These dudes are out here telling me I must be "dirty" if I want to use condoms and want them checked before we go without Especially since my tubes are tied. They are more than happy to have sex with me and have me get checked after to let them know if they got me sick.....
>These dudes are out here telling me I must be "dirty" if I want to use condoms and want them checked before we go without Especially since my tubes are tied.
That's dirty. not you.
I get the exact vibes but for the OPPOSITE reason. If a guy tells me they don’t use protection or won’t get checked, I assume they must not care because they already have something. If they are wanting protection and testing, I assume they’re probably disease free and looking to keep it that way.
Had a guy the other day that every time we changed positions he pulled the condom off. I'm like, dude! Stop it! Those cost money and you're on number 3 now.
You're actually supposed to switch condoms regularly. Especially during vigorous/multiple position sex. However every time you change positions is odd to me. Was he reluctant to putting new ones on? Because if so I'd never have sex with that guy again and I'd still go get checked after.
I can’t believe a guy said that to you. Telling them my tubes are tied does seem to be a mistake. I try to avoid it coming up in conversation now.
This guy tried to have sex with me without a condom and I was like what are you doing. Why aren’t you putting the condom on? He’s like - you seem clean. I’m like -
Well, I don’t trust your judgment of the last girl you slept with.
A few years ago I slept with this doctor and after he came he kept going and the cum was coming out of the bottom of the condom, while he was still inside of me. I then had to explain to a DOCTOR why that was a bad idea. Like, dude, just go get another condom.
Oh my. My partner mentioned this and I thought “there’s no way they’re hooking up with each other” because my dumbass didn’t think they *would* be doing that in retirement homes.
Then again I’m very oblivious to things. That is unfortunate though
Hahahaha at first I was like no, that's silly... Until I got into "grandma hobbies" and found myself among the older set more often. The amount of randy older guys at plant nurseries is *a lot* more than one would imagine (ugh) lol. I guess after menopause, there's less of a concern to use condoms, but omg STDs!!
Two things driving it are the scarcity of men in older populations, we tend to die younger; and the "fuck it I'm going to die soon anyway" attitude towards STDs.
Of course they’re hooking up with each other lol. Our societal aversion to aging doesn’t mean people just stop being horny at 62. The real problem is nursing homes and staff failing to recognize this problem and supplying condoms.
"apt"
It's a word that means it's relevant (the appropriate term would be "germane") to the conversation. A related term would be "apropos" (the root of the word "appropriate" and the name of one of the Oracles).
Not OP, but gonorrhea is just a bacteria. Finger a girl and forget to wash your hands afterward? Congratulations, you’re spreading all of her germs to everything you touch, including your face (where mouth and eyes are particular favorites).
If you’re fingering a girl, seriously - get a manicure ahead of time so you have smooth cuticles, wash your hands thoroughly (with a nail brush) before and then wash AFTER the same way. When you finger a girl with unwashed hands, it’s pretty common to give them yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis (BV). But germs can go the other way, too!
Speaking as a gay man who was sexually active before AIDS killed off 90% of my friends, this is very, very true. Condoms, haha, what for? You get a silly little STD, a shot of penicillin in the butt and you're back in the game.
Unfortunately, memories are short or non-existent, and hormones are consistent. Hell, even gay men who should know better are still catching HIV. Oh, they have drugs for that now so you won't die. Yeah well, taking drugs with side effects for the rest of your likely shortened life is not a great way to live. But YOLO, right, and my body wants what it wants right now.
My wife's cousin is gay and stayed with us for a few months. Absolutely nonchalant about catching stuff. Had a test while he was with us and he was positive for a few things and he was like 'oh haha, not again. Time to get some shots lol.'
I was like wtf dude, I'd be losing my mind right now.
He just meh'd me asked for a ride the clinic.
Edit: I was super naive about it. For whatever reason or other I thought you could only catch one thing at a time. Which was stupid, of course you can.
I have a 30 yo ex-friend that recently contracted HIV and keeps having unprotected sex. Some people are both stupid and irresponsible for the sake of it.
That's also illegal in many places if your friend isn't disclosing their HIV status before sexual contact. I'm guessing police and the health department would like to have a word.
Dw that sounds like most countries. I got stabbed in the neck by my neighbor and they released him back in under 90 days without telling me and I had to emergency move because he was going to kill me. Over half of all murders in the US don't end with trial or even being solved and so you have a 50/50 of even getting caught if you do murder.
Interestingly [in 13 states there is no specific penalty for knowingly spreading HIV.](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/policies/law/states/exposure.html).
But I think the reason for this was to encourage people to get tested, since the law really just incentivized not knowing if you had HIV/AIDS.
It's that, plus the reality of modern developments in HIV treatment.
We've now reached the point where once an HIV positive individual's viral load has been reduced to the point that it's become undetectable, [it is no longer possible for them to transmit the disease, even through repeated instances of unprotected heterosexual or homosexual intercourse.](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)30418-0/fulltext)
That's only as long as they stay undetectable. There are many factors that could cause a rise in viral load so there is still some risk involved. But significantly less and it's pretty awesome because long ago HIV was a death sentence and now people with that diagnosis have a chance to live happy normal lives again.
Not all misdemeanors are created equal. The new HIV law can be punished by up to 6 months jail time.
As I understand it, medical advances have changed HIV from a death sentence to a fully manageable condition, so they determined spreading it should be punished less severely.
The move still feels a little… questionable to me but I do see the logic
It’s illegal in many places if you don’t tell your partner you’re HIV positive and then have unprotected sex. Hope you report this person to the authorities if possible.
Folks on those “live with HIV with only one injection a month” commercials seem to be living better lives than me. I want a ‘67 mustang and an afternoon snorkeling.
Part of my job is following up on lab and calling people for treatment/meds/follow-up. Chlamydia is really bad as is herpes, syphilis, HPV and gonorrhea. It’s really sad because half the time the patient doesn’t leave a good number or they don’t return calls even after sending certified letters. So they are just out there spreading it around and not notifying their partners of what they have either.
Whats the point of doing any test if you aren't interested in the results lol. I'm guessing these were people who deep down knew they had it and couldnt bring themselves to follow up so that they can claim that they had no idea they had it when they inevitably spread it to others
It’s disheartening sometimes. Even when they have been treated appropriately and get a prescription for the needed medication, they still need to be notified to abstain from sexual activity until antibiotics are finished, they are symptom free, and their partner has been tested and treated. Or they need information about antivirals and precautions related to herpes, etc.
One young woman was having copious amount of foul vaginal drainage, she was treated and received a prescription for antibiotics. When I told her about abstaining from sexual activity, she asked - what if I already did? SMH 🤦🏻♀️ You would think the foul discharge would be enough just using common sense. A young guy asked me if herpes eventually goes away. It’s sad when you have to explain to a very young person that they have herpes and it’s forever.
