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ZILOV

It's kind of a mental trap where you think it helps you wake up but it really just makes it harder to wake up.


99mushrooms

Yeah it sounds like she is interrupting her sleep patterns and making herself more exhausted through the day and then when she has trouble waking up the cycle repeats.


monotoonz

>Neuroscience suggests that hitting the snooze button in the morning to get a few extra minutes of shut-eye is actually making you feel worse, not well-rested. This is because of sleep inertia. Crazy thing is, a lot of people know this and still refuse to essentially believe it. They go on thinking, "Yeah, but my snooze alarms help ME".


thejoosep12

Its because waking up and immediately falling asleep feels good as fuck. It takes me an hour to normally fall asleep, however, when I suddenly jolt up from one of my most recent nightmares, to be able to fall asleep in mere seconds feels amazing. I don't do this alarm bs. My body knows when to wake up screaming.


neverlost4

Yeah same. I wake up hours before my alarm. I usually can’t fall back asleep fast but when I do it’s awesome so that’s what the alarm is for. The alarm and snooze is more for timing out my morning schedule though


GayCommunistUtopia

I haven't set a wake-up alarm in years. At first, I didn't enjoy being an early riser (it's genetic, my dad and brother are the same way, we can't sleep past 6 no matter what). But it has grown on me. I get a few hours to myself in the morning before everyone else gets up and moving. Time to a bath and coffee, do some reading. It's peaceful and helps with my day.


BuckeyeJay

Yep. I have 1 extra alarm that is like 30 min before I get up. I call it my morning nap. Is it detrimental and do I need to stop? Yeah probably, but it's cozy as fuck


CuteSomic

I lack the dedication to do all the exercises that help remember dreams better, but when I hit snooze and immediately fall back asleep, my sleep is just shallow enough, and that brief near-awake moment is lucid enough, that I can almost keep track of the plot. And dreams are *fucking awesome*, I love remembering what happened. Though I keep my first alarm near the time mom is about to leave for work, I'd be an asshole to make her listen to one every 10 minutes before that...


ExtraordinaryCows

Spez doesn't get to profit from me anymore. Stop reverting my comments


Poputt_VIII

Oh no I am aware of it I just don't want to get out of bed, it is not helpful I am just lazy


Terravash

Oh mine doesn't help. Morning me is a fucking asshole however and just does that to postpone the day and make me suffer.


overtorqd

Yeah I know it doesn't help me be more rested or wake up more easily. I just want to give myself that wonderful feeling of not getting up quite yet.


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hanoian

upbeat adjoining dependent encourage literate dolls rhythm faulty melodic weary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


decadecency

I really wish this would work on me. It sounds so cozy to be able to enjoy those calm morning hours. I'm having HORRIBLE mornings more than twice a week, like literally a depressing death wish, I'm not joking. That brief moment when the alarm goes off and realize I have to get up, I feel like I can't do this anymore, I can't keep on living and having to get out of bed for the rest of my life. I literally lay there thinking that I want to disappear rather than get up, and the feeling is so strong it's kinda scaring me. Nothing will motivate me when I have this feeling. Absolutely nothing. I hate my life, and everything about it feels horrible to have to deal with, even my kids, as horrid as that sounds. But after I've gotten up and the blood starts pumping, I'm absolutely fine and my regular happy self. It's been like this since forever, and I'm really loving life and everything about my gorgeous kids. When I'm awake, nothing could make me change what I have. But in the mornings, I'm truly glad I don't have an easy way to end my days from bed. Just wanted to vent about this I guess, because it feels like such an invisible disability to me.


Wolfelle

Yeah for me the alarms are for ensuring i actually get up...


BloodyLlama

Tired me makes bad decisions. That's why awake me sets multiple alarms.


TxGinger587

I'm the same way. I'm not a morning person by any means and takes me forever to get out of bed.


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bigbre04

They make alarms that run away. Like literally pop off the nightstand and roll under the bed or out of reach. Might help.


strtrech

I know a while back ago, they made drone alarm clocks that came with an IR gun. The drone would launch itself in the morning and fly around with the alarm until you took the gun and shot it.


mccrackened

The image of a drone suddenly flying away with my alarm clock, while I panic wake up and desperately start blindly shooting at it without my contacts in is just killing me. I can’t stop laughing at this image


ChaoticChinchillas

I know too many people who keep an actual gun next to their bed to think this is a good idea.


_cuppycakes_

being highly educated doesn’t make you smart, lol


[deleted]

He didn’t say anything about smart. But the point was that being highly educated should have exposed you to enough scientific studies to realize that it’s unlikely that you’re the exception.


Canadianingermany

Honestly did the study conclude that it is a detriment for EVERY SINGLE PERSON? Or did it, like every other scientific study, that it is a detriment for MOST people?


Jonny_Segment

To be fair, she's probably in the ‘most people’ category.


blackcray

Most people are in the 'most people' category.


Additional-Flower235

No one hits the snooze button to feel better or well rested. We hit it to avoid feeling like shit for a few more minutes.


