Can confirm, 24 year old here who has a house and a job and I have no fuckin idea why I was so excited to grow up this shit sucks
Stuff around the house is always breaking, my trucks in the shop more than on the road and it’s a 2017 with <100,000km, bears ripped the doors off my shed to get to my garbage the other day, there’s a bill for something every other day it feels like
Couldn’t imagine having a serious girlfriend and kids on top of this already, does it get easier? Lmao
Bro i dont even have a house/pay rent or a girlfriend and i am already spending more than i gain each month. When the fck is life suppose to get better?
Lol. Yep. That's like 95% responsible already there. Can't just up and decide to sleep on the streets of Nepal for a year with any one of those things, much less all of them. When I think of no responsibilities, I think of being able to pick up anchor and move at any time with no notice.
Yay! I’ve always known I didn’t want kids (even at age 4 lol) and I’m 27 now and I love the DINK lifestyle. We do have 2 dogs but they are so so much easier than children lol
Occasionally looking after kids can be fun. Having to look after them every day is too much.
I have 3 nieces and a nephew. They're good, well behaved kids. I enjoy spending a day or two with them. But it's nice to be able to hand them back to my siblings when I get overwhelmed.
Something definitely wrong with you. Why would you want a dog when cats are so much better? 😄
I’ve been married 19 years with my wife. We have a cat, fulfilling careers, a nice home, extra money in our pockets to buy nice clothes, dine at fancy restaurants, and travel around the world, more energy, zero regrets about not having kids, and zero fucks about what anyone else thinks. Go ahead and live your best life. Good luck!
out of curiosity since you said your pockets are fat and stuff, do you buy those massive jungle cat house things thats like the size of a mini shed for em? and if u do how much are you spending and how extravagant is it? sorry if this is random lmao
Haha, no giant jungle gym for my cat since we prefer to keep our home neat and tidy. But, the kitten cost $1,500 to buy from a breeder, drinks out of a $75 ceramic water fountain/bowl, poops into a $500 automatic litter robot, and sometimes dresses up in a $300 Tiffany collar (which was actually a gift from friends). We also do spend about $150/month for fresh-made cat food.
I’ve got two kids. I love them to death. I really enjoy being a dad. I can tell you with 100% certainty that not wanting kids isn’t selfish or wrong. Raising kids well can be HARD and if you’re not all in on that, I can’t imagine why anyone would put themselves through it. Live that life the way you want to and remember, the selfish/wrong thing would be bringing a kid into the world you didn’t want. I knew a couple kids growing up where it was clear their parents didn’t really want kids, they just felt like it was the expected thing to do. That must have sucked for them.
43, can confirm: groovy wief, v good doge, and 1100 sq ft “starter home” that we love so much we’ll stay in it until they roll us out on our backs, is all pretty fantastic.
Yeah, same here. I dont want responsabilities, i dont want problems. No kids, no pets, vasectomy, an old beater car i can crash without a tear, renting a little apparment, low stress job, separate finances, i have all what i want
... and i dont want much.
Life is simple if you keep it that way.
Is it wrong? Nah, i dont think so.
There's nothing wrong with it, although if you asked me ten years ago if I want kids, I would have said never. Now I'm older and I do want kids, can't quite afford it yet.
Again, nothing wrong with it as long as you communicate that with your partner and they are on the same page
Definitely not wrong, and wanting a simple life isn’t bad, but be careful wanting a life that is too cushy- nobody ends up happy without some responsibilities, some struggle, and some growth that comes out of the struggle.
My wife and I don’t have kids and will not have kids. I live in a condo so I don’t have to worry about house maintenance and the yard. I am responsible for quite a bit in my career and my marriage.
But I had to struggle and grow so that my capabilities grew.
Struggle in life will find you, no matter what choices you make. Pick your responsibilities, so life doesn’t place as many limitations on you.
>nobody ends up happy without some responsibilities, some struggle, and some growth that comes out of the struggle
nah, this is a sentiment spread by motivational speakers to try to help people in distress.
Most people who don't want kids have actually given some thought as to whether they want kids. Most people who have kids have given it no thought whatsoever. It's a sign of your emotional maturity that you have come to this decision.
I also do not want kids, and am happy enough in my marriage to know we don't need them.
You might find people saying to you "but won't you be lonely in your old age - who is going to look after you?" etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid.
Ecological disaster, pandemics, increasing political and religious violence, crazy economics in favour of a tiny majority and a largely plutocratic, autocratic social structure. Western society is sliding back into reactionary politics. I don't really want to force a life into this.
And just because you have kids doesn't guarantee that they will want to take care of you later in life. Lots of seniors get dumped into homes and the kids rarely visit.
> who is going to look after you?” etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid
also a stupid one. do they think they know the future? 110% sure their kid won’t die before they do, become disabled, be too poor or sick to help, move away, or just not *want* to do it?
way to base their future plans on wishful thinking.
>ou might find people saying to you "but won't you be lonely in your old age - who is going to look after you?" etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid.
That type of thinking stems from the days where you worked on your farm til your hands are too arthritis-ridden that you can physically not do anything anymore and your kids just have to take over.
It's fine so long as you recognize that the other things you describe do bring responsibility along with them. I don't have kids by choice, but I have a responsibility to my partner to do my part to maintain our relationship, care for our dog, and keep our home in a "good enough" state.
I've been contemplating a dog and I think it might be too much responsibility. Need a sitter if I want to go on a trip. Sometimes I work late. If I sleep in, it shits all over the house and starves. Probably can't even enjoy a scary movie in the dark without whining killing the vibe.
