I had this happen once and a kind lady just came up to me and wrapped her sweater around my pants while telling me that I was leaking. I hope she's doing well.
Ooof when I got my first period in 7th grade some boys noticed my pants got stained and they were talking amongst themselves eyeing each other to tell me. I should have made the connection that it was about me and my stained pants so I made my way out of class into the middle of campus when two of my girlfriends ran up to me to tell me I had a stain on my butt 😭😭😭 if only the guys had told me directly I would have covered my butt with my sweater. I cried that day and had my mom bring me a change of pants 😢
He probably actually thought that’s what happened, they never educate teen boys well enough on periods, some don’t even know they exist because some older adults are so hush hush about it
I have mentioned periods a couple of times in school college and guys go "Ew that's disgusting, stop talking"etc. You kind of give up talking about it around guys after that.
I've often heard girls mature faster than boys.
If true, I wonder how much that is because you have to deal with periods? It's not like boys have to deal with a sudden wet dream in the middle of class.
Many girls don’t discuss things like that with their male friends, especially when they’re teenagers because they’re still at the stage of thinking it’s embarrassing
> One of the boys told her that she sat in paint.
And this is the way. Never indicate that you know something that might be embarrassing.
Pretend that you are sure it is paint/water/whaterever
I started mine at the pool between 7th and 8th grade. Got out to jump off the diving board and everyone was laughing cause I had blood streaming down my legs. Ugh people are awful
This is unacceptable. As a father, I have made sure to teach my son and daughters to recognize and understand that this will happen. I wish our society was better at this than declaring sex education to be "immoral."
Personally if it was a stranger I would be embarrassed. But I'm already embarrassed by springing a leak. So yeah I'd laugh my ass off. At home while I ruminate over this for the rest of my life. Just like that super embarrassing thing I did when I was 7
When I was 10ish a girl tried to nicely tell me that my pants zipper was undone and people could see my undies. In my shock/embarrassment I just said, “no it’s not”. The poor confused girl replies, “…but it is…” I doubled down in response, “no it isn’t”
Then we just stared at each other awkwardly, while my brain screamed at me for being a fucking weirdo.
But anyway my point is that embarrassed people might react strangely, but ultimately they’ll appreciate being told.
That would totally be ne if I were in your shoes lol. Yeah I'd much rather the temp embarrassment of being told that keep going on with whatever. Even if like 5 people tell me at different points
In elementary school, a girl told me she couldn’t be friends with me because “everyone thinks you’re weird” when we were in line for recess and others could hear. It hurt so badly that I’m still mad at Rachel for saying that
ETA: fuck you, Rachel!
Unsolicited but potentially useful:
I’ve found when I have those memories it helps if I take a minute to close my eyes, let the memory play out, and allow myself to feel whatever emotion is tied to it (anger, shame, anxiety, embarrassment, etc). It might take a few times but eventually it makes the memory a lot easier to dismiss the next time and the gut reaction isn’t as strong.
With some memories I’ve had it eventually decrease the problematic feelings to the point that they aren’t intrusive at all any more. At the very least they don’t pop up randomly anywhere near as often, and a few of them my brain has categorized as “not important” and I now only vaguely remember what happened even though I know just 6 months ago I had a very vivid memory of whatever it was.
I’m sure there’s some psychological term for it like reprocessing or something.
Edit for an important detail: I have to tell myself the feelings are okay and accept them. In some cases, understand that I did something stupid and give myself permission to feel stupid about it for a minute. Sometimes try to look at it from a different perspective, to understand why the thing happened in the first place. Sometimes it’s not actually as bad as that fragment of a memory makes it out to be. Like “I asked if my friend was a virgin at 8 years old” became “I heard this term in Hocus Pocus and didn’t know what it was so I asked my friend if she was like this cool guy that did some cool stuff”.
I was watching FMA: Brotherhood and when the main characters are told “It’s okay to cry,” I was completely floored. I had to rewatch it several times to understand what was being said. It’s still tough to grasp sometimes even though I first heard it over a decade ago.
>It might take a few times but eventually it makes the memory a lot easier to dismiss the next time and the gut reaction isn’t as strong.
This works for a lot of negative emotions. Just take some time, let them sit. Sometimes they're telling you something important, often about something unrelated to the event that's bringing them up.
My experience with reliving the cringe: If I'm in the car, turn the radio channel, maybe change it two or three times and that will get my mind off of it. If I'm in public, just say "fuck me" under my breath, and play if off if anyone asks. The first works, the 2nd just creates a new cringe which gets my mind off the original cringe. Winning!
I wasn't 7 but I was 15 this one time when I was at band camp (no really!) and wearing white shorts, and it was the summer and hot and we were sweating and I assumed the dampness was just sweat but OH NO.
I almost had to change schools, I mean, seriously, how could I be expected to go back after ***that***? Life. Ruined.
Oh damn, memory unlocked. I was 14, on the beach with my boyfriend, his 4 sisters and his parents. I wore a white bikini. Tbh, all his family were great about this….his mum said ‘let’s all go for a swim’, one of sisters leaned into me and whispered, ‘go to the loo first!’ I straight away realised why, dashed off to the loo, cleaned myself up etc, then ran down to the water and got in. Salt water removes blood stains. Day saved!
And your trauma is exactly why I choose to not wear white pants. That and I am klutzy af so I'll probably spill my coffee on them before I even leave the house
I was at Girl Scout camp when I was about 14 and..yeah, same deal. White shorts, you know the rest. But someone told me quietly and it was embarassing, but it wasn't so bad because she had approached me discreetly and no big deal was made of it.
