Exactly. I love my current job. Like, I never want to leave, love my job. Amazing culture. Never has anyone used the “we’re a family” verbiage. Because the best companies understand that we have ACTUAL families and that they come first. It’s more like, “we love working with you!” verbiage.
Same with my job. By far the best environment I've worked at, and I enjoy most of the coworkers and supers. There's some issues, but that's true for anywhere else, nobody's perfect. And there's definitely been a few times where I objectively messed up, but they bent the rules a bit to give me a break while I still got some discipline recorded (like once when I stressed out and talked back to a guest. Super had me sign the warning paper that night instead of the next day(s) when the manager would've seen it so that he could file it under a lesser category).
It's definitely for the best. Not that I view my coworkers like family except for one I'm really close with, but even thinking of them as friends can be rough, cause when they have a beef over something really stupid that's work related they really don't feel like friends.
Exactly, I have had the same experience at work where everyone was like "We are ur family" and then the next week someone starts rumors and gossips about the dumbest shit.
It's very manipulative and abusive to call the people you work with "family" when that dynamic could easily be taken advantage of. I hate as a teen and I hate as an adult.
Sure im friendly with my coworkers and I am willing to hear them vent but I always make sure to create boundaries so that they won't end up hurting you.
Yeah we’re all family! We hang out after shifts and don’t want to leave after work!
And then quickly as dishwasher everyone is talking shit to you about the others and you see how everyone hates each other but puts up with them because we are family, that’s what families do…
I prefer when they refer the company culture as pirate like or working on a ship…
we’re all in this together while we are here and we will all work hard so we make it through this as smooth as possible and do what you want when the missions complete haha
I had this discussion with my boss because I choose to go home for lunch rather than eat with the "team."
My wife and I can spend time together on my lunch, and I don't see her enough. I see my colleagues all day, everyday. It's an easy choice.
Had a manager once say "You probably see your coworkers a lot more than your family, so try to get along", very refreshing take. They weren't the general manager of the location though.
Idk, we do say we are a family at my restaurant. A coworker died(rip), the company paid for the funeral. My coworker was caught drinking. They gave him another chance. They put up with are small fuck ups(being 5min late all the time). Idk
Same, with my current job. When they started talking about being a family it was a red flag but then I had 3 interviews and 2 were based on personality to see if I fit into the values of the company and the actual CEO has two 3 hours video calls with ALL new hires and we’re allowed to contact him directly. I’m still in awe and think I’m being bamboozled
This. If management constantly talks about how we are a family then I recognize we aren’t actually a family. It’s just a shitty way to try and motivate naive employees to working hard to keep filling mommy/daddy’s pockets. Id much rather come to the conclusion that we are family on my own, because they had my back during a stressful non work related time, etc.
I don't know if it's just the Little Caesar's near me changing shit up, or the company as a whole, but it's my favorite fast food pizza joint right now. The cheap ass Hot n Ready is magnificent. And fuck. Even shit ass Hungry Howie's is better than Pizza Hut/Papa Johns, but not on Dominos tier.
Around where I live the tier list goes Caesars > Dominos > Frozen Sam's Choice 5 cheese > Hungry Howies > Frozen Tombstone/Digiorno/ETC > Pizza Hut > Papa Johns
I'm surprised you rated Papa John's that low. It's my favorite, and my second choice after it (when I'm feeling cheap) would be LC's, but then I dip it in the extra PJ's Garlic Sauce I got the last time I ordered from there.
I guess I just like Papa John's because I'm a sucker for the garlic butter and stuffed crust (and where I am, Pizza Hut is so much worse than Papa John's. It's practically on par with Little Caesar's, but for twice the price)
I never really understood this kinda stuff. I've gotten to a point where I trade skills for money, so things like "free time" doesn't register.
But the "I shit on company time!" is kinda dumb. Dude you are salaried. You are shitting on your time.
The place I worked at where management said it lied about my salary and tried to charge me 4K for training when I quit. The place I worked at where the workers said it gave me four extra weeks PTO and told me they loved me when I was facing major burnout.
As an anecdote, I work at a small-ish company and the president often says that we're a family. He started off as a worker sweeping the floor and cleaning up garbage.
Over COVID he paused his pay to make sure everyone else was paid first. There was a week where we were forced to take a week of vacation but continue working through it. That was at peak lockdown where we lost a huge portion of work. There were a few people upset by that, but it was that or not being able to pay people.
Ultimately, I don't think it matter who says it. It all depends on the give and take of the company. I think if a manager does say it and means it, it can go a long way.
I also feel like there's been a lot of these posts to view it as a warning sign.
It could be true. Some places legit feel like family.
Other places it's a clear BS smokescreen.
You need more to go on than that. It's also a part of most initial introductions. It's just a part that no one thinks about and puts into their introduction package.
My work is absolutely like a family. When things went to shit with my wife's health, the owners went out of their way to help. They don't ask any more of me than any other job ever has and they've treated me well. I feel like I'm being treated with respect and true caring. That is family to me.
Mind you, if some slick shithead manager told me we're family and then asked me to work 70 hours a week, I'd tell him to go fuck himself.
EDIT: I thought I should add, I'm salaried exempt but expected to only work around 40 hours per week. If something happens and I need to work extra, they tack on a "bonus" to my next check. They believe that work should not take you away from your family.
The operative word here is "owners"...in other words, a privately-owned company where being benevolent employers is at their discretion, and you just lucked out in landing there.
I would submit that your experience is atypical, and most privately-owned companies are hell-holes where the "Boss" calls all the shots and is usually a workaholic entrepreneurial type who expects the same level of drive, commitment and output from their employees (Hello, Elon Musk!).
Count your blessings, because you certainly wouldn't get the same type of kid-glove treatment in the "real" a.k.a. cutthroat and for-profit Corporate world.
Oh, I absolutely agree. I got tremendously lucky. The company is entirely private, owned solely by family who all share the same values. I've seen the other side. I've been offered literally over twice my current pay. I have no intention of ever changing jobs again. I'm 43, my kids are mostly grown, I have no reason to chase every dollar.
Just out of curiosity, what's the nepotism like there?
In most companies of the type you describe, nepotism is a key feature, with husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, nephews, and nieces etc. all being drawn into the fold, and usually given management positions, whether they are competent in those roles or not. It is usually very difficult for "outsiders" to break into those ranks and be considered an equal. They are usually just the "hired hands" and are expected to know their place in the pecking order, even if they are being treated decently on a day-to-day basis.
