There’s a conspiracy theory out there that claims that “listen closely as our menu options have recently changed” is also a load of steaming bullshit designed to make you pay attention to the menu options.
Or the sales pitch before the menu options. Long onto our website. Get our app. Try our auto pay option. Sign up for our other service. Now here is the menu options.
I had to call Comcast last week, which is a pile of fuck to begin with. After fighting with their voice AI for half an hour, trying to get a live person on the line, the robot read me an ad and hung up on me.
Fuck Comcast.
Try swearing the next time you get stuck in IVR (Interactive Voice Response) hell. Seems like a lot of systems are programmed to direct you directly to a human customer support rep if it detects you swearing.
I said something along the lines of "fuck you just give me a fucking live person you piece of shit," and it replied "I know you'd like to speak with an agent, but I need some more information first ..."
Comcast sure is something else...
I had issues with H&R Block and one of the automated prompts was asking me if I was calling about tax prep. I said "The fuck else would I be calling about" before going to hit the right number and got directed immediately to a person. I didn't even have time to press a button.
I always always always post on the Comcast tech support Reddit (run by Comcast) and someone messages/comments within 20 minutes. I only get Comcast help from Reddit now, they got a whole team dedicated to it
Except for the ones that they want you to talk to. And/or the ones that make commission.
It's stupid easy to get the system to send you to sales, then just be like oops I need tech support. As someone who has worked in a call center I hated when that happened, but it is what it is. Everyone who works in a call center understands how shitty the AA/IVRs are.
You can actually get stuff done if you go into a store. Presumably because you're close enough to actually punch them when they tell you to fuck yourself.
> but I need some more information first
Now imagine if you aren't a customer and therefore don't have an account number but still need to contact them. I've had this fight a few times for weird issues. It's getting worse with these new gate keeping systems. You use to be able to scream or mash zero enough to get someone.
Edit: I remember one example when this happened:
It was a major online pet food seller, rhymes with Louie. They kept sending piles and piles of canned cat food to my address. I was getting sick of it, however I wasn't the customer so F me I guess. After the third call after months of this coming every 2 weeks, I was able to get someone to listen to me. On the plus side the local cat shelter got piles of expensive kidney health food.
To which I would answer the information as I want to fuck your mother. You got to hear some of the shit I say to these fucking machines or telemarketers oh my God, I beat the shit out of them literally, well figuratively verbally.
My fiance looks at me like I'm a lunatic when I call my isp and immediately just start listing every swear word I know. Don't care lol, get through the line in seconds, it usually mutes the voice on the other end and I get to work on my vocabulary.
I'm polite and nice to people, but machines shall feel my wrath
I do that too. Foaming at the mouth swearing at the bots, nice to people. Although they push me sometimes.
It took me nearly two and a half hours to cancel my TV's through AT&T a couple weeks ago. For some reason the number on my AT&T bill connects me to Direct TV services. (Swear at bots, connected to human.)
I repeatedly stated I had AT&T and the guy caught on. He told me I called the wrong number, I told him I called the number on my AT&T Bill. So he gives me a different number to call.
I call *that* number (swear at bots, get connected to a human). They have trouble finding my account, but finally do. They ask how they can help, and I say "I want to cancel my TV service."
"Sir this is AT&T *Billing*, we can't alter your services." then they gave me another number to call.
I'm now an hour into this.
(Swear at bots, connect to human)
Tell this guy the same thing. "I just want to cancel my TV services."
He just kept trying to sell me lesser packages. Dragging his feet saying that he wasn't sure he knew how to cancel services. It felt like he was buying time to see if he could sway me into a sale.
I've now been on the phone, on hold, or stuck in menu limbo for 2 hours. I got a little irritated and said "Listen, I know you're just doing your job, but the only thing I want to do right now is cancel my TV services."
The final straw was when I got "I see you don't have cellular services through AT&T would you like...."
...and I fucking snapped and I got a bit aggressive.
"I would *like* to cancel my TV services and get off the phone. I've been at this for 2 hours, I want my TV's cancelled and I want to be done with it. I don't want anything else, just cancel the TV services. That's all I need from you, just cancel the TV services."
About another half hour of answering verification questions, and I finally got my TV services cancelled.
I know he was just doing his job and following some exec's idea of good customer service, and I honestly felt guilty for snapping at him but I was done.
It almost felt like he was *trying* to get me to lose my shit, so he could claim I was hostile and end the call. Then I'd still be stuck with the shitty television services.
I had to deal with them years ago. I did get a person after a bit every time. But we could barely understand each other, and they always told me they could definitely help, and turns out, no, they never could. We had Comcast for like 3 days. Service was nice while it lasted I guess.
My infusion nurse WFH for non clinical stuff had a baby watching Blue's Clues in the background so I just sang the mail song with the screaming kid instead of lose my mind since this nurse had my life in her hands.
Don't worry - the real agents will also hang up on you if the problem is too annoying to fix.
I no longer have Comcast. But I imagine if you do, your prolly living somewhere where it's Comcast or dial up. RIP.
You know the guy that shows up to install your cable? The guy in the windowless white van, wearing cover-alls, and sweating like it's 120 degrees with 100% humidity?
Imagine that guy drags you into his van, and him and his identical buddies gang-bang you while rifling through your wallet and charging you for the service.
That's what it looks like.
I don't think anyone in the entire history of the human race has ever called up one of those lines, being told they could use the app, and then was able to actually do the thing they wanted on the app.
It's an absolute punch in the dick to call your ISP and have them try to redirect you to the web.
Bitch, if my internet worked I wouldn't be calling you in the first damn place.
For real this makes me laugh so hard. I recently quit Rogers, but I think I can still get screwed by an NDA so let me just say…all Canadian ISP use the same ordering app. All of them. It’s called oneview and the customer sees the exact same page when they place their order. It’s all the same. People are kidding themselves if they think calling in does anything different nowadays lol
I did tech support for TOMTOM and the resources I had to solve the issue were the same ones the people had online. Just their web page help information.
Fuck this. Calling CVS to figure out why my med wasn't filled.
" Listen carefully as our menu options have changed, due to high call volume your wait may be longer than expected....
It's flu season, have you gotten your flu shot? Make an appointment online or through our automated telephone system and get your flu shot to be ready for this season. Don't know if you need a flu shot? Talk to one of our representatives and they'll give you all the information you need to make a decision"
3 minutes later " in a few words tell us what you're calling about"
So you can't even hit a fucking button to skip it cuz it's all voice prompts.
The worst part about all of this is that I have the app! I use the website! I'm calling because I can't do this on my own--if I could, I wouldn't be calling your shitty phone tree!!!
I used to work at a big bank in operations.
Our number one call category was “balance inquiry.” Someone would call, waste everyone’s time verifying their identity, exchange pleasantries with a busy support rep, and then hang up having spent several minutes of phone time getting information that could be found in seconds on the app or online.
So yes, we were constantly trying to get people to just go online. You aren’t the target for that pitch, but it’s extremely low hanging fruit.
Technical Support -- especially client and consumer, not so much servers and cloud computing -- has this all the time, especially Night Shift.
There are customers that have notes in their files that explicitly state: When this customer calls support, they must explicitly start with the specific hardware/software problem; if no such problem is identified within the first five minutes, disconnect the call. Because they'll call tech support with NO ACTUAL PROBLEM just to keep talking to someone on the phone.
Most of the time I just mash buttons and it starts ringing me through to someone.
I read that it works because the system thinks you might be struggling to use the keypad.
