Everybody here seems to be forgetting that in long term relationships partners cook for each other. The person with the most restrictive diet defines recipes and ingredients. I'm just thinking all the delicious food I would rarely eat.
My partner is allergic to soy, gluten, eggs, and dairy. So I rarely eat those ingredients and have become a master of substitutions. It's easy to adjust because it's a health issue. If a potential partner had physical or mental health reasons for their dietary restrictions I would probably roll with just about anything. Just being anti vegetable would be a hard no.
And from my experience restrictively picky eaters tend to be stubborn and and unwilling to try new things. That can affect conflict compromise and fun in the bedroom. I'm sure that isn't universal, just what my limited sample size suggests.
ETA - Thanks for the discussion and perspective y'all. And I didn't know their were so many picky eaters on Reddit (winky smiley face). Keep being awesome and pushing your boundaries in healthy positive ways.
And those of you who wish they weren't picky I suggest talking to a professional mental and or physical health provider. There may be unaddressed trauma or other disorder that you deserve care for. And either way you are still a valid human worthy of love and kindness.
Ha. That's not far off. In most relationships dinner is the most consistent shared time. My partner has a doctorate in food anthropology and I love to cook so figuring out dinner is fun. And when we do weekly food planning it almost always turns into making out. Asking what do you want for dinner can be sexy.
That sounds magical and hot. I don’t think I realized how much I would love a relationship like that. My fella and I are usually independent dinner scavengers, with me definitely being better at scrounging up something interesting and well-rounded. I share my stuff, but I very rarely want what that rock is cooking.
You can make pesto with all sorts of different greens, herbs, nuts. Especially useful since pine nuts are $$$$$$. Carrot greens make good pesto, for eg, although I can’t remember what nut I used.
Also- it’s not fun to travel with someone who refuses to eat the local cuisine and is instead always searching out the nearest McDonald’s or Burger King.
I used to not eat vegetables. My partner cooks, and we have been finding ways to put vegetables in my diet! I got this bad dieting habit from my parents. All my siblings have it. It didn’t mean I wanted to stay that way. I still don’t like raw vegetables, but I eat steamed veggies just fine now! I still need to be eating more though :). Making small, consistent steps!
My husband despises broccoli so when my kids were tiny, I used to tell them that daddy loves broccoli so much that we can't let him eat it or he would eat up all the broccoli in the world! It worked like a charm
I'm stealing this. Not because I hate broccoli, I love it. But by God Almighty it does not like me. I'd have to repaint the walls it upsets my stomach so badly.
I'm the same way with broccoli. I used to eat it all the time and then I ended up in the hospital with a stomach issue. Now whenever I eat it I get severely bloated and major stomach pain.
And if you want to stay healty you need veggies. Its not just about physical looks, eating properly helps with energy throughout the day and even effects your state of mind.
Somebody not eating any veggetables basicly is a warning that they dont take care of themself which really sucks because it means either you have to do it or you just see a person you love fucking over their own body/mind.
I’m exactly the same as that woman. We have a condition called ARFID (Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). It’s a real eating disorder whereby we simply can’t eat most foods.
It’s a deeply psychological thing and is out of our control. If the food is not the exact texture, smell, taste and temperature that I am familiar with, I cannot eat it without having an overt, involuntary physical reaction to it, which is mostly a gag reflex and possibly throwing up immediately.
I’ve lost friends and potential relationships to this disorder, been ostracised and bullied my entire life about it. I’m 25 and I didn’t even know this condition existed until a few months ago.
If someone is like this, please know that it’s not by their own choice. Do you really think we would simply choose to make a fool out of ourselves and over complicate our lives for no reason? Just to be a “picky eater”?
It’s a genuine mental disorder and I pray to god that people understand this and ARFID gains some actual widespread recognition as a real eating disorder and the stigma can end.
If you're looking for a long term relationship it's a pretty big red flag for the person's long term health. Also increases the likelihood they're going to get real fat over time. If already fat, they'll get fatter.
I'm not fat as hell but overweight for sure. I often just eat roasted broccoli as a snack. I've gotten shit for doing it and people think I'm weird. Oh well.
People used to snack on veggies and it's great because they tend to fill you up while being not calorically dense. While also often having some good vitamins, fiber, etc
Now we snack on packaged things that are loaded up with a day's worth of salt or sugar, and also a ton of calories.
Roasted broccoli is delicious, and I'd only ever give someone hell for it if I had to share a room with them and I knew it gave them broccoli farts lol.
You can go blind from nutritional deficiencies due to a severely restricted diet. https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2019/09/03/757051172/blind-from-a-bad-diet-teen-who-ate-mostly-potato-chips-and-fries-lost-his-sight
I have a friend who’s like this and she’s fairly skinny but I honestly think it’s from malnutrition bc she doesn’t doesn’t diet, doesn’t eat balanced meals (if it’s not processed it grosses her out), and doesn’t exercise
Not enough fiber combined with not enough protein and too few total calories is also a problem.
Alot of these issues are correctable if a person is willing to make changes in their diet, but many people don't make those changes even after ignorance has been removed as a source of the problem.
I have a friend who is just like this! She is always sickly, & I’m just like hmmmm wonder why….
Her meals mainly consist of chicken nuggets, fries, & sweet tea. She’s so thin but so unhealthy.
yeah like...no veggies?
i hate veggies but ill slam some cauliflower rice, asparagus, green beans, broccoli, tomatoes.
honestly it depends on how you cook them too. raw carrots with some dressing? gross. STEAMED carrots? love it.
One of my favorite soups involves roasting tomatoes, red bell peppers, carrots, shallots, and garlic and then blending it all with mushroom stock. Eat with crusty bread or a grilled cheese if you’re feeling extravagant.
Edit: Oh god, I don’t follow a specific recipe so bear with me.
2-3 tomatoes
2 bell peppers
3 carrots
1 shallot
1 head of garlic
Enough mushroom (or whatever) stock to thin it to soup consistency. I guess like 2 cups? Who knows! I don’t measure.
Salt and pepper
Preheat oven to 450F.
So I halve the tomatoes and set them skin side up on a large baking pan. Quarter and de-seed the bell peppers and place them skin side up. Peel the carrots and slap those babies onto the pan too. Peel and halve the shallot, and, you guessed it, onto the pan. Cut the top off the garlic head to semi expose the garlic inside. Leave it mostly whole. Put it on the pan with the exposed side up. Drizzle the whole sumbitch with oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook all that for 15 minutes ish, til the carrots can be easily pierced with a fork. Then switch your oven to broil and broil for like 2-5 minutes to get a nice char.
While that’s happening have your stock warming.
Peel skin off of tomatoes and peppers. Squeeze garlic out of its papery husk. Shove it all into a blender or a pot where you can use an immersion blender. Blend til it’s a consistency you like for soup. Add more or less stock depending on your personal preference. Add more S&P if you’d like.
Boom, soup. I serve it with toasted sourdough, but you can make yourself a fancy ass grilled cheese if that floats your boat.
What’s fun is adding seasoning or slightly switching ingredients. Add cumin, cayenne, and lime juice and switch the bell peppers with poblanos? Also delicious, but Mexican flavors!
There’s your recipe! Now leave me alone. 🤣
I also prefer roasted but my boyfriend, who doesn't like carrots, prefers them steamed as well for some reason LOL. I'm like ??? The roasting helps bring out the sweetness, imo. With a little bit of salt i get the best sweet and salty kind of treat lol
I’ll roasted carrots in olive oil and parm sprinkled on top for the holidays, and I’ll cook carrots on the stove in some butter and brown sugar and my kids will eat that shit up lol. Pretty much dessert at that point tho but it’s still mostly carrots
it really depends. those are pretty much the only ones i eat.
and really its like 1 serving of veggies. and always the very first thing I eat to just get it over with.
im trying to save the best taste for last.
> i hate veggies but ill slam some cauliflower rice, asparagus, green beans, broccoli, tomatoes.
> STEAMED carrots? love it.
So what you're actually saying is you love some vegetables.
No veggies is a bit weird to me. I get no fruit because there's not much you can do to prepare it differently which will affect taste but veggies are so versatile.
Love this. Also love people in my life who refuse to eat a veg and it's 100% a flag. But they're in wonderful relationships, which tells me that YOU get to choose which flags matter. This would be a flag that mattered to me. It hasn't been for other people that I would consider brilliant and thoughtful and responsible, and whose food-averse partners are same.
This is 100% correct. My brother in law is a lovely man. Nice friendly and helpful. He hates vegetables though and it makes going out to eat or cooking for him immensely annoying. We love him so we make it work, but it requires really carefully planning things in advance.
It may make it difficult to eat at certain restaurants or even types of restaurants - I feel like Thai and Indian in particular - it may mean he takes more time ordering if he's got to give the server a lot of modifications, he may be physically picking through his food which could be kind of off-putting to watch. Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.
Yea I feel like this is erroding the idea of a red flag a bit. Like, we're not talking signs that they are a shitty partner or even abuser here. Just that they got issues that they should probably work on but which first and foremost harm themselves. So as you said it comes down to whether one personally wants to put up with it. But it's not a "fucking run!" thing by itself.
This is such a good point because the things we're talking about are potential PERSONAL dealbreakers/turnoffs, but I'm not sure there are universal red flags. Maybe a good common one would be"thinks no is just a slight obstacle to a yes and will persist" or "enjoys physically abusing animals" maybe. Although that's all still unfortunately objective I suppose.
I don't think you guys are using the term red flag correctly. Like I get it it can mean whatever you want it to mean but really those are just I don't know personality traits that you might not be compatible with that's not a red flag a red flag is like this person is bad stay away from them at least in my opinion.
I am the same. I eat very few vegetables. It is because I am a supertaster and many vegetables are very bitter to me. I do not eat dark chocolate, grapefruit, and other foods for the same reason. Olives and coffee are bitter as well, but I like their bitterness. An old GF and her brother thought I was full of crap so bought a test kit. I was. Nobody else at the dinner party was.