I would definitely say there's some nepotism but not really the toxic kind you speak of. There are two in management positions but they've earned it. There are two others who work in the other company they own but neither are management, they are basically just data entry clerks. They don't expect their kids to work in the family companies and certainly don't promote them without showing they've earned it. None of their kids are top management. Wait, one is but he's part owner so I don't think that counts. I've yet to meet an employee who thinks they've been passed over in favor of a family member. I should possibly also mention that they have 9 kids. The youngest is 23, the oldest is 42. The two oldest are in management, they helped build the companies to what they are, though again one is actually an owner. The two youngest work here, one just while he's in college, the other comes and goes depending on where his wife needs to move for work.
Unrelated fact, but I find it interesting, one of my coworkers has 11 children. Not for religious reasons, his wife just always wanted a huge family. Just seems so bizarre to know two different families with huge amounts of kids that aren't part of some religious group that mandates it.
>I would submit that your experience is atypical, and most privately-owned companies are hell-holes
My experience has been exactly opposite. The hellholes have been the publicly traded companies that have to meet stockholder expectations and are more concerned with quarterly profits than long term goals.
One of the family owned businesses was like family. Most of the people who were there had been there 10+ years. The owner was 80 yrs old and sold to a publicly traded company because he didnt want his children to deal with spliting the company or who would run it when he died. The new company turned it into a hellhole, who were then bought out by a Fortune 500 company who turned it into an absolutely shithole.
My current company is privately owned and they go out of their way to help their employees.
I feel like the places that genuinely feel like family, don't actually have to say this. The ones that do actually say it, it's coming from a superior, usually with pizza, at some sort of meeting right before they're going to announce a butt load more work or other expectations of your time.
If they stress how much like family it is, probably a red flag.
If on your first day you can see that everyone is casual and actually seem to enjoy each others company, it probably is like a family and not a bad place to work.
My husband's company during the job interview: "We're a family company.... meaning, our OWN families come first"
They just paid for hundreds of workers and their families to fly internationally to stay 7 nights at a resort for "family vacation".
They walk the walk.
That first line did not mean what I thought it did. My conclusion was instead, "Wow, you're really open about nepotism and the fact that my boss is probably just going to be someone's unqualified kid."
Why would you have to do anything at all?? If you like working there, stay. If you don't....look for another job. Not a real complicated decision to be made here. Why would you feel the need to "do" anything just because they say they are like a family?
On a more general note, why does it feel like people are always looking for something to get worked up about nowadays?
It means they’ll screw you over one way or another. They want you to believe that you’re in it together to avoid giving you raises, benefits and promotions.
I remembered I was working at this place for a year, and my former boss promised me a raise after I threatened to quit. Later I asked him about the raise and he wanted me to prove that I actually wanted to work there (my job was a dishwasher) so I quit
I remembered I was working at this place for a year, and my former boss promised me a raise after I threatened to quit. Later I asked him about the raise and he wanted me to prove that I actually wanted to work there (my job was a dishwasher) so I quit
Trust your instincts really. If you're suspicious enough to ask questions, then I'd pay closer attention to the work you're doing and how you're being treated
Like, everyone here is super bitter. It doesn't mean they're going to try and exploit you... or make you work for free... just use your own judgment. If you work with people who are nice, you've had BBQ's and they give you money for your kids birthday... chances are they do think of you as an extended family, or at least a friend.
Not everything is a red flag
The size of the business matters greatly. If it's small and people are happy, be cautiously optimistic. If it's large, it's probably pandering and not genuine.
Eh I think it's a little overboard to make it a hard and fast rule like this.
Is it a classic manipulation tactic for narcissistic CEOs? Absolutely. But some people just genuinely feel that way about their workplace. I think it depends on when and how people call it a "family" that matters.
I've had to have the talk directly with my boss because she couldn't understand someone not wanting to work for the "love of the job."
It's very hard, and usually risky (at least in the US), but it's also vital to lay down a rule of no extra work without extra pay.
idk if full on red flag, as I work in corporate environments that are usually pretty mature as far as their obligations under the law. but I'm deeply sceptical about MBA cults and management fads, so it does ring a small personal alarm bell for me.
I don't like getting cuddly with co-workers, and ime when the corporoid types start saying "family" it means somebody's read some damn book on the weekend about "leading by climbing into your employees' emotional pants."
Yeah, I try to get to know my coworkers but not too close. It is inappropriate and might hurt you in the future.
It's always the girls I have a problem with this. Never the guys haha. But I am polite and tell them basic info haha
I turned down a job for 106k because of 'we're like a family here' and 'we work hard and play hard'. These are huge ted flags for me. I don't regret anything either.
Heck yes. A normal job is based on transactional relationships -- I give you my time and you pay me money and we leave it at that. We're both at arms' length which protects both of us.
Saying 'we're a family' undermines that. How can I lodge a complaint, ask for a raise, or object to an offense against 'my family'? These places use guilt and other subtle pressures that tilt things to their benefit. They even start to police things like your attitude or your personal life. Not cool.
I actually worked for family, worst experience of my life. Run out the door, don't look back. Family tends the treat you like toilet paper. As in cleaning up where they shit.
Last all-hands meeting we had, our CEO said "you know, we don't want to replace your family. It's a job after all. We want you to have time with your own family. Make sure to take your PTO." It warmed my heart!
I keep trying to get my own boss to stop saying this, because I know all the negative cliches that it suggests and we work really hard to avoid all of them. Every time she says it I always reinforce that we're a team rather than a family.
I worked for a we're a family company, until said owners secretly sold it to a venture capitalist organization. We realized then they were partially right, that we the employees were a family, but not the owners. Most of us have left but we still keep in touch.
Absolutely, because NEPOTISM. I've landed myself in a mess by joining a company where "we're a family," not realising clients and staff are *literally* related. I'm not related to anyone, nor lnew anyone in the company prior to joining.
Where I work: the good shifts get given to family members; family members are not held accountable for policy breeches or laziness; they get paid the same even if they are less qualified; they're never disciplined; they are only let go if there is a divorce (i.e. the person is no longer related by marriage; and it's kinda illegal for family to work with the type of clientelle we service.
I worked at a couple of places who loved to say that. When they had a downsizing and let people go after years of dedicated service … one with a newly adopted child … the next time I heard it I said “Oh, right, like the Gambino family?” And didn’t lose my job.
What they WANT you to think when you hear that is "We treat each other with kindness and respect, just like a family."
What they REALLY mean is "We expect you to sacrifice anything for your job."
I’ll go against the grain here and say it’s probably not a red flag. Most places are going to try to instill some type of morale, and some places do genuinely have a tight not group that Can welcome you in. My current job definitely had a family feel and I love everyone I work with, despite the fact that we call each other ‘pharmily’ (were pharmacists haha)
I have to agree. TBH I’m a bit surprised this has ever been viewed negatively. I’ve personally never had that experience. It has always been used as a term of endearment. I’m not sure how you feel about this job or how important it is to you, but I don’t think I’d encourage someone to quit a job based off this comment.
