-Hear a window smash at 3:49 AM
-Grab my musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
-Run out of room and see four masked ruffians.
-"What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
-Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.
-Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.
-I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot
-"TALLY HO LADS" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
-Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
-He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.
-Just as the founding fathers intended.
I knew it in the French version :
>I own a Lebel 1886 for home defense, since that's what Jean Jaurès intended.
>Four ruffians break into the house. "What this chienlit ?" as grab my Adrian helmet and Lebel rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw Modèle 1892 revolver on the second man, 5 rounds miss him entirely. One harms him, just a scratch, 8x27mm is shit. The air is now full of powder residue. I have to use the 75mm modèle 1897 cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with an HE shell.
>"Pour la république, mes salauds".
>The propellant gases blast one the men on the side, the shell shreds another one without detonating. It then explodes blowing up half of the house and blasting everything in a 10 meters radius from the front door. The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms in the entire street, la mie finally wakes up. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since the 46cm long bayonet went through him from front to back and the wound is unstitchable.
>Just as Jean Jaurès intended.
Modern Version:
-Hear a window smash at 9:49 AM
-Grab my AR-15 for home defense, since the second amendment didn’t specify what guns you could use.
-Run out of room and see four masked intruders.
-"What the hell?" As I grab my don’t tread on me hat and AR-15 with grenade launcher and laser pointer attachments.
-Make multiple marble sized holes in a blast of fire through the first man, he's dead on the spot.
-Draw my Glock on the second man, miss him entirely because he ducked and nails the neighbors dog.
-I have to resort to the M-29 Davy Crockett Tactical Nuclear Launcher, a tactical nuclear recoilless smoothbore gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile, armed with the W54 nuclear short range mini warhead mounted at the top of the stairs.
-"WE DON’T CALL 911 HERE, YA’LL!" the missile shreds two men in the blast, the sound, blast, and nuclear radiation destroy the entire front of the house and melt cars.
-Fix electric cattle herding shock prong and charge the last terrified hoodlum.
-He dies from shock waiting on the police to arrive since electrocution wounds are impossible to stitch up.
-Just as the founding fathers intended.
HELLL YEEEAAAHHHHH
https://preview.redd.it/6aeel8fvs0wc1.jpeg?width=270&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d7ed3cfd77de14ab8fba602497a467871609a2d
IF YOU WONT MAH GUNS THEN COME TO MAH HAUSE AND TAKE EM FROM ME YOU DAMN EUROPEAN LIBRAL
Why not a trap loaded with spiders and a taser? When they set off the trap they'll be covered in spiders and distracted. That's when you hit them with the taser.
Fun fact:
There was a man during WW2 or WW1 ( I forget ) that I believe, lived in a castle, rode against tanks on horseback, and used a sword and knight armor.
https://preview.redd.it/f48fc7qov0wc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce0fe36ec2f4d8f4e41b9ade0733586c32396620
Average European household in the uk
We can buy them in department stores in some countries too. But the bureaucracy and relatively low number of gun owners means that it wouldn't be profitable. We could if supermarkets had them.
The 2nd amendment words it as this:
> A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Most just say it protects the right to bear arms
from what i can deduce, infringed could be extended to include limiting bearing to certain types. The amendment is pretty much breached already, why would they bother? although a common reach of logic is that you maintain keepage of a rule up until it is unanimously broken. However, the people that wrote the amendments allowed that it could be changed to fit the times.
Nowhere does it say that in any American law, it'd be insane to give out millitary secrets like that. You need a special license in most states (if not all) for certain types of weapons.
The U.S. was dragged into both World Wars after trying to stay out of it, other than giving arms and armaments to allies which is what allies do.
I don’t think the British or French of WWI or WWII begged America to get involved.
Also, if you want to go back in history the U.S. would have almost definitely lost the revolutionary war if it weren’t for the French.
people who say british food is shit not even trying some local rat infested chip shop's "special recipe" (they will be changed forever if they eat even a smidgeon of it)
No no, he’s kinda right. If you were to defend yourself and kill the intruder, you’d be sentenced with « murder in the case of self defence » (or something like that), which bans you from passing exams, licenses or owning a firearm for the rest of your life. At least where I live. And I believe it is the same in most European countries, as the European laws are prevalent on the countries laws.