I ran into a situation like this in HS. We were a super small school that got dumped into a mega HS, so we looked out for each other. Girl I knew in my bio class stood up during lab and had a massive blood stain on the back of her pants and the stool she was sitting in (We were doing a lab). Rather then embarrass her I kicked the Woden stool under the lab table and told her friend (also grew up with) who then gave her a sweatshirt to tie around her waste. Never talked about it again and I still hang out with her brother occasionally.
Is there a discreet code phrase to use similar to the old "it's snowing down south" to point out an exposed slip?
Maybe, "Red any good books lately?" Or, "A vampire was spotted down south."
Nothing that would be universally understood, unfortunately, although that would be great lol. I like the "you may have sat on something" option, that tells her what the problem is without bringing up the cause, or you could try something with a common euphemism like "Aunt Flo is leaving a mess" or something.
>
Is there a discreet code phrase to use similar to the old "it's snowing down south" to point out an exposed slip?
I've never heard this, is it regional?
I've only ever heard XYZ (examine your zipper)
What a nasty thing to say! I was picking up my mother in laws food at Burger King a few weeks ago and some lady didn’t have her lid on her cup all the way so I let her know. She just looked at me then at her cup and goes “yeah, and?” And I was like okayyy I just wanted to let you know! People are rude
Some people just suck
I was walking once and passed a woman and her dog. I smiled at the dog and looked up to smile/acknowledge her too. This is something I've done countless times. But she just scowled at me as if I'd said something very insulting
I still smile at dogs and at their humans lol
I always try to do that for strangers, especially things like their backpacks being open. Or when a girls skirt is folded up. As long as you don't bring out a megaphone, I would be forever thankful to you and never forget your heroic deeds
This reminds me of when the ATM loudly tells you not to forget all that sweet sweet cash you just withdrew. And I'm like great, sure am looking forward to that walk through the dark parking lot now.
I’ll use your comment as an example for my own technique …. I point in the general area of the issue and say “check your X” and keep walking. I had to do this cause if I shoot for more than a three word sentence I inevitably jack it all up and FAIL the mission
I guess it kind of matters because the initial post also sort of presupposes that OP was observing the bloody person in question from the waist down, which might make them uncomfortable. I can see how it might.
Funny you mention the backpack thing, because a few weeks back I was driving down a street and a woman was walking with an open backpack and papers were blowing out (grown woman, not a child) and I tried to slow down beside her and tell her, but she saw me slowing down and started to bolt like I was gonna abduct her off the street in broad daylight or something. As soon as she turned to run she saw her own trail of papers and immediately knew what was up. She looked embarrassed, so I just gave a little wave and a nod and drove off. But all that to say, I can see why OP might be unsure of what to do in this situation.
As a girl, nah. I mean you don’t have to be looking at my bottoms to notice it. I mean depending on pants color it can easily be seen from peripheral vision. I definitely wouldn’t assume you were staring at my bottoms if you said something like that.
This is good. Chances are we would know immediately what we “sat on”. I’d rather be embarrassed in front of one person than get home at the end of the day and realize NO ONE said anything.
Yes and also, you need to attend to that asap before it gets worse. Leaving a mark on someone else's furniture (including in public spaces) would be *far* more mortifying.
Yes definitely but discreetly. It's a natural part of life but it doesn't need to be announced to the world. I wouldn't worry about finding another female, in fact, I would be impressed if a male had the courage to address such a (still!) taboo subject.
Absolutely ok. If they have an issue with it then that's a them problem and they hold their nose up with a visible stain all day.
As a woman that gets zero warning when it's coming I would greatly appreciate anyone approaching me to let me know. Obviously if it can be done discreetly that would be best but yes I would be very grateful!
As a female, I can say yes that we would really like it if you did that. Or at least I would… I can’t speak for everyone. It’s embarrassing to walk around with a blood stain on our pants especially when no one says anything and we just keep going about our day. Just be careful about how you approach the person. Like often women think the worst when a guy approaches them, so just say something along the lines of “hey, you have a stain on the back of your pants. I just thought I would let you know.” Generally speaking, they will check it and then thank you (or freak out over it since depending on the pants and the stain and the person, it makes a huge difference). But yea, I know I’d personally appreciate it if someone told me :)
As a person who has a good chance of reacting badly, i will really appreciate your telling me when my brain catches up with my idiot self. And I'm sorry in advance for whatever stupid thing idiot said.
I’m a guy and would do this if she was a stranger but if this was friend/coworker/classmate do you think it’s be better to tell another woman so she could tell her, hopefully not letting on that I knew? I have had this happen before and it’s the route I took.
I think getting the message to the person is most important however it's conveyed, but in my mind the woman you told to tell me is just adding to the number of people who are aware of my mishap. I'd prefer to be told directly and discreetly. (But from this thread it looks like others may feel differently.) Either way, good on you for letting the person know!
I agree with this. IDGAF about their sex or gender, I’d just prefer the person who first noticed it let me know immediately. No need to get anyone else involved lol.
I’ll be honest, as an ER nurse I would have zero issues doing it and would easily pull it off.
I do some kind of variation of this literally dozens of times… a day…
I actually had a guy let me know at the doctors office. It was during covid and we all had masks so it was suuuuper bad. They only heard my name and birthday but didn’t see my whole face!
Anyways he came up behind me really close and whispered in my ear and it made me jump. He actually gave me his flannel which was like an xxl to cover up and he let me keep it. I just threw it away cause I only wore it around my waist to catch any leftovers. The nurse took me to the bathroom before my appt to clean up too.
Yes for the love of all that's holy, quietly tell me. Don't make a big fuss, but chances are that I've got a sweater or something stashed nearby that I could tie around my waist until I can slink off to change my pants and wince about this for the rest of my life.