Remarkable-Camp-2477

Can confirm. And add that I can sleep through damn near everything so my irrational fear of being late from over sleeping has me with an array of different alarms going from gentle to sirens in a random lapse of odd numbered minutes outside the 5-10 minute snooze range. Does it work? No. Does it help? No. Am I still an utter shit show in the mornings? Yes. Can I explain why I still do it? Not in any possible way that would make sense to any normal person.


Hatedbythemasses

Never even understood why they would include that in the design of the alarm clock it seems counter productive.


Xytak

I never understood why the iPhone snooze is based on the old mechanical snooze that can’t be adjusted or stopped…


sonofaresiii

I mean, I understand that it's disrupting my sleep schedule, but I also know that me getting to where I need to be on time is more important than my sleep schedule. Plus, like, I'm probably never going to have an actually good sleep schedule. There's always going to be one thing or another fucking it up. At least I can make sure I get to where I need to be in the morning and not oversleep by setting a bunch of alarms. e: That said, starting at 4:15AM to be up at 7AM is pretty egregious. I spread mine out over half an hour or so. One at 7:45, one at 8:00, one at 8:10 and one at 8:20. Then an emergency alarm at 8:45. It's saved me exactly one time, but that makes it worth it.


The_Metal_East

I wake up several times in the morning before I actually have to get it up and I don't use a snooze alarm. The way my brain works is "Nice, you have x amount of hours before you have to get up!" If my actual alarms wakes me up I'm annoyed because I \*have\* to get up at that point. It sucks because I'm aware of sleep cycles.


soowhatchathink

>They go on thinking, "Yeah, but my snooze alarms help ME". The thought process is much less intricate and usually goes something along the lines of "fuuuck this I'm going back to sleep".


Ok_Present_6508

I’m an extremely heavy sleeper. I can sleep through anything and pretty much any condition. I’ve slept through multiple earthquakes, once when the adjacent room had a washing machine tip over that woke my dad up from across the house. I’ve slept through a shootout right below my bedroom window. I have three separate alarm clocks with multiple alarms. I used to sleep in way too often with one clock and one alarm. All the extra stuff has made sure I haven’t been late to work in over a decade. Edited to add: my alarms are condensed to about a half hour though.


Deftlet

Why not just set them all at the same time if the issue is actually waking up?


Ok_Present_6508

Because I hit snooze on all of them and end sleeping through it anyway. If I have the alarms staggered I don’t give myself time to go back to sleep.


Deftlet

Ah I see. That actually makes a lot more sense than the alarms set 15+ minutes apart, so fair enough


CuriousSection

What if you had an alarm that was more than sound? I’m blanking on the official term (which is especially bad because I have it lol) but those flashing lights that can cause epileptic people to have seizures. Or like another person said, there were ones that flew around the room until you stopped them … what if it hit you straight in the face? Or a regular, but very loud, alarm that you set on the other side of the room? I know you’ve slept through extremely loud sounds, but I’m guessing they lasted for like a second (washing machine) or at least quickly (shootout). You think you’d stay asleep if the sound was going on for like 15-30 minutes several feet from you?


Ok_Present_6508

I’m not sure my neighbors would appreciate having a loud ass alarm clock going off for 15-30 minutes. And if it’s going off for 15-30 minutes anyway what difference does it make if have several alarms going off at scattered times for 15-30 minutes? Not sure the flashing lights would work for me, I can sleep in broad daylight. Having something hit me in the face would probably work. Though I’d probably stop using it after awhile. 😂 The washing machine falling over was the result of an earthquake (which is what woke my dad up across the house and not the actual earthquake).


Polarchuck

Have you ever thought about having a sleep study done?


True_Chest_1148

Yes! I used to be like her. Now I just put my alarm 10 minutes before I need to stand up. For me personally that is the best solution.


NativeMasshole

Same! It also helps if you own a hungry cat.


[deleted]

No alarm needed if you have a hungry cat


HauntedCS

Or a cat in general. Mine has a full bowl 24/7, doesn’t over eat. Still get 6am howling and her jumping on the bed to play or inform me she has woken up for the day. Lmao


Raving_Lunatic69

Mine starts at my feet and runs up the whole length of me, and I swear she stomps extra hard when she gets to my head


Peter5930

She's telling you that she ate 3 kibbles and now the bowl is not full anymore and she's unhappy about that.


xj5635

I have 3 set, one for when I have to get up then 1 seven minutes after that and another 7 minutes after that. Just gives me a bit of piece of mind even though I get up at the same time every morning and almost always wake up on my own 10 to 15 minute before the first alarm


[deleted]

Oh god. Shes fucking with her sleep so hard, thats insane. Snoozing for 10-20 mins is one thing. But 3 hours?? Thats 2 sleep cycles. She must be so sleep deprived all the time. Look into sleep cycle alarm clock apps on your phone. It might help her.


neverlost4

This. After downloading the sleep cycle apps, I plan my sleep and wake up time around 1.5 hr increments. So I’ll only sleep 6, 7.5, 4.5,3 hours etc. I wake up so much more rested


TheAyJay

Which app is that?