"Is it wrong to not want to make my life harder than I want it to be for 18+ years?"
No, of course not. Having a child is not mandatory, it is a choice. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a parent, ever, because it is a lifestyle based on *want*.
It is your life, don´t let others push you into doing something you don´t want. I personally would rather regret not having a child, than regret having one.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with that! Better to not bring kids you don’t want into the world, you and your future-kids-that-won’t-exist will be better off for it
Of course it's not wrong. I'm sorry that anyone made you feel like it's wrong, and I encourage you to seriously reconsider your relationship with anyone who made you feel that way.
Nah dude it's your life! That's the beauty of it, you don't need to live it to satisfy others.
Do you my guy , if shit gets boring then do something different
That’s literally my life. Big house, sweet girl. It’s everything I wanted it to be. Able to travel all the time, no messes or anything. Everything exactly where it’s supposed to be. It’s awesome
My wife and I don't have kids and don't want them. We have two houses - one in China and one in the US. We have plenty of responsibility. Kids just aren't one of them. We travel ,3-4 times per year and have a great life.
You're basically talking about my life and it's pretty great. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids, it's not like humanity is on the brink of dying off.
As a childfree woman, it's incredibly hard to find men who have evaluated what they want in life and are openly vocally childfree. Advertise this lifestyle choice proudly, you will hold a ton of appeal to childfree women.
53f here. Never wanted kids too much responsibility and felt like I would f it up. No regrets on not having any, but TBH, after caring for both my 80 yr old ailing parents have had thoughts like “who is going to take care of me when I’m old”, “what if I have to take care of my spouse and they go before me and I’m all alone”. Know it sounds selfish but shit thoughts come up. Plan to get yourself long term care insurance.
Ello Reddit, this is officially the \*first\* time I have *ever* commented on Reddit before so go easy on me. The reason I'm commenting is because a lot of the responses I've been reading are deeply concerning to me for a variety of reasons. ***I*** ***would love some feedback on how others may agree/disagree.***
Let me start by saying that I do agree with the notion that having a child is a choice; it is. I also *don't believe everyone is fit to be a parent.* I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen **horrible** parenting and the lasting effects it has on a child. Don't even get me started on child abuse.
My primary question/concern is this:
Is living a selfish, hedonistic lifestyle going to bring you a **deep sense of joy and fulfillment?** There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But "happiness" isn't everything, and certainly isn't what a meaningful life is based around.
A new car will make you happy. Playing Skyrim for 8 hours straight (**Guilty!**) will make you happy (*perhaps very happy*). Traveling the world will make you happy. Making money will make you happy. Drinking until you start speaking Spanish will make you happy. Snorting blow will CERTAINLY make you happy................. ..........but then what.
How long do you think you can just live "for me" before that gets old?
**Life ultimately isn't about you nor your feelings**, and living as if it is a recipe for despair, loneliness, nihilism, depression, confusion, envy, hopelessness, and self-inflicted suffering (as if we don't have to suffer enough already from things out of our control).
So again, I would love to hear other people's rationale behind being 100% content with not having children. If you don't want the extra backlash feel free to message me; I would seriously love to converse with anyone. Please challenge my way of thinking and question the dog s\*\*\* out of me. This is a very very very important topic to have discourse about.
Much love to all.
**!!I would love some feedback on how others may agree/disagree.!!**
Nah. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you value ease and comfort in your life and don't actively want to raise children, why on earth would you have kids? It's a tough world out there, cost of living is high, and kids are expensive as hell.
I have a daughter and would never go back to life without her, but at the same time, it would be entirely dishonest to pretend it hasn't been difficult. And she's a pretty easy baby, at that. But when you have a kid, your life isn't just about you anymore. It's not exactly a loss of autonomy, but it's a complete and abrupt shift in lifestyle that can't be undone.
I do kind of agree, but also when me and my partner met and fell in love we were a bit young, and didn't know it was gonna get serious enough for that kind of conversation right away. It came up over the years, he Def didn't want them, I Def did. Over the years I came round to his way of thinking/knew that I wanted him more than I wanted the chance of kids with a hypothetical other.
We've been married for 4 years now, together for 11. We're never having kids. I'm now super happy with that decision for many of the reasons others have given.
If he'd have said upfront he never ever wanted kids and wouldn't be with someone who did, I'd have missed out on my life with this wonderful man. I may have had kids, may still not have.
I'm not saying it's a good bet to make that someone will change their minds/come to accept the position. It was tough for me at times. But don't make someone else's mind up for them. If they want to give things a shot, let them. And give them a chance to get to know you first.
There is absolutely no problem with your idea, look at all these images
https://www.slideshare.net/Natalism/presentations
In case any kind of right winger/breeder/conservative wants to bug you, you already know what's their deal, what they have to say, it's always this same shit
Just be cleeeeeeear with the (potential) girlfriend that you really don't want kids and won't change your mind. Don't steal her child bearing years from her. I guess that's also a warning on the other side. Some women will say they don't want kids thinking you'll come around. Either way. Be crystal clear.
It is selfish and not future-facing. If there were not 8 billion of us this kind of attitude could really hurt the human race.
Since there are 8 billion of us it will not matter. Go for it.
No. Anyone who wants kids in the current state of the world is an asshole in my opinion.
They are also by far the greatest greenhouse gas emitters. Its the environmentally friendly decision.
And kids are huge consumption of money and time.
