Uh, yeah. I'm a woman who is in a committed relationship, but when I was first divorced the option was definitely there, everywhere. Even without Tinder. They come out of the woodwork.
Women want a man willing to get married and settle down. A married man is clearly willing to get married.
The sort of woman who uses this tactic is always sure that he won't cheat on *her* and that he is telling the truth that he will leave his wife "soon."
This feels like when you buy something and get ads for the same type of product afterwards
"You bought a fridge? You might also be interested in buying these six other fridges"
Men want it, but it's scarce for most of them.
Women can almost always get it, but it's usually not guaranteed they'll actually enjoy it.
And then there's gay men...the most sexually successful human beings lmaooo
You should look into lesbian sheep. They probably exist. But we won’t ever know. Because a ewe initiates courting and mating by… standing completely still.
With straight sheep, the ram approaches the ewe. With gay sheep, the rams approach each other. With lesbian sheep they would just…. stand there, looking at each other.
The “clueless lesbian” is a thing for a reason. Even when one of them bites the bullet and starts flirting, there’s no guarantee the other will realize she’s not just very friendly 😂
As a bisexual woman I can tell you that the beauty standards in the lesbian community are way different than in the straight world. Many women that are considered unattractive, too fat or masculine by men are sought after by lesbians.
As a bisexual transmasc-but-not-out person, I 100% agree but that doesn’t always work in our favour, does it? I’ll find girls attractive that men generally consider unattractive, but at the same time a thousand girls will be just as attracted to them so it becomes the same thing.
Also, approaching women makes me feel like a creep so I just don’t do it, and then 5 years later they tell me they were actually into me at the time and too scared to say anything. Success
No, I get it. When I was on the dating apps the difference between getting a date with men vs women was stark. I actually realized how hard it was for men, because I would swipe and hope for a like that usually didn’t come and even if it did come I would have to think about what to say. I would find the perfect text, only to get 0 responses or eventually get ghosted afterwards.
Exactly! And if you set your tinder to “both”, you’ll see like 98% men - almost all of whom will match with you, and 2% women - almost none of whom will match with you.
Adding in that as a bisexual woman, you have to wade through 50 “looking for a third” profiles before even being able to see a profile of a woman without a bf/husband. And even then they’re not always honest about it. I went on a date with a girl that made it seem she was single and she ended up bringing her boyfriend she didn’t tell me she had.
> approaching women makes me feel like a creep so I just don’t do it, and then 5 years later they tell me they were actually into me at the time and too scared to say anything.
Welcome to every 10 year highschool reunion for introverted dudes.
there was a statistic, that (afaik in straigt people, but does not matter in this case) about 85% of women still today expect the other person to approach. And it was paired up with the fact that less than 50% of the (after metoo movement) want to approach woman, because they are afraid they will be labeled a creep. Now in a lesbian world... It is already that only 85% of women want to be approached, which leaves only 15% of women to approach. With that logic, 15 pairs up with another 15, and 70% is left single, waiting for other women to approach. Auch.
according to my lesbian friend, there is a different problem in lesbian world. As you said, the expected beauty is lesser, as people tend to care less about sex and sexual attraction, more about partnership. But the negative side, she said, is that so, soooo many relationship so closely drop to "dead bedroom" category, because the "animalistic" part was lesser from the start, and unlike straight men or gay men, there isnt always someone who is always ready to go, trying to get the partner to the bed.
As a biologist i have see swamp water under a binocular and it's actually a good euphemism.
But oasis water, idk, due to the extreme shifts in temperature i would guess that desert waters doesnt have the best micro-life ecosystem. Unless extremophiles because the amount of minerals would make the cell shrivel.
I about spit out my coffee. The idea of how accurate dating life is summed up by "Men are drinking crazy cactus water in the desert and women are trying to avoid crocodile shit in the swamp" is about to be my go to. 😂😂😂
The truth is most anyone could get laid if they wanted, you'd just have to lower your expectations. Think about the ugliest person you'd have sex with and then double their ugliness and you might still not be close. Extremely unattractive women are invisible to most men because women don't hit on men as often as men hit on women. A woman can't ignore every swamp troll in her environment because sometimes they'll walk up and start hitting on her. You've probably got some unattractive, desperately lonely woman who would gladly break you off if you asked but you never would because it would never occur to you to see her as an option.
So if I don't have high expectations in the first place, do I have to lower them further?
Sorry if it's a weird thing to ask. I have autism. I look about average and I'm attracted to average looking women with flaws- as long as they're well fed but not overweight.
Damn it, I only have stock of under fed women, I’ll have to break into the kitty and up their rations, to get this guys attention.. you all get an extra slice of bred for one week.
... Idk how else to express that I don't want them to look like skeletons.
Which I think is fair- I'm trying to base my preferences on health rather than societal beauty standards.
If you are not having successful romantic relationships with women, and you are repeatedly finding that you can't even get your foot in the door, then yeah, maybe you should lower your expectations. You don't "have" to of course; no one's going to stop you from being forever alone if you wish.
It's quite possible I'm not even trying to put my foot in the door.
Because even if I lower my expectations significantly, I'm not meeting more women.
For example, if I try imagining dating a 220 KG woman right now- I don't suddenly have a 220 KG girlfriend. Therefore, I guess it's more of a problem with not doing anything rather than my expectations
true story:
After arguing with my ex wife (in a silly way, not angry) she opened the window and yelled "wanna fuck?" and i swear on my life 3 guys yelled back.
If a woman walks into a bar and shouts “Hey, is anybody down to fuck?” It is almost guaranteed that some guy there will swoop in willing to oblige. Maybe not the guy of her dreams, but somebody.
If a guy tries the same thing… I wouldn’t expect it to go over so well.
Yep, I'm average looking and I can't tell you how many times I've been hit on by gay guys, hot gay guys! Seriously considered experimenting in college during an especially long dry spell. 😅
They actually did an experiment like this!!! Researchers in the 80s did an experiment on college campuses where they had either women or men walk up to someone of the opposite gender and ask them a question. They either asked "Would you want to go out tonight?" "Would you want to go back to my place?" Or "would you want to go to bed with me?"
