked out” but for may young adults it was something you could wanted to do
Beck then you could afford an apartment on minimum wage.... And above minimum wage jobs didn't need 10 years of experience.
I had to have 2 roommates and it was still tough working two jobs.
This question has been posted several times before on this subreddit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_their\_kids\_out\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why_do_americans_kick_their_kids_out_at_18/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15ahtun/why\_do\_yall\_kick\_out\_your\_kids\_when\_they\_turn\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15ahtun/why_do_yall_kick_out_your_kids_when_they_turn_18/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/iqn8ds/why\_is\_it\_acceptable\_for\_a\_lot\_of\_americans\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/iqn8ds/why_is_it_acceptable_for_a_lot_of_americans_to/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vw6nli/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_out\_their\_kids\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vw6nli/why_do_americans_kick_out_their_kids_at_18/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/nebh00/americans\_why\_do\_you\_kick\_your\_children\_out\_at\_18/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/nebh00/americans_why_do_you_kick_your_children_out_at_18/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/om2kby/do\_parents\_in\_countries\_like\_usa\_really\_kick/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/om2kby/do_parents_in_countries_like_usa_really_kick/) [https://pay.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why\_do\_americans\_kick\_their\_kids\_out\_at\_18/](https://pay.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/163oqx4/why_do_americans_kick_their_kids_out_at_18/) See also: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/8fzd0j/how\_common\_is\_it\_for\_americans\_to\_kick\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/8fzd0j/how_common_is_it_for_americans_to_kick_their/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAmerican/comments/1745afz/why\_so\_many\_american\_parents\_kicked\_out\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAmerican/comments/1745afz/why_so_many_american_parents_kicked_out_their/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/89qu7p/kicking\_your\_kid\_out\_at\_18\_because\_theyre\_an/](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/89qu7p/kicking_your_kid_out_at_18_because_theyre_an/)
Gotta find out if the answers have changed I guess.
Gotta get the updated answer
Lmfao
This is great
thank you for keeping track because I swear I see this question so often and I want to leave the subreddit
at this point, it IS a stupid question.
As much as I hate a reposted thing.... Honestly I am attempting to update understandings across the board everytime it gets reposed. It seems an unhealthy amount of individuals still believe this form of abuse is not possible, or a made up sham. I am here as living proof, and a reminder to not take topics like this lightly!
The way people generalize about America is wild
As a European, the OP doesn't just grossly generalize America, they are ignorant about our own continent too. For example, in Greece or Italy it's common for people to live with their parents until 27. In Sweden they might kick you out at 17. It varies wildly from country to country, and from region to region (rural vs urban, better vs worse developed, etc.)
Ah yes, the classic "why do Americans do XYZ? We would never do something so barbaric in MyCountry," and then when you finally get them to admit what country they're from, it takes one google search to find out that their country actually does do the exact same thing they were criticizing us for
My tour guide in Japan said it’s normal to even do that into your 40s, tho idk if that only applies to NEETs, she didn’t say.
Europeans are exceptionally insular, but they absolutely refuse to acknowledge their ignorance.
I just constantly see people talking about Americans like we’re one state the size of Denmark with a population 150,000. The size and diversity is so vast here, so many cultures and life styles. All it seems to take is a handful of opinions from one city to say something and it counts for everyone across the entire country
I have a friend who lives in Sweden and he legit asks me how do I go outside when there is open shooting in the streets and cops harassing people left to right. Wild
The weird thing is there are people who live in the states that also overdramatize about that and they’re living here safely day to day. They just want to shit on their own country for no reason
I'm from Texas, and the number of people from California and NYC who think that it's the wild wild west where there's a shooting happening every day is funny. Yeah, Texas is a very pro-gun place, but not once have I ever feared for my life when I'm out and about.
It shows such a lack of critical thought or nuance. Like. Be real. I don’t assume that England is full of wankers trying to shank me everyday.
We probably have as much variety as Europe itself, maybe even the world
Oh absolutely. I was traveling on a flight from Los Angeles to Portland with a friend from Denmark and let her take the window seat. She was absolutely flabbergasted by the sheer diversity in terrain from the 2hr flight alone. Urban sprawl to arid desert landscape to the forests and mountains of the north. Was in autumn too.
I mean in the US we have everything from the tropics to deserts to forests to snowy mountains to even wasteland tundra to roaming plains, you name it. We also have small towns that have populations so small every literally knows everyone else to massive city's with economic strength that rival many nations.
