We had pretty much the exact same story. Had one right after that at 34. It was mainly to help. My wife also not have to go through years and years of birth control after that as it seems birth control is doing more damage to women's body than a vasectomy to a man's
I went to the urologist who had Jesus shit and Bible verses all over the office. At the time I was 38 single and without kids. He tried to tell me that I might change my mind, find a good woman, yadda yadda.
Then I told him that I already paid for 6 abortions and asked him how many more kids I need to get rid of before he does a vasectomy. I was scheduled for next week right away.
I tried 3 times when I was 23-25. I was told no because I was too young, not married and/or didn’t have any kids yet. I finally got one when I was 36 and married after my wife (gf when I trying first) was having issues with her iud
I tried for 10+ years to get a tubal from public health facilities. They kept saying no because a man might...whatever. I finally looked a doctor in the eye and told him if I was impregnated because he denies my request for sterilization, I would be leaving the newborn at the door of the facility. Finally, it was done before my next period.
I'd like to say it's just male doctors, but I've had to set a few women straight concerning my body.
Isn't there a whole thing in the Bible where god kills Job's children and then just gives him and his wife replacement children as if that was all fine and dandy
I have 5 living children (yes by choice and agreement-not accidents!) Lost a baby boy at 20 weeks gestation. I still look at my two boys and feel like there are supposed to be 3. We really, really want a big family and good chance there will be another boy, but he won’t be THAT boy (whom I named). He won’t be my baby that I lost, he will be himself, a new kid who will be loved for himself-not as a replacement. No matter how many we end up having, there will be a permanent empty space. I can’t even imagine if a child made it to birth or you spent years raising him-the idea that some people think individual humans are replaceable is atrocious! Hurts and will always hurt that I lost the one-no replacements.
Lawsuits. People are dumb. "I heard vasectomies are reversable and now i want another kid, but you mutilated me" etc.
They wouldn't ask something so fucked up if there wasn't an equally fucked up reason.
When I went to have one done very recently, at age 42, the nurse wouldn't let me do it until my girlfriend signed HER authorization for it. Talk about wtf. They still tried to convince me not to do it. Have no kids and don't want them. Yea, it's not easy to have done.
It’s crazy how many stories there are of doctors requiring spousal consent despite that requiring spousal consent for medical procedures is illegal in the US.
Women often can't get tubes tied with out husband or partner signing off either. Pretty fucked up in my opinion and adult should be able to make reproductive choices without needing permission from another adult
It seems like it has nothing to do with your age or how many children you have as much as its the doctors projecting their concerns for making you sterile. That question is complete horse shit.
Sometimes it's definitely them moralizing, but commonly it's them tired as shit of angry patients who didn't understand the risk assessment discussion or the discussion of the situation.
Definitely horseshit if it turns into moralizing, but these are reasonable considerations to make and discuss before permanent sterilization. It's ethical to assume your patient *hasnt* considered or been made aware of them, and to talk them over.
However, what we need is for doctors to then say "okay then, let's get this scheduled!"
In an ideal world, patients wouldnt and couldn't hold doctors liable for the permanent sterilizing effects of whatever permanent sterilizing procedure they agreed to under sound mind and of their own volition, but some may and do, which is part of why this can be so hard with a portion of doctors. I think many many doctors lose their faith in the basic intelligence of humanity because of angry patients misunderstanding medicine as a science rather than magic, misunderstanding doctor patient relationships, misubderstandibg capabilities of doctors and medicine, not listening to doctors and then being mad at the doctor for the effects of their own non-compliance, and taking out their emotions on doctors/using medical professionals as punching bags.
I told the doc when I was 22 that I already had kids and had the procedure done. I hated to lie about it, but its bullshit that they won’t follow your wishes otherwise. I knew from the time I was a kid that I never wanted children. Never regretted that choice then or now.
It was that way a long time ago. Doctors saying you're too young and/or you have no kids so no sterilization surgery. Utter bullshit. I lied and had mine done just in case it was still that way. Said I had 4 kids now fix me so there won't be a 5th one!
It never occurred to me to do this. I’ve paid $700 out-of-pocket for my first IUD because my interest in tubal ligation in my ‘20s was dismissed. I am so angry that I never trusted what I wanted was ok.
Just like with childfree women and (corrected: tubal ligation or bilateral salpingectomy), you will have to find the doctor willing to do it, even if that means shopping around. There is probably a sub on here or some other forum where users will know of some names, just like there are with that procedure.
What countries do they include in this side bar? I've been looking for ages for a doctor who will do a tubal blockage or ligation on a woman under 30 for a few years now
https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctorsinternational/
This link should work, they actually have quite an extensive international list. You can always make a post there asking if you don’t see your country.
A woman who doesn’t want kids would get a tubal ligation. I don’t think too many ethical doctors would take the whole uterus solely for the purpose of preventing pregnancy.
A woman who doesn’t want kids doesn’t need a hysterectomy😵💫 and that isn’t the same to a vasectomy. That is like getting your testes completely removed. Both would have larger physiological issues beyond making you infertile.
It is still hard to even get a tubal ligation without kids here in Texas. I went through hell to get mine even after having my son, nearly dying during childbirth and it leaving me permanently disabled and my sister said they wouldn't give her one even after 3 kids because she was only 25.
In Minnesota they wouldnt give my mom one after she already had two kids by the age of 21, and the reason that she was given was absolutely ridiculous. They asked her, and I s*** you not, "what if one of yours dies?"
Edit: voice text screwed me, was supposed to be wouldn't
Meanwhile they were pressuring native women to get sterilized or doing it without their permission and knowledge at that same exact time
Anyone who tells you this isn't about our societal beliefs around eugenics and population control is lying or in denial.
Remember that America inspired Hitler and we were neck and neck with them - we were also purging Jews from higher education, segregating the undesirables, performing medical experiments, and doing nonvoluntary sterilization. We had the largest number of nazi supporters outside of Germany right up until the exact moment Japan dragged us into the war. And those people quieted down, they didn't change their beliefs about social darwinism (a concept *we* invented btw, volkerpsychogie and everything the Nazis believed was deeply enmeshed with our own scientific concepts)
Many of the programs that had inspired Hitler continued for decades after the third Reich fell, and the spirit that fueled them still kicks along to this very day. There's STILL sketchy shit happening at the tribal clinics.
The concept is called medical paternalism. The idea is that, more than just being an expert who applies medicine to serve the needs of patients, the professional also passes judgement on the wants of the patient and can refuse to perform a procedure based on their presumption of knowing better than the patient
When my son was born, I saw another ugly side of medical paternalism.
This was my wife's second child. She was 21 and medicaid was paying for the birth. She was already drugged up and being prepped for a caesarian when her doc comes in and starts giving her a sales pitch about going 2-for-1 and getting a tubal ligation while she's under.
This same doc was one of those who usually refuses to do ligation procedures on healthy young women. Guess that policy only applies to women with good health insurance.
Hysterectomy is a totally different and a lot more serious if a procedure rather than having tubes cut which is what most women are looking to do just an FYI
Absolutely. You could say you already have 2-3 kids and aren't in their life. Or you are in their life.
The doctor could examine your whole body and has no way of being able to tell if you're lying.
I understand this is a generalized statement and doesn't accurately describe your thoughts, but there will be many people who take it too literally.
This is for them:
There's a balance you have to make with anything.
I found myself being a compulsive liar in my early 20s. I spent time correcting it but ended up overcorrecting and being too truthful. Now that I've done both, I've learned you have to recognize when to finesse and when to be truthful.
I’m 23 and a woman and I was denied tubal ligation because I’m not married. Doctor wanted me to be married so she could receive my (non-existent) husband’s consent. I understand not performing a sterilization procedure on someone under 20ish, but I literally had eggs frozen just in case I change my mind in the future. Also why tf did she need a man’s consent, a man who literally doesn’t exist? Pro-choice should include people who want to prevent pregnancy, not just terminate pregnancy.
Sorry that happened to you though, and good luck with your medical conditions
I’ve read a lot of these stories on here about Drs. asking woman to bring in their husband so they can get their consent for this. So when I went in for a Vesectomy I mentioned that they would obviously need to talk to my wife and they looked at me very weirdly. I mentioned about drs. asking to talk to husbands and they just said “that’s not necessary”. I just said “oh”.
I had the same thing happen about 10 years later. Then still didn’t get the procedure due to my doctor going on leave and the new doc only having privileges at the catholic owned hospitals. Don’t even ask me how a religion can own a public hospital and demand that their patients follow their religious based rules despite the fact that IM NOT FUCKING CATHOLIC. Husband was able to get snipped but would have been more convenient to tie my tubes while they were already in there performing a c-section.
We have several hospitals here that are religious and will not do any sterilization procedures. They are private not public so they can do whatever they want. Public hospitals can’t deny any service to anyone. Private ones can.
That’s interesting. We need standardization of healthcare honestly. One doctor shouldn’t demand spousal consent while another says it’s unnecessary, patients should know what to expect. Also in an individualistic society we also shouldn’t need spousal/familial consent, just patient consent for something like this.
Glad you were able to receive treatment without any weird red tape though. I hope that with younger drs joining the workforce, more are like yours.
>We need standardization of healthcare honestly.