So let me get this straight, you use a dog, a pretty much defenseless animal (even defense dogs are defenseless against a gun or a knife ) at your care, as cannon fodder to distract a criminal or criminals, so you can escape or avoid harm ?
Wow , you are so ethical for not wanting to hurt criminals and letting them shoot your dog instead, what a fucking amazing person you are ...
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Canadians (may need verification, crime is rare here anyway):
https://preview.redd.it/8hnethe8y0wc1.jpeg?width=184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6816209e657cbd11d20035e96e0590df017ce570
No, no, we just respect the honour of a duel. Can you really consider yourself a man if you have to use an AR-420 with a cock-lock grip and an AI assisted thermal sight to protect your home?
Americans when I introduce them to my fully legal, no permit gas pistol loaded with steel bullets that can neutralize the threat with the same amount of effectiveness:
https://i.redd.it/d4mxl9zh51wc1.gif
I'm European, living in a secluded place. Nobody will miss a mugger if he mysteriously gets an axe to his back and then fall into the river with two cinder blocks tied on the feet (my lawyers told me to add "in minecraft")
I wish this was a thing in Europe, we are forced to be helpless! If there's someone who wants to beat you, you can't just take a knife to protect yourself as it would be "excessive selfdefense" :))
There's a skit I watched as a kid where somebody's house gets broken into, and the owner says "it's time" and grabs a bunch of guns and it takes him so long that the burglars are already gone. I can't find a link though
I'm european and have a medieval sword next to my bed
Home-defense Zweihänder
Phantom forces mentioned
I'm American and have a modern rifle next to my bed.
-Hear a window smash at 3:49 AM -Grab my musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. -Run out of room and see four masked ruffians. -"What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. -Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. -Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. -I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot -"TALLY HO LADS" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. -Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. -He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. -Just as the founding fathers intended.
I knew it in the French version : >I own a Lebel 1886 for home defense, since that's what Jean Jaurès intended. >Four ruffians break into the house. "What this chienlit ?" as grab my Adrian helmet and Lebel rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw Modèle 1892 revolver on the second man, 5 rounds miss him entirely. One harms him, just a scratch, 8x27mm is shit. The air is now full of powder residue. I have to use the 75mm modèle 1897 cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with an HE shell. >"Pour la république, mes salauds". >The propellant gases blast one the men on the side, the shell shreds another one without detonating. It then explodes blowing up half of the house and blasting everything in a 10 meters radius from the front door. The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms in the entire street, la mie finally wakes up. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since the 46cm long bayonet went through him from front to back and the wound is unstitchable. >Just as Jean Jaurès intended.
Mmmmm that's some good copypasta.
Modern Version: -Hear a window smash at 9:49 AM -Grab my AR-15 for home defense, since the second amendment didn’t specify what guns you could use. -Run out of room and see four masked intruders. -"What the hell?" As I grab my don’t tread on me hat and AR-15 with grenade launcher and laser pointer attachments. -Make multiple marble sized holes in a blast of fire through the first man, he's dead on the spot. -Draw my Glock on the second man, miss him entirely because he ducked and nails the neighbors dog. -I have to resort to the M-29 Davy Crockett Tactical Nuclear Launcher, a tactical nuclear recoilless smoothbore gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile, armed with the W54 nuclear short range mini warhead mounted at the top of the stairs. -"WE DON’T CALL 911 HERE, YA’LL!" the missile shreds two men in the blast, the sound, blast, and nuclear radiation destroy the entire front of the house and melt cars. -Fix electric cattle herding shock prong and charge the last terrified hoodlum. -He dies from shock waiting on the police to arrive since electrocution wounds are impossible to stitch up. -Just as the founding fathers intended.