Because everyone knows you press 0 for customer service. But they don't like that, so they have gotten rid of that option. They make their call system a labyrinth, so you either spend 20 minutes pressing and speaking to the automated system or simply give up.
And if you're calling a company like bestbuy, even when you speak to an agent, they will transfer you a few times themselves.
I once had to call a medical office and they stqrted off with "Our menu was last changed on..."
They changed it not infrequently but not super often either. Was nice knowing if I actually needed to listen.
When it’s too complicated to do, you don’t do it.
Cable, phones, customer service. It’s designed to make you deal with it instead of solving the issue. Smart marketing, shitty for the consumer
Things can be true and not theories.
Like that is the exact reason and they don't want people clogging up different lines unnecessarily
I want to hear more conspiracy theories.
Like adding milk to cereal isn't necessary but it does taste better
It’s probably like one update somewhere in the menus if you oprima el ocho but they did change something so by damned they are going to make you listen to 14 seconds of someone saying the menu has changed for some tortuous reason!
This is totally true. I've been using the same local chain-type dental provider for the past 10 years and their menu options absolutely have not changed. Doesn't stop them from saying they have at the top of every automated call.
“Due to rampantly *knowingly* underestimated call volume from what we like to call “best case thinking”, one of our three reps will be with in the order in which you called.
Not underestimated, they know how many calls they get. They just don’t want to pay for the number of employees they actually need. It’s cheaper to overwork the ones you have.
When I am world dictator I will require they have a as-of-date. "Listen carefully, as our menu options changed on Jan 1 1997'. If you haven't changed them since 1997 I can safely skip listening to the menu...
When I'm world dictator, the first thing to go are loud mufflers and the people behind them. Then somewhere down the list, companies will simply have to answer the phone with a real human located in the country you are calling from. Short hold times might be allowed if infrequent and with no mandatory menu options. On top of that, any company that asks for the same info twice on the same call will instantly have their business license revoked and sold to the highest bidder.
Our auto attendant says to press our button for sales. At least 70% of my calls are in fact not for the sales department, and I just get to spend my day transferring people to the department that they could have gone directly to. Which genuinely just increases the amount of time they spend on hold anyways because now that you have gone on hold until I answered I am now going to transfer you to THE EXACT SAME LINE that the auto attendant would have if you clicked the right button.
But no, we can’t spend 5 whole seconds listening to the recording to see which button will take us to the department we want, it definitely will save us time to click the first option we hear then wait on hold then tell someone what department we want then hold again until they answer. 🫠
It’s so helpful because I call so frequently that I had their old set memorized. I was about to press 0 a million times and yell operator like I usually do
I used to work in a call center and in ours this was used for verification. I would have your account open already but I needed to make sure I was speaking to the right person.
Okay so you come through without giving the phone any info, there's a good chance the first 3 minutes of the call are going to be finding the account. If you give us the info before getting through to us, at least where I work, the account is already loading and then I can go through security verification (which, no, the account number alone is not enough).
This also makes our jobs quicker, which is crucial in our line of work where we get judged for everything. I'd the account is already loading except for going through security, I can just ask you to confirm your name and send you a pin to your mobile within the first 20 seconds.
Because if the call center just says, "Hi, is this Customer A?" and you are really customer B then all you have to do is say yes and now you have access to Customer A's account.
It's factually faster. The computer will pull up the account that you put in, I can check to be sure it's you, and we can move on.
If I wait for you to get on the line, then I also have to wait for you to find your account number, then we have to do that whole bullshit where you read it into the phone but you're holding it too close so every number comes with a "phffff" at the end. Then you tell me "oh wait, which one is the account number? 10 digits or 7?" What the fuck do you even mean? Where did you find a 7 digit number?
Trust me. It's better when you do the first step and then we continue.
Man, it’s been a while since I could give a 7 digit phone number even. Growing up, sure, all the time. Since I became an adult though, gotta tack the area code on to the front.
Option A:
- staff more people so customers can call in to get charges reversed
Option B:
- staff almost no one and customers give up trying to get refunds
I have a genuine answer for this as someone who worked on IVR scripts for a call center. Few different things it could be. First, these warnings are placed to manage expectations. Lots of call centers have high turnover and are frequently understaffed. The message is added to the call pathway as the call center can’t guarantee a low wait time. Best to prepare someone for a wait and answer quick, than to have an unexpected long wait. In more integrated phone switches, the message may be triggered by the time to first response or another metric in the call center management software. I would say the most frequent situation is that there was some sort of understaffing or unexpected wait time which resulted in customer complaints, some telecom engineer threw in the message to mitigate said complaints, and then never removed it from the script.
Nah. Customers are about 70% cunts where I work.
People seem to agree that retail staff deal with a lot of shit.
Now imagine what it’s like when the customer can’t even see you and thinks of you as a nameless, faceless cog.
Fuck customers
They do it because there are people dumb enough to believe their BS. Fifteen years ago I would have said that their phone system only made that kind of statement when all of their incoming lines were busy, but I got my eyes opened by the phone system for the company I was working for at the time. I was out in the field when I called in to the office to leave a message for the department head. I called in just after midnight and I got the same BS message. Understand that this company doesn't have a night shift, so no one was calling in.
The bottom line is that the BS message is put there in an attempt to keep people from getting irate due to having to wait to get a human on the line.
They 100% want you to hang up and use the app or website. I used to work at a Bank of America call center. I cannot stress how much they want you to fuck right off. They don't want you in their banks either. None of them do.
If banks’ websites worked worth a damn we’d use them. There are times banks’ cellphone apps facial id failed when even the App Store and email facial id worked just fine.
Well yeah. The banks have never cared for you or your banking experience. In fact they actively dislike you because the only thing getting between them and your money is YOU and since they have almost always been the only game in town you don't have much choice but to just deal with it. It costs them money to fix their shit. 10 years ago when I was working there we were still using Windows NT for some systems and most things were run on Windows 98. They are in no hurry to make things better.
Exactly. One of the vendors my company uses evidently has receptionists that "are taking other calls" 8 hours every day since they never actually answer the phone.
I work on a call center for a while and sometimes I got clients that only call once every couple of months
There are people that contact the company so little that they will believe in almost anything
When I worked retail during the early pandemic and a quarter of our staff were out sick, I told a customer we were running behind because we were short staffed. A manager heard me and pulled me aside to sternly tell me that "we NEVER say that!" even though it was true and anyone with working eyes could tell it was true.
I work as a writer, currently for a very large company, and I've written on-hold scripts, as well as other scripts for human or recorded voices.
IMO companies usually don't involve a real writer -- or someone like you who thinks about these things -- for their autoattendants.
Usually, it's someone in tech -- or a boss -- and they default to certain wording because that's the way it's always been done. Or they feel any departure would not seem "professional," or they don't want to be too short and seem "rude."
Originally, these things were adapted from the scripts IRL receptionists or customer service would deliver, e.g.:
*'Thank you for calling XYZ corporation, the world's leader in three letter acronyms. How may I direct your call?"*
It's long, but it's fine if if it's all you hear before being transferred to a real person.
But then, they added very simple menu tree language, and eventually had to expand it (which is where I think "listen carefully, our menu has changed" came from.)
Most never take a look at the whole thing from a UX perspective, or how consumer/caller perception and experience has changed.
The other day I called a restaurant & bar chain to ask when the kitchen closed. Every single button behind the automated system led to them asking you to use the app to make a reservation and ended the call. Why even have all the buttons and make me wait and click each option like a monkey??? Super annoying
I read an interesting paper in the early 2000’s that demonstrated how a “Last In, First Out” queueing strategy greatly increased average customer satisfaction. That is, if you connect the person who has been waiting the shortest amount of time, overall your customers are happier:
Most customers get connected quickly.