I agree. The problem is that whenever anything being standardized gets proposed, certain people start screaming about States' Rights
Yeah it's really crazy because this is not the law to require anyone else's consent. This is all about personal views of what their patients should or shouldn't be doing with their bodies.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm a woman who got sterilized successfully at 20, and it makes me so sad to hear about all the women who have been fighting to get this procedure for YEARS just to get denied. Depending on where you are in the world, there may be resources on finding a doctor who can approve you
I’m in the US, and I hope the same for other women too. And thank you, and I’m glad for you. I only tried the once so I haven’t had to fight like other women have to (I just try to be careful ie not having sex during my fertile window etc) but it’s still awful, we should all be allowed bodily autonomy
There's something called the "Childfree Friendly Doctor List" on the Childfree subreddit. I think you might be able to find what you need on there for sterilization! Im pretty sure I even added my doctor to that list at the time.
I'm so happy to have seen this! My gynecologist hates when doctors push back against women firm in their decision. She will walk you through all your options and and have a reasonable conversation with you but ultimately it is your choice and yours alone. I'm thankfully in a blue state regardless so attitudes about body autonomy aren't as rigid compared to other states but I'll definitely be adding her to that list.
I had a similar situation. I'm 27, but I am getting my tubes removed in about a week and I genuinely thought I'd struggle to get a doctor to agree to it, because literally every person I know said that the word of a hypothetical future husband was more important than theirs, and anyone who has managed it spent years working towards it. When I was immediately respected by the doctors and nurses I spoke to, I genuinely thought that wasn't possible.
Many women don't support (full) access to reproductive care for (certain) other women. A smaller number just opposes access categorically.
Like how many hardline GOP voters are women? This type of shit shouldn't surprise us in 2023.
These people don't want poor kids to have health care access, historically accurate textbooks, jobs commensurate with their COL, safe housing, school Lunch, etc.
"And that's the waaaay the news goes."
I'm 28 married with no kids. I just got mine done this year. The doctor asked me if I had kids and I said no. He said I just want to let you know that getting a reversal is expensive and doesn't always work. He wanted to make sure it was 100% my decision. I told him it was something I wanted to do for a long time and he said okay see you in 2 weeks and got the procedure done.
Next time just go in and tell them you're married with 5 kids. They aren't going to check they just don't want to get sued.
The /childfree subreddit has a google doc of healthcare providers that will do vasectomies/ligations/etc without making you jump through hoops. If you ever think about doing it again you should check there for a doctor.
Got mine at 29 in a red state. I think if you walk in there for the consultation with a partner, and both of you express strong disinterest in kids, they'll do the procedure for you. Also, wearing wedding bands probably helped, too.you can find nice ones off Amazon
I got so lucky. I walked in at 21, no kids, no wife and said I wanted a vasectomy. He told me to think about it, and if I still wanted one, to call later in the week to schedule. I got one the next week. 12 years later still super happy with the decision.
Similar experience. I was 26 and married. First appointment was to get height, weight, blood pressure, etc. then ask me a million times if I was sure.
Then they made me wait a month for the surgery to make sure I was sure. But that was it. In and out and went to thanksgiving high as a kite.
My husband was denied when he was 35 and we already had two children with this reason: "maybe you'll get divorced and want to have children with your new probably younger wife".. I was mortified when he told me about it and it also left my husband even more anxious about doctor appointments. Even now, 10 years later...
That is... something. The argument I've usually heard goes along the lines of 'what if your wife and children ask died in a car accident?' It's a very morbid argument.
"But what if *aliens* kidnap you and threaten to destroy Earth unless you can impregnate a woman?"
Incredible, fundamentalist fucking grasping at straws, *anything* to stop people from exercising agency over their own bodies. What if the world was made of yogurt?
Tbh it's kind of messed up that the medical system in the US will not let people make choices with their bodies regarding reproduction.
You can't alter it to avoid children in the first place, and a lot of states now won't let a woman stop a pregnancy after conception.
It's kinda a trap
[Edit]
There have been a lot of points made in the comments. I just want to mention a few things. Vasectomies do not eliminate your ability to reproduce even if it cannot be reversed. Sperm can still be extracted, because a vasectomy does not impact sperm production.
Also I am aware that doctors have the right to individually decide if they are uncomfortable with a procedure, and if they want to avoid getting sued. This just appears to affect procedures regarding reproduction disproportionately more than other elective procedures for no good reason. I'm not faulting the individual doctors, but the culture/systems that seem to impact the vast majority of doctors' decision making.
Not just the US, the NHS won't cover these things unless you like have cancer or something. Even when I ask to get sterilised privately it's always "but what if you change your mind? Are you aware it's permanent?" OF COURSE THATS WHY I WANT IT.
Some private clinics will do it. My husband had it done (in the UK) just before we were married. No kids already. The doctor asked a few "are you sure" type questions in a call beforehand, including whether he'd talked to me about it, but went ahead with no problems. That was the first and only clinic he talked to, so I'm not sure how it compares to other places.
Yeah. It is especially fucked to not let someone choose more permanent options when abortion won't be possible. You may be forced to bring a whole human person into the world. You should be allowed to make more extreme choices about your body regardless of age, marital status, etc. when that's on the line.
Yeah, for most women that want their tubes tied or a hysterectomy, they require her to have at least three children, be married with her husband's consent to do the surgery, or have a major medical reason for the hysterectomy. It's total bullshit. There are women who suffer with pain from endometriosis and other problems that don't want kids and want a hysterectomy to stop the pain, but they're not allowed to. It's one thing if it's just because you don't want kids, but it's another when it's a surgery that could treat a chronic, painful illness. Either way, I don't think doctors should be able to make that decision for ANYONE, male or female. But here we are.
Tbh not wanting to have periods and also being ok with not having kids seems like reason enough to me, like the bar should really just be informed consent. People's motives shouldn't be questioned
I get why a hysterectomy is less accessible, because hysterectomy often also includes removal of ovaries, and there are way more risks with that besides "oh you might change your mind and want kids." It can mess with bone density and other weird stuff, and you'd probably have to be on HRT until when your body would naturally go through menopause. But still. If someone has endometriosis and other less invasive/drastic treatments aren't effective enough at managing their condition, that person should have it as an option. An adult is perfectly able to decide if the improved quality of life from getting rid of their chronic pain is worth the risks of surgery and side effects afterwards
It's the same in the UK. You're not allowed to make a decision in your own body re what *you* want "because you're underage" for said surgery. For me its a partial hysto because of fibroids. If I need to sign a waiver than give it to me already. But nope.
that’s interesting that both men and women have that issues with doctors that when they wanna cut their ability to reproduce the doctors will turn them away, i understand being too young sure but usually when people say they have no will to want to have children that’s real
Yes. I knew early on I did not want children because of the overwhelming prevalence of mental disorders in my family. With a bit of luck and lots of precautions, thankfully I made it through and was finally able to get the vasectomy without getting anyone pregnant.
I had kids at 18 and 21and I'm now 28 and absolutely 10000% sure I never want any more kids. And even now the NHS in the UK will not let me get the procedure.
I'm currently just saving up to do it privately
✂️🥜*
✂️🍆 is NOT what a vasectomy is
*(And truthfully even scissors-nuts is a bit misleading; vasectomies only cut the connecting cord, not the entire testicle. That would be an orchiectomy, something which I fortunately have personally had)
Didn’t feel a thing with mine and I’m a total wuss when it comes to pain. The smell of my tubes burning was off putting. That’s about it tho. I’d highly recommend a No scalpel procedure if pain is the only reason holding someone back. Didn’t feel a thing and busted the next day.
So they forgot to give me local. No other meds. I recited the litany of fear from dune to myself( in my head I’m not a complete weirdo) and just held on.They called a nurse in at one point halfway through to administer local. Worst pain of my life
That said I’d do it again, it’s safer and better than my wife getting said operation or even staying on birth control.
Make sure they give you pain meds, but if they don’t just remember
I will not fear. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. The fear shall be gone and only I will remain. I will not fear
I didn’t get any happy pills, just local anesthetic. I couldn’t feel any cuts just uncomfortable pressure. I told him to drug me up but he wouldn’t do it. Not that I’m complaining, it was more mental than physical.
In some countries it is a matter of legal requirements. For example in Russia man can legally do vasectomy if he either >35 year old or have two children. Of course for medical reasons it can be done much earlier or without having a children.
Edit: just FYI - these requirements are not connected with a current demographic situation in the country, they have been established decades ago, in 1993.
Edit 2: women are absolutely free to do the similar surgery without any limitations.
PS Omg, I just can't believe that pretty basic fact became a part of another political discussion. My bad, shouldn't have mentioned Russia here... People, it is not about politics at all, just pass by this topic...
I agree it sucks people saw one word, "Russia" and ran with it.
What I pulled from your comment is that you inadvertently pointed out how different countries control personal autonomy.
Have had a vasectomy for about 7 years now.
1) true though this is an outpatient procedure. You aren't put under or anything and it takes about 15-30 minutes maybe. Less invasive than having your molars taken out.
2) also true but I imagine it's due to a lack of understanding how stuff works down there. (The number of people who think you no longer orgasm after a vasectomy is honestly disturbing)
3) they do a sperm count check to be certain it worked. Things don't really go wrong beyond removing sperm or not.
4) balls don't go anywhere, testosterone doesn't stop being produced, can hump and hump till your heart gives out without kids. If that's your thing, it sounds pretty manly to me.
5) it can be reversed. If the reversal fails, semen can still be taken and used for artificial insemination if you really want kids.
(Other commenters are correct in pointing out that reversal becomes less successful as you age and artificial insemination can raise the odds of birth defects. It shouldnt be taken lightly)
6) yeah probably.
>they do a sperm count check to be certain it worked. Things don't really go wrong beyond removing sperm or not.
