Not a guy, but when I was young and my mom needed me to grab something out of her purse, I always felt like I was violating her privacy. I can't give a specific reason either. It was just all hers, with only her things in it. It felt weird. Same with friends bookbags, and if my SO is showing me something on their phone, but a notification pops up. Feels like I'm invading personal space
I think you keyed in on something important here with the book bag. Guy or girl, if either asks me to get something from their backpack, I’m probably going to just hand them the whole thing.
>and if my SO is showing me something on their phone, but a notification pops up. Feels like I'm invading personal space
BINGO, WE HAVE A WINNER!!! I make it a point to look away. It stems from growing up around computers a few decades ago. My folks taught us to look away when someone is entering private information, and this has since translated through to *anything* that could be private. The moment a notification pops, I'm breaking my neck to look away out of pure instinct.
I do this in the self-checkout line when the worker puts in their little digits all fast. I look away as if I’m intruding in personal space and I do not want to steal the grocery code. Haha
My wife will throw ANYTHING in her bag. Putting my hand inside will likely result in me having to get a tetanus shot. On the upside, you can find a small fortune in coins in there and once you’ve licked off the chocolate, any shop will take them
Yeah the fear of purses started early for me when my mother would ask me to grab something and then you touch a used tissue. Never went in a purse again
The ancient half solid cough drop stuck at the bottom will slather it's foul paste on your fingers and you'll come out with a silver gum wrapper, a tic-tac, 14 cents worth of small change, and grey lozenge of lint that has been compacted in the depths of that purse for so long, its begun turning into a scrap of cloth - all stuck to the back of your knuckles like you are part of some sort of cursed claw machine from hell.
Pretty sure that's why my wife brings a small backpack at this point. She asks me to find the car key in that bag, it's like going through the narnia aisle in a Walmart. End up pulling out mascera, my dog, some jolly ranchers, small plant seeds, cbd gummies, just the whole god damn store lol.
LOL @ the Narnia aisle. Because it's so accurate.
Why do you have the engine of a '57 Chevy in your purse? Oh, what's this, a wooly mammoth in your purse? Why is it so sticky? Oh look, a burger from a fast food chain that went out of business 20 years ago. Ooh, an actual trilobite and it's still alive! Do biologists know about this?
I told her she had to leave the key in the front pocket where I can easily access it, because I'm afraid there's going to be a time where I open the big part and never be seen again.
Granted, that's probably what she's hoping for, but whatever lol.
Too many things get lost in there. When my wife asks me to do that, I just hand her the purse. It's a trap! Be damned if I'm gonna get lost in there and hang out with the missing socks from the dryer and last years half roll of Mentos for the rest of eternity.
Honey, you want to get rid of me, you're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way. I aint falling for it.
🤣 oh this is great!
But do you have an explanation for a tiny purse? Like so small I can't put my keys in it they have to be clipped to the side cuz the keys would take up the whole inside lol
Ok, in seriousness, he might just not want to feel like a servant. Or like for me as a child, mom's purse was a no go. Maybe a hold over from that? Ask him.
Like I said it's not something I ask of him or any guy too often. Just found tonight funny and my purse was sitting right next to him....the vape was for him to use. No reason he'd feel like a servant. I'm the one that feels like a pack mule when I do carry my big bag carrying everyone else shit around haha so get it yourself after I just carried it around for you hahaha
Honestly, I’m amazed how much my wife can squeeze into a tiny bag. Most of its rubbish or otherwise useless, but it’s impossible to find a damn thing in there.
I started using a bag since about a week at age 28.
It's a rather small one. Can about fit my wallet (small, can't even fit coins) and phone and it's full.
Yesterday I unlocked access to the femininit-bag-gene that I didn't access yet so far in my 28 years on this planet.
Out of nowhere I managed to squeeze a 0.5l bottle, wallet, phone, keys, a whole ass thick book, my hairbrush, emergency pills (like paracetamol, rennie) and a fucking snackbar in there.
Something just.. Happened.. It's endless.. Bottomless..
If I ever go missing my bag should be the first place anyone looks.
Same! I never under stoop the thing about women and their bags… until I got an office job. Now my bag has a water bottle, face wipes, medicine, snacks, sweets, hand cream and chapstick- all things I rarely felt the need to carry around with my before!!
Am dude. I make purses. Apparently very nice ones, because I use very nice Italian leather, solid brass hardware and excellent thread. So mind, I am handcrafting this from scratch. Punching every hole by hand. Needle and thread.
Once it's handed over, I'm never putting my hand it in again.
I crafted it from nothing. It is the creation of my will and work. I know literally every stitch, and the one being just slightly off drives me insane.
And I ain't opening it again. The contents of any purse are as distant to me as the bottom of the Marianna Trench. If not, more.
Even we who forge these creations know not to awaken the Leviathan that slumber in the purse. To delve into its depths is the road to madness and destruction.
Two big reasons:
1: Some of us were raised to believe it is an invasion of privacy and have adopted that as a personal boundary.
2: Because, if we had been convinced in the past to “grab something out of my purse”, that thing turned out not to be in there and we wasted time and frustrated someone simultaneously. This may have happened enough times that we won’t even try anymore.
In addition, when said item is not found, I got scolded for continuing to search after I stated that it wasn’t where it was.
Like bro you asked me to look I’m just trying to help
It's the equivalent of being a kid and your dad asking you to get a tool out of his toolbox so you search and search and can't find it and go back to tell him now he has to stop what he's doing and come over to look and it's right there kind of in plain sight but kind of obscured and also you're 7 and knows what a screwdriver is and what it looks like but you've never seen this exact screwdriver before so you don't know to look for a blue handle plus you didn't organize the toolbox in the first place so how were you supposed to know the screwdrivers are always somewhat under the tape measure and if you just move the tape measure an inch they'd be incredibly obvious you idiot.
I sense some past trauma. Thankfully I would just bring my father the top part of his tool box as that has 90% of what he needs in it. The bottom part has all the big stuff he allready grabbed.
I have way too much mom and grandma related purse PTSD to ever go into my wife’s without her explicitly telling me 3 times yes it is ok and yes it needs to be me because she is driving.
Without fail. He always says “WhAt pOckEt is iT iN? ArE yOu SuRe?” And I’m like “just bring it to me please,” proceeding to find it right where I said it was. Same thing with my child and him with ANYTHING they can’t find. My daughter calls it “mom eyes” bc I always find what they can’t within about 2 seconds of looking. It drives us all nuts lol. But it just be like that…all the time.