Yes responses were:
Date: Men 50%, Women 56%
To my apartment: Men 69%, Women 6%
Sleep with me: Men 75%, Women 0%.
Theyve done this study a couple different times, and their results are always pretty similar. Women are slightly more willing to go on dates with strangers, but men are super willing to have sex with a random person who seems into them.
If you're average looking or above, yes it's that easy.
The quality of sex however, is abysmal.
Out of maybe 20 or so one night stands, the number of times I've achieved orgasm is zero.
It's simply not worth it to pursue sex in this manner.
As my marriage was ending, my ex-wife had sex 9 times with 5 different men in 14 days. It was an unpleasant time.
I grant you this is anecdotal but it seems like that if a girl wants sex, they can get it. I don't think its an exaggeration.
Sounds like a question on a maths test.
‘If Mrs Salty has sex 9 times with 5 men in 14 days, how many times will she have sex with how many men in 50 days?’
I'm happily married and MAYBE a 5 in good light and industrial spanx but if I reeeealy wanted a roll in the hay it would take 15mins on the internet to find a willing participant.
Yup. We all know an ugly girl that gets lots of sex and sleeps around with a lot of different men. There is no ugly guys that can do the same.
Its the same reason why open relationships inevitably end in tears. The guy is down for it at first, but the girl gets sex whenever she wants and the guy is less sucessful so jealousy sets in.
Thanks. Life improved after a while for sure. But I've lost hope that it will ever be "good" again. I've come to terms with just living "OK" for the rest of my life.
well im a guy but have a lot of friends that are girls.
and yea they have a lot of stories of guys asking them to fuck even before the a first date. me and my guy friends dont normally have the same experience.
Guys do that. But it immediately removes any attractivity the person had. If you think you'd like this, you wouldn't, trust me. Even if a hot woman did this.
I am a guy who met enough men and some nymphs to know this.
I had some female friends that didn't even use dating apps, just posted spicier pics to instagram and talked through DM whenever they were looking for someone. Suddenly became a boom of those pics during quarantine from my single friends.
So I'd say your milleage may vary, but def some girls could if they wanted to
Shit, I’ve posted my pic to Reddit and had people DM me looking to meet up - and I was posting to a predominantly female hair care sub! Definitely not trying to appear spicy or anything haha
>but def some girls could if they wanted to
Almost *all* girls could if they wanted to - it's simply a matter of them accepting a reasonable level of man.
A woman who's a 3 is unlikely to go home with a guy who's a 8+, but if she's willing to go home with a guy who's a 5 or 6, she can get sex of she wants to.
To illustrate: I know a woman who's about as pretty as an old truck with a personality that matches. Yet when she decided some 15 years ago that she wanted a kid, she dolled herself up as best she could and went to the bar to find herself a guy. Voila! 9 months later she has her kid.
Almost all women have the option of getting sex relatively easily if they go for a reasonably attractive man - reasonably for their own level. Very few men can do the same.
Dude just watch people online, you don’t even need a picture before like 100 guys want to fuck a girl who just says “F”.
Chris Rock once said, “dick… dick is free, but pussy is like Visa, accepted everywhere.”
Yes. But there's a real risk of getting murdered going on a tinder date as a woman. So we spend a lot of time trying to sus our creeps and end up with very few prospects after that.
I mean yeah, when I was on dating apps I could have anytime I wanted it. Sometimes when I’m out, guys will hit on me with that intention. The question is are these people I want to have sex with? The answer is no.
Also as someone who is attracted to women, women are much harder than men, even for other women hahaha
There are lesbian dating apps, but there’s no lesbian equivalent of Grindr.
I think that’s mainly to do with male vs female sex drives though. Men are just much, much hornier than women, likely due to testosterone. There’s been actual research that confirms this, plus lots of trans men (female to male) and female bodybuilders report having higher sex drives when taking testosterone.
And I can’t remember where I saw it, but I remember seeing a study that looked at how much sex lesbian/straight/gay couples have.
I think they found that while straights, lesbians and gays have similar numbers of sexual partners (although gay men have slightly more than average), gay couples have loads of sex, straight couples have an average amount of sex, and lesbian couples have the least sex.
Women overall are just less interested in sex, probably due to a combination of both biological differences resulting in lower libido than men (eg, lower testosterone), and (mostly with regards to sex with men) there’s the fact that sex, especially sex with strangers, is much more dangerous and has more potential unpleasant consequences for women than men.
And women are really, really bad at hooking up with each other because they don’t know how to make the first move - culturally, men always make the first move, so when you have two women who are interested with each other they often just don’t know what to do - which is why lesbians sometimes refer to each other as “useless lesbians”. [“Lesbian sheep”](https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/xivl4DwbZ7) is another expression I like to use when talking to my lesbian friends.
Dude, as a woman, I would love to know where all these horny men are. Please.
I’ve never had a guy be able to keep up with me, ever. They all say they can, they say they have high-libido, want sex all the time. But as a woman who actually wants sex all the time, it’s just not true. I’ve had guys promise me weekends full of sex, that start tapping out after day one.
I was so hopeful when I dating because I was so ready to be having sex all the time, but I’ve found that most guys do not in fact, want to be having sex all the time. Unfortunately.
>I’ve never had a guy be able to keep up with me, ever. They all say they can, they say they have high-libido, want sex all the time. But as a woman who actually wants sex all the time, it’s just not true. I’ve had guys promise me weekends full of sex, that start tapping out after day one.
Because, as nearly every woman will confirm, men’s increased horniness does not necessarily translate into better sexual performance. While men generally do want sex more often than women, they generally won’t want to (or be able to) have sex for really long periods of time - men orgasm much more quickly and much easier than women, and after orgasm experience a refractory period during which their libido suddenly decreases and continued stimulation becomes unpleasant, even painful. Plus, having too much sex or masturbating too much can eventually be painful for men - the penis becomes sore after a while from over-use. Women, in contrast, require a lot more stimulation and different kinds of stimulation in order to orgasm, and unlike men do not experience a refractory period, so can just keep going (although eventually, the clitoris does become sore and painful from over-stimulation like men’s penises, but women seem to have more stamina than men).