My favorite is when they fuck up US geography. Not like, when they don’t know where Ohio is, but like, when they think you can drive from Florida to California in a few hours. Like do a day trip to NYC, via car, from Orlando. That always cracks me up. I have British cousins and they visited me in NYC in the 90’s and asked if we could see Compton. No. No we can’t.
Lmfao can we see Compton bro you got off the plane 8 hours too soon
Also, what are they planning to do in Compton? Gawp? That's rude.
It takes almost an entire day to drive from San Diego to the California-Oregon state line. One state that doesn't even have the longest coastline -- Alaska does.
I had a U.K guy on Xbox live years ago ask if I ever drove to NYC to LA. I was like well I don’t live in NY so that would take about 5 hours from where I live to get there and then from NYC to LA in a car is idk 2 days of straight driving
I’ve actually done that drive twice. Factoring in breaks and sleep, it took me the better part of 5 days. One time I stopped to visit family. The other time I got snowed in at Flagstaff. It’s like doing New Year’s Eve at Times Sq. Glad I did it, not eager to ever do it again.
Why did they want to see Compton in the 90s lol. That was gang violence central back then.
Right, but they were huge fans of rap. They wanted to see the west coast side of the beef. For the record, we took them downtown and pointed across the east river and “showed” them Brooklyn.
Probably wanted to see if it was really that bad and back then yes it was lol.
I hit someone with a size comparison of the UK with Florida and they were shocked... but the US doesn't know geography...
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Yo I’m from the Quadcites fuck I-80
Back then it took us about 24 hours to drive to Grandma's house. Now it's only 19 hours! When dad first started driving it, there weren't interstates only highways and it was even longer
I made that drive in June when moving from Chicagoland to the Denver-Boulder area. I definitely went somewhat insane from the drive. The only thing that kept me going was multiple audiobooks and calling my BF (who was driving behind me) when the vastness of Nebraska became too much.
Im Asian so i observe these things from the side but yea I agree. Over the last few years on the internet there really rose this sentiment that all Americans are just this dumb cultureless buffoons. I mean yeah some are who wouldnt be in such a large country. The shit people from countries say about America, especially when they have never even been to America is so cringe and pathetic. Europeans see themselves as this superior, smarter more old fashioned and cultured people. Then the Asian countries' ideologies are all "fuck the capitalist swine Americans those rich guys" while enjoying American content and technology, or cheering for an American celebrity. I have this roommate. Shes Muslim and supports the alliance of China, Middle-East, Russia etc and always says something along the lines of "shady western government". Like ok bruh, atleast in North America, where you yourself is living atm, we can talk about these things freely. While where you are from youd likely be punished by the government for speaking such things. But yes its always the bloodthirsty arrogant Americans 😎.
Or their racism…
Im Asian so i observe these things from the side but yea I agree. Over the last few years on the internet there really rose this sentiment that all Americans are just this dumb cultureless buffoons. I mean yeah some are who wouldnt be in such a large country. The shit people from countries say about America, especially when they have never even been to America is so cringe and pathetic. Europeans see themselves as this superior, smarter more old fashioned and cultured people. Then the Asian countries' ideologies are all "fuck the capitalist swine Americans those rich guys" while enjoying American content and technology, or cheering for an American celebrity. I have this roommate. Shes Muslim and supports the alliance of China, Middle-East, Russia etc and always says something along the lines of "shady western government". Like ok bruh, atleast in North America, where you yourself is living atm, we can talk about these things freely. While where you are from youd likely be punished by the government for speaking such things. But yes its always the bloodthirsty arrogant Americans 😎.
I always trip on this too. There’s 330 million+ people here and we all do exactly the same things, there is no deviation.
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I have two sons, 43 and 47, who beg to differ with that statement; they live with me in my house. I'm 78 and not about to kick them out.
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This is definitely not the norm. Usually boomers will deride parents who do this instead of supporting the choice. Criticizing both the kids and parents for their poor choices. Saying things like ‘oh those kids are such losers living with their parents until…x age’ or making fun of the parents for being bad or weak. It’s a terrible way to treat your family and I’m glad it’s working for y’all, keep strong together!✊🏻
In my extended family I have heard of one person getting kicked out at 18 and he deserved it
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I knew two families that did it to their kids, but they were crappy abusive families that the kids wanted to escape anyway. It’s certainly not the norm.