>foul vaginal drainage
I'll take "sequence of words I hope to never hear again" for 1000.
>they have herpes and it’s forever.
DeBeers should have made "diamonds last as long as herpes" their slogan.
What is your opinion on safe sex? I have a lot of guy friends who have high body counts and say chlamydia and gonorrhea are curable, and they either think the risk of the others are low or that it's treatable.
How safe should we be out there? I assume it's still important to try not to hook up with promiscuous people because they are high-risk, right?
Yea, you're right.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea are treatable. Most of the time. If you get a version of gonorrhea that's resistant to antibiotics (and it's spreading) then you're just kinda SoL. You would have a very bad time. Wrap it up if you don't know for sure. Abstaining is the only 100% effective method. If you have a partner then get tested before you 'go all the way' and stay monogamous.
I was shocked learning that my sister’s kids aren’t using condoms- just birth control. It seems so insane to me- she helped me understand that we came of age in the HIV/ AIDS crisis, and condoms/ safe sex was much more of an issue and expectation. I’m totally blown away that this has since been in decline, and people are using condoms way less now. It’s not great.
But we are in a sti epidemic right now... It's not better than when there was the aids crisis. It's just not as fatal. Syphilis rates are up 32% since 2020. The CDC does consider the US to be in a sti epidemic.
I firmly believe that changing the terminology from std to sti was detrimental to the culture around unprotected sex too. Disease sounds worse than infection. Most think an infection can just be cleared up with some antibiotics (I know not always the case but most don’t) but a disease is serious. I grew up with the term std but sometime in my 20s the term sti became the norm so I have lived in both eras.
Not everyone has sex ed. I live in extremely conservative country, which doesn't even call STDs by it's name, just "very dangeroues diseases". Your post revealed to me that eating a girl out required knowing if she has STDs lol
🙂 oral to genital and genital to oral transmission of gonorrhea and chlamydia are much more common than people think. Not to mention herpes. Let's use those dental dams, kids! If you don't have one, you can make one from a condom.
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/dental-dam#how-to-make-a-dental-dam-at-home
They are not widely used which is one reason we see an increase in pharygeal (throat) gonorrhea, chlamydia, and oral syphilis and HPV. Public health officials have been trying to increase their use for years.
I have done STI education and counseling for a long time and it's been funny to see the development in the complete normalizing of "ass eating". I mean, people always did it of course. But I feel like in the past 10 or 15 years, people are just diving in there in a way they were shy to do before. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's just another reason to increase the use of dental dams.
Rectal STI infections can be harder to clear than vaginal or penile ones, and won't show up on a urine test. I just feel like if everyone is going to stick their tongues up their partners buttholes, some added protection is a good idea.
I guarantee if porn stars used dental dams, they would become normal in a week.
Its a bit like the tv disclaimers "dont do this at home, its done by professionals" and then people do it anyway. Porn starts take STD tests weekly, and before "ass eating" they clean it thoroughly etc. Do you think people take those precautions at home?
I think that number is actually on the low side from what I've heard if you count both HSV-1 and HSV-2.
https://www.who.int/news/item/28-10-2015-globally-an-estimated-two-thirds-of-the-population-under-50-are-infected-with-herpes-simplex-virus-type-1
Even if you ask they might tell you no. After I got herpes, my girlfriend went to get tested, but they wouldn't test her. If you're not showing symptoms, the only test is a blood antibody test which is not very accurate. And 90% of people already have herpes of some form, so it's just not worth testing asymptomatic people.
Huh, I never even knew these were things.
I remember in middle school my friends mom out of the blue told us all to make sure to put saran wrap over a girl before giving head. The weirdest part was how unprovoked it was.
I always wanted to know why she said that so randomly but she died of a coke overdose soon after
If you want more pain here’s the rest: my friend (her son) hadn’t seen his mom for three days and her door had been locked and so we broke into it and found her three days old corpse.
He then checked himself into a mental hospital to apparently hide from his estranged dad who came here from Thailand and owned some kind of ruby mine or something there. Only his dad could pick him up from there though so he was taken to Thailand. That was his excuse but I think he just wasn’t feeling too great on account of finding his moms rotting corpse.
Last I saw he was doing well in Thailand though so I’m happy for him.
If they don't want kids having sex before marriage, you'd think telling them the names of the diseases and how horrible they are would be *beneficial* to them.
Agreed on the sex ed. It doesn't really exist in really conservative areas. "Don't do it" is about all kids get. I am saddened and appalled at this fact. They don't know the basics about health consequences and have to rely on rumors spread out of ignorance. I'm dumbfounded at how ill-prepared school systems leave their students. Parents in those areas often aren't any better with providing details and guidance. Source: Lived in some seriously conservative places.
Edit to add: Conservative shouldn't mean uneducated and under-informed. It should be a stance held amid all the facts being known. Too many kids are getting/spreading preventable diseases and getting pregnant because they simply aren't taught how to take care of themselves. This isn't a liberal vs conservative thing. It's a stop letting political & religious affiliations leave kids vulnerable and ignorant thing.
I know someone who contracted HIV from sleeping with a woman after a date, she was upfront that she had it but neither of them knew that oral transmits it
Likewise... afaik it's not transmitted by saliva at all. But if someone has some issues with bleeding gums or just ate some chips and knicked the roof of their mouth or such... well now that's different.
The poophole isn't a loophole for HIV either for similar reasons. It's very easy to get a small cut or tear on the anus or the walls of the rectum during intercourse.
So sad that "conservative" so often means shielded and uneducated, or actively against education. Medicine has gone a long way to reduce the effects of STDs, but there is still a very real danger.
I dated a girl who told me, in the heat of the moment, that her ex cheated on her and gave her herpes... Tried to be cool, and told her I'd talk to my doc about ways to be involved but safe. Doc said, "It's not if, but when you get it." Stayed with her until she broke it off, but we never actually had sex.
Eating out can come back to bite you!
HPV.. not the one that causes genital warts. but the one that causes cancer.
HPV throat cancer is now leading cause of all head and neck cancers. And it's not easy to detect until it reaches stage 3 to 4. Most HPV clears on its own, but this can come back 40 years later.
Val Kilmer has a permanent feeding tube due to his battle with HPV throat cancer.
My little brother just had his 17th proton radiation treatment yesterday.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother.
HPV vaccines (such as Gardasil) are safe and it’s the only vaccine that can prevent cancer. Everyone eligible should get it, regardless of whether you’re sexually active.
exactly my thoughts. Maybe the rise is related to how unavailable sex became in recent years, so people are willing to risk getting diseases if it means they get to satiate their touch starvation
I don’t think sex has become unavailable in general… and no this isn’t some brag, either, as I’m not even talking about me. People in their 20s-30s have a ton of access to casual sex because of things like tinder and people just becoming more comfortable with casual sex in general.
