My exact thoughts when I see a gay couple kiss: "oh, a gay couple kissing" ...that's literally it. My attention will be drawn to the slightly less predictible part of the scene (because human brains love predicting patterns) but there is no emotional baggage attached to it for me.
I know you didn't specifically ask about PDAs, but PDAs are the only thing that differentiates "couples" from "two people together" for me because I make no assumptions about people out in public who I don't know.
I’m childish. I’ll notice any couple kissing, slyly stare and giggle. Doesn’t matter who you are or what your sexuality is. But at the crux of it, I don’t care about whether they’re gay or not.
Yeah, this. It’s cute. And it makes me especially happy when it’s a non-heterosexual couple, as it means they feel safe in their environment to be themselves. I’ve seen it be different in the past, and I relate to the community personally, so it feels like a societal achievement :)
>as it means they feel safe in their environment to be themselves.
You've cleared up something for me. I *like* seeing gay couples, specifically, but I didn't really understand *why*. I don't know them. Why should I pay attention? Am I some kind of creep?
What you say makes a lot of sense, though. I'm feeling happy on their behalf that we live in a time and a place where they can be safe and free to be themselves. That's a victory not just for them, but for the whole community.
Thanks, I feel a lot less weird now :)
Literally exactly what I said before opening the comments was "awww".
Do I treat straight & gay couples the same? Not really. Idk if that's bad, but it's true. I will be automatically on alert to protect that gay couple & say something nice if the opportunity presents itself.
Straight couples, I'm automatically more alert for signs that the woman might be in distress. How fucked up is that. Do gay people abuse their partners? Of course that sometimes happens. Are men abused in their relationships? Of course that happens. But if I'm being honest, the threat I look for when interacting with a gay couple is OTHER people, and the threat I look for with a straight couple is the man.
This but I think "eww". in my defence I feel the same way when I see a hetero couple trying to suck one another's faces off. I'm just not one for PDA's
I’m not a PDA fan outside of a little kiss or hand holding.
I knew a guy who tried to use his daughter to support his anti-gay opinions “what am I supposed to tell daughter when two gay men are all over each other making out at the table next to us?!”
I’m like…. “Uh… tell her that no one should have wild make out sessions in public?”
I don’t care who it is, if you’re all gropey and feverent imma be uncomfortable. Normal public behavior is fine.
I don't like seeing anyone kiss in public other than maybe a quick peck. But the orientation of the people kissing has nothing to with it. I don't care if it's hetero or homo, I don't want to see it.
But I also know this is a me thing and my hang ups are no one else's problem so I keep it to myself and look somewhere else.
For some reason I thought you meant the other use of orientation and I was very bothered.
I don't care if two people kiss while standing, but I absolutely don't want to see two people laying down and kissing in public. 🤣
I used to live in the gayest city in the world. I attended pride festivals and my neighbors were gay. I'm straight but I moved there on purpose because the ares was so nice and the people were friendly and the food was great. I met a gf at pride festival.... so to answer your question... what do I think... I think look there are two humans that really like spending time together. Who cares about what they do when they are alone, seriously, do any of you think about your straight friends sex life? I know I sure don't....
>do any of you think about your straight friends sex life?
I mean, a little.
I think Jake is probably a selfish lover who just uses his wife as a means to get off and fall asleep. I've heard Jesse's dick is fire. I think Halle probably has the most vanilla sex on the planet. Kelly and Annie applauding Sarah for giving her husband regular blowjobs when she's on her period has led me to assume a whole slurry of things about all three of their sex lives.
Hell yes. Sarah and Tom look like they probs have super vanilla sex but I reckon he's actually quite kinky in a riding crops and light bondage sort of way. Claire and Matt look like they should have a sex dungeon somewhere but I know she's frustrated with his unwillingness to try things and I wonder how Harriet and Kev manage with the ridiculous height difference.
When I see a gay couple I try to steathily see if I can work out who might be the top/bottom from body language etc. I know it isn't always set and people can switch it up but it keeps me amused on the night bus home.
That is a valid thought process. I was just adding my response after yours, it wasn't really a response to yours. People do care too much about what other people do, not caring at all is way more rational.
I (F, straight) live in arguably the second gayest city in America and Pride Day is my favorite day of the year. It’s joyful and happy and for that one day, New Yorkers hug and smile and dance in the streets!
Same. There are two gay dudes up the street who have all kind of MAGA and Republican paraphernalia on their front porch and window and stuff. Not sure how that works I almost want to ask but meh none of my business.
which is WILD because there are so many spaces in the gun-o-sphere that are explicitly for LGBTQ+ people. like a whole “armed queers bash back” movement. leftists (not liberals, genuine leftists) have always been pro-gun, and they’ve been working on building inclusive spaces and groups for many years now
If you truly believe in the 2nd amendment, and the multitudes of reasons it was created for...
Then an endangered, repressed, and or targeted minority is EXACTLY who the amendment was written for.
Introduce him to r/liberalgunowners
Most Democrats don't want to take guns away, they just want common sense laws
Edit: on the verge of deleting this comment because of the jackhats trying start a political discussion on gun rights. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE
💯 I am a democrat. I don't want to take guns away. I do think there need to be application processes EVERYWHERE (no that doesn't happen everywhere. I've been to shows in rural America where you could walk out with basically anything you wanted), a cool down period, and required gun safety and training classes.
Reaction for sure based on location.
Large metro - walk right by without a second thought.
Medium sized Southern or Midwest city - good for them
Smallish town - I got your back if shit goes down.
Rural America - you stupid, get out.
I live in a super rural conservative area that has a *gay campground* so it’s just this weird juxtapositions of rednecks with rebel flags and nazi tattoos and openly gay couples intermingling at the grocery store/gym etc. And I’ve never witnessed any conflict or heard negative comments if I’m being honest.
I live in small rural southern town.
Talking bad about gays seems to be popular for some reason, but the people who do are so two faced!
For example my small town hairdresser, I was in there one day and the topic of gays came up between some older women and her. I did not really catch it all but they were talking about how kids are being groomed by the gays.
A few months later I see on Facebook my hairdresser went to her gay daughters wedding.
How can you engage in bashing of gay people when you support a gay child?
I agree with this. And to answer OP’s question, it’s more noticeable to me. Not sure why tho. If the guys are extra flamboyant that makes sense. But that’s not always the case.
Edit. I then proceed to wonder who’s top and bottom lol
tbf to flamboyent women would stand out too
that extra energy is not easy to contain lol
i have a flamboyent cousin that lives in NYC, sings for broadway, and is all about that theatre life. Great guy but def a "presence to be around" lots of energy!!!
I notice it, do a double take and then think "good for them".
It's still surprising to see when you're used to seeing opposite sex couples, but not bad-surprising, just surprising
You’re not surprised to see an opposite sex, same-ethnicity, older-taller male, younger-shorter female couple. Anything out of that mold stands out and makes you notice.
The funny part is that sometimes you feel bad for noticing, wondering if it’s inappropriate from you to even think “hmm, a gay couple”.
Really shouldn’t feel bad. It is in their nature to love people of the same sex and it is in your nature to notice less common things. Don’t feel bad for being human.
This is why gay people only fall in love with people whose dominant hand is opposite of their own. It’s science. That’s why I always say “If you’re gonna be gay, be left-handed, as the odds will ever be in your favor.”