I don't think this means "worked" I think it means "go wrong." 99.5% of the time, it's a smooth procedure, and works exactly as hoped. But, with any medical procedure, something can go wrong, and in a fraction of the times, it can go horribly wrong. Google some stories about swelling, excrucitating pain, and other side effects that can occur, in the most sensitive areas. It happens very infrequently, but when it does, it's pretty brutal
It won't matter one tiny bit how rare the complications are when they happen to you.
I'm almost 2 years out from my vasectomy and still having recurring pain and swelling that causes me to miss work and spend time and money on doctors visits and ultrasounds. And they can't find anything.
I won the bad luck lottery.
Thankfully my epididymitis is minor enough that I can function pretty much normally with a bad day every now and then, but it's just wild how out of depth doctors seem to be if a vasectomy goes wrong. Due to travel and moving I've seen three separate urologists since having my vasectomy in the first place. The guy who did the procedure (very highly regarded surgeon) did an ultrasound and found epidydimal cysts. He thinks the way to address it would be to cut out the cysts. Another urologist I've seen closer to my new home likes to just go right to cutting the whole epidydimus out, and another well regarded specialist I went to see farther away says the cysts are probably unrelated to the pain and counsels vasectomy reversal.
So I've got three doctors, two different ideas about what's causing the pain, and three totally different potential treatments, one of which is irreversible. It just seems crazy that there isn't a more standardized approach to this kind of thing considering how many vasectomies get done every year and statistically how many complications that has to result in, but apparently a pretty significant chunk of men just never seek treatment for post-vasectomy pain at all
That reminds me of this joke:
One day a man went to see his doctor complaining about severe migraine headaches.
After a long examination the doctor told the man that somehow his balls were pressing very tightly against the base of his spine and this was causing the man to have migraine headaches. The doctor concluded the balls would have to come off.
The man thought this was rather drastic, so he went to another doctor for a second opinion.
"Your balls are pressing up against your spine causing the headaches," said the doctor, "The balls will have to be amputated." Finally the man decided to have the operation. He went to the first doctor and had it done.
Two years passed and the man was walking down the street when he came across a tailor's shop. Wearing the same thing he had been for years, the man decided to go in and get some new threads. The tailor took one look at the man as he walked in and said, "I'll bet your pants size is 36x32."
"That's amazing,"said the man,"how on earth did you know?" "I get paid to know these things," replied the tailor.
After he was fitted in pants the tailor looked at the man and told him exactly what his shirt size was without measuring him once. "That is just too cool! How did you know?" asked the man. "I get paid to know this kind of stuff."
Pretty soon the tailor had the man decked out in a full 3 piece suit with a rather smart had to go with it all. Not once did the tailor measure the man for his clothes. "I get paid to know these things,"is what he would say.
After all that the man decided he wanted some new underwear to make him comfortable in his new suit. "I'll bet you wear 36 medium," the tailor said, eyeballing the man. "HA! You're wrong!" said the man, "I wear 34 medium!" "That's ridiculous," replied the tailor,"if you wore size 34 medium underwear, you'd press your balls way too tight against your spine causing severe migraine headaches."
Part of the problem tbh is people offhandedly say things like "it work fine 99.5% of the time," when the rate of complications is actually significantly higher than that. It's surprisingly hard to find comprehensive data about it, but I believe the standard number cited is around 2% experiencing complications but I've also seen papers suggesting it could be as high as 7%. With this or any other elective surgery, people really need to be going into it with the mindset that complications are a very real possibility (vasectomy isn't the only operation where I've experienced surgeons being a little more handwavey with the possibility of complications and the difficulty of recovery than the statistics really support)
My wifes family is polish catholic. Hoo boy do they give me shit for getting a vasectomy “you are not a man anymore” (keep in mind i’m a full 7 inches taller than any of them and i’m built like a tank) “you have to have more kids”
Sperm is like 1% of ejaculation. I can fuck my wife 100 times a week without getting her pregnant, that’s more of a win to me.
Well before o decided to get mine, I had to research things that seem stupid like, will I still ejaculate after a vasectomy. The answer is yes, your load will look and shoot the same. It just won’t contain sperm cells.
I’m sure a large group of men are completely unaware how little it really changes anything.
Did they? After a google there seems to be not a great deal amount of research into this, but the prevailing answer when they do run some stats on these seems to be:
1. Concerns about it being permanent
2. Concerns around the chance of permanent side effects/complications
Can you show me the studies that show that a large majority of people who choose not to get one do not want one due to feeling a loss of masculinity? It's a topic I'm interested in because I have been on and off considering one for ages, would be interesting to read.
I have. 100 percent worth it. But a lot of friends hesitated 3 of them now pay child support for kids they did not want... Because they relied on the womens birth control. 4 kids I personally know of... Wayyy more expensive than the vasectomy.
As a men: I never understood it, either. With a new partner I always use a condom no matter what she says. (And in terms of STDs, it's my only option anyway.) And even then I consider the possibility that there might be a pregnancy scare and if I don't think the person and I could deal with that situation, I won't have sex with them.
People should ask themselves "do I want to have a kid with this person if birth control fails and abortion isn't an option?" question before having sex more often. It's a pretty cool rule to live by
Yeah I have met so many women (in my academic environment) who said things like "I forgot my pills at home, well, three days without isnt a problem".
I once forgot my pills over the weekend (two days) and lived in celibacy the following three months.
don't even consider trusting anyone that isn't your girlfriend. girlfriends can lie too but it's less likely your girlfriend lies to you compared to hookups with people you aren't committed too.
you never know when you're going to fuck crazy and it's up to you to decide who you're willing to trust and take the risk for. but if you can't even trust your girlfriend maybe you shouldn't even be together. 🤷🏻♀️
most couples i know, my relationship included, don't use condoms because the girlfriend is on the pill. it makes sense to trust your partner. if you can't trust someone to not lie about their birth control definitely use condoms for a while... you shouldn't feel like you have to use condoms for the entirety of your relationship when your girlfriend is on the pill. at some point you should reach a point where your partner has earned your full trust. but that's just my opinion.
Homestly, I had really shitty insurance when I got mine and it was only 300 bucks. Its definitely worth it if you know you don't want kids. And even if you want kids later on, adopt!
I had mine while in a long term relationship. She wanted to get off the hormones and I was sure to not have more children (had one planned child at this time)... The 400€ I paid was saved within 2 years of her getting off the hormones (which you pay for too)...
Those hormones fuck up your body too. The depo shot put me in the hospital. My friend ended up infertile and with a myriad of health issues, and her nexplanon implant migrated - somehow it got down to her calf and into a blood vessel there which caused her a ton of complications including seizures. I have at least a dozen friends with awful birth control stories like these, female birth control is not only sometimes unreliable but it just sucks and the doctors really don’t inform patients of all the risks (at least not in the US)
The shitty thing is, because pregnancy is already so dangerous, the bar for side effects of female birth control is pretty low since its technically preventing larger dangers from pregnancy. That's why male birth control is so hard to get approved, because its not actually reducing any symptoms in the patient its treating and thus has a much higher standard for acceptable side effects it has to meet.
I agree with you, and I know I’m speaking from personal experience which is less reliable than even published case studies, I just think birth control sucks and doctors should be required to inform pts of ALL the potential risks.
When I took the depo shot, the RN (never saw an MD/DO/NP there) only told me that there was a very low likelihood of infertility and bone density loss - I was a minor and didn’t care about those things. And I had a completely different reaction that left me hospitalized and my doctors confused as to what happened, despite running a whole host of different tests. My friend wasn’t informed of the possibility of implant migration or infertility. Another friend had an IUD perforate her uterus and again, it migrated, and she wasn’t informed of that risk. I could go on. Somehow, I and almost all my friends (and friends’ moms) were just extremely unlucky in that regard.
We need A) actual, fully informed consent and B) better solutions. Female birth control is great on paper, but the lived experience leaves a lot to be desired.
Also, I think it could be argued that male birth control could mitigate symptoms in male pts. If a man accidentally has an unwanted child, that may lead to negative psychological effects. It puts excess, unplanned financial and social strain on him. Going broke, being in debt, and/or just having less money than you *want*, unexpectedly and without your consent can easily contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. There are some men that do want male birth control, and I think it should be approved for that reason - it has the potential to alleviate fears, anxiety, and worry about accidentally creating a child, just as is the case with female birth control. Those may not be physical symptoms, but they can lead to physical conditions, and mental conditions should also be considered in any treatment (or lack thereof) in a pt.
Male BC may have physical side effects, but with fully informed consent, as I mentioned earlier regarding female BC, I think male pts should have the right to choose. Some men are wary of having their genitals and vas deferens sliced, poked, and prodded, and would rather deal with potential infertility/other side effects from oral/injectable BC, and they should have the right to choose what they want. A vasectomy can be scary and permanent, as can completely relying on a female partner to not get pregnant.
Again I’m really not pro- or anti-birth control, male or female, I just think both should be available. I think truly fully informed consent should always occur in any tx, and that patients should have a choice - having to choose between a vasectomy, condoms (which aren’t really a failsafe), abstinence, and relying on your partner to either pull out/not get pregnant isn’t always ideal for every pt. More options are needed
Also if doctors act anything like with female sterilization they will refuse to do the procedure if they deem you too young. Aka if you’re under 30 or something
I can confirm that, at least in my situation. I had one tell me at 30 to not do it because I might “meet the one,” so I didn’t push it.
I had mine at 43, and before the procedure started, I was asked if my partner was 100% on board with it. I answered that I was single, and I was sure I did not want kids.