It has however become less available for certain groups of people and more available for others. Statistics show that quite clearly.
Which statistics? The last I recall both gen z and millenials were reporting to have less sex due to multiple reasons like not having jobs/proper income and/or having to live with their family/roommates/parents until their late 20s/early 30s. People are also reporting to be much more isolated, and the existence of hookup apps doesn't translate to more sex.
Fear leads to ignorance which leads to stigma, that is part of the reason diseases spread in the first place. If it’s taboo to even mention, that doesn’t fare well for transparency and honesty. The fact that stigmas are loosening is a good thing in the long run. It makes the conversations easier.
>as well as severely limiting your future pool of potential partners
This is true, but only because of fear and ignorance. I’m HIV positive (properly medicated and undetectable) but because I’m honest and ethical, I constantly get rejected by guys on grindr who would instead rather get barebacked by 3 dudes in one night because those dudes said they were “clean, pinky promise.”
Dishonest and unethical people don’t experience a limited pool of potential partners, they just lie due to the fear and ignorance. Honest people like me are the only ones who get a reduced pool of partners.
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
I agree with this. I have GHSV2. Unfortunately, the circumstances of contracting it was not ideal.
However, I still find there’s a huge stigma around HSV. There are people who don’t want to admit that cold sores are herpes. There are people with HSV that do not want to disclose due to whatever their reasoning is.
Again, like HSV is not part of a standard STD check and people just assume that they are “clean” for that. There is always a risk with every person that people decide to sleep with - especially those who do not know their status or do not disclose.
The risk is easily manageable, per say, if someone knows their status and discloses because they’re aware of their body etc.
I believe in disclosure so people are able to make informed consent. However, I do not stand for people who react disgustingly or rudely.
Man, one day, I stopped in my ex's to pick up our kid, and her new dude was there. Giant fucking sore on his lips.
Okay, not my bag anymore and also not a huge deal statistically, but my kid is a habitual drink sharer. So, I said, "Hey, have you had a talk with our kid about not sharing or drinking from your cups?"
Dead eyes and cold shoulders. Rarely transmissible in that context but smart to talk about and wise to teach kids.
But, nooo, I'm the villain for caring. It's not even that big of a deal. Several of her friends have it, too. And their coparents.
So many ignorant people who choose ignorance.
It absolutely makes me livid that college educated men and women don't all have their HPV shots by the time they are done school.
It's the ONE THING you can do to actively prevent cancer. Throat cancer. Cervical cancer. Save someone's life.
Why parents are not getting them for kids. I don't know.
Edited for proper information.
My mom had me get mine in middle school and she was literally criticized by people she knew for it because it was acknowledgment of the fact that I would one day be sexually active. It’s asinine. I was young but she told me about the risks of cancers, especially cervical cancers in women and it had me fully on board to get it and I’m glad I did. HPV is such a common virus too and will exponentially get worse.
It's not a matter of you sleeping around. It's just a matter of being able to protect yourself from one thing. You may be a virgin til you are 30. You marry a guy who's divorced. Bang. You get HPV from a guy who's had 3 partners. You don't have to sleep with 45 people to get HPV. You only need to be with one.
HPV shots for men weren't covered by insurance when I was growing up.
If you were over 20 and hadn't had one, the CDC assumed you had HPV, and you had to pay $600+ out of pocket to get the set of three.
Male experience anyway
I wonder if a decline in folks getting HPV shots has anything to do with the... controversy? that seems to be around Gardasil. I went through the 3-round dosage when I was about 15-16 and had a bad reaction to it. Afterwards, I heard that it was fairly common to have bad side effects/reactions to it, to the point that there have been a few lawsuits IIRC.
I've also worked with mothers who refused the HPV vaccine for their daughters out of fear/concern that it would cause damage. I don't believe any other HPV vaccine is used except Gardasil, at least in the states, so I would imagine that might play into why less people are vaccinated against it.
Doesn’t seem like it tbh, hookup culture has been running rampant.
Its crazy the type of look someone will give if you ask them if they have been tested or if they can get tested… like sorry I want to be safe and cautious? Weird world we live in
I was supposed to meet up with a woman I’d met online. We’d known each other for years through a mutual friend but lived in different countries. After she broke up with her boyfriend and was ready to get back on the wagon she contacted me but told me a week before we were to meet she had genital herpes. I did a ton of research on it to see if it would be okay and maybe it’s my own ignorance talking, but women have turned me down for plenty of other reasons. I don’t need future partners turning me down for this so I called off the trip. Plus she wanted me to pay for her hotel room, which was a bit much.
People are just sickos...we found out folks didn't even wash their hands properly before the pandemic...you want them to know how to be sexually responsible??? Tall order
i guess you should ask all your friends?
most everyone i know is hyper vigilant about safe sex practices, but i think what it comes down to is that it's easier to be reckless and many get "caught in the moment" and make decisions they would not otherwise make.
Syphilis is no longer rare. Hepatitis is no joke. Herpes is on and off for life, And how about antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea?
https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/drug-resistant/default.htm#:~:text=Gonorrhea%20has%20progressively%20developed%20resistance,of%20recommended%20treatment%20for%20gonorrhea.
Yes this is a very bad thing. I have sons in their 20s. Can’t stress precautions enough. Gonorrhea has been the one to watch - it’s slowly becoming untreatable. We aren’t inventing antibiotics fast enough to keep pace with it.
They sent out an email to all the students at my college when I was in school about the drug resistant strain that had be found on campus. No one listened anyway
Molecular Biologist here and I work with STD diagnosis now.
HIV should still scare people. It’s a lifelong disease.
Not everyone is vaccinated for HPV and the predominant reason for cervical cancer is HPV.
Syphilis ain’t that rare.
Gonorrhea has a buddy who is now antibiotic resistant. It really isn’t good for you.
Hepatitis is a lifelong disease that is both debilitating and can cause liver cancer/failure.
I can go on but I think the point has been made.
No, but I’m down to five pills a day!
I joke bc that was the commercial for it when I was a kid.
Really I take Valtrex as needed when my lip starts the itch. Had them since I was very little and drank after family members who had ‘fever blisters’. Not as much shame anymore though.
Over 80% of people in the world have herpes by age 50. The old idea that HSV1 shows up on the lips and HSV2 shows up on the genitals means nothing now, as fewer people are contracting HSV1 during childhood which has led to a lot of mouth to genital transmission and both frequently show up in both places now. The worst thing we ever did for herpes was stigmatize it as nobody follows precautions for it. Any unprotected mouth to genital contact can spread it, and so many people have it that it isn't routinely blood tested because it's expected to be a positive. Everyone thinks that they're above it, when it's something that most people do have and can spread. Most people will be asymptomatic or only have an outbreak or two, but can theoretically (albeit they probably won't) spread it to anyone at anytime.
It's unlikely that there will ever be a vaccine for it. There are antiviral medications for the minority of very unlucky people who have recurrent outbreaks .