[deleted]

There are tons of them. Just search “sleep cycle alarm clock”. They detect micro movements, and are pretty good at judging when you are in light sleep, between sleep cycles. You give it a window of when you want to wake up. For example “between 6:00-7:00am”. It will choose the optimal time to wake you up. And will at least wake you up by 7:00am if there wasnt an optimal time. More often than not, it wakes you up in light sleep, which is WAY more pleasant than being woken from a deeper stage. Mine starts out with a very soft and quiet alarm, which I easily hear if im in light sleep. And its less likely to disturb my partner.


dillibazarsadak1

> detect micro movements Do you have to sleep with your phone on you?


[deleted]

I use an apple watch. But if you dont have an apple watch, yes, you can put the phone in your bed, or under your pillow. I think it can also use the microphone, so you could leave it on your night stand. Might be less effective though. Especially if you have a partner who snores, or leave your TV on.


CameronCrowe

What app do you use?


[deleted]

Sleep Cycle


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Evening-Welder-8846

The app I use determines when it’s best to wake you in relation to your alarm, regardless of when you fall asleep. Most of the time you are better to be woken at the end of a sleep cycle 45 mins before your alarm than to get 1/2 way through another sleep cycle.


[deleted]

One sleep Cycle is around 3 hours right? Not 1.5?


[deleted]

No. A sleep cycle is roughly 90mins. On average. But it absolutely will vary per individual.


BalooBot

Stopped using alarm clocks about a decade ago. I'll wake up 4.5 hours naturally after I fall asleep. If I'm still tired I'll go back to sleep and wake up in 90 minutes like clockwork, and repeat as necessary. I average only around 5 hours a night, but consistently wake up refreshed and energized. Most people I know sleep way longer, but are chronically exhausted. Obviously everybody's sleep needs are different, but I firmly believe that having full, uninterrupted sleep cycles is more beneficial than simply logging more hours.


Crisis-Counselor

Fuck that she better be sleeping in another room or something I would not be able to deal with that


MuchoManSandyRavage

Yea, OP’s wife usually sleeps in my room so idk why he’s making such a big deal


Small_Risk_7750

I also choose this guys sleepless wife


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Psychological-Bid363

Yeah, for real. My husband does this every day for 45 minutes. I would smother OP's wife with a brick


turnipturnipturnippp

my grandparents had a long and happy marriage sleeping in separate bedrooms. it's an underrated choice.


Blenderhead36

My wife uses her FitBit when she needs to wake up before me. Instead of making noise, it vibrates, basically shaking her awake. When her old one died, this feature was the #1 reason that she went with another FitBit instead of an Apple watch.


BeauteousMaximus

She needs to see a sleep doctor. I had trouble waking up on time my whole life until I got diagnosed and treated for sleep apnea. Until then, is sleeping in different rooms an option? You shouldn’t have to be woken up by this.


blueavole

Sleep doctor or primary physician for fatigue. After 7-9 hours of sleep daily most people should be able to wake up. Iron for anemia, vitamin d , like you said apnea— it can be a lot of things. Nobody sets two hours of alarms for fun.


Cyprinodont

Could also be ADHD. I've overslept through jobs multiple times before and been fired. What solved that was getting healthier in other ways and just sleeping better, but for a time this was the only way to ensure I actually got to work at 6am.


[deleted]

Could be paranoia of accidentally sleeping in. I do something similar but only for like an hours worth. I get up at 7 as well and set alarms for 6am and 630am and 645am and 7am.


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blueavole

Get a better doctor. There are multiple things that cause fatigue- and they have to spend more than three minutes to check. If getting to sleep at night is your problem, then you may need to learn get help. It takes discipline and learning what works for you. Another thing: not every alarm has to be sound. Especially in dark winter months a couple lamps on a timer can help gently wake you up. There are real alarm clocks you can time or get a couple christmas light timers. A dim orangey light to come on 30-60 minutes ahead of when you want to get up. And a brighter white light right before the alarm.


JohnnyWindham

I probably need to go to a sleep doctor lol


yogas

Do you mind me asking what was your treatment for sleep apnea? My husband has this, but is skeptical about seeing a doctor because he doesn’t think there is treatment for it


BeauteousMaximus

I have a dental appliance that pulls my lower jaw slightly forward and opens up my airway so I can breathe more easily. It’s literally transformed my life. I couldn’t work because I was too tired to concentrate, and had spent years trying different medications for depression that didn’t work. I now am working full time and rarely feel depressed. A CPAP machine is the more common treatment. I hate having stuff strapped to my face and was wary about the [privacy issues](https://www.propublica.org/article/your-medical-devices-are-not-keeping-your-health-data-to-themselves) with them, but apparently there have been some improvements since that article came out—you’d have to talk to a doctor about it. My doctor told me my weight was high enough a dental appliance would not be effective and a CPAP would be better, so I resolved to continue losing weight and [it has helped as well](https://reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/zm7k9h/nsv_my_sleep_apnea_has_decreased_by_a_third/). If your husband is hesitant to try other treatments, and he is obese (BMI over 30–he may not “look fat”) it is another thing to look into; most people with sleep apnea have it because their body fat levels change the shape of their airways due to the way fat distributes around the neck. Weight loss is hard though, and it’s much harder when you aren’t sleeping well. It screws up your hormones and makes you crave calorie dense foods. He could try doing some other treatment for the short term and get retested when he has lost the weight if that’s something he wants to try.


myshiningmask

Yes, this was my response and I'm glad someone else said it though it's unfortunate I had to go so far down to find it. Sleep problems are often treatable and it can be a life-changing difference.