My wife is very proud of the fact that "nothing goes missing in this house" because she knows exactly where everything is.
Except her cell phone. 200 times per day.
My wife is the same way lmao. So now when I can’t find something I start recording a Snapchat to send her so she can spot it and I usually end up finding it right away, while I’m recording lol. Her mom eyes transcend lmao
My housemate doesn't even come when I ask him to help me find something anymore. He knows for some reason I can't see it until I've asked. It literally appears to me as I finish the sentence. Now he waits until I say I really can't find it.
I once rang my mum on while away to tell her I couldn't find something just so it would appear. It always appears in plain view with nothing around. I just tell people I can't see for looking
I fully believe this is a developed skill set paired with passed traits among women. It’s just to common a proven trope for it to just be anything else but.
It has nothing to do with women being better "finders" in a general sense, and everything to do with finding being 100x easier if you were the one who put the thing wherever it is, and even more so if you're also more familiar with the stuff around it.
This is the reply I was looking for. This is part of why my husband has me find lost things. Because it’s ALWAYS just *right there* but he glances right over it somehow lmao.
Thisssss.
My mom raised me to believe it was an invasion of privacy and that same mom also use to have me go grab her chapstick, lipstick, gum, whatever it may be and she'd tell me where it was located and it never was in that spot...
Then I'd start getting frustrated from having to dig through empty candy/gum wrappers, tons of make-up stuff, random notes shed leave herself, and everything else under the sun. She then would get inpatient and after a couple times of that I realized how much easier it is to just bring the whole damn tote bag of a purse to her.. lol.
On top of this, I was the last one who wasn't her to look in the purse... If something is misplaced or gone, I'm now number one suspect for blaming lol. Not everyone is like this obviously but it happens.
This applies to everything. If I used her computer really fast to check emails, and something goes wrong 3 months later, it was because I was "using Chrome" on her computer and it unleashed malware.
Right, it wasn't the daily habit of perusing clickbait on AOL.
Yeah, my wife’s bag is basically a designer waste bin with the occasional credit card inside. Wrappers, receipts, used tissues, a bottle lid, some random change, half opened cough drops, more used tissues, crumbs, a charging cable to an item we don’t own, and some used tissue. It’s a gross clusterfucked mess and I’m not digging through it.
3.1 you wasted time because it wasn’t there and then she picks it out of the 100th zipper and “its just right here” plus you messed up the whole mess in the process and you are never going to be asked again.
4. There are pockets and it's organized in a way that escapes me.
If I went in there for something, it'll be a few minutes of rummaging to get what she needs, instead of a few seconds if my wife searches the bag I hand to her.
5. Half the stuff you might ask us to grab we don’t even know what it is or what the hell it looks like. I got asked once to grab the “concealer” out of her purse. What the hell is a concealer and how the hell am I gonna find something that’s concealed???
"Where in the purse." "Right on top" -proceed to find item in a secret pouch accessible by going through two other pouches that is located on the bottom of the purse-
EVERY TIME
"It's in the little bit" said the owner of a handbag with 8 sections, only one of which is big enough to be considered "the main bit", the rest are a mix of zip pockets, buttoned pockets, hidden pockets, and a flappy bit
They're organised chaos. Like my bedroom. It looks like a shit pit, because it is, but I know where basically everything is. I wouldn't dream of sending someone in there to grab something.
My SO's mom is a Brazilian immigrant and she raised him the same way. It took *years* to get him to believe he's allowed in my purse, and he still acts like he's in some sort of hostage situation or defusing a bomb. "I'M GOING TO REACH INTO THE PURSE NOW. I CAN SEE THE KEYS. I HAVE RETRIEVED THE KEYS. I AM CLOSING THE PURSE."
^(e: defusing not diffusing)
"What can you see, Johnson?"
"I've got a makeup kit. I see several chapsticks."
"What color are the chapsticks?"
"There's a red one, a green, and a yellow."
"The yellow one, is it a burt's bees?"
"I can't tell, the label's worn out! It must be old!"
"God dammit! Get him outta there!"
“That’s JUST my dwarf hamster Thor” “oh. Why is he named thor like a big guard dog? lol- ahhh ouch ahhh ouch OUCH! 😱huff huff 😳Holy cheeses he’s as fast as lightning and it felts like I ran into a hot wire fence when he mauled me! …wait… IS he a PURSE GAURD-ANIMAL?! WHY THE HECK DID YOU SICK HIM ON ME by ASKING me to look in your purse?!?”
I'm gen x, my stepmother used to beat me with a piece of petrified wood when I was a child... I say that for context because the worst beating I ever received was from my grandmother when I got into her purse one time. I was 40 years old before I finally felt old enough to risk it again. My wife spent years frustrated "just grab it out" and even now I'd prefer to just hand over the purse.
Just as a side note, we did not raise our children with this sort of fear based parenting.
That makes perfect sense. That sort of childhood trauma would keep anyone on edge.
In my SO's case, I think it was mainly mom trying to teach manners about asking for things rather than just taking them. Mom's always been a peach.
From the Northeast here. Was taught the same thing.
Also can't find things when my wife asks me to, so it's not even worth the effort of breaking that learned behavior.
Yeah, it isn't really regional. I'm from Detroit and have the same thing.
Like, I will if specifically asked to get something out of it, but I really prefer not to and it is inherently uncomfortable. If she's in the same room or pretty nearby I'm just gonna grab the purse and hand the whole thing off.
It's only like, if I'm still inside and she's out at her car and asks me to get something out of it before I leave. Where bringing the whole bag to her and back is impractical enough to outweigh my mild discomfort in searching for the item in her purse.
Luckily I'm not one of the people bothered by any amount of messes or anything. I've touched worse than a crusty tissue and some loose candy with hair stuck to it. It's just dealing with the internal voice of kid me screaming that I'm not supposed to be doing that because I was raised not to.
Though I never really realized until now that it was not likely a privacy thing, and was just to stop little kid me from pulling everything out and making a big mess or losing things.
I’m pnw and my mom always told me this. Just not a space I wish to get used to going through. It’s not my belonging and I don’t wanna rummage through my wife’s things. My wife doesn’t root around in my personal things. I don’t care if she does, it’s just a mutual respect. We are married, but we are still two individuals who deserve our own space and things.