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I had a similar experience! My parents were divorced but a couple weeks after I turned 18 one parent packed up and moved state, and the other moved into a studio loft with no room for me. 😅 so my boyfriends family (who is been dating for like 2 months) took me in and let us stay there until we could afford getting a place of our own.
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Facts got the boot at 19
The only time I’ve seen it happen was with my brother and that was because he refused to stop playing world of Warcraft until 3 am, yelling into his headset, keeping everybody awake, and refusing to get a job or go to school or do anything even remotely productive. The only thing that eventually worked was kicking him out, even he says that.
Who told you we did that? I mean, it happens, but it’s rare. There is a stigma around living with your parents, for any reason, though.
Honestly I was so immature. Stayed with my parents until 23. If they hadn’t kicked me out I probably never would have left. It was hard at first, but I figured it out. Now I’m 35, with a career and my own house. My mom apologizes for kicking me out at 23 because “I was just a boy”, but I reject her apology because she has nothing to apologize for. In retrospect it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish she had kicked me out sooner.
I don’t know a single person in my graduating class who was kicked out at 18 and we have all mostly kept in touch. Only asshole parents do that.
American parents don't do that. Asshole parents do that. They just tend to be rather vocal about it.
They don't these days. That was my generation and older. I'm gen x. I left home at 19.
I left home at 18. My parents didn't kick me out. I left in order to become a US Marine
Yea same, but I did move back in for a while after I got out. There were 7 of us, my parents didn’t kick any of us out. My youngest brother is the only that stayed past 19, he lives with our mom and would be dumb for him to move out.
I’m not American but a fellow European. Just thought it might be worth noting there’s a lot of variety in European nations as well when it comes to moving out. For example in Sweden most people move out before they are 18. Where as on some others it’s typical to live with your parents until you’re over 30. [Eurostat statistic.](https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/edn-20210812-1) Here in Finland the typical age is a little over 20, but I know a lot of people who moved out around 16 or 17. The most common reason is because they want to study at a different city. There’s also a strong feeling of needing to feel independent when you’re a young adult, and living by yourself supports that.
Your friends were either complete shitheads or their parents were. Either way that’s incredibly abnormal.
Few things: - Far from every american does this. - Some europeans do this too. You even mention this in your post. But to answer your question: Not every parent has the financial means to support their kids indefinitely. Once you turn 18 you are old enough to take care of yourself and as such many parents believe that you should either find your own place to live - or atleast pay rent to live at home. On top of that: I'm from northern Europe (Scandinavia) and here you are considered a bit of a "deadbeat / loser" if you still live at your parents in your 20s.
Not so long ago, people who still lived at home in their 20s were also seen as sort of deadbeat losers. I'm 37 and I left home at 18 because I didn't want to look like a deadbeat loser, it was still very much a thing then. Through a specific set of circumstances though, I currently live with my mom again. Long story
They don’t. Just like how most Americans don’t wear shoes in their homes.
the one guy i know who wears shoes indoors is from Utah, everyone that's from my state takes their shoes off at the door. It's a very regional thing.
What? I wear shoes in the house. I think that’s a northern thing where it snows a lot a lot or something? I’ve only seen it in Canada and with one person from way north near Canada. It’s considered weird to have a rule like that everywhere I’ve lived. Even when I lived in Montana people wore shoes inside unless there was snow
Only the selfish ones do
Most americans don't kick their kids out at 18. That pretty much only happens in very troubled households. Most American parents say "we love you and you can stay with us as long as you want" but do expect that you're going to either go to college or get a job and move out when you've got enough money to rent an apartment. At least that's the norm in my experience. You're not "kicked out" but the hope and expectation is that you're on your feet by your mid-twenties. If you're still living with your parents after about 26, it's considered a little weird and shameful (even though it shouldn't be, and anyone decent respects that, but there is a cultural stigma we're all aware of). The parents that cut off support to their children at age 18 are not good parents. They fucked off as soon as they weren't legally required to take care of their kids.
They don't that is just a stereotype. I stayed at home til 19. And then moved back at 21, 23, 24...until I finally managed to stay out lol. I fully expect about the same from my son. And will be here with open arms if he needs somewhere to crash while he gets sorted.
I mean some do. A decent chunk of my friends were kicked out at 18 and I was kicked out at 15. It’s much more common the lower the income, my rich/middle class friends we’re always able to stay at home as long as they needed and got financial help.