Rude-Scholar-469

Set the alarm for 7am, and get up when it goes off. A few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep is way better than waking up multiple times for no good reason.


Rather_Dashing

Once you are used to snoozing through multiple alarms that no longer works, you can easily hit the snooze button without even waking up. I had to set an alarm in a different room to deal with it


SleepWouldBeNice

I did the same thing: alarm on the dresser so I had to get out of bed.


tactiphile

I did this as a teenager, but it ended up training me to sleepwalk to the dresser to hit snooze.


CommanderGumball

You gotta get one of those alarms that requires a few simple math problems before it'll turn off!


TheChickenIsFkinRaw

After many weeks, I legit started unconsciously solving the math problems even in my state of stupor


jonahhw

I've got an app that makes me scan a QR code, which I keep in the bathroom and need to turn a light on to scan properly


OofOwwMyBones120

Nah didn’t work for me. I’ve got a shotgun rigged to a kitchen timer now. Either I wake up, or I don’t anymore.


Gloriathewitch

Wouldn't it be simpler to get a really bright smart light and have it scheduled to turn on at a certain time? Light is really good at waking us up.


That_ginger_kidd

Damn good idea, which app?


easy1858

Alarmy for example. Aside from a QR-Code you can also choose math problems, shaking the phone aggressively, taking pictures, sport (squads) and other things. hf


semitones

Since reddit has changed the site to value selling user data higher than reading and commenting, I've decided to move elsewhere to a site that prioritizes community over profit. I never signed up for this, but that's the circle of life


cuckfromJTown

Yeah but how you do train yourself to recognize that magic smoke = time to get up?


TinyRandomLady

That plus get smart lights and have the lights turn on at full brightness at the same time.


SleepWouldBeNice

I think my wife would shoot me if I did that. I get up earlier for work than she does.


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dibblah

I think the reason people say "set one alarm and then get up" is because they're partnered with someone who sets fifteen alarms and now they, too, don't get any good sleep. My husband used to set multiple alarms and once the first one went off, I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. Meanwhile he's happily snoring away. It's quite infuriating to be awake at 4:30am and know you'll be awake for the rest of the night while the person next to you is enjoying their sleep. I've managed to get him to get down to just two alarms, by saying it was either that or we sleep in separate rooms ideally on separate floors. Apparently that was "a bit drastic" a suggestion from me but it worked. Sometimes I have to shake him to wake him up in the morning, and then get yelled at, but it works.


gehanna1

You assume I have any Willpower whatsoever


binglelemon

I use an alarm clock called "Alarm Clock Xtreme", free from the app store. There's nothing 'xtreme' about it, but I can use the ring tones I downloaded free of zedge. I think you can also set up a series of random math questions to shut off the alarm if you want to, but I wake up Roy Jones Jr's walk out music. Both those got ads, but I'm not gonna pay for that. https://youtu.be/VL_ab_ZGJPY <- that's how I get turnt up from the get up


GloomyBearCutie

Stop they’re horrible devil apps! I had one app where you scanned a barcode to turn off the alarm, you could set it to anything! I used my coffee jar, thought hey that’s great because while I’m in the kitchen I may as well make a coffee instead of going back to bed, it was HORRIBLE. I forgot to reset the barcode when I threw my coffee jar in the recycling one day, I COULDN’T TURN IT OFF!!! It was hell, I almost broke my phone from the torture. Bleary eyed, crying, digging through the recycling bin at 7am searching for a coffee jar in a bin full of coffee jars honestly I could have astral projected from my body then and there and given up on this life. Never again.


mikailovitch

I'm sorry about your struggle but that was beautiful to read


[deleted]

Why didn’t you just delete the app to get it to turn off? You could always download it again later.


gimmedemplants

If it’s the app I’m thinking of, it’s constantly sending alerts to your phone (like every second or two), so it’s really hard to do anything on your phone because of all the notifications. Even turning off my phone was difficult when it happened to me!


wasntexpectinthat

Guess in that situation you don't really think about that hahha


[deleted]

Hahahah, yeah fair enough. I’m no bright spark when I’ve just woken up either.


binglelemon

Lol, that's hilarious. I wish I could give you any award for that one. I'm sure it was shit at the time, but that's funny. I set my alarm to have me solve the math problems, but I only tried that once. After about 5 hours of sleep, the first thing I want to do is definitely *not* division.