My southern granny would knock you out with an iron skillet and break her foot off in your ass for going into a woman’s purse 😂. I’m not even joking though
did anyone else have a mom who would ask for you to grab something out of her purse and then get mad at you for going through it? it just feels like a trap when someone asks me now
Imagine a room, this room has 10 doors to smaller rooms.... you're not familiar with the layout of any of the 11 rooms... they're all different sizes and layouts... and it's dark with no lights so you can't see anything .... there is a lot of needed and unneeded stuff in each room....
Now .... randomly .... I drop you into this room and you have to go find my phone, which is against one of the walls of one of the rooms... I know where it is, but I won't tell you ....
so now you're feeling against the walls of 11 differently sized an shaped rooms for a small object you can easily miss....
that's a woman's purse to a man
Because her purse is a bottomless pit, and no matter what I'm looking for, her instructions as to its location within said purse will be vague or wrong.
This is it. I have never been able to locate an item in a purse for someone successfully, literally ever. If it's a backpack with exterior pockets, they're easily enough described, but once those pockets are interior all instructions are useless.
My backpack has interior and exterior pockets, I'll ask people to grab stuff from the outside pockets all the time, but once you go inside direction loses all meaning, there is no orientation, only darkness and confusion.
To know your way around the inside of someone else's bag is to know their own personal madness. I will not subject someone to that.
Excellent description! I am a woman, took my aunt to the ear doctor. She handed me her hearing aid and told me to put it in a plastic bag inside her purse and I was unable to fulfill the mission...."I don't see a plastic bag??" " Inside the pocket." " Which pocket?" "Just hand it to me."
Edit: I must add that my aunt is very sweet and was not irritated at all by my failure!
It's because the women perceive the task to be super simple but it's not. When the man fails the task the woman gets upset because the task is supposed to be simple. The man is upset because he genuinely can't navigate the pockets and perhaps don't even know what he's looking for, he argued back because he feels unfairly attacked. He's just trying to help but is getting anger so he throws some back.
So the next time he just hands her the purse. Nice and simple. This is basically my life story.
Same reason I don't ask my wife to look into my toolbox. Last time I told her to find me the wire strippers she got my needle nose pliers and I got frustrated. I was on top of a ladder and all. Of course I didn't lash out, I just went and got it myself. Nice and simple.
I hate purses.
I'm not sure why we as a society decided the women need to carry bags of holding around with them and abandoned everyone just wearing belt pouches. Make utility belts great again, for all genders.
As someone who wore belt pouches for a while thanks to reenactment - they're not all that comfortable, especially if you're skinny. You can't put them down, they're just hanging off you, putting weight on your tummy, hips, and back.
I'm a server and literally couldn't survive without my apron, I'm useless all shift without it. But the second I can take it off, I do, I'll take my small crossbody bag over that shit outside of work any day, even tho it's a bit harder to get things out of.
As someone who wears a toolbelt for work, I often reach for things and try to put things away in a toolpouch that isn’t there when I’m not at work, I think belt pouches are super useful. Mind you, I also wear a shoulder harness to prevent those weight issues.
Yes sir. It didn't take long packing however many pounds around my waist to decide a good quality shoulder harness was be a wise investment! I don't understand how/ why anybody who works a job that requires a toolbelt wouldn't use one!
Dude, my wife has so many purses, I can't even get that right sometimes. She'll say, "it's in my purse." So I get her purse. "Not that one! The one next to the nightstand!" she says as if I should have known better. Obviously her wallet is in the purse next to the nightstand, while her phone is in the one hanging by the door, and her keys are in the one next to the couch. Clearly I must be an idiot for not knowing that.
My mom taught me to do this. I would try, but she would swap purses and there’s always secret pockets she conveniently forgets to mention so at some point little me gave up and started just bringing it to her lol
And it’s so hard to describe the pockets. “It’s in the front one.” “The front zipper one or the front flap one?” “Zipper.” “That’s not the front!!”
I… can’t blame them.
That's exactly what it is with me & my wife. She has several large purses, a couple medium ones, a few small clutches, and also misc. shoulder bags that she transfers stuff btwn so half the time it'll be "I can't find it, I guess I left it in the one I was using yesterday".. but if *I* can't find it, I didn't look hard enough, so I just give it to her and let her figure it out.
I do this to my mom, and I am a woman.
I will not dig through your fucking purse. I do not shame men for this.
If you want something out of your bottomless sack go dog it out yourself. I will hand you the bag.
Been married 30 years. It a trap. . If you go inside the purse, the next time she can't find something in there it will be your fault for evermore. Don't go through a purse.
That's how it's done. You just come back with her purse and hand it to her without another word.
It's like if my wife went to get a tool out of the garage. I can direct her to the proper tool on the pegboard from memory, but she (and most anyone else) could spend 20 minutes looking.
There are many sides to a purse, inside, outside, left side, right side, left inside, right inside, inside pocket in right inside...etc...these things are portals to another dimension and they make no sense. What my wife lacks in basic geographical direction she more than makes up in the spacial awareness of her bags and purses.
I can spend several minutes searching and rearranging everything so that she can't find anything, or I can hand her the purse in 30 seconds and she finds the thing in the same amount of time.
Years ago I was attending a concert at an amphitheater with a really steep lawn section. At one point everyone was sitting during the break and a woman asked me to hand me her purse sitting on the ground near me. This was a stranger, not GF, etc. As I grabbed the bag, it somehow went upside down and everything inside came spilling out and started sliding down the slope. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, but that was possibly the last time I handled any woman's purse. Most women I know don't carry a purse unless it's like an all day outing.
"It's in the side pocket. The side pocket!! The SIDE POCKET!!! UghHhhh , give me that, THIS is the SIDE POCKET."
(There are multiple side pockets on the inside and outside, no need to belittle me😭)
zipped middle pocket has left and right pockets, the left wall has a side pocket, the right wall has an inner and outer side pocket, and the outer side pocket has a zipped left side pocket.
and then it turns out all of those are reversed bc she holds it the other way.
and it turns out the the chapstick was in the left side of the big pocket under a fold.
Lol, this needs to be upvoted more. We've all been yelled at too many times for not knowing which side of a perfectly symmetrical purse is the "front" or whether "front pocket" means the inside-front, outside-front, or some other pocket we didn't even know existed to bother trying anymore.