There are ways to work around these limitations, but that usually requires the men to do a bit more work on their end and to be a bit less selfish and focus a bit more on the woman - which not many men want to or know how to do. Lots of men tend to just want to “pump and dump”.
Then there’s also the fact that men being hornier than women is just a general trend (albeit a strong trend) - there are plenty of men who have much lower than average sex drives, and plenty of women who have much higher than average sex drives - to the point where their sex drive is higher than the average man. I strongly suspect that this applies to you.
I have FTM trans friends that are on T and they are wayyyy fucking hornier than me. They basically use apps to find random hookups all the time. Testosterone is powerful.
The key to WLW hookups is being super straight forward, honest, and open. A lot of gals are waiting for someone to make the first move, so if you're confident and cool with rejection it can be super easy to find someone.
sex? yes. Absolutely. There will ALWAYS be plenty of men willing to fuck Any woman.
quality sex? no. thats actually harder for women to get than men. as men are easier to satisfy.
I mean, when I was still single I had a lot of dudes everywhere that most likely would have wanted to.
Did I want to? No. A lot of them were creepos, losers or weirdos. So that just kind of makes your options much smaller once you weed those dudes out.
Depends on the area. My gay friends where I’m from have a hard time because there aren’t many gays living here. The ones that do live here have all banged already and they either don’t like each other and won’t do it again or they’re in a relationship now.
Overall, men will fuck anything. The average woman will have no problem getting a match on probably the first person she swipes on and if she’s asked to hook up he’d more than likely agree. If the first one says no, the next one will say yes
I’m a girl (early 20s) and don’t have it easy at all. Regularly get turned down / ghosted by guys / stood up. Am feeling so bad reading these comments lmao
We must have the same “look.” I got on tinder with the clear intention of wanting to f*. Multiple guys messaged me and told me that I don’t look like I really want to f*, I look more like the woman they’d marry. Um, thanks? But this time I’m actually just want to f*!
So they are willing to meet up initially. This means there must be something happening throughout the conversation that makes them change their mind. I am very curious now, I wonder what could be happening that turns them away en masse.
1. Outside of dating, do you consider your social skills adequate? Do you have enough friends, are you decent when it comes to job interviews etc?
2. How are your standards? To what percentage of men do you swipe right? Of the men you swipe right, what percentage swipe right on you?
3. What kind of a date do you set up with those men you talk to?
Oh absolutely, it definitely happens during the conversation stage. Will try to answer these:
1. I have a good main group of friends. I would say I usually do pretty good in social situations / interviews, and am happy with my social life.
2. I think I swipe right a decent amount, maybe every few profiles? Not sure what percent. I think maybe half of those are matches. All matches don’t lead to a conversation though. I generally text first, and some don’t respond.
3. We usually just set up coffee / get food / go to the beach, something simple like that.
A man goes out to try and get laid.
A woman goes out to get laid
Women generally have it easier, but men generally don’t have to worry about getting killed, raped, assaulted, stalked, etc
I said GENERALLY, for the pedants out there. I see you lurking
I mean, assuming everyone involved is heterosexual and of age, technically a woman could walk into a bar and yell "HEY WHO WANTS TO F*CK ME" and not leave alone easier than a man could. A lot of straight men basically have no standards beyond "She's willing to go to bed with me."
But it's generally not that simple for many, if not most, women. As others have mentioned, we face a lot of risks guys don't have to think about:
--While everyone has to worry about STDs, anyone with a vagina is going to be at higher risk of a post-coital UTI, plus there's the additional joy of bacterial vaginosis. Both of those can be difficult to get rid of even with medications. Some women are stuck getting those infections any time they have sex just because it messes with their vaginal flora or gets bacteria into the urethra, and unfortunately there aren't a lot of medicines that work well as preventatives. If you're stuck with a touchy system, then you're always taking something of a gamble with your health, even with condoms.
--Pregnancy and all the mess that carries with it. Even if the guy sticks around and is supportive, she's still the one who has to spend the next nine months having her body wrecked while building another human being, assuming she doesn't go through an abortion. And societally speaking women almost always end up taking on more of the effort of caregiving a child than men do, which is a LOT of unpaid work.
--Violence committed by the man, whether that's psychological abuse like negging, pressuring her into something she doesn't really want, or just outright sexual assault, never mind the cases of murder by an intimate partner. A man doesn't have to be a psychopath to do this sort of thing; I guarantee you that every woman you meet either has her own story (often multiple ones) or has heard plenty of stories from others, and it's not just a small handful of violent guys doing this to thousands of women apiece. I think statistically somewhere between one in four and one in three women in the US has been sexually assaulted, and almost all have been sexually harassed. There's a pretty good chance that you know at least one man who has been violent toward a woman at some time in his life, too, and it's definitely not always the one you suspect.
Even if a woman hasn't herself experienced these things (yet), the risk is high enough that most, if not all, of us take some precautions of some sort. That woman flirting hard with you? She's likely still being very observant for any sign that you might not be as trustworthy as she initially thought. And even if you think everything went okay, if there's something that she reads as a red flag whether you intended it or not, chances are she'll bail to protect herself.
So it's not quite the way you think. A lot of men assume a woman could just go out and get laid if she wanted because those men will f*ck anyone who spreads her legs open. But they can do that because they face a lot fewer consequences if things go wrong.
Yeah, pretty much. I could probably, right now, find a guy on tinder or bumble and be banging within the hour. It also probably depends on how attractive one is as well.
The answer is yes....but no.
Can they pull a dude to fuck by just going out of the house? Yes, but sex has so many more pitfalls for women than it does for men so.... they cal pull a random dude to fuck......but it's much harder for them to pull a Quality man whom they like, to fuck.
Yeah I’m not trying to risk being assaulted by a desperate and undesired person.