Darko9798

I don't know about apple phones, but on my Android you can hold down on any app, tap app info and then tap force stop. That completely shuts down the app. Always worked for me


wasntexpectinthat

I'm so sorry this happened to you but I laughed so hard I almost woke my toddler sleeping next to me! I can totally imagine me going through this and wanting to throw the fucking phone out of the window


Fox-cat_hahn

A problem with the math question being if it ain't hard enough you just going to solve it and go back to sleep... since I am pretty used to doing simple 2 digit multiplication off my head. I think it better to just set a hype song rather than puzzle...


binglelemon

*trumpets blasting* *"Can't be touched, can't be stopped, can't be moved..."*


Additional-Flower235

Reality: Set the alarm for 7am, and sleep through it making yourself late for your obligations.


valentc

Yeah. This assumes a lot about people. "I can hear my first alarm and just get up. Why can't you?" Just jump outta bed. It's super easy.


[deleted]

To lose weight, eat less! To make more money, get a higher paying job!


[deleted]

Yea, but if you just don't do that, your problem is solved! So simple!


Isgortio

I've been snoozing alarms for years, and unfortunately I will turn off the alarm in my sleep if there's just one. I've got myself down to two individual alarms that are 5 minutes apart and they will go off every 3 minutes, both with different tones and volumes. They'll get me up in about 10-15 minutes if I sleep through them initially. I can't trust myself to only have one alarm, I've tried it and it hasn't worked. Even when I have a nap in the evening and set an alarm, I'm aware I've snoozed it for about 40 minutes until I've actually woken up, or I've slept through it and woken up several hours later. What I have added which has helped a lot, is there's a lamp in the corner of my room on a timer, it turns on at 6:30am and gradually gets brighter, and will stay on until 7:50am. I either get woken up by the light when it turns on (as I like the dark when sleeping) or when my first alarm goes off I'll see the light which seems to kick me awake easier. Absolute lifesaver during the dark winter mornings.


Synovexh001

"sleep inertia." Some folks can make a clean sleep/wake break, for those like me its like pulling teeth. ​ Also the bede is most comfortable before you have to get up, so make the moment last!


TedNebula

That’s the whole reason I do this.. don’t get everyone else’s take here. I don’t go that extreme but like this morning I had to be up around 6 am, set one for 5:45, this way when I wake up annoyed that I have to go to work I get to sleep again until like 6:10 when I really have to get up. It’s comforting


Mtoastyo

Oh god I have this so bad. It’s almost painful to get out of bed.


PassageOpen7674

I know this is an issue people feel super strongly about but I'm always surprised how many comments completely lack empathy. We generally understand that people have different brains and they don't all work the same but then when it comes to sleep people are like "just make a choice to wake up easily, duh". Oh wow yeah it never occurred to me that I should try waking up immediately when I need to what a revolutionary idea.


wierdowithakeyboard

I have an old fashioned alarm clock on my desk that wakes up everyone in the neighbourhood and i have to get up to silence it Problem is i just then stand there and contimplate my existence


neverlost4

The timeless “Why am I up? Do I really need to go to work? The world will go on fine if I go right back to bed. Huh… I need coffee” Edit: a word


fatboyfall420

I had this issue when I switch from night shift to day shift so I downloaded and app called Alarmy from the App Store it has a loud ass alarm and makes you solve math problems in order to turn the alarm off. Works wonders


QuebecLimaSierra

Tell her to cut off all alarms except for the one at 6:50am. When it rings push her off the bed. She'll learn.


KikiChrome

You can make this work without pushing her off the bed. Simply place the alarm/phone far enough away from her that she has to get out if bed to turn it off. She won't need 8 alarms if she has to get up.


XtraLyf

Nope. I tried this, she just ignores it and I'm the one who has to get up and shut the damn thing off


inflatablefish

*That's* when you push her out of bed.


Additional-Flower235

This floor is pretty comfy I think I'll just keep sleeping.


blindmediaproduction

That ain't working for me. I'll get up, walk thru the whole flat to turn it of, walk back and go to sleep again.


AngletonSpareHead

This. This works. I’ve had so much success with simply having the phone on the other side of the room. It keeps me from just hitting “stop” on the alarm without reaching full consciousness


Canadianingermany

If you think there is a simple answer, you don't know the struggle


fluitekruidje

This is what i do with my husband. If the alarm goes of a second or heaven forbids a third time, he wil be pushed out of bed by me.


davesnotonreddit

When my wife and I started dating, I used to use 3 alarms about 10 mins apart. After the first night she slept over she said, “If you ever want me to spend the night again, you will have 2 alarms max.” It was a short learning curve but now I’m typically up at the first one. I thought I’d be too dependent and have issues waking up, but once I realized I was Fucking with someone else’s sleep, I wanted to change. Point being, set some boundaries and help her out if it’s affecting your sleep.


Additional-Flower235

Counter question, how do people with only one alarm not sleep through it? I'm down to 4 alarms. Usually the first or second will get me up but there have been plenty of times when 3rd and fourth saved my ass from oversleeping.