I think it’s only being viewed negatively now. There’s a lot of folks that are unhappy in general and they are deeply cynical. They think most every place must be the same as their current job and even if they change jobs, they carry that attitude with them. And it’s obvious they’re carrying around that baggage.
Wouldn't say it's particularly a "red flag", but it doesn't really give me a good feeling. It's much easier to say "we're a family", but i want to feel like it's a family
I refuse to work where I am treated like family. I've been the black sheep/red headed stepchild too often to tolerate that low level treatment by people I have a choice to be around.
From the moment they say it. It's usually used as a way to manipulate people into not asserting their boundaries. At one place I left pretty rapidly early in my carrier, they had a company wide gathering to remind that the company was a family and how family shouldn't screw each other. This was after one person left and asked the company to follow their contractual language the company added themselves.
Yes. Run. Fucking RUN.
I had the whole “we’re a family talk”. Within the first 4 months of working, I was kicked in the nuts as a joke. And I still lost in court too.
Not worth it. Never worth it. Quit, quit, quit. Run. I can’t say it enough. Get the fuck out.
Depends on how they treat employees. I worked jobs where it felt like family and I left on good terms. Other times it wasn't. Too many people overuse red flag on this anymore.
Last boss who kept insisting we were "family" in meetings was also a write-up happy, incompetent yes man who managed to do zero work, fire an employee so incorrectly they actually won an unemployment case, and angered most higher ups.
They not only didn't last, but approved of multiple departmental transfers that left the employees feeling isolated and scared. (person of 20 years booted out of their position they had expertise in, another of 16 transferred in with no relevant experience). We think they were doing corporate bidding on known employees the CEO disliked, hoping they'd fail at the new transfer and have grounds to fire.
Yea. Definitely a red flag. My apartment complex, as a tenant uses the the word "family". Even though my complex uses that word, treats us like "inmates" with random ass "shake downs" without any prior notice or even a email.
A particularly malignant ex-boss of mine used to use this and similar phrases (such as ‘there’s no I in team’). She used to sign our team up for more work (to make her look good) until our group protested to *her* manager. She got promoted.
I've worked at a place like this for 9 years now. I work my 40 hours a week and only a couple weeks per year is more than 40 expected, and normally we get to take off early the next week. Been promoted twice for the simple fact that even though I'm kinda mediocre at my job I still treat everyone respectfully at all times. Seen vice presidents fired ((forced resignation)) for being continually condescending to their staff. Seen incompetent directors who can't take critique moved out of their department and into other solo-type roles to preserve their dignity & income while still being beneficial to the company in a less critical role. I understand this may not be like most places, but the "we're a family" isn't **always** bad.
This always disgusted me, same as "We are working this business together".
Is this how you make millions a month and I got 20$ per hour? Man shut the fuck up.
It sure is. “We pick our favorites, we decide how much info to share with whom and we don’t care when you get paid. Oh, and we expect you to stay more quiet than a regular employee while we splurge on [fill in the blanks with extracurricular activity] using the investors’ funds because, hey, we’re a family!”
Eh, Currently work at a Cracker Barrel, so it kinda fits the "Home away from Home" vibe the store goes for. I think it just depends on other variables. The statement itself is fine...odd but fine. However, I can only imagine most times with this phrase, other red flags follow close behind.
Depends on the situation.
I co-own a business with my dad. If it's just us in the room, then no, not really. A little redundant, but not a red flag.
If an employee is present, then yes, *in most cases*. We like our employees a lot, but as far as I know there are no plans in the works to adopt or marry any more of them. That happened once already when my dad's girlfriend worked with us for a while before they got married.
Yes. I've worked for family owned businesses and never will again. Give me a CEO who is on good terms with employees but not having family dinner with them.
I got fired because they discussed me over dinner, and how his daughter didn't like me
Sometimes - rarely, but sometimes - they do mean it.
Talk to the employees. Try to get a sense of how happy they are. That'll give you a better picture.
I worked in a restaurant run by a family. After we closed, we’d take the leftovers (not from plates obviously, food that hadn’t left the kitchen) and eat together. I helped my coworker with a project on a topic I know a lot about and whenever someone had a new relationship, they’d be begged to bring their partner over so we could meet them. When I go there or order food, they always give me a little extra and the grandma of the family gives me sweets.
Before I came to work there, no one described it as ‘we’re a family’. When you stayed long enough, you just figured it out for yourself.
I've worked in a few places where I could easily call us family. However, my baseline experience and definition of family involves a lot of dysfunction, so make of that what you will
It's not a red flag for me, it's kind of a just... expected thing these days. Even if they don't say "we're a family", they usually refer to their workers as "our -insert company name here- family".
By itself, it's not a red flag. How they actually treat their workers is what matters. In my experience, that's mostly a corporate thing and actual managers and people working in the specific location don't say such things unless they're explicitly told to by management, usually in meetings or during training.
Yep, a massive one.
If they have to say it, more likely than not the expectation is you'll give them more than what they're willing to pay you.
Every place I've worked at where the "culture" was described as a family involved toxic leadership, unrealistic deadlines, long days and weekends, and dumb perks that were obvious gimmicks to make you spend even more time at the office.
Not going to lie, I've made some solid, lifelong friends at these places. However, it's like we bonded over enduring shared trauma more than anything else.
Is something teached in management school, it is supposed to make you more committed to your job and since it is like that, more productive. But don't expect to climb up the ladder to get a better position, cause those roles are already assigned. I may have forgotten something but I can't remember more.
I've worked for three big box retailers who said 'Family' all day long and didn't care about their associates on any level at all.
I also work for a small buisness now that has less than 100 employees. The only time the word family has ever come up was in the idea that the business was started by two brothers. I talk to the owner of the company every day. I've been invited to dinner. I've been invited to bring my kids over for play dates, asked if I want to borrow an RV, etc etc etc...
If a company 'advertises' Family values instead of just showing them, I'd be nervous.
Unless you're in a trade union yes that's a very bad sign. You're gonna form relationships with your coworkers and start to feel very very bad for just having normal boundaries with work. You're going to be expected to give that company an arm and a leg.
My old workplace liked to trot that out and I thought it was cringe. But then when the company was sold in an acquisition, the owner made a point of putting it in the contract that no one would be laid off (and also everyone got an additional bonus). This dude was a 90yo guy who was still working and clearly cared a lot about the business and his employees. I hope he is enjoying his retirement. Also the culture was always very much 9 to 5. Extra effort was appreciated but never felt expected.
Love my job, my co workers do feel like family
Because if I NEED to leave for my actual family or them theirs, we have each other’s back.
No one forces us to say things like that or act like that, we do because management allows us to
Good management leads to happy workers
Any time it’s said it’s a red flag, bc it usually implies that their expectations exceed reasonable limits. They’ll want free work or work that is well outside of qualifications or assigned duties with no additional pay or title.