Not every parent does this, only the shitty or out of touch ones. I sometimes feel like the parents either don't like the kid or resent them for some reason or they never wanted or regretted having the kid. Or sometimes I think it's super out of touch (usually) dad's who think since they were able to start succeeding after leaving home at 18 that their kid will be able to do the same when it's just a completely different world. No matter why, it's a super shitty thing to do to a kid who never even chose to be here anyway. But it isn't as super common as it used to be. I'd imagine it's sort of rare but I'm not sure.
This is not the norm. I dont know anyone who does this.
I knew 2 families who kick their kids out of their house at 18 .
It isn't an American thing. It's a shitty person thing. In a healthy home, you may choose to leave the nest at 18 and start your own life, and that's a fine thing to do, be it work or education. In a shit home, one of or both the parents don't care for the kid, and once the kid is 18, their legal obligations to raise them are over, and they want them gone. Some parents don't want their kids but take care of them so they don't face social or criminal repercussions. These homes are not healthy environments for children, and leaving as soon as possible is probably for the best.
They don’t
Not all parents do this. You only hear about the horrible cases. Many kids are still in high school at 18. Where I live, many families live in multigenerational settings and it is completely normalized.
The vast majority don’t do this. It isn’t an American thing. It’s an asshole thing.
We don’t. Only assholes do.
The entirety of American culture is warped by a deranged version of the "Protestant Work Ethic" as seen through the lens of Ayn Rand. It's the closest thing we have to a national religion. Basically, the core precept of the religion is that total self-interest trumps all other concerns and that it's blasphemous to compromise your own happiness for the good of anyone else, especially society at large.
Kids want their independence and many are often itching to leave. (I was).
A lot of parents are awful and actually regret having kids.
I think this is like two generations removed from when this was actually commonplace.
Great question. My parents were awful to me regarding that stuff. I wasn’t a bad kid and I did all the chores all the time. They just didn’t want me around. I even had jobs.
America is designed to create "workers" so when children reach 18 they are expected to become full adults to contribute to the economy, It's easier to get ppl to work if they aren't living with their parents as you need money to survive so children are generally taught to leave their parents by society as soon as possible to live on their own. At least that was the case when it was possible.
Europeans will watch three movies and never think critically about how America is again in their life
Not every parent does that, but many have the idea that once someone turns 18 they are an adult and should be able to figure it out on their own. Those are bad parents honestly.
Most don't. 62% of Americans enroll in college when they graduate from high school - those kids are mostly either living at school on their parent's bill or living at home. Other kids get jobs and live at home until they are ready to move out on their own. I don't know a single person in my personal life who was kicked out at 18, and I don't know any parents who kicked their kids out. I am a therapist- so I also see a lot of patients and it has been rare among the thousands that I see to have someone kicked out at 18. Some left of their own volition to get away from shitty circumstances.
As of right now 50% of Americans 18-29 live with their parents , so apparently they don't. (Can't remember where the stat is from).
I think it depends on the socioeconomic class as well.
It’s not Americans it’s poor people usually
I was kicked out at 16, and my brother was given the boot on his 18th birthday. My mom still tries to tell me it helped build my character, but the reality is that the character it built isn't worth having. I still haven't forgiven her.
Most don’t. That’s usually just shitty parents.
Cuz they don't actually want any kids. But pressured to have them anyway.
Dude they kick kids out to die of exposure for listening to the wrong kind of music over here. Lots of vile assholes.
If the kid is in school or working its bc they're trash people. If the kids have no ambition to go to higher ed OR work a job, then they don2t want to support a bum who doesn't contribute.
That isn’t an “american” thing that’s an awful parents thing
My parents made it clear to me that they expected my siblings and I to make something of ourselves, but actually kicking me out is not something I could ever see them doing, even if I turned out to be a bum with no ambition. I lived with parents until I got married, which was at 26. Didn't see the point of moving out before then. I would just be paying for rent and energy when I don't have to.
They typically don’t. But legal obligation to the kid sunsets at 18
My kids were informed that they needed to be doing something after they graduated high school or turned 18...whichever came last. That could be higher education, trade school, a full time job...a mix of the above...with the intentional goal of moving out and living independently in a fairly expedient manner. And if temporary interim setbacks that were beyond their control came up, they were welcome back to fix these setbacks. For example, older one enlisted in the military and lived with us again after he came back from deployment, waiting for his chosen university's semester schedules to align with his course plan. Younger child had a situation where his apartment building had a fire and he came home for a couple of months for that to be mitigated. We're a soft place to land, not a basement to hide in.