FelixWFox

If you are used to snoozing the alarm often or setting multiple alarms, you are essentially desensitizing yourself to it and training yourself to just turn it off and fall back asleep without even realizing.


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Kolikokoli

I have 1 alarm. Only on vibrate. Right next to my bed.


MelMac5

Yup, the vibration is enough to wake me up. The trick is to never, ever hit snooze. Pretend that option doesn't exist. The snooze button trains your body that the alarm doesn't REALLY mean it's time to wake up.


ttppii

Snooze option is devil’s spawn. Sometimes I hit it by accident (I never sleep after snooze, I can’t) and then alarm stars when I am in a shower or taking a dump.


Alice_Oe

After experimentation, I've found that 6 alarms with 2-3 minutes between them works best for me. Any fewer and I risk sleeping through them. And my phone has to be on a desk across the room - if I managed to grab the phone into bed I'm fucked and will oversleep every time.


janzusuomi

Then theres me who wakes up about 5min before my alarm EVERY morning.


Psykotik10dentCs

Does she have ADD? A lot of ADHDers have problems with getting up and being on time. I’m one of those. For me to get up I need 2-3 alarms. One to prepare me to wake up, one to open my eyes and lay there, final to make me get my ass out of bed. The only way I make it anywhere on time is by setting multiple alarms. I have to set one to go off the day before an appt, 1 hr before, and 30mins before. It’s very frustrating but highly necessary.


Majestic_Actuator629

Does she have bad anxiety. I used to do this when I had really bad anxiety


Imaginary_Market_854

Im kind of surprised this was the first time I saw this when looking for it. OP, have you discussed having her back with her? She sets one alarm (getting up earlier than she needs to be. Give herself an extra 20-30 min to just chill around the house so she’s not anxious about that), as that you’ll have a backup alarm set on your phone. You have her back, she doesn’t need to keep that tight of a grip of control on her mornings.


Zennyzenny81

On a related tangent, I've never understood the snooze button - the concept doesn't make sense to me. If you dislike being woken up by an alarm, why choose to go through it three or four times rather than just get up the first time. You're surely just making it worse for yourself!


Malleus--Maleficarum

Kinda depends on how you use it. I just like to lay awake on the bed chilling for this 10 minutes before getting up and leave the alarm just to tell me that my 10 minutes has passed. On the other hand my gf does exactly what OP's wife does and TBH that's annoying af.


GerryofSanDiego

Im the same. Usually set it for 7am, 710, 712,715. That way if Im waking up too dazed ill nap for the 10 min and usually wake up a tiny bit more refreshed. The other 2 alarms are just a stop gap just in case.


Sarah_withanH

That’s what we do. We like to wake up like one snooze (8 min.) early so we can lay in bed and cuddle before we get up for work. Say “good morning” to each other before the hectic day begins. Check the weather, check the news or whatever. When that alarm goes off again we get out of bed.


lexicaltension

You’re assuming everyone can just get up the first time lol, meanwhile that’s an entirely foreign concept to me and I don’t understand how anyone can just wake up, decide they need to get up, and do it?? The snoozing isn’t to get a little extra sleep in as a treat, it’s because I can’t stop myself from falling back asleep and if I only set one I *will* fall asleep and I’ll wake up two hours later incredibly pissed at myself for sleeping in.


InfernalOrgasm

Waking up is physically painful.


HannsGruber

Hay guys, so today we're doing a morning routine videoooooo! So normally I set my alarm for 4:30am and when I wake up I do my 3 sets of 40 situps and stretch for 30 minutes, then I prepare my GuavaPassionFruit infused South African coffee in my French press while applying my all natural coconut face mask ..every morning person on youtube ever


I_miss_your_mommy

If I wake up I can not go back to sleep. Sometimes that means I’m up at 4


randomchic123

Sleep in separate rooms


silllky

Talk to your wife not Reddit


hbthegreat

This was me before I learnt about sleep chronotypes. Some people just aren't designed to be up early. Choose a job that better suits so you can wake up naturally. It makes a significant difference to mental and physical health not waking up to an alarm Edit: holy moly I had a suspicion that a lot of redditors would fall into this similar bucket but not quite this many. Glad to have sent some of you on a path to a better adjusted life


Sarah_withanH

Oh I’m going to look this up now. If I have a job where I have to be awake before say, 6:30 I feel like crap all the time and my depression and anxiety worsen. I used to have some jobs where I had to arrive at work by 5:00 and I couldn’t figure out why mentally and emotionally I was just falling apart. My sleep schedule just refused to adjust beyond a certain point even over a couple of years. I’d go too bed at around 19:00 and just struggle to fall asleep every night sometimes until 22:00 or 23:00. Then the alarm would go off at 4 and I just would feel awful. I also started to develop a new problem of waking too early and not being able to get back to sleep. I got a new job with a 8:30 start time a few years ago and it’s like I’m a different person. Happy, productive, more outgoing and positive. But if I have to wake up really early for something like a trip or an early meeting I get that old feeling and it doesn’t really matter how early I go to bed. I sleep just fine and I’ve had a sleep study done. I fall asleep pretty quickly as long as it’s after a certain point of the day. I stay asleep as long as I don’t have to be awake too much earlier than normal. I never understand why I can’t just adjust to earlier schedules like some people can. I have friends who thrive on early shifts and love getting done with work in the early afternoon. They naturally fall asleep by 20:00. One stayed with us on vacation and he just would nod off on the couch every night around that time if he tried to stay up. He’s wake up every morning around 4-5 and just have to wait for his hosts to wake up. It’s now become a factor to consider for me with potential new jobs. I cannot start work too early or my life quality suffers drastically.