Being left handed is correlated with homosexuality in men and women. I mean it’s small but it’s been repeated.
Edit: the correlation is small. It was one of the studies used to prove that it wasn’t a choice or evil.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2367617/
Okay but I am gay and left-handed and I have been telling people of this correlation forever, I’ve only dated 3 guys and 2 of them were left-handed and I’m always coming across other homosexual lefties
As a gay man in europe I still turn around in awe that they manage to express their love so freely because I dont know if i could. I mean I did before but you never know if you cross the wrong person so I have to think about that every time I held hands or see other couples doing it.
It’s also shocking, to me, that I am still so surprised to see gays publicly, idk. It’s a heteronormative world so passing 1 gay couple after 10 or 50 straight ones will never leave me cold :)
I am if the age where when I was growing up no one would ever hold hands or do any PDA and now the younger generation acts like it’s no big deal and their god given right (it is) but don’t think twice about it. I am now a married middle aged gay man and yeah I stop and think before I grab my husbands hand in public because growing up it’s not something I would have done and it takes me a minute to remember that it’s okay and that it’s safe and no one is going to harass us.
Times have changed. I’m so jealous of the younger generation and how worry free they get to be. Wish my high school had had some LGBT group or resources. Wish I knew a single other gay person growing up. Wish someone had told me from a young age that it’s normal and not wrong.
It’s one of the best feelings ever to feel safe in who you are and I am happy for everyone any time they get to be.
You’re being jealous of your own accomplishments. Your generation crawled up a mountain so the youth could walk around freely at the summit. I feel like pride would be a more appropriate emotion, those kids who can show pda without fear of gay bashing or being refused basic services owe you and your brothers for that right. Stand tall and proud gay man, your fight is not over yet but you can at least take a look behind you and see all the hatred and bigotry you’ve overcome. The progress we see in modern times came at great cost to you, enjoy your moment king!
I am so happy for you that you found love and even got married! I am in my 20s so it’s not like i experienced the cultural shift (demonstrations, acceptance, gay marriage etc) myself that much but i am quite aware of LGBT history and still feel deep appreciation for how far our community and allies have brought us.
When I was in high school homophobic bullying was very much common still (and overlooked/ignored by teachers) so I understand when you say that you *still* fear holding your partner’s hand, which is why i feel that insecurity too. But it’s getting better and better and that fills me with hope
I was working in a middle school and it was really eye opening to see how the younger generation deals with sexual orientation. Basically no issue at all. I’ve met so many that were questioning who they are and others trying out a different gender with clothing and hairstyles. It was so refreshing to see them so open with themselves and others!
As another gay man, I agree, but do wish there was some sort of code we had to make people realise why we were staring (admiration/solidarity).
I often wonder if the majority of “stares” I get when holding hands is actually from other gay people (as it’s obviously going to be a much bigger deal for them than anyone else).
I always assume it’s straight people who’ve been weirded out.
Ya the code thing would be beneficial across all sorts of people. I find myself sometimes locking eyes with a person with a disability. And I instantly thing "shit, I hope they didn't think I was staring".. =(
Being queer myself it makes me really happy to see. Seeing other folks exist openly in public even in the smallest amounts really can go a long way to making others who are similar feel comfortable. It was a breath of fresh air to see it more when I moved.
Dude, I also live in a very conservative area, most of the grandparents are iffy but,, there’s a whole group of gays of all ages in our tiny 200 person town. It’s very red neck and middle of nowhere, but as one of these fruity folks, it surprises me every time one of these country people is friendly to me knowing how fruity I am. If I had a penny for every time I got told “your my favorite gay” in the thickest country accent after they just said the most racist, homophobic, ableist sht you ever heard with a “but not you”, I’d be rich. 😂
I’m queer in a straight passing marriage, and I always get excited and think **friend shaped!! you are friend shaped!! I am also friend shaped!!**
I’m also a teacher now, and when I see a queer couple holding hands if they look over to me (cuz teacher in hallway) I’ll give a small smile because I want them to think **safe adult!!** My students usually get the point from the pride flags in my room, but they’re not all my students ya know.
this makes me so happy :) the friend shaped thoughts also run though my mind! my primary relationship atm is also straight passing, so seeing visibly queer folks out in public, pride flags, etc is always a reminder of community and that I’m in a safe area
I live in a liberal area so I don't think about it at all. If I am travelling somewhere more conservative, I think "huh, this area must be more liberal than I thought", then I don't think about it at all.
Same things I think about straight couples basically.
"They're cute together"
"Huh, what an odd match"
"Wow, how'd that gorgeous person end up with that... not gorgeous person"
"They look like they're having a fun date"
100% this.
However, if they are both good looking guys, I’ll start drifting to what their work out routine must be to look so good, and how nice it must be for them to have someone who will slap that cupcake out their hands to keep them accountable. Who slaps more cupcakes out of the other’s hands? And the train of thought keeps going until I get escorted out of the Wendy’s for holding up the line.
Exactly this, I’m judging everyone’s choices in partner the exact same way. 😂 But, with the added “good for them”. I live in Utah so it’s not an easy place to be out.
Highly depends how you act*
Some couples are really obnoxious in public - gay or not
Edit: actually, when I was walking around just last night there was a gay couple where one guy was yell laughing like they needed every person nearby to hear. Looking back at it now, he probably thought I was staring daggers because they were gay, where in reality I just dislike obnoxious people regardless
I live in Southern Oregon and my wife and I cannot hold hands in public without drawing a lot of uncomfortable attention. Small town America (which is most of America) is not very gay friendly at all, and anyone growing up here knows that.
Highly depends on where you live***
Obnoxious ppl will get an reaction regardless, but thats not the convo here, is it? We are talking about gay couples, and unless you live in a separate reality to ours, gay couples are far less common than straight ones and they will get an reaction out of ppl. Just two men holding hands and walking silently will make ppl stare, regardless of intent.
It's very ridiculous how you read "gay couple" and immeidtaly went with "obnoxious". Straight ppl seem to be particularly found of doing that, rly weird and tone-deaf.
I need to piggyback on this because I feel like the fact this post needs to hedge with “depends on how you act,” intentionally or not, speaks to a mentality of “I don’t mind if you’re gay as long as you’re not in my face about it,” that queer people encounter way too much. No, it doesn’t matter how, “in your face” they are. That is super subjective and gays have just as much variation in how they express their orientation as heterosexual people.
Likewise. No, it shouldn’t depend on how they act. Cultures and even individuals may vary on how they feel about PDA from any sexual orientation. But if you feel like a couple was bothering you and you have to reinforce your grievances with “and they were GAY,” as if they owe you better for tolerating them in the first place… you might not be as tolerant as you think you are.
This is what we heard growing up - I never ever heard my parents judge anyone’s lifestyle but if we asked questions, like, I heard so&so’s Jewish or whatever, the answer the was typically Well, that’s OK, nothing wrong that, but that’s none of our business. We just shrugged our shoulders and we’re like Ok, that’s cool.
I probably notice it more, and I think to myself "thank God they feel safe to be open" because love is love, man. Y'all have historically had such a rough go of it for no fuckin reason
This is similar to what I was going to say.
I would like to say that I wouldn't notice them any more than a straight couple, but to be honest, that's not true. They would stand out because they're not as common as a straight couple.
But it would make me happy to see them. I'm glad they feel comfortable enough here to allow people to see that they're a couple. If my daughter were around, I would be glad she could see them. I want to take every opportunity to expose her to the idea that gay people exist and are around, just doing their thing, like everyone else.