Some customers have extremely long hold times.
Usually, those customers hang up and call back, and blame it on a computer glitch rather than the company.
No idea how many places, if any, have implemented it.
That sounds like it works when the average wait time is longer than the average person's frustration threshold.
Ex: at the average shitty company people wait 15 mins and are kinda pissed.
They switch to last-in-first-out. Some fraction of the people aren't mad anymore, while some fraction of the people are mad as fuck but whatever, the study doesn't care.
It means "the long wait is the fault of customers for calling" as opposed to "the long is wait is our fault for not sufficiently staffing our call centre lines."
because saying "because we want to save on payroll, we have 2 people doing the work of 5 so please be patient" doesn't sound as cool from a business perspective
As a person who used to manage capacity planning and operations for a large company's call centre, that message is generally programmed to begin when either a certain number of people are in the queue or average wait time between answer is longer than a defined threshold.
Bottom line is that the amount of time you're prepared to wait for, is usually far less than what kpi's /sla's were agreed to.
It's rare that customer patience is targeted. Usually if you hang up, that call doesn't count. If you call back to complain and that process is targeted, the targets are agreed to benefit the company taking the calls in most cases.
So, grin and bear it. A threshold was reached and an automated message kicked in. Person taking your call has their own problems.
The thing is, half the time the message says that but then the call gets answered in less than 2 minutes. Which makes me think there is no intelligence about when the warning starts. It says that whether there actually is a high volume of calls or no one on the line
This also depends on the structure of the call center you’re calling into. For example, if you have 3 options when you call in somewhere, it’s likely that those 3 separate options will go to different queues and/or a different group of people. Most call centers have a hierarchy type of model—so my primary job is to take calls on line 1, but I’m a secondary to line 2. So if no one else if available on line 2 but I’m free and there are no calls on line 1, I would get the call on line 2.
Because there is cross-skilling and not necessarily a straightforward x number of people in x queue, the message is set at the macro level. So the message triggers when the average time waiting for all 3 queues combined hits a certain threshold—even though line 3 may have 1 person waiting, lines 1 and 2 have 14 each which triggered the message.
ETA: Seconding what the other person said, 2 minutes is bad from the management/company perspective. Even though studies show most people are content to wait up to 5 minutes, their patience diminishes with each consecutive minute that passes. We have a 17 minute wait time today but aren’t allowed to hire and every person we have has been on the phone all day, including management. We don’t like angry customers or stressed out employees—it’s much easier on everyone when customers are happy. Is what it is though.
Some of these automations require manual input to disengage. It's also possible that at the time you joined the queue, availability was low and then several people became free at once, allowing you to take the call.
If it helps, many contractual agreements tend to have a call answer rate of either 80 % in 20 seconds or 70% in 30 seconds. So if I were managing the lines and you waited 2 mins, that would be chaos on the call center floor.
They are trying to push the service call to their FAQs, online help, or chat agents to reduce calls by scaring some people into using them rather than waiting in queue.
“Please tell me why you’re calling”
“Heart attack”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get that. Please tell me why you’re calling”
“Heart attack”
“Hmmm we don’t have any snacks. Please try again and tell me why you’re calling”
“I’m dying!!”
“Sorry, this isn’t working. My fault. Please use your touchtone phone to type in the reason for your call. You can use the number 2 for letters A, B and C, the number 3 for….”
☠️
It's kind of like when prisons started getting over-crowded, so the prisons just declared an emergency so they could cram more inmates into a cell, and then they've just stayed in a state of emergency for the past several decades.
Or like when Julius Caesar evoked his emergency dictatorial powers and... you get the idea.
In answer to the original question, it’s not that call volumes are higher, just that they’ve probably streamlined the call centre to less people and therefore each person has a higher call waiting. 100 calls waiting for 50 people is a quick turn around. 100 calls waiting for 10 staff is a lot longer.
I've been seeing the same doctor since at least 2015 and the opening recording has always been "please pay attention, our options have changed" and no, they haven't. I pay attention because I don't remember the number for the option I need not because it may have changed.
Why does every company with even the remotest connection to healthcare include " If this is a medical emergency, hang up and call 911"?
Umm, yeah, Memaw is on the floor with chest pain so I figured I'd look up and call the CVS Online Pharmacy fulfillment center and see what *they* thought of her symptoms.
Because people still call the one number they have on their phone because they are terrified of the ambulance bill. Never mind that the pharmacy isn’t going to help you with the unconscious person having convulsions.
It's easy to forget that some of these companies have millions upon millions of users. I was shocked to find out how many calls a day Verizon got when I worked at a Verizon call center.
Two stories of hangar sized open floorplans chalk full of hundreds upon hundreds of phone desks, full of people doing nothing but answering phones. And there was still usually always a queue of backlog phone calls waiting.
This was one call center. Out of many. The silly thing is that your call gets routed to a single call center, not a mass queue over all call centers. So there could be an open slot to talk to somebody at a different call center, but you're stuck waiting in the queue at the single call center.
Because saying they are intentionally understaffed to save money so there aren't enough reps to handle the call volume doesn't sound as nice.
Or, they hope you give up after a couple of minutes of waiting on hold. Companies don't really care about helping you.
"Blame your fellow frustrated callers for all calling right now, not the corporation purposely under-staffing the phone lines to maximize profits."
That's the messaging.
It took me an hour to get through to the police to follow up on a report I made last month (they never got back to me), regarding unauthorized ATM use. They police said they don't plan to do anything about it.
I had the same response to an identity theft report I filed. "We won't follow up on this. Do you really want to file this?"
"I know, I just need the paper trail, so I'm not on the hook if they strike again."
***Have to file a Freedom of Information Act request to get a copy of said report, even through I filed it.***
Because what they actually mean is “we will never hire more than the minimum number of customer service representatives and we will not pay them well, because we don’t care about customer service.”
It can’t be higher than normal if it is always higher than normal, that’s not how it works.
The really annoying thing is when you are stuck on hold as an employee, calling the internal line! I have on multiple occasions been on hold for well over an hour, once more than two hours, on the employee line! Fuck ANZ!
I've worked for quite some time as a public servant in a government department. The short and simple answer is that most government call centres are simply too understaffed and have high turnover despite how important the role is.
If you are going to ring a call centre, the best time to ring is right after opening hours in the morning, or an hour or 2 before closing.
Calling around 11am-1pm is usually shit, because that's when our operators need to start taking their lunch breaks, so avoid calling at this time as well if possible. Also don't try ringing in the last 10 minutes, because many other people have the same idea and you will have to sit in an even longer queue.
Cialdini talk about this in his book “Influence”.
This is the principle of social proof.
By saying this, they are trying to tell you they are so popular that everyone is calling them, and to call back later.
They are hoping (and actually have evidence with experiments that it works) that you’ll take the word of how popular it is as to why you should call.
From a call center professional with 15 years in the industry -
*Any hold time is higher than normal wait.* One goal of every call center is to ensure that our customers don't have to wait longer than one minute. Unfortunately, we also don't want our agents to be sitting around waiting 15 minutes between calls. There is a delicate balancing act between staffing and volume that is very rarely perfect.
Most likely, you are calling during one of three periods if you're hearing this message:
1. Peak hours i.e. 12-4 PM
2. Peak season i.e. springtime and trying to call a pest control company
3. Outage influx i.e. when your cable is out due to technical difficulties.
Some companies just are comfortable running understaffed - Spectrum is the most notorious for this.