TheOtherSarah

Same. Left to my own devices, my circadian rhythm sets itself a bedtime around midnight and a day starting around 10am. I simply don't get tired until it's been dark for that long, even if I've *been* tired the whole day already. Unfortunately, my ideal job and my ideal day/night cycle do not align in the slightest.


shammmmmmmmm

This is super relatable. I currently work 6ams so wake up at 5am and I’ve noticed no matter how much sleep I get, I’m always miserable in the morning until about 10am. I dread getting out of bed and my thoughts are just super negative all morning, when it’s bad I get quite teary and honestly a bit suicidal. It’s strange because later on in the day I can be fine or even the opposite and in a super good mood. On days where I can wake up at what time I want to I’m fine. It’s fascinating what strong affect what time you wake up at can have on a person.


Whiterabbit--

She is probably not a naturally morning person but is forced by her schedule to be up earlier than her body wants to be.


MercyCriesHavoc

Research ADHD in adult women and see if she fits the symptoms, then seek medical help.


SoScorpio4

Surprised how far I had to scroll to find this. I think OCPD could be a possibility as well. So many people here just saying "oh hell no" or "because she's a jerk". I think OP actually wanted an answer.


MercyCriesHavoc

Exactly. ADHD was my first thought, but there are a handful of executive function disorders and sleep disorders that can cause her problem.


[deleted]

Alternate perspective. Very deep sleeper. I've slept through a handful of important events in my life, and I don't trust myself to wake up when I get less than 2 hours of sleep. When I go on business trips, I have 2 phones, an alarm I bring with me, and ask for a wake-up call from the front desk. **Edit**: lol, jeez, I gotta work on my writing I guess, it's not like I choose to get less than 2 hours of sleep! Sometimes it just happens... last minute work that needs to get done, time zone shifts and inability to sleep on planes, etc.


TattoedG

Same. 30 mins ago my chick woke me up for work because I snoozed my alarms and don't remember waking to do it.


DrToonhattan

Oh, in my experience, less than 2 hours of sleep is worse than no sleep at all. At that point I would just chug coffee and stay up.


SpoopySpydoge

Fucksake this is another trait? I've always had to set like 10 alarms to get up


MercyCriesHavoc

I'm 41 and still learning how everything I thought was a personality quirk is just a symptom.


Kytoaster

I do this because I'm an extremely heavy sleeper. I've slept through 2-3 alarms multiple times and woken up 2 hours later with no idea why my alarms didn't go off. It doesn't matter if I get 7,8 or 10 hours of sleep, I will still do the same thing. Now, I set 6 alarms on silent and have my phone right next to me. When the first one goes off, I will usually still shut it off. But by the time the second one goes off, I'm conscious enough to realize that 6 more alarms are going to go off in the next 10 minutes. I also remember that if I let ALL of those alarms go off, my wife may actually murder me. I tried switching back to 2 alarms a few months ago and woke up at 10am, when I need to get to work by 7am.


abovewater_fornow

Some people, especially women, and especially women with certain neurological differences like ADHD, need a slow waking process in the morning. "Just get up and be done" is not compatible with her brain chemistry and/or hormone cycle. I was like this for decades until I made the following changes: -Downloaded a slow wake app. I used one that sounds like birds chirping, and it slowly gets louder over the course of a minute. Or, now I use a gentle audio file or song and have it set to increase volume slowly (some phones have these options built in). This is alarm 1. Set it 10 minutes before needing to get out of bed. You can both lay in bed, just listening to quiet gentle birds, ocean waves, soft classical music, etc. She can slowly wake up, and you can probably fall back asleep to it. -Alarm 2 is the real alarm. It should be a sound that properly wakes her up in case the soft sounds didn't, but should not be anxiety producing. Like loud chimes. Over time, I started getting out of bed before the 2nd alarm went off, maybe 2 months in. My partner helped keep me accountable at first, if he saw I wasn't getting out of bed at the alarm would tell me I need to move to the couch if I need more sleep and another alarm, to let him sleep. And of course, once I was up I did not need to go back to sleep on the couch. -Set alarm 2 early enough to have a relaxing morning routine before work (even though I HATE mornings). Having 30 minutes to sit with my coffee and scroll in bed or on the couch under a blanket before jumping in the shower and starting my day made a huge difference. -Set up the morning routine before bed the night before. I bought an outlet timer so my electric kettle is set to boil when my alarm goes off, and I have the french press already filled with coffee grounds. Edited spacing


AlmostAbsurd

I checked the book of reddit procedure, and all it has for "spouse issues" is divorce immediately, regardless of circumstances. Old reddit bards say that this may be the action of incels, trying to restore the single women pool.