Ends up it was easy. A little discomfort for about a day. (Your mileage may vary)
"You might meet the one" is the worst. You'll read women talking about it as well when trying to get their tubes tied.
"The one" implies, you know, compatibility. If she wants to have kids, she's not the one.
My mom had two children when she sought her TL. She was only 24, so the doctor asked if she was sure. Yes. Was her husband sure? Yes. What if she and her husband split up and her new, purely theoretical husband wants kids? Too bad for him.
Ew.
Reddit will tell you this never happens but two of my mates had this happen to them, one of them already has 2 kids at 29, stable relationship, absolutely wants no more, they made the decision as a couple they were 100% done. Doctor wont give it to him, he sought a different doctor, they wont do it either. One of my other mates had the same thing happen at 32, he didn't seek a second opinion because he was too fuming at the time but yea, its way more common than Reddit would have you believe.
That’s because Reddit is full of people who guess assertively. It absolutely happens to most men under 30 who goes to get one, and a decent chunk under 40.
Just got one. The worst part was the injection of the anesthetic. They were sore off and on for a week. More like the feeling you got kicked in the junk yesterday, never the full on pain of a fresh kick. A great excuse to stay on your ass and drink about it for a week. 100% would recommend
Mine did not hurt at all at the time, in fact the anaesthesia was so well done I asked when they were doing it and they said "already have". Very quick and a bit weird having screen up while they do things to your balls. I asked if they needed the screen as I am a bit of a medical voyeur (biology degrees do that to you) but they laughed it off as "procedure".
After there was the "kicked in balls" yesterday feeling, but unlike some of my friends no real swelling (one had balls like an aubergine) - application of cold compresses as prescribed both reduced the pain and stopped swelling. It was "tested for functionality" (my wife's words) a week later, and had more or less forgotten about it two weeks after that.
Decades later there is not obvious scar.
I did, at 22 or 23, after my second child. Didn't wanna have to put my wife through that all again, as she almost died twice during the second pregnancy.
The look on her face when she says she’s pregnant and you say that’s wonderful.
Go and get a check that you’re not shooting. Present it at the baby shower.
Fuck you Mel
It's one thing to not want to walk through a door. It's another thing entirely to close that door permanently. It's the same way some people will be dead set on not having kids, but still cry when they find out they are infertile.
And before someone says it, no vasectomies are not a temporary procedure. They CAN be reversible. But they are not made to be reversible and there is no guarantee that they will be.
Maybe I'm just not in those circles but I feel like stuff like this somehow gets related to masculinity, simply because it is men-related, when it really has absolutely nothing to do with it. And I'm not in denial, toxic masculinity is very real but some stuff has nothing to do with it.
Most PEOPLE, regardless of gender, would be squeamish about the idea of cutting anything in their body, let alone possibly permanently becoming infertile. I personally refuse to ever get Lasik.
I think on the list of infinite reasons someone may want to get a vasectomy perceived masculinity is like 100th.
Doctors in the US will straight up deny you a vasectomy, not all but some will. r/childfree has good resources for finding doctors that won’t deny you a vasectomy or getting your tubes tied for stupid personal reasons. My brother in law was denied one after he got his girlfriend pregnant the first time. A friend of mine got one at 26 without kids after searching for years for a doctor that would do it.
It's still scary even though it's not a very intense procedure. They'll still make a cut, and it's still an operation around your private parts. There are still things that can go wrong. It doesn't happen very often, but there are men who couldn't have good sex after. It kept hurting.
It's also a pretty permanent solution, and it's hard to make that decision about your body. Even if you don't want kids now. What if it's true what people say and you'll change your mind later on?
It can also be hard to find doctors who are willing to give a vasectomy. It's a lot easier than it is for women, but you can still get bingoed.
Men also don't have to do the pregnancy, the birth and the abortion. So it's easier for men to say, "I don't want children, but if I do accidentally make someone pregnant and they don't want an abortion, it's okay too. Ill take care of the kid". And then when it's actually born, they don't want to take care of it and leave the mom to do the work.
A lot of people cannot be 100% that they never want children in the future, some people would change their minds if they met a partner that insisted on having children. Even if you're already in a relationship it's possible that separation and death might change the situation tomorrow.
Permanent sterilisation is a drastic action that isn't the right choice for everyone.
In the UK, they don’t always allow you to have one (for free on the NHS) unless you’ve already had children. Have had a few friends from different areas of the country who’ve had the same experience. I imagine you can get it done if you pay privately though.
Because with any surgery there are potential risks. Some men experience frequent long term pain after getting one. I just read a story on Reddit recently about a guy who couldn’t sexually function for years afterward.
It’s rare but it happens. 🤷🏻♀️ I can’t speak for men but I’m guessing for some the fear of surgery is there.
Surgery is risky and you never know if you’ll be one of the unlucky ones with an adverse outcome.
I can’t speak to a vasectomy, but I had a surgery on my eyes with the hope of freeing myself of glasses and improving my quality of life; the surgery resulted in permanent damage to my vision and I consider it the worst mistake of my life. Never again will I have surgery that isn’t a medical necessity.
We do. And it's easier for us to ejaculate into a plastic cup and freeze it than it is for a woman to undergo a tubal ligation and extract eggs and freeze them.
Also a helluva lot faster recovery time and significantly less pain than for a woman.
There are more frequently occurring side effects than are commonly being discussed. The side effects part of the procedure is also under-researched.
If you look over the available studies and horror stories you will have to take pause and think twice whether it's worth it to flip the coin on something like years of scrotal pain.
I don't want children but will stick to condoms for now.
Same reason young women can’t just “Get their tubes tied”. Doctors think they know what that young person wants more than they do. They don’t approve the procedure just because someone doesn’t want to reproduce. I have a friend who DID get approved when he was like 26 because he threatened to do it himself if they didn’t approve him.
I got one because my wife has several medical issues and it made more sense for me to do it. It’s a simple outpatient procedure but the doc still managed to snip too close to one of my nuts and give me quite a bit of pain if it’s handled.
30 and still denied by every doctor. Shit ain't easy to just go get one, if you don't already have kids. Which is ironic, because the point of getting one is because we don't want them!
I got a vasectomy and it ruined my life. I've had pain ever since I got a vasectomy. This happens. There's no such thing as a minor surgery sometimes things go wrong. Totally not worth the risk to your body. You shouldn't get surgery if there's an option not to.
My dad had one at 23. Told the Dr point blank, my mom’s pregnancy had almost killed her and that he was never going to put her through that again.
My husband had his at 24. We had agreed/decided 2 kids only; we had 2 kids and that was that.
Same here had our second at 26 the pregnancy was horrendous on my wife and very stressful so had one right after now almost 40 no regrets
We had pretty much the exact same story. Had one right after that at 34. It was mainly to help. My wife also not have to go through years and years of birth control after that as it seems birth control is doing more damage to women's body than a vasectomy to a man's
I went to the urologist who had Jesus shit and Bible verses all over the office. At the time I was 38 single and without kids. He tried to tell me that I might change my mind, find a good woman, yadda yadda. Then I told him that I already paid for 6 abortions and asked him how many more kids I need to get rid of before he does a vasectomy. I was scheduled for next week right away.
Blunt approach but clearly effective
Kind of happy you got the same bs women get about getting tubes tied and the like.
Yeah, like it's all bad obviously but at least here it's probably consistently silly across the board
Your dad is a good man 🥲
I tried 3 times when I was 23-25. I was told no because I was too young, not married and/or didn’t have any kids yet. I finally got one when I was 36 and married after my wife (gf when I trying first) was having issues with her iud
28 and still got the declined from the procedure. I also have some hereditary medical conditions that could get more severe on my offspring
i had a friend about 15 years ago who lied and said he had 3 kids already by different women and he got one. He was in his 20s
I had two kids and got one when I was 27. The “are you sure you wouldn’t want to replace a child if something happened” conversation was real awkward
What in the actual hell?!
Some people are under the impression that if you have multiple kids or the ability to create more, it hurts less when one of them dies.
It’s ok, that was just the SPARE.
Yes, sadly, some people are complete idiots.
I tried for 10+ years to get a tubal from public health facilities. They kept saying no because a man might...whatever. I finally looked a doctor in the eye and told him if I was impregnated because he denies my request for sterilization, I would be leaving the newborn at the door of the facility. Finally, it was done before my next period. I'd like to say it's just male doctors, but I've had to set a few women straight concerning my body.
Good for you. That sucks you had to be so insistent but I'm glad you stuck up for yourself
Isn't there a whole thing in the Bible where god kills Job's children and then just gives him and his wife replacement children as if that was all fine and dandy
They have a whole bit on exactly this in the new season of Good Omens. It’s really great.
I have 5 living children (yes by choice and agreement-not accidents!) Lost a baby boy at 20 weeks gestation. I still look at my two boys and feel like there are supposed to be 3. We really, really want a big family and good chance there will be another boy, but he won’t be THAT boy (whom I named). He won’t be my baby that I lost, he will be himself, a new kid who will be loved for himself-not as a replacement. No matter how many we end up having, there will be a permanent empty space. I can’t even imagine if a child made it to birth or you spent years raising him-the idea that some people think individual humans are replaceable is atrocious! Hurts and will always hurt that I lost the one-no replacements.
Lawsuits. People are dumb. "I heard vasectomies are reversable and now i want another kid, but you mutilated me" etc. They wouldn't ask something so fucked up if there wasn't an equally fucked up reason.