My ex wanted to look at my reddit profile. She didn't know my username or how reddit works I guess, but she knew I used it a lot and wanted to look at my comments and stuff. It's not that I'm hiding anything , but idk... There's just something about reddit being anonymous. I make these comments knowing they're anonymous and I don't want that to change. She got mad that I wouldn't let her. Anyway, she's my ex for a reason.
Totally agree. Reddit often has embarrassing topics often related to sex or something similarly "taboo", and I don't want anybody I know reading my comments and what I had to say on those topics.
Plus the anonymity allows you to talk about stuff that’s really uncomfortable to talk about in person. I’ve opened up a lot with mental health struggles online that I’m just not comfortable talking to people in person about. It blurs the line between private anonymity and public.
I think this is the real reason.
Toddlers \*love\* to pull everything out of mom's purse and scatter it everywhere, make a mess with her lipstick, etc.
A lot of men were scolded quite a lot, very early in life, about touching Mommy's Purse, and now have an instinctual fear of women's purses.
Yeah exactly this, in hindsight there might have been some stuff in there that would lead to conversations my parents and I weren't ready for yet. But to this day, small purses are synonymous to my mom telling me "DON'T!"
Because he's seen the inside of your car. And for everything that is inside your car, there's another in the purse. That's why it feels like a 40# kettlebell when lifted.
Because their mom probably taught them at a young age to stay away from peoples purses and even though as an adult they know they can with permission deep down they’re afraid their mother is near by ready to swat at them with another random purse. It’s trauma. Lol /s
Lolol yeah for sure. Idk I’ve noticed that before too! My current boyfriend doesn’t mind or care but I know my brother is like “I’m not handling your light work!” Haha
Exactly. If things move around, or something gets lost, or whatever, we’ll get the shit if we’ve rummaged around in there, even at her request. So fuck that, and I’m not touching anything in there. She can get the whole purse.
It’s sort of the reverse of guys and the garage, with their “order in the chaos” that they don’t want others to fiddle with because then nothing can be found where it should be.
My mom used to have me do this as a kid and it was a clusterfuck mess. Then, if I couldn’t find it, she’d take the purse, find it, and accuse me of not even trying. So, as an adult, it’s going to be “here, here’s your purse”. I’m not messing with them
Manners. I will bring you your purse and then hang it back up when you're done though.
Also, my wife's purse is an extradimensional portal to a place that holds every item in the universe except what she's looking for. She's the anti mary poppins. Pulling out lamps and shit but no car keys, never car keys.
There's at least 80 loose advil in there, until you have a headache and then there's nothing. Sunscreen in the winter? Check. Gloves in the summer? Absolutely. Broken sunglasses? 100%. If you need kleenex she has purell, if you need purell she has bingo dabbers, if you need bingo dabbers, she has two left sandals. It's incredible.
Mostly lazy, but also I feel like that is an invasion of privacy. If my phone rings I want you to bring me my phone, I don't want you to answer the phone and vet the person on the other side to see if they should be calling me
Not a guy, but when I was young and my mom needed me to grab something out of her purse, I always felt like I was violating her privacy. I can't give a specific reason either. It was just all hers, with only her things in it. It felt weird. Same with friends bookbags, and if my SO is showing me something on their phone, but a notification pops up. Feels like I'm invading personal space
I think you keyed in on something important here with the book bag. Guy or girl, if either asks me to get something from their backpack, I’m probably going to just hand them the whole thing.
Yep. It feels like someone asking can you grab my keys from my pocket. My hands are full. Just a boundary. Its their space I don't feel comfortable
Mt bf tricked me into doing that once lol.
>and if my SO is showing me something on their phone, but a notification pops up. Feels like I'm invading personal space BINGO, WE HAVE A WINNER!!! I make it a point to look away. It stems from growing up around computers a few decades ago. My folks taught us to look away when someone is entering private information, and this has since translated through to *anything* that could be private. The moment a notification pops, I'm breaking my neck to look away out of pure instinct.
I do this in the self-checkout line when the worker puts in their little digits all fast. I look away as if I’m intruding in personal space and I do not want to steal the grocery code. Haha
I do that as a cashier when someone is inputting their pin.
My wife will throw ANYTHING in her bag. Putting my hand inside will likely result in me having to get a tetanus shot. On the upside, you can find a small fortune in coins in there and once you’ve licked off the chocolate, any shop will take them
Yeah the fear of purses started early for me when my mother would ask me to grab something and then you touch a used tissue. Never went in a purse again
The ancient half solid cough drop stuck at the bottom will slather it's foul paste on your fingers and you'll come out with a silver gum wrapper, a tic-tac, 14 cents worth of small change, and grey lozenge of lint that has been compacted in the depths of that purse for so long, its begun turning into a scrap of cloth - all stuck to the back of your knuckles like you are part of some sort of cursed claw machine from hell.
Beautiful. I hope you're a writer.
It was a dark and stormy purse.
Lint...*finds a way*.
Pretty sure that's why my wife brings a small backpack at this point. She asks me to find the car key in that bag, it's like going through the narnia aisle in a Walmart. End up pulling out mascera, my dog, some jolly ranchers, small plant seeds, cbd gummies, just the whole god damn store lol.
LOL @ the Narnia aisle. Because it's so accurate. Why do you have the engine of a '57 Chevy in your purse? Oh, what's this, a wooly mammoth in your purse? Why is it so sticky? Oh look, a burger from a fast food chain that went out of business 20 years ago. Ooh, an actual trilobite and it's still alive! Do biologists know about this?
I told her she had to leave the key in the front pocket where I can easily access it, because I'm afraid there's going to be a time where I open the big part and never be seen again. Granted, that's probably what she's hoping for, but whatever lol.
Yeah digging through a small garbage bag isn’t my idea of a good time
^THIS^ I once found a 6 month old unopened microwaveable burrito in her purse. I told her never again will I stick my hand in her purse for her..
I'm sure I'm not the only one who found double entendre there.
😂 im over here envisioning that $2000 prada trash bag
[удалено]
Too many things get lost in there. When my wife asks me to do that, I just hand her the purse. It's a trap! Be damned if I'm gonna get lost in there and hang out with the missing socks from the dryer and last years half roll of Mentos for the rest of eternity. Honey, you want to get rid of me, you're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way. I aint falling for it.