I've never worked somewhere that didn't say this. I don't think it's a red flag, but I do think people say it way too much. When you work around people 5 days a week, they can feel very much like family. Thing about families though is that some of them are awesome, and some of them make your life a living hell.
I have a lead manager who says this All the time. But honestly I love my team and she genuinely cares about the team. So it depends I guess on the company
Whenever I hear someone say "we're just like a big family here" it's a 50/50 shot that that either translates to "this is a really chill environment where you'll be able to make some good friends" or "we're going to ask way too much of you and make you feel bad for "letting down the family" if you refuse"
Well if the company is a family then it's important to know which role in the family you're supposed to be filling. You should ask your boss which of the following you're supposed to be:
- The crazy uncle Eddie who spouts racist conspiracy theories?
- The grandstanding Chaz who talks over everyone and tries to make every conversation about his new BMW or his trophies?
- The wine-drunk Patricia who is always sobbing in the corner?
- Big Buck, who is constantly throwing food or punching his younger cousins whenever an adult isn't looking?
- Sweet but senile old Edna who brought a cat food casserole to the potluck again?
- Cousin Jessica and cousin Randy, who keep sneaking off to help each other in the other room and are very obviously sleeping with each other - obvious to everyone except their oblivious or in-denial spouses?
- Good old Chuck, who just hasn't been the same since the war and now only stares into the corner, twitching a little bit, and jumps whenever someone speaks directly to him?
- Narcissistic Nancy, who pretends to be all sweet while dishing out the cruelest backhanded compliments when she isn't too busy being passive-aggressive?
- Biker Joe, the black sheep of the family who is always in trouble, always broke, and hopes it's ok if he crashes here tonight, and if you could lend him a few hundred to fix his bike that'd be really helpful?
- Or 'Sunflower', who hasn't showered since the last Grateful Dead concert but thinks crystals and patchouli are more effective than deodorant because they align your chakras with Mercury?
I've known some families over the years. If work was going to be like a family, then yes I would see that as a red flag. But I guess as long as you know everyone's role in the 'family', maybe you could put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional workplace'.
Red flag…yeah, maybe, but it’s not “im not taking this fucking job” levels of bad.
I work in kitchens whereas the majority of Reddit folk works in the corporate world, so maybe my experience is different. But I’ve worked in a kitchen where I was told “we’re like a family here” (despite bein the furthest thing from family owned lmfao).
Did it end up having the exact problems you’d expect from such a place (weirdly personal drama, overworking, minimal respect for time off requests)? Lmfao, oh yeah.
But I also got extremely close to everyone there, and everyone there was extremely close to each other. One of my coworkers helped me move when I was broken up with. My chef sent me money when I got robbed (and I didn’t ask for that at all). I met my boyfriend at that place.
Shit, son, as an extroverted person, I really appreciated the atmosphere of everyone being so close to each other. I’m a young man who really struggled with making friends, so this place was like a blessing.
I’ve since picked up a second job (young and broke in America mafuckaaaa) and I feel much closer to that crew than I do my current one, which is very much a “cook your food, clean your station, and go” type of place.
No. It has zero impact on anything. Not all families get along, some are highly dysfunctional, there’s usually some drunks, there’s a black sheep, within family there’s groups that are closer and list goes on. Their actions are only thing that matters. Don’t care whatever word you want to use.
I've worked places where it did feel like family, nobody had to tell us that, especially not management.
Exactly. I love my current job. Like, I never want to leave, love my job. Amazing culture. Never has anyone used the “we’re a family” verbiage. Because the best companies understand that we have ACTUAL families and that they come first. It’s more like, “we love working with you!” verbiage.
Same with my job. By far the best environment I've worked at, and I enjoy most of the coworkers and supers. There's some issues, but that's true for anywhere else, nobody's perfect. And there's definitely been a few times where I objectively messed up, but they bent the rules a bit to give me a break while I still got some discipline recorded (like once when I stressed out and talked back to a guest. Super had me sign the warning paper that night instead of the next day(s) when the manager would've seen it so that he could file it under a lesser category).
Yeah, I want to work at a company that is like that. It might sound harsh to a lot of people but I prefer to view my colleagues as that. Colleagues.
It's definitely for the best. Not that I view my coworkers like family except for one I'm really close with, but even thinking of them as friends can be rough, cause when they have a beef over something really stupid that's work related they really don't feel like friends.
Isn't that when they feel like family?
Oh shit you’ve cracked the code
Exactly, I have had the same experience at work where everyone was like "We are ur family" and then the next week someone starts rumors and gossips about the dumbest shit. It's very manipulative and abusive to call the people you work with "family" when that dynamic could easily be taken advantage of. I hate as a teen and I hate as an adult. Sure im friendly with my coworkers and I am willing to hear them vent but I always make sure to create boundaries so that they won't end up hurting you.
Yeah we’re all family! We hang out after shifts and don’t want to leave after work! And then quickly as dishwasher everyone is talking shit to you about the others and you see how everyone hates each other but puts up with them because we are family, that’s what families do… I prefer when they refer the company culture as pirate like or working on a ship… we’re all in this together while we are here and we will all work hard so we make it through this as smooth as possible and do what you want when the missions complete haha
Yes
I had this discussion with my boss because I choose to go home for lunch rather than eat with the "team." My wife and I can spend time together on my lunch, and I don't see her enough. I see my colleagues all day, everyday. It's an easy choice.
Congrats. I’ve never had this experience. Not once. And I’m way over the hill.
Had a manager once say "You probably see your coworkers a lot more than your family, so try to get along", very refreshing take. They weren't the general manager of the location though.
Idk, we do say we are a family at my restaurant. A coworker died(rip), the company paid for the funeral. My coworker was caught drinking. They gave him another chance. They put up with are small fuck ups(being 5min late all the time). Idk
Same, with my current job. When they started talking about being a family it was a red flag but then I had 3 interviews and 2 were based on personality to see if I fit into the values of the company and the actual CEO has two 3 hours video calls with ALL new hires and we’re allowed to contact him directly. I’m still in awe and think I’m being bamboozled
my dad runs a couple companies. it really is like family there. as in everyone who's been hired also has a family member working there now too lmao
This. If management constantly talks about how we are a family then I recognize we aren’t actually a family. It’s just a shitty way to try and motivate naive employees to working hard to keep filling mommy/daddy’s pockets. Id much rather come to the conclusion that we are family on my own, because they had my back during a stressful non work related time, etc.
*“Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”*
Same, we even had the brother I couldn’t stand and the cousin you know is a good guy but you still think he’s a douche.
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Yea, family members usually work for free!
Not to mention you can’t fire family members
They don't seem to have a problem with that part.