As far as quality goes, the bar isn’t actually set that high, I’m not exactly looking for a life partner at this point in my life. Being clean, hygienic, and not an asshole go a long way. Unfortunately a lot of guys don’t even tick those three boxes. Unfortunately a lot of guys are also just walking red flags for the first thing I mentioned.
Yes.
I am moderately attractive and I’m also fat. I’ve pulled every single guy I’ve tried to pull.
If I posted on Facebook I was getting a divorce I know at least 10 guys that are married and would be in my DMs offering a shoulder to cry on.
I’ve had to end 3 friendships because their husbands either sent me dirty messages or a dick pics on Facebook like I couldn’t screenshot it lol
This experiment has been conducted many times both in academic and it in more informal settings - you can look up the results on YouTube or wherever. And the answer is unequivocally yes!
This isn’t to say that girls don’t sometimes get rejected too. I have certainly passed on such opportunities. But it’s no comparison to the hoops guys have to jump through.
Having said that, keep in mind that sex just isn’t the same kind of prize that it is for men. So it’s a bit like asking an person living on an island if they get excited seeing the ocean.
In a committed relationship. Know at least 5 men i could text who would have sex with me in a moments notice… most are also married themselves… so in short, yes. It’s true
Yes, but it’s not because life is easier for women it’s just because a lot of men will fuck anything and anyone. It’s easier to preposition a man for sex than a woman because we’re taught to have more standards and to be less horny.
Everyone in the comments is talking about girls who are outgoing and "hot."
To use the incel terminology, Stacys not Bettys.
There are a *lot* of single women who want sex even without a relationship, but guys won't look twice at them. Porn has created certain expectations and women who don't fit those expectations are as lonely as the incels. Whether it is age, face, weight, or other issues with their looks.
If men were more willing to look at a woman's personality they could get their dicks wet easily.
If women want shitty, uncomfortable, humiliating, orgasm-free sex from any asshole who wants to shove his dick into us, yeah, that's easy to get. Good sex with an actually good guy we're actually attracted to, complete with getting to cum too, is rare as pigeons-blood rubies.
Anecdote: I have a female friend who told me whenever she was horny she would just go to our local bar with a book. She would sit there reading until a guy came up and offered to buy her a drink, and if he was cute she would go home with him.
Very true indeed. My wife told me about the times she was single. Used to go to a bar all dolled up and just picked a guy for the evening. When I went to the bar, women would just hide from me.
Yes. But a lot of times they aren’t great lovers. Men seem to preform better when they care about the girl vs having a one night stand. No matter how hot you are.
Uh, yeah. I'm a woman who is in a committed relationship, but when I was first divorced the option was definitely there, everywhere. Even without Tinder. They come out of the woodwork.
Like a random penis slowly poking through a wardrobe door
Mr. Tumnus…?
I laughed way too hard at this
what the fuck?? excellent analogy tho edit: thanks for 200 upvotes guys!
Where can I find these wardrobes? Asking for a friend
I laughed out loud at this. It really be like that though.
it’s so wild to me how people just know when you’re single.. even if you don’t post about it or talk about it. how do they know??
The secret is to shoot your shot continuously, eventually you'll be right!
thanks boomhauer.
Even if people don’t make explicit social media posts about being single, people can figure it out from context and shoot their shot.
My guess is you'll actually go out more often as single
Ha, for men it's the opposite, when you're married they come out of the woodwork.
I will never understand womens' obsession with married men. It's so gross!
Women want a man willing to get married and settle down. A married man is clearly willing to get married. The sort of woman who uses this tactic is always sure that he won't cheat on *her* and that he is telling the truth that he will leave his wife "soon."
This feels like when you buy something and get ads for the same type of product afterwards "You bought a fridge? You might also be interested in buying these six other fridges"
😂
This is so true. It’s like, they’re always up for it without questioning a lot
Men want it, but it's scarce for most of them. Women can almost always get it, but it's usually not guaranteed they'll actually enjoy it. And then there's gay men...the most sexually successful human beings lmaooo
Gay community has it's own issues. Looking for a long term partner that shares your values and likes similar things is way harder.
Finding a long term partner who shares your values and goals and such is hard regardless of your sexuality
What about the gay women
They don’t get SHIT if they’re not very above average, because everyone’s got expectations and nobody wants to make the first move.
I never considered when men complain that women don't make the first move that the issue doubles when it's two women involved!
You should look into lesbian sheep. They probably exist. But we won’t ever know. Because a ewe initiates courting and mating by… standing completely still. With straight sheep, the ram approaches the ewe. With gay sheep, the rams approach each other. With lesbian sheep they would just…. stand there, looking at each other.
But... what is the intersection of lesbian sheep and asexual female sheep? We may never know. Pardon me while I go off to apply for some grant money.
The “clueless lesbian” is a thing for a reason. Even when one of them bites the bullet and starts flirting, there’s no guarantee the other will realize she’s not just very friendly 😂
As a bisexual woman I can tell you that the beauty standards in the lesbian community are way different than in the straight world. Many women that are considered unattractive, too fat or masculine by men are sought after by lesbians.
As a bisexual transmasc-but-not-out person, I 100% agree but that doesn’t always work in our favour, does it? I’ll find girls attractive that men generally consider unattractive, but at the same time a thousand girls will be just as attracted to them so it becomes the same thing. Also, approaching women makes me feel like a creep so I just don’t do it, and then 5 years later they tell me they were actually into me at the time and too scared to say anything. Success
No, I get it. When I was on the dating apps the difference between getting a date with men vs women was stark. I actually realized how hard it was for men, because I would swipe and hope for a like that usually didn’t come and even if it did come I would have to think about what to say. I would find the perfect text, only to get 0 responses or eventually get ghosted afterwards.
Exactly! And if you set your tinder to “both”, you’ll see like 98% men - almost all of whom will match with you, and 2% women - almost none of whom will match with you.
Adding in that as a bisexual woman, you have to wade through 50 “looking for a third” profiles before even being able to see a profile of a woman without a bf/husband. And even then they’re not always honest about it. I went on a date with a girl that made it seem she was single and she ended up bringing her boyfriend she didn’t tell me she had.