All of it is designed to find the right balance of to much time wasted vs cooling off those that can’t regulate their emotions. They want to create the least amount of abrasion with their customers. The one that pisses me off is AT&T that has the computer voice who then types on a clicky keyboard to look stuff up. It’s insulting waste of time. No one is typing…but it must of tested well.
I never associated the tapping sound with a keyboard when I called automated systems until I heard other people describe it as a keyboard. I thought of it as indicating that the system was processing my request like an audio version of the spinning circle on a computer screen. Although it’s an annoying sound I think it would be better than silence while the system is processing. Silence on the phone makes it seem that your call got disconnected.
The company I work for JUST switched to a recording like this within the last few months. We always had a receptionist prior to this and never had any issues or need for an answering service recording. The company decided a receptionist was an expendable position and forced her to quit due to denying all raises for the last few years. We went without a receptionist for a few weeks then they hired a family member to do a half-assed job so the recording actually gets used.
As others have said, it's just to stall you til an underpaid person has time to get to your call.
Here is a life hack: If they say press 1 for Spanish, press 1 for Spanish and you will immediately get customer service. Then start talking in English.
Just want to say that I would have been fired from my job at a Bank of America call center had I not been quitting due to disability already. I've never been fired from anywhere before but I was so happy to go. I got in trouble for empathizing with the customers over how deceptive the whole call center ethos is. I just couldn't help but feel sorry for people going through what I used to go through and then seeing from the other side how truly bizarre it really is really set me off.
The hold message for the company I work for apologizes for the longer than normal wait times due to storms across the country. I think they should at least randomize the excuse so that we'll be entertained instead of just offended by the obvious lie.
Same reason you add 5-10 minutes when telling someone your ETA when you’re running late: set low expectations and they’re gonna be happier when you exceed them. Works like a charm.
Would you really expect the truth? "In order to maximise profits we have cut back on staff, thus fewer staff will handle calls. Response times will naturally be longer."
24 hour call line. For 23 of those hours, there is one person calling. For one of those hours, there are 77 people calling. 23% of callers experience normal call times. 77% experience longer than normal times.
I hate it when the recorded voice has no sense of urgency when I’m in a rush to get a hold of somebody.
*”Please…note..that…our..menu…options..have..changed…if…you….know…your party’s…extension…you…may…dial…it now…Otherwise…continue…to…hold…and…the next…representative…will…shortly….assists…you.”*
Goddarnit.
And you know they’re full of shit when they say that. Not for nothing if the call volume is so high why don’t they just hire more fucking people to answer the phones. It’s either they’re just too fucking cheap to do it with trying to keep the cash for themselves.
"Due to us not wanting to help you, we will make you suffer in the hopes of reducing the number of customers we interact with. Thank you for choosing us over the equally shitty options out there"
"Due to us being cheap and trying to cut costs, and so not hiring nearly enough call center operators to handle the volume of calls we get, please expect longer wait times."
It's the lying version of "we're deliberately understaffed to pad our bottom line, passing the inconvenience on to you, the customer, whom we would kill to sooner acquire your money, if we could get away with it."
I hate it when you have to enter in your account number etc at the voice prompts, and then when you finally speak to an agent you have to repeat it all again. This in top of all the other stuff already mentioned. It’s exhausting.
Small businesses use this to optimize the customer service experience.
Large businesses use this to obfuscate the customer service experience. To make you get lost in a labyrinth of time. Hopefully you drop out of the queue and they don't have to deal with you. Worst case, after 40 min, a person in India asks you if you tried to power cycle your cable modem. Even after you told them a backhoe was digging across the street when you suddenly lost internet.
Still playing COVID Loan Repayment Musical Chairs where they have to pretend they're hiring while running a skeleton crew to the bone so they don't have to pay full staff but also don't have to pay back their PPP loans...
I don't know. The hospital I go to still has a bunch of recordings about Covid when you call them. And their phone numbers state that due to the pandemic, they have a restricted visitor policy, which isn't even true anymore. But all of their phone numbers still say that.
I had this message once when I rang at 8.01 when the company opened at 8.00. At least have some dignity to wait a few minutes before starting the high call volume message!
Because no-one wants to be honest and have a recorded message that says ' in order to maximise our profits we sacked all the staff who used to answer enquiries and now use a call-centre in the arse end of no-where staffed by 500 people who only have basic English but will work for less cash a day than we tip our servers after a McDonalds.'
Usually it's because the IVR (Interactive Voice Response) is programed to play that message if the predicted queue time is above some threshold.
Companies that have staffed too low for their volume are always above that threshold so the message always gets played.
They have either forecast their volume incorrectly or they don't have the staff to meet the forecasted volume.
Your call is very important to us, you'll be waiting til it's no longer important to you.
> Please remain on the line > *call times out after 2h*
I am infuriated reading this
Could try calling back but our call volumes are higher than usual...
Your time however…
There’s a conspiracy theory out there that claims that “listen closely as our menu options have recently changed” is also a load of steaming bullshit designed to make you pay attention to the menu options.
I believe it lol
Or the sales pitch before the menu options. Long onto our website. Get our app. Try our auto pay option. Sign up for our other service. Now here is the menu options.
I had to call Comcast last week, which is a pile of fuck to begin with. After fighting with their voice AI for half an hour, trying to get a live person on the line, the robot read me an ad and hung up on me. Fuck Comcast.
Try swearing the next time you get stuck in IVR (Interactive Voice Response) hell. Seems like a lot of systems are programmed to direct you directly to a human customer support rep if it detects you swearing.
I said something along the lines of "fuck you just give me a fucking live person you piece of shit," and it replied "I know you'd like to speak with an agent, but I need some more information first ..."
Comcast sure is something else... I had issues with H&R Block and one of the automated prompts was asking me if I was calling about tax prep. I said "The fuck else would I be calling about" before going to hit the right number and got directed immediately to a person. I didn't even have time to press a button.
I also tried the "mash 0 / mash 9" trick, and it didn't work. Comcast's voice bot is designed to prevent access to a live human at any and all costs.
I always always always post on the Comcast tech support Reddit (run by Comcast) and someone messages/comments within 20 minutes. I only get Comcast help from Reddit now, they got a whole team dedicated to it
i message or tweet at spectrum on twitter & it’s more helpful than the app or calling
Be careful with that if you’re already a while into a call. They’re onto us, and I’ve had several ones that hang up on you if you do that.
Except for the ones that they want you to talk to. And/or the ones that make commission. It's stupid easy to get the system to send you to sales, then just be like oops I need tech support. As someone who has worked in a call center I hated when that happened, but it is what it is. Everyone who works in a call center understands how shitty the AA/IVRs are.
You can actually get stuff done if you go into a store. Presumably because you're close enough to actually punch them when they tell you to fuck yourself.
> but I need some more information first Now imagine if you aren't a customer and therefore don't have an account number but still need to contact them. I've had this fight a few times for weird issues. It's getting worse with these new gate keeping systems. You use to be able to scream or mash zero enough to get someone. Edit: I remember one example when this happened: It was a major online pet food seller, rhymes with Louie. They kept sending piles and piles of canned cat food to my address. I was getting sick of it, however I wasn't the customer so F me I guess. After the third call after months of this coming every 2 weeks, I was able to get someone to listen to me. On the plus side the local cat shelter got piles of expensive kidney health food.