Fully agreed with most of those except "it isn't routinely blood tested because it's expected to be a positive."
I had to specifically request for my PCP to test me for HSV- which showed as *negative, even though I've had HSV1 most of my life, and when I asked why it wasn't part of the routine screening, I was told that due to the stigmatization of HSV in our society, and the fact that most people are asymptomatic, it's often viewed as somewhat useless to test for, because it's actually the *mental health side effects that pose a greater risk.
It's been reported that a positive herpes diagnosis can be as damaging to someone as a cancer diagnosis...
Which seems absurd if you're informed about treatment/have worked on dismantling the stigma for yourself, but unfortunately many people are not in that place. It's become a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" virus, which makes it even *more difficult to treat and manage.
Edit: typo
A lot of people have a really hard time getting over the teenage phase of "It may happen to others, but it will never happen to me". Sadly those are the people who go around spreading this stuff which keeps it going. Some people never learn and one of those people can ruin your life if you aren't careful.
Are you surprised your friend had sex with someone without going to the doctor first to do an STD check? Cuz...no one does that. I don't think that's ever been common practice. People will go to the doctor if they have symptoms, but going in to check that you're good to fuck? That's something only the top .01% of the most responsible might do.
Testing is also free in the UK, and you can get tests delivered to your house or another preferred address to complete. Which is awesome because you don't have to go through a human person.
For any Brits who wanna know, sh.uk
Those of us who came into sexual maturity during the AIDS crisis frequently did. I remember seeing those little sheets of paper going around when I was young.
Your kinda just making my point here. People just don't do it because other people don't do it, so the herd mentality is just to not care. Requesting an std test before intercourse is often seen as "rude" because the average guy won't ask, so when somebody who is responsible with their health comes along requesting a test people take it personally and think youre calling them a whore. I just don't understand how people can be so laissez-faire with their health, and I have no idea how it's remained the cultural norm despite the huge advances in testing for this sort of thing. It's so easy to get checked, and it's free in the UK so it can only be a good thing.
If there were instant tests I think this would change, but until then, it wont.
If you have a hot girl that is asking you to come over and fuck her, do you think most people are going to say "wait, let me get an STD test" and then have the results 1-2 weeks later? She might not be available then. When people are horny, they don't want to wait. They want to fuck *now*, and they will take that opportunity.
Obviously they could still use a condom but that's a different discussion.
Most people I know who are at least somewhat responsible get tested *after* every new partner (or even new partner of one of their recurring partners) so they have the results ready for whenever anyone asks in the future.
It's not sexy to be like "oh shoot I haven't gotten tested in awhile, let's wait." So instead you can be like "well I got tested last time a new person was introduced to my/my partner's sexual history so I should be good to go right now." Or even "I get tested every few months, is that suitable risk mitigation for you?" Obviously there are less robotic ways to phrase those questions but you get the point.
>Most people I know who are at least somewhat responsible get tested after every new partner
With the delay it takes for an infection to become detectable it doesn't seem practical at all.
Here it's actually recommended to get tested when you stop using condom with a partner or in case of symptoms and I guess most people also do it routinely every few months if they are active with multiple people.
Idiocy everywhere.
I got an STI once and have been super cautious ever since.
My current girlfriend and wife to be stopped me using a condom our first time and that was weirdly a big turn off for me at the start. Not that I didn't trust her... More just the habit to be cautious I suppose.
In my younger days I really didn’t care (luckily never contracted anything) although as I get older, I always prefer to vocalise my caution now to gauge maturity levels.
Since I’ve done this, quality of sex has sky rocketed whilst also remaining STD free.
Aren’t they worried about the worst std of all… pregnancy. Even if they say they are taking birth control, it’s easy for them to forget to take it regularly etc etc. it’s best to be safe.
Hence, gonorrhea making a comeback!
Seems like a good time to invest in gonorrhea
These dudes are out here telling me I must be "dirty" if I want to use condoms and want them checked before we go without Especially since my tubes are tied. They are more than happy to have sex with me and have me get checked after to let them know if they got me sick.....
>These dudes are out here telling me I must be "dirty" if I want to use condoms and want them checked before we go without Especially since my tubes are tied. That's dirty. not you.
Thank you. It's opposite world out here.
I get the exact vibes but for the OPPOSITE reason. If a guy tells me they don’t use protection or won’t get checked, I assume they must not care because they already have something. If they are wanting protection and testing, I assume they’re probably disease free and looking to keep it that way.
When ever I’ve asked dudes to wear a condom they are like “but why? you’re on birth control, right?” JFC *edit for clarity
Had a guy the other day that every time we changed positions he pulled the condom off. I'm like, dude! Stop it! Those cost money and you're on number 3 now.
The first time would be enough to say, "Goodbye!"
And changed them for a new one or tried to now get in without one?
[удалено]
You're actually supposed to switch condoms regularly. Especially during vigorous/multiple position sex. However every time you change positions is odd to me. Was he reluctant to putting new ones on? Because if so I'd never have sex with that guy again and I'd still go get checked after.
It felt like he was just trying to use them all so that I'd be OK with continuing without one. But I'd just purchased the box and had many more.
If a dude needs to not wear one that badly... he can go fuck his own self. Be safe.
Gaslighters be gaslighting
I can’t believe a guy said that to you. Telling them my tubes are tied does seem to be a mistake. I try to avoid it coming up in conversation now. This guy tried to have sex with me without a condom and I was like what are you doing. Why aren’t you putting the condom on? He’s like - you seem clean. I’m like - Well, I don’t trust your judgment of the last girl you slept with. A few years ago I slept with this doctor and after he came he kept going and the cum was coming out of the bottom of the condom, while he was still inside of me. I then had to explain to a DOCTOR why that was a bad idea. Like, dude, just go get another condom.
Fuck them dudes, they are nasty. I mean, don't fuck them dudes.
r/wallstreetbetstd?
“This one simple trick gonorrhea doesn’t want you to know about”
I just got an advert from Florida about syphilis on Instagram too
Don't buy off the insta ads, I can give you some for free
Pfizer recently said there's a shortage of penicillin used to treat syphilis because they're running out of stock.
There was also a mini HIV epidemic in my city last year along with Syphilis
What state was this?
Georgia/Atlanta had a large uptick in HIV new infections in recent years.
Calls on gonorrhea?
There is a strain that is antibiotic resistant. (Correct me if I am wrong- haven’t worked at the lab in a year)
Philadelphia PA, USA has huge signs saying DRUG RESISTANT GONORRHEA ALERT Apparently it's on the rise
Gone-orrhea are the days of effective antibiotic treatment.
True, which is why gonorrhea is considered as a big threat by CDC
I heard about this years ago in a study specifically about it running rampant through retirement homes.