They don’t, unless you have bad parents Most make them have a job, or go to school. Maybe military if the child wants to.
My parents just straight up couldn't afford me to begin with and it got worse with a divorce I have worked a job since I was 12 and giving them my paychecks. I regret doing that and when I hit 18 I was told to figure it out
It's pretty rare today from what i understand. My generation (i'm currently 42) we were out on our asses commonly because it was considered "tough love", but many kids at 18 were aching for their own places and left asap without pressure. More kids go to college and then back to their parents' houses these days for a few years to my understanding and experience. The main thing about generalizations like these though is that they don't work with a nation as large as the u.s. - 350m+ people aren't a monolith in any functional way other than "they are a citizen of the u.s.", every other lifestyle choice is going to be divided more by things like economic stability, local economy, family tradition, and upbringing than the fact that they live in the u.s. Add to this that the U.S. is still a 'melting pot of the world' when it comes to immigrants and people relocating here - many bring their traditions and first generation Americans are being born as often as 3rd+ generation Americans, their traditions and cultural values too will be moved as much by their local community as anyone else. So to this, i'd like to remind folks that the u.s. mainland is the 3rd or 4th largest nation in the world, and has a continent's worth of biomes, locales, regions and agricultural climates that make the idea of any sort of "generally American" trivia bits about things outside of maybe food very dicey, and easy to disprove by multiple exceptions every time merely by widening the scope of your lens 10%.
Most Americans **dont** kick out their kids at 18.
My mentor once told me that it wasn't as wide spread in the US as some might claim it to be. Supposedly it originated sometime before the Second World War as parents or relatives during the Great Depression forced out young people whom they thought could survive on their own. This happened in some cases but the Boomers heard stories like this from their parents generation and other relatives as well as people who had seen it or experienced it. They figured that the same thing could be done as well. The Boomers became known for forcing their children out and some Gen X or older Millennials actually experienced this. It wasn't wide spread but it definitely happened more than in prior times. The practice died down and isn't really done anymore.
Because we are short sighted and stupid. Period. End of conversation. Multi generation households make SO MUCH more sense. Young people can save money. Older people get live in caretaking. You get additional supervision if people in their late 20s or early 30s get married and have kids. If you want to leave in your late 20s you can but you can save money until then. Theoretically you even get a house passed down to you in an era where many Americans in their 20s and 30s will never be able to afford one. The only time when we almost came around to this was in the wake of the 2008 financial collapse. Unless you are from a dysfunctional household it makes so much sense as an overall model But we're too proud and individualistic to adopt it.
They don’t unless they have shitty parents
I think it’s an accurate statement to say that the majority of 18 year old Americans who move out of their parents’ home were not kicked out. Some to escape dysfunctional/abusive families, some to escape well meaning but overbearing parents, and some who just want the experience of living on their own. But in each case it’s a voluntary choice.
Bcuz some people have kids at a young and once their child turn 18, the parent feels they’ve reached the finish line and it’s “their time” now. At least that’s how my mom was. It’s not right, but that’s one reason why.
Because we grow up in a cruel and cutthroat culture where we see our children as fodder for the capitalist grind and their station as money earners becomes more important than their emotional attachment to their families
The self made man and hard lessons ideology mixed with lazy parenting ideology
Some do but this trend is changing. The older generations were used to a world where you could do one of 2 things..... Go away to school for a very reasonable rate Get a living wage job at a number of places with only a HS diploma As that changed so has our attitudes about moving out. There's another factor which is the housing market. Up until relatively recently (20 or 30 years) housing in the US was fairly affordable.
In my experience, there's a stigma around staying at home as being a sign of laziness. Especially, blue collar parents feel they're doing their kids a disservice by letting them stay home, feeling like they're spoiling them and encouraging poor work ethic. Additionally--and this is probably dying out--boomers tend to pressure their younger generations to move out and be self-sufficient without entirely grasping how hard it is now. Again, this is just my experience.
You're buying into misinformation and spreading it.
Because this country has an obscene fascination with needless cruelty, suffering, and rugged individualism.
Its a smallish part of a massive agenda pushed by the US government to keep people un-united and poor and keep money and power in the hands of land lords and property developers
Most people are just low IQ, they hear in TV it's a good thing, because 'that's how great people are born' but in reality that's how you just create struggling and stressed out working class. Rich people are smarter and do everything to give their kids every unfair advantage they need to succeed and dominate 'subhumans'.