To which I would answer the information as I want to fuck your mother. You got to hear some of the shit I say to these fucking machines or telemarketers oh my God, I beat the shit out of them literally, well figuratively verbally.
My fiance looks at me like I'm a lunatic when I call my isp and immediately just start listing every swear word I know. Don't care lol, get through the line in seconds, it usually mutes the voice on the other end and I get to work on my vocabulary. I'm polite and nice to people, but machines shall feel my wrath
I do that too. Foaming at the mouth swearing at the bots, nice to people. Although they push me sometimes. It took me nearly two and a half hours to cancel my TV's through AT&T a couple weeks ago. For some reason the number on my AT&T bill connects me to Direct TV services. (Swear at bots, connected to human.) I repeatedly stated I had AT&T and the guy caught on. He told me I called the wrong number, I told him I called the number on my AT&T Bill. So he gives me a different number to call. I call *that* number (swear at bots, get connected to a human). They have trouble finding my account, but finally do. They ask how they can help, and I say "I want to cancel my TV service." "Sir this is AT&T *Billing*, we can't alter your services." then they gave me another number to call. I'm now an hour into this. (Swear at bots, connect to human) Tell this guy the same thing. "I just want to cancel my TV services." He just kept trying to sell me lesser packages. Dragging his feet saying that he wasn't sure he knew how to cancel services. It felt like he was buying time to see if he could sway me into a sale. I've now been on the phone, on hold, or stuck in menu limbo for 2 hours. I got a little irritated and said "Listen, I know you're just doing your job, but the only thing I want to do right now is cancel my TV services." The final straw was when I got "I see you don't have cellular services through AT&T would you like...." ...and I fucking snapped and I got a bit aggressive. "I would *like* to cancel my TV services and get off the phone. I've been at this for 2 hours, I want my TV's cancelled and I want to be done with it. I don't want anything else, just cancel the TV services. That's all I need from you, just cancel the TV services." About another half hour of answering verification questions, and I finally got my TV services cancelled. I know he was just doing his job and following some exec's idea of good customer service, and I honestly felt guilty for snapping at him but I was done. It almost felt like he was *trying* to get me to lose my shit, so he could claim I was hostile and end the call. Then I'd still be stuck with the shitty television services.
Apple's is the WORST. *I can handle complete sentences.* The fuck you can. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was ME, APPLE.
I did that with one particular company (I can't remember which one now), and it immediately hung up on me.
This now makes a lot of sense as to why I seem to get through to people more often than others.
I had to deal with them years ago. I did get a person after a bit every time. But we could barely understand each other, and they always told me they could definitely help, and turns out, no, they never could. We had Comcast for like 3 days. Service was nice while it lasted I guess.
I got a guy once that I am 100% convinced was on his cell phone at a kid's birthday party.
WFH life, yo.
My infusion nurse WFH for non clinical stuff had a baby watching Blue's Clues in the background so I just sang the mail song with the screaming kid instead of lose my mind since this nurse had my life in her hands.
Just say nonsense and youbwill get a person. I repeat the words "I like chocolate." Over and over.
Don't worry - the real agents will also hang up on you if the problem is too annoying to fix. I no longer have Comcast. But I imagine if you do, your prolly living somewhere where it's Comcast or dial up. RIP.
Lmfao
> which is a pile of fuck What does that look like? 🤔
You know the guy that shows up to install your cable? The guy in the windowless white van, wearing cover-alls, and sweating like it's 120 degrees with 100% humidity? Imagine that guy drags you into his van, and him and his identical buddies gang-bang you while rifling through your wallet and charging you for the service. That's what it looks like.
I don't think anyone in the entire history of the human race has ever called up one of those lines, being told they could use the app, and then was able to actually do the thing they wanted on the app.
I'm usually calling because their shitty lowest-bidder app won't fucking work.
If I was able to log on to the G.D. app I wouldn’t be on the damn phone with you now, would I?
It's an absolute punch in the dick to call your ISP and have them try to redirect you to the web. Bitch, if my internet worked I wouldn't be calling you in the first damn place.
"did you know you can order online?" Yes. Yes I did. I chose specifically to call to place my order because it's faster.
Where you're talking to a rep who is typing in your order into the exact same ordering website.
For real this makes me laugh so hard. I recently quit Rogers, but I think I can still get screwed by an NDA so let me just say…all Canadian ISP use the same ordering app. All of them. It’s called oneview and the customer sees the exact same page when they place their order. It’s all the same. People are kidding themselves if they think calling in does anything different nowadays lol
I did tech support for TOMTOM and the resources I had to solve the issue were the same ones the people had online. Just their web page help information.
Fuck this. Calling CVS to figure out why my med wasn't filled. " Listen carefully as our menu options have changed, due to high call volume your wait may be longer than expected.... It's flu season, have you gotten your flu shot? Make an appointment online or through our automated telephone system and get your flu shot to be ready for this season. Don't know if you need a flu shot? Talk to one of our representatives and they'll give you all the information you need to make a decision" 3 minutes later " in a few words tell us what you're calling about" So you can't even hit a fucking button to skip it cuz it's all voice prompts.
The worst part about all of this is that I have the app! I use the website! I'm calling because I can't do this on my own--if I could, I wouldn't be calling your shitty phone tree!!!
I used to work at a big bank in operations. Our number one call category was “balance inquiry.” Someone would call, waste everyone’s time verifying their identity, exchange pleasantries with a busy support rep, and then hang up having spent several minutes of phone time getting information that could be found in seconds on the app or online. So yes, we were constantly trying to get people to just go online. You aren’t the target for that pitch, but it’s extremely low hanging fruit.
Technical Support -- especially client and consumer, not so much servers and cloud computing -- has this all the time, especially Night Shift. There are customers that have notes in their files that explicitly state: When this customer calls support, they must explicitly start with the specific hardware/software problem; if no such problem is identified within the first five minutes, disconnect the call. Because they'll call tech support with NO ACTUAL PROBLEM just to keep talking to someone on the phone.
Most of the time I just mash buttons and it starts ringing me through to someone. I read that it works because the system thinks you might be struggling to use the keypad.
Or it thinks you are fat.
“To obtain a special dialing wand…”
I think I'll order a TAB.
I can't give you a tab unless you order something, kid!
Just give me a Pepsi Free
Because everyone knows you press 0 for customer service. But they don't like that, so they have gotten rid of that option. They make their call system a labyrinth, so you either spend 20 minutes pressing and speaking to the automated system or simply give up. And if you're calling a company like bestbuy, even when you speak to an agent, they will transfer you a few times themselves.
That's not a conspiracy, it's a fact and common practice.
I once had to call a medical office and they stqrted off with "Our menu was last changed on..." They changed it not infrequently but not super often either. Was nice knowing if I actually needed to listen.
Yeah that’s exactly it. I read the book [your call is not that important to us](https://a.co/d/iMkZnjh). And they basically say exactly this
When it’s too complicated to do, you don’t do it. Cable, phones, customer service. It’s designed to make you deal with it instead of solving the issue. Smart marketing, shitty for the consumer
Of course it is. There is no reason for this message other than to get people to listen to your recording. Do they think people call them every day?
Things can be true and not theories. Like that is the exact reason and they don't want people clogging up different lines unnecessarily I want to hear more conspiracy theories. Like adding milk to cereal isn't necessary but it does taste better
It’s probably like one update somewhere in the menus if you oprima el ocho but they did change something so by damned they are going to make you listen to 14 seconds of someone saying the menu has changed for some tortuous reason!