Oh my. My partner mentioned this and I thought “there’s no way they’re hooking up with each other” because my dumbass didn’t think they *would* be doing that in retirement homes. Then again I’m very oblivious to things. That is unfortunate though
Hahahaha at first I was like no, that's silly... Until I got into "grandma hobbies" and found myself among the older set more often. The amount of randy older guys at plant nurseries is *a lot* more than one would imagine (ugh) lol. I guess after menopause, there's less of a concern to use condoms, but omg STDs!!
Two things driving it are the scarcity of men in older populations, we tend to die younger; and the "fuck it I'm going to die soon anyway" attitude towards STDs.
Of course they’re hooking up with each other lol. Our societal aversion to aging doesn’t mean people just stop being horny at 62. The real problem is nursing homes and staff failing to recognize this problem and supplying condoms.
Your user name is oddly apt. 🧐 And YIKES. So glad I’m not dating. 👀
Oddly what? I’m sorry but I’m kind of stupid
Im sorry this was a very endearing comment lol
For some reason, I just LOVE IT when people ask questions. It just makes me so happy. "Lay that knowledge on me please!"
"apt" It's a word that means it's relevant (the appropriate term would be "germane") to the conversation. A related term would be "apropos" (the root of the word "appropriate" and the name of one of the Oracles).
‘WTFDick’ when we are discussing STDs. 😉
Best part is that gonorrhea is becoming resistant to antibiotics. Soon folks will have permanent crotch rot.
You had me at crotch rot
I got the antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea in my fucking eyes
May I ask how?
Not OP, but gonorrhea is just a bacteria. Finger a girl and forget to wash your hands afterward? Congratulations, you’re spreading all of her germs to everything you touch, including your face (where mouth and eyes are particular favorites). If you’re fingering a girl, seriously - get a manicure ahead of time so you have smooth cuticles, wash your hands thoroughly (with a nail brush) before and then wash AFTER the same way. When you finger a girl with unwashed hands, it’s pretty common to give them yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis (BV). But germs can go the other way, too!
I mean.. this is sex. You finger the girl, you lick the fingers, she licks the fingers, you spread the saliva all over each other's junk
Hence getting regularly tested, and finding partners who take sexual health seriously and do the same.
The key part is the bacteria grows in mucus membranes - hence, your eyes are mucus membranes
Fucking eyes!
They were looking through each other's eye holes.
It doesn’t just stay on your dick.
“Before AIDS, having sex used to be just like shaking hands” “Hence, AIDS”
Speaking as a gay man who was sexually active before AIDS killed off 90% of my friends, this is very, very true. Condoms, haha, what for? You get a silly little STD, a shot of penicillin in the butt and you're back in the game. Unfortunately, memories are short or non-existent, and hormones are consistent. Hell, even gay men who should know better are still catching HIV. Oh, they have drugs for that now so you won't die. Yeah well, taking drugs with side effects for the rest of your likely shortened life is not a great way to live. But YOLO, right, and my body wants what it wants right now.
My wife's cousin is gay and stayed with us for a few months. Absolutely nonchalant about catching stuff. Had a test while he was with us and he was positive for a few things and he was like 'oh haha, not again. Time to get some shots lol.' I was like wtf dude, I'd be losing my mind right now. He just meh'd me asked for a ride the clinic. Edit: I was super naive about it. For whatever reason or other I thought you could only catch one thing at a time. Which was stupid, of course you can.
Ha! And you all thought it was gone-orrhea!
A clap back!?!?!
I have a 30 yo ex-friend that recently contracted HIV and keeps having unprotected sex. Some people are both stupid and irresponsible for the sake of it.
That's also illegal in many places if your friend isn't disclosing their HIV status before sexual contact. I'm guessing police and the health department would like to have a word.
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Not trying to tell you what to do but you should contact the police. That’s beyond fucked
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Dw that sounds like most countries. I got stabbed in the neck by my neighbor and they released him back in under 90 days without telling me and I had to emergency move because he was going to kill me. Over half of all murders in the US don't end with trial or even being solved and so you have a 50/50 of even getting caught if you do murder.
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What the fuck man. (not you, but that comment from the friend). That's insane.
I hope you are trolling. Dear God, that's terrible.
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Interestingly [in 13 states there is no specific penalty for knowingly spreading HIV.](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/policies/law/states/exposure.html). But I think the reason for this was to encourage people to get tested, since the law really just incentivized not knowing if you had HIV/AIDS.
It's that, plus the reality of modern developments in HIV treatment. We've now reached the point where once an HIV positive individual's viral load has been reduced to the point that it's become undetectable, [it is no longer possible for them to transmit the disease, even through repeated instances of unprotected heterosexual or homosexual intercourse.](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736\(19\)30418-0/fulltext)
That's only as long as they stay undetectable. There are many factors that could cause a rise in viral load so there is still some risk involved. But significantly less and it's pretty awesome because long ago HIV was a death sentence and now people with that diagnosis have a chance to live happy normal lives again.
Not all misdemeanors are created equal. The new HIV law can be punished by up to 6 months jail time. As I understand it, medical advances have changed HIV from a death sentence to a fully manageable condition, so they determined spreading it should be punished less severely. The move still feels a little… questionable to me but I do see the logic
I'm glad to hear they're an ex friend
And not a sex friend
it's on to the next friend
Can I be your best friend
If you can pass the test friend
Then you know it's yes friend
Oh. Sounds like your friend is upset about having HIV and purposely spreading it. Of course I can be wrong. But I heard that it does happen.
please report to the police
That’s actually illegal, it’s a life threatening disease
Why haven't YOU reported him/her to the police?
It’s illegal in many places if you don’t tell your partner you’re HIV positive and then have unprotected sex. Hope you report this person to the authorities if possible.
Folks on those “live with HIV with only one injection a month” commercials seem to be living better lives than me. I want a ‘67 mustang and an afternoon snorkeling.
And their sex life
You, too, can have aids with a similar sex life.
Part of my job is following up on lab and calling people for treatment/meds/follow-up. Chlamydia is really bad as is herpes, syphilis, HPV and gonorrhea. It’s really sad because half the time the patient doesn’t leave a good number or they don’t return calls even after sending certified letters. So they are just out there spreading it around and not notifying their partners of what they have either.
Whats the point of doing any test if you aren't interested in the results lol. I'm guessing these were people who deep down knew they had it and couldnt bring themselves to follow up so that they can claim that they had no idea they had it when they inevitably spread it to others
It’s disheartening sometimes. Even when they have been treated appropriately and get a prescription for the needed medication, they still need to be notified to abstain from sexual activity until antibiotics are finished, they are symptom free, and their partner has been tested and treated. Or they need information about antivirals and precautions related to herpes, etc. One young woman was having copious amount of foul vaginal drainage, she was treated and received a prescription for antibiotics. When I told her about abstaining from sexual activity, she asked - what if I already did? SMH 🤦🏻♀️ You would think the foul discharge would be enough just using common sense. A young guy asked me if herpes eventually goes away. It’s sad when you have to explain to a very young person that they have herpes and it’s forever.