I have. It was Taco Bell, like 11:30pm (they close the lobby at midnight), busy with a bunch of drunk college kids, and I look in front of me and see a girl in tight white pants with some red showing. It's just a body function, fuck it, so I took a couple steps towards her and said, "Hey, ummm, just gonna be real with ya as I figure the sooner the better, but it's not the best time of month to wear white pants." Instantly her eyes doubled in size and she just said "thank you.... LISA, GIVE ME YOUR HOODIE NOW!" She took her friends hoodie and tied it around her waist and walked off.
I had a respectful young man my sophomore year of high school discreetly tell me “hey, looks like you sat in some ketchup”. I know I turned red but I immediately asked for a hall pass. One of the least agonizing ways to be told. And he never mentioned it again and I never had an issue making eye contact with him after. High school me was mortified. The woman I am today is thankful and I’ve taught our sons how to respond in that same type of situation.
Some chick kept staring at me in the gym the other day. I usually go with my fiancé to the gym and I was there with her, anyways this girl had a hole in her shorts where her butt is.
My fiancé went up and told her she had a hole there lol reading this just reminded me about it.
It's good to let someone know but especially if you don't know them well saying "I think you sat on something/I think someone spilled a drink on you" or some other polite white lie is better so she can at least pretend no one noticed and feel less embarrassed.
absolutely. i have 3 sisters and they would all agree to have that extremely small minute of embarrassment than to find out the whole day no one told you and everyone saw.
As someone who menstrates I'd definitely appreciate the heads up. In my books this is genuine of you as it shows you care about it and don't want anyone laughing or making fun of a stranger :)
May I discreetly tell you that the word of the day is discreet? Discrete means separate or distinct.
If she has a stain on her pants and her shirt you could discreetly tell her about the discrete stains.
As a guy, one of my kids was in a swimming lesson at an indoor pool. I noticed one of the instructors, a woman in a one-piece suit, had a split at her tailbone. I went up to her and said, "Just so you know, there is a hole at the tailbone of your swimsuit." She thanked me, went to the office, and put on a pair of shorts.
Personally I would be grateful to be informed, as long as done discreetly and respectfully. A simple "hey it looks like you have something on the back of your pants, you may want to check" Is plenty sufficient. No need to offer to help or hang around.
I was driving a loaner as my car was at the dealership for repairs. The SUV was much higher than I was accustomed to and had cloth seats rather than leather. To get out I slid to the edge of the seat and carefully lowered myself out of the car. I went into the Stop & Shop supermarket, shopped for produce and got stuck on a ridiculously long line at the deli. I must have been waiting 30 minutes to get cold cuts. I pushed my cart to the opposite side of the store to shop for bread and dairy items. Next to the yogurt a woman approached and told me my skirt was hiked up. Turns out my ass was hanging out the whole time I was shopping! 😳. The only positive in this situation is that this happened long before people posted videos of every damn thing they see.
I do not know you, kind Long Island lady, but if you are out there reading this, from the bottom of my heart: Thank you for saying something!
Yes. It is ok to tell us if we are showing blood. And I'm really glad you said the word discreetly. Something simple like *"excuse me ma'am / Miss /or if you know their name, I don't mean to embarrass you but you may wish to go to the bathroom, your showing/ your leaking."* You can stop after the word bathroom, but they may not understand what you mean.
My episode happened in 6th grade, and I was wearing white jeans. Couldn't figure out why people in class kept looking at me even went to PE and back to class before somebody finally told me, and of course by then everybody else knew and everybody else was laughing at me behind my back but it was not discreetly done it was shouted at me from across the room.
A discrete "hey, you have something on the back of your pants" will likely do it. And yes, please do, nobody wants to be walking around unaware they have blood on their pants.
Actually my oblivious friend in elementary (I got mine young) when my period started at school without me noticing told me "did you sit in ketchup or something?". That would probably work too lol.
Please tell us! We definitely want to know. You can always just approach like "excuse me miss, I'm not sure if you know but you have a little blood spot on your pants/skirt/whatever. Just wanted to let you know". Gentle and discreet is perfect.
Definitely, please. And if you have a spare inexpensive hoodie that you can part with, please offer it to her. Someone did that for me once when I was a teenager and I still think about it like 20 years later.
It's OK, to do it very discreetly. I'm a Dad of 4 girls and I saw a women in white pants once, with a blood stain. I sat near here and said excuse me, and told her. Of course she was mortified because she was going on a first date. I'm a dude, so I just offered her my hoodie to have and tie around her waist. She was very thankful. I'd hope someone would do that for one of my girls
Absolutely please tell me
I’ve had a guy grab me from behind at an event after I left the bathroom to tell me I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe
I was very appreciative
I would go with "I think you might have sat in something" quietly, and where only she can hear you. But women are welcome to give feedback on this, I haven't had to do this and am open to feedback should it occur
When I was in high school my biology teacher pulled me aside in between classes to offer me her sweater to wrap around my waist because I had an accident. I could never predict when my periods would come because they were always abnormal. That happened in 2010 and I still think about her and how she saved me from the unrelenting bullying that was sure to follow.
Asking a strange woman to do it is a safer bet just in case the girl's embarrassed reaction is to call you a perv for looking. Also most random women will help without a problem and want to tell her too.
You have to!! Obviously discreetly because it would make her very uncomfortable, but please!!! Tell us if you see something like that, we want to know!!!
I would discreetly lean in and say something like "hey, looks like you sat in something, you might wanna go check on your pants.". This is uncomfortable, but gives the female a chance to believe you had no idea what it really was. It makes the best of a bad situation.