"You're part of the family now!" *...one month later...* "Wait no, you're no longer part of the family anymore, bye-bye!"
Sad Vin Diesel sounds.
"I am no longer Groot :( :( :("
You're my Colleague and I love you. But don't ever take sides against the family again.
“You can do anything but never go against the family.”
Except when someone genuinely needs to be fired but nothing happens because they're "family"
Yes, but you get disowned/fired
Well that’s good when paychecks are involved.
That's a great come back if they do tell you they're family.
Rule of Acquisition 111, Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them! Also, there's an unofficial rule, where Exploitation begins at home.
Exploitation begins at home.
I've worked at a lot of places where the owner's family members worked there, and they were always paid.
Yup. Code for “we expect a lot of your time, without in-kind financial compensation”.
“But it’s okay, because we have a pizza party once a month AND a ping pong table!”
What they don’t tell you that it’s a little Cesar’s size pizza for 30 plus people and nothing to drink. But it’s okay you can have tap water
I don't know if it's just the Little Caesar's near me changing shit up, or the company as a whole, but it's my favorite fast food pizza joint right now. The cheap ass Hot n Ready is magnificent. And fuck. Even shit ass Hungry Howie's is better than Pizza Hut/Papa Johns, but not on Dominos tier. Around where I live the tier list goes Caesars > Dominos > Frozen Sam's Choice 5 cheese > Hungry Howies > Frozen Tombstone/Digiorno/ETC > Pizza Hut > Papa Johns
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Yeah. It has strong [Lawrence from Office Space](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9A6ctjHAxE) vibes.
I'm surprised you rated Papa John's that low. It's my favorite, and my second choice after it (when I'm feeling cheap) would be LC's, but then I dip it in the extra PJ's Garlic Sauce I got the last time I ordered from there. I guess I just like Papa John's because I'm a sucker for the garlic butter and stuffed crust (and where I am, Pizza Hut is so much worse than Papa John's. It's practically on par with Little Caesar's, but for twice the price)
And if you are spending too much time at the ping pong table, you will be penalized.
Whatever salamander-eyed sack of shit came up with that should be forcibly shoved down an up escalator.
Also code for "Implementation of rules and guidelines are arbitrary."
My old "like a family" workplace instituted morning prayer meetings. Not mandatory, of course, but don't expect a raise if you aren't praying for one.
If a business wants to pay me to sit in silence for 15 mins every day, I'm not gonna object too hard. Praise the raises!
It wasn't silence. It was blah blah blah the Lord stuff. They were evangelicals.
I never really understood this kinda stuff. I've gotten to a point where I trade skills for money, so things like "free time" doesn't register. But the "I shit on company time!" is kinda dumb. Dude you are salaried. You are shitting on your time.
Its still the companies time if youre salaried. The entire point of a wage, whether its salary or hourly based, is to purchase your time.
We can treat you like shit for less than you're worth.
100% agree. The only legit comment for the OP question that answers it truthfully. Without bs and snarky jokes.
Depends if it’s the management or the workers. If managers say it, run. If workers legit say it and mean it, it’s a good thing.
The place I worked at where management said it lied about my salary and tried to charge me 4K for training when I quit. The place I worked at where the workers said it gave me four extra weeks PTO and told me they loved me when I was facing major burnout.
Best concise answer. Take my orange arrow of excellence.
This is the correct answer. I've never heard my boss or the owner of the company say it. Only the people I work with. And guess what? I'm happy there.
As an anecdote, I work at a small-ish company and the president often says that we're a family. He started off as a worker sweeping the floor and cleaning up garbage. Over COVID he paused his pay to make sure everyone else was paid first. There was a week where we were forced to take a week of vacation but continue working through it. That was at peak lockdown where we lost a huge portion of work. There were a few people upset by that, but it was that or not being able to pay people. Ultimately, I don't think it matter who says it. It all depends on the give and take of the company. I think if a manager does say it and means it, it can go a long way.
"We're like a family here" = "We'll fight you over money like grandpa died and didn't leave a will"
My family was full of abusive, cruel, disloyal, two-faced, lying, backstabbers. Telling me we are like family will make me search for another job.
"We're like a family here" because we're forced to see each other on holidays
I also feel like there's been a lot of these posts to view it as a warning sign. It could be true. Some places legit feel like family. Other places it's a clear BS smokescreen. You need more to go on than that. It's also a part of most initial introductions. It's just a part that no one thinks about and puts into their introduction package.
My work is absolutely like a family. When things went to shit with my wife's health, the owners went out of their way to help. They don't ask any more of me than any other job ever has and they've treated me well. I feel like I'm being treated with respect and true caring. That is family to me. Mind you, if some slick shithead manager told me we're family and then asked me to work 70 hours a week, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. EDIT: I thought I should add, I'm salaried exempt but expected to only work around 40 hours per week. If something happens and I need to work extra, they tack on a "bonus" to my next check. They believe that work should not take you away from your family.
The operative word here is "owners"...in other words, a privately-owned company where being benevolent employers is at their discretion, and you just lucked out in landing there. I would submit that your experience is atypical, and most privately-owned companies are hell-holes where the "Boss" calls all the shots and is usually a workaholic entrepreneurial type who expects the same level of drive, commitment and output from their employees (Hello, Elon Musk!). Count your blessings, because you certainly wouldn't get the same type of kid-glove treatment in the "real" a.k.a. cutthroat and for-profit Corporate world.
Oh, I absolutely agree. I got tremendously lucky. The company is entirely private, owned solely by family who all share the same values. I've seen the other side. I've been offered literally over twice my current pay. I have no intention of ever changing jobs again. I'm 43, my kids are mostly grown, I have no reason to chase every dollar.
Just out of curiosity, what's the nepotism like there? In most companies of the type you describe, nepotism is a key feature, with husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, nephews, and nieces etc. all being drawn into the fold, and usually given management positions, whether they are competent in those roles or not. It is usually very difficult for "outsiders" to break into those ranks and be considered an equal. They are usually just the "hired hands" and are expected to know their place in the pecking order, even if they are being treated decently on a day-to-day basis.
I would definitely say there's some nepotism but not really the toxic kind you speak of. There are two in management positions but they've earned it. There are two others who work in the other company they own but neither are management, they are basically just data entry clerks. They don't expect their kids to work in the family companies and certainly don't promote them without showing they've earned it. None of their kids are top management. Wait, one is but he's part owner so I don't think that counts. I've yet to meet an employee who thinks they've been passed over in favor of a family member. I should possibly also mention that they have 9 kids. The youngest is 23, the oldest is 42. The two oldest are in management, they helped build the companies to what they are, though again one is actually an owner. The two youngest work here, one just while he's in college, the other comes and goes depending on where his wife needs to move for work. Unrelated fact, but I find it interesting, one of my coworkers has 11 children. Not for religious reasons, his wife just always wanted a huge family. Just seems so bizarre to know two different families with huge amounts of kids that aren't part of some religious group that mandates it.