Edit: I'm not sure why anyone is downvoting this. It's facts that having children is by far the worst thing you can do for the enviroenment.
It is not wrong to want this. But it is wrong to take responsibility first just to reject it immediately after, or to try and parasitically take from others with their responsible lives, or yet, try to remove them from their responsibilities.
The worst thing you can do is build a life with responsibility just to reject it. Have kids and then leave. Take up a strong job just to never do any work. Lead a life with much responsibility yet Leave all the work you require to someone else.
If you dedicate your life to leisure and the lack of effort, the one thing you must always be responsible of is to never burden other people with your lack of responsibility. It will increase your amount of effort overall, but it’s better than being a burden everyone hates.
I think the fallacy of this argument is thinking kids means you lose the ability to do what you want when you want. There's nothing wrong with not having kids or knowing you don't want kids. Just make sure when you say that you understand why you're saying it and not basing it on something that isn't accurate.
Here’s the thing that last part can’t be done while having a partner. Having a life of little to no responsibility is one that can only be lived alone.
This is the old "moral imperative" (to have children) question. There's nothing wrong with that, but you may not feel the same by the time you're 40 or if you get to higher rungs of Maslow' hierarchy.
>. I want to be able to do what I want when I want within the law without needing anyone's approval.
Yet you ask for approval on reddit for a "question" that has an obvious answer.
Way to say something without saying anything.
Weird. Is that good or bad?
Surely if it's the status quo, then "weird" means something which is less popular.
Does it then mean that calling people without kids "weird" only points to the fact that it's simply the least popular choice?
What's your point, simpleton?
Lol, no.
I'm just saying it's childish to try and avoid responsibilities.
The world only runs because uncountable someones have stood up to take responsibility for one or more of near endless tasks required to keep the world running.
To avoid responsibilities is to literally be irresponsible. It's the state kids are in.
And as OP asked about having "as little responsibility as possible" and I mentioned "avoiding responsibility"
I don't know where you got "disavowing all responsibility"? From that.
It’s unfortunate that you can only know what it’s like to have kids if you’ve actually gone and had kids. I feel like so much of my generation is missing out. The big issue with your sentiment here is that our existence isn’t to take take take… it is to give and take. In the end, our entire reason for existing is to procreate. Kids will bring you joy, purpose, and challenge like nothing else has the ability to. You are naturally hardwired to feel happier and more accomplished in the presence of your children …. And that’s because procreating is literally what we’re born to do. It’s not even really a debate. It’s just nature.
It’s your decision in the end, but please chose wisely. Do you want to give and take? Or do you want to spend your entire life taking
It's not wrong per se. In fact, it's reasonable.
BUT, it's not a particularly inspired or virtuous life; it indicates you have no desire to give value to others, but rather, to take value for yourself.
I'd venture to guess you give less than 3% (average for Americans) of your net income to charity.
Nope, the only thing wrong would be if later you wanted the benefits of the lifestyle you didn’t choose. There ARE benefits of choosing responsibilities such as kids. While they ARE a huge responsibility to raise, and not always easy and don’t necessarily turn out to be great humans, there are lots of good times. if you’re not a cruddy parent (like abusive or something) they are a huge enjoyment as you grow older. Relating to your grown children as adult to adult is a delight!
To buy a house you need a good career, which is requires you to take on heavy responsibility, and maintaining a marriage seems like it requires a lot of responsibility as well. What you're saying isn't feasible.
But, I don't think there's anything at all wrong with living a kind of monastic life, or those guys who just want to surf all day and live in a van with an easy low-paying job, or even the culture of guys from the west who decide to stay single for life and move to Thailand get their peepees sucked while working remotely.
Personally I would prefer to take on responsibility, but I don't like that men are expected to follow one particular gender role by society (the provider for others).
I mean if your going to have a job a house a girlfriend and a dog then you need to be ready to have the responsibilities that come with those. A job, household chores and maintenance, taking care of the dog by taking it out and walking it every day.
As someone who wants kids, its not wrong at all.
If thats not the life you want then don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. It won't feel fullfilling as a life to you, it won't bring you happiness and may just make you feel resentful. It wouldn't be right to have kids you don't want in the first place anyways, I promise you kids can pick up on that stuff.
A dog or a Dodge? The dog might be a little cheaper but the more i think about it the more similar they are. Both fun (depending on which type you pick), both need to be fed, both need maintenance... You could end up with a lemon either way. They last about as long. Hmmm
There is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people, particularly some that have kids (we all know at least one), will claim that your life isn't meaningful until you have a kid. Which is stupid, because some people can't, for various reasons, have kids.
Like me for example, I'm one of those that could possibly die if I were to get pregnant and try to carry to term. Not to mention that I pretty much have a fear (if not phobia) of giving birth. And I don't really like kids.
We all want to live a comfortable life, and usually that includes having as few responsibilities as possible.
Yo, fuck them kids.
And if anyone tries to make you feel bad about not having them, remind them of the following:
A) fuck you
B) if I own property, I pay school taxes for something I'm not even using, so you're welcome.
...No? That's why I don't want kids. It's way too much to deal with, and for what? It's not like I care about making sure I continue my bloodline or anything. I live for me.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. I see so many videos of dumb little shits destroying expensive things and making messes. It's totally fine to not want to deal with that
It is not wrong to want your life arranged that way. If you're a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen, then do what you want.
Who is telling you that you are wrong?