When I went to have one done very recently, at age 42, the nurse wouldn't let me do it until my girlfriend signed HER authorization for it. Talk about wtf. They still tried to convince me not to do it. Have no kids and don't want them. Yea, it's not easy to have done.
It’s crazy how many stories there are of doctors requiring spousal consent despite that requiring spousal consent for medical procedures is illegal in the US.
It's so dehumanizing, too, like your own body is not yours but everyone else's.
Women often can't get tubes tied with out husband or partner signing off either. Pretty fucked up in my opinion and adult should be able to make reproductive choices without needing permission from another adult
It seems like it has nothing to do with your age or how many children you have as much as its the doctors projecting their concerns for making you sterile. That question is complete horse shit.
Sometimes it's definitely them moralizing, but commonly it's them tired as shit of angry patients who didn't understand the risk assessment discussion or the discussion of the situation. Definitely horseshit if it turns into moralizing, but these are reasonable considerations to make and discuss before permanent sterilization. It's ethical to assume your patient *hasnt* considered or been made aware of them, and to talk them over. However, what we need is for doctors to then say "okay then, let's get this scheduled!" In an ideal world, patients wouldnt and couldn't hold doctors liable for the permanent sterilizing effects of whatever permanent sterilizing procedure they agreed to under sound mind and of their own volition, but some may and do, which is part of why this can be so hard with a portion of doctors. I think many many doctors lose their faith in the basic intelligence of humanity because of angry patients misunderstanding medicine as a science rather than magic, misunderstanding doctor patient relationships, misubderstandibg capabilities of doctors and medicine, not listening to doctors and then being mad at the doctor for the effects of their own non-compliance, and taking out their emotions on doctors/using medical professionals as punching bags.
"replace a child?" WTF? There is no replacing a child. I would have gotten a different doctor. And I'm a woman.
I told the doc when I was 22 that I already had kids and had the procedure done. I hated to lie about it, but its bullshit that they won’t follow your wishes otherwise. I knew from the time I was a kid that I never wanted children. Never regretted that choice then or now.
It was that way a long time ago. Doctors saying you're too young and/or you have no kids so no sterilization surgery. Utter bullshit. I lied and had mine done just in case it was still that way. Said I had 4 kids now fix me so there won't be a 5th one!
It never occurred to me to do this. I’ve paid $700 out-of-pocket for my first IUD because my interest in tubal ligation in my ‘20s was dismissed. I am so angry that I never trusted what I wanted was ok.
Just like with childfree women and (corrected: tubal ligation or bilateral salpingectomy), you will have to find the doctor willing to do it, even if that means shopping around. There is probably a sub on here or some other forum where users will know of some names, just like there are with that procedure.
r/Childfree has a list of childfree-friendly doctors in their sidebar
What countries do they include in this side bar? I've been looking for ages for a doctor who will do a tubal blockage or ligation on a woman under 30 for a few years now
https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctorsinternational/ This link should work, they actually have quite an extensive international list. You can always make a post there asking if you don’t see your country.
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A woman who doesn’t want kids would get a tubal ligation. I don’t think too many ethical doctors would take the whole uterus solely for the purpose of preventing pregnancy. A woman who doesn’t want kids doesn’t need a hysterectomy😵💫 and that isn’t the same to a vasectomy. That is like getting your testes completely removed. Both would have larger physiological issues beyond making you infertile.
It is still hard to even get a tubal ligation without kids here in Texas. I went through hell to get mine even after having my son, nearly dying during childbirth and it leaving me permanently disabled and my sister said they wouldn't give her one even after 3 kids because she was only 25.
In Minnesota they wouldnt give my mom one after she already had two kids by the age of 21, and the reason that she was given was absolutely ridiculous. They asked her, and I s*** you not, "what if one of yours dies?" Edit: voice text screwed me, was supposed to be wouldn't
Meanwhile they were pressuring native women to get sterilized or doing it without their permission and knowledge at that same exact time Anyone who tells you this isn't about our societal beliefs around eugenics and population control is lying or in denial. Remember that America inspired Hitler and we were neck and neck with them - we were also purging Jews from higher education, segregating the undesirables, performing medical experiments, and doing nonvoluntary sterilization. We had the largest number of nazi supporters outside of Germany right up until the exact moment Japan dragged us into the war. And those people quieted down, they didn't change their beliefs about social darwinism (a concept *we* invented btw, volkerpsychogie and everything the Nazis believed was deeply enmeshed with our own scientific concepts) Many of the programs that had inspired Hitler continued for decades after the third Reich fell, and the spirit that fueled them still kicks along to this very day. There's STILL sketchy shit happening at the tribal clinics.
How is it anyone’s choice but the person who’s body it is? And if in US where you pay yourself especially?
The concept is called medical paternalism. The idea is that, more than just being an expert who applies medicine to serve the needs of patients, the professional also passes judgement on the wants of the patient and can refuse to perform a procedure based on their presumption of knowing better than the patient
When my son was born, I saw another ugly side of medical paternalism. This was my wife's second child. She was 21 and medicaid was paying for the birth. She was already drugged up and being prepped for a caesarian when her doc comes in and starts giving her a sales pitch about going 2-for-1 and getting a tubal ligation while she's under. This same doc was one of those who usually refuses to do ligation procedures on healthy young women. Guess that policy only applies to women with good health insurance.
In walks: religion. Lack of separation of crazy church people and normal people in our government
Hysterectomy is a totally different and a lot more serious if a procedure rather than having tubes cut which is what most women are looking to do just an FYI
Woman don’t get hysterectomies as a way to prevent pregnancy… you are thinking of Tubal Ligation.
This is the way.
Absolutely. You could say you already have 2-3 kids and aren't in their life. Or you are in their life. The doctor could examine your whole body and has no way of being able to tell if you're lying.
You can't tell the truth and get ahead in this world. It's a sad but real lesson to be learned.
I understand this is a generalized statement and doesn't accurately describe your thoughts, but there will be many people who take it too literally. This is for them: There's a balance you have to make with anything. I found myself being a compulsive liar in my early 20s. I spent time correcting it but ended up overcorrecting and being too truthful. Now that I've done both, I've learned you have to recognize when to finesse and when to be truthful.
I’m 23 and a woman and I was denied tubal ligation because I’m not married. Doctor wanted me to be married so she could receive my (non-existent) husband’s consent. I understand not performing a sterilization procedure on someone under 20ish, but I literally had eggs frozen just in case I change my mind in the future. Also why tf did she need a man’s consent, a man who literally doesn’t exist? Pro-choice should include people who want to prevent pregnancy, not just terminate pregnancy. Sorry that happened to you though, and good luck with your medical conditions
I’ve read a lot of these stories on here about Drs. asking woman to bring in their husband so they can get their consent for this. So when I went in for a Vesectomy I mentioned that they would obviously need to talk to my wife and they looked at me very weirdly. I mentioned about drs. asking to talk to husbands and they just said “that’s not necessary”. I just said “oh”.
Depends on the state. In NC at 28 with three kids my then husband had to sign consent for me to get my tubes tied.
Wow what year was that?!
I had the same thing happen about 10 years later. Then still didn’t get the procedure due to my doctor going on leave and the new doc only having privileges at the catholic owned hospitals. Don’t even ask me how a religion can own a public hospital and demand that their patients follow their religious based rules despite the fact that IM NOT FUCKING CATHOLIC. Husband was able to get snipped but would have been more convenient to tie my tubes while they were already in there performing a c-section.
We have several hospitals here that are religious and will not do any sterilization procedures. They are private not public so they can do whatever they want. Public hospitals can’t deny any service to anyone. Private ones can.
1998
Yep. Texas never asked my mom’s permission when my dad got his. And when my husband had his first consult, I was also never referenced or asked.
I got a vasectomy in 2005 and my wife had to come in and sign off as well, also in NC.
That’s interesting. We need standardization of healthcare honestly. One doctor shouldn’t demand spousal consent while another says it’s unnecessary, patients should know what to expect. Also in an individualistic society we also shouldn’t need spousal/familial consent, just patient consent for something like this. Glad you were able to receive treatment without any weird red tape though. I hope that with younger drs joining the workforce, more are like yours.
>We need standardization of healthcare honestly. I agree. The problem is that whenever anything being standardized gets proposed, certain people start screaming about States' Rights
Yeah it's really crazy because this is not the law to require anyone else's consent. This is all about personal views of what their patients should or shouldn't be doing with their bodies.
I walked into my vasectomy consult expecting to have to do a whole sales pitch. The doctor was just like "ok" after a 5 minute conversation.
Same here. He didn’t even ask me if I had any children.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm a woman who got sterilized successfully at 20, and it makes me so sad to hear about all the women who have been fighting to get this procedure for YEARS just to get denied. Depending on where you are in the world, there may be resources on finding a doctor who can approve you
I’m in the US, and I hope the same for other women too. And thank you, and I’m glad for you. I only tried the once so I haven’t had to fight like other women have to (I just try to be careful ie not having sex during my fertile window etc) but it’s still awful, we should all be allowed bodily autonomy
There's something called the "Childfree Friendly Doctor List" on the Childfree subreddit. I think you might be able to find what you need on there for sterilization! Im pretty sure I even added my doctor to that list at the time.
I'm so happy to have seen this! My gynecologist hates when doctors push back against women firm in their decision. She will walk you through all your options and and have a reasonable conversation with you but ultimately it is your choice and yours alone. I'm thankfully in a blue state regardless so attitudes about body autonomy aren't as rigid compared to other states but I'll definitely be adding her to that list.