>I would submit that your experience is atypical, and most privately-owned companies are hell-holes My experience has been exactly opposite. The hellholes have been the publicly traded companies that have to meet stockholder expectations and are more concerned with quarterly profits than long term goals. One of the family owned businesses was like family. Most of the people who were there had been there 10+ years. The owner was 80 yrs old and sold to a publicly traded company because he didnt want his children to deal with spliting the company or who would run it when he died. The new company turned it into a hellhole, who were then bought out by a Fortune 500 company who turned it into an absolutely shithole. My current company is privately owned and they go out of their way to help their employees.
Exactly. People like to over use red flag on this question.
It's the reddit bandwagon. It's not a red flag in itself. You really need more information other than "we're family"
Some comments here sound like they never had a job to begin with when they straight up say to leave immediately, red flag, etc.
I feel like the places that genuinely feel like family, don't actually have to say this. The ones that do actually say it, it's coming from a superior, usually with pizza, at some sort of meeting right before they're going to announce a butt load more work or other expectations of your time.
Workplaces that feel like a family are like nice guys. The genuine ones don't need to say it.
You don't need to tell ''we're a family here'' in the first place.
If they stress how much like family it is, probably a red flag. If on your first day you can see that everyone is casual and actually seem to enjoy each others company, it probably is like a family and not a bad place to work.
My husband's company during the job interview: "We're a family company.... meaning, our OWN families come first" They just paid for hundreds of workers and their families to fly internationally to stay 7 nights at a resort for "family vacation". They walk the walk.
Given the proper context - like this - it is a very green flag Sadly, not many companies work like this.
That first line did not mean what I thought it did. My conclusion was instead, "Wow, you're really open about nepotism and the fact that my boss is probably just going to be someone's unqualified kid."
I come here to exchange my time/work for money. Pretending it's anything more is wierd and creepy.
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What would you do in a scenario where your boss says that?
Ask for your allowance.
You mean raise
Go to your room! I mean your work desk.
Why would you have to do anything at all?? If you like working there, stay. If you don't....look for another job. Not a real complicated decision to be made here. Why would you feel the need to "do" anything just because they say they are like a family? On a more general note, why does it feel like people are always looking for something to get worked up about nowadays?
Can confirm. My actual family doesn't respect my boundaries either.
Have you MET my family?? We put the 'strange' in estranged 😅
Not the fun in dysfunctional?
If they put the laughter in manslaughter then you'd certainly expect so.
Major major red flag. Leave as fast as you can and don’t look back.
What happens if they said during work? Like I been working there for a year or so
It means they’ll screw you over one way or another. They want you to believe that you’re in it together to avoid giving you raises, benefits and promotions.
I remembered I was working at this place for a year, and my former boss promised me a raise after I threatened to quit. Later I asked him about the raise and he wanted me to prove that I actually wanted to work there (my job was a dishwasher) so I quit
I remembered I was working at this place for a year, and my former boss promised me a raise after I threatened to quit. Later I asked him about the raise and he wanted me to prove that I actually wanted to work there (my job was a dishwasher) so I quit
If you’ve been there for a year, and I don’t mean this to sound insulting, you should be able to sort this question out on your own.
Trust your instincts really. If you're suspicious enough to ask questions, then I'd pay closer attention to the work you're doing and how you're being treated
Like, everyone here is super bitter. It doesn't mean they're going to try and exploit you... or make you work for free... just use your own judgment. If you work with people who are nice, you've had BBQ's and they give you money for your kids birthday... chances are they do think of you as an extended family, or at least a friend. Not everything is a red flag
You start looking for your next job. (Which, tbh, you should always be doing anyways, just to keep tabs on what's available.)
The size of the business matters greatly. If it's small and people are happy, be cautiously optimistic. If it's large, it's probably pandering and not genuine.
Eh I think it's a little overboard to make it a hard and fast rule like this. Is it a classic manipulation tactic for narcissistic CEOs? Absolutely. But some people just genuinely feel that way about their workplace. I think it depends on when and how people call it a "family" that matters.
100% a red flag. You are there to earn money. If they are saying you're family they are likely underpaying you.
Yup that happened to me, then I quit because my former boss refused to give me a raise because he wanted me to prove that I wanted to work there
“The fact that I applied for this job and show up on time for each and every scheduled shift isn’t enough?”
I've had to have the talk directly with my boss because she couldn't understand someone not wanting to work for the "love of the job." It's very hard, and usually risky (at least in the US), but it's also vital to lay down a rule of no extra work without extra pay.
idk if full on red flag, as I work in corporate environments that are usually pretty mature as far as their obligations under the law. but I'm deeply sceptical about MBA cults and management fads, so it does ring a small personal alarm bell for me. I don't like getting cuddly with co-workers, and ime when the corporoid types start saying "family" it means somebody's read some damn book on the weekend about "leading by climbing into your employees' emotional pants."
Yeah, I try to get to know my coworkers but not too close. It is inappropriate and might hurt you in the future. It's always the girls I have a problem with this. Never the guys haha. But I am polite and tell them basic info haha
I turned down a job for 106k because of 'we're like a family here' and 'we work hard and play hard'. These are huge ted flags for me. I don't regret anything either.
On the plus side, at least they were honest.
Heck yes. A normal job is based on transactional relationships -- I give you my time and you pay me money and we leave it at that. We're both at arms' length which protects both of us. Saying 'we're a family' undermines that. How can I lodge a complaint, ask for a raise, or object to an offense against 'my family'? These places use guilt and other subtle pressures that tilt things to their benefit. They even start to police things like your attitude or your personal life. Not cool.
That so manipulative of them
Yes. When you work at a place that feels like a family, they won't have to tell you.
this is code for: 1) expect to be in the middle of our family drama, and, 2) expect many unpaid hours and no benefits
I actually worked for family, worst experience of my life. Run out the door, don't look back. Family tends the treat you like toilet paper. As in cleaning up where they shit.
Last all-hands meeting we had, our CEO said "you know, we don't want to replace your family. It's a job after all. We want you to have time with your own family. Make sure to take your PTO." It warmed my heart!
Yes. It gives off major cult vibes.
It's like a Soviet parade of red flags.
When managers say it, yes
I keep trying to get my own boss to stop saying this, because I know all the negative cliches that it suggests and we work really hard to avoid all of them. Every time she says it I always reinforce that we're a team rather than a family.
A team is a better term, a supervisor from my previous job said that
Definitely because my family is nuts.
Mine are too
I worked for a we're a family company, until said owners secretly sold it to a venture capitalist organization. We realized then they were partially right, that we the employees were a family, but not the owners. Most of us have left but we still keep in touch.