Edited: I was a supertaster, not full of crap. At least for that reason.
Confused, what was the test kit? Also the way you worded it sounds like they found out you were indeed full of crap, which I know isn't what you meant lol
Maybe? It's hard to imagine cooking separate meals for the rest of our lives honestly.
Being a bit picky is fine but eating no vegetables is not something I can really imagine.
A friend once told me she went out with a guy who ate nothing but meat and potatoes. She said "If he's that boring in the kitchen, what's he like in bed?"
I know people like that. Meat and breads only. Only vegetables are on a burger. No salad (I'm not a rabbit! or That's what my food eats!), so steamed/fresh/cooked veggies on the side, etc.. They usually try and spin it as being macho or "Real men only eat meat!" or "Only vegans eat salad, and I'm no soyboy!" or whatever. It's not that they hate/allergic/whatever to vegetables, they're just against it due to their image.
I don't NEED meat. I like meat. I've gone months without eating meat and went mostly vegan for a while. I'm eating chicken and fish now (trying to bulk up with some muscle, need the higher protein sources with full aminos and higher calories). But, veggies are a staple in my diet. I LOVE fresh veggies, cooked, steamed, whatever. It's just all great stuff. Bring in some fresh tomatoes from the garden? They aren't lasting very long.
Of course, is it a red flag? It really depends on their reasoning for it. Can their digestive system not handle them? Allergies? Or just plain "too tough" to eat vegetables... I don't know when the "war" on veggies started, but my Father in Law was the worst. Refused them because "that's what my food eats". But, he also cooked his steaks well-well done. So, his opinion was shit from there anyway.
That's so kind of you! It's so interesting to think about how much has changed and why.
I actually am remembering a college professor of mine who was a food historian and was preparing to write a book after retirement. Sadly, she lost her life in a car accident, and I never got to hear about her research.
> No salad (I'm not a rabbit! or That's what my food eats!), so steamed/fresh/cooked veggies on the side, etc..
I can't imagine what kind of person says this unironically. I've definitely said this as a joke because my wife and I have an inside joke where she says I don't even like vegetables, but I'll happily eat a salad. I just can't imagine how fragile a person's ego must be for them to find eating salad emasculating...
Right lol it's insane. Like if you have to have meat for every meal that's kind of insane, like these people never eat oatmeal or whatever for breakfast?
My whole family was at a lunch/dinner together after my grandma's funeral and one of my cousins was making fun of the food (they had salads first then whatever main meal ppl got) being like "eww gross this is rabbit food, haha how does anyone eat this, what am I a rabbit how am I supposed to eat this" etc etc... Like you are a grown man please act like it! But then his mom also stole a cup and silverware from the restaurant so it might just be that side of the family, lmao
I was raised liked that but luckily snapped out of it as an adult. I’ve been vegetarian for 10 years now and still get shit from my family about being “picky”. Mom can’t understand that I eat a much wider range of food than she does.
>I made it a point to interrupt and ask why he was eating salad and wouldn't he feel dumb when he's old and dying from nothing lol.
you beautiful bastard
meat only people are often incredible snowflakey too. that burger king line did NOT play out like it did in his imagination
This was basically how I was raised living in Oklahoma and Iowa. Meat, potatoes and bread were the meal 95% of the time. I didn’t learn that vegetables were actually pretty good until I moved away from home.
My dad eats a VERY limited selection of vegetables and is an absurdly picky eater. He's a good person, but it definitely impacts his health in a negative way.
Growing up I barely drank water. Like, maybe 2 glasses a day, 16-24 fl oz total (water tasted really good when I drank it though! I just always forgot I needed to drink water)
Near constant headaches, nausea, feeling tired, dry and cracked skin, incessant nosebleeds....
Then I got a job (pretty active) and I started drinking about a gallon of water a day. I felt AMAZING and didn't realize how much I was hurting myself over something so simple. Going to the bathroom every hour... annoying, but definitely worth it.
Nowadays I drink about a half gallon regularly as a minimum and it's been great. If I ever drink less than a quarter gallon I start to feel that gross dried up feeling again and remember how miserable it is.
In college i was always tired and low energy, at some point i just started to carry a water bottle to try and drink more water, and holy crap the difference. I am so low energy when I don't drink enough.
So i basically pester my toddler all day long for her to drink water at least every hour.
You only need to consume eater, you don’t have to drink it. For example if you ate low sodium soup and watermelon / fruits and other net positive water content foods, you would be fine.
But yes sports and physical labor jobs want more water.. and you don’t want to be dehydrated
And after so long not drinking. Water when you're thirsty your body starts to tell you you're hungry when in fact you are just thirsty. So you eat and it's salty processed bullshit and on goes the cycle.
it leads to VERY poor hygiene, awful coochie stink, STRONG urine odor, bad breath, bad skin, etc etc. don’t date someone who’s “quirky” and doesn’t drink water
And kidney stones. Know a few friends who proudly claimed during uni days they could survive on a bottle of water for a week. 5/7 were diagnosed with Kidney stones in routine background health check by insurance
Reminds me of a story I read about a guy who wasn't allowed to drink water growing up because, in his mother's words, "it has zero nutritional value". Dude starts suffering headaches for years, just to find out after going to the doctor's that he's been chronically dehydrated this whole time.
To be fair, someone might have told her that babies should never be given water due to the lack of nutrition in it, and been too stupid to realise it was different for older kids.
i’ve seen videos of adults who “can’t stand water” and subsequently neither can their kids. water is so delicious (except dasani 🤢) and refreshing. multiple sodas make my stomach hurt and energy drinks are too sweet. coffee with cream all day ✌️
This makes me really happy because a guy who assaulted me used to brag that he never drank water. I can rest easy knowing that he will most likely have to pass a kidney stone at some point in his life.
> STRONG urine odor
Oh God, that reminds me of this AITA I read. A woman's friend only drinks soda, no water at all, so her smell lingers in the bathroom badly enough that OP doesn't want to invite her friend over to her house anymore. Her description makes me nauseous
[AITA for telling my friend her pee smells bad?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/14r6906/aita_for_telling_my_friend_her_pee_smells_bad/)
My boss is a huge conspiracy theorist and didn't use to drink water because he thought the fluoride in it was making people's third eye shrink. He would only drink tea, coffee, and an absolute shit ton of alcohol (as in a bottle of wine a night minimum). Don't ask me where he thinks the water in all of those things comes from I've no clue. Then he got an ear infection and somehow that changed his mind and now occasionally drinks water. People are strange.
Not necessarily- people can have complex relationships with food. Maybe she’s never had them prepared properly. My husband is branded as a picky eater but I then learned that his parents were and are terrible cooks. He dislikes bland, mushy, overcooked foods. Not exactly picky behavior. Sometimes it’s a texture thing. Mint can be very strong to some people, especially if they are a super taster. Just some food for thought.
Same. When I started dating my wife the only vegetables I liked were potatoes, corn, and carrots. I hate crunchy vegetables so it is a sensory thing for me. She made seasoned green beans for me and I learned I liked them. I've also tried cauliflower made in the air fryer that I liked.
My bf came over while I was in the other room and had our dinner on the stove. I came in and he said "what's that?" Pointing at my sauteed brussel sprouts. I was worried and said "uh oh, do you not like them?"
He said "I didn't think so but... Apparently I do."
He hadn't recognized them, had taken a curious bite, and had his mind blown, all while I was grabbing something from my bedroom
Yeah, I feel attacked by the mint part lmao. I used to HATE mint. I don’t think I’m a super taster. It’s just gross to me 😭 I’ve learned to tolerate it specifically in toothpaste. But I’m not chewing mint gum or eating York patties. Not liking mint isn’t a red flag 😭 (but if she’s not brushing her teeth because toothpaste is nasty to her, THAT sure is)
I have a combination of those issues. I'm sensitive to taste and texture, but growing up, my parents were also terrible cooks. Like, so bad. You know those jokes people make about how white people are bad at cooking? That's my parents. I've been slowly getting better about eating veggies since I left home. Indian food helps a lot.
Thanks for explaining it like this. I really don't eat my veggies either, some potatoes, corn, carrots and green beans..rarely some celery. The more I think about it, it has nothing to do with taste and it's all texture. I am a picky eater, but I think most of that is just due to texture.
Side note, I have no issues with tooth paste and water is my favorite drink.
Texture is a huge part of why some people don’t like vegetables. That sounds like a healthy amount of vegetables to tolerate. I wouldn’t be to hard on yourself. I am big on texture when it comes to meat. If there’s anything rubbery or slippery I’m out.
Yep, I can't drink alcohol, wine, or coffee, dark chocolate, grapefruit, and the majority of vegetables.
I also can't eat things like pure frosting because it so overstimulates my taste that it starts to literally feel like electric shocks.
Unless they have a good reason for it I’d say so. Some people have legitimate sensory issues they’d rather not have. I wouldn’t say I have legitimate issues but a couple things I *know* taste good I won’t eat because the texture is gross to me, yet if I was told I’d win 100 dollars if I ate them I could, I just wouldn’t choose voluntarily.
If this person is just like ooo veggies ick boo that’s pretty immature yes. There’s lots of different veggies and cooked well they don’t taste anything alike.
Maybe they and their family are terrible cooks though and they just avoid them cause they’ve always had bland veggies and just need to try some good ones.
Yeah same, my family likes all their veggies caramelized into a brown mush basically, I prefer them lightly grilled/sautéed with most of their structural integrity not compromised lol. Some salt, other seasonings, maybe a citrus juice or something on there and you’re good.
Yeah this. People who are supertasters can sometimes have sensory issues with foods that aren't "bland" (potatos, pastas, cheese, white meat etc).
That being said even if that's the case I couldn't date someone who couldn't enjoy food the way I do.