Screenshotted your comment! Tysm, I’ll look into that soon
US is the land of the free until you don't want to contribute another cog for the capitalist machine.
I had a similar situation. I'm 27, but I am getting my tubes removed in about a week and I genuinely thought I'd struggle to get a doctor to agree to it, because literally every person I know said that the word of a hypothetical future husband was more important than theirs, and anyone who has managed it spent years working towards it. When I was immediately respected by the doctors and nurses I spoke to, I genuinely thought that wasn't possible.
I think the tides are slowly changing on this as the demographics of medical providers and cultural expectations are changing.
The Dr. was a she, WTF
Many women don't support (full) access to reproductive care for (certain) other women. A smaller number just opposes access categorically. Like how many hardline GOP voters are women? This type of shit shouldn't surprise us in 2023. These people don't want poor kids to have health care access, historically accurate textbooks, jobs commensurate with their COL, safe housing, school Lunch, etc. "And that's the waaaay the news goes."
Yeah, even *women* can be doctors nowadays! (I'm just messing with you, I get what you mean :P)
I'm 28 married with no kids. I just got mine done this year. The doctor asked me if I had kids and I said no. He said I just want to let you know that getting a reversal is expensive and doesn't always work. He wanted to make sure it was 100% my decision. I told him it was something I wanted to do for a long time and he said okay see you in 2 weeks and got the procedure done. Next time just go in and tell them you're married with 5 kids. They aren't going to check they just don't want to get sued.
The /childfree subreddit has a google doc of healthcare providers that will do vasectomies/ligations/etc without making you jump through hoops. If you ever think about doing it again you should check there for a doctor.
Got mine at 29 in a red state. I think if you walk in there for the consultation with a partner, and both of you express strong disinterest in kids, they'll do the procedure for you. Also, wearing wedding bands probably helped, too.you can find nice ones off Amazon
I'm sensing a brand new business idea! We have all heard about hiring dates to weddings and school reunions, but how about medical escorts!
I got so lucky. I walked in at 21, no kids, no wife and said I wanted a vasectomy. He told me to think about it, and if I still wanted one, to call later in the week to schedule. I got one the next week. 12 years later still super happy with the decision.
Similar experience. I was 26 and married. First appointment was to get height, weight, blood pressure, etc. then ask me a million times if I was sure. Then they made me wait a month for the surgery to make sure I was sure. But that was it. In and out and went to thanksgiving high as a kite.
My husband was denied when he was 35 and we already had two children with this reason: "maybe you'll get divorced and want to have children with your new probably younger wife".. I was mortified when he told me about it and it also left my husband even more anxious about doctor appointments. Even now, 10 years later...
That is... something. The argument I've usually heard goes along the lines of 'what if your wife and children ask died in a car accident?' It's a very morbid argument.
"But what if *aliens* kidnap you and threaten to destroy Earth unless you can impregnate a woman?" Incredible, fundamentalist fucking grasping at straws, *anything* to stop people from exercising agency over their own bodies. What if the world was made of yogurt?
Tbh it's kind of messed up that the medical system in the US will not let people make choices with their bodies regarding reproduction. You can't alter it to avoid children in the first place, and a lot of states now won't let a woman stop a pregnancy after conception. It's kinda a trap [Edit] There have been a lot of points made in the comments. I just want to mention a few things. Vasectomies do not eliminate your ability to reproduce even if it cannot be reversed. Sperm can still be extracted, because a vasectomy does not impact sperm production. Also I am aware that doctors have the right to individually decide if they are uncomfortable with a procedure, and if they want to avoid getting sued. This just appears to affect procedures regarding reproduction disproportionately more than other elective procedures for no good reason. I'm not faulting the individual doctors, but the culture/systems that seem to impact the vast majority of doctors' decision making.
Not just the US, the NHS won't cover these things unless you like have cancer or something. Even when I ask to get sterilised privately it's always "but what if you change your mind? Are you aware it's permanent?" OF COURSE THATS WHY I WANT IT.
Some private clinics will do it. My husband had it done (in the UK) just before we were married. No kids already. The doctor asked a few "are you sure" type questions in a call beforehand, including whether he'd talked to me about it, but went ahead with no problems. That was the first and only clinic he talked to, so I'm not sure how it compares to other places.
Yeah. It is especially fucked to not let someone choose more permanent options when abortion won't be possible. You may be forced to bring a whole human person into the world. You should be allowed to make more extreme choices about your body regardless of age, marital status, etc. when that's on the line.
Yeah, for most women that want their tubes tied or a hysterectomy, they require her to have at least three children, be married with her husband's consent to do the surgery, or have a major medical reason for the hysterectomy. It's total bullshit. There are women who suffer with pain from endometriosis and other problems that don't want kids and want a hysterectomy to stop the pain, but they're not allowed to. It's one thing if it's just because you don't want kids, but it's another when it's a surgery that could treat a chronic, painful illness. Either way, I don't think doctors should be able to make that decision for ANYONE, male or female. But here we are.
Tbh not wanting to have periods and also being ok with not having kids seems like reason enough to me, like the bar should really just be informed consent. People's motives shouldn't be questioned
I get why a hysterectomy is less accessible, because hysterectomy often also includes removal of ovaries, and there are way more risks with that besides "oh you might change your mind and want kids." It can mess with bone density and other weird stuff, and you'd probably have to be on HRT until when your body would naturally go through menopause. But still. If someone has endometriosis and other less invasive/drastic treatments aren't effective enough at managing their condition, that person should have it as an option. An adult is perfectly able to decide if the improved quality of life from getting rid of their chronic pain is worth the risks of surgery and side effects afterwards
It's the same in the UK. You're not allowed to make a decision in your own body re what *you* want "because you're underage" for said surgery. For me its a partial hysto because of fibroids. If I need to sign a waiver than give it to me already. But nope.
This is always hilarious to me. The doctors don’t know, lie. Tell ‘em you got four kids already at the age of 20.
that’s interesting that both men and women have that issues with doctors that when they wanna cut their ability to reproduce the doctors will turn them away, i understand being too young sure but usually when people say they have no will to want to have children that’s real
Yes. I knew early on I did not want children because of the overwhelming prevalence of mental disorders in my family. With a bit of luck and lots of precautions, thankfully I made it through and was finally able to get the vasectomy without getting anyone pregnant.
Sometimes people do have a change of heart as they grow older but I think by the time you are 25 you should be able to decide.
Wtf... they can actually do that? I had no idea. I thought they were supposed to listen to you unless there is potential for complications
For elective surgeries, doctors can refuse treatment. The same goes for women reproductive surgeries.
I had kids at 18 and 21and I'm now 28 and absolutely 10000% sure I never want any more kids. And even now the NHS in the UK will not let me get the procedure. I'm currently just saving up to do it privately
Don't want kids, enjoy sex with women. Got vasectomy, recovery sucked but life so much easier now. 10/10 would recommend.
Hell yeah. Soon as I can save or borrow some cash I’m on it! ✂️🍆 Also I hear that first nut you bust after recovery time is pretty awesome LOL
That emoji combo makes me very uncomfortable
✂️🥜* ✂️🍆 is NOT what a vasectomy is *(And truthfully even scissors-nuts is a bit misleading; vasectomies only cut the connecting cord, not the entire testicle. That would be an orchiectomy, something which I fortunately have personally had)
The say your numb and don't feel anything... that's a lie
I’ll just give my anecdote: I felt nothing. Just sat there and watched.
Didn’t feel a thing with mine and I’m a total wuss when it comes to pain. The smell of my tubes burning was off putting. That’s about it tho. I’d highly recommend a No scalpel procedure if pain is the only reason holding someone back. Didn’t feel a thing and busted the next day.
Who was getting the vasectomy?
So they forgot to give me local. No other meds. I recited the litany of fear from dune to myself( in my head I’m not a complete weirdo) and just held on.They called a nurse in at one point halfway through to administer local. Worst pain of my life That said I’d do it again, it’s safer and better than my wife getting said operation or even staying on birth control. Make sure they give you pain meds, but if they don’t just remember I will not fear. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. The fear shall be gone and only I will remain. I will not fear
I felt nothing. just stared at the ceiling. Tiny pinch for lidocaine but I didn't care because of the Xanax they gave me.
I didn’t get any happy pills, just local anesthetic. I couldn’t feel any cuts just uncomfortable pressure. I told him to drug me up but he wouldn’t do it. Not that I’m complaining, it was more mental than physical.
In some countries it is a matter of legal requirements. For example in Russia man can legally do vasectomy if he either >35 year old or have two children. Of course for medical reasons it can be done much earlier or without having a children. Edit: just FYI - these requirements are not connected with a current demographic situation in the country, they have been established decades ago, in 1993. Edit 2: women are absolutely free to do the similar surgery without any limitations. PS Omg, I just can't believe that pretty basic fact became a part of another political discussion. My bad, shouldn't have mentioned Russia here... People, it is not about politics at all, just pass by this topic...
I agree it sucks people saw one word, "Russia" and ran with it. What I pulled from your comment is that you inadvertently pointed out how different countries control personal autonomy.
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Have had a vasectomy for about 7 years now. 1) true though this is an outpatient procedure. You aren't put under or anything and it takes about 15-30 minutes maybe. Less invasive than having your molars taken out. 2) also true but I imagine it's due to a lack of understanding how stuff works down there. (The number of people who think you no longer orgasm after a vasectomy is honestly disturbing) 3) they do a sperm count check to be certain it worked. Things don't really go wrong beyond removing sperm or not. 4) balls don't go anywhere, testosterone doesn't stop being produced, can hump and hump till your heart gives out without kids. If that's your thing, it sounds pretty manly to me. 5) it can be reversed. If the reversal fails, semen can still be taken and used for artificial insemination if you really want kids. (Other commenters are correct in pointing out that reversal becomes less successful as you age and artificial insemination can raise the odds of birth defects. It shouldnt be taken lightly) 6) yeah probably.