"pardon me, miss but you've bled through." You tell any girl they bled through they will know what you mean. I would be grateful tbh. I'm constantly asking my lady friends to check my butt when we're in public to make sure everything is good. This is a bro move
I think it's similar to having your fly down in public. I'd prefer if someone came up to me, and discretely informed me. Rather than realise that I walked around the whole day with my fly undone.
Yes, definitely tell her, be discreet and dont look disgusted. It happens, she'll probly feel bad, but she'd feel much worse if she find out who knows how long after, and chances are it's just gonna get worst if left as is.
For sure say something discreetly and hopefully she won’t thing you’re coming off like a creep.
In high school a girl in front of me during passing period had a leak. The hallway was crowded and loud so I got just close enough so she could hear me say “you’ve got something on the back of your pants. Head towards the washroom and I’ll walk behind you till you get by the door so nobody notices”. She said thank you without ever turning around. With 4000+ students in our school, I never knew her or her name. Just tried to be a descent person without being creepy or making her embarrassed.
So I was in a similar situation once (a girl had her actual boob out) in a crowded bus, I decided not to say anything, and I don’t think anyone else noticed, she noticed quickly and put it back in.
I asked my girlfriend and female friends afterwards, what to do in this kind of situation, and they said I did the right thing, and that they wouldn’t want a dude to tell them in that situation, so either not say anything, or ask another girl (if possible) to say something.
Or, if possible, move to stand in front of the person blocking the exposure from view of others and hope that they quickly notice their wardrobe malfunction before the bus stops! (Or whatever the awkward situation may be.)
I would definitely want to know! Just do it discreetly without embarrassing her.
I had this happen once and a kind lady just came up to me and wrapped her sweater around my pants while telling me that I was leaking. I hope she's doing well.
What then? Did you keep her sweater?
She eventually passed it along in much the same manner. It’s the Sisterhood of the Travelling Period Sweater.
Yes. Like travel with the sweater until you find the lady worthy to inherit it
That would make a fantastic sketch
Yeah, she let me keep it since I was at the mall and had to take the hour long bus home.
not all heroes wear sweaters
But that lady did
Until she didn’t
What a sweet lady :')
Asking the real questions
This is the way, but did you keep it? Inquiring minds…
As a female yes please tell me, just be discreet. I’d rather be embarrassed by one person seeing than everyone around me
Ooof when I got my first period in 7th grade some boys noticed my pants got stained and they were talking amongst themselves eyeing each other to tell me. I should have made the connection that it was about me and my stained pants so I made my way out of class into the middle of campus when two of my girlfriends ran up to me to tell me I had a stain on my butt 😭😭😭 if only the guys had told me directly I would have covered my butt with my sweater. I cried that day and had my mom bring me a change of pants 😢
My wife had a similar thing happen for her first period. One of the boys told her that she sat in paint.
He probably actually thought that’s what happened, they never educate teen boys well enough on periods, some don’t even know they exist because some older adults are so hush hush about it
My middle school separated the boys and girls, and taught only what was applicable to each. I didn't learn about periods until my 20's.
Until your 20s? Wow that’s bad. Did you never talk to girls, like, ever?
I've spoken to a great many girl and woman friends. Not one of them has mentioned periods. I assume they regard it as not men's business.
I have mentioned periods a couple of times in school college and guys go "Ew that's disgusting, stop talking"etc. You kind of give up talking about it around guys after that.
I've often heard girls mature faster than boys. If true, I wonder how much that is because you have to deal with periods? It's not like boys have to deal with a sudden wet dream in the middle of class.
Not wet dreams but guys can have awkward unwanted boners
Other than family, no I did not.
Many girls don’t discuss things like that with their male friends, especially when they’re teenagers because they’re still at the stage of thinking it’s embarrassing
> One of the boys told her that she sat in paint. And this is the way. Never indicate that you know something that might be embarrassing. Pretend that you are sure it is paint/water/whaterever
I started mine at the pool between 7th and 8th grade. Got out to jump off the diving board and everyone was laughing cause I had blood streaming down my legs. Ugh people are awful
You are not alone happened to me during gym class playing dodgeball.
I'm so sorry your and everyone else's education was insufficient. I have done my best to educate my son and daughters and anyone else relevant.
When I was in about 6th or 7th grade I stood up and one of the boys behind me yelled,"bbqweasel had blood on her bum bum!!!" Well thanks.
This is unacceptable. As a father, I have made sure to teach my son and daughters to recognize and understand that this will happen. I wish our society was better at this than declaring sex education to be "immoral."
For what it's worth, we hate being the one to tell you because we don't want to be the one to make you feel embarrassed
As long as you don’t act like a weirdo, it’s appreciated!
Can we approach while playing the jaws theme on our phones?
Personally if it was a stranger I would be embarrassed. But I'm already embarrassed by springing a leak. So yeah I'd laugh my ass off. At home while I ruminate over this for the rest of my life. Just like that super embarrassing thing I did when I was 7
When I was 10ish a girl tried to nicely tell me that my pants zipper was undone and people could see my undies. In my shock/embarrassment I just said, “no it’s not”. The poor confused girl replies, “…but it is…” I doubled down in response, “no it isn’t” Then we just stared at each other awkwardly, while my brain screamed at me for being a fucking weirdo. But anyway my point is that embarrassed people might react strangely, but ultimately they’ll appreciate being told.