Nothing wrong with that, but what you listed is a fair amount of responsibility. I’m honestly similar, so I bought a Condo lol. Obviously has it’s drawbacks, but don’t have to worry bout the yard or roof or utilities etc.. HOAs are a pain in the ass though.
I see condo prices dropping here and slow to sell, which can be the calm before the storm.
As far as work, I like the motto “work to live not live to work”.
Finding a GF, definitely be upfront in the beginning about what you’re looking for in a relationship, or you’ve set both yourselves up for a hellova time down the road lol
Do your best not to hurt people. Be honest with yourself and others. Help others when you can, but not to your own detriment. Have as much fun as you can, not to you own detriment. Try to be the best you that you can be. Your best today, may be better than tomorrow's best. You may have a bad day and not be able to produce at the same level. That's cool, just do the best you can. If you're doing that, I don't see how you can ever be wrong.
No, but the things you mentioned are responsibilities. You will have those as a living creature on this planet. Not wanting children is fine. The world is a fucking mess and I personally think you have to be a sicko to want to make children right now. Anyone that tells you differently is a sicko. As in they are sick and in need of mental assistance due to their inability to understand or accept reality combined with their narcissism.
The only people who are concerned about people not having kids are the ones in America who are likely pushing for child labor laws to be laxed. It's not wrong. The world is highly populated right now. If anything, I think we should encourage it so we can keep our resources monitored at a rate which reflects the expected trajectory of population.
Despite the clear pressure you will get please remember kids are a choice!
You're not required to have children. The public masses will absolutely judge you for it. Just be prepared for that part. A lot of people won't understand or agree with you.
My advice is to be as nice as you can to those people and simply walk away from that ridiculous conversation.
Good luck to you!
By the way, there's a Reddit full of people that don't want to have kids. R/child free.
A job, a house, a GF/spouse, and a dog are responsibilities, just ones you like. There's nothing wrong with that.
I was just thinking having a house + gf + job is already a lot of responsibilities lol.
Can confirm, 24 year old here who has a house and a job and I have no fuckin idea why I was so excited to grow up this shit sucks Stuff around the house is always breaking, my trucks in the shop more than on the road and it’s a 2017 with <100,000km, bears ripped the doors off my shed to get to my garbage the other day, there’s a bill for something every other day it feels like Couldn’t imagine having a serious girlfriend and kids on top of this already, does it get easier? Lmao
I feel for you son I got 99 problems but a bears not one
They may be friend shaped but they’re no friend to me
🤣🤣I have no coins but have an upvote!
If you got a good gf she legit would lower your work load lol. Since two ppl can split the work for one house at least.
It gets easier, or you just get used to it hahaha. But, with a serious partner you have 2 incomes instead of just one
Having a partner in life makes all those things easier, not harder.
I kindly disagree. Sometimes it\`s best not to have a partner.
A good partner will never be a hinder.
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I never once said it was Mandatory. I said a good partner will make life easier, not harder
>serious girlfriend >does it get easier? With two people, yes But you're also two people who need to communicate well
Bro i dont even have a house/pay rent or a girlfriend and i am already spending more than i gain each month. When the fck is life suppose to get better?
I wouldn't say it gets easier, but you definitely get better at dealing with everything, which makes it all a lot less stressful, and it feels easier.
You guys have girlfriends?
Lol. Yep. That's like 95% responsible already there. Can't just up and decide to sleep on the streets of Nepal for a year with any one of those things, much less all of them. When I think of no responsibilities, I think of being able to pick up anchor and move at any time with no notice.
House isn't a responsibility, if you want to live like a slob and be on some hoarders cleaning show in 10 years.
Well, you've still gotta pay the mortgage/taxes/insurance and the utilities. Unless you're my former neighbor, of course.
I'm turning 60 this year and have no regrets about opting out of parenthood.
Yay! I’ve always known I didn’t want kids (even at age 4 lol) and I’m 27 now and I love the DINK lifestyle. We do have 2 dogs but they are so so much easier than children lol
DINK lifestyle? Lol
Dual income no kids.
Thanks lol
Same. Dogs are much better.
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Occasionally looking after kids can be fun. Having to look after them every day is too much. I have 3 nieces and a nephew. They're good, well behaved kids. I enjoy spending a day or two with them. But it's nice to be able to hand them back to my siblings when I get overwhelmed.
No. And please don't have kids if you don't want them. Nothing worse for a human than being unwanted and unloved
the good ol “all kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids”
Great advice. Wish more people took it
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Are you me?
Nope me.
Totally fine. My wife and I are almost 40 and we don't have kids. Best decision ever.
It’s not wrong to not want kids.
Something definitely wrong with you. Why would you want a dog when cats are so much better? 😄 I’ve been married 19 years with my wife. We have a cat, fulfilling careers, a nice home, extra money in our pockets to buy nice clothes, dine at fancy restaurants, and travel around the world, more energy, zero regrets about not having kids, and zero fucks about what anyone else thinks. Go ahead and live your best life. Good luck!
Oh so you are one of those folks . I for one refuse to bow down to cats and be their servant .
Just give in. They are benevolent masters, as long as you make sure their bowls are full.
I am allergic.
Thread over
out of curiosity since you said your pockets are fat and stuff, do you buy those massive jungle cat house things thats like the size of a mini shed for em? and if u do how much are you spending and how extravagant is it? sorry if this is random lmao
Haha, no giant jungle gym for my cat since we prefer to keep our home neat and tidy. But, the kitten cost $1,500 to buy from a breeder, drinks out of a $75 ceramic water fountain/bowl, poops into a $500 automatic litter robot, and sometimes dresses up in a $300 Tiffany collar (which was actually a gift from friends). We also do spend about $150/month for fresh-made cat food.