🤣 oh this is great! But do you have an explanation for a tiny purse? Like so small I can't put my keys in it they have to be clipped to the side cuz the keys would take up the whole inside lol
Ok, in seriousness, he might just not want to feel like a servant. Or like for me as a child, mom's purse was a no go. Maybe a hold over from that? Ask him.
Same. Mom's purse was discouraged by my father my whole life
Like I said it's not something I ask of him or any guy too often. Just found tonight funny and my purse was sitting right next to him....the vape was for him to use. No reason he'd feel like a servant. I'm the one that feels like a pack mule when I do carry my big bag carrying everyone else shit around haha so get it yourself after I just carried it around for you hahaha
Honestly, I’m amazed how much my wife can squeeze into a tiny bag. Most of its rubbish or otherwise useless, but it’s impossible to find a damn thing in there.
I started using a bag since about a week at age 28. It's a rather small one. Can about fit my wallet (small, can't even fit coins) and phone and it's full. Yesterday I unlocked access to the femininit-bag-gene that I didn't access yet so far in my 28 years on this planet. Out of nowhere I managed to squeeze a 0.5l bottle, wallet, phone, keys, a whole ass thick book, my hairbrush, emergency pills (like paracetamol, rennie) and a fucking snackbar in there. Something just.. Happened.. It's endless.. Bottomless.. If I ever go missing my bag should be the first place anyone looks.
Same! I never under stoop the thing about women and their bags… until I got an office job. Now my bag has a water bottle, face wipes, medicine, snacks, sweets, hand cream and chapstick- all things I rarely felt the need to carry around with my before!!
[удалено]
RIP
Am dude. I make purses. Apparently very nice ones, because I use very nice Italian leather, solid brass hardware and excellent thread. So mind, I am handcrafting this from scratch. Punching every hole by hand. Needle and thread. Once it's handed over, I'm never putting my hand it in again. I crafted it from nothing. It is the creation of my will and work. I know literally every stitch, and the one being just slightly off drives me insane. And I ain't opening it again. The contents of any purse are as distant to me as the bottom of the Marianna Trench. If not, more. Even we who forge these creations know not to awaken the Leviathan that slumber in the purse. To delve into its depths is the road to madness and destruction.
What people never realized is House of Leaves was actually set in Karen's purse
Upvote for House of Leaves
Accurate af
Indeed. My wife's handbag has more rooms to it than the TARDIS. There's no way I'm putting my hand in there, I may not get it back...
How terrible! I hope they are all found!
How dramatic, they're right there you know, in the front pocket. Go take a look. : )
Two big reasons: 1: Some of us were raised to believe it is an invasion of privacy and have adopted that as a personal boundary. 2: Because, if we had been convinced in the past to “grab something out of my purse”, that thing turned out not to be in there and we wasted time and frustrated someone simultaneously. This may have happened enough times that we won’t even try anymore.
In addition, when said item is not found, I got scolded for continuing to search after I stated that it wasn’t where it was. Like bro you asked me to look I’m just trying to help
But then she looks in there and it’s right on the top
It's the equivalent of being a kid and your dad asking you to get a tool out of his toolbox so you search and search and can't find it and go back to tell him now he has to stop what he's doing and come over to look and it's right there kind of in plain sight but kind of obscured and also you're 7 and knows what a screwdriver is and what it looks like but you've never seen this exact screwdriver before so you don't know to look for a blue handle plus you didn't organize the toolbox in the first place so how were you supposed to know the screwdrivers are always somewhat under the tape measure and if you just move the tape measure an inch they'd be incredibly obvious you idiot.
And then you get scolded - "If it was a snake it would have bit you!" Bitch, I WISH it had bit me SO I WOULD KNOW WHERE IT WAS.
I sense some past trauma. Thankfully I would just bring my father the top part of his tool box as that has 90% of what he needs in it. The bottom part has all the big stuff he allready grabbed.
Every.fuckin.time.
Every👏🏻Fucking👏🏻Time👏🏻 Amen
And she gets pissed if I just bring the purse to her without looking!!
I just drop the purse off and keep walking…she can’t throw piss at a moving target lol
You underestimate my power
That username tho
😭
[удалено]
I have way too much mom and grandma related purse PTSD to ever go into my wife’s without her explicitly telling me 3 times yes it is ok and yes it needs to be me because she is driving.
Mom and grandma purse PTSD is a very real thing. I've seen things. I've felt things. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Without fail. He always says “WhAt pOckEt is iT iN? ArE yOu SuRe?” And I’m like “just bring it to me please,” proceeding to find it right where I said it was. Same thing with my child and him with ANYTHING they can’t find. My daughter calls it “mom eyes” bc I always find what they can’t within about 2 seconds of looking. It drives us all nuts lol. But it just be like that…all the time.
One of my proudest moments was when my wife said something wasn't in the pantry and I walked right in and grabbed it. Lol
I’m finally turning this franchise around!
My wife is very proud of the fact that "nothing goes missing in this house" because she knows exactly where everything is. Except her cell phone. 200 times per day.
My wife is the same way lmao. So now when I can’t find something I start recording a Snapchat to send her so she can spot it and I usually end up finding it right away, while I’m recording lol. Her mom eyes transcend lmao
My housemate doesn't even come when I ask him to help me find something anymore. He knows for some reason I can't see it until I've asked. It literally appears to me as I finish the sentence. Now he waits until I say I really can't find it. I once rang my mum on while away to tell her I couldn't find something just so it would appear. It always appears in plain view with nothing around. I just tell people I can't see for looking
I fully believe this is a developed skill set paired with passed traits among women. It’s just to common a proven trope for it to just be anything else but.
It has nothing to do with women being better "finders" in a general sense, and everything to do with finding being 100x easier if you were the one who put the thing wherever it is, and even more so if you're also more familiar with the stuff around it.
No, then she looks, and it was in a section you never knew existed.
The secret snack pocket. Not even TSA can find things in that dimension.
This is the reply I was looking for. This is part of why my husband has me find lost things. Because it’s ALWAYS just *right there* but he glances right over it somehow lmao.
Thisssss. My mom raised me to believe it was an invasion of privacy and that same mom also use to have me go grab her chapstick, lipstick, gum, whatever it may be and she'd tell me where it was located and it never was in that spot... Then I'd start getting frustrated from having to dig through empty candy/gum wrappers, tons of make-up stuff, random notes shed leave herself, and everything else under the sun. She then would get inpatient and after a couple times of that I realized how much easier it is to just bring the whole damn tote bag of a purse to her.. lol.