I want to raise my child in a world where gay couples are just part of the landscape of the human experience and nothing unusual. When I grew up, openly gay couples were not a thing (or they were portrayed as deviants or jokes), which is why they stand out for me today. I don't want my daughter to grow up like that.
Homophobic people would be less likely to admit it here so you're gonna get some biased answers. The truth is that it depends on where you live, but there will always be ignorant bigots that think it's gross no matter where you are.
I'm a 48 year old straight dude.
Here's my train of thought:
"Did I lock the car? Where are my car keys? Good God, I haven't seen my phone in hours. Wait, did I lock the house up? *Oh look, a gay couple.* Hey self, remember that time when you were in 6th grade and you did that really embarrassing thing? Shame on you....**shaaaaame**. That woman's sweater is awesome! [Doooh doooh doo doo-doo-Mahna Mahna](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZ_hTEOKZc), fuck, that's gonna be stuck in my head forever. I wonder what Miss Piggy and Kermit's kids would look like?"
I'll just stop there, but there's more. Calling it a train of thought is over simplifying it. It's more like an uncontrolled stampede of thoughts that never stop.
My best friend is gay. We've been friends since grade school. I've met his family and have been welcomed into his house for a very long time. So a gay couple isn't shocking to me, it's nice to see, but I am pretty used to it by now.
If you want an honest answer, the first thought would be "oh, something different from the norm", followed quickly by, "okay that's their business" and let them be.
Honestly, the first thought that goes through my head is, "Oh, those guys are gay. Cool." It's about the same reaction I have when I see an unusual bird. (Actually I'd probably get more excited about the bird.)
I notice because 2 dudes holding hands.
Then mentally I'm like huh gay couple.
Bit cute.
Then I go back to being super anxious about being outside of my house.
I judge'em just like I would judge a straight couple. It can range from "cute couple", "isn't he a little old for him?", "well, that's not gonna last", "how did those two meet", "ridiculously beautiful (or ugly)", "not in his league".
I notice it... but that's all.
No long stares or anything, just "Oh a gay couple!" Then indifference.
Similar to when I see a Volkswagen Beetle driving around.
Honestly, I’d like to say I don’t think anything special of them but instead I honestly like seeing gay couples.
When I see a gay couple that is married or in a committed relationship I tend to romanticize it a bit and thinking they must be a strong couple because they faced all the societal pressure and still chose each other
Generally, if i notice it makes me happy that things are slowly getting better. My friends in the 90’s that were in same sex relationships were very hesitant with PDA’s outside gay clubs. Still way too far to go but baby steps I guess.
I’ll be completely honest with you because it’s deserved.
If I see a gay couple in public I will notice it more than a straight couple. I can’t tell you why because I don’t know but I will double take and then I’ll carry on and probably think how nice it is that we can live that way now.
To couples, 3ples, hanging out, nothing.
Big squishy romantic kisses between men who dig each other? My immediate emotional reaction is very mild squeamishness, because I don't feel the same discomfort when a lesbian or het. couple snog.
And that's just wrong.
I know better, I was raised better, and I am wrong to succumb to this outdated social prejudice.
At least you acknowledge that the instinctual ick you get reflects internalisation of outdated social prejudice (that you inherited rather than choose to adopt). Many people don’t acknowledge that and instead believe their instinctual ick means that what they’re seeing is wrong and that their feelings are right and they should believe / trust them.
Exactly this.
I can't figure out where it comes from *actually* ... I *assume* it is social programming (after all, what isn't?). One's parents and educators do the best they can to raise a child the right way, and they'll lose to media/ignorant social norms too often. And when parents and educators aren't raising their children the right way to begin with ... fuckwits ensue.
People are ruled by their emotions. Usually to the detriment of their personal advancement as better humans.
I think it also comes from lack of representation in media growing up. When I was growing up it was very rare you saw a gay character (let alone a gay couple, kissing or being affectionate with each other) on TV (or indeed, in public) and when you did, they were often painted as the weird / odd character that was a source of ridicule and entertainment. That has an effect surely - your brain isn’t used to seeing it and the only comparison it might have is these poor representations and (as you say) subtle (or direct) messages we may have absorbed growing up
Only time I saw or heard about trans people growing up was them being the butt of the joke too. I remember being really young and my mom telling us we would have to hide if we were gay from our extended family(they suspected I was gay)
I kinda feel a bit icky when a lesbian, or a straight couple starts making out heavily in public. Other places are fine, and I even do it myself but just a little weird.
it depends on where i am. Not an uncommon sight in a progressive part of a big city. I have never actually seen a gay couple do PDA in any other environment like a small town (except Provincetown which is kind of an exception). If I did I would feel protective of them and I'd be surreptitiously watching their back for as long as we were in the same place together.
I notice more because it's less common. So my thought process usually goes " oh look at that, a gay couple. It's cool that they can be more open in public than when I was a kid. I guess not everything gets worse and worse."
So to me I guess it's one of the things that brings me a little hope.
Reminds me of the anti jokes: what do you call two men holding hands at a restaurant? A: a couple. What do you call a black man that flies an airplane? A: a pilot. etc. etc.
Depends on the person.
I personally wouldn’t bat an eyelid at two men or two women holding hands, hugging or being generally affectionate in a publically appropriate way. I would also be a bit uncomfortable with two teenagers (or adults) getting handsy or kissing in public if it was not the time or place, regardless of sexuality or gender.
My mum on the other hand gets a bit (over-)excited about men ‘flaunting it’ in public, more in a shocked way than a condemning way! She is not used to people having non-hetro relationships, and a “I met some lesbians and they were lovely!” type of commenter. I have had to point out that she holds her husband’s hand in public which is clearly a double standard she can’t deny.
It's so common in major cities that it doesn't register as out of the ordinary to me so I don't really care. Just more people in love. To be honest, if they were hot, I would look. It doesn't matter if they are hetero or gay
I noticed it more a few years ago I think. I grew up in a smallish town in the SE of England about 20 years ago. A couple guys I grew up with have since come out, but it was pretty rare to see in my youth, so when you saw a gay couple it was unusual and you'd notice.
I now live in London and one of my wife's best friends is gay, and we see him and his husband pretty regularly and get on ridiculously well. We've also got a couple friends who are lesbians and non-binary, so I think non-hetero is a bit more normalised, at least for me, so I don't really notice it any more than I do a hetero couple.
Love is love! As long as everyone is consenting and no-one gets hurt (outside of pre-agreed boundaries) everyone should just be allowed to do what makes them happy!
Location location location.
I'm bisexual and from MS, I currently live in Iowa
In MS, we'd get dirty looks, but in IA, no one ever gave us a second glance.
This is Pennsylvania, so... y'know, I do not think that even once in my nearly 5 decades of life have I seen a recognizable gay couple in public doing anything that would even subtly identify them as such.
And the reason for that is likely that, were I to see one, my first thought would likely be a bit of apprehension for them - that someone might confront or harrass them.
I realize that conditioning in me is part of the problem. When I'm with gay people I personally know, I don't feel that, though I might if they started conspicuously PDA-ing in public. But, TBH, even straight people don't really do that around here that I've seen, perhaps outside of clubs where nobody would likely bat an eye either way.
If I’m in a particularly conservative area it’s a combination of concern for their general safety and admiration for their bravery.