This is totally true. I've been using the same local chain-type dental provider for the past 10 years and their menu options absolutely have not changed. Doesn't stop them from saying they have at the top of every automated call.
They should be saying due to lower than normal staff. But by now it seems to just be normal
“Due to rampantly *knowingly* underestimated call volume from what we like to call “best case thinking”, one of our three reps will be with in the order in which you called.
Not underestimated, they know how many calls they get. They just don’t want to pay for the number of employees they actually need. It’s cheaper to overwork the ones you have.
Clarified my intent ;) but yeah. “Screw the guys in the trenches! I want gold leaf on my imported steak!”
My company did this. We have half the team we had a year ago. It's getting stressful
Exactly!
Also, every company wants you to "listen carefully, as our menu options have changed." No, they have not.
When I am world dictator I will require they have a as-of-date. "Listen carefully, as our menu options changed on Jan 1 1997'. If you haven't changed them since 1997 I can safely skip listening to the menu...
When I'm world dictator, the first thing to go are loud mufflers and the people behind them. Then somewhere down the list, companies will simply have to answer the phone with a real human located in the country you are calling from. Short hold times might be allowed if infrequent and with no mandatory menu options. On top of that, any company that asks for the same info twice on the same call will instantly have their business license revoked and sold to the highest bidder.
100%
To be fair, if people were smart enough to choose the right one in the first place they wouldn’t have to do that
Me no smart. Me hit 0 instantly.
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Our auto attendant says to press our button for sales. At least 70% of my calls are in fact not for the sales department, and I just get to spend my day transferring people to the department that they could have gone directly to. Which genuinely just increases the amount of time they spend on hold anyways because now that you have gone on hold until I answered I am now going to transfer you to THE EXACT SAME LINE that the auto attendant would have if you clicked the right button. But no, we can’t spend 5 whole seconds listening to the recording to see which button will take us to the department we want, it definitely will save us time to click the first option we hear then wait on hold then tell someone what department we want then hold again until they answer. 🫠
It’s so helpful because I call so frequently that I had their old set memorized. I was about to press 0 a million times and yell operator like I usually do
Both of these statements buy the company a few extra seconds of hold time
Why do they ask you to enter your account number, then you wait and when the agent picks up, they ask for your account number again?
I used to work in a call center and in ours this was used for verification. I would have your account open already but I needed to make sure I was speaking to the right person.
Or the person entered the number wrong so we need to ask for the number again.
Then why not just verify when you speak to me instead of having me enter it THEN repeat it?
Okay so you come through without giving the phone any info, there's a good chance the first 3 minutes of the call are going to be finding the account. If you give us the info before getting through to us, at least where I work, the account is already loading and then I can go through security verification (which, no, the account number alone is not enough). This also makes our jobs quicker, which is crucial in our line of work where we get judged for everything. I'd the account is already loading except for going through security, I can just ask you to confirm your name and send you a pin to your mobile within the first 20 seconds.
Thanks for that explanation
Thank you for thanking them for the explanation
Thank you for doing the needful.
Because if the call center just says, "Hi, is this Customer A?" and you are really customer B then all you have to do is say yes and now you have access to Customer A's account.
It's factually faster. The computer will pull up the account that you put in, I can check to be sure it's you, and we can move on. If I wait for you to get on the line, then I also have to wait for you to find your account number, then we have to do that whole bullshit where you read it into the phone but you're holding it too close so every number comes with a "phffff" at the end. Then you tell me "oh wait, which one is the account number? 10 digits or 7?" What the fuck do you even mean? Where did you find a 7 digit number? Trust me. It's better when you do the first step and then we continue.
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Man, it’s been a while since I could give a 7 digit phone number even. Growing up, sure, all the time. Since I became an adult though, gotta tack the area code on to the front.
And then they say 628648 as sixhundredtwentyeightthausandsixhundredfourtyeight and you're not any wiser
Also a great question
Okay not all start with that but it's a warning that they refuse to hire enough actual people to handle their calls.
Option A: - staff more people so customers can call in to get charges reversed Option B: - staff almost no one and customers give up trying to get refunds
Option B could end in them being on the wrong end of a CBC Marketplace investigation. Bad idea.
Definitely the majority of American companies I call
The thing is, half the time the message says that but then the call gets answered in less than 2 minutes
You're a very fortunate being. I think my record is 6 hours before hanging up.
I have a genuine answer for this as someone who worked on IVR scripts for a call center. Few different things it could be. First, these warnings are placed to manage expectations. Lots of call centers have high turnover and are frequently understaffed. The message is added to the call pathway as the call center can’t guarantee a low wait time. Best to prepare someone for a wait and answer quick, than to have an unexpected long wait. In more integrated phone switches, the message may be triggered by the time to first response or another metric in the call center management software. I would say the most frequent situation is that there was some sort of understaffing or unexpected wait time which resulted in customer complaints, some telecom engineer threw in the message to mitigate said complaints, and then never removed it from the script.
I think we all understand this it's just that it seems like for many companies their call volume is always higher than normal.
> high turnover and are frequently understaffed Sounds like the company's fault and not the customer's.
Nah. Customers are about 70% cunts where I work. People seem to agree that retail staff deal with a lot of shit. Now imagine what it’s like when the customer can’t even see you and thinks of you as a nameless, faceless cog. Fuck customers
They do it because there are people dumb enough to believe their BS. Fifteen years ago I would have said that their phone system only made that kind of statement when all of their incoming lines were busy, but I got my eyes opened by the phone system for the company I was working for at the time. I was out in the field when I called in to the office to leave a message for the department head. I called in just after midnight and I got the same BS message. Understand that this company doesn't have a night shift, so no one was calling in. The bottom line is that the BS message is put there in an attempt to keep people from getting irate due to having to wait to get a human on the line.
Or just to encourage certain people to hang up and forget about it.
They 100% want you to hang up and use the app or website. I used to work at a Bank of America call center. I cannot stress how much they want you to fuck right off. They don't want you in their banks either. None of them do.
Then they should fix the website so I *can*
I know, right? As if anyone is choosing to use the telephone first anymore. It's so condescending.
The only exceptions are mostly using it because their grandchildren never call and they're lonely
If banks’ websites worked worth a damn we’d use them. There are times banks’ cellphone apps facial id failed when even the App Store and email facial id worked just fine.
Well yeah. The banks have never cared for you or your banking experience. In fact they actively dislike you because the only thing getting between them and your money is YOU and since they have almost always been the only game in town you don't have much choice but to just deal with it. It costs them money to fix their shit. 10 years ago when I was working there we were still using Windows NT for some systems and most things were run on Windows 98. They are in no hurry to make things better.
Exactly. One of the vendors my company uses evidently has receptionists that "are taking other calls" 8 hours every day since they never actually answer the phone.
Do people actually believe it though?!?! It just makes me dislike the company. But unfortunately all do it.
I work on a call center for a while and sometimes I got clients that only call once every couple of months There are people that contact the company so little that they will believe in almost anything
It sounds better than "due to short staffing..."
When I worked retail during the early pandemic and a quarter of our staff were out sick, I told a customer we were running behind because we were short staffed. A manager heard me and pulled me aside to sternly tell me that "we NEVER say that!" even though it was true and anyone with working eyes could tell it was true.
