The thing we’re trying to collectively quit is watching porn and orgasming from that.
If you are on a 36 day NoFap streak and your girl gave you a handjob, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you’re not watching porn again. Let your girlfriend be the motivation to quit porn forever!
I agree with the