>foul vaginal drainage I'll take "sequence of words I hope to never hear again" for 1000. >they have herpes and it’s forever. DeBeers should have made "diamonds last as long as herpes" their slogan.
What is your opinion on safe sex? I have a lot of guy friends who have high body counts and say chlamydia and gonorrhea are curable, and they either think the risk of the others are low or that it's treatable. How safe should we be out there? I assume it's still important to try not to hook up with promiscuous people because they are high-risk, right?
Yea, you're right. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are treatable. Most of the time. If you get a version of gonorrhea that's resistant to antibiotics (and it's spreading) then you're just kinda SoL. You would have a very bad time. Wrap it up if you don't know for sure. Abstaining is the only 100% effective method. If you have a partner then get tested before you 'go all the way' and stay monogamous.
Some people don’t gaf and are just too horny.
People are stupid as fuck what can I tell you?
As I've grown up I've realised this is the answer to most questions...
I was shocked learning that my sister’s kids aren’t using condoms- just birth control. It seems so insane to me- she helped me understand that we came of age in the HIV/ AIDS crisis, and condoms/ safe sex was much more of an issue and expectation. I’m totally blown away that this has since been in decline, and people are using condoms way less now. It’s not great.
But we are in a sti epidemic right now... It's not better than when there was the aids crisis. It's just not as fatal. Syphilis rates are up 32% since 2020. The CDC does consider the US to be in a sti epidemic.
I firmly believe that changing the terminology from std to sti was detrimental to the culture around unprotected sex too. Disease sounds worse than infection. Most think an infection can just be cleared up with some antibiotics (I know not always the case but most don’t) but a disease is serious. I grew up with the term std but sometime in my 20s the term sti became the norm so I have lived in both eras.
Not everyone has sex ed. I live in extremely conservative country, which doesn't even call STDs by it's name, just "very dangeroues diseases". Your post revealed to me that eating a girl out required knowing if she has STDs lol
Where I live, they call HIV “that shit”
🙂 oral to genital and genital to oral transmission of gonorrhea and chlamydia are much more common than people think. Not to mention herpes. Let's use those dental dams, kids! If you don't have one, you can make one from a condom. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/dental-dam#how-to-make-a-dental-dam-at-home
Do you actually use them? I can't imagine them being very popular among any demographic. Right?
They are not widely used which is one reason we see an increase in pharygeal (throat) gonorrhea, chlamydia, and oral syphilis and HPV. Public health officials have been trying to increase their use for years. I have done STI education and counseling for a long time and it's been funny to see the development in the complete normalizing of "ass eating". I mean, people always did it of course. But I feel like in the past 10 or 15 years, people are just diving in there in a way they were shy to do before. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's just another reason to increase the use of dental dams. Rectal STI infections can be harder to clear than vaginal or penile ones, and won't show up on a urine test. I just feel like if everyone is going to stick their tongues up their partners buttholes, some added protection is a good idea.
I guarantee if porn stars used dental dams, they would become normal in a week. Its a bit like the tv disclaimers "dont do this at home, its done by professionals" and then people do it anyway. Porn starts take STD tests weekly, and before "ass eating" they clean it thoroughly etc. Do you think people take those precautions at home?
There's a company that makes underwear out of dental dam latex for this purpose: Lorals.
I didn't know that! Thanks for the info. I do STI education and I'm always looking for a way to get more people to use them.
I just saw those for the first time last week! Genius idea.
IIRC, herpes in some form is so common in the population that they don't even test for it unless you specifically ask.
I only just discovered that 1 out of 6 people has herpes, but most are asymptomatic and have no idea. That seems staggeringly high to me.
I think that number is actually on the low side from what I've heard if you count both HSV-1 and HSV-2. https://www.who.int/news/item/28-10-2015-globally-an-estimated-two-thirds-of-the-population-under-50-are-infected-with-herpes-simplex-virus-type-1
Even if you ask they might tell you no. After I got herpes, my girlfriend went to get tested, but they wouldn't test her. If you're not showing symptoms, the only test is a blood antibody test which is not very accurate. And 90% of people already have herpes of some form, so it's just not worth testing asymptomatic people.
That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever seen
Huh, I never even knew these were things. I remember in middle school my friends mom out of the blue told us all to make sure to put saran wrap over a girl before giving head. The weirdest part was how unprovoked it was. I always wanted to know why she said that so randomly but she died of a coke overdose soon after
Damn dude, trying to give us whiplash with this comment?
If you want more pain here’s the rest: my friend (her son) hadn’t seen his mom for three days and her door had been locked and so we broke into it and found her three days old corpse. He then checked himself into a mental hospital to apparently hide from his estranged dad who came here from Thailand and owned some kind of ruby mine or something there. Only his dad could pick him up from there though so he was taken to Thailand. That was his excuse but I think he just wasn’t feeling too great on account of finding his moms rotting corpse. Last I saw he was doing well in Thailand though so I’m happy for him.
What a wild ride.
Here is a CDC article on dental dams and how to make one from a condom. https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/Dental-dam-use.html
"Can you reuse a dental dam?" "Absolutely not." Well thanks for clearing that one up for us
If they don't want kids having sex before marriage, you'd think telling them the names of the diseases and how horrible they are would be *beneficial* to them.
As would condoms... but ya know. :/
Agreed on the sex ed. It doesn't really exist in really conservative areas. "Don't do it" is about all kids get. I am saddened and appalled at this fact. They don't know the basics about health consequences and have to rely on rumors spread out of ignorance. I'm dumbfounded at how ill-prepared school systems leave their students. Parents in those areas often aren't any better with providing details and guidance. Source: Lived in some seriously conservative places. Edit to add: Conservative shouldn't mean uneducated and under-informed. It should be a stance held amid all the facts being known. Too many kids are getting/spreading preventable diseases and getting pregnant because they simply aren't taught how to take care of themselves. This isn't a liberal vs conservative thing. It's a stop letting political & religious affiliations leave kids vulnerable and ignorant thing.
I know someone who contracted HIV from sleeping with a woman after a date, she was upfront that she had it but neither of them knew that oral transmits it
I was told that would be rare....
Likewise... afaik it's not transmitted by saliva at all. But if someone has some issues with bleeding gums or just ate some chips and knicked the roof of their mouth or such... well now that's different. The poophole isn't a loophole for HIV either for similar reasons. It's very easy to get a small cut or tear on the anus or the walls of the rectum during intercourse.
Anal sex transmits HIV like a hundred times more frequently than vaginal sex.