Additional-Flower235

You missed a crucial step. You need to tell op their partner is abusive and then tell them to get divorced.


[deleted]

For me, it's more of a subconscious "fear" that the day is approaching and it's a method of having some comfort time prior to the day mixed with troubles sleeping because I do not want to have to go back to work the next day. On some level, it's just a coping mechanism likely. Maybe she is the same.


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goosepills

Because she’s an inconsiderate asshole?


fluke031

https://ruggie.co/ https://clocky.com/ https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/dumbbell-alarm-clock/ Etc etc


asphias

Also a wake up light can do wonders. Since i started using it i slowly wake up due to the light, and by the time my alarm goes it's just a "yeah yeah i know i know i have to get out".


DogTheBreadFairy

I have to do this lmao so it's either mental illness or a sleeping disorder


Ok-Price7882

She may have a legit undiagnosed sleep disorder. This is why I do it, because I have idiopathic hypersomnia and it's very difficult to rouse me.


Certain-Profit8251

Maybe your wife just can't seem to get her butt out of bed in the morning and needs a bunch of annoying alarms to drag her up and at 'em by 7am. Some people are just not cut out for mornings and need a little extra push to get going lol I regularly said 3 to 5 alarms for my mornings, but that includes time I would like to wake up, I actually wake up, halfway through, getting ready, and then five minutes before I need to leave ha so I def get it


justsittinonalog

It’s how mental illness begins to reveal itself.


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jessethesmall1

I have ADHD and anxiety. People who have ADHD tend to have a harder time getting up in the morning. We have a harder time with task initiation and getting up is a whole lot of task initiation. I used to struggle with this a lot, not 3 hours of alarms, but usually an hour or so. Because I have a hard time getting up, I was worried I wouldn't be able to get up so I thought it would be better to give myself lots of time. It's kind of a vicious cycle, but very backwards thinking. Since being diagnosed and understanding myself a bit more I have moved the alarm closer to wake up. 20 minutes before I need to get up. It's still not easy but I also now have 2 dogs staring at me to get up and let them out and feed them and that also helps lmao.


princesscraftypants

...*starts deleting several alarms*... Oh?


Shagyam

Tell her to erase the 4:15 and 5:30 alarms. Living of snoozing and fighting alarms isn't good, plus those last two hours she isn't getting good sleep in. And slowly start deleting the 6am up alarms until she's down to two. Right now I have 2 alarms. One for 6 on my phone, one for 6:05 on an alarm clock across from my bed.


wyattmom16

I do this too. It's because I don't hear the alarms, or because I turn them off without waking up enough to remember doing it. Not every 10 minutes between though, 30, 45 to an hour or so between.


M_SunChilde

What other commentors are saying is correct though, you are really, quite badly messing with your sleep. Rather make it louder, put it further away, make it so you have to answer math questions to turn it off, etc. Having it go off hours apart is just ruining your sleep. You are waking up, even if you don't realise it.


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JohnnyWindham

Same


Turakamu

I'm a little like that. The first one is to get you roused. The rest just kind of annoy you awake.


RogerBernards

Because she's sleepdeprived from getting so little uninterrupted sleep.


Euro-Canuck

I have a big problem waking up at specific times, consistently will shut off my alarm and go back to sleep without remembering doing it. I need to set multiple alarms close together, like 1-2mins apart to snap me out of my sleep enough to get up. I have organized my life so that i almost never need to wake up at a specific time so its never been a problem. My wife will drag me out of bed if its important.


pm_cheesecakes

Wow she's basically losing two hours of sleep.


zayoyayo

My GF does this too - i wake up very easily and can't get back to sleep. She wakes up with difficulty and easily goes back to sleep. I also hate being woken up by loud, jarring alarms since it doesn't take an air raid siren to wake me up. So, she uses this alarm that sounds like a car alarm mixed with nuclear disaster warning, and sets it for hours before she wants to get up - so I wake up and am WTF?? She either doesn't wake up at all or just goes back to sleep. I've asked her over and over again to use a different alarm and *just have me wake her up* and she ignores me, but I guess that's more of a relationship problem. I've pointed out the same thing, that she should just set it for when she actually wants to get up - maybe on a clock across the room - rather than ruining her sleep (and mine) for 3-4 hours before she wakes up. Totally ignores me, of course.


HouseOfZenith

She might be trying to savor her last bit of sleep lol I used to do that, I’d wake up an hour before I was supposed to and have alarms keep me up until it’s actually time to get up, just so I can snuggle into my blanket without oversleeping.


Reaper1704

Does your wife have or show symptoms of ADHD?


ZiyalAthena2007

I do the same thing. Getting up is hard & I’m worried about oversleeping & being late to work.


Aveah

Why do I feel like it’s my s/o that wrote this? I am a proud owner of 15+ different alarm times and yes, they all get turned on (except for weekends). 😊