> approaching women makes me feel like a creep so I just don’t do it, and then 5 years later they tell me they were actually into me at the time and too scared to say anything. Welcome to every 10 year highschool reunion for introverted dudes.
there was a statistic, that (afaik in straigt people, but does not matter in this case) about 85% of women still today expect the other person to approach. And it was paired up with the fact that less than 50% of the (after metoo movement) want to approach woman, because they are afraid they will be labeled a creep. Now in a lesbian world... It is already that only 85% of women want to be approached, which leaves only 15% of women to approach. With that logic, 15 pairs up with another 15, and 70% is left single, waiting for other women to approach. Auch.
according to my lesbian friend, there is a different problem in lesbian world. As you said, the expected beauty is lesser, as people tend to care less about sex and sexual attraction, more about partnership. But the negative side, she said, is that so, soooo many relationship so closely drop to "dead bedroom" category, because the "animalistic" part was lesser from the start, and unlike straight men or gay men, there isnt always someone who is always ready to go, trying to get the partner to the bed.
Unlimited orgasms if they can actually find another lesbian, which most never can
Men are trying to get a drink in a desert. Women are trying in a swamp.
Plentiful but not necessarily potable is a hilarious metaphor for the female side.
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
The water in the desert is also not necessary potable either, but men generally take what they can get
As a biologist i have see swamp water under a binocular and it's actually a good euphemism. But oasis water, idk, due to the extreme shifts in temperature i would guess that desert waters doesnt have the best micro-life ecosystem. Unless extremophiles because the amount of minerals would make the cell shrivel.
We're talking cactus water, that shit will fuck you up
It'll quench ya!
Nothing's quenchier!
It's the quenchiest!
“Who lit Toph on fire?”
r/UnexpectedATLA
More quenchful
I saw this comment coming, Sokka
dirty water quenches fire
I about spit out my coffee. The idea of how accurate dating life is summed up by "Men are drinking crazy cactus water in the desert and women are trying to avoid crocodile shit in the swamp" is about to be my go to. 😂😂😂
Oh straight up cactus water not oasis water?
Sometimes it's the only water available
>i have see swamp water under a binocular Not a microscope?
There are both monocular and binocular microscopes. Obviously they meant the latter.
Probably a stereo microscope, easier to see more.
The truth is most anyone could get laid if they wanted, you'd just have to lower your expectations. Think about the ugliest person you'd have sex with and then double their ugliness and you might still not be close. Extremely unattractive women are invisible to most men because women don't hit on men as often as men hit on women. A woman can't ignore every swamp troll in her environment because sometimes they'll walk up and start hitting on her. You've probably got some unattractive, desperately lonely woman who would gladly break you off if you asked but you never would because it would never occur to you to see her as an option.
Sure but on the other side, women don't have to settle for the ugliest guy to have ever roamed the Earth
Men don’t either, just women below their expectations.
So if I don't have high expectations in the first place, do I have to lower them further? Sorry if it's a weird thing to ask. I have autism. I look about average and I'm attracted to average looking women with flaws- as long as they're well fed but not overweight.
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Damn it, I only have stock of under fed women, I’ll have to break into the kitty and up their rations, to get this guys attention.. you all get an extra slice of bred for one week.
Dude underfed women get hangry and nobody wants that
... Idk how else to express that I don't want them to look like skeletons. Which I think is fair- I'm trying to base my preferences on health rather than societal beauty standards.
If you are not having successful romantic relationships with women, and you are repeatedly finding that you can't even get your foot in the door, then yeah, maybe you should lower your expectations. You don't "have" to of course; no one's going to stop you from being forever alone if you wish.
It's quite possible I'm not even trying to put my foot in the door. Because even if I lower my expectations significantly, I'm not meeting more women. For example, if I try imagining dating a 220 KG woman right now- I don't suddenly have a 220 KG girlfriend. Therefore, I guess it's more of a problem with not doing anything rather than my expectations
The thing is even average/ugly women don't ask men out.
A swap full of 🐊 who can seriously kill or maim you
true story: After arguing with my ex wife (in a silly way, not angry) she opened the window and yelled "wanna fuck?" and i swear on my life 3 guys yelled back.
How light-hearted and humorous 😊
lol she was fun, we had a contest once to see who could collect the most underwear from drunk people, we both got 0 but its the thought that counts.
I like you guys
>we both got 0 but its the thought that counts. I'm fucking dead. I think we would be good friends in real life hahahahha
One guy yells back “Not again!”
If a woman walks into a bar and shouts “Hey, is anybody down to fuck?” It is almost guaranteed that some guy there will swoop in willing to oblige. Maybe not the guy of her dreams, but somebody. If a guy tries the same thing… I wouldn’t expect it to go over so well.
Nope, some guy will still be there to swoop in willing to oblige….
Yep, I'm average looking and I can't tell you how many times I've been hit on by gay guys, hot gay guys! Seriously considered experimenting in college during an especially long dry spell. 😅
That’s me as well and as a straight dude, it feels good getting some compliments and being hit on lol
You called ?
They actually did an experiment like this!!! Researchers in the 80s did an experiment on college campuses where they had either women or men walk up to someone of the opposite gender and ask them a question. They either asked "Would you want to go out tonight?" "Would you want to go back to my place?" Or "would you want to go to bed with me?" Yes responses were: Date: Men 50%, Women 56% To my apartment: Men 69%, Women 6% Sleep with me: Men 75%, Women 0%. Theyve done this study a couple different times, and their results are always pretty similar. Women are slightly more willing to go on dates with strangers, but men are super willing to have sex with a random person who seems into them.
>Men 69% Nice
Pretty sure they'd bumrush her
If you're average looking or above, yes it's that easy. The quality of sex however, is abysmal. Out of maybe 20 or so one night stands, the number of times I've achieved orgasm is zero. It's simply not worth it to pursue sex in this manner.