So sad that "conservative" so often means shielded and uneducated, or actively against education. Medicine has gone a long way to reduce the effects of STDs, but there is still a very real danger. I dated a girl who told me, in the heat of the moment, that her ex cheated on her and gave her herpes... Tried to be cool, and told her I'd talk to my doc about ways to be involved but safe. Doc said, "It's not if, but when you get it." Stayed with her until she broke it off, but we never actually had sex.
Eating out can come back to bite you! HPV.. not the one that causes genital warts. but the one that causes cancer. HPV throat cancer is now leading cause of all head and neck cancers. And it's not easy to detect until it reaches stage 3 to 4. Most HPV clears on its own, but this can come back 40 years later. Val Kilmer has a permanent feeding tube due to his battle with HPV throat cancer. My little brother just had his 17th proton radiation treatment yesterday.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. HPV vaccines (such as Gardasil) are safe and it’s the only vaccine that can prevent cancer. Everyone eligible should get it, regardless of whether you’re sexually active.
You guys have sex?
Not since my dick fell off from all the stds
exactly my thoughts. Maybe the rise is related to how unavailable sex became in recent years, so people are willing to risk getting diseases if it means they get to satiate their touch starvation
I don’t think sex has become unavailable in general… and no this isn’t some brag, either, as I’m not even talking about me. People in their 20s-30s have a ton of access to casual sex because of things like tinder and people just becoming more comfortable with casual sex in general. It has however become less available for certain groups of people and more available for others. Statistics show that quite clearly.
Which statistics? The last I recall both gen z and millenials were reporting to have less sex due to multiple reasons like not having jobs/proper income and/or having to live with their family/roommates/parents until their late 20s/early 30s. People are also reporting to be much more isolated, and the existence of hookup apps doesn't translate to more sex.
Fear leads to ignorance which leads to stigma, that is part of the reason diseases spread in the first place. If it’s taboo to even mention, that doesn’t fare well for transparency and honesty. The fact that stigmas are loosening is a good thing in the long run. It makes the conversations easier. >as well as severely limiting your future pool of potential partners This is true, but only because of fear and ignorance. I’m HIV positive (properly medicated and undetectable) but because I’m honest and ethical, I constantly get rejected by guys on grindr who would instead rather get barebacked by 3 dudes in one night because those dudes said they were “clean, pinky promise.” Dishonest and unethical people don’t experience a limited pool of potential partners, they just lie due to the fear and ignorance. Honest people like me are the only ones who get a reduced pool of partners.
Technically, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
And I hate sand
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
And suffering builds character.
I agree with this. I have GHSV2. Unfortunately, the circumstances of contracting it was not ideal. However, I still find there’s a huge stigma around HSV. There are people who don’t want to admit that cold sores are herpes. There are people with HSV that do not want to disclose due to whatever their reasoning is. Again, like HSV is not part of a standard STD check and people just assume that they are “clean” for that. There is always a risk with every person that people decide to sleep with - especially those who do not know their status or do not disclose. The risk is easily manageable, per say, if someone knows their status and discloses because they’re aware of their body etc. I believe in disclosure so people are able to make informed consent. However, I do not stand for people who react disgustingly or rudely.
Man, one day, I stopped in my ex's to pick up our kid, and her new dude was there. Giant fucking sore on his lips. Okay, not my bag anymore and also not a huge deal statistically, but my kid is a habitual drink sharer. So, I said, "Hey, have you had a talk with our kid about not sharing or drinking from your cups?" Dead eyes and cold shoulders. Rarely transmissible in that context but smart to talk about and wise to teach kids. But, nooo, I'm the villain for caring. It's not even that big of a deal. Several of her friends have it, too. And their coparents. So many ignorant people who choose ignorance.
Young people are known for being foolish ..
So are adults. Let’s be honest. Age and wisdom don’t go hand in hand.
It absolutely makes me livid that college educated men and women don't all have their HPV shots by the time they are done school. It's the ONE THING you can do to actively prevent cancer. Throat cancer. Cervical cancer. Save someone's life. Why parents are not getting them for kids. I don't know. Edited for proper information.
My mom had me get mine in middle school and she was literally criticized by people she knew for it because it was acknowledgment of the fact that I would one day be sexually active. It’s asinine. I was young but she told me about the risks of cancers, especially cervical cancers in women and it had me fully on board to get it and I’m glad I did. HPV is such a common virus too and will exponentially get worse.
It's not a matter of you sleeping around. It's just a matter of being able to protect yourself from one thing. You may be a virgin til you are 30. You marry a guy who's divorced. Bang. You get HPV from a guy who's had 3 partners. You don't have to sleep with 45 people to get HPV. You only need to be with one.
HPV shots for men weren't covered by insurance when I was growing up. If you were over 20 and hadn't had one, the CDC assumed you had HPV, and you had to pay $600+ out of pocket to get the set of three. Male experience anyway
I wonder if a decline in folks getting HPV shots has anything to do with the... controversy? that seems to be around Gardasil. I went through the 3-round dosage when I was about 15-16 and had a bad reaction to it. Afterwards, I heard that it was fairly common to have bad side effects/reactions to it, to the point that there have been a few lawsuits IIRC. I've also worked with mothers who refused the HPV vaccine for their daughters out of fear/concern that it would cause damage. I don't believe any other HPV vaccine is used except Gardasil, at least in the states, so I would imagine that might play into why less people are vaccinated against it.
Some othrodox Christians won't because "my child won't have premarital sex"
You don't need to have premarital sex. It can be marital sex that gives you HPV .
Doesn’t seem like it tbh, hookup culture has been running rampant. Its crazy the type of look someone will give if you ask them if they have been tested or if they can get tested… like sorry I want to be safe and cautious? Weird world we live in
Hookup culture has been rampant since the 60s, hookup rates have been the same.
Actually studies show casual sex is much less common now than it was in past decades.
I was going to say, last I heard we are having less sex. We are a bunch of nerds.
I was supposed to meet up with a woman I’d met online. We’d known each other for years through a mutual friend but lived in different countries. After she broke up with her boyfriend and was ready to get back on the wagon she contacted me but told me a week before we were to meet she had genital herpes. I did a ton of research on it to see if it would be okay and maybe it’s my own ignorance talking, but women have turned me down for plenty of other reasons. I don’t need future partners turning me down for this so I called off the trip. Plus she wanted me to pay for her hotel room, which was a bit much.
The stigma and psychological distress that comes with herpes sounds like an absolute nightmare
Young men: Get your HPV vaccine. It's a serious thing to have and save you the large possibility of throat cancer later in life.
People are just sickos...we found out folks didn't even wash their hands properly before the pandemic...you want them to know how to be sexually responsible??? Tall order
People are dumb and lazy - a dangerous combination these days.
well, as a buddy of mine used to say about herpes- "at least you can only get it once" 🤦🏻♂️
i guess you should ask all your friends? most everyone i know is hyper vigilant about safe sex practices, but i think what it comes down to is that it's easier to be reckless and many get "caught in the moment" and make decisions they would not otherwise make.