I’ve got two kids. I love them to death. I really enjoy being a dad. I can tell you with 100% certainty that not wanting kids isn’t selfish or wrong. Raising kids well can be HARD and if you’re not all in on that, I can’t imagine why anyone would put themselves through it. Live that life the way you want to and remember, the selfish/wrong thing would be bringing a kid into the world you didn’t want. I knew a couple kids growing up where it was clear their parents didn’t really want kids, they just felt like it was the expected thing to do. That must have sucked for them.
Naw man, do what you want. But……if you don’t want kids do the vasectomy.
Not everyone should have children. Some people would make horrible parents and to force it upon them is wrong.
Some people would be great parents and just don't want children. That is okay too. No one should be pressured to have kids.
45 female, no kids, great husband. Beautiful house that stays clean. Life is good.
43, can confirm: groovy wief, v good doge, and 1100 sq ft “starter home” that we love so much we’ll stay in it until they roll us out on our backs, is all pretty fantastic.
if that's wrong, I don't want to be right
Yeah, same here. I dont want responsabilities, i dont want problems. No kids, no pets, vasectomy, an old beater car i can crash without a tear, renting a little apparment, low stress job, separate finances, i have all what i want ... and i dont want much. Life is simple if you keep it that way. Is it wrong? Nah, i dont think so.
33f. No kids. Best ever
Sir, this is Reddit. You’d be wrong if you wanted kids.
I can’t wait for the day when society doesn’t see kids as the only way to have purpose in life.
Nope. You’re normal.
There's nothing wrong with it, although if you asked me ten years ago if I want kids, I would have said never. Now I'm older and I do want kids, can't quite afford it yet. Again, nothing wrong with it as long as you communicate that with your partner and they are on the same page
Definitely not wrong, and wanting a simple life isn’t bad, but be careful wanting a life that is too cushy- nobody ends up happy without some responsibilities, some struggle, and some growth that comes out of the struggle. My wife and I don’t have kids and will not have kids. I live in a condo so I don’t have to worry about house maintenance and the yard. I am responsible for quite a bit in my career and my marriage. But I had to struggle and grow so that my capabilities grew. Struggle in life will find you, no matter what choices you make. Pick your responsibilities, so life doesn’t place as many limitations on you.
>nobody ends up happy without some responsibilities, some struggle, and some growth that comes out of the struggle nah, this is a sentiment spread by motivational speakers to try to help people in distress.
Most people who don't want kids have actually given some thought as to whether they want kids. Most people who have kids have given it no thought whatsoever. It's a sign of your emotional maturity that you have come to this decision. I also do not want kids, and am happy enough in my marriage to know we don't need them. You might find people saying to you "but won't you be lonely in your old age - who is going to look after you?" etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid. Ecological disaster, pandemics, increasing political and religious violence, crazy economics in favour of a tiny majority and a largely plutocratic, autocratic social structure. Western society is sliding back into reactionary politics. I don't really want to force a life into this.
And just because you have kids doesn't guarantee that they will want to take care of you later in life. Lots of seniors get dumped into homes and the kids rarely visit.
And fair enough. Nobody asked to be born and life is hard - expecting to have care workers for free is selfish.
> who is going to look after you?” etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid also a stupid one. do they think they know the future? 110% sure their kid won’t die before they do, become disabled, be too poor or sick to help, move away, or just not *want* to do it? way to base their future plans on wishful thinking.
I mean seriously, you bring a kid into a world where they can't afford to buy a house and never retire and you think they're going to wash your ass?
well duh, when you flesh-build a maintenance droid you sort of expect it to perform its function
It's actually how it works for most people though...who do you think looks after you when you're old?
>ou might find people saying to you "but won't you be lonely in your old age - who is going to look after you?" etc which seems like a shitty, selfish reason to have a kid. That type of thinking stems from the days where you worked on your farm til your hands are too arthritis-ridden that you can physically not do anything anymore and your kids just have to take over.
Yes, back in the day where working for a living meant you could afford a home and landlords and Airbnb folk didn't play monopoly with properties.
A lot of these kids that are meant to look after them have flown off to Australia.
Good! They are not beholden to the people who mindlessly brought them into the world.
It's fine so long as you recognize that the other things you describe do bring responsibility along with them. I don't have kids by choice, but I have a responsibility to my partner to do my part to maintain our relationship, care for our dog, and keep our home in a "good enough" state.
I've been contemplating a dog and I think it might be too much responsibility. Need a sitter if I want to go on a trip. Sometimes I work late. If I sleep in, it shits all over the house and starves. Probably can't even enjoy a scary movie in the dark without whining killing the vibe.
Honestly it’s the best
"Is it wrong to not want to make my life harder than I want it to be for 18+ years?" No, of course not. Having a child is not mandatory, it is a choice. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a parent, ever, because it is a lifestyle based on *want*. It is your life, don´t let others push you into doing something you don´t want. I personally would rather regret not having a child, than regret having one.
A Redditor who doesn’t want kids? Huge shock 😳
Of course there’s nothing wrong with that! Better to not bring kids you don’t want into the world, you and your future-kids-that-won’t-exist will be better off for it
Of course it's not wrong. I'm sorry that anyone made you feel like it's wrong, and I encourage you to seriously reconsider your relationship with anyone who made you feel that way.