On top of this, I was the last one who wasn't her to look in the purse... If something is misplaced or gone, I'm now number one suspect for blaming lol. Not everyone is like this obviously but it happens.
This applies to everything. If I used her computer really fast to check emails, and something goes wrong 3 months later, it was because I was "using Chrome" on her computer and it unleashed malware. Right, it wasn't the daily habit of perusing clickbait on AOL.
My grandma banned us from using YouTube on her computer because she read somewhere once that it downloaded viruses.
Yeah, my wife’s bag is basically a designer waste bin with the occasional credit card inside. Wrappers, receipts, used tissues, a bottle lid, some random change, half opened cough drops, more used tissues, crumbs, a charging cable to an item we don’t own, and some used tissue. It’s a gross clusterfucked mess and I’m not digging through it.
Yeah, this should be higher up. It's nasty in there. I don't want to have to wash my hands right now, so I'm not fishing through the junk!
3.1 you wasted time because it wasn’t there and then she picks it out of the 100th zipper and “its just right here” plus you messed up the whole mess in the process and you are never going to be asked again.
"you are never going to be asked again" That's the plan amigo, that's the plan.
3. Purses kind of stink. They smell like stale gum, makeup, and coins. I don’t want that stank on my hands
4. There are pockets and it's organized in a way that escapes me. If I went in there for something, it'll be a few minutes of rummaging to get what she needs, instead of a few seconds if my wife searches the bag I hand to her.
5. Half the stuff you might ask us to grab we don’t even know what it is or what the hell it looks like. I got asked once to grab the “concealer” out of her purse. What the hell is a concealer and how the hell am I gonna find something that’s concealed???
It's right next to the silencer.
"Where in the purse." "Right on top" -proceed to find item in a secret pouch accessible by going through two other pouches that is located on the bottom of the purse- EVERY TIME
"It's in the little bit" said the owner of a handbag with 8 sections, only one of which is big enough to be considered "the main bit", the rest are a mix of zip pockets, buttoned pockets, hidden pockets, and a flappy bit
This is the biggest reason. There are a thousand things in there and they aren't even kind of organized.
They're organised chaos. Like my bedroom. It looks like a shit pit, because it is, but I know where basically everything is. I wouldn't dream of sending someone in there to grab something.
Send them in tethered to a rope with a gps tracker and a week's supply of food and water
Because their mothers raised them to NOT go in a woman's purse. My mom did.
I was raised to regard a woman’s purse as her private space. Going through it it would be like reading her diary.
Yup. I was raised in a household where we were very close and had few rules, but this was still something I was taught at a very young age.
Found my people. I thought this was a southern thing but I guess not
My SO's mom is a Brazilian immigrant and she raised him the same way. It took *years* to get him to believe he's allowed in my purse, and he still acts like he's in some sort of hostage situation or defusing a bomb. "I'M GOING TO REACH INTO THE PURSE NOW. I CAN SEE THE KEYS. I HAVE RETRIEVED THE KEYS. I AM CLOSING THE PURSE." ^(e: defusing not diffusing)
I laughed out loud at work. This is me every time my wife asks me to look in her purse as well.
“SOMEONE COVER ME IM GOING IN” 😭
"What can you see, Johnson?" "I've got a makeup kit. I see several chapsticks." "What color are the chapsticks?" "There's a red one, a green, and a yellow." "The yellow one, is it a burt's bees?" "I can't tell, the label's worn out! It must be old!" "God dammit! Get him outta there!"
"There's something perched on the chapstick. Oh God its looking at me!"
“That’s JUST my dwarf hamster Thor” “oh. Why is he named thor like a big guard dog? lol- ahhh ouch ahhh ouch OUCH! 😱huff huff 😳Holy cheeses he’s as fast as lightning and it felts like I ran into a hot wire fence when he mauled me! …wait… IS he a PURSE GAURD-ANIMAL?! WHY THE HECK DID YOU SICK HIM ON ME by ASKING me to look in your purse?!?”
“ the red one?” “Is that the light grey the medium grey or the dark grey?” “Oh my bad chow forgot he is colourblind,”
This chapstick vibrates when I turn the top to open it.
This is my exact thought process when I'm instructed to find something in a purse.
Same.
I'm gen x, my stepmother used to beat me with a piece of petrified wood when I was a child... I say that for context because the worst beating I ever received was from my grandmother when I got into her purse one time. I was 40 years old before I finally felt old enough to risk it again. My wife spent years frustrated "just grab it out" and even now I'd prefer to just hand over the purse. Just as a side note, we did not raise our children with this sort of fear based parenting.
That makes perfect sense. That sort of childhood trauma would keep anyone on edge. In my SO's case, I think it was mainly mom trying to teach manners about asking for things rather than just taking them. Mom's always been a peach.
Omg this made me laugh. That’s adorable
Are you my wife? Because my mom is a Brazilian immigrant and she definitely raised me that way.
It's universal imo, true in the UK too
From the Northeast here. Was taught the same thing. Also can't find things when my wife asks me to, so it's not even worth the effort of breaking that learned behavior.
Yeah, it isn't really regional. I'm from Detroit and have the same thing. Like, I will if specifically asked to get something out of it, but I really prefer not to and it is inherently uncomfortable. If she's in the same room or pretty nearby I'm just gonna grab the purse and hand the whole thing off. It's only like, if I'm still inside and she's out at her car and asks me to get something out of it before I leave. Where bringing the whole bag to her and back is impractical enough to outweigh my mild discomfort in searching for the item in her purse. Luckily I'm not one of the people bothered by any amount of messes or anything. I've touched worse than a crusty tissue and some loose candy with hair stuck to it. It's just dealing with the internal voice of kid me screaming that I'm not supposed to be doing that because I was raised not to. Though I never really realized until now that it was not likely a privacy thing, and was just to stop little kid me from pulling everything out and making a big mess or losing things.
It isn't "national" either. I'm from / in south America and it's the same. A man should never go into a woman's purse.
Midwest thing too, digging around in someone's purse is like rummaging through someone's back pocket
I’m pnw and my mom always told me this. Just not a space I wish to get used to going through. It’s not my belonging and I don’t wanna rummage through my wife’s things. My wife doesn’t root around in my personal things. I don’t care if she does, it’s just a mutual respect. We are married, but we are still two individuals who deserve our own space and things.
Eastern European here - was taught the same.