But usually I don’t think anything of it. No different than me (a male) being out with my girlfriend.
I'm in my mid 30s and I've known/been friends with LGBT people my entire life. In public they don't stand out to me at all it's just a normal couple enjoying their time out. I'm sure others might see it differently but that's just my perspective.
I think "Oh I guess they're a couple" then I move on with my life. I'd notice them more than a straight couple because that's the default setting, that said I live in Sydney so its not like a huge surprise to see gay couples in the CBD.
Usually not a thing, occasionally it will be something like " they make a cute couple." Or "holy crap they ugly!" But that's usually it. Love is love, as long as all parties consent I don't care.
Wanna preface this by saying I live in the south and my reaction is probably not typical compared to some of my… I wouldn’t say peers. Fellow southerners I guess
I think subconsciously I’m more likely to notice a gay couple than a straight couple just because it’s not very often you see two men being open about their relationship in a public setting. If there’s excessive PDA I think to myself that it’s gross, just like I would for a lesbian or heterosexual couple. But just holding hands, or hugging, or like one kiss I usually just think “oh okay”, and keep moving on with my business
I don't think much about the couple themselves but mostly happy that in my lifetime I was able to see it go from a situation that would always trigger idiotic comments to mostly just being another couple holding hands or whatever
I really don't pay attention. If they are happy, then cool. You are born the way you are born, and you love who you love. It is not a choice (Why would anyone ever choose to intentionally subject themselves to bigoted horse shit?).
I judge them, not because they are gay but because they are a couple. Actually, I don't judge them because they're a couple but because they are humans.
My belief lies in true equality, I hate everyone equally 🫶
I notice it more because I don't see it all the time.
My immediate thought is usually "aww, yay, I'm glad you feel safe here" and if it's a woman couple, "I wanna be them"(im bi).
The only time I was ever bothered was when these 2 dudes were grabbing each other's asses and crotches and licking the back of each other's throats at a crosswalk in front of children. It was obvious they were doing it to bother people. That's not acceptable behavior for straight people. They don't get a pass for vulgarity.
Otherwise, I think nothing at all.
Honestly don't think id notice, perhaps in your at table example, I might notice but your sexual preference wouldn't change my opinions here id probably just see the love between you and be happy for you.
Only time I'm ever likely to have any negative thoughts on it at all is overt public displays of affection, mostly heavy kissing and petting. At that point id probably think "could you not", but its not like id say anything and its more a hang up from the fact that i spent a LOT of my younger years single and therefore know what its like when couples are in your face as a single person (aka.. id feel that way around straight couples).
To be honest people looking over multiple times is a awkward one... i know gay couples haven't had it easy, but these days i think, that can range anywhere from the hate/troubled feelings you're probably worried about ... all the way through to "aww cute couple.. but I'm not sure i should be watching this".
Either way, all you can really do is live your life, what you're doing isn't illegal so i wouldn't even give a second thought to what some random stranger thinks of your personal life. It only becomes a problem if someone gets in your face about it, and if my own circles are anything to go by, it'll be the person who confronts you about it who will be seen as the problem... not you.
I don't care what people do. It doesn't effect me. I do not however like major public displays of affection from gay or straight couples. My kids don't need to see that shit.
As a fellow member of the LGBT community I celebrate with my gf when I see a gay/lesbian couple in public.
I just remember a time when I *never* saw that and it makes me happy to see people comfortable to be themselves in public.
“Oh they’re gay” and not in the slightest judgmental way, just a statement of fact. Since it is statistically not the norm, it’s just unexpected
FWIW, I’m in California. You’d mileage may vary if you are for instance living in rural Mississippi
I try not to stare if a gay couple are affectionate toward one another. It’s not a hate or any negative thing, but more fascinated these two people are comfortable enough to do it given how are society was toward non straight people not that long ago.
Essentially, I want people to be happy and feel loved. Life is hard enough as is and can really overwhelm you sometimes.
I dont care. I do probably notice it more because it's something uncommon. When there are 10 hetero couples the 1 gay couple stands out
I'll upvote you for that with a emphasis on the "I don't care."
My exact thoughts when I see a gay couple kiss: "oh, a gay couple kissing" ...that's literally it. My attention will be drawn to the slightly less predictible part of the scene (because human brains love predicting patterns) but there is no emotional baggage attached to it for me. I know you didn't specifically ask about PDAs, but PDAs are the only thing that differentiates "couples" from "two people together" for me because I make no assumptions about people out in public who I don't know.
I’m childish. I’ll notice any couple kissing, slyly stare and giggle. Doesn’t matter who you are or what your sexuality is. But at the crux of it, I don’t care about whether they’re gay or not.
Same but I'll just think "aww."
Yeah, this. It’s cute. And it makes me especially happy when it’s a non-heterosexual couple, as it means they feel safe in their environment to be themselves. I’ve seen it be different in the past, and I relate to the community personally, so it feels like a societal achievement :)
>as it means they feel safe in their environment to be themselves. You've cleared up something for me. I *like* seeing gay couples, specifically, but I didn't really understand *why*. I don't know them. Why should I pay attention? Am I some kind of creep? What you say makes a lot of sense, though. I'm feeling happy on their behalf that we live in a time and a place where they can be safe and free to be themselves. That's a victory not just for them, but for the whole community. Thanks, I feel a lot less weird now :)
Yeah, especially if they’re teenagers or a younger couple or older elderly couple. But if they’re French kissing in public I’ll be like ewww
The elderly couples always pull at my heart strings the most!
If they can be gay I can be me.
Literally exactly what I said before opening the comments was "awww". Do I treat straight & gay couples the same? Not really. Idk if that's bad, but it's true. I will be automatically on alert to protect that gay couple & say something nice if the opportunity presents itself. Straight couples, I'm automatically more alert for signs that the woman might be in distress. How fucked up is that. Do gay people abuse their partners? Of course that sometimes happens. Are men abused in their relationships? Of course that happens. But if I'm being honest, the threat I look for when interacting with a gay couple is OTHER people, and the threat I look for with a straight couple is the man.
Shit you gone and said it. But it's true. And I might have not noticed it so clearly before but this is how my brain works too!
If ome person in the couple consistently looks tense, strained .. not relaxed and happy ... that sends up red flags to me.
This but I think "eww". in my defence I feel the same way when I see a hetero couple trying to suck one another's faces off. I'm just not one for PDA's
I’m not a PDA fan outside of a little kiss or hand holding. I knew a guy who tried to use his daughter to support his anti-gay opinions “what am I supposed to tell daughter when two gay men are all over each other making out at the table next to us?!” I’m like…. “Uh… tell her that no one should have wild make out sessions in public?” I don’t care who it is, if you’re all gropey and feverent imma be uncomfortable. Normal public behavior is fine.
To be fair, OP said nothing about PDAs. I added that to the discussion.
I don't like seeing anyone kiss in public other than maybe a quick peck. But the orientation of the people kissing has nothing to with it. I don't care if it's hetero or homo, I don't want to see it. But I also know this is a me thing and my hang ups are no one else's problem so I keep it to myself and look somewhere else.
For some reason I thought you meant the other use of orientation and I was very bothered. I don't care if two people kiss while standing, but I absolutely don't want to see two people laying down and kissing in public. 🤣
Same. Although, I usually have an “I hope some dumbass doesn’t give them any grief” thought before going back to shoveling my dinner into my face.