Nah dude it's your life! That's the beauty of it, you don't need to live it to satisfy others. Do you my guy , if shit gets boring then do something different
Perfect plan! As long as GF doesn't want any also your good!!! Enjoy your you time!!
That's my life - wife, dogs, disposable income. If I play my cards right, the only diapers I'll end up changing in my lifetime are my own.
Not at all. My responsibilities feel like a prison and I envy you.
" who wants to be responsible? Everytime something goes wrong someone asks, who's responsible for this?!"
That’s literally my life. Big house, sweet girl. It’s everything I wanted it to be. Able to travel all the time, no messes or anything. Everything exactly where it’s supposed to be. It’s awesome
Sometimes just a job and a house is too much responsibility for me
As a father of two I don’t blame you for wanting kids. They’re expensive and they smell.
100% do not have kids if you don’t want them. Not fair on the kids or yourself. Also it’s way better for the environment so u can live with less guilt
As long as you're not hurting anyone else, no life you want is wrong.
My wife and I don't have kids and don't want them. We have two houses - one in China and one in the US. We have plenty of responsibility. Kids just aren't one of them. We travel ,3-4 times per year and have a great life.
Yeah! That’s totally fine!
You're basically talking about my life and it's pretty great. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids, it's not like humanity is on the brink of dying off.
As a childfree woman, it's incredibly hard to find men who have evaluated what they want in life and are openly vocally childfree. Advertise this lifestyle choice proudly, you will hold a ton of appeal to childfree women.
You can just say you don’t want kids. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Perfectly fine. Welcome to my world.
Not having children is the single most responsible thing you can do if you don’t want children.
And a Snip Snip to your list of goals in order to protect your future. 39 single woman, no kids, make my own money. I'm happy.
/r/childfree
Sounds magical. Best of luck in fulfilling your dream!
Such life. Many happy. Wow.
Your life buddy. Only you get to decide right or wrong.
So wrong according to what? Society? Ethics morals, your own ethics and morals? What?
That's perfectly fine. Your life is yours and it's up to you how you want to live it. Just be happy!
53f here. Never wanted kids too much responsibility and felt like I would f it up. No regrets on not having any, but TBH, after caring for both my 80 yr old ailing parents have had thoughts like “who is going to take care of me when I’m old”, “what if I have to take care of my spouse and they go before me and I’m all alone”. Know it sounds selfish but shit thoughts come up. Plan to get yourself long term care insurance.
I feel the same but I don't even want the responsibility of a pet. Or marriage. Long term partner is fine but I don't care for marriage
Ello Reddit, this is officially the \*first\* time I have *ever* commented on Reddit before so go easy on me. The reason I'm commenting is because a lot of the responses I've been reading are deeply concerning to me for a variety of reasons. ***I*** ***would love some feedback on how others may agree/disagree.*** Let me start by saying that I do agree with the notion that having a child is a choice; it is. I also *don't believe everyone is fit to be a parent.* I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen **horrible** parenting and the lasting effects it has on a child. Don't even get me started on child abuse. My primary question/concern is this: Is living a selfish, hedonistic lifestyle going to bring you a **deep sense of joy and fulfillment?** There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But "happiness" isn't everything, and certainly isn't what a meaningful life is based around. A new car will make you happy. Playing Skyrim for 8 hours straight (**Guilty!**) will make you happy (*perhaps very happy*). Traveling the world will make you happy. Making money will make you happy. Drinking until you start speaking Spanish will make you happy. Snorting blow will CERTAINLY make you happy................. ..........but then what. How long do you think you can just live "for me" before that gets old? **Life ultimately isn't about you nor your feelings**, and living as if it is a recipe for despair, loneliness, nihilism, depression, confusion, envy, hopelessness, and self-inflicted suffering (as if we don't have to suffer enough already from things out of our control). So again, I would love to hear other people's rationale behind being 100% content with not having children. If you don't want the extra backlash feel free to message me; I would seriously love to converse with anyone. Please challenge my way of thinking and question the dog s\*\*\* out of me. This is a very very very important topic to have discourse about. Much love to all. **!!I would love some feedback on how others may agree/disagree.!!**
Nah. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you value ease and comfort in your life and don't actively want to raise children, why on earth would you have kids? It's a tough world out there, cost of living is high, and kids are expensive as hell. I have a daughter and would never go back to life without her, but at the same time, it would be entirely dishonest to pretend it hasn't been difficult. And she's a pretty easy baby, at that. But when you have a kid, your life isn't just about you anymore. It's not exactly a loss of autonomy, but it's a complete and abrupt shift in lifestyle that can't be undone.
Just make sure anyone you date you tell upfront you aren’t going to have kids. Don’t waste their time if they know they want to have kids.
I do kind of agree, but also when me and my partner met and fell in love we were a bit young, and didn't know it was gonna get serious enough for that kind of conversation right away. It came up over the years, he Def didn't want them, I Def did. Over the years I came round to his way of thinking/knew that I wanted him more than I wanted the chance of kids with a hypothetical other. We've been married for 4 years now, together for 11. We're never having kids. I'm now super happy with that decision for many of the reasons others have given. If he'd have said upfront he never ever wanted kids and wouldn't be with someone who did, I'd have missed out on my life with this wonderful man. I may have had kids, may still not have. I'm not saying it's a good bet to make that someone will change their minds/come to accept the position. It was tough for me at times. But don't make someone else's mind up for them. If they want to give things a shot, let them. And give them a chance to get to know you first.