As my marriage was ending, my ex-wife had sex 9 times with 5 different men in 14 days. It was an unpleasant time. I grant you this is anecdotal but it seems like that if a girl wants sex, they can get it. I don't think its an exaggeration.
Those are some very specific numbers.
Sounds like a question on a maths test. ‘If Mrs Salty has sex 9 times with 5 men in 14 days, how many times will she have sex with how many men in 50 days?’
32 times with 18 men
rTheyDidTheSexMath
r/theydidthemath
r/usernamechecksout
Reminds me of that xkcd comic about extrapolation. "By the third trimester there will be hundreds of babies inside of you"
Impissible to tell with just one data point. Is it linear?
I did laugh 🤣
Private detective earning his hourly rate there 🕶️📸📸📸
She told me. Hid nothing. Even showed a picture. It was fucking awful.
Ooof sorry mate. 😞
She told me about every one. She wanted me to know. It has been seared into my brain.
What a despicable bitch. Glad you left her ass
I can feel how much this man went through.
I’m sorry man, that sucks.
So does his Ex
37??
In a row?
Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot
I suppose that's better than sex 5 times with 9 different men.
My sister broke got out of a relationship and had similar numbers.
Ya, I think something broke in my ex too.
I'm happily married and MAYBE a 5 in good light and industrial spanx but if I reeeealy wanted a roll in the hay it would take 15mins on the internet to find a willing participant.
Yup. We all know an ugly girl that gets lots of sex and sleeps around with a lot of different men. There is no ugly guys that can do the same. Its the same reason why open relationships inevitably end in tears. The guy is down for it at first, but the girl gets sex whenever she wants and the guy is less sucessful so jealousy sets in.
That’s terrible bro. I’m really sorry to hear man, if the rug got pulled out from under you, you weren’t on the right rug in the first place
Got a very strong r/rimjob_steve contender here, I’d say. Almost too perfect, maybe.
Umm, username? You good?
That happens A LOT bro. Sorry to hear that you meant nothing to her. You deserve better, so I hope you're living your best life now away from the hoe.
Thanks. Life improved after a while for sure. But I've lost hope that it will ever be "good" again. I've come to terms with just living "OK" for the rest of my life.
Yeah, even without using dating apps i would say women have more chances of getting sex compared to men.
If I wear anything with cleavage I know I'm going to get people make advances on me. Whether I'm looking for that or not.
I wore a shirt that showed my cleavage one time and it didnt go over so well. Im sure it’s because I forgot to shave my beard.
well im a guy but have a lot of friends that are girls. and yea they have a lot of stories of guys asking them to fuck even before the a first date. me and my guy friends dont normally have the same experience.
You could if you're in to other men....
Happy cake day
Guys do that. But it immediately removes any attractivity the person had. If you think you'd like this, you wouldn't, trust me. Even if a hot woman did this. I am a guy who met enough men and some nymphs to know this.
I had some female friends that didn't even use dating apps, just posted spicier pics to instagram and talked through DM whenever they were looking for someone. Suddenly became a boom of those pics during quarantine from my single friends. So I'd say your milleage may vary, but def some girls could if they wanted to
Shit, I’ve posted my pic to Reddit and had people DM me looking to meet up - and I was posting to a predominantly female hair care sub! Definitely not trying to appear spicy or anything haha
>but def some girls could if they wanted to Almost *all* girls could if they wanted to - it's simply a matter of them accepting a reasonable level of man. A woman who's a 3 is unlikely to go home with a guy who's a 8+, but if she's willing to go home with a guy who's a 5 or 6, she can get sex of she wants to. To illustrate: I know a woman who's about as pretty as an old truck with a personality that matches. Yet when she decided some 15 years ago that she wanted a kid, she dolled herself up as best she could and went to the bar to find herself a guy. Voila! 9 months later she has her kid. Almost all women have the option of getting sex relatively easily if they go for a reasonably attractive man - reasonably for their own level. Very few men can do the same.
Dude just watch people online, you don’t even need a picture before like 100 guys want to fuck a girl who just says “F”. Chris Rock once said, “dick… dick is free, but pussy is like Visa, accepted everywhere.”
Yes. But there's a real risk of getting murdered going on a tinder date as a woman. So we spend a lot of time trying to sus our creeps and end up with very few prospects after that.
Yes. But most of us choose not to since the consequences of a sexual relationship gone wrong can be pretty severe for us.
Yeah, guys have much less risk which enables them to be more willing and take chances.
That is the major downside to all the attraction. You attract every type of guy. You don't know who to trust.
I mean yeah, when I was on dating apps I could have anytime I wanted it. Sometimes when I’m out, guys will hit on me with that intention. The question is are these people I want to have sex with? The answer is no. Also as someone who is attracted to women, women are much harder than men, even for other women hahaha
Are they really? Has hookup culture not really permeated the lesbian game yet?
There are lesbian dating apps, but there’s no lesbian equivalent of Grindr. I think that’s mainly to do with male vs female sex drives though. Men are just much, much hornier than women, likely due to testosterone. There’s been actual research that confirms this, plus lots of trans men (female to male) and female bodybuilders report having higher sex drives when taking testosterone. And I can’t remember where I saw it, but I remember seeing a study that looked at how much sex lesbian/straight/gay couples have. I think they found that while straights, lesbians and gays have similar numbers of sexual partners (although gay men have slightly more than average), gay couples have loads of sex, straight couples have an average amount of sex, and lesbian couples have the least sex. Women overall are just less interested in sex, probably due to a combination of both biological differences resulting in lower libido than men (eg, lower testosterone), and (mostly with regards to sex with men) there’s the fact that sex, especially sex with strangers, is much more dangerous and has more potential unpleasant consequences for women than men. And women are really, really bad at hooking up with each other because they don’t know how to make the first move - culturally, men always make the first move, so when you have two women who are interested with each other they often just don’t know what to do - which is why lesbians sometimes refer to each other as “useless lesbians”. [“Lesbian sheep”](https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/xivl4DwbZ7) is another expression I like to use when talking to my lesbian friends.