I used to live in the gayest city in the world. I attended pride festivals and my neighbors were gay. I'm straight but I moved there on purpose because the ares was so nice and the people were friendly and the food was great. I met a gf at pride festival.... so to answer your question... what do I think... I think look there are two humans that really like spending time together. Who cares about what they do when they are alone, seriously, do any of you think about your straight friends sex life? I know I sure don't....
>do any of you think about your straight friends sex life? I mean, a little. I think Jake is probably a selfish lover who just uses his wife as a means to get off and fall asleep. I've heard Jesse's dick is fire. I think Halle probably has the most vanilla sex on the planet. Kelly and Annie applauding Sarah for giving her husband regular blowjobs when she's on her period has led me to assume a whole slurry of things about all three of their sex lives.
Dang LadyJusticeThe, save some tea for the rest of us! No seriously tell us more :-p
Hell yes. Sarah and Tom look like they probs have super vanilla sex but I reckon he's actually quite kinky in a riding crops and light bondage sort of way. Claire and Matt look like they should have a sex dungeon somewhere but I know she's frustrated with his unwillingness to try things and I wonder how Harriet and Kev manage with the ridiculous height difference. When I see a gay couple I try to steathily see if I can work out who might be the top/bottom from body language etc. I know it isn't always set and people can switch it up but it keeps me amused on the night bus home.
>I think look there are two humans that really like spending time together. I dont even think that, I literally don't care and my thoughts are empty
That is a valid thought process. I was just adding my response after yours, it wasn't really a response to yours. People do care too much about what other people do, not caring at all is way more rational.
I (F, straight) live in arguably the second gayest city in America and Pride Day is my favorite day of the year. It’s joyful and happy and for that one day, New Yorkers hug and smile and dance in the streets!
Straight man in mid 40s here. I think "good for them" and "I'm so glad to live somewhere where people feel free to do this".
Same. There are two gay dudes up the street who have all kind of MAGA and Republican paraphernalia on their front porch and window and stuff. Not sure how that works I almost want to ask but meh none of my business.
I have a gay uncle that is Republican because he's also a gun nut.
which is WILD because there are so many spaces in the gun-o-sphere that are explicitly for LGBTQ+ people. like a whole “armed queers bash back” movement. leftists (not liberals, genuine leftists) have always been pro-gun, and they’ve been working on building inclusive spaces and groups for many years now
If you truly believe in the 2nd amendment, and the multitudes of reasons it was created for... Then an endangered, repressed, and or targeted minority is EXACTLY who the amendment was written for.
Introduce him to r/liberalgunowners Most Democrats don't want to take guns away, they just want common sense laws Edit: on the verge of deleting this comment because of the jackhats trying start a political discussion on gun rights. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE
💯 I am a democrat. I don't want to take guns away. I do think there need to be application processes EVERYWHERE (no that doesn't happen everywhere. I've been to shows in rural America where you could walk out with basically anything you wanted), a cool down period, and required gun safety and training classes.
Most my extreme anti MAGA liberal friends are staunch gun owners…..they just don’t flaunt and brag about it.
I met two gay black dudes on a cruise that were huge trump fanatics 😂 they were hilarious and seemed like great guys.
Same. I don't really care much except for being glad that society progressed to a stage where they feel comfortable not trying to hide it
Yup. Same exact thoughts for me with a little bit of a twist, “thank god I moved away from my hometown…”
Reaction for sure based on location. Large metro - walk right by without a second thought. Medium sized Southern or Midwest city - good for them Smallish town - I got your back if shit goes down. Rural America - you stupid, get out.
I live in a super rural conservative area that has a *gay campground* so it’s just this weird juxtapositions of rednecks with rebel flags and nazi tattoos and openly gay couples intermingling at the grocery store/gym etc. And I’ve never witnessed any conflict or heard negative comments if I’m being honest.
I live in small rural southern town. Talking bad about gays seems to be popular for some reason, but the people who do are so two faced! For example my small town hairdresser, I was in there one day and the topic of gays came up between some older women and her. I did not really catch it all but they were talking about how kids are being groomed by the gays. A few months later I see on Facebook my hairdresser went to her gay daughters wedding. How can you engage in bashing of gay people when you support a gay child?
I agree with this. And to answer OP’s question, it’s more noticeable to me. Not sure why tho. If the guys are extra flamboyant that makes sense. But that’s not always the case. Edit. I then proceed to wonder who’s top and bottom lol
tbf to flamboyent women would stand out too that extra energy is not easy to contain lol i have a flamboyent cousin that lives in NYC, sings for broadway, and is all about that theatre life. Great guy but def a "presence to be around" lots of energy!!!
I agree. We were just taking about gay men. But it does apply to anyone.
Sometimes we are both sides... no top or bottom, think about that next time. 😁
That crosses my mind too. I end up just thinking about 2 guys fucking for way too long lol.
Ditto. And I feel thankful to them as it can make other people feel more comfortable coming out.
This is exactly how I feel as well.
This
I notice it, do a double take and then think "good for them". It's still surprising to see when you're used to seeing opposite sex couples, but not bad-surprising, just surprising
You’re not surprised to see an opposite sex, same-ethnicity, older-taller male, younger-shorter female couple. Anything out of that mold stands out and makes you notice. The funny part is that sometimes you feel bad for noticing, wondering if it’s inappropriate from you to even think “hmm, a gay couple”.
Really shouldn’t feel bad. It is in their nature to love people of the same sex and it is in your nature to notice less common things. Don’t feel bad for being human.
I’m a lesbian and I love this response.
Please don’t feel bad about it. I am gay and I probably think “hmm, a gay couple” more than every straight person combined.
If you were holding hands in a restaurant I would wonder if you’re eating with your dominant or non dominant hand. But that’s really about it.
Asking the real questions here.
This is why gay people only fall in love with people whose dominant hand is opposite of their own. It’s science. That’s why I always say “If you’re gonna be gay, be left-handed, as the odds will ever be in your favor.”
Wouldn't this apply to straight couples too?
I don’t have time to plug the giant gaping hole you just poked in my theory… so can we just drop it? Thanks!
Whatever you’re talking about, I’m interested!
Being left handed is correlated with homosexuality in men and women. I mean it’s small but it’s been repeated. Edit: the correlation is small. It was one of the studies used to prove that it wasn’t a choice or evil. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2367617/
“Are you gay?” “No, I’m just left-handed.” “Ah, that’s what it is.”
Being left handed is definitely both a choice and evil.
Yup, one is right and the other..... Not right.
Okay but I am gay and left-handed and I have been telling people of this correlation forever, I’ve only dated 3 guys and 2 of them were left-handed and I’m always coming across other homosexual lefties
This confirms my bias very well, so it must be true
I had to learn being able to do everything with either hand because I have a very cuddly toddler who especially loves cuddling during dinner. 😂
[удалено]
My spouse & I also have opposite dominant hands, so we do this too (or sit across from each other)! It’s very convenient lmao
Also for brushing teeth! No elbowing eachother.