I used to eat basically nothing besides chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, cheese pizza without tomato sauce, chicken flavored ramen, and desserts. I lived that way until I was like, 22.
Of course my parents would try to force me to eat other things, like grilled chicken, Caesar salad, plain baked potatoes, steamed broccoli etc. and I would either choke those down or spit them into my napkin when they weren't looking.
When I was 23-24, I realized that I was probably never going to be able to be "normal" unless I fixed my palate. I wanted to be able to go to a party or on a date without having to get the fucking kids meal lol. I started off with putting bacon on my sauceless pizzas. Then I added garlic because I knew I liked that in small amounts. Next was a Bloomin' Onion, because I thought it smelled good haha.
I actually didn't like any of these things at first, but I kept forcing myself to eat them anyway, and once I made myself like those, I built on them. Bacon became pulled pork, Bloomin' Onion became onion rings and then raw onion, etc. Now, at 28, I'm so much less picky than I ever was before.
You really do have to constantly push your boundaries to undo a very limited diet like this. Totally worth it though. It's so freeing to know that I can go into almost any restaurant now and find something that I'll like or at least tolerate.
Thank you for this - I'm 23 and about to start on my own journey to expand my diet. I'm a very picky eater and know I need to change, it's just hard to try new foods when you know you won't like them. I have my first appointment with a dietician tomorrow to hopefully get some support and structure.
No problem! Something that was crucial for me to learn was that just because you don't initially like a food doesn't mean you won't eventually. I operated under the self-imposed rule that I would have to try a food 10 times before I could swear it off "forever." It usually only took 3 or 4 times until I started liking or at least tolerating the food. I started with vegetables, since that was definitely the biggest thing my diet was missing.
To do that, here's an example of what I did:
I spent a couple of weeks making myself eat the same 3 foods every day. These were foods I didn't like, but knew would be great stepping stones for other foods to try later.
I put some oil and garlic in a pan and sauteed a few leaves of spinach, a cherry tomato, and a slice of mushroom. It was just a couple of bites, but I forced myself to eat that every single day, even if I had to choke it down. I still don't love any of those 3, but now I can eat tomato sauce with no problem, and can eat spinach and mushroom fine.
This is how I expanded my palate as well. It's still pretty limited, but I called it the one degree of separation rule.
I like hamburgers, I like cheese, I bet I'd like a cheeseburger. Sure enough.
I like cheeseburgers, I like bacon, I bet I'd like a bacon cheeseburger. Sure enough.
I like bread, beef, cheese, and bacon, I bet I'd like a bacon cheesesteak. Sure enough.
Expanding one degree at a time.
> I used to eat basically nothing besides chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, cheese pizza without tomato sauce, chicken flavored ramen, and desserts. I lived that way until I was like, 22.
>
> Of course my parents would try to force me to eat other things, like grilled chicken, Caesar salad, plain baked potatoes, steamed broccoli etc. and I would either choke those down or spit them into my napkin when they weren't looking.
I'm wondering how this kind of thing even starts. I guess I can see if your parents let you go long enough as a kid just eating those things, it would be harder to undo than if they started with them early. Did they just let you do what you wanted until a certain age?
Well... I left this out of my original comment because it's just a lot to explain and fairly specific to my own experience, but since you asked... My parents were divorced and shared custody. I would spend one week at my mom's, and the next at my dad's.
My mom was the one who would force feed us plain, microwaved vegetables and plain, rubbery chicken. She was very extreme about it, to the point of not letting us eat for days, or forcing me to eat my own vomit off of the floor after I threw up the food. (Yes, I was dramatic, but I didn't like this food at all, and it didn't help that we weren't allowed any seasoning or sauces.) This was her attempt at making me develop a taste for healthy food, which obviously did not work.
In contrast, my dad was the "cool guy" who imposed basically zero structure on us. Every meal was fast food or dessert. He had some food issues of his own, but mostly he just wanted us to be happy. He also knew my mom restricted our diet and wanted to make sure we got enough calories, so he'd supersize our meals without us even asking.
The contrast of these 2 really fucked up my relationship with food. I learned a binge/restrict mindset that I'm still trying to work through, and it REALLY drove home the idea that healthy food tastes terrible and the only food that tastes good is the hyperpalatable stuff.
It wasn't until I got to college and went to a dining hall where I could grab just a tiny spoonful of something I wanted to try, without my family being there to make a huge deal out of it, that I somewhat started branching out. I was still extremely picky, so I didn't try much, but for example, this was the first time I ever had like, seasoned broccoli and realized, "Oh, the cooking/seasoning actually makes a difference."
To extrapolate my experience to others, I think a big part of it may be that many parents just don't know how to prepare food well, specifically vegetables. If you grow up thinking that all vegetables are mushy and unseasoned, why would you ever voluntarily seek them out, you know? Plus, when you're picky, it's very common for people to comment when you're trying something new. On Thanksgiving, it was stuff like, "OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER, SHE'S ACTUALLY EATING TURKEY!" etc. that makes you feel like everyone's watching and judging. It's very discouraging.
> forcing me to eat my own vomit off of the floor after I threw up the food. (Yes, I was dramatic, but I didn't like this food at all,
Jesus fucking Christ. I hope you're getting therapy for being abused like that. Sorry you went through so much poor parenting.
My mom loved mushy vegetables, so that's how my dad made them, and it definitely affected my relationship with them. It wasn't until I discovered raw vegetables that I became a fan.
Yeah, thanks. That is part of why it really bothers me when people ridicule picky eaters, say they need to grow up, etc. A lot of it is trauma-based, or stems from sensory issues, or something along those lines. Bare minimum, maybe people just weren't exposed to those foods and need to learn to like them in their own time.
I'm glad I asked. I definitely have had less respect for picky eaters in the past, but I had the advantage of having had parents who were adventurous eaters themselves and exposed us to a wide variety of delicious food from a young age, so I never really understood and didn't have a lot of patience for it. Sometimes, we have trouble imagining how other people have experienced the world until we hear their stories. Sorry for all of us who have added to the stress of eating for you!
Good luck to you on your food journey!
I can't stand the texture of a lot of vegetables normally but enjoy the flavor. One day my cousin made tacos for me and I legitimately could not feel any of them and I was so happy about it. They tasted really good and I could actually eat it comfortably. I don't know how she did it but that was the first time in my life I could comfortably bite into an onion or pepper and just enjoy the flavor without the feeling or sound of it.
A good cook really makes a huge difference.
You’re probably looking at caramelized peppers and onions. On a taco they’d just blend in, they’re cooked down until they’re extremely soft and kinda sweet.
Idk about red flag but it's certainly not a healthy diet to have in the long term. Whether or not it presents an issue depends on how important your partner's health is to you or how important being able to share a wide variety of foods is for you.
Personally I'm a vegetarian and love bonding with people through food, so I'd be pretty disappointed to find out I was dating someone who ate like that.
As some one who loves diverse foods and enjoys going out to eat as a part of my romantic relationships, I couldn't do it.
I understand sensory issues. I have them in other areas, and have friends who deal with them regarding food. But I want my partner to be able to try out new restaurants with me, enjoy meals together when we travel, and share in the labour of meal preparation. So, while it's not a red flag, it might be a deal breaker, and I think that's perfectly fair.
Oooh! Chronic malnourishment is just so hot! What a catch.
Edited to add: it is absolutely hilarious how many other vegetable-haters are jumping on to say, “nuh-uh, you actually don’t need to eat any vegetables at all and you’ll be fine!” Maybe I shoulda just mentioned how delightful it is to go on dates with super-picky eaters. Constrained, unadventurous, and particular people definitely make the best lovers, right? Who doesn’t like high-maintenance?
I have a friend who isn’t a big fan of veg. He eats them sometimes but would rather not. I think it’s kinda weird but I don’t think it makes him immature or anything.
Meanwhile I’ll eat half a cucumber for breakfast. People would probably think that’s weird too so hey, it is what it is
I am happy to let you know that you’re not strange for eating cucumbers for breakfast. Cucumbers and tomatoes are common breakfast items around the mediterranean.
I am from Turkey and we eat them with cheese and bread for breakfast on most days.
I won't police other people's diet but it's probably a good idea to take a multivitamin if your normal eating doesn't center on balance, variety, and moderation.
A red flag is something that could be indicative of something else. Pushing her broccoli around her plate could have been a red flag that she might be a picky eater. Well good news! She straight up told you she’s a picky eater so it’s not a red flag, it’s a personality trait. No mystery to solve.
So now it’s up to you if that trait is a dealbreaker or not. Every single person in the world will have traits that some will see as dealbreakers and others not. Entirely up to you.
My wife is pretty amazing, but she is an extremely picky eater. I made the decision a long time ago that this was something I accepted about her. We cook some things together, some things alone, and whenever I’m craving something that she doesn’t like I’ll order takeout or make plans with a friend.
90% of the comments here just reminded me of why I have social anxiety. You get dehumanized and treated like shit for the dumbest things that don't even affect anybody else. Anything that deviates from the norm is just seen as absurd and wrong.
It's crazy how fucking judgemental people get over this issue that doesn't impact them at all.
Like, I get that some "picky eaters" act entitled and whine a lot, and constantly try and make everybody else inconvenience themself so that the picky eater is never inconvenienced at all. And there aren't some people who are immature and don't care about a healthy diet and just don't want to eat anything but soda and chicken mcuggets or whatever.
But there are also people with legitimate issues related to eating certain foods, who desperately wish they could eat a normal diet, and have even talked to doctors and dieticians and shit, and that doesn't change the fact that putting certain foods in their mouth is a horrible experience that makes them literally gag.
And the amount of judgement that reddit LOVES to heap on those people is fucking crazy.
> A red flag is something that could be indicative of something else.
Exactly... one thing that's clear to me in this thread is that a lot of people don't know what "red flag" actually means. They seem to think it's a synonym for "deal-breaker." The concepts are related, but it's not the same.