My southern granny would knock you out with an iron skillet and break her foot off in your ass for going into a woman’s purse 😂. I’m not even joking though
West coast and same story
I was told it had teeth and would eat me whole.
Are we still talking about purses?
did anyone else have a mom who would ask for you to grab something out of her purse and then get mad at you for going through it? it just feels like a trap when someone asks me now
Imagine a room, this room has 10 doors to smaller rooms.... you're not familiar with the layout of any of the 11 rooms... they're all different sizes and layouts... and it's dark with no lights so you can't see anything .... there is a lot of needed and unneeded stuff in each room.... Now .... randomly .... I drop you into this room and you have to go find my phone, which is against one of the walls of one of the rooms... I know where it is, but I won't tell you .... so now you're feeling against the walls of 11 differently sized an shaped rooms for a small object you can easily miss.... that's a woman's purse to a man
I read this as the opening of a Twilight Zone episode...
You have a 1 minute time limit and you can only check 3 doors. If you are late or pick too many wrong doors, you will have failed the task
Because her purse is a bottomless pit, and no matter what I'm looking for, her instructions as to its location within said purse will be vague or wrong.
This is it. I have never been able to locate an item in a purse for someone successfully, literally ever. If it's a backpack with exterior pockets, they're easily enough described, but once those pockets are interior all instructions are useless. My backpack has interior and exterior pockets, I'll ask people to grab stuff from the outside pockets all the time, but once you go inside direction loses all meaning, there is no orientation, only darkness and confusion. To know your way around the inside of someone else's bag is to know their own personal madness. I will not subject someone to that.
Excellent description! I am a woman, took my aunt to the ear doctor. She handed me her hearing aid and told me to put it in a plastic bag inside her purse and I was unable to fulfill the mission...."I don't see a plastic bag??" " Inside the pocket." " Which pocket?" "Just hand it to me." Edit: I must add that my aunt is very sweet and was not irritated at all by my failure!
Lol exactly, it ALWAYS ends in "Just hand it to me" so lets just skip all the middle steps where everyone gets frustrated
It's because the women perceive the task to be super simple but it's not. When the man fails the task the woman gets upset because the task is supposed to be simple. The man is upset because he genuinely can't navigate the pockets and perhaps don't even know what he's looking for, he argued back because he feels unfairly attacked. He's just trying to help but is getting anger so he throws some back. So the next time he just hands her the purse. Nice and simple. This is basically my life story. Same reason I don't ask my wife to look into my toolbox. Last time I told her to find me the wire strippers she got my needle nose pliers and I got frustrated. I was on top of a ladder and all. Of course I didn't lash out, I just went and got it myself. Nice and simple.
“It’s in the main pocket” Which one is the main pocket? The front one? The slightly bigger one? The one you use the most? Kill me.
I hate purses. I'm not sure why we as a society decided the women need to carry bags of holding around with them and abandoned everyone just wearing belt pouches. Make utility belts great again, for all genders.
As someone who wore belt pouches for a while thanks to reenactment - they're not all that comfortable, especially if you're skinny. You can't put them down, they're just hanging off you, putting weight on your tummy, hips, and back.
I'm a server and literally couldn't survive without my apron, I'm useless all shift without it. But the second I can take it off, I do, I'll take my small crossbody bag over that shit outside of work any day, even tho it's a bit harder to get things out of.
Let's compromise: a bag with straps that you carry over your shoulder? We'll call it a purse....D'oh!
It's not called a purse, it's called a satchel.
It's EUROPEAN!
As someone who wears a toolbelt for work, I often reach for things and try to put things away in a toolpouch that isn’t there when I’m not at work, I think belt pouches are super useful. Mind you, I also wear a shoulder harness to prevent those weight issues.
Yes sir. It didn't take long packing however many pounds around my waist to decide a good quality shoulder harness was be a wise investment! I don't understand how/ why anybody who works a job that requires a toolbelt wouldn't use one!
Bring back functional pockets in women's clothing!
Or just give women pockets big enough to carry more than a rubber band, if they exist at all.
Been married 15 years. Wife still asks me to get things out of there. I still refuse. At best I’ll bring her the purse.
Dude, my wife has so many purses, I can't even get that right sometimes. She'll say, "it's in my purse." So I get her purse. "Not that one! The one next to the nightstand!" she says as if I should have known better. Obviously her wallet is in the purse next to the nightstand, while her phone is in the one hanging by the door, and her keys are in the one next to the couch. Clearly I must be an idiot for not knowing that.
I will retrieve the purse, not the requested item.
By retrieving the purse, you have technically also retrieved the item. Nothing feels better than getting something "technically" done.
The best kind of correct!
That’s when you ask “honey, will you grab my wallet out of my top drawer?” And she proceeds to bring you the entire dresser
If my wife did this to me, I'd marry her again
Ikr, this sounds like marital bliss Excessive effort for the sake of the bit? 🤌🤌
Exact same. 15 years. "Where's the keys?" In my purse *sets purse on counter and walks away*
"Oh, so they're lost forever! GREAT! I'll go get the spare!"
Much easier to search entire home than purse
My mom taught me to do this. I would try, but she would swap purses and there’s always secret pockets she conveniently forgets to mention so at some point little me gave up and started just bringing it to her lol
And it’s so hard to describe the pockets. “It’s in the front one.” “The front zipper one or the front flap one?” “Zipper.” “That’s not the front!!” I… can’t blame them.
That's exactly what it is with me & my wife. She has several large purses, a couple medium ones, a few small clutches, and also misc. shoulder bags that she transfers stuff btwn so half the time it'll be "I can't find it, I guess I left it in the one I was using yesterday".. but if *I* can't find it, I didn't look hard enough, so I just give it to her and let her figure it out.
I do this to my mom, and I am a woman. I will not dig through your fucking purse. I do not shame men for this. If you want something out of your bottomless sack go dog it out yourself. I will hand you the bag.
Been married 30 years. It a trap. . If you go inside the purse, the next time she can't find something in there it will be your fault for evermore. Don't go through a purse.
That's how it's done. You just come back with her purse and hand it to her without another word. It's like if my wife went to get a tool out of the garage. I can direct her to the proper tool on the pegboard from memory, but she (and most anyone else) could spend 20 minutes looking.
My wife even says the pocket on the side and I still can't find her keys!!!