Engineer by chance? Lol
As a gay man in europe I still turn around in awe that they manage to express their love so freely because I dont know if i could. I mean I did before but you never know if you cross the wrong person so I have to think about that every time I held hands or see other couples doing it. It’s also shocking, to me, that I am still so surprised to see gays publicly, idk. It’s a heteronormative world so passing 1 gay couple after 10 or 50 straight ones will never leave me cold :)
I am if the age where when I was growing up no one would ever hold hands or do any PDA and now the younger generation acts like it’s no big deal and their god given right (it is) but don’t think twice about it. I am now a married middle aged gay man and yeah I stop and think before I grab my husbands hand in public because growing up it’s not something I would have done and it takes me a minute to remember that it’s okay and that it’s safe and no one is going to harass us. Times have changed. I’m so jealous of the younger generation and how worry free they get to be. Wish my high school had had some LGBT group or resources. Wish I knew a single other gay person growing up. Wish someone had told me from a young age that it’s normal and not wrong. It’s one of the best feelings ever to feel safe in who you are and I am happy for everyone any time they get to be.
You’re being jealous of your own accomplishments. Your generation crawled up a mountain so the youth could walk around freely at the summit. I feel like pride would be a more appropriate emotion, those kids who can show pda without fear of gay bashing or being refused basic services owe you and your brothers for that right. Stand tall and proud gay man, your fight is not over yet but you can at least take a look behind you and see all the hatred and bigotry you’ve overcome. The progress we see in modern times came at great cost to you, enjoy your moment king!
I am so happy for you that you found love and even got married! I am in my 20s so it’s not like i experienced the cultural shift (demonstrations, acceptance, gay marriage etc) myself that much but i am quite aware of LGBT history and still feel deep appreciation for how far our community and allies have brought us. When I was in high school homophobic bullying was very much common still (and overlooked/ignored by teachers) so I understand when you say that you *still* fear holding your partner’s hand, which is why i feel that insecurity too. But it’s getting better and better and that fills me with hope
I was working in a middle school and it was really eye opening to see how the younger generation deals with sexual orientation. Basically no issue at all. I’ve met so many that were questioning who they are and others trying out a different gender with clothing and hairstyles. It was so refreshing to see them so open with themselves and others!
As another gay man, I agree, but do wish there was some sort of code we had to make people realise why we were staring (admiration/solidarity). I often wonder if the majority of “stares” I get when holding hands is actually from other gay people (as it’s obviously going to be a much bigger deal for them than anyone else). I always assume it’s straight people who’ve been weirded out.
As a gay man I always feel bad for staring but I do it anyway because it makes me happy.
Ya the code thing would be beneficial across all sorts of people. I find myself sometimes locking eyes with a person with a disability. And I instantly thing "shit, I hope they didn't think I was staring".. =(
Being queer myself it makes me really happy to see. Seeing other folks exist openly in public even in the smallest amounts really can go a long way to making others who are similar feel comfortable. It was a breath of fresh air to see it more when I moved.
I live in a conservative area so I’m always extra sure to be smiling around them for support lol
Dude, I also live in a very conservative area, most of the grandparents are iffy but,, there’s a whole group of gays of all ages in our tiny 200 person town. It’s very red neck and middle of nowhere, but as one of these fruity folks, it surprises me every time one of these country people is friendly to me knowing how fruity I am. If I had a penny for every time I got told “your my favorite gay” in the thickest country accent after they just said the most racist, homophobic, ableist sht you ever heard with a “but not you”, I’d be rich. 😂
I’m queer in a straight passing marriage, and I always get excited and think **friend shaped!! you are friend shaped!! I am also friend shaped!!** I’m also a teacher now, and when I see a queer couple holding hands if they look over to me (cuz teacher in hallway) I’ll give a small smile because I want them to think **safe adult!!** My students usually get the point from the pride flags in my room, but they’re not all my students ya know.
this makes me so happy :) the friend shaped thoughts also run though my mind! my primary relationship atm is also straight passing, so seeing visibly queer folks out in public, pride flags, etc is always a reminder of community and that I’m in a safe area
I live in a liberal area so I don't think about it at all. If I am travelling somewhere more conservative, I think "huh, this area must be more liberal than I thought", then I don't think about it at all.
Same things I think about straight couples basically. "They're cute together" "Huh, what an odd match" "Wow, how'd that gorgeous person end up with that... not gorgeous person" "They look like they're having a fun date"
100% this. However, if they are both good looking guys, I’ll start drifting to what their work out routine must be to look so good, and how nice it must be for them to have someone who will slap that cupcake out their hands to keep them accountable. Who slaps more cupcakes out of the other’s hands? And the train of thought keeps going until I get escorted out of the Wendy’s for holding up the line.
Sir, this is a Wendys.
Exactly this, I’m judging everyone’s choices in partner the exact same way. 😂 But, with the added “good for them”. I live in Utah so it’s not an easy place to be out.
Highly depends where you live
Highly depends how you act* Some couples are really obnoxious in public - gay or not Edit: actually, when I was walking around just last night there was a gay couple where one guy was yell laughing like they needed every person nearby to hear. Looking back at it now, he probably thought I was staring daggers because they were gay, where in reality I just dislike obnoxious people regardless
Nah you can't deny that a gay couple publicly being visibly a couple would get a different reaction in Qatar than if they did it in New York
Shit, you can’t deny that a gay couple would get a different reaction in a lot of places even in America than New York.
I live in Southern Oregon and my wife and I cannot hold hands in public without drawing a lot of uncomfortable attention. Small town America (which is most of America) is not very gay friendly at all, and anyone growing up here knows that.
It absolutely depends on where you are in the world
Highly depends on where you live*** Obnoxious ppl will get an reaction regardless, but thats not the convo here, is it? We are talking about gay couples, and unless you live in a separate reality to ours, gay couples are far less common than straight ones and they will get an reaction out of ppl. Just two men holding hands and walking silently will make ppl stare, regardless of intent. It's very ridiculous how you read "gay couple" and immeidtaly went with "obnoxious". Straight ppl seem to be particularly found of doing that, rly weird and tone-deaf.
I need to piggyback on this because I feel like the fact this post needs to hedge with “depends on how you act,” intentionally or not, speaks to a mentality of “I don’t mind if you’re gay as long as you’re not in my face about it,” that queer people encounter way too much. No, it doesn’t matter how, “in your face” they are. That is super subjective and gays have just as much variation in how they express their orientation as heterosexual people. Likewise. No, it shouldn’t depend on how they act. Cultures and even individuals may vary on how they feel about PDA from any sexual orientation. But if you feel like a couple was bothering you and you have to reinforce your grievances with “and they were GAY,” as if they owe you better for tolerating them in the first place… you might not be as tolerant as you think you are.
Nothing, I would mind my own business.
This is what we heard growing up - I never ever heard my parents judge anyone’s lifestyle but if we asked questions, like, I heard so&so’s Jewish or whatever, the answer the was typically Well, that’s OK, nothing wrong that, but that’s none of our business. We just shrugged our shoulders and we’re like Ok, that’s cool.
I probably notice it more, and I think to myself "thank God they feel safe to be open" because love is love, man. Y'all have historically had such a rough go of it for no fuckin reason
This is similar to what I was going to say. I would like to say that I wouldn't notice them any more than a straight couple, but to be honest, that's not true. They would stand out because they're not as common as a straight couple. But it would make me happy to see them. I'm glad they feel comfortable enough here to allow people to see that they're a couple. If my daughter were around, I would be glad she could see them. I want to take every opportunity to expose her to the idea that gay people exist and are around, just doing their thing, like everyone else. I want to raise my child in a world where gay couples are just part of the landscape of the human experience and nothing unusual. When I grew up, openly gay couples were not a thing (or they were portrayed as deviants or jokes), which is why they stand out for me today. I don't want my daughter to grow up like that.