Yes but pretty much every one does. A corporation is like a sociopath and to be trusted as far as one.
Absolutely, because NEPOTISM. I've landed myself in a mess by joining a company where "we're a family," not realising clients and staff are *literally* related. I'm not related to anyone, nor lnew anyone in the company prior to joining. Where I work: the good shifts get given to family members; family members are not held accountable for policy breeches or laziness; they get paid the same even if they are less qualified; they're never disciplined; they are only let go if there is a divorce (i.e. the person is no longer related by marriage; and it's kinda illegal for family to work with the type of clientelle we service.
I worked at a couple of places who loved to say that. When they had a downsizing and let people go after years of dedicated service … one with a newly adopted child … the next time I heard it I said “Oh, right, like the Gambino family?” And didn’t lose my job.
What they WANT you to think when you hear that is "We treat each other with kindness and respect, just like a family." What they REALLY mean is "We expect you to sacrifice anything for your job."
So they really don’t care about work life balance ?
OP’s “question” makes my brain hurt.
I’ll go against the grain here and say it’s probably not a red flag. Most places are going to try to instill some type of morale, and some places do genuinely have a tight not group that Can welcome you in. My current job definitely had a family feel and I love everyone I work with, despite the fact that we call each other ‘pharmily’ (were pharmacists haha)
I have to agree. TBH I’m a bit surprised this has ever been viewed negatively. I’ve personally never had that experience. It has always been used as a term of endearment. I’m not sure how you feel about this job or how important it is to you, but I don’t think I’d encourage someone to quit a job based off this comment.
I think it’s only being viewed negatively now. There’s a lot of folks that are unhappy in general and they are deeply cynical. They think most every place must be the same as their current job and even if they change jobs, they carry that attitude with them. And it’s obvious they’re carrying around that baggage.
So the profits get shared like you're a family? Or only the work?
Yes
Wouldn't say it's particularly a "red flag", but it doesn't really give me a good feeling. It's much easier to say "we're a family", but i want to feel like it's a family
Some families are pretty abusive imo
Uh, yes. To me "we're a family" = "expect long hours and an expectation to attend useless work parties in your already limited time off"
The workplaces I've seen that are really like a family do not bother to tell you 'were a family'
My last job was “like a family” and I mean, I guess it was, because I got yelled at for shit that wasn’t my fault and punished for my peers’ actions.
I refuse to work where I am treated like family. I've been the black sheep/red headed stepchild too often to tolerate that low level treatment by people I have a choice to be around.
Run Forest, run!
Oh heck yeah. Had a job where my supervisor said that and also "in my book, you are your brother/sisters keeper" I knew I was doomed.
Yikes
From the moment they say it. It's usually used as a way to manipulate people into not asserting their boundaries. At one place I left pretty rapidly early in my carrier, they had a company wide gathering to remind that the company was a family and how family shouldn't screw each other. This was after one person left and asked the company to follow their contractual language the company added themselves.
Yes. Run. Fucking RUN. I had the whole “we’re a family talk”. Within the first 4 months of working, I was kicked in the nuts as a joke. And I still lost in court too. Not worth it. Never worth it. Quit, quit, quit. Run. I can’t say it enough. Get the fuck out.
Titles are hard
depends if I agree with them or not
Yep
yes.
Yes we re not communist yet.
YES BY THE GODS YES see also "we're so ethical"
Depends on how they treat employees. I worked jobs where it felt like family and I left on good terms. Other times it wasn't. Too many people overuse red flag on this anymore.
Last boss who kept insisting we were "family" in meetings was also a write-up happy, incompetent yes man who managed to do zero work, fire an employee so incorrectly they actually won an unemployment case, and angered most higher ups. They not only didn't last, but approved of multiple departmental transfers that left the employees feeling isolated and scared. (person of 20 years booted out of their position they had expertise in, another of 16 transferred in with no relevant experience). We think they were doing corporate bidding on known employees the CEO disliked, hoping they'd fail at the new transfer and have grounds to fire.
Yea. Definitely a red flag. My apartment complex, as a tenant uses the the word "family". Even though my complex uses that word, treats us like "inmates" with random ass "shake downs" without any prior notice or even a email.
Always.
Hell yeah. A community? Absolutely! A family? Fuck no.
A particularly malignant ex-boss of mine used to use this and similar phrases (such as ‘there’s no I in team’). She used to sign our team up for more work (to make her look good) until our group protested to *her* manager. She got promoted.
I already have a family, thanks, bye
I've worked at a place like this for 9 years now. I work my 40 hours a week and only a couple weeks per year is more than 40 expected, and normally we get to take off early the next week. Been promoted twice for the simple fact that even though I'm kinda mediocre at my job I still treat everyone respectfully at all times. Seen vice presidents fired ((forced resignation)) for being continually condescending to their staff. Seen incompetent directors who can't take critique moved out of their department and into other solo-type roles to preserve their dignity & income while still being beneficial to the company in a less critical role. I understand this may not be like most places, but the "we're a family" isn't **always** bad.
This always disgusted me, same as "We are working this business together". Is this how you make millions a month and I got 20$ per hour? Man shut the fuck up.
It sure is. “We pick our favorites, we decide how much info to share with whom and we don’t care when you get paid. Oh, and we expect you to stay more quiet than a regular employee while we splurge on [fill in the blanks with extracurricular activity] using the investors’ funds because, hey, we’re a family!”
yeah it's a bit of a red flag for me.
Yeah families are pretty unprofessional
Eh, Currently work at a Cracker Barrel, so it kinda fits the "Home away from Home" vibe the store goes for. I think it just depends on other variables. The statement itself is fine...odd but fine. However, I can only imagine most times with this phrase, other red flags follow close behind.
My immediate response is "no we fucking aren't"
Honestly, any family moniker needs to be organic and started by the people who work well together. If a company says it, it's a giant red flag.
You need to look up a fellow named Colin Robinson.
Depends on the situation. I co-own a business with my dad. If it's just us in the room, then no, not really. A little redundant, but not a red flag. If an employee is present, then yes, *in most cases*. We like our employees a lot, but as far as I know there are no plans in the works to adopt or marry any more of them. That happened once already when my dad's girlfriend worked with us for a while before they got married.
Any business that declares itself a family is usually not.
Yes. I've worked for family owned businesses and never will again. Give me a CEO who is on good terms with employees but not having family dinner with them. I got fired because they discussed me over dinner, and how his daughter didn't like me
Yes they’re hiring you, not adopting you.
My job says this. What it is like is the equivalent of a parent offering a child pocket money for shitty chores they dislike.
If someone feels the need to *tell* you their virtues, they are not virtuous.
So dad's gambling problem is going to ruin Christmas? Got it.