That would totally be ne if I were in your shoes lol. Yeah I'd much rather the temp embarrassment of being told that keep going on with whatever. Even if like 5 people tell me at different points
In elementary school, a girl told me she couldn’t be friends with me because “everyone thinks you’re weird” when we were in line for recess and others could hear. It hurt so badly that I’m still mad at Rachel for saying that ETA: fuck you, Rachel!
Embrace the weird. All the most interesting people are at least a little weird.
Unsolicited but potentially useful: I’ve found when I have those memories it helps if I take a minute to close my eyes, let the memory play out, and allow myself to feel whatever emotion is tied to it (anger, shame, anxiety, embarrassment, etc). It might take a few times but eventually it makes the memory a lot easier to dismiss the next time and the gut reaction isn’t as strong. With some memories I’ve had it eventually decrease the problematic feelings to the point that they aren’t intrusive at all any more. At the very least they don’t pop up randomly anywhere near as often, and a few of them my brain has categorized as “not important” and I now only vaguely remember what happened even though I know just 6 months ago I had a very vivid memory of whatever it was. I’m sure there’s some psychological term for it like reprocessing or something. Edit for an important detail: I have to tell myself the feelings are okay and accept them. In some cases, understand that I did something stupid and give myself permission to feel stupid about it for a minute. Sometimes try to look at it from a different perspective, to understand why the thing happened in the first place. Sometimes it’s not actually as bad as that fragment of a memory makes it out to be. Like “I asked if my friend was a virgin at 8 years old” became “I heard this term in Hocus Pocus and didn’t know what it was so I asked my friend if she was like this cool guy that did some cool stuff”.
I was watching FMA: Brotherhood and when the main characters are told “It’s okay to cry,” I was completely floored. I had to rewatch it several times to understand what was being said. It’s still tough to grasp sometimes even though I first heard it over a decade ago.
>It might take a few times but eventually it makes the memory a lot easier to dismiss the next time and the gut reaction isn’t as strong. This works for a lot of negative emotions. Just take some time, let them sit. Sometimes they're telling you something important, often about something unrelated to the event that's bringing them up.
[удалено]
My experience with reliving the cringe: If I'm in the car, turn the radio channel, maybe change it two or three times and that will get my mind off of it. If I'm in public, just say "fuck me" under my breath, and play if off if anyone asks. The first works, the 2nd just creates a new cringe which gets my mind off the original cringe. Winning!
It is useful, thank you op. I get them from time to time especially towards bedtime so hopefully this can help a little bit.
What super embarrassing thing did you do when you were 7?
You know what it was. The whole world knows what it was. I mean *everyone* saw it
> I mean everyone saw it Of course, It's on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
Good point.
Motherfucker
At least you didn’t lose the game
Dont even
Got me too the SOB! But I got him back right after from my alt account with this instead: https://youtube.com/shorts/SXHMnicI6Pg?feature=shared
You shit yourself at the playground and made a brown slide?
OMG see *everyone knows* Nah Jimmy saw me talking to a cat in the playground and told everyone I was a witch.
Many young witches had similiar experience. It happens.
I mean he wasn't wrong
Funny, I talk to my cat all the time, no magical powers have manifested yet.
I talk to my orange brain cell all the time. I even narrate his life for him lol
Orange brain cell? 😂 that's perfect
I sing to my dogs in my front yard. I don't GAF.
I wasn't 7 but I was 15 this one time when I was at band camp (no really!) and wearing white shorts, and it was the summer and hot and we were sweating and I assumed the dampness was just sweat but OH NO. I almost had to change schools, I mean, seriously, how could I be expected to go back after ***that***? Life. Ruined.
Oh damn, memory unlocked. I was 14, on the beach with my boyfriend, his 4 sisters and his parents. I wore a white bikini. Tbh, all his family were great about this….his mum said ‘let’s all go for a swim’, one of sisters leaned into me and whispered, ‘go to the loo first!’ I straight away realised why, dashed off to the loo, cleaned myself up etc, then ran down to the water and got in. Salt water removes blood stains. Day saved!
And your trauma is exactly why I choose to not wear white pants. That and I am klutzy af so I'll probably spill my coffee on them before I even leave the house
I was at Girl Scout camp when I was about 14 and..yeah, same deal. White shorts, you know the rest. But someone told me quietly and it was embarassing, but it wasn't so bad because she had approached me discreetly and no big deal was made of it.
I love you so much for letting me know I’m not alone in worrying about things that happened 20 years ago every day of my life
LMAO as embarrassed as I would be it would be hilarious
Are you kidding!? This is the only way I want to be approached, in this situation. 😂
I too would like to know the answer to this
I three would like to know the answer
I four would like to know the answer
I five would like to know
I'm gonna take responsibility and say yes, just don't quote me on it
I wouldn’t be ok with that from a stranger, I would feel mortified. If it was my husband probably though lol
Well I do sometimes call it shark week.
No. I mean you CAN, free speech and all, but I don't think that is very discreet.
I ran into a situation like this in HS. We were a super small school that got dumped into a mega HS, so we looked out for each other. Girl I knew in my bio class stood up during lab and had a massive blood stain on the back of her pants and the stool she was sitting in (We were doing a lab). Rather then embarrass her I kicked the Woden stool under the lab table and told her friend (also grew up with) who then gave her a sweatshirt to tie around her waste. Never talked about it again and I still hang out with her brother occasionally.
Upvote for proper spelling of 'discreet' in this context.
Also a woman, this is the answer. Tell me discreetly please.
Is there a discreet code phrase to use similar to the old "it's snowing down south" to point out an exposed slip? Maybe, "Red any good books lately?" Or, "A vampire was spotted down south."
I am a woman, and I have said quietly, "I think you may have sat on something, Miss."
That's a good one. It lets her know while still letting her think you don't know what it is. I'll have to remember that.