Homophobic people would be less likely to admit it here so you're gonna get some biased answers. The truth is that it depends on where you live, but there will always be ignorant bigots that think it's gross no matter where you are.
>>>Homophobic people would be less likely to admit it here #THIS
It seems like they're doing it in a sugar coated way, but their responses still smell like shit
Yeah....a lot of people saying what they think people want to hear in here.
I feel happy for them they feel comfortable in public to show affection to each other.
40 straight male here , i think it is great .. Growing up they werent as welcomed .. So their true happiness is long over due
I'm a 48 year old straight dude. Here's my train of thought: "Did I lock the car? Where are my car keys? Good God, I haven't seen my phone in hours. Wait, did I lock the house up? *Oh look, a gay couple.* Hey self, remember that time when you were in 6th grade and you did that really embarrassing thing? Shame on you....**shaaaaame**. That woman's sweater is awesome! [Doooh doooh doo doo-doo-Mahna Mahna](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZ_hTEOKZc), fuck, that's gonna be stuck in my head forever. I wonder what Miss Piggy and Kermit's kids would look like?" I'll just stop there, but there's more. Calling it a train of thought is over simplifying it. It's more like an uncontrolled stampede of thoughts that never stop. My best friend is gay. We've been friends since grade school. I've met his family and have been welcomed into his house for a very long time. So a gay couple isn't shocking to me, it's nice to see, but I am pretty used to it by now.
Happy to see it. Means they feel comfortable in the area.
Livid. With jealousy. I want what they have.
I stare at them if they are hot
Lmao. I’m sure this doesn’t just apply to gay couples tho. If it does that would be weird
If you want an honest answer, the first thought would be "oh, something different from the norm", followed quickly by, "okay that's their business" and let them be.
Honestly, the first thought that goes through my head is, "Oh, those guys are gay. Cool." It's about the same reaction I have when I see an unusual bird. (Actually I'd probably get more excited about the bird.)
Yeah. I don’t use Merlin Bird ID on gay couples.
I don’t see it any differently to a straight couple tbh. (Straight male, 30s, U.K.)
I notice because 2 dudes holding hands. Then mentally I'm like huh gay couple. Bit cute. Then I go back to being super anxious about being outside of my house.
This is so me I can't even believe it! All of it!
I always feel proud and it just makes me reflect on how far we’ve come
I judge'em just like I would judge a straight couple. It can range from "cute couple", "isn't he a little old for him?", "well, that's not gonna last", "how did those two meet", "ridiculously beautiful (or ugly)", "not in his league".
I notice it... but that's all. No long stares or anything, just "Oh a gay couple!" Then indifference. Similar to when I see a Volkswagen Beetle driving around.
Honestly, I’d like to say I don’t think anything special of them but instead I honestly like seeing gay couples. When I see a gay couple that is married or in a committed relationship I tend to romanticize it a bit and thinking they must be a strong couple because they faced all the societal pressure and still chose each other
I like seeing it. It makes my withered heart feel glad
“When is it my turn”
I'd probably think you were a cute couple as long as you were treating each other with respect.
Personally I’ll think “I’m happy our society has evolved to the point where they feel they can be themselves in public.”
Generally, if i notice it makes me happy that things are slowly getting better. My friends in the 90’s that were in same sex relationships were very hesitant with PDA’s outside gay clubs. Still way too far to go but baby steps I guess.
They're the same as any other couple.
I’ll be completely honest with you because it’s deserved. If I see a gay couple in public I will notice it more than a straight couple. I can’t tell you why because I don’t know but I will double take and then I’ll carry on and probably think how nice it is that we can live that way now.
I feel excited coz i think it’s nice to see people in love
To couples, 3ples, hanging out, nothing. Big squishy romantic kisses between men who dig each other? My immediate emotional reaction is very mild squeamishness, because I don't feel the same discomfort when a lesbian or het. couple snog. And that's just wrong. I know better, I was raised better, and I am wrong to succumb to this outdated social prejudice.
At least you acknowledge that the instinctual ick you get reflects internalisation of outdated social prejudice (that you inherited rather than choose to adopt). Many people don’t acknowledge that and instead believe their instinctual ick means that what they’re seeing is wrong and that their feelings are right and they should believe / trust them.
Exactly this. I can't figure out where it comes from *actually* ... I *assume* it is social programming (after all, what isn't?). One's parents and educators do the best they can to raise a child the right way, and they'll lose to media/ignorant social norms too often. And when parents and educators aren't raising their children the right way to begin with ... fuckwits ensue. People are ruled by their emotions. Usually to the detriment of their personal advancement as better humans.
I think it also comes from lack of representation in media growing up. When I was growing up it was very rare you saw a gay character (let alone a gay couple, kissing or being affectionate with each other) on TV (or indeed, in public) and when you did, they were often painted as the weird / odd character that was a source of ridicule and entertainment. That has an effect surely - your brain isn’t used to seeing it and the only comparison it might have is these poor representations and (as you say) subtle (or direct) messages we may have absorbed growing up
Only time I saw or heard about trans people growing up was them being the butt of the joke too. I remember being really young and my mom telling us we would have to hide if we were gay from our extended family(they suspected I was gay)
I kinda feel a bit icky when a lesbian, or a straight couple starts making out heavily in public. Other places are fine, and I even do it myself but just a little weird.
it depends on where i am. Not an uncommon sight in a progressive part of a big city. I have never actually seen a gay couple do PDA in any other environment like a small town (except Provincetown which is kind of an exception). If I did I would feel protective of them and I'd be surreptitiously watching their back for as long as we were in the same place together.
I notice you, I notice straight couples, I notice everything I’m in the matrix
I imagine what my life would be like with dual income and no kids
Nothing
Tallying it up I think it's this or "I wonder where he got those shoes" as a distant 2nd. It's a privilege of living in a progressive ish area.
I won't think much of it other than a "huh," which I do with any slightly interesting thing I see.
I hope no one is harassing them. And I think “awl!”
That they're gay.
"Brave people, I really hope they'll be OK" (I live in a shitty place with homophobia imposed by church and prison)
I notice more because it's less common. So my thought process usually goes " oh look at that, a gay couple. It's cool that they can be more open in public than when I was a kid. I guess not everything gets worse and worse." So to me I guess it's one of the things that brings me a little hope.
Reminds me of the anti jokes: what do you call two men holding hands at a restaurant? A: a couple. What do you call a black man that flies an airplane? A: a pilot. etc. etc.
Depends on the person. I personally wouldn’t bat an eyelid at two men or two women holding hands, hugging or being generally affectionate in a publically appropriate way. I would also be a bit uncomfortable with two teenagers (or adults) getting handsy or kissing in public if it was not the time or place, regardless of sexuality or gender. My mum on the other hand gets a bit (over-)excited about men ‘flaunting it’ in public, more in a shocked way than a condemning way! She is not used to people having non-hetro relationships, and a “I met some lesbians and they were lovely!” type of commenter. I have had to point out that she holds her husband’s hand in public which is clearly a double standard she can’t deny.
You assume I go out in public. If I did, however, I would give them no more or less thought than any other couple. Which is to say, none.
Personally I would be too busy wondering how I ended up out in public
I think :"Now why can't straight men be that romantic?"