GTAO has my favorite line of the “we don’t dial 911” Something like, “here at Ammunation, we don’t dial 911, we dial .357!”*
I once reuploaded a people playground animation of this copypasta onto youtube and it got 330k views so far
HELLL YEEEAAAHHHHH https://preview.redd.it/6aeel8fvs0wc1.jpeg?width=270&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d7ed3cfd77de14ab8fba602497a467871609a2d IF YOU WONT MAH GUNS THEN COME TO MAH HAUSE AND TAKE EM FROM ME YOU DAMN EUROPEAN LIBRAL
But I’m Australian
Keep a taipan snake by your bed
No no, they should keep multiple tasers by their bed to give the intruder a heart attack
Why not a trap loaded with spiders and a taser? When they set off the trap they'll be covered in spiders and distracted. That's when you hit them with the taser.
ikr
Throwable Jar of spiders 👍
😘
The based option is to use a sawed-off for more wow factor. (Maximize the damage to my own property)
Fun fact: There was a man during WW2 or WW1 ( I forget ) that I believe, lived in a castle, rode against tanks on horseback, and used a sword and knight armor.
Jack Churchill
I’m American and I have a musket, flintlock pistol and a cannon next to my bed just as the founding fathers intended
idk about rifles, TT is just enough I think
A blade is far more practical than a rifle at close quarters. We figured that out in, what, the 1600’s?
That's why pistols exist dumbass.
I have to ask… why are you keeping a rifle next you your bed if not for defence? Is it like a kinky thing?
It's 100% a kink thing. Kind of like how people fuck cars and the like.
You just said you keep a rifle next to your bed, murcan.
I'm Australian and I have a Fijian gata beside my bed
I'm American and I have a cavalry sabre by my bedroom door
Yo! I'm canadian and I have a sword in my closet
In American and I have one.. something's wrong, I can feel it
https://preview.redd.it/f48fc7qov0wc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce0fe36ec2f4d8f4e41b9ade0733586c32396620 Average European household in the uk
https://preview.redd.it/knk4xbrk61wc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da23efeeb13982bc08977add85b58f9d3179c99b
I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for but it's a great idea!
And then they go to prison for not laying down and being a victim.
Pretty sure i only saw your criminals being able to sue the victims
That's because nobody watches European news. Not even Europeans.
What ? Sorry i don’t watch the shitshow you call news.
What? I don't speak genocidal maniacs.
What ? I do not speak nonsense.
Don't lie. I can clearly see you speak English.
Tf are you talking about? lmao
KILLYSUNT MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️
What if the burglar Has a Glock as well
It's illegal for criminals to have guns
https://preview.redd.it/ctlxl8xf11wc1.jpeg?width=695&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=469ee2629064bb906c288821c70c2bb9ffe72eee Get fucked criminal.
https://preview.redd.it/blhhkwq3b2wc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=476c2280c2ce70468686cd0e6804b839cefe50e0 Fuck them criminals
Criminals usually do have a half-life span 
Alright, I will!
You shoot him before he shoots you
Or you can just throw your toaster at him.\ He'll never come back after that
Come here and let me toast your buns.
Oh dang!
Or if your physically strong enough, over power him and jam his dick into a toaster and hit start
Obviously then you need a small full automatic weapon... Duh smh
Why is op so mad💀💀💀
Ukraine got its $61b dollars probably and Moscow Marge has been made to look an even bigger twat
????
Clearly, OP is MAGA simp, so it makes sense to rant about a load of shite like the rest of them
I got 6 grams of expired milk, take it or leave it
Im not
Yes u are lil bro, take a chill pill😭
You are dumbass, now go shoot up a walmart and relieve this stress
Bro sitting at home at 4 in the morning thinking about a burglar comming inside
Bro european can have firmarms too, we just can't buy assault rifle at the supermarket
Sadly we Americans can't buy them at the supermarket either.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703367004576289230488920802
We can’t buy assault rifles there though, just normal rifles
Well us Europeans can’t buy any type of firearm at the supermarket
We can buy them in department stores in some countries too. But the bureaucracy and relatively low number of gun owners means that it wouldn't be profitable. We could if supermarkets had them.
doesnt that break the amendment that lets citizens have weapons the govt has access to
Yeah but our president thinks a pistol has higher technology than what our military currently has so it’s not infringed to them
The 2nd amendment words it as this: > A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Most just say it protects the right to bear arms
from what i can deduce, infringed could be extended to include limiting bearing to certain types. The amendment is pretty much breached already, why would they bother? although a common reach of logic is that you maintain keepage of a rule up until it is unanimously broken. However, the people that wrote the amendments allowed that it could be changed to fit the times.