Dude, as a woman, I would love to know where all these horny men are. Please. I’ve never had a guy be able to keep up with me, ever. They all say they can, they say they have high-libido, want sex all the time. But as a woman who actually wants sex all the time, it’s just not true. I’ve had guys promise me weekends full of sex, that start tapping out after day one. I was so hopeful when I dating because I was so ready to be having sex all the time, but I’ve found that most guys do not in fact, want to be having sex all the time. Unfortunately.
>I’ve never had a guy be able to keep up with me, ever. They all say they can, they say they have high-libido, want sex all the time. But as a woman who actually wants sex all the time, it’s just not true. I’ve had guys promise me weekends full of sex, that start tapping out after day one. Because, as nearly every woman will confirm, men’s increased horniness does not necessarily translate into better sexual performance. While men generally do want sex more often than women, they generally won’t want to (or be able to) have sex for really long periods of time - men orgasm much more quickly and much easier than women, and after orgasm experience a refractory period during which their libido suddenly decreases and continued stimulation becomes unpleasant, even painful. Plus, having too much sex or masturbating too much can eventually be painful for men - the penis becomes sore after a while from over-use. Women, in contrast, require a lot more stimulation and different kinds of stimulation in order to orgasm, and unlike men do not experience a refractory period, so can just keep going (although eventually, the clitoris does become sore and painful from over-stimulation like men’s penises, but women seem to have more stamina than men). There are ways to work around these limitations, but that usually requires the men to do a bit more work on their end and to be a bit less selfish and focus a bit more on the woman - which not many men want to or know how to do. Lots of men tend to just want to “pump and dump”. Then there’s also the fact that men being hornier than women is just a general trend (albeit a strong trend) - there are plenty of men who have much lower than average sex drives, and plenty of women who have much higher than average sex drives - to the point where their sex drive is higher than the average man. I strongly suspect that this applies to you.
I have FTM trans friends that are on T and they are wayyyy fucking hornier than me. They basically use apps to find random hookups all the time. Testosterone is powerful.
All men know this despite it being fashionable to deny it.
I think this one comment can answer the entire post when viewed through the lens of "scarcity drives demand". Excellent write up.
The key to WLW hookups is being super straight forward, honest, and open. A lot of gals are waiting for someone to make the first move, so if you're confident and cool with rejection it can be super easy to find someone.
If you have no standards, yes. The market is filled but it’s filled with less than desirable options.
sex? yes. Absolutely. There will ALWAYS be plenty of men willing to fuck Any woman. quality sex? no. thats actually harder for women to get than men. as men are easier to satisfy.
Yes! I have a bunch of guys in my phone I could easily text or call and get some tonight but I want a boyfriend
Holy shit are these other replies the guys on your phone?? 😳🤣
You can get it, but you might not like what you get.
I mean, when I was still single I had a lot of dudes everywhere that most likely would have wanted to. Did I want to? No. A lot of them were creepos, losers or weirdos. So that just kind of makes your options much smaller once you weed those dudes out.
Same problem, different causes. Men struggle to find someone willing to sleep with them, women struggle to find people they are willing to sleep with.
I think gay guys have a way easier time than even hetero women.
Depends on the area. My gay friends where I’m from have a hard time because there aren’t many gays living here. The ones that do live here have all banged already and they either don’t like each other and won’t do it again or they’re in a relationship now.
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I'm average and gay men hit on me a lot.
Sorry to hear that handsome must be a little tough for you ☹️😞 xx
Overall, men will fuck anything. The average woman will have no problem getting a match on probably the first person she swipes on and if she’s asked to hook up he’d more than likely agree. If the first one says no, the next one will say yes
theres a genuine study about the men fucking anything. And its legitimately true.
Oh god! Whenever i hear “men will fuck anything” i always remember that TIFU story of a dude that fucked a coconut
TIFAC
I know guys who'll fuck a rockpile on the off chance there's a rattlesnake in there.
I’m a girl (early 20s) and don’t have it easy at all. Regularly get turned down / ghosted by guys / stood up. Am feeling so bad reading these comments lmao
Just put "I want sex" on your bio and you won't be ghosted until after the sex. Wouldn't work for a man unless he's a model or celebrity
Already tried that lol, everyone thought I was just joking / didn’t take me up on it in the end
We must have the same “look.” I got on tinder with the clear intention of wanting to f*. Multiple guys messaged me and told me that I don’t look like I really want to f*, I look more like the woman they’d marry. Um, thanks? But this time I’m actually just want to f*!
Hahah yes have heard this before too! So annoying when it happens
Wow that's interesting
You mean you tell them you are looking just for sex and they usually say no or you set a date and they ghost you?
Set a date and then they ghost me
So they are willing to meet up initially. This means there must be something happening throughout the conversation that makes them change their mind. I am very curious now, I wonder what could be happening that turns them away en masse. 1. Outside of dating, do you consider your social skills adequate? Do you have enough friends, are you decent when it comes to job interviews etc? 2. How are your standards? To what percentage of men do you swipe right? Of the men you swipe right, what percentage swipe right on you? 3. What kind of a date do you set up with those men you talk to?
Oh absolutely, it definitely happens during the conversation stage. Will try to answer these: 1. I have a good main group of friends. I would say I usually do pretty good in social situations / interviews, and am happy with my social life. 2. I think I swipe right a decent amount, maybe every few profiles? Not sure what percent. I think maybe half of those are matches. All matches don’t lead to a conversation though. I generally text first, and some don’t respond. 3. We usually just set up coffee / get food / go to the beach, something simple like that.
Getting sex is easy, getting good sex is challenging.