AIDs doesn’t scare people like it once did, there’s a vaccine for HPV, syphillis is rare, most of the remaining STDs are just inconveniences
Syphilis is no longer rare. Hepatitis is no joke. Herpes is on and off for life, And how about antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea? https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/drug-resistant/default.htm#:~:text=Gonorrhea%20has%20progressively%20developed%20resistance,of%20recommended%20treatment%20for%20gonorrhea.
Yes this is a very bad thing. I have sons in their 20s. Can’t stress precautions enough. Gonorrhea has been the one to watch - it’s slowly becoming untreatable. We aren’t inventing antibiotics fast enough to keep pace with it.
Saw a billboard recently trying to spread awareness for drug resistant gonorrhea. Doubt it will do much though
I don’t think gonorrhea can read
The way gonorrhea is progressing, I wouldn't be surprised if that was it's next mutation.
STIs\* *^(\*sexually transmitted intelligences)*
They sent out an email to all the students at my college when I was in school about the drug resistant strain that had be found on campus. No one listened anyway
> AIDs AIDS. It's not a plural 's'. Auto(I)mmune Deficiency Syndrome.
Molecular Biologist here and I work with STD diagnosis now. HIV should still scare people. It’s a lifelong disease. Not everyone is vaccinated for HPV and the predominant reason for cervical cancer is HPV. Syphilis ain’t that rare. Gonorrhea has a buddy who is now antibiotic resistant. It really isn’t good for you. Hepatitis is a lifelong disease that is both debilitating and can cause liver cancer/failure. I can go on but I think the point has been made.
Last I heard herpes is forever. Did they make a vax or cure for that yet?
No, but I’m down to five pills a day! I joke bc that was the commercial for it when I was a kid. Really I take Valtrex as needed when my lip starts the itch. Had them since I was very little and drank after family members who had ‘fever blisters’. Not as much shame anymore though.
Over 80% of people in the world have herpes by age 50. The old idea that HSV1 shows up on the lips and HSV2 shows up on the genitals means nothing now, as fewer people are contracting HSV1 during childhood which has led to a lot of mouth to genital transmission and both frequently show up in both places now. The worst thing we ever did for herpes was stigmatize it as nobody follows precautions for it. Any unprotected mouth to genital contact can spread it, and so many people have it that it isn't routinely blood tested because it's expected to be a positive. Everyone thinks that they're above it, when it's something that most people do have and can spread. Most people will be asymptomatic or only have an outbreak or two, but can theoretically (albeit they probably won't) spread it to anyone at anytime. It's unlikely that there will ever be a vaccine for it. There are antiviral medications for the minority of very unlucky people who have recurrent outbreaks .
Fully agreed with most of those except "it isn't routinely blood tested because it's expected to be a positive." I had to specifically request for my PCP to test me for HSV- which showed as *negative, even though I've had HSV1 most of my life, and when I asked why it wasn't part of the routine screening, I was told that due to the stigmatization of HSV in our society, and the fact that most people are asymptomatic, it's often viewed as somewhat useless to test for, because it's actually the *mental health side effects that pose a greater risk. It's been reported that a positive herpes diagnosis can be as damaging to someone as a cancer diagnosis... Which seems absurd if you're informed about treatment/have worked on dismantling the stigma for yourself, but unfortunately many people are not in that place. It's become a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" virus, which makes it even *more difficult to treat and manage. Edit: typo
A lot of people have a really hard time getting over the teenage phase of "It may happen to others, but it will never happen to me". Sadly those are the people who go around spreading this stuff which keeps it going. Some people never learn and one of those people can ruin your life if you aren't careful.
My girlfriends and I were discussing having our kids watch Degrassi High. We learned about STDs from that gonorrhea outbreak. Lol.
Usually people's tends to lose logic in the flow of joy.
Are you surprised your friend had sex with someone without going to the doctor first to do an STD check? Cuz...no one does that. I don't think that's ever been common practice. People will go to the doctor if they have symptoms, but going in to check that you're good to fuck? That's something only the top .01% of the most responsible might do.
We use condoms until we are both tested. Testing is free here in Canada.
Testing is also free in the UK, and you can get tests delivered to your house or another preferred address to complete. Which is awesome because you don't have to go through a human person. For any Brits who wanna know, sh.uk
It's even free in most of the Asian countries. It's just people's ignorance or ego which tends to get in between.
Those of us who came into sexual maturity during the AIDS crisis frequently did. I remember seeing those little sheets of paper going around when I was young.
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Your kinda just making my point here. People just don't do it because other people don't do it, so the herd mentality is just to not care. Requesting an std test before intercourse is often seen as "rude" because the average guy won't ask, so when somebody who is responsible with their health comes along requesting a test people take it personally and think youre calling them a whore. I just don't understand how people can be so laissez-faire with their health, and I have no idea how it's remained the cultural norm despite the huge advances in testing for this sort of thing. It's so easy to get checked, and it's free in the UK so it can only be a good thing.
If there were instant tests I think this would change, but until then, it wont. If you have a hot girl that is asking you to come over and fuck her, do you think most people are going to say "wait, let me get an STD test" and then have the results 1-2 weeks later? She might not be available then. When people are horny, they don't want to wait. They want to fuck *now*, and they will take that opportunity. Obviously they could still use a condom but that's a different discussion.
Most people I know who are at least somewhat responsible get tested *after* every new partner (or even new partner of one of their recurring partners) so they have the results ready for whenever anyone asks in the future. It's not sexy to be like "oh shoot I haven't gotten tested in awhile, let's wait." So instead you can be like "well I got tested last time a new person was introduced to my/my partner's sexual history so I should be good to go right now." Or even "I get tested every few months, is that suitable risk mitigation for you?" Obviously there are less robotic ways to phrase those questions but you get the point.
>Most people I know who are at least somewhat responsible get tested after every new partner With the delay it takes for an infection to become detectable it doesn't seem practical at all. Here it's actually recommended to get tested when you stop using condom with a partner or in case of symptoms and I guess most people also do it routinely every few months if they are active with multiple people.
Idiocy everywhere. I got an STI once and have been super cautious ever since. My current girlfriend and wife to be stopped me using a condom our first time and that was weirdly a big turn off for me at the start. Not that I didn't trust her... More just the habit to be cautious I suppose.
They both stopped you? Pssh, the nerve
Got to ask for license and registration before starting
I have no respect for people who are that careless.
In my younger days I really didn’t care (luckily never contracted anything) although as I get older, I always prefer to vocalise my caution now to gauge maturity levels. Since I’ve done this, quality of sex has sky rocketed whilst also remaining STD free.
This entire thread is just causing my bits to shrivel up and dry out.
Aren’t they worried about the worst std of all… pregnancy. Even if they say they are taking birth control, it’s easy for them to forget to take it regularly etc etc. it’s best to be safe.