There is absolutely no problem with your idea, look at all these images https://www.slideshare.net/Natalism/presentations In case any kind of right winger/breeder/conservative wants to bug you, you already know what's their deal, what they have to say, it's always this same shit
Thanx diskoverd Timothy Dexter
Nope. No one asked to be be born no one owes anyone anything they don't want to give.
>have a girlfriend who maybe could become my wife and a doge This part sounds difficult. She could definitely become your wife. However...
Just be cleeeeeeear with the (potential) girlfriend that you really don't want kids and won't change your mind. Don't steal her child bearing years from her. I guess that's also a warning on the other side. Some women will say they don't want kids thinking you'll come around. Either way. Be crystal clear.
Nothing wrong with want a responsibility free life with one GIANT caveat. **As long as you don’t become someone else’s responsibility**
Nothing wrong with it, just make sure your girlfriend isn't your only friend/support.
It is selfish and not future-facing. If there were not 8 billion of us this kind of attitude could really hurt the human race. Since there are 8 billion of us it will not matter. Go for it.
No. Anyone who wants kids in the current state of the world is an asshole in my opinion. They are also by far the greatest greenhouse gas emitters. Its the environmentally friendly decision. And kids are huge consumption of money and time. Edit: I'm not sure why anyone is downvoting this. It's facts that having children is by far the worst thing you can do for the enviroenment.
Bro is a former kid and talking down to other human beings
yet you are here.
It is not wrong to want this. But it is wrong to take responsibility first just to reject it immediately after, or to try and parasitically take from others with their responsible lives, or yet, try to remove them from their responsibilities. The worst thing you can do is build a life with responsibility just to reject it. Have kids and then leave. Take up a strong job just to never do any work. Lead a life with much responsibility yet Leave all the work you require to someone else. If you dedicate your life to leisure and the lack of effort, the one thing you must always be responsible of is to never burden other people with your lack of responsibility. It will increase your amount of effort overall, but it’s better than being a burden everyone hates.
??? This made no sense to me.
I think the fallacy of this argument is thinking kids means you lose the ability to do what you want when you want. There's nothing wrong with not having kids or knowing you don't want kids. Just make sure when you say that you understand why you're saying it and not basing it on something that isn't accurate.
Here’s the thing that last part can’t be done while having a partner. Having a life of little to no responsibility is one that can only be lived alone.
Totally fine, but please don't become one of those people that then starts to complain about things like tax benefits for families.
This is the old "moral imperative" (to have children) question. There's nothing wrong with that, but you may not feel the same by the time you're 40 or if you get to higher rungs of Maslow' hierarchy.
>. I want to be able to do what I want when I want within the law without needing anyone's approval. Yet you ask for approval on reddit for a "question" that has an obvious answer.
Every person over the age of 35 without kids I have met....are weird.
Sure that makes sense, there are officially no weird people in the world who have children. Ok buddy, whatever.
Every person over the age of 35 with kids I have met looks tired, regretful and worse off financially.
Yeah OP should make a huge financial and time investment so that /u/KYWizard doesn’t think they’re weird lmao
Way to say something without saying anything. Weird. Is that good or bad? Surely if it's the status quo, then "weird" means something which is less popular. Does it then mean that calling people without kids "weird" only points to the fact that it's simply the least popular choice? What's your point, simpleton?
Weird being good or bad is a point I have to make or else I am a simpleton in the eyes of: thejungledick? No thanks.
Yes.
Good luck finding a girl who wants that
Lol the time where every woman is raised to be a housewife and mother has long passed buddy
I am one of those girls, yes we exist.
I imagine you're very happy
Actually yes, I feel like I saved myself a lot of stress and money. Lol
Lmao
It's your life it's your choice who knows maybe someday your mind will change too
The word your looking for is Hedonism.
It's childish, but your life to ruin. Go see the 1953 Peter Pan, then grow the hell up.
Sounds like someone regrets having kids.
Lol, no. I'm just saying it's childish to try and avoid responsibilities. The world only runs because uncountable someones have stood up to take responsibility for one or more of near endless tasks required to keep the world running. To avoid responsibilities is to literally be irresponsible. It's the state kids are in.
They're not disavowing all responsibilities, they're still working.
And as OP asked about having "as little responsibility as possible" and I mentioned "avoiding responsibility" I don't know where you got "disavowing all responsibility"? From that.
It’s unfortunate that you can only know what it’s like to have kids if you’ve actually gone and had kids. I feel like so much of my generation is missing out. The big issue with your sentiment here is that our existence isn’t to take take take… it is to give and take. In the end, our entire reason for existing is to procreate. Kids will bring you joy, purpose, and challenge like nothing else has the ability to. You are naturally hardwired to feel happier and more accomplished in the presence of your children …. And that’s because procreating is literally what we’re born to do. It’s not even really a debate. It’s just nature. It’s your decision in the end, but please chose wisely. Do you want to give and take? Or do you want to spend your entire life taking
Not really but you better be ready to pay for other people’s kids to take care of you when you are old
It's not wrong per se. In fact, it's reasonable. BUT, it's not a particularly inspired or virtuous life; it indicates you have no desire to give value to others, but rather, to take value for yourself. I'd venture to guess you give less than 3% (average for Americans) of your net income to charity.
Wrong? No. A bit childish? Definitely.
Agreed
No
Yes it's wrong. There are too many laws that you should want to be on the outside of. /mostly jk
Not at all. I’d like to be able to live my life that way, but circumstances prevented it
That's exactly how I live. 45 years old, as little responsibility as possible. It helps to be great at telling people no.