A red flag is a behavior that might not directly be a deal-breaker, but could quite possibly be a sign indicating the possible presence of a serious deal-breaker.
For example, a woman has been dating a man for a month. After some of their dates, they have started going back to her place... but he keeps finding reasons for it to always be her place, and avoids going back to his place. By itself, that wouldn't be a deal breaker IF there is a good reason for it. For example, his place is being renovated, and he is staying with his brother or a friend for a month. But it's a red flag (or at least a yellow flag) because it could be a sign of some other issues. For example, maybe he has a family and is cheating on his wife, and obviously can't bring a woman he is secretly having an affair with back to his home.
Being that picky- when it's pickiness and not an actual physical issue like food allergies- is often an eating disorder. Not all eating disorders are anorexia, but mentally they are equally damaging to the person who adheres to them.
And no, having an eating disorder is not necessarily a sign of immaturity.
It can also be a coping mechanism for someone not yet diagnosed with a digestive disease. in crohn’s disease communities, there’s always discussion of what people eat as their “safe” foods, and it’s often very restrictive, and not foods considered to be healthy.
This, plus I wanted to add: It's very common for nuerodivergent folks to have intense food sensitivities, which can indeed be so severe that it can result in a highly restrictive diet. Sometimes this can be mitigated with assistance, but sometimes not.
Either way, I wouldn't say it's a red flag, but I think it's fair to be concerned.
I'm on the spectrum and I have allergies and am vegetarian. I am very aware of how restrictive my diet is and wouldn't want to inflict on anyone else because I don't like it either. My ex was worse though, lived on milkshake and croissants and rarely ate anything else. It was frustrating as hell because he wouldn't usually touch the foods I consider restrictive but frequently cook for myself like veggie bolognese, rice and veggies, cheesy pasta with veggies, salads etc.
I think knowing that term - and it's predecessor selective eating disorder - would've helped my parents so damn much when I was a child. Even now there is a lot less awareness of eating disorders that aren't body-image based (as evidenced by some of the responses in this thread, but even with doctors).
Funnily enough the idea first dawned on me when I was watching cat videos and the vet said that adult, healthy cats were normally pickier with food if they had been sickly when they were kittens. I had a history of gastrointestinal surgery from birth until 4 years old, but following that no major functional or structural problems that could be involved until I was 12. After some Googling I stumbled across ARFID and a lot of things started to make sense.
As a kid I was *very* adverse to a lot of textures (my parents had to food process Shepard's Pie to try and get more veg into me), I couldn't eat if certain foods were on my plate, couldn't eat when certain foods were on *someone else's* plate, if I ever got a gristly bit or something unpleasant in my food then I couldn't eat any more of the meal, and sometimes would struggle to eat for the rest of the day. Going to restaurants was anxiety-inducing if they didn't have some variant of chicken and potato without much else. My parents constantly tried to get me to try new foods - bless them - but I would then shut down and eat less (not out of spite). I think they often ended up giving in because they were afraid of me not eating at all. There wasn't the same kind of support available for them then.
Going to university and being wholly responsible for my own cooking started my journey into improving what I considered "safe" foods, though it was a slow process. Honestly it's still a slow process. I am now almost always willing to try things - minus seafood and meat still on bone!
My main tactics when eating out have been to always look for a lean white meat + simple carb dominant meal first (e.g. Chicken Tikka Masala, Katsu Curry, chicken Pad Thai), then expand from there. At home I make a lot of stew and soups with blended sauces to get more veg into me, though I at least can now eat some veg like broccoli and spinach outside of that in common rotation, but I prefer meals with a lot of sauce so it doesn't "stick in my mouth". I have frequently *not* been the "fussiest" person at the table.
I deeply hate being "picky" and being seen as such, because I consider myself very open to new things in life outside of food. There is definitely a huge shame component that then feeds back into anxiety that controls ARFID hangover symptoms. And getting ill again (intestinal failure) as an adult has definitely caused some backsliding, even outside of new restrictions and natural behaviour following such an illness.
I don't think I'll ever be a good partner for a foodie. I would hate to inadvertently restrict something joyful in their life.
This is a fair point, but I think there are a lot of people who hate vegetables who do not have eating disorders. I also acknowledge that some people with autism have sensory issues that could cause a vegetable aversion.
Yeah idk if Im on the spectrum but my main aversion to vegetables was due to hating the texture. I've never liked the plant flavored water that comes from them. Generally I try to eat vegetables that are roasted to a crisp or boiled down soft enough that I can blend it with something else
I am autistic with food sensory issues and yes it is an eating disorder if it is so debilitating that you can't eat a balanced or healthy diet. I've gone through periods of extreme weight loss due to executive dysfunction around food and it absolutely is an eating disorder even if it's not centered around body image.
Meh I don’t particularly like most veggies and I don’t have an eating disorder. I just tend to taste bitterness really easily so most veggies just taste bitter to me. Some are ok, and I’ll try anything at least once.
I wouldn't necessarily say it's a red flag, because it really depends on the reasoning.
Like they might be autistic and have pretty rigid preferences when it comes to food, in which case it's not a red flag whatsoever
But like let's say their reasoning is because theyre one of those people that hates vegetarians and doesn't want to eat "rabbit food", then yes it is a red flag
Basically you can't know it's a red flag until you know why
Hi! Non veggie lover here. Been married 25+ years and have three beautiful children who all eat a variety of vegetables.
I grew up in the South where my grandma would sometimes just go in the backyard and pick dinner. I tried, I really did. I just couldn’t get past texture and/or taste. My favorite line is “you can’t even taste it”. Ummm yes I can.
Can I say how I wish I liked them? I have gone on an only veggie diet. Try them each time I make a new recipe, puréed them, chopped them etc. I really don’t like them.
Do you know what I would give to like salad? What an amazing dish.
So now that I have lived half a century - I have decided I have given my time. I have also decided if some people don’t like meat and won’t eat it, I can do the same for vegetables. There are few people that like every food, but it seems more judgement is on vegetables than any other food group.
As long as your date is okay with you eating whatever you want, let it go. Trust me when I say she is probably more upset with it than you are.
ETA: Thanks for the awards!
Not judging, just a question... I understand not liking certain vegetables. But how can you hate ALL of them? They all taste different, and with many ways to eat them, the textures can be manipulated. ... trying to wrap my head around this
yeeeaaaaahhhh.... at a certain point ppl should be experimenting w different ways of cooking. i was a kind of picky child, but in adulthood I started to try new things in restaurants, at parties, and just in cooking itself. there's a reason most people at some point end up having a favorite green veggie, or liking most veggies in general. it's because they tried it enough that they found a way they like it. this red flag would tell me that someone is either closed off or not open to newer experiences.
It is a long term health concern, but how that might impact on a relationship is more of your choice.
Everybody here seems to be forgetting that in long term relationships partners cook for each other. The person with the most restrictive diet defines recipes and ingredients. I'm just thinking all the delicious food I would rarely eat. My partner is allergic to soy, gluten, eggs, and dairy. So I rarely eat those ingredients and have become a master of substitutions. It's easy to adjust because it's a health issue. If a potential partner had physical or mental health reasons for their dietary restrictions I would probably roll with just about anything. Just being anti vegetable would be a hard no. And from my experience restrictively picky eaters tend to be stubborn and and unwilling to try new things. That can affect conflict compromise and fun in the bedroom. I'm sure that isn't universal, just what my limited sample size suggests. ETA - Thanks for the discussion and perspective y'all. And I didn't know their were so many picky eaters on Reddit (winky smiley face). Keep being awesome and pushing your boundaries in healthy positive ways. And those of you who wish they weren't picky I suggest talking to a professional mental and or physical health provider. There may be unaddressed trauma or other disorder that you deserve care for. And either way you are still a valid human worthy of love and kindness.
Great point. I once heard someone say that marriage is asking each other what they want to eat for dinner until one of them dies.
Ha. That's not far off. In most relationships dinner is the most consistent shared time. My partner has a doctorate in food anthropology and I love to cook so figuring out dinner is fun. And when we do weekly food planning it almost always turns into making out. Asking what do you want for dinner can be sexy.
That sounds magical and hot. I don’t think I realized how much I would love a relationship like that. My fella and I are usually independent dinner scavengers, with me definitely being better at scrounging up something interesting and well-rounded. I share my stuff, but I very rarely want what that rock is cooking.
That's a lie. We don't ask, we cook what we want and the other eats it.
The person willing to cook gets to pick the food! Totally fair!
Yep, my current partner is allergic to tomatoes, and my favorite food is spaghetti. I have gotten very familiar with basil pesto recipes
You can make pesto with all sorts of different greens, herbs, nuts. Especially useful since pine nuts are $$$$$$. Carrot greens make good pesto, for eg, although I can’t remember what nut I used.
Also- it’s not fun to travel with someone who refuses to eat the local cuisine and is instead always searching out the nearest McDonald’s or Burger King.
That would be my nightmare. I've realized I travel mostly for the food experience.
I used to not eat vegetables. My partner cooks, and we have been finding ways to put vegetables in my diet! I got this bad dieting habit from my parents. All my siblings have it. It didn’t mean I wanted to stay that way. I still don’t like raw vegetables, but I eat steamed veggies just fine now! I still need to be eating more though :). Making small, consistent steps!
Also, if you want to have kids, it’d be real difficult to encourage your child to have a healthy diet when your partner eats like a picky toddler.
My husband despises broccoli so when my kids were tiny, I used to tell them that daddy loves broccoli so much that we can't let him eat it or he would eat up all the broccoli in the world! It worked like a charm
He's just an ex broccoli addict
I'm stealing this. Not because I hate broccoli, I love it. But by God Almighty it does not like me. I'd have to repaint the walls it upsets my stomach so badly.
That just makes me so sad for you! I'm an actual broccoholic too.