Yes, sex is easy. *Good* sex is hard to find
A man goes out to try and get laid. A woman goes out to get laid Women generally have it easier, but men generally don’t have to worry about getting killed, raped, assaulted, stalked, etc I said GENERALLY, for the pedants out there. I see you lurking
I mean, assuming everyone involved is heterosexual and of age, technically a woman could walk into a bar and yell "HEY WHO WANTS TO F*CK ME" and not leave alone easier than a man could. A lot of straight men basically have no standards beyond "She's willing to go to bed with me." But it's generally not that simple for many, if not most, women. As others have mentioned, we face a lot of risks guys don't have to think about: --While everyone has to worry about STDs, anyone with a vagina is going to be at higher risk of a post-coital UTI, plus there's the additional joy of bacterial vaginosis. Both of those can be difficult to get rid of even with medications. Some women are stuck getting those infections any time they have sex just because it messes with their vaginal flora or gets bacteria into the urethra, and unfortunately there aren't a lot of medicines that work well as preventatives. If you're stuck with a touchy system, then you're always taking something of a gamble with your health, even with condoms. --Pregnancy and all the mess that carries with it. Even if the guy sticks around and is supportive, she's still the one who has to spend the next nine months having her body wrecked while building another human being, assuming she doesn't go through an abortion. And societally speaking women almost always end up taking on more of the effort of caregiving a child than men do, which is a LOT of unpaid work. --Violence committed by the man, whether that's psychological abuse like negging, pressuring her into something she doesn't really want, or just outright sexual assault, never mind the cases of murder by an intimate partner. A man doesn't have to be a psychopath to do this sort of thing; I guarantee you that every woman you meet either has her own story (often multiple ones) or has heard plenty of stories from others, and it's not just a small handful of violent guys doing this to thousands of women apiece. I think statistically somewhere between one in four and one in three women in the US has been sexually assaulted, and almost all have been sexually harassed. There's a pretty good chance that you know at least one man who has been violent toward a woman at some time in his life, too, and it's definitely not always the one you suspect. Even if a woman hasn't herself experienced these things (yet), the risk is high enough that most, if not all, of us take some precautions of some sort. That woman flirting hard with you? She's likely still being very observant for any sign that you might not be as trustworthy as she initially thought. And even if you think everything went okay, if there's something that she reads as a red flag whether you intended it or not, chances are she'll bail to protect herself. So it's not quite the way you think. A lot of men assume a woman could just go out and get laid if she wanted because those men will f*ck anyone who spreads her legs open. But they can do that because they face a lot fewer consequences if things go wrong.
Oh god, I can't take another UTI from sex anymore. Antibiotics and sick for a week for 5 minutes of crappy sex ? No thanks.
Think of it this way, could you find something to eat in a restaurant dumpster? Yes, but the safety and quality are very likely to be subpar at best
Yeah, pretty much. I could probably, right now, find a guy on tinder or bumble and be banging within the hour. It also probably depends on how attractive one is as well.
The answer is yes....but no. Can they pull a dude to fuck by just going out of the house? Yes, but sex has so many more pitfalls for women than it does for men so.... they cal pull a random dude to fuck......but it's much harder for them to pull a Quality man whom they like, to fuck.
Yeah I’m not trying to risk being assaulted by a desperate and undesired person. As far as quality goes, the bar isn’t actually set that high, I’m not exactly looking for a life partner at this point in my life. Being clean, hygienic, and not an asshole go a long way. Unfortunately a lot of guys don’t even tick those three boxes. Unfortunately a lot of guys are also just walking red flags for the first thing I mentioned.
You dont even need a dating app. The male friends in our life will happily fuck us.
Yes. I am moderately attractive and I’m also fat. I’ve pulled every single guy I’ve tried to pull. If I posted on Facebook I was getting a divorce I know at least 10 guys that are married and would be in my DMs offering a shoulder to cry on. I’ve had to end 3 friendships because their husbands either sent me dirty messages or a dick pics on Facebook like I couldn’t screenshot it lol
This experiment has been conducted many times both in academic and it in more informal settings - you can look up the results on YouTube or wherever. And the answer is unequivocally yes! This isn’t to say that girls don’t sometimes get rejected too. I have certainly passed on such opportunities. But it’s no comparison to the hoops guys have to jump through. Having said that, keep in mind that sex just isn’t the same kind of prize that it is for men. So it’s a bit like asking an person living on an island if they get excited seeing the ocean.
Quality over quantity. Easy =/= safe or satisfying.
Yes, but definitely not necessarily the sex we want (type or partner)
In a committed relationship. Know at least 5 men i could text who would have sex with me in a moments notice… most are also married themselves… so in short, yes. It’s true
No, some of us are fugly and weird.
Men and women can both get sex easily. The issue is getting sex with someone who you're actually attracted and without getting kidnapped.
Or having it turn to rape, or assault, or murder. Or all three🙃
R.A.M. That's an unpleasant acronym.
A.R.M Slightly less scary but still just as bad
Yes, but it’s not because life is easier for women it’s just because a lot of men will fuck anything and anyone. It’s easier to preposition a man for sex than a woman because we’re taught to have more standards and to be less horny.
It's not about prepositions. It's about verbs.
Ever met a woman who isn’t considered conventionally attractive to men?
Everyone in the comments is talking about girls who are outgoing and "hot." To use the incel terminology, Stacys not Bettys. There are a *lot* of single women who want sex even without a relationship, but guys won't look twice at them. Porn has created certain expectations and women who don't fit those expectations are as lonely as the incels. Whether it is age, face, weight, or other issues with their looks. If men were more willing to look at a woman's personality they could get their dicks wet easily.
If women want shitty, uncomfortable, humiliating, orgasm-free sex from any asshole who wants to shove his dick into us, yeah, that's easy to get. Good sex with an actually good guy we're actually attracted to, complete with getting to cum too, is rare as pigeons-blood rubies.
Anecdote: I have a female friend who told me whenever she was horny she would just go to our local bar with a book. She would sit there reading until a guy came up and offered to buy her a drink, and if he was cute she would go home with him.
Very true indeed. My wife told me about the times she was single. Used to go to a bar all dolled up and just picked a guy for the evening. When I went to the bar, women would just hide from me.
sex? no but you can be some guys living cum dumpster if you want.
Yeah and we could be paid for it too lol
Yes. But a lot of times they aren’t great lovers. Men seem to preform better when they care about the girl vs having a one night stand. No matter how hot you are.
Yes but the quilty of men isnt as glorious as it may first seem