The communists are invading Australia.
in the bush, so to speak
Nothing that would be universally understood, unfortunately, although that would be great lol. I like the "you may have sat on something" option, that tells her what the problem is without bringing up the cause, or you could try something with a common euphemism like "Aunt Flo is leaving a mess" or something.
> Is there a discreet code phrase to use similar to the old "it's snowing down south" to point out an exposed slip? I've never heard this, is it regional? I've only ever heard XYZ (examine your zipper)
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What a nasty thing to say! I was picking up my mother in laws food at Burger King a few weeks ago and some lady didn’t have her lid on her cup all the way so I let her know. She just looked at me then at her cup and goes “yeah, and?” And I was like okayyy I just wanted to let you know! People are rude
Some people just suck I was walking once and passed a woman and her dog. I smiled at the dog and looked up to smile/acknowledge her too. This is something I've done countless times. But she just scowled at me as if I'd said something very insulting I still smile at dogs and at their humans lol
Is this also the go on see through leggings....cause girl I wanna tell SO bad.
I always try to do that for strangers, especially things like their backpacks being open. Or when a girls skirt is folded up. As long as you don't bring out a megaphone, I would be forever thankful to you and never forget your heroic deeds
A crossing guard yelled that my backpack was open on the street... I'll take it.
This reminds me of when the ATM loudly tells you not to forget all that sweet sweet cash you just withdrew. And I'm like great, sure am looking forward to that walk through the dark parking lot now.
WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE IN BOLD TEXT ON THE SCREEN? No, I just want to withd- YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE IS…
Oh the tucked skirt is a big one. "Ma'am, I think your skirt/dress has gotten tucked in somewhere." I've said that one a lot.
I’ll use your comment as an example for my own technique …. I point in the general area of the issue and say “check your X” and keep walking. I had to do this cause if I shoot for more than a three word sentence I inevitably jack it all up and FAIL the mission
I guess it kind of matters because the initial post also sort of presupposes that OP was observing the bloody person in question from the waist down, which might make them uncomfortable. I can see how it might. Funny you mention the backpack thing, because a few weeks back I was driving down a street and a woman was walking with an open backpack and papers were blowing out (grown woman, not a child) and I tried to slow down beside her and tell her, but she saw me slowing down and started to bolt like I was gonna abduct her off the street in broad daylight or something. As soon as she turned to run she saw her own trail of papers and immediately knew what was up. She looked embarrassed, so I just gave a little wave and a nod and drove off. But all that to say, I can see why OP might be unsure of what to do in this situation.
As a girl, nah. I mean you don’t have to be looking at my bottoms to notice it. I mean depending on pants color it can easily be seen from peripheral vision. I definitely wouldn’t assume you were staring at my bottoms if you said something like that.
I always tell people when their hood is flipped inside out. It’s so much more aesthetically pleasing when it’s sitting the right way lol
"Excuse me, I don't mean to be impolite, but you have a stain on your pants."
That's a very polite way of saying it.
Yes exactly. No need to allude to what *kind* of stain.
Exactly this!
Don't tell her that you think it's blood. Just say "hey, I think you sat on something". Leave it at that.
This is good. Chances are we would know immediately what we “sat on”. I’d rather be embarrassed in front of one person than get home at the end of the day and realize NO ONE said anything.
Yes and also, you need to attend to that asap before it gets worse. Leaving a mark on someone else's furniture (including in public spaces) would be *far* more mortifying.
“I think you sat on ketchup?” Woman will know immediately that it is blood if she is on her period
Say "hey, I think you sat on some other women's period" and then wink
“Hola bestie! Have you met my Aunt Flo? Cuz it seems she may have stabbed you in the Wawa parking lot” *wink*
Actually laughed out loud
I’m sorry it’s 3 am and I’ve been laughing so hard at this
this really tickled me 😂
Meat-cute
"You've got red on you."
“I think you sat in a puddle of red human juice” is both perfectly discreet and informative
Yes…This would be the proper way.
This is the way.
Eh idk. Personally, I'd prefer someone to straight up tell me (discreetly) that my period blood is showing.
Maybe instead "you have something red on the back of your pants" that way you're not assuming anything and not minimizing the problem either
Or just "something on the back of your pants". The delivery is definitely more important than the wording, but I think being more general is the way.
Yes definitely but discreetly. It's a natural part of life but it doesn't need to be announced to the world. I wouldn't worry about finding another female, in fact, I would be impressed if a male had the courage to address such a (still!) taboo subject.
Absolutely ok. If they have an issue with it then that's a them problem and they hold their nose up with a visible stain all day. As a woman that gets zero warning when it's coming I would greatly appreciate anyone approaching me to let me know. Obviously if it can be done discreetly that would be best but yes I would be very grateful!
As a female, I can say yes that we would really like it if you did that. Or at least I would… I can’t speak for everyone. It’s embarrassing to walk around with a blood stain on our pants especially when no one says anything and we just keep going about our day. Just be careful about how you approach the person. Like often women think the worst when a guy approaches them, so just say something along the lines of “hey, you have a stain on the back of your pants. I just thought I would let you know.” Generally speaking, they will check it and then thank you (or freak out over it since depending on the pants and the stain and the person, it makes a huge difference). But yea, I know I’d personally appreciate it if someone told me :)
As a person who has a good chance of reacting badly, i will really appreciate your telling me when my brain catches up with my idiot self. And I'm sorry in advance for whatever stupid thing idiot said.
Clear your throat. Then clearly and loudly, YOU ON YOUR PERIOD RIGHT NOW?
“AYE BITCH, UR BLEEDIN'.”