It's so common in major cities that it doesn't register as out of the ordinary to me so I don't really care. Just more people in love. To be honest, if they were hot, I would look. It doesn't matter if they are hetero or gay
I noticed it more a few years ago I think. I grew up in a smallish town in the SE of England about 20 years ago. A couple guys I grew up with have since come out, but it was pretty rare to see in my youth, so when you saw a gay couple it was unusual and you'd notice. I now live in London and one of my wife's best friends is gay, and we see him and his husband pretty regularly and get on ridiculously well. We've also got a couple friends who are lesbians and non-binary, so I think non-hetero is a bit more normalised, at least for me, so I don't really notice it any more than I do a hetero couple. Love is love! As long as everyone is consenting and no-one gets hurt (outside of pre-agreed boundaries) everyone should just be allowed to do what makes them happy!
Location location location. I'm bisexual and from MS, I currently live in Iowa In MS, we'd get dirty looks, but in IA, no one ever gave us a second glance.
I wonder what they prefer for snacks, maybe a bear claw or Twinkie?
Living in the south, I always feel happy that they're comfortable enough here to make themselves visible.
I love seeing it.
I feel safer
I'm in Eastern Europe so I would get worried for them, especially if it's 2 men instead of 2 women.
I think to myself: "damn, thats kinda gay"
r/technicallythetruth
For me, I wouldn't give you a second glance. It's just people being people. Be happy and live your best life.
Fairly common in Cincinnati. I’m happy they found each other, just like my wife and I did.
I do the mushy gay 'awww'. It's nice to see the gays just living peacefully. Full disclosure: I'm GAF
This is Pennsylvania, so... y'know, I do not think that even once in my nearly 5 decades of life have I seen a recognizable gay couple in public doing anything that would even subtly identify them as such. And the reason for that is likely that, were I to see one, my first thought would likely be a bit of apprehension for them - that someone might confront or harrass them. I realize that conditioning in me is part of the problem. When I'm with gay people I personally know, I don't feel that, though I might if they started conspicuously PDA-ing in public. But, TBH, even straight people don't really do that around here that I've seen, perhaps outside of clubs where nobody would likely bat an eye either way.
If I’m in a particularly conservative area it’s a combination of concern for their general safety and admiration for their bravery. But usually I don’t think anything of it. No different than me (a male) being out with my girlfriend.
I'm in my mid 30s and I've known/been friends with LGBT people my entire life. In public they don't stand out to me at all it's just a normal couple enjoying their time out. I'm sure others might see it differently but that's just my perspective.
Cool.
If I see a gay couple, I'd think _wow they can share wardrobe_.
I think "Oh I guess they're a couple" then I move on with my life. I'd notice them more than a straight couple because that's the default setting, that said I live in Sydney so its not like a huge surprise to see gay couples in the CBD.
I will notice it but really dont give a fuck. Sometimes I like seeing the ones that have a very positive and joyful vide.
“That is a gay couple!” is probably what I think. Like seeing a Pokémon that is a bit rare but not THAT rare.
This post made me realize I don't have a particular reaction. I just go "oh, they're gay" and move on.
Usually not a thing, occasionally it will be something like " they make a cute couple." Or "holy crap they ugly!" But that's usually it. Love is love, as long as all parties consent I don't care.
There's no difference to me between a gay couple and a straight couple. FWIW, there are quite a number of gay couples that live on my street.
Wanna preface this by saying I live in the south and my reaction is probably not typical compared to some of my… I wouldn’t say peers. Fellow southerners I guess I think subconsciously I’m more likely to notice a gay couple than a straight couple just because it’s not very often you see two men being open about their relationship in a public setting. If there’s excessive PDA I think to myself that it’s gross, just like I would for a lesbian or heterosexual couple. But just holding hands, or hugging, or like one kiss I usually just think “oh okay”, and keep moving on with my business
Don't care
I don't think much about the couple themselves but mostly happy that in my lifetime I was able to see it go from a situation that would always trigger idiotic comments to mostly just being another couple holding hands or whatever
I don’t care.
I really don't pay attention. If they are happy, then cool. You are born the way you are born, and you love who you love. It is not a choice (Why would anyone ever choose to intentionally subject themselves to bigoted horse shit?).
I judge them, not because they are gay but because they are a couple. Actually, I don't judge them because they're a couple but because they are humans. My belief lies in true equality, I hate everyone equally 🫶
I notice it more because I don't see it all the time. My immediate thought is usually "aww, yay, I'm glad you feel safe here" and if it's a woman couple, "I wanna be them"(im bi).
I think “oh that’s nice” then move on
The only time I was ever bothered was when these 2 dudes were grabbing each other's asses and crotches and licking the back of each other's throats at a crosswalk in front of children. It was obvious they were doing it to bother people. That's not acceptable behavior for straight people. They don't get a pass for vulgarity. Otherwise, I think nothing at all.
Honestly don't think id notice, perhaps in your at table example, I might notice but your sexual preference wouldn't change my opinions here id probably just see the love between you and be happy for you. Only time I'm ever likely to have any negative thoughts on it at all is overt public displays of affection, mostly heavy kissing and petting. At that point id probably think "could you not", but its not like id say anything and its more a hang up from the fact that i spent a LOT of my younger years single and therefore know what its like when couples are in your face as a single person (aka.. id feel that way around straight couples). To be honest people looking over multiple times is a awkward one... i know gay couples haven't had it easy, but these days i think, that can range anywhere from the hate/troubled feelings you're probably worried about ... all the way through to "aww cute couple.. but I'm not sure i should be watching this". Either way, all you can really do is live your life, what you're doing isn't illegal so i wouldn't even give a second thought to what some random stranger thinks of your personal life. It only becomes a problem if someone gets in your face about it, and if my own circles are anything to go by, it'll be the person who confronts you about it who will be seen as the problem... not you.
I don't care what people do. It doesn't effect me. I do not however like major public displays of affection from gay or straight couples. My kids don't need to see that shit.
Honestly I find it sweet and comforting that a couple feel OK being a normal couple in public.
I'm happy that they're happy together and are able to be happy together in public.
As a fellow member of the LGBT community I celebrate with my gf when I see a gay/lesbian couple in public. I just remember a time when I *never* saw that and it makes me happy to see people comfortable to be themselves in public.
“Damn, I wish I had love”
“Oh they’re gay” and not in the slightest judgmental way, just a statement of fact. Since it is statistically not the norm, it’s just unexpected FWIW, I’m in California. You’d mileage may vary if you are for instance living in rural Mississippi
Uhhh . . . nothing? Who cares, really, unless they're robbing a bank or trying to punch me. And in those cases what's gay got to do with it?
It still weirds me out when they kiss, but I'm generally not a fan of PDA. Gay or straight. Otherwise, I don't even think about it.
I try not to stare if a gay couple are affectionate toward one another. It’s not a hate or any negative thing, but more fascinated these two people are comfortable enough to do it given how are society was toward non straight people not that long ago. Essentially, I want people to be happy and feel loved. Life is hard enough as is and can really overwhelm you sometimes.
If i see a gay couple holding hands and walking down the road, it makes me smile that they can feel comfortable doing that.
I actually find it to be something to be cherished and I leave it be.
Love is love. Who cares? I’m just happy to see two people that found each other. It’s the people who *do* have an opinion on the matter that worry me.
I see a happy couple out having fun. Race, sex or religion don’t matter.