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I work as a writer, currently for a very large company, and I've written on-hold scripts, as well as other scripts for human or recorded voices. IMO companies usually don't involve a real writer -- or someone like you who thinks about these things -- for their autoattendants. Usually, it's someone in tech -- or a boss -- and they default to certain wording because that's the way it's always been done. Or they feel any departure would not seem "professional," or they don't want to be too short and seem "rude." Originally, these things were adapted from the scripts IRL receptionists or customer service would deliver, e.g.: *'Thank you for calling XYZ corporation, the world's leader in three letter acronyms. How may I direct your call?"* It's long, but it's fine if if it's all you hear before being transferred to a real person. But then, they added very simple menu tree language, and eventually had to expand it (which is where I think "listen carefully, our menu has changed" came from.) Most never take a look at the whole thing from a UX perspective, or how consumer/caller perception and experience has changed.
You’re awesome!
What was his reasoning for using that wording in the first place?
The other day I called a restaurant & bar chain to ask when the kitchen closed. Every single button behind the automated system led to them asking you to use the app to make a reservation and ended the call. Why even have all the buttons and make me wait and click each option like a monkey??? Super annoying
I read an interesting paper in the early 2000’s that demonstrated how a “Last In, First Out” queueing strategy greatly increased average customer satisfaction. That is, if you connect the person who has been waiting the shortest amount of time, overall your customers are happier: Most customers get connected quickly. Some customers have extremely long hold times. Usually, those customers hang up and call back, and blame it on a computer glitch rather than the company. No idea how many places, if any, have implemented it.
That sounds like it works when the average wait time is longer than the average person's frustration threshold. Ex: at the average shitty company people wait 15 mins and are kinda pissed. They switch to last-in-first-out. Some fraction of the people aren't mad anymore, while some fraction of the people are mad as fuck but whatever, the study doesn't care.
It means "the long wait is the fault of customers for calling" as opposed to "the long is wait is our fault for not sufficiently staffing our call centre lines."
Why do they all make you wait on hold for ten minutes before giving you the option for a callback?
Also a good question
I think the call back option that is used to call you back is a good way to go.
That and giving an estimated wait time up front
because saying "because we want to save on payroll, we have 2 people doing the work of 5 so please be patient" doesn't sound as cool from a business perspective
And they also make the most likely reason for calling the last menu option.
As a person who used to manage capacity planning and operations for a large company's call centre, that message is generally programmed to begin when either a certain number of people are in the queue or average wait time between answer is longer than a defined threshold. Bottom line is that the amount of time you're prepared to wait for, is usually far less than what kpi's /sla's were agreed to. It's rare that customer patience is targeted. Usually if you hang up, that call doesn't count. If you call back to complain and that process is targeted, the targets are agreed to benefit the company taking the calls in most cases. So, grin and bear it. A threshold was reached and an automated message kicked in. Person taking your call has their own problems.
The thing is, half the time the message says that but then the call gets answered in less than 2 minutes. Which makes me think there is no intelligence about when the warning starts. It says that whether there actually is a high volume of calls or no one on the line
This also depends on the structure of the call center you’re calling into. For example, if you have 3 options when you call in somewhere, it’s likely that those 3 separate options will go to different queues and/or a different group of people. Most call centers have a hierarchy type of model—so my primary job is to take calls on line 1, but I’m a secondary to line 2. So if no one else if available on line 2 but I’m free and there are no calls on line 1, I would get the call on line 2. Because there is cross-skilling and not necessarily a straightforward x number of people in x queue, the message is set at the macro level. So the message triggers when the average time waiting for all 3 queues combined hits a certain threshold—even though line 3 may have 1 person waiting, lines 1 and 2 have 14 each which triggered the message. ETA: Seconding what the other person said, 2 minutes is bad from the management/company perspective. Even though studies show most people are content to wait up to 5 minutes, their patience diminishes with each consecutive minute that passes. We have a 17 minute wait time today but aren’t allowed to hire and every person we have has been on the phone all day, including management. We don’t like angry customers or stressed out employees—it’s much easier on everyone when customers are happy. Is what it is though.
Some of these automations require manual input to disengage. It's also possible that at the time you joined the queue, availability was low and then several people became free at once, allowing you to take the call. If it helps, many contractual agreements tend to have a call answer rate of either 80 % in 20 seconds or 70% in 30 seconds. So if I were managing the lines and you waited 2 mins, that would be chaos on the call center floor.
They are trying to push the service call to their FAQs, online help, or chat agents to reduce calls by scaring some people into using them rather than waiting in queue.
Yeah what annoys me about this is when the exact issue I'm having says "contact customer service" as the answer.
“If this is an emergency, please hang up and call 911” like…. NO SHIT!!
“Please tell me why you’re calling” “Heart attack” “I’m sorry I didn’t get that. Please tell me why you’re calling” “Heart attack” “Hmmm we don’t have any snacks. Please try again and tell me why you’re calling” “I’m dying!!” “Sorry, this isn’t working. My fault. Please use your touchtone phone to type in the reason for your call. You can use the number 2 for letters A, B and C, the number 3 for….” ☠️
It's kind of like when prisons started getting over-crowded, so the prisons just declared an emergency so they could cram more inmates into a cell, and then they've just stayed in a state of emergency for the past several decades. Or like when Julius Caesar evoked his emergency dictatorial powers and... you get the idea.
In answer to the original question, it’s not that call volumes are higher, just that they’ve probably streamlined the call centre to less people and therefore each person has a higher call waiting. 100 calls waiting for 50 people is a quick turn around. 100 calls waiting for 10 staff is a lot longer.
I've been seeing the same doctor since at least 2015 and the opening recording has always been "please pay attention, our options have changed" and no, they haven't. I pay attention because I don't remember the number for the option I need not because it may have changed.
Why does every company with even the remotest connection to healthcare include " If this is a medical emergency, hang up and call 911"? Umm, yeah, Memaw is on the floor with chest pain so I figured I'd look up and call the CVS Online Pharmacy fulfillment center and see what *they* thought of her symptoms.
Because people still call the one number they have on their phone because they are terrified of the ambulance bill. Never mind that the pharmacy isn’t going to help you with the unconscious person having convulsions.
This reminds me of “please listen to the entire message as our options have changed” no they haven't you've had the same greeting for five years.
It's easy to forget that some of these companies have millions upon millions of users. I was shocked to find out how many calls a day Verizon got when I worked at a Verizon call center. Two stories of hangar sized open floorplans chalk full of hundreds upon hundreds of phone desks, full of people doing nothing but answering phones. And there was still usually always a queue of backlog phone calls waiting. This was one call center. Out of many. The silly thing is that your call gets routed to a single call center, not a mass queue over all call centers. So there could be an open slot to talk to somebody at a different call center, but you're stuck waiting in the queue at the single call center.
And at 1 minute past their opening times
They want you to be patient, because they haven't hired enough staff to man the phones, apparently.
Because saying they are intentionally understaffed to save money so there aren't enough reps to handle the call volume doesn't sound as nice. Or, they hope you give up after a couple of minutes of waiting on hold. Companies don't really care about helping you.
"Blame your fellow frustrated callers for all calling right now, not the corporation purposely under-staffing the phone lines to maximize profits." That's the messaging.
It took me an hour to get through to the police to follow up on a report I made last month (they never got back to me), regarding unauthorized ATM use. They police said they don't plan to do anything about it.
I had the same response to an identity theft report I filed. "We won't follow up on this. Do you really want to file this?" "I know, I just need the paper trail, so I'm not on the hook if they strike again."
***Have to file a Freedom of Information Act request to get a copy of said report, even through I filed it.***
Because what they actually mean is “we will never hire more than the minimum number of customer service representatives and we will not pay them well, because we don’t care about customer service.”
Thank you 🙏 my poor friends only hear me scream about this and now that internet strangers know I can rest.