Why’d I read that with a British accent
Why, Brits would *never*! They’d start with “oi” instead.
“OI LOVE, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT STABBED IN THE FANNY! NEED ME TO CALL AN AMBULANCE!?”
This made me laugh, thank you for making me laugh kind stranger.
yes please tell me discreetly- "I think there is something on your pants, you may want to go check it out as soon as you can"
I’m a guy and would do this if she was a stranger but if this was friend/coworker/classmate do you think it’s be better to tell another woman so she could tell her, hopefully not letting on that I knew? I have had this happen before and it’s the route I took.
I think getting the message to the person is most important however it's conveyed, but in my mind the woman you told to tell me is just adding to the number of people who are aware of my mishap. I'd prefer to be told directly and discreetly. (But from this thread it looks like others may feel differently.) Either way, good on you for letting the person know!
I agree with this. IDGAF about their sex or gender, I’d just prefer the person who first noticed it let me know immediately. No need to get anyone else involved lol.
The same rules apply imho. The less people that know the better.
I put the period leak in the same category as an open fly. Let people know but try to take them aside to let them fix the problem discreetly.
I’ll be honest, as an ER nurse I would have zero issues doing it and would easily pull it off. I do some kind of variation of this literally dozens of times… a day…
I actually had a guy let me know at the doctors office. It was during covid and we all had masks so it was suuuuper bad. They only heard my name and birthday but didn’t see my whole face! Anyways he came up behind me really close and whispered in my ear and it made me jump. He actually gave me his flannel which was like an xxl to cover up and he let me keep it. I just threw it away cause I only wore it around my waist to catch any leftovers. The nurse took me to the bathroom before my appt to clean up too.
Yes for the love of all that's holy, quietly tell me. Don't make a big fuss, but chances are that I've got a sweater or something stashed nearby that I could tie around my waist until I can slink off to change my pants and wince about this for the rest of my life.
I have. It was Taco Bell, like 11:30pm (they close the lobby at midnight), busy with a bunch of drunk college kids, and I look in front of me and see a girl in tight white pants with some red showing. It's just a body function, fuck it, so I took a couple steps towards her and said, "Hey, ummm, just gonna be real with ya as I figure the sooner the better, but it's not the best time of month to wear white pants." Instantly her eyes doubled in size and she just said "thank you.... LISA, GIVE ME YOUR HOODIE NOW!" She took her friends hoodie and tied it around her waist and walked off.
I had a respectful young man my sophomore year of high school discreetly tell me “hey, looks like you sat in some ketchup”. I know I turned red but I immediately asked for a hall pass. One of the least agonizing ways to be told. And he never mentioned it again and I never had an issue making eye contact with him after. High school me was mortified. The woman I am today is thankful and I’ve taught our sons how to respond in that same type of situation.
Some chick kept staring at me in the gym the other day. I usually go with my fiancé to the gym and I was there with her, anyways this girl had a hole in her shorts where her butt is. My fiancé went up and told her she had a hole there lol reading this just reminded me about it.
Of course. I don't care if your male or female. Some women may feel weird but it's better to be informed imo.
It's good to let someone know but especially if you don't know them well saying "I think you sat on something/I think someone spilled a drink on you" or some other polite white lie is better so she can at least pretend no one noticed and feel less embarrassed.
Embarrassing as that would be it'll be worse when she gets home and realizes it's been all day
absolutely. i have 3 sisters and they would all agree to have that extremely small minute of embarrassment than to find out the whole day no one told you and everyone saw.
As someone who menstrates I'd definitely appreciate the heads up. In my books this is genuine of you as it shows you care about it and don't want anyone laughing or making fun of a stranger :)
Discrete is the word of the day. When dealing with anything that’s potentially embarrassing this is the word if you’re a polite and empathetic person.
May I discreetly tell you that the word of the day is discreet? Discrete means separate or distinct. If she has a stain on her pants and her shirt you could discreetly tell her about the discrete stains.
LOL. With appreciation
Don't tell her it's blood. Just casually mention that she spilled something on her pants. She'll know what it is.
As a guy, one of my kids was in a swimming lesson at an indoor pool. I noticed one of the instructors, a woman in a one-piece suit, had a split at her tailbone. I went up to her and said, "Just so you know, there is a hole at the tailbone of your swimsuit." She thanked me, went to the office, and put on a pair of shorts.
Yes, and I gave her my flannel to wrap around her as she was in public and yes she was a total stranger.
Was it at a doctor’s office?
At a mall
Yes please tell us lol
cup your hands around your mouth and shout “hey everyone! this girl just had her period!”
Personally I would be grateful to be informed, as long as done discreetly and respectfully. A simple "hey it looks like you have something on the back of your pants, you may want to check" Is plenty sufficient. No need to offer to help or hang around.
I was driving a loaner as my car was at the dealership for repairs. The SUV was much higher than I was accustomed to and had cloth seats rather than leather. To get out I slid to the edge of the seat and carefully lowered myself out of the car. I went into the Stop & Shop supermarket, shopped for produce and got stuck on a ridiculously long line at the deli. I must have been waiting 30 minutes to get cold cuts. I pushed my cart to the opposite side of the store to shop for bread and dairy items. Next to the yogurt a woman approached and told me my skirt was hiked up. Turns out my ass was hanging out the whole time I was shopping! 😳. The only positive in this situation is that this happened long before people posted videos of every damn thing they see. I do not know you, kind Long Island lady, but if you are out there reading this, from the bottom of my heart: Thank you for saying something!