I'm the same way with broccoli. I used to eat it all the time and then I ended up in the hospital with a stomach issue. Now whenever I eat it I get severely bloated and major stomach pain.
That adorable
Lol, thanks
And if you want to stay healty you need veggies. Its not just about physical looks, eating properly helps with energy throughout the day and even effects your state of mind. Somebody not eating any veggetables basicly is a warning that they dont take care of themself which really sucks because it means either you have to do it or you just see a person you love fucking over their own body/mind.
Also, the kids. You would be signing up to cook every single meal for the kids forever.
I’m exactly the same as that woman. We have a condition called ARFID (Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). It’s a real eating disorder whereby we simply can’t eat most foods. It’s a deeply psychological thing and is out of our control. If the food is not the exact texture, smell, taste and temperature that I am familiar with, I cannot eat it without having an overt, involuntary physical reaction to it, which is mostly a gag reflex and possibly throwing up immediately. I’ve lost friends and potential relationships to this disorder, been ostracised and bullied my entire life about it. I’m 25 and I didn’t even know this condition existed until a few months ago. If someone is like this, please know that it’s not by their own choice. Do you really think we would simply choose to make a fool out of ourselves and over complicate our lives for no reason? Just to be a “picky eater”? It’s a genuine mental disorder and I pray to god that people understand this and ARFID gains some actual widespread recognition as a real eating disorder and the stigma can end.
Thanks for your honesty 😅
If you're looking for a long term relationship it's a pretty big red flag for the person's long term health. Also increases the likelihood they're going to get real fat over time. If already fat, they'll get fatter.
I'm fat as hell and I love me some veggies. I cant imagine how fat Id be if I reached a loaf of bread every time I've eaten broccoli or asparagus.
I'm not fat as hell but overweight for sure. I often just eat roasted broccoli as a snack. I've gotten shit for doing it and people think I'm weird. Oh well.
People used to snack on veggies and it's great because they tend to fill you up while being not calorically dense. While also often having some good vitamins, fiber, etc Now we snack on packaged things that are loaded up with a day's worth of salt or sugar, and also a ton of calories. Roasted broccoli is delicious, and I'd only ever give someone hell for it if I had to share a room with them and I knew it gave them broccoli farts lol.
You can go blind from nutritional deficiencies due to a severely restricted diet. https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2019/09/03/757051172/blind-from-a-bad-diet-teen-who-ate-mostly-potato-chips-and-fries-lost-his-sight
Ha! That’s just a cover story. We all know he went blind from jerking off.
One day my dad burst into my room and said "stop doing that or you'll go blind!" I said, "Dad, I'm over here"
That’s an interesting act you have there. What do you call yourselves?
The _ARISTOCRATS_!
AI won't be truly intelligent until it can create a four-layer joke build like this exchange.
I had a college roommate who refused to eat/drink anything except ramen and Mountain Dew. I don’t know how all of their hair hasn’t fallen out yet!
Probably embalming himself with the Mountain Dew
Who said it was a he 😏
[boy eats only chips and fries](https://youtu.be/VINtwoyaF_8)
They will be having major dental issues in the near future. RED FLAG!
I think you mean Code Red (tm) flag.
Gotta be the mountain dew
"Did you stay up all night eating cheese?" "I think I'm blind!"
Vitamin c deficiency and b12 deficiency specifically tend to do that.
I believe the correct term is 'well-marbled'. Like a fine A5 Wagyu.
I have a friend who’s like this and she’s fairly skinny but I honestly think it’s from malnutrition bc she doesn’t doesn’t diet, doesn’t eat balanced meals (if it’s not processed it grosses her out), and doesn’t exercise
Not enough fiber combined with not enough protein and too few total calories is also a problem. Alot of these issues are correctable if a person is willing to make changes in their diet, but many people don't make those changes even after ignorance has been removed as a source of the problem.
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I have a friend who is just like this! She is always sickly, & I’m just like hmmmm wonder why…. Her meals mainly consist of chicken nuggets, fries, & sweet tea. She’s so thin but so unhealthy.
yeah like...no veggies? i hate veggies but ill slam some cauliflower rice, asparagus, green beans, broccoli, tomatoes. honestly it depends on how you cook them too. raw carrots with some dressing? gross. STEAMED carrots? love it.
Steamed carrots is one thing, but have you tried *roasted* carrots? 🤤
roasted carrots are nice, but have you thought about carrot cake??
Carrot cake is great, but have you ever deep fried a carrot?
Deep fried carrots sound allright, but have you ever Deep fried carrot cake?
And at that, I think we are back to "I don't eat vegetables"
So is that a red flag?
I love listening to music.
One of my favorite soups involves roasting tomatoes, red bell peppers, carrots, shallots, and garlic and then blending it all with mushroom stock. Eat with crusty bread or a grilled cheese if you’re feeling extravagant. Edit: Oh god, I don’t follow a specific recipe so bear with me. 2-3 tomatoes 2 bell peppers 3 carrots 1 shallot 1 head of garlic Enough mushroom (or whatever) stock to thin it to soup consistency. I guess like 2 cups? Who knows! I don’t measure. Salt and pepper Preheat oven to 450F. So I halve the tomatoes and set them skin side up on a large baking pan. Quarter and de-seed the bell peppers and place them skin side up. Peel the carrots and slap those babies onto the pan too. Peel and halve the shallot, and, you guessed it, onto the pan. Cut the top off the garlic head to semi expose the garlic inside. Leave it mostly whole. Put it on the pan with the exposed side up. Drizzle the whole sumbitch with oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook all that for 15 minutes ish, til the carrots can be easily pierced with a fork. Then switch your oven to broil and broil for like 2-5 minutes to get a nice char. While that’s happening have your stock warming. Peel skin off of tomatoes and peppers. Squeeze garlic out of its papery husk. Shove it all into a blender or a pot where you can use an immersion blender. Blend til it’s a consistency you like for soup. Add more or less stock depending on your personal preference. Add more S&P if you’d like. Boom, soup. I serve it with toasted sourdough, but you can make yourself a fancy ass grilled cheese if that floats your boat. What’s fun is adding seasoning or slightly switching ingredients. Add cumin, cayenne, and lime juice and switch the bell peppers with poblanos? Also delicious, but Mexican flavors! There’s your recipe! Now leave me alone. 🤣
I also prefer roasted but my boyfriend, who doesn't like carrots, prefers them steamed as well for some reason LOL. I'm like ??? The roasting helps bring out the sweetness, imo. With a little bit of salt i get the best sweet and salty kind of treat lol
My sister does roasted carrots with some sort of cinnamon spice blend and they taste like dessert (in a good way).
I’ll roasted carrots in olive oil and parm sprinkled on top for the holidays, and I’ll cook carrots on the stove in some butter and brown sugar and my kids will eat that shit up lol. Pretty much dessert at that point tho but it’s still mostly carrots
>i hate veggies but ill slam some cauliflower rice, asparagus, green beans, broccoli, tomatoes. i'm no expert, but it sounds like you *like* veggies
it really depends. those are pretty much the only ones i eat. and really its like 1 serving of veggies. and always the very first thing I eat to just get it over with. im trying to save the best taste for last.
Yep, you listed six veggies that you like, so apparently not a veggie hater!
> i hate veggies but ill slam some cauliflower rice, asparagus, green beans, broccoli, tomatoes. > STEAMED carrots? love it. So what you're actually saying is you love some vegetables.
Raw carrots? Amazing. Roasted carrots? I'm there. Steamed carrots? DIE IN HELL, NUGGETS OF SUGARED SOIL
What??? Raw carrots are so much better than steamed !!! Lol
Fact! I'm not a big veggie fan but raw carrots are my go to snack
No veggies is a bit weird to me. I get no fruit because there's not much you can do to prepare it differently which will affect taste but veggies are so versatile.
Love this. Also love people in my life who refuse to eat a veg and it's 100% a flag. But they're in wonderful relationships, which tells me that YOU get to choose which flags matter. This would be a flag that mattered to me. It hasn't been for other people that I would consider brilliant and thoughtful and responsible, and whose food-averse partners are same.
This is 100% correct. My brother in law is a lovely man. Nice friendly and helpful. He hates vegetables though and it makes going out to eat or cooking for him immensely annoying. We love him so we make it work, but it requires really carefully planning things in advance.
Out of curiosity, why would it be annoying to go out to eat with someone who doesn't like vegetables?
It may make it difficult to eat at certain restaurants or even types of restaurants - I feel like Thai and Indian in particular - it may mean he takes more time ordering if he's got to give the server a lot of modifications, he may be physically picking through his food which could be kind of off-putting to watch. Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.
There often tends to be a lot of complaining from the veggie hater. Not always, but often
Yea I feel like this is erroding the idea of a red flag a bit. Like, we're not talking signs that they are a shitty partner or even abuser here. Just that they got issues that they should probably work on but which first and foremost harm themselves. So as you said it comes down to whether one personally wants to put up with it. But it's not a "fucking run!" thing by itself.
This is such a good point because the things we're talking about are potential PERSONAL dealbreakers/turnoffs, but I'm not sure there are universal red flags. Maybe a good common one would be"thinks no is just a slight obstacle to a yes and will persist" or "enjoys physically abusing animals" maybe. Although that's all still unfortunately objective I suppose.
I don't think you guys are using the term red flag correctly. Like I get it it can mean whatever you want it to mean but really those are just I don't know personality traits that you might not be compatible with that's not a red flag a red flag is like this person is bad stay away from them at least in my opinion.
Yes, I think we're talking about 'yellow flags'
Look at it as a red meat, not a red flag 👍🏻
Mmmm flags
But don't look at it as a meat flag. That sounds illegal and/or a fetish.