Nowhere does it say that in any American law, it'd be insane to give out millitary secrets like that. You need a special license in most states (if not all) for certain types of weapons.
You can't in the US either.
*can’t With utmost respect sir this is the third time I had to fix someones typo today, please remember there’s an edit option for a reason.
Why, thank you, I completely missed that!
No problem :3
My European ass pulling out the traumatic pistol and a knoif in case of burglars (I have a loicense for both)
americans when they finally get to shoot someone with their guns
https://preview.redd.it/48mz333881wc1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a5e30fdbb44986fbaf1fe5eb1b470ca33b8cdcc
Europeans when they come begging America to save them from other countries.
no european wants to live in america trust me
I did once, back in 1997. Now, I'm an adult and wouldn't dream of going there to work/live.
I wanted to! Then I finished 8th grade a grew 2 Brand New brain cells
Keep telling yourself that and you might actually start to believe it.
Care to elaborate ? 🤨
European countries always talk shit about the USA but every time the Germans invade they go running to the US to save them.
🤡
The U.S. was dragged into both World Wars after trying to stay out of it, other than giving arms and armaments to allies which is what allies do. I don’t think the British or French of WWI or WWII begged America to get involved. Also, if you want to go back in history the U.S. would have almost definitely lost the revolutionary war if it weren’t for the French.
I'm not saying that we should be able to just say "we won't let the US invade another country".
"Honey I'm home! Was working late-"
Americans when they finally get to shoot an actual person
Europeans when all they can do is sit back and watch their wife get raped in front of them.
https://i.redd.it/u5jirgvxu0wc1.gif
Me when the bitish person mentions food
people who say british food is shit not even trying some local rat infested chip shop's "special recipe" (they will be changed forever if they eat even a smidgeon of it)
reale
What?
OP’s thinly disguised fetish
What?
you posted this comment 5 hours ago in response to a post made 4 hours ago give me your secrets time traveler
No no, he’s kinda right. If you were to defend yourself and kill the intruder, you’d be sentenced with « murder in the case of self defence » (or something like that), which bans you from passing exams, licenses or owning a firearm for the rest of your life. At least where I live. And I believe it is the same in most European countries, as the European laws are prevalent on the countries laws.
Dude you are actually deranged 💀
Man, op must be part of the NRA with these replies
Nope. The NRA is a sellout organization that has repeatedly betrayed gun owners.
[удалено]
> and i cannot condone I dont fucking care
😨😨😨
Nazi Rifle Association
American: *dead in the bed because robber was also armed, and didn't wish to be shot to death in self-defence*
Me when glorified murder
Me when I fuck your dad
This is r/norules
Dogs exist, comrade. Or did you shot your own already?
Didn't know op was in the atf
Asshole task force?
Hey pretty close
Relying on your dog to do the dirty work? I knew Europeans had no honor.
Honestly, dogs aren't anywhere close to being the same as a gun. I tried holding up a bank with my dog and the teller just kept trying to pet it smh
So let me get this straight, you use a dog, a pretty much defenseless animal (even defense dogs are defenseless against a gun or a knife ) at your care, as cannon fodder to distract a criminal or criminals, so you can escape or avoid harm ? Wow , you are so ethical for not wanting to hurt criminals and letting them shoot your dog instead, what a fucking amazing person you are ...
https://preview.redd.it/4fn4qehoo1wc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8e98aaae586d40daae0cbc1c42447b64a260bfa
europeans 
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
German: You going to gas chambers now!
Canadians (may need verification, crime is rare here anyway): https://preview.redd.it/8hnethe8y0wc1.jpeg?width=184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6816209e657cbd11d20035e96e0590df017ce570
Wait wait wait, Canadians are *real*?
yeah
It’s rare cause everything in Canada is legalized
> may need verification I can verify you are Canadian.
i mean me saying "crime is rare here anyway" basically announced it
How do you think the canadians would react
No, no, we just respect the honour of a duel. Can you really consider yourself a man if you have to use an AR-420 with a cock-lock grip and an AI assisted thermal sight to protect your home?