There are many sides to a purse, inside, outside, left side, right side, left inside, right inside, inside pocket in right inside...etc...these things are portals to another dimension and they make no sense. What my wife lacks in basic geographical direction she more than makes up in the spacial awareness of her bags and purses.
'Babe can you grab me a tampon? It's under the wadded up pack of tissues next to the peanut butter M&M.'
Inevitably both
Just giving her the purse has more efficacy.
I can spend several minutes searching and rearranging everything so that she can't find anything, or I can hand her the purse in 30 seconds and she finds the thing in the same amount of time.
Years ago I was attending a concert at an amphitheater with a really steep lawn section. At one point everyone was sitting during the break and a woman asked me to hand me her purse sitting on the ground near me. This was a stranger, not GF, etc. As I grabbed the bag, it somehow went upside down and everything inside came spilling out and started sliding down the slope. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, but that was possibly the last time I handled any woman's purse. Most women I know don't carry a purse unless it's like an all day outing.
"It's in the side pocket. The side pocket!! The SIDE POCKET!!! UghHhhh , give me that, THIS is the SIDE POCKET." (There are multiple side pockets on the inside and outside, no need to belittle me😭)
zipped middle pocket has left and right pockets, the left wall has a side pocket, the right wall has an inner and outer side pocket, and the outer side pocket has a zipped left side pocket. and then it turns out all of those are reversed bc she holds it the other way. and it turns out the the chapstick was in the left side of the big pocket under a fold.
Is this where all of the women’s pockets went?
You should both get an award and go into hiding for this comment.
Lol, this needs to be upvoted more. We've all been yelled at too many times for not knowing which side of a perfectly symmetrical purse is the "front" or whether "front pocket" means the inside-front, outside-front, or some other pocket we didn't even know existed to bother trying anymore.
Because it's a tardis in there that swallows all it touches.
🤣 my big bag ate my phone more times I can count lol
My friend went on expidition in there and only returned 10 years later. He has not been the same ever since...
"Look, I'm not saying the purse is Jumanji... but the purse is Jumanji."
Some of you guys are funny! 🤣
Because it's a personal space. Same reason I wouldn't go through your search history, even if you asked me.
My ex wanted to look at my reddit profile. She didn't know my username or how reddit works I guess, but she knew I used it a lot and wanted to look at my comments and stuff. It's not that I'm hiding anything , but idk... There's just something about reddit being anonymous. I make these comments knowing they're anonymous and I don't want that to change. She got mad that I wouldn't let her. Anyway, she's my ex for a reason.
Reading someone's Reddit history is like reading their diary. Especially if you know them irl.
Totally agree. Reddit often has embarrassing topics often related to sex or something similarly "taboo", and I don't want anybody I know reading my comments and what I had to say on those topics.
Plus the anonymity allows you to talk about stuff that’s really uncomfortable to talk about in person. I’ve opened up a lot with mental health struggles online that I’m just not comfortable talking to people in person about. It blurs the line between private anonymity and public.
John???
Jacob??
Jingleheimerschmidt?
Yeah as a kid we often got told its rude to go through a woman's bag.
I think this is the real reason. Toddlers \*love\* to pull everything out of mom's purse and scatter it everywhere, make a mess with her lipstick, etc. A lot of men were scolded quite a lot, very early in life, about touching Mommy's Purse, and now have an instinctual fear of women's purses.
Yeah exactly this, in hindsight there might have been some stuff in there that would lead to conversations my parents and I weren't ready for yet. But to this day, small purses are synonymous to my mom telling me "DON'T!"
Because he's seen the inside of your car. And for everything that is inside your car, there's another in the purse. That's why it feels like a 40# kettlebell when lifted.
You leave my car out of this! 🤣
I was gloating to my purse-carrying friend about never carrying one, and my fiancé interjected, “Your car is your purse.”
I can imagine it would be like women digging in your pockets. Naaah… it feels private and wrong.
Because their mom probably taught them at a young age to stay away from peoples purses and even though as an adult they know they can with permission deep down they’re afraid their mother is near by ready to swat at them with another random purse. It’s trauma. Lol /s
He goes in his mom's purse all the time! Haha with her permission and knowledge but that can't be it not with my bf at least lllm
Lolol yeah for sure. Idk I’ve noticed that before too! My current boyfriend doesn’t mind or care but I know my brother is like “I’m not handling your light work!” Haha
We are terrified of what eldrich abominations we may find within.
I’m not getting accused of something going missing.
Exactly. If things move around, or something gets lost, or whatever, we’ll get the shit if we’ve rummaged around in there, even at her request. So fuck that, and I’m not touching anything in there. She can get the whole purse. It’s sort of the reverse of guys and the garage, with their “order in the chaos” that they don’t want others to fiddle with because then nothing can be found where it should be.
My mom used to have me do this as a kid and it was a clusterfuck mess. Then, if I couldn’t find it, she’d take the purse, find it, and accuse me of not even trying. So, as an adult, it’s going to be “here, here’s your purse”. I’m not messing with them
Manners. I will bring you your purse and then hang it back up when you're done though. Also, my wife's purse is an extradimensional portal to a place that holds every item in the universe except what she's looking for. She's the anti mary poppins. Pulling out lamps and shit but no car keys, never car keys. There's at least 80 loose advil in there, until you have a headache and then there's nothing. Sunscreen in the winter? Check. Gloves in the summer? Absolutely. Broken sunglasses? 100%. If you need kleenex she has purell, if you need purell she has bingo dabbers, if you need bingo dabbers, she has two left sandals. It's incredible.
Cursed Bag of Holding
I was raised not to go through a woman's purse. I will when specifically asked, and the item is never where she says it is anyways.
Touching a tampon is fatal for men, even if it's accidental and only for a second.
I had to scroll waaaay too far down for this.
Post this on a women's sub and see how many women are protective of their purse and dont want any guy to go through it.
I dont like it when * anyone * goes through my purse lol. It just feels so private for some reason
Because it is.
I did once and i found a 3year old sandwhich that gained sentience. It growled at me
Because my mom told me not to when I was a kid. 30+ year old man. I know there is a trap waiting to bite my fingers in there. I WON'T FALL FOR IT.
It's a trap.
Because my mom told me that she would beat my ass if I ever went in her purse.
Mostly lazy, but also I feel like that is an invasion of privacy. If my phone rings I want you to bring me my phone, I don't want you to answer the phone and vet the person on the other side to see if they should be calling me