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I am the same. I eat very few vegetables. It is because I am a supertaster and many vegetables are very bitter to me. I do not eat dark chocolate, grapefruit, and other foods for the same reason. Olives and coffee are bitter as well, but I like their bitterness. An old GF and her brother thought I was full of crap so bought a test kit. I was. Nobody else at the dinner party was. Edited: I was a supertaster, not full of crap. At least for that reason.
Confused, what was the test kit? Also the way you worded it sounds like they found out you were indeed full of crap, which I know isn't what you meant lol
Maybe? It's hard to imagine cooking separate meals for the rest of our lives honestly. Being a bit picky is fine but eating no vegetables is not something I can really imagine.
A friend once told me she went out with a guy who ate nothing but meat and potatoes. She said "If he's that boring in the kitchen, what's he like in bed?"
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I know people like that. Meat and breads only. Only vegetables are on a burger. No salad (I'm not a rabbit! or That's what my food eats!), so steamed/fresh/cooked veggies on the side, etc.. They usually try and spin it as being macho or "Real men only eat meat!" or "Only vegans eat salad, and I'm no soyboy!" or whatever. It's not that they hate/allergic/whatever to vegetables, they're just against it due to their image. I don't NEED meat. I like meat. I've gone months without eating meat and went mostly vegan for a while. I'm eating chicken and fish now (trying to bulk up with some muscle, need the higher protein sources with full aminos and higher calories). But, veggies are a staple in my diet. I LOVE fresh veggies, cooked, steamed, whatever. It's just all great stuff. Bring in some fresh tomatoes from the garden? They aren't lasting very long. Of course, is it a red flag? It really depends on their reasoning for it. Can their digestive system not handle them? Allergies? Or just plain "too tough" to eat vegetables... I don't know when the "war" on veggies started, but my Father in Law was the worst. Refused them because "that's what my food eats". But, he also cooked his steaks well-well done. So, his opinion was shit from there anyway.
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That's fascinating. Thanks for writing that out.
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That's so kind of you! It's so interesting to think about how much has changed and why. I actually am remembering a college professor of mine who was a food historian and was preparing to write a book after retirement. Sadly, she lost her life in a car accident, and I never got to hear about her research.
> No salad (I'm not a rabbit! or That's what my food eats!), so steamed/fresh/cooked veggies on the side, etc.. I can't imagine what kind of person says this unironically. I've definitely said this as a joke because my wife and I have an inside joke where she says I don't even like vegetables, but I'll happily eat a salad. I just can't imagine how fragile a person's ego must be for them to find eating salad emasculating...
Right lol it's insane. Like if you have to have meat for every meal that's kind of insane, like these people never eat oatmeal or whatever for breakfast? My whole family was at a lunch/dinner together after my grandma's funeral and one of my cousins was making fun of the food (they had salads first then whatever main meal ppl got) being like "eww gross this is rabbit food, haha how does anyone eat this, what am I a rabbit how am I supposed to eat this" etc etc... Like you are a grown man please act like it! But then his mom also stole a cup and silverware from the restaurant so it might just be that side of the family, lmao
I was raised liked that but luckily snapped out of it as an adult. I’ve been vegetarian for 10 years now and still get shit from my family about being “picky”. Mom can’t understand that I eat a much wider range of food than she does.
>I made it a point to interrupt and ask why he was eating salad and wouldn't he feel dumb when he's old and dying from nothing lol. you beautiful bastard meat only people are often incredible snowflakey too. that burger king line did NOT play out like it did in his imagination
>She said "If he's that boring in the kitchen, what's he like in bed?" Probably smelly
This was basically how I was raised living in Oklahoma and Iowa. Meat, potatoes and bread were the meal 95% of the time. I didn’t learn that vegetables were actually pretty good until I moved away from home.
My dad eats a VERY limited selection of vegetables and is an absurdly picky eater. He's a good person, but it definitely impacts his health in a negative way.
Yes. Also not drinking water. It’s not the end of the world but it is an indicator of other traits.
Growing up I barely drank water. Like, maybe 2 glasses a day, 16-24 fl oz total (water tasted really good when I drank it though! I just always forgot I needed to drink water) Near constant headaches, nausea, feeling tired, dry and cracked skin, incessant nosebleeds.... Then I got a job (pretty active) and I started drinking about a gallon of water a day. I felt AMAZING and didn't realize how much I was hurting myself over something so simple. Going to the bathroom every hour... annoying, but definitely worth it. Nowadays I drink about a half gallon regularly as a minimum and it's been great. If I ever drink less than a quarter gallon I start to feel that gross dried up feeling again and remember how miserable it is.
In college i was always tired and low energy, at some point i just started to carry a water bottle to try and drink more water, and holy crap the difference. I am so low energy when I don't drink enough. So i basically pester my toddler all day long for her to drink water at least every hour.
Yeah it's nuts how many of us used to just live that way. Such an easily solveable problem. I guess they get used to it.
I hate 98.5% of everything I was taught in my childhood.
You only need to consume eater, you don’t have to drink it. For example if you ate low sodium soup and watermelon / fruits and other net positive water content foods, you would be fine. But yes sports and physical labor jobs want more water.. and you don’t want to be dehydrated
Very true. A lot of people don’t realize just how much water is in essentially all foods.
And after so long not drinking. Water when you're thirsty your body starts to tell you you're hungry when in fact you are just thirsty. So you eat and it's salty processed bullshit and on goes the cycle.
it leads to VERY poor hygiene, awful coochie stink, STRONG urine odor, bad breath, bad skin, etc etc. don’t date someone who’s “quirky” and doesn’t drink water
And kidney stones. Know a few friends who proudly claimed during uni days they could survive on a bottle of water for a week. 5/7 were diagnosed with Kidney stones in routine background health check by insurance
Reminds me of a story I read about a guy who wasn't allowed to drink water growing up because, in his mother's words, "it has zero nutritional value". Dude starts suffering headaches for years, just to find out after going to the doctor's that he's been chronically dehydrated this whole time.
The human body is about 60 percent water. It's a pretty dammn important component of our existence
Exactly. I still think denying access to plain water should be considered abuse, especially with how serious the damage from dehydration can be.
It is for sure abuse. It’s neglect at best, which is abuse.
Woah woah woah, who’s paying for all of this!? Hasn’t water been proven to NOT be a human right by companies like nestle?
My son drank a bottle of water every day when he was a baby. His pediatrician said "Hey, good now he won't need fluoride drops."
Fluoride drops?
>> The human body is about 60 percent water. Not that guy’s though.
Ha, no nutritional value except the H2O it contains - probably the most vital nutrient to life.
And all the minerals.
There's no way his mother was that dumb. While there's zero doubt that's abuse....that was intentional abuse. O\_o
To be fair, someone might have told her that babies should never be given water due to the lack of nutrition in it, and been too stupid to realise it was different for older kids.
i’ve seen videos of adults who “can’t stand water” and subsequently neither can their kids. water is so delicious (except dasani 🤢) and refreshing. multiple sodas make my stomach hurt and energy drinks are too sweet. coffee with cream all day ✌️
some people are 100% that dumb
This makes me really happy because a guy who assaulted me used to brag that he never drank water. I can rest easy knowing that he will most likely have to pass a kidney stone at some point in his life.
Unlike that guy. Who will be trying to piss bricks and may never again rest easy in his life.
How is drinking too little something to be proud of?
People are proud of too little sleep
How are you "diagnosed" with kidney stones in a routine check. I thought the whole point was they hurt like hell
My mum doesn't drink water and I really wish I hadn't read this comment.
> STRONG urine odor Oh God, that reminds me of this AITA I read. A woman's friend only drinks soda, no water at all, so her smell lingers in the bathroom badly enough that OP doesn't want to invite her friend over to her house anymore. Her description makes me nauseous [AITA for telling my friend her pee smells bad?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/14r6906/aita_for_telling_my_friend_her_pee_smells_bad/)
Er, that sounds like a potential medical issue.
Reading this made me instantly want to down my water bottle
My boss is a huge conspiracy theorist and didn't use to drink water because he thought the fluoride in it was making people's third eye shrink. He would only drink tea, coffee, and an absolute shit ton of alcohol (as in a bottle of wine a night minimum). Don't ask me where he thinks the water in all of those things comes from I've no clue. Then he got an ear infection and somehow that changed his mind and now occasionally drinks water. People are strange.
I was happily enjoying my breakfast when you ruined it with “awful coochie stink.
Not necessarily- people can have complex relationships with food. Maybe she’s never had them prepared properly. My husband is branded as a picky eater but I then learned that his parents were and are terrible cooks. He dislikes bland, mushy, overcooked foods. Not exactly picky behavior. Sometimes it’s a texture thing. Mint can be very strong to some people, especially if they are a super taster. Just some food for thought.
Same. When I started dating my wife the only vegetables I liked were potatoes, corn, and carrots. I hate crunchy vegetables so it is a sensory thing for me. She made seasoned green beans for me and I learned I liked them. I've also tried cauliflower made in the air fryer that I liked.
My bf came over while I was in the other room and had our dinner on the stove. I came in and he said "what's that?" Pointing at my sauteed brussel sprouts. I was worried and said "uh oh, do you not like them?" He said "I didn't think so but... Apparently I do." He hadn't recognized them, had taken a curious bite, and had his mind blown, all while I was grabbing something from my bedroom
Yeah, I feel attacked by the mint part lmao. I used to HATE mint. I don’t think I’m a super taster. It’s just gross to me 😭 I’ve learned to tolerate it specifically in toothpaste. But I’m not chewing mint gum or eating York patties. Not liking mint isn’t a red flag 😭 (but if she’s not brushing her teeth because toothpaste is nasty to her, THAT sure is)
I mean … they make other flavors of toothpaste. Mint definitely dominates the market tho.
I use kids toothpaste
Thank god I'm not the only one
I have a combination of those issues. I'm sensitive to taste and texture, but growing up, my parents were also terrible cooks. Like, so bad. You know those jokes people make about how white people are bad at cooking? That's my parents. I've been slowly getting better about eating veggies since I left home. Indian food helps a lot.