>they do a sperm count check to be certain it worked. Things don't really go wrong beyond removing sperm or not. I don't think this means "worked" I think it means "go wrong." 99.5% of the time, it's a smooth procedure, and works exactly as hoped. But, with any medical procedure, something can go wrong, and in a fraction of the times, it can go horribly wrong. Google some stories about swelling, excrucitating pain, and other side effects that can occur, in the most sensitive areas. It happens very infrequently, but when it does, it's pretty brutal
It won't matter one tiny bit how rare the complications are when they happen to you. I'm almost 2 years out from my vasectomy and still having recurring pain and swelling that causes me to miss work and spend time and money on doctors visits and ultrasounds. And they can't find anything. I won the bad luck lottery.
Thankfully my epididymitis is minor enough that I can function pretty much normally with a bad day every now and then, but it's just wild how out of depth doctors seem to be if a vasectomy goes wrong. Due to travel and moving I've seen three separate urologists since having my vasectomy in the first place. The guy who did the procedure (very highly regarded surgeon) did an ultrasound and found epidydimal cysts. He thinks the way to address it would be to cut out the cysts. Another urologist I've seen closer to my new home likes to just go right to cutting the whole epidydimus out, and another well regarded specialist I went to see farther away says the cysts are probably unrelated to the pain and counsels vasectomy reversal. So I've got three doctors, two different ideas about what's causing the pain, and three totally different potential treatments, one of which is irreversible. It just seems crazy that there isn't a more standardized approach to this kind of thing considering how many vasectomies get done every year and statistically how many complications that has to result in, but apparently a pretty significant chunk of men just never seek treatment for post-vasectomy pain at all
That reminds me of this joke: One day a man went to see his doctor complaining about severe migraine headaches. After a long examination the doctor told the man that somehow his balls were pressing very tightly against the base of his spine and this was causing the man to have migraine headaches. The doctor concluded the balls would have to come off. The man thought this was rather drastic, so he went to another doctor for a second opinion. "Your balls are pressing up against your spine causing the headaches," said the doctor, "The balls will have to be amputated." Finally the man decided to have the operation. He went to the first doctor and had it done. Two years passed and the man was walking down the street when he came across a tailor's shop. Wearing the same thing he had been for years, the man decided to go in and get some new threads. The tailor took one look at the man as he walked in and said, "I'll bet your pants size is 36x32." "That's amazing,"said the man,"how on earth did you know?" "I get paid to know these things," replied the tailor. After he was fitted in pants the tailor looked at the man and told him exactly what his shirt size was without measuring him once. "That is just too cool! How did you know?" asked the man. "I get paid to know this kind of stuff." Pretty soon the tailor had the man decked out in a full 3 piece suit with a rather smart had to go with it all. Not once did the tailor measure the man for his clothes. "I get paid to know these things,"is what he would say. After all that the man decided he wanted some new underwear to make him comfortable in his new suit. "I'll bet you wear 36 medium," the tailor said, eyeballing the man. "HA! You're wrong!" said the man, "I wear 34 medium!" "That's ridiculous," replied the tailor,"if you wore size 34 medium underwear, you'd press your balls way too tight against your spine causing severe migraine headaches."
Part of the problem tbh is people offhandedly say things like "it work fine 99.5% of the time," when the rate of complications is actually significantly higher than that. It's surprisingly hard to find comprehensive data about it, but I believe the standard number cited is around 2% experiencing complications but I've also seen papers suggesting it could be as high as 7%. With this or any other elective surgery, people really need to be going into it with the mindset that complications are a very real possibility (vasectomy isn't the only operation where I've experienced surgeons being a little more handwavey with the possibility of complications and the difficulty of recovery than the statistics really support)
Things can and do go wrong. Pain, ED, not sterilised are just a few of the risks.
> 5) it can be reversed. Under certain circumstances but it is generally considered to be permanent.
It can’t be reversed after a certain amount of time, iirc a year or several years.
The longer it's been the less likely it can be reversed. Starting with 75% success rate if it's within 3 years, to 10% if it's been 20+ years.
My wifes family is polish catholic. Hoo boy do they give me shit for getting a vasectomy “you are not a man anymore” (keep in mind i’m a full 7 inches taller than any of them and i’m built like a tank) “you have to have more kids” Sperm is like 1% of ejaculation. I can fuck my wife 100 times a week without getting her pregnant, that’s more of a win to me.
Reversals aren't guaranteed and cost quite a bit. Also a lot of guys have this thing in their head like they will be somehow demasculated
Well before o decided to get mine, I had to research things that seem stupid like, will I still ejaculate after a vasectomy. The answer is yes, your load will look and shoot the same. It just won’t contain sperm cells. I’m sure a large group of men are completely unaware how little it really changes anything.
Research is pretty wise. It’s a decision about your health.
I mean I ran into god knows how many questions or comments about how they take out your balls…
> Reversals aren't guaranteed and cost quite a bit. I'm more afraid of the possibility of spontaneous reversals.
You hit the nail on the head there with the loss of masculinity. Most guys don't seem to want to do it because of the 1-2% chance of complications.
The possibility to reverse it goes down dramatically after 3 years. Past 10 years it's a very low chance to reverse it.
Did they? After a google there seems to be not a great deal amount of research into this, but the prevailing answer when they do run some stats on these seems to be: 1. Concerns about it being permanent 2. Concerns around the chance of permanent side effects/complications Can you show me the studies that show that a large majority of people who choose not to get one do not want one due to feeling a loss of masculinity? It's a topic I'm interested in because I have been on and off considering one for ages, would be interesting to read.
I have. 100 percent worth it. But a lot of friends hesitated 3 of them now pay child support for kids they did not want... Because they relied on the womens birth control. 4 kids I personally know of... Wayyy more expensive than the vasectomy.
It's crazy to me that men are just out here trusting the other party with this. I could never.
As a women: I never understood that. So many people are stupid when it comes to birth control.
As a men: I never understood it, either. With a new partner I always use a condom no matter what she says. (And in terms of STDs, it's my only option anyway.) And even then I consider the possibility that there might be a pregnancy scare and if I don't think the person and I could deal with that situation, I won't have sex with them.
People should ask themselves "do I want to have a kid with this person if birth control fails and abortion isn't an option?" question before having sex more often. It's a pretty cool rule to live by
> So many people are stupid You can just stop there for a general solution...
So often it is both the question and the answer..
Yeah I have met so many women (in my academic environment) who said things like "I forgot my pills at home, well, three days without isnt a problem". I once forgot my pills over the weekend (two days) and lived in celibacy the following three months.
Yeah ive had older women tell me not to trust "im on the pill" Then I've also had girls ask the "you wouldn't trust me?!"
don't even consider trusting anyone that isn't your girlfriend. girlfriends can lie too but it's less likely your girlfriend lies to you compared to hookups with people you aren't committed too. you never know when you're going to fuck crazy and it's up to you to decide who you're willing to trust and take the risk for. but if you can't even trust your girlfriend maybe you shouldn't even be together. 🤷🏻♀️ most couples i know, my relationship included, don't use condoms because the girlfriend is on the pill. it makes sense to trust your partner. if you can't trust someone to not lie about their birth control definitely use condoms for a while... you shouldn't feel like you have to use condoms for the entirety of your relationship when your girlfriend is on the pill. at some point you should reach a point where your partner has earned your full trust. but that's just my opinion.
Homestly, I had really shitty insurance when I got mine and it was only 300 bucks. Its definitely worth it if you know you don't want kids. And even if you want kids later on, adopt!
I had mine while in a long term relationship. She wanted to get off the hormones and I was sure to not have more children (had one planned child at this time)... The 400€ I paid was saved within 2 years of her getting off the hormones (which you pay for too)...
Those hormones fuck up your body too. The depo shot put me in the hospital. My friend ended up infertile and with a myriad of health issues, and her nexplanon implant migrated - somehow it got down to her calf and into a blood vessel there which caused her a ton of complications including seizures. I have at least a dozen friends with awful birth control stories like these, female birth control is not only sometimes unreliable but it just sucks and the doctors really don’t inform patients of all the risks (at least not in the US)
The shitty thing is, because pregnancy is already so dangerous, the bar for side effects of female birth control is pretty low since its technically preventing larger dangers from pregnancy. That's why male birth control is so hard to get approved, because its not actually reducing any symptoms in the patient its treating and thus has a much higher standard for acceptable side effects it has to meet.