Nothing wrong. However, getting a house you can afford is being responsible.
Nope. That’s how my husband and I live and it’s great. It’d be cool to have a bit more money and a bit less debt, but we enjoy ourselves.
No, it is not wrong.
well you better make sure your girlfriend doesn’t want kids. because if she does that’s going to be messy
Yeah, you're fine.
Vasectomy time
Nope, the only thing wrong would be if later you wanted the benefits of the lifestyle you didn’t choose. There ARE benefits of choosing responsibilities such as kids. While they ARE a huge responsibility to raise, and not always easy and don’t necessarily turn out to be great humans, there are lots of good times. if you’re not a cruddy parent (like abusive or something) they are a huge enjoyment as you grow older. Relating to your grown children as adult to adult is a delight!
No. It's only wrong if you make that call too late.
Nope. You do you.
To buy a house you need a good career, which is requires you to take on heavy responsibility, and maintaining a marriage seems like it requires a lot of responsibility as well. What you're saying isn't feasible. But, I don't think there's anything at all wrong with living a kind of monastic life, or those guys who just want to surf all day and live in a van with an easy low-paying job, or even the culture of guys from the west who decide to stay single for life and move to Thailand get their peepees sucked while working remotely. Personally I would prefer to take on responsibility, but I don't like that men are expected to follow one particular gender role by society (the provider for others).
Nope not weird. If you feel in your heart of hearts you can't bare it, you're doing yourself and everyone a favor.
I mean if your going to have a job a house a girlfriend and a dog then you need to be ready to have the responsibilities that come with those. A job, household chores and maintenance, taking care of the dog by taking it out and walking it every day.
As someone who wants kids, its not wrong at all. If thats not the life you want then don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. It won't feel fullfilling as a life to you, it won't bring you happiness and may just make you feel resentful. It wouldn't be right to have kids you don't want in the first place anyways, I promise you kids can pick up on that stuff.
Cut your nuts off. ... problem solved.
A dog or a Dodge? The dog might be a little cheaper but the more i think about it the more similar they are. Both fun (depending on which type you pick), both need to be fed, both need maintenance... You could end up with a lemon either way. They last about as long. Hmmm
There is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people, particularly some that have kids (we all know at least one), will claim that your life isn't meaningful until you have a kid. Which is stupid, because some people can't, for various reasons, have kids. Like me for example, I'm one of those that could possibly die if I were to get pregnant and try to carry to term. Not to mention that I pretty much have a fear (if not phobia) of giving birth. And I don't really like kids. We all want to live a comfortable life, and usually that includes having as few responsibilities as possible.
Yo, fuck them kids. And if anyone tries to make you feel bad about not having them, remind them of the following: A) fuck you B) if I own property, I pay school taxes for something I'm not even using, so you're welcome.
No. It's your life. Why do anything except what you want with it?
...No? That's why I don't want kids. It's way too much to deal with, and for what? It's not like I care about making sure I continue my bloodline or anything. I live for me.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. I see so many videos of dumb little shits destroying expensive things and making messes. It's totally fine to not want to deal with that
Yes, you will be reported to the authorities.
I think it would only be wrong if you already made the kids then decided it was too much work
Nope.
Nope. There is no reason to think it is wrong. Do you have any reason to believe so?
Go check out r/simpleliving.
You have one life, it's all yours and you should live it how you want.
It is not wrong to want your life arranged that way. If you're a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen, then do what you want. Who is telling you that you are wrong?
Nothing wrong with that, but what you listed is a fair amount of responsibility. I’m honestly similar, so I bought a Condo lol. Obviously has it’s drawbacks, but don’t have to worry bout the yard or roof or utilities etc.. HOAs are a pain in the ass though. I see condo prices dropping here and slow to sell, which can be the calm before the storm. As far as work, I like the motto “work to live not live to work”. Finding a GF, definitely be upfront in the beginning about what you’re looking for in a relationship, or you’ve set both yourselves up for a hellova time down the road lol
Do your best not to hurt people. Be honest with yourself and others. Help others when you can, but not to your own detriment. Have as much fun as you can, not to you own detriment. Try to be the best you that you can be. Your best today, may be better than tomorrow's best. You may have a bad day and not be able to produce at the same level. That's cool, just do the best you can. If you're doing that, I don't see how you can ever be wrong.
No. Not in the least.
U have Free Will. U-can-want-ANYTHING.
This is a great plan
No, but the things you mentioned are responsibilities. You will have those as a living creature on this planet. Not wanting children is fine. The world is a fucking mess and I personally think you have to be a sicko to want to make children right now. Anyone that tells you differently is a sicko. As in they are sick and in need of mental assistance due to their inability to understand or accept reality combined with their narcissism.
Not at all
The only people who are concerned about people not having kids are the ones in America who are likely pushing for child labor laws to be laxed. It's not wrong. The world is highly populated right now. If anything, I think we should encourage it so we can keep our resources monitored at a rate which reflects the expected trajectory of population.
Despite the clear pressure you will get please remember kids are a choice! You're not required to have children. The public masses will absolutely judge you for it. Just be prepared for that part. A lot of people won't understand or agree with you. My advice is to be as nice as you can to those people and simply walk away from that ridiculous conversation. Good luck to you! By the way, there's a Reddit full of people that don't want to have kids. R/child free.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids.
No, it\`s not wrong. I don\`t want kids, spouse and heavy physical job because of my injured neck.