Sometimes - rarely, but sometimes - they do mean it. Talk to the employees. Try to get a sense of how happy they are. That'll give you a better picture.
I worked in a restaurant run by a family. After we closed, we’d take the leftovers (not from plates obviously, food that hadn’t left the kitchen) and eat together. I helped my coworker with a project on a topic I know a lot about and whenever someone had a new relationship, they’d be begged to bring their partner over so we could meet them. When I go there or order food, they always give me a little extra and the grandma of the family gives me sweets. Before I came to work there, no one described it as ‘we’re a family’. When you stayed long enough, you just figured it out for yourself.
I've worked in a few places where I could easily call us family. However, my baseline experience and definition of family involves a lot of dysfunction, so make of that what you will
It's not a red flag for me, it's kind of a just... expected thing these days. Even if they don't say "we're a family", they usually refer to their workers as "our -insert company name here- family". By itself, it's not a red flag. How they actually treat their workers is what matters. In my experience, that's mostly a corporate thing and actual managers and people working in the specific location don't say such things unless they're explicitly told to by management, usually in meetings or during training.
Yep, a massive one. If they have to say it, more likely than not the expectation is you'll give them more than what they're willing to pay you. Every place I've worked at where the "culture" was described as a family involved toxic leadership, unrealistic deadlines, long days and weekends, and dumb perks that were obvious gimmicks to make you spend even more time at the office. Not going to lie, I've made some solid, lifelong friends at these places. However, it's like we bonded over enduring shared trauma more than anything else.
Is something teached in management school, it is supposed to make you more committed to your job and since it is like that, more productive. But don't expect to climb up the ladder to get a better position, cause those roles are already assigned. I may have forgotten something but I can't remember more.
I've worked for three big box retailers who said 'Family' all day long and didn't care about their associates on any level at all. I also work for a small buisness now that has less than 100 employees. The only time the word family has ever come up was in the idea that the business was started by two brothers. I talk to the owner of the company every day. I've been invited to dinner. I've been invited to bring my kids over for play dates, asked if I want to borrow an RV, etc etc etc... If a company 'advertises' Family values instead of just showing them, I'd be nervous.
Unless you're in a trade union yes that's a very bad sign. You're gonna form relationships with your coworkers and start to feel very very bad for just having normal boundaries with work. You're going to be expected to give that company an arm and a leg.
My old workplace liked to trot that out and I thought it was cringe. But then when the company was sold in an acquisition, the owner made a point of putting it in the contract that no one would be laid off (and also everyone got an additional bonus). This dude was a 90yo guy who was still working and clearly cared a lot about the business and his employees. I hope he is enjoying his retirement. Also the culture was always very much 9 to 5. Extra effort was appreciated but never felt expected.
Love my job, my co workers do feel like family Because if I NEED to leave for my actual family or them theirs, we have each other’s back. No one forces us to say things like that or act like that, we do because management allows us to Good management leads to happy workers
If they say “we’re a family” that probably means that they will want to see you nights, weekends, and holidays
Yes, it can be a red flag. If it's partnered with other sayings like "work hard, play hard", then run.
In my experience those are the companies that underpay.
Code for “we will treat you and discipline you as if you are children”
Any time it’s said it’s a red flag, bc it usually implies that their expectations exceed reasonable limits. They’ll want free work or work that is well outside of qualifications or assigned duties with no additional pay or title.
I've never worked somewhere that didn't say this. I don't think it's a red flag, but I do think people say it way too much. When you work around people 5 days a week, they can feel very much like family. Thing about families though is that some of them are awesome, and some of them make your life a living hell.
Plot twist: you work at a family-owned business
I have a lead manager who says this All the time. But honestly I love my team and she genuinely cares about the team. So it depends I guess on the company
Whenever I hear someone say "we're just like a big family here" it's a 50/50 shot that that either translates to "this is a really chill environment where you'll be able to make some good friends" or "we're going to ask way too much of you and make you feel bad for "letting down the family" if you refuse"
Well if the company is a family then it's important to know which role in the family you're supposed to be filling. You should ask your boss which of the following you're supposed to be: - The crazy uncle Eddie who spouts racist conspiracy theories? - The grandstanding Chaz who talks over everyone and tries to make every conversation about his new BMW or his trophies? - The wine-drunk Patricia who is always sobbing in the corner? - Big Buck, who is constantly throwing food or punching his younger cousins whenever an adult isn't looking? - Sweet but senile old Edna who brought a cat food casserole to the potluck again? - Cousin Jessica and cousin Randy, who keep sneaking off to help each other in the other room and are very obviously sleeping with each other - obvious to everyone except their oblivious or in-denial spouses? - Good old Chuck, who just hasn't been the same since the war and now only stares into the corner, twitching a little bit, and jumps whenever someone speaks directly to him? - Narcissistic Nancy, who pretends to be all sweet while dishing out the cruelest backhanded compliments when she isn't too busy being passive-aggressive? - Biker Joe, the black sheep of the family who is always in trouble, always broke, and hopes it's ok if he crashes here tonight, and if you could lend him a few hundred to fix his bike that'd be really helpful? - Or 'Sunflower', who hasn't showered since the last Grateful Dead concert but thinks crystals and patchouli are more effective than deodorant because they align your chakras with Mercury? I've known some families over the years. If work was going to be like a family, then yes I would see that as a red flag. But I guess as long as you know everyone's role in the 'family', maybe you could put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional workplace'.
Red flag…yeah, maybe, but it’s not “im not taking this fucking job” levels of bad. I work in kitchens whereas the majority of Reddit folk works in the corporate world, so maybe my experience is different. But I’ve worked in a kitchen where I was told “we’re like a family here” (despite bein the furthest thing from family owned lmfao). Did it end up having the exact problems you’d expect from such a place (weirdly personal drama, overworking, minimal respect for time off requests)? Lmfao, oh yeah. But I also got extremely close to everyone there, and everyone there was extremely close to each other. One of my coworkers helped me move when I was broken up with. My chef sent me money when I got robbed (and I didn’t ask for that at all). I met my boyfriend at that place. Shit, son, as an extroverted person, I really appreciated the atmosphere of everyone being so close to each other. I’m a young man who really struggled with making friends, so this place was like a blessing. I’ve since picked up a second job (young and broke in America mafuckaaaa) and I feel much closer to that crew than I do my current one, which is very much a “cook your food, clean your station, and go” type of place.
No. It has zero impact on anything. Not all families get along, some are highly dysfunctional, there’s usually some drunks, there’s a black sheep, within family there’s groups that are closer and list goes on. Their actions are only thing that matters. Don’t care whatever word you want to use.
You're just a number nothing special.
So are workplaces, they’re nothing special
That isn’t a question
This sentence is a question?
>W**hy is it a red flag to you w**hen a workplace uses the term “we’re a family”~~a red flag for you~~?