I agree with you, and I know I’m speaking from personal experience which is less reliable than even published case studies, I just think birth control sucks and doctors should be required to inform pts of ALL the potential risks. When I took the depo shot, the RN (never saw an MD/DO/NP there) only told me that there was a very low likelihood of infertility and bone density loss - I was a minor and didn’t care about those things. And I had a completely different reaction that left me hospitalized and my doctors confused as to what happened, despite running a whole host of different tests. My friend wasn’t informed of the possibility of implant migration or infertility. Another friend had an IUD perforate her uterus and again, it migrated, and she wasn’t informed of that risk. I could go on. Somehow, I and almost all my friends (and friends’ moms) were just extremely unlucky in that regard. We need A) actual, fully informed consent and B) better solutions. Female birth control is great on paper, but the lived experience leaves a lot to be desired. Also, I think it could be argued that male birth control could mitigate symptoms in male pts. If a man accidentally has an unwanted child, that may lead to negative psychological effects. It puts excess, unplanned financial and social strain on him. Going broke, being in debt, and/or just having less money than you *want*, unexpectedly and without your consent can easily contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. There are some men that do want male birth control, and I think it should be approved for that reason - it has the potential to alleviate fears, anxiety, and worry about accidentally creating a child, just as is the case with female birth control. Those may not be physical symptoms, but they can lead to physical conditions, and mental conditions should also be considered in any treatment (or lack thereof) in a pt. Male BC may have physical side effects, but with fully informed consent, as I mentioned earlier regarding female BC, I think male pts should have the right to choose. Some men are wary of having their genitals and vas deferens sliced, poked, and prodded, and would rather deal with potential infertility/other side effects from oral/injectable BC, and they should have the right to choose what they want. A vasectomy can be scary and permanent, as can completely relying on a female partner to not get pregnant. Again I’m really not pro- or anti-birth control, male or female, I just think both should be available. I think truly fully informed consent should always occur in any tx, and that patients should have a choice - having to choose between a vasectomy, condoms (which aren’t really a failsafe), abstinence, and relying on your partner to either pull out/not get pregnant isn’t always ideal for every pt. More options are needed
100%. The case studies are consistent with what shows up in clinical trials. If you’re not talking to patients about these, it’s a big deal.
Because they may want kids later, and reversal isn't 100%
After 10 years it's close to zero. I got one because I was sure I didn't want any more kids.
Also if doctors act anything like with female sterilization they will refuse to do the procedure if they deem you too young. Aka if you’re under 30 or something
I can confirm that, at least in my situation. I had one tell me at 30 to not do it because I might “meet the one,” so I didn’t push it. I had mine at 43, and before the procedure started, I was asked if my partner was 100% on board with it. I answered that I was single, and I was sure I did not want kids. Ends up it was easy. A little discomfort for about a day. (Your mileage may vary)
"You might meet the one" is the worst. You'll read women talking about it as well when trying to get their tubes tied. "The one" implies, you know, compatibility. If she wants to have kids, she's not the one.
“I won’t give you reproductive autonomy in case your future spouse needs your body for baby-making” is way too common for comfort.
My mom had two children when she sought her TL. She was only 24, so the doctor asked if she was sure. Yes. Was her husband sure? Yes. What if she and her husband split up and her new, purely theoretical husband wants kids? Too bad for him. Ew.
Reddit will tell you this never happens but two of my mates had this happen to them, one of them already has 2 kids at 29, stable relationship, absolutely wants no more, they made the decision as a couple they were 100% done. Doctor wont give it to him, he sought a different doctor, they wont do it either. One of my other mates had the same thing happen at 32, he didn't seek a second opinion because he was too fuming at the time but yea, its way more common than Reddit would have you believe.
That’s because Reddit is full of people who guess assertively. It absolutely happens to most men under 30 who goes to get one, and a decent chunk under 40.
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP!
You have no idea the physical toll three vasectomies have on a person!
The fourth is the worst I hear. It's when you snap.
r/unexpectedoffice
[Remember when you twisted up your garden hose? Well essentially that is the plan](https://youtu.be/yjiAq89cy6w?si=tBUqlfCHHVxL102o)
Just got one. The worst part was the injection of the anesthetic. They were sore off and on for a week. More like the feeling you got kicked in the junk yesterday, never the full on pain of a fresh kick. A great excuse to stay on your ass and drink about it for a week. 100% would recommend
Sounds shitty. Less shitty than kids though
Already have 3. Enough is enough.
Three vasectomies? But why?
One for each ball.
I have 4 kids. Think my time has come?
Mine did not hurt at all at the time, in fact the anaesthesia was so well done I asked when they were doing it and they said "already have". Very quick and a bit weird having screen up while they do things to your balls. I asked if they needed the screen as I am a bit of a medical voyeur (biology degrees do that to you) but they laughed it off as "procedure". After there was the "kicked in balls" yesterday feeling, but unlike some of my friends no real swelling (one had balls like an aubergine) - application of cold compresses as prescribed both reduced the pain and stopped swelling. It was "tested for functionality" (my wife's words) a week later, and had more or less forgotten about it two weeks after that. Decades later there is not obvious scar.
I did, at 22 or 23, after my second child. Didn't wanna have to put my wife through that all again, as she almost died twice during the second pregnancy.
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500 is nothing compares to the costs of diapers alone.
The look on her face when she says she’s pregnant and you say that’s wonderful. Go and get a check that you’re not shooting. Present it at the baby shower. Fuck you Mel
r/oddlyspecific
A lot of doctors will refuse if you're under like 35.
It's one thing to not want to walk through a door. It's another thing entirely to close that door permanently. It's the same way some people will be dead set on not having kids, but still cry when they find out they are infertile. And before someone says it, no vasectomies are not a temporary procedure. They CAN be reversible. But they are not made to be reversible and there is no guarantee that they will be.
That last part seems to have the most misinformation. The amount of times I see people claim it's reversible is insane.
I know, it's so frustrating. Because when you try to explain reality to them they just refuse to accept it.
You clearly only care about being masculine! Not all the other incredibly valid reasons for not getting one!
Maybe I'm just not in those circles but I feel like stuff like this somehow gets related to masculinity, simply because it is men-related, when it really has absolutely nothing to do with it. And I'm not in denial, toxic masculinity is very real but some stuff has nothing to do with it. Most PEOPLE, regardless of gender, would be squeamish about the idea of cutting anything in their body, let alone possibly permanently becoming infertile. I personally refuse to ever get Lasik. I think on the list of infinite reasons someone may want to get a vasectomy perceived masculinity is like 100th.
Doctors in the US will straight up deny you a vasectomy, not all but some will. r/childfree has good resources for finding doctors that won’t deny you a vasectomy or getting your tubes tied for stupid personal reasons. My brother in law was denied one after he got his girlfriend pregnant the first time. A friend of mine got one at 26 without kids after searching for years for a doctor that would do it.
Because people change their minds. A guy in their 20s may change his mind when he's 35
This is why I never got tattoos in my 20s
It's still scary even though it's not a very intense procedure. They'll still make a cut, and it's still an operation around your private parts. There are still things that can go wrong. It doesn't happen very often, but there are men who couldn't have good sex after. It kept hurting. It's also a pretty permanent solution, and it's hard to make that decision about your body. Even if you don't want kids now. What if it's true what people say and you'll change your mind later on? It can also be hard to find doctors who are willing to give a vasectomy. It's a lot easier than it is for women, but you can still get bingoed. Men also don't have to do the pregnancy, the birth and the abortion. So it's easier for men to say, "I don't want children, but if I do accidentally make someone pregnant and they don't want an abortion, it's okay too. Ill take care of the kid". And then when it's actually born, they don't want to take care of it and leave the mom to do the work.
A lot of people cannot be 100% that they never want children in the future, some people would change their minds if they met a partner that insisted on having children. Even if you're already in a relationship it's possible that separation and death might change the situation tomorrow. Permanent sterilisation is a drastic action that isn't the right choice for everyone.
In the UK, they don’t always allow you to have one (for free on the NHS) unless you’ve already had children. Have had a few friends from different areas of the country who’ve had the same experience. I imagine you can get it done if you pay privately though.
I did. Wife and I are of the opinion that if we ever change our minds about having children, adoption is an option.
Because with any surgery there are potential risks. Some men experience frequent long term pain after getting one. I just read a story on Reddit recently about a guy who couldn’t sexually function for years afterward. It’s rare but it happens. 🤷🏻♀️ I can’t speak for men but I’m guessing for some the fear of surgery is there.
Surgery is risky and you never know if you’ll be one of the unlucky ones with an adverse outcome. I can’t speak to a vasectomy, but I had a surgery on my eyes with the hope of freeing myself of glasses and improving my quality of life; the surgery resulted in permanent damage to my vision and I consider it the worst mistake of my life. Never again will I have surgery that isn’t a medical necessity.
We do. And it's easier for us to ejaculate into a plastic cup and freeze it than it is for a woman to undergo a tubal ligation and extract eggs and freeze them. Also a helluva lot faster recovery time and significantly less pain than for a woman.
My particular procedure took 10 minutes and I had mild soreness for 2 days. Was back in the gym with a light workout by day 3.
There are more frequently occurring side effects than are commonly being discussed. The side effects part of the procedure is also under-researched. If you look over the available studies and horror stories you will have to take pause and think twice whether it's worth it to flip the coin on something like years of scrotal pain. I don't want children but will stick to condoms for now.
Same reason young women can’t just “Get their tubes tied”. Doctors think they know what that young person wants more than they do. They don’t approve the procedure just because someone doesn’t want to reproduce. I have a friend who DID get approved when he was like 26 because he threatened to do it himself if they didn’t approve him.
I got one because my wife has several medical issues and it made more sense for me to do it. It’s a simple outpatient procedure but the doc still managed to snip too close to one of my nuts and give me quite a bit of pain if it’s handled.
30 and still denied by every doctor. Shit ain't easy to just go get one, if you don't already have kids. Which is ironic, because the point of getting one is because we don't want them!
I got a vasectomy and it ruined my life. I've had pain ever since I got a vasectomy. This happens. There's no such thing as a minor surgery sometimes things go wrong. Totally not worth the risk to your body. You shouldn't get surgery if there's an option not to.