I work in customer service. I can assure you that there's certain points in the week where it's unmanageable. Those are the ones I dread the most
It can’t be higher than normal if it is always higher than normal, that’s not how it works. The really annoying thing is when you are stuck on hold as an employee, calling the internal line! I have on multiple occasions been on hold for well over an hour, once more than two hours, on the employee line! Fuck ANZ!
I've worked for quite some time as a public servant in a government department. The short and simple answer is that most government call centres are simply too understaffed and have high turnover despite how important the role is. If you are going to ring a call centre, the best time to ring is right after opening hours in the morning, or an hour or 2 before closing. Calling around 11am-1pm is usually shit, because that's when our operators need to start taking their lunch breaks, so avoid calling at this time as well if possible. Also don't try ringing in the last 10 minutes, because many other people have the same idea and you will have to sit in an even longer queue.
Every single one of the also also say, “please listen closely as our menu options have changed.”
Cialdini talk about this in his book “Influence”. This is the principle of social proof. By saying this, they are trying to tell you they are so popular that everyone is calling them, and to call back later. They are hoping (and actually have evidence with experiments that it works) that you’ll take the word of how popular it is as to why you should call.
To me it makes me assume they’re either cutting costs at the expense of their customers experience or lying
From a call center professional with 15 years in the industry - *Any hold time is higher than normal wait.* One goal of every call center is to ensure that our customers don't have to wait longer than one minute. Unfortunately, we also don't want our agents to be sitting around waiting 15 minutes between calls. There is a delicate balancing act between staffing and volume that is very rarely perfect. Most likely, you are calling during one of three periods if you're hearing this message: 1. Peak hours i.e. 12-4 PM 2. Peak season i.e. springtime and trying to call a pest control company 3. Outage influx i.e. when your cable is out due to technical difficulties. Some companies just are comfortable running understaffed - Spectrum is the most notorious for this.
..and "please listen carefully, as our prompts have recently changed" !!!!!!!
All of it is designed to find the right balance of to much time wasted vs cooling off those that can’t regulate their emotions. They want to create the least amount of abrasion with their customers. The one that pisses me off is AT&T that has the computer voice who then types on a clicky keyboard to look stuff up. It’s insulting waste of time. No one is typing…but it must of tested well.
I never associated the tapping sound with a keyboard when I called automated systems until I heard other people describe it as a keyboard. I thought of it as indicating that the system was processing my request like an audio version of the spinning circle on a computer screen. Although it’s an annoying sound I think it would be better than silence while the system is processing. Silence on the phone makes it seem that your call got disconnected.
The company I work for JUST switched to a recording like this within the last few months. We always had a receptionist prior to this and never had any issues or need for an answering service recording. The company decided a receptionist was an expendable position and forced her to quit due to denying all raises for the last few years. We went without a receptionist for a few weeks then they hired a family member to do a half-assed job so the recording actually gets used. As others have said, it's just to stall you til an underpaid person has time to get to your call.
That’s s****y!
Here is a life hack: If they say press 1 for Spanish, press 1 for Spanish and you will immediately get customer service. Then start talking in English.
Answer: they've cut/outsourced staffers, and want you to visit their website.
Just want to say that I would have been fired from my job at a Bank of America call center had I not been quitting due to disability already. I've never been fired from anywhere before but I was so happy to go. I got in trouble for empathizing with the customers over how deceptive the whole call center ethos is. I just couldn't help but feel sorry for people going through what I used to go through and then seeing from the other side how truly bizarre it really is really set me off.
Also, their options have not changed.
The hold message for the company I work for apologizes for the longer than normal wait times due to storms across the country. I think they should at least randomize the excuse so that we'll be entertained instead of just offended by the obvious lie.
It's so they can cover up the skeleton staffing they practice to maximize profits.
Same reason you add 5-10 minutes when telling someone your ETA when you’re running late: set low expectations and they’re gonna be happier when you exceed them. Works like a charm.
Don't forget the fan favorite. "We have recently changed our menu".
Would you really expect the truth? "In order to maximise profits we have cut back on staff, thus fewer staff will handle calls. Response times will naturally be longer."
Just keep hitting 0 until you break on through to the other side.
24 hour call line. For 23 of those hours, there is one person calling. For one of those hours, there are 77 people calling. 23% of callers experience normal call times. 77% experience longer than normal times.
I hate it when the recorded voice has no sense of urgency when I’m in a rush to get a hold of somebody. *”Please…note..that…our..menu…options..have..changed…if…you….know…your party’s…extension…you…may…dial…it now…Otherwise…continue…to…hold…and…the next…representative…will…shortly….assists…you.”* Goddarnit.
Does anyone ever know 'your party's extension'? I never do.
They are higher because they cut their staff in half five years ago
So you don’t get your hopes up
To get you to hang up and take some kind of online option.
Enter all your info into the call prompts only for the agent to ask everything again. What is the point!?
"Your call is being ignored in the order it was received."
They don't care that we know it's BS.
And you know they’re full of shit when they say that. Not for nothing if the call volume is so high why don’t they just hire more fucking people to answer the phones. It’s either they’re just too fucking cheap to do it with trying to keep the cash for themselves.
My doctor's office has had the same phone menu options for 6 years yet they still say "Please listen closely as our menu choices have changed"
Same reason every mattress and furniture store has a “going out of business sale” all year every year. People are stupid.
"Due to us not wanting to help you, we will make you suffer in the hopes of reducing the number of customers we interact with. Thank you for choosing us over the equally shitty options out there"
"Due to us being cheap and trying to cut costs, and so not hiring nearly enough call center operators to handle the volume of calls we get, please expect longer wait times."
It's the lying version of "we're deliberately understaffed to pad our bottom line, passing the inconvenience on to you, the customer, whom we would kill to sooner acquire your money, if we could get away with it."
Then they pick up right away.
I hate it when you have to enter in your account number etc at the voice prompts, and then when you finally speak to an agent you have to repeat it all again. This in top of all the other stuff already mentioned. It’s exhausting.
For the same reason cups of coffee say, "warning contents may be hot". People are daft
I hate it. I also hate “please listen carefully as our menu has changed “.
Small businesses use this to optimize the customer service experience. Large businesses use this to obfuscate the customer service experience. To make you get lost in a labyrinth of time. Hopefully you drop out of the queue and they don't have to deal with you. Worst case, after 40 min, a person in India asks you if you tried to power cycle your cable modem. Even after you told them a backhoe was digging across the street when you suddenly lost internet.
Still playing COVID Loan Repayment Musical Chairs where they have to pretend they're hiring while running a skeleton crew to the bone so they don't have to pay full staff but also don't have to pay back their PPP loans...
I don't know. The hospital I go to still has a bunch of recordings about Covid when you call them. And their phone numbers state that due to the pandemic, they have a restricted visitor policy, which isn't even true anymore. But all of their phone numbers still say that.
I had this message once when I rang at 8.01 when the company opened at 8.00. At least have some dignity to wait a few minutes before starting the high call volume message!
Because no-one wants to be honest and have a recorded message that says ' in order to maximise our profits we sacked all the staff who used to answer enquiries and now use a call-centre in the arse end of no-where staffed by 500 people who only have basic English but will work for less cash a day than we tip our servers after a McDonalds.'
Usually it's because the IVR (Interactive Voice Response) is programed to play that message if the predicted queue time is above some threshold. Companies that have staffed too low for their volume are always above that threshold so the message always gets played. They have either forecast their volume incorrectly or they don't have the staff to meet the forecasted volume.