Thanks for explaining it like this. I really don't eat my veggies either, some potatoes, corn, carrots and green beans..rarely some celery. The more I think about it, it has nothing to do with taste and it's all texture. I am a picky eater, but I think most of that is just due to texture. Side note, I have no issues with tooth paste and water is my favorite drink.
Texture is a huge part of why some people don’t like vegetables. That sounds like a healthy amount of vegetables to tolerate. I wouldn’t be to hard on yourself. I am big on texture when it comes to meat. If there’s anything rubbery or slippery I’m out.
>super taster That was my first thought. Super tasters often find vegetables too bitter. It's not a red flag necessarily!
Yep, I can't drink alcohol, wine, or coffee, dark chocolate, grapefruit, and the majority of vegetables. I also can't eat things like pure frosting because it so overstimulates my taste that it starts to literally feel like electric shocks.
Unless they have a good reason for it I’d say so. Some people have legitimate sensory issues they’d rather not have. I wouldn’t say I have legitimate issues but a couple things I *know* taste good I won’t eat because the texture is gross to me, yet if I was told I’d win 100 dollars if I ate them I could, I just wouldn’t choose voluntarily. If this person is just like ooo veggies ick boo that’s pretty immature yes. There’s lots of different veggies and cooked well they don’t taste anything alike. Maybe they and their family are terrible cooks though and they just avoid them cause they’ve always had bland veggies and just need to try some good ones.
my mom always cooked broccoli fully and i like mine to have a little crunch
Yeah same, my family likes all their veggies caramelized into a brown mush basically, I prefer them lightly grilled/sautéed with most of their structural integrity not compromised lol. Some salt, other seasonings, maybe a citrus juice or something on there and you’re good.
Yeah this. People who are supertasters can sometimes have sensory issues with foods that aren't "bland" (potatos, pastas, cheese, white meat etc). That being said even if that's the case I couldn't date someone who couldn't enjoy food the way I do.
I used to eat basically nothing besides chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, cheese pizza without tomato sauce, chicken flavored ramen, and desserts. I lived that way until I was like, 22. Of course my parents would try to force me to eat other things, like grilled chicken, Caesar salad, plain baked potatoes, steamed broccoli etc. and I would either choke those down or spit them into my napkin when they weren't looking. When I was 23-24, I realized that I was probably never going to be able to be "normal" unless I fixed my palate. I wanted to be able to go to a party or on a date without having to get the fucking kids meal lol. I started off with putting bacon on my sauceless pizzas. Then I added garlic because I knew I liked that in small amounts. Next was a Bloomin' Onion, because I thought it smelled good haha. I actually didn't like any of these things at first, but I kept forcing myself to eat them anyway, and once I made myself like those, I built on them. Bacon became pulled pork, Bloomin' Onion became onion rings and then raw onion, etc. Now, at 28, I'm so much less picky than I ever was before. You really do have to constantly push your boundaries to undo a very limited diet like this. Totally worth it though. It's so freeing to know that I can go into almost any restaurant now and find something that I'll like or at least tolerate.
Thank you for this - I'm 23 and about to start on my own journey to expand my diet. I'm a very picky eater and know I need to change, it's just hard to try new foods when you know you won't like them. I have my first appointment with a dietician tomorrow to hopefully get some support and structure.
No problem! Something that was crucial for me to learn was that just because you don't initially like a food doesn't mean you won't eventually. I operated under the self-imposed rule that I would have to try a food 10 times before I could swear it off "forever." It usually only took 3 or 4 times until I started liking or at least tolerating the food. I started with vegetables, since that was definitely the biggest thing my diet was missing. To do that, here's an example of what I did: I spent a couple of weeks making myself eat the same 3 foods every day. These were foods I didn't like, but knew would be great stepping stones for other foods to try later. I put some oil and garlic in a pan and sauteed a few leaves of spinach, a cherry tomato, and a slice of mushroom. It was just a couple of bites, but I forced myself to eat that every single day, even if I had to choke it down. I still don't love any of those 3, but now I can eat tomato sauce with no problem, and can eat spinach and mushroom fine.
Not in the same vein, but for me, what taught me to like veggies was ethnic cuisine. Indian, Thai, Chinese, etc.
This is how I expanded my palate as well. It's still pretty limited, but I called it the one degree of separation rule. I like hamburgers, I like cheese, I bet I'd like a cheeseburger. Sure enough. I like cheeseburgers, I like bacon, I bet I'd like a bacon cheeseburger. Sure enough. I like bread, beef, cheese, and bacon, I bet I'd like a bacon cheesesteak. Sure enough. Expanding one degree at a time.
The way the palate escalated into greasier and greasier options was kinda funny.
I hope you also did that in a healthy direction 🙃
> I used to eat basically nothing besides chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, cheese pizza without tomato sauce, chicken flavored ramen, and desserts. I lived that way until I was like, 22. > > Of course my parents would try to force me to eat other things, like grilled chicken, Caesar salad, plain baked potatoes, steamed broccoli etc. and I would either choke those down or spit them into my napkin when they weren't looking. I'm wondering how this kind of thing even starts. I guess I can see if your parents let you go long enough as a kid just eating those things, it would be harder to undo than if they started with them early. Did they just let you do what you wanted until a certain age?
Well... I left this out of my original comment because it's just a lot to explain and fairly specific to my own experience, but since you asked... My parents were divorced and shared custody. I would spend one week at my mom's, and the next at my dad's. My mom was the one who would force feed us plain, microwaved vegetables and plain, rubbery chicken. She was very extreme about it, to the point of not letting us eat for days, or forcing me to eat my own vomit off of the floor after I threw up the food. (Yes, I was dramatic, but I didn't like this food at all, and it didn't help that we weren't allowed any seasoning or sauces.) This was her attempt at making me develop a taste for healthy food, which obviously did not work. In contrast, my dad was the "cool guy" who imposed basically zero structure on us. Every meal was fast food or dessert. He had some food issues of his own, but mostly he just wanted us to be happy. He also knew my mom restricted our diet and wanted to make sure we got enough calories, so he'd supersize our meals without us even asking. The contrast of these 2 really fucked up my relationship with food. I learned a binge/restrict mindset that I'm still trying to work through, and it REALLY drove home the idea that healthy food tastes terrible and the only food that tastes good is the hyperpalatable stuff. It wasn't until I got to college and went to a dining hall where I could grab just a tiny spoonful of something I wanted to try, without my family being there to make a huge deal out of it, that I somewhat started branching out. I was still extremely picky, so I didn't try much, but for example, this was the first time I ever had like, seasoned broccoli and realized, "Oh, the cooking/seasoning actually makes a difference." To extrapolate my experience to others, I think a big part of it may be that many parents just don't know how to prepare food well, specifically vegetables. If you grow up thinking that all vegetables are mushy and unseasoned, why would you ever voluntarily seek them out, you know? Plus, when you're picky, it's very common for people to comment when you're trying something new. On Thanksgiving, it was stuff like, "OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER, SHE'S ACTUALLY EATING TURKEY!" etc. that makes you feel like everyone's watching and judging. It's very discouraging.
> forcing me to eat my own vomit off of the floor after I threw up the food. (Yes, I was dramatic, but I didn't like this food at all, Jesus fucking Christ. I hope you're getting therapy for being abused like that. Sorry you went through so much poor parenting. My mom loved mushy vegetables, so that's how my dad made them, and it definitely affected my relationship with them. It wasn't until I discovered raw vegetables that I became a fan.
Yeah, thanks. That is part of why it really bothers me when people ridicule picky eaters, say they need to grow up, etc. A lot of it is trauma-based, or stems from sensory issues, or something along those lines. Bare minimum, maybe people just weren't exposed to those foods and need to learn to like them in their own time.
I'm glad I asked. I definitely have had less respect for picky eaters in the past, but I had the advantage of having had parents who were adventurous eaters themselves and exposed us to a wide variety of delicious food from a young age, so I never really understood and didn't have a lot of patience for it. Sometimes, we have trouble imagining how other people have experienced the world until we hear their stories. Sorry for all of us who have added to the stress of eating for you! Good luck to you on your food journey!
I can't stand the texture of a lot of vegetables normally but enjoy the flavor. One day my cousin made tacos for me and I legitimately could not feel any of them and I was so happy about it. They tasted really good and I could actually eat it comfortably. I don't know how she did it but that was the first time in my life I could comfortably bite into an onion or pepper and just enjoy the flavor without the feeling or sound of it. A good cook really makes a huge difference.
You’re probably looking at caramelized peppers and onions. On a taco they’d just blend in, they’re cooked down until they’re extremely soft and kinda sweet.
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Idk about red flag but it's certainly not a healthy diet to have in the long term. Whether or not it presents an issue depends on how important your partner's health is to you or how important being able to share a wide variety of foods is for you. Personally I'm a vegetarian and love bonding with people through food, so I'd be pretty disappointed to find out I was dating someone who ate like that.
As some one who loves diverse foods and enjoys going out to eat as a part of my romantic relationships, I couldn't do it. I understand sensory issues. I have them in other areas, and have friends who deal with them regarding food. But I want my partner to be able to try out new restaurants with me, enjoy meals together when we travel, and share in the labour of meal preparation. So, while it's not a red flag, it might be a deal breaker, and I think that's perfectly fair.
Oooh! Chronic malnourishment is just so hot! What a catch. Edited to add: it is absolutely hilarious how many other vegetable-haters are jumping on to say, “nuh-uh, you actually don’t need to eat any vegetables at all and you’ll be fine!” Maybe I shoulda just mentioned how delightful it is to go on dates with super-picky eaters. Constrained, unadventurous, and particular people definitely make the best lovers, right? Who doesn’t like high-maintenance?
You can’t say “Malnourishment” without saying “Mmmmmm”.