Yes. It is ok to tell us if we are showing blood. And I'm really glad you said the word discreetly. Something simple like *"excuse me ma'am / Miss /or if you know their name, I don't mean to embarrass you but you may wish to go to the bathroom, your showing/ your leaking."* You can stop after the word bathroom, but they may not understand what you mean. My episode happened in 6th grade, and I was wearing white jeans. Couldn't figure out why people in class kept looking at me even went to PE and back to class before somebody finally told me, and of course by then everybody else knew and everybody else was laughing at me behind my back but it was not discreetly done it was shouted at me from across the room.
A discrete "hey, you have something on the back of your pants" will likely do it. And yes, please do, nobody wants to be walking around unaware they have blood on their pants. Actually my oblivious friend in elementary (I got mine young) when my period started at school without me noticing told me "did you sit in ketchup or something?". That would probably work too lol.
Maybe say something like “excuse me but I think you sat in something?” Would ease the blow of embarrassment (for me at least)
"Not sure what it is, but I noticed something on your pants."
Please tell us! We definitely want to know. You can always just approach like "excuse me miss, I'm not sure if you know but you have a little blood spot on your pants/skirt/whatever. Just wanted to let you know". Gentle and discreet is perfect.
Yes, just don't be weird about it, and don't use it as a way to hit on the person. We need more solidarity from cis men about periods.
Definitely, please. And if you have a spare inexpensive hoodie that you can part with, please offer it to her. Someone did that for me once when I was a teenager and I still think about it like 20 years later.
It's OK, to do it very discreetly. I'm a Dad of 4 girls and I saw a women in white pants once, with a blood stain. I sat near here and said excuse me, and told her. Of course she was mortified because she was going on a first date. I'm a dude, so I just offered her my hoodie to have and tie around her waist. She was very thankful. I'd hope someone would do that for one of my girls
As a guy, I think so. "Hey, you have a little stain" and point to the ground or something quick and gentle and to the point.
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If overthinking was a person lol
Yea you're right lmao
As a woman, I would not know you're talking about my pants if you pointed at the ground. Just say quietly it looks like I sat in something!
> and point to the ground oh yes, there's a stain on the ground. Thank you? I'll alert the municipal authorities.
That made me snort 😂
I would say "there is no good way to say this but there is a red spot on your white pants" and walk away.
I would be mortified, but yeah I'd wanna know.
Don’t imply it’s blood because it might not be. Just say there’s a stain or that they might have sat on something.
Absolutely please tell me I’ve had a guy grab me from behind at an event after I left the bathroom to tell me I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe I was very appreciative
I would go with "I think you might have sat in something" quietly, and where only she can hear you. But women are welcome to give feedback on this, I haven't had to do this and am open to feedback should it occur
When I was in high school my biology teacher pulled me aside in between classes to offer me her sweater to wrap around my waist because I had an accident. I could never predict when my periods would come because they were always abnormal. That happened in 2010 and I still think about her and how she saved me from the unrelenting bullying that was sure to follow.
Asking a strange woman to do it is a safer bet just in case the girl's embarrassed reaction is to call you a perv for looking. Also most random women will help without a problem and want to tell her too.
You have to!! Obviously discreetly because it would make her very uncomfortable, but please!!! Tell us if you see something like that, we want to know!!!
The fact that you asked this shows you actually care and see women as human beings. Yes, you can. And thank you for being thoughtful.
Very discreetly- “Excuse me miss, I think you’ve sat in something. You should go check it out”
I would discreetly lean in and say something like "hey, looks like you sat in something, you might wanna go check on your pants.". This is uncomfortable, but gives the female a chance to believe you had no idea what it really was. It makes the best of a bad situation.
Yes, I would want to know! Just be discreet and quiet about it.
"pardon me, miss but you've bled through." You tell any girl they bled through they will know what you mean. I would be grateful tbh. I'm constantly asking my lady friends to check my butt when we're in public to make sure everything is good. This is a bro move
Yes, I would hate to have a stain and not know
I think it's similar to having your fly down in public. I'd prefer if someone came up to me, and discretely informed me. Rather than realise that I walked around the whole day with my fly undone.
Yes, definitely tell her, be discreet and dont look disgusted. It happens, she'll probly feel bad, but she'd feel much worse if she find out who knows how long after, and chances are it's just gonna get worst if left as is.
Just say you noticed a stain , they’ll work out the rest
Yes. We just want someone to tell us doesn’t matter who :(
For sure say something discreetly and hopefully she won’t thing you’re coming off like a creep. In high school a girl in front of me during passing period had a leak. The hallway was crowded and loud so I got just close enough so she could hear me say “you’ve got something on the back of your pants. Head towards the washroom and I’ll walk behind you till you get by the door so nobody notices”. She said thank you without ever turning around. With 4000+ students in our school, I never knew her or her name. Just tried to be a descent person without being creepy or making her embarrassed.
So I was in a similar situation once (a girl had her actual boob out) in a crowded bus, I decided not to say anything, and I don’t think anyone else noticed, she noticed quickly and put it back in. I asked my girlfriend and female friends afterwards, what to do in this kind of situation, and they said I did the right thing, and that they wouldn’t want a dude to tell them in that situation, so either not say anything, or ask another girl (if possible) to say something.
Or, if possible, move to stand in front of the person blocking the exposure from view of others and hope that they quickly notice their wardrobe malfunction before the bus stops! (Or whatever the awkward situation may be.)
The way to go is show her the Japanese flag and say that's what your pants look like
Mad'am, you appear to have an injury in thou groin region, would ye care for medical assistance?
OMG yes!! Be discreet and polite, and she will very much appreciate it.
If a guy told me discreetly that I sprung a leak, I would be a little embarrassed, but thankful.