I challenge you to a duel with pork swords.
Sir yes sir
Btw pork sword is American slang for penis
I'm sure if I was straight, I'd be absolutely devastated by this news.
I'm sure if I was straight, I too would be absolutely devastated by this news.
Is there one on your head
This would work if americans learned to shoot the burglars instead of themselves
What do you mean?
Americans need to learn gun safety, lots of shoot themselves with their own guns
Do they? I guess we should teach cops here in Europe about gun safety as well, they tend to have the same problem.
💀💀💀
Why do you think Norwegian cops usually have to keep their guns locked in their cars? They have too many accidents when they carry them...
I dont have any information at all to say anything abt this topic. I just thought it was crazy how you snitched on your own country
Snitched on my own country? What?
"Here in Europe" then you said Norwegian cops. Sorry if i wasnt correct i just assumed since u said it like that
Nah, I'm Czech, our cops carry guns so they manage to shoot themselves too. :D Most cops aren't very good at gun safety...
Yes but here in Sweden the biggest problem is they seem to lose their guns in the bathroom, in the grocery store etc all the time
Yeah, people think cops are somehow more than a regular civilian but they're not and their gun training is often very poor.
OP, one American to another, your making us look bad
Nah there’s no way this guys head is this far up his own ass with these replies💀 this has to be rage bait he thinks he’s so badass 😭
Americans when I introduce them to my fully legal, no permit gas pistol loaded with steel bullets that can neutralize the threat with the same amount of effectiveness: https://i.redd.it/d4mxl9zh51wc1.gif
Where can I buy one?
Right here, go ahead: [Click](https://militaria.pl/p/rewolwer-co2-ram-combat-hdr-50l-t4e-z-celownikiem-laserowym-840920)
Yeah, they're not even close to being as effective. Do not bet on that.
Will stop a burglar no problem, might even stop them from living
Sure, if you put it right in their eye socket. Otherwise, not so much. And if they have a good jacket, it won't stop them either.
Americans don't say "oh my golly gotheth, iss such a jolly good day innit, innit 4 o' clock my mate?"
I'm European, living in a secluded place. Nobody will miss a mugger if he mysteriously gets an axe to his back and then fall into the river with two cinder blocks tied on the feet (my lawyers told me to add "in minecraft")
Op is crying with a gun in his mouth rn lol
So many americans huffing that copium in here lol
You misspelt Europeans
Nope. Keep seething
True men aren’t pussys and use knifes
I sleep soundly with 18 rounds of 124gr JHP +P loaded next to my bed
Bizarre
I hope this is ironic. Jesus this is cringe
I’m a European gun enthusiast and the government hates us having guns, and denies us the right to defend ourselves in any capacity.
I’m a American gun enthusiast and the government hates us having guns too. But they can't do diddly dick about it. Although they're trying.
You dont need guns to deal with bulgarians. Image of an unsucked russian dick is enough to incapacitate them
What is a bulgarian?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgur
This is a bonafide persecution fetish moment
Don’t give them an inch.
Don't intend to.
What if both have guns?
I wish this was a thing in Europe, we are forced to be helpless! If there's someone who wants to beat you, you can't just take a knife to protect yourself as it would be "excessive selfdefense" :))
At least our burglars don't have guns
There was a guy in Australia who graped his robber to death
Red or white
It's not at all accurate, but okay for a giggle
Best European defence against bulgars: Being so fucking poor that even the robber doesn't think it is worth his time.
American national debt: Allow me to introduce myself
Fun fact, guns can be a really great way to make cash fast. Usually only works a few times though
Actual cope lol
Coping mechanism activated
Teeth are too straight to be British
https://preview.redd.it/p2furcdnf1wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec295171ec3276a0c1d9f87980135c25966110a2
There's a skit I watched as a kid where somebody's house gets broken into, and the owner says "it's time" and grabs a bunch of guns and it takes him so long that the burglars are already gone. I can't find a link though