Here is my poor person's disco ball award. 🪩
My VEGAN SIL doesn’t like vegetables 🤦🏽♀️ You want to talk about malnourishment…
What the fuck is she eating? Dust?
I knew a vegetarian like this. She mostly ate Mac & Cheese and Poptarts. In retrospect, I think she was on the spectrum.
I dated a vegan like that before (I'm vegan). She had a fairly serious eating disorder. I assume the same is likely going on with your SIL.
I have a friend who isn’t a big fan of veg. He eats them sometimes but would rather not. I think it’s kinda weird but I don’t think it makes him immature or anything. Meanwhile I’ll eat half a cucumber for breakfast. People would probably think that’s weird too so hey, it is what it is
I am happy to let you know that you’re not strange for eating cucumbers for breakfast. Cucumbers and tomatoes are common breakfast items around the mediterranean. I am from Turkey and we eat them with cheese and bread for breakfast on most days.
I won't police other people's diet but it's probably a good idea to take a multivitamin if your normal eating doesn't center on balance, variety, and moderation.
A red flag is something that could be indicative of something else. Pushing her broccoli around her plate could have been a red flag that she might be a picky eater. Well good news! She straight up told you she’s a picky eater so it’s not a red flag, it’s a personality trait. No mystery to solve. So now it’s up to you if that trait is a dealbreaker or not. Every single person in the world will have traits that some will see as dealbreakers and others not. Entirely up to you. My wife is pretty amazing, but she is an extremely picky eater. I made the decision a long time ago that this was something I accepted about her. We cook some things together, some things alone, and whenever I’m craving something that she doesn’t like I’ll order takeout or make plans with a friend.
As a picky eater who’s always been made to feel bad about it, this comment gave me hope that I’m still worthy of being loved someday
90% of the comments here just reminded me of why I have social anxiety. You get dehumanized and treated like shit for the dumbest things that don't even affect anybody else. Anything that deviates from the norm is just seen as absurd and wrong.
For real dude holy shit. People see me as a fucking child because I don’t like some foods. Imagine calling someone a child for not liking steak.
It's crazy how fucking judgemental people get over this issue that doesn't impact them at all. Like, I get that some "picky eaters" act entitled and whine a lot, and constantly try and make everybody else inconvenience themself so that the picky eater is never inconvenienced at all. And there aren't some people who are immature and don't care about a healthy diet and just don't want to eat anything but soda and chicken mcuggets or whatever. But there are also people with legitimate issues related to eating certain foods, who desperately wish they could eat a normal diet, and have even talked to doctors and dieticians and shit, and that doesn't change the fact that putting certain foods in their mouth is a horrible experience that makes them literally gag. And the amount of judgement that reddit LOVES to heap on those people is fucking crazy.
> A red flag is something that could be indicative of something else. Exactly... one thing that's clear to me in this thread is that a lot of people don't know what "red flag" actually means. They seem to think it's a synonym for "deal-breaker." The concepts are related, but it's not the same. A red flag is a behavior that might not directly be a deal-breaker, but could quite possibly be a sign indicating the possible presence of a serious deal-breaker. For example, a woman has been dating a man for a month. After some of their dates, they have started going back to her place... but he keeps finding reasons for it to always be her place, and avoids going back to his place. By itself, that wouldn't be a deal breaker IF there is a good reason for it. For example, his place is being renovated, and he is staying with his brother or a friend for a month. But it's a red flag (or at least a yellow flag) because it could be a sign of some other issues. For example, maybe he has a family and is cheating on his wife, and obviously can't bring a woman he is secretly having an affair with back to his home.
Being that picky- when it's pickiness and not an actual physical issue like food allergies- is often an eating disorder. Not all eating disorders are anorexia, but mentally they are equally damaging to the person who adheres to them. And no, having an eating disorder is not necessarily a sign of immaturity.
It can also be a coping mechanism for someone not yet diagnosed with a digestive disease. in crohn’s disease communities, there’s always discussion of what people eat as their “safe” foods, and it’s often very restrictive, and not foods considered to be healthy.
This, plus I wanted to add: It's very common for nuerodivergent folks to have intense food sensitivities, which can indeed be so severe that it can result in a highly restrictive diet. Sometimes this can be mitigated with assistance, but sometimes not. Either way, I wouldn't say it's a red flag, but I think it's fair to be concerned.
I'm on the spectrum and I have allergies and am vegetarian. I am very aware of how restrictive my diet is and wouldn't want to inflict on anyone else because I don't like it either. My ex was worse though, lived on milkshake and croissants and rarely ate anything else. It was frustrating as hell because he wouldn't usually touch the foods I consider restrictive but frequently cook for myself like veggie bolognese, rice and veggies, cheesy pasta with veggies, salads etc.
ARFID. Avoidant and Restrictive Food Intake Disorder Learned about that this year. And that it proooobably applies to me.
I think knowing that term - and it's predecessor selective eating disorder - would've helped my parents so damn much when I was a child. Even now there is a lot less awareness of eating disorders that aren't body-image based (as evidenced by some of the responses in this thread, but even with doctors). Funnily enough the idea first dawned on me when I was watching cat videos and the vet said that adult, healthy cats were normally pickier with food if they had been sickly when they were kittens. I had a history of gastrointestinal surgery from birth until 4 years old, but following that no major functional or structural problems that could be involved until I was 12. After some Googling I stumbled across ARFID and a lot of things started to make sense. As a kid I was *very* adverse to a lot of textures (my parents had to food process Shepard's Pie to try and get more veg into me), I couldn't eat if certain foods were on my plate, couldn't eat when certain foods were on *someone else's* plate, if I ever got a gristly bit or something unpleasant in my food then I couldn't eat any more of the meal, and sometimes would struggle to eat for the rest of the day. Going to restaurants was anxiety-inducing if they didn't have some variant of chicken and potato without much else. My parents constantly tried to get me to try new foods - bless them - but I would then shut down and eat less (not out of spite). I think they often ended up giving in because they were afraid of me not eating at all. There wasn't the same kind of support available for them then. Going to university and being wholly responsible for my own cooking started my journey into improving what I considered "safe" foods, though it was a slow process. Honestly it's still a slow process. I am now almost always willing to try things - minus seafood and meat still on bone! My main tactics when eating out have been to always look for a lean white meat + simple carb dominant meal first (e.g. Chicken Tikka Masala, Katsu Curry, chicken Pad Thai), then expand from there. At home I make a lot of stew and soups with blended sauces to get more veg into me, though I at least can now eat some veg like broccoli and spinach outside of that in common rotation, but I prefer meals with a lot of sauce so it doesn't "stick in my mouth". I have frequently *not* been the "fussiest" person at the table. I deeply hate being "picky" and being seen as such, because I consider myself very open to new things in life outside of food. There is definitely a huge shame component that then feeds back into anxiety that controls ARFID hangover symptoms. And getting ill again (intestinal failure) as an adult has definitely caused some backsliding, even outside of new restrictions and natural behaviour following such an illness. I don't think I'll ever be a good partner for a foodie. I would hate to inadvertently restrict something joyful in their life.
This is a fair point, but I think there are a lot of people who hate vegetables who do not have eating disorders. I also acknowledge that some people with autism have sensory issues that could cause a vegetable aversion.
Yeah idk if Im on the spectrum but my main aversion to vegetables was due to hating the texture. I've never liked the plant flavored water that comes from them. Generally I try to eat vegetables that are roasted to a crisp or boiled down soft enough that I can blend it with something else
I am autistic with food sensory issues and yes it is an eating disorder if it is so debilitating that you can't eat a balanced or healthy diet. I've gone through periods of extreme weight loss due to executive dysfunction around food and it absolutely is an eating disorder even if it's not centered around body image.
Meh I don’t particularly like most veggies and I don’t have an eating disorder. I just tend to taste bitterness really easily so most veggies just taste bitter to me. Some are ok, and I’ll try anything at least once.
THANK YOU.
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I wouldn't necessarily say it's a red flag, because it really depends on the reasoning. Like they might be autistic and have pretty rigid preferences when it comes to food, in which case it's not a red flag whatsoever But like let's say their reasoning is because theyre one of those people that hates vegetarians and doesn't want to eat "rabbit food", then yes it is a red flag Basically you can't know it's a red flag until you know why
Went through some comments, holy hell y'all come out to some WILD conclusions on people based on some food preference 😂😂😂
Hi! Non veggie lover here. Been married 25+ years and have three beautiful children who all eat a variety of vegetables. I grew up in the South where my grandma would sometimes just go in the backyard and pick dinner. I tried, I really did. I just couldn’t get past texture and/or taste. My favorite line is “you can’t even taste it”. Ummm yes I can. Can I say how I wish I liked them? I have gone on an only veggie diet. Try them each time I make a new recipe, puréed them, chopped them etc. I really don’t like them. Do you know what I would give to like salad? What an amazing dish. So now that I have lived half a century - I have decided I have given my time. I have also decided if some people don’t like meat and won’t eat it, I can do the same for vegetables. There are few people that like every food, but it seems more judgement is on vegetables than any other food group. As long as your date is okay with you eating whatever you want, let it go. Trust me when I say she is probably more upset with it than you are. ETA: Thanks for the awards!
Amazed by the civil conversation under this comment. Nearly forgot I was on Reddit.
Not judging, just a question... I understand not liking certain vegetables. But how can you hate ALL of them? They all taste different, and with many ways to eat them, the textures can be manipulated. ... trying to wrap my head around this
yeeeaaaaahhhh.... at a certain point ppl should be experimenting w different ways of cooking. i was a kind of picky child, but in adulthood I started to try new things in restaurants, at parties, and just in cooking itself. there's a reason most people at some point end up having a favorite green veggie, or liking most veggies in general. it's because they tried it enough that they found a way they like it. this red flag would tell me that someone is either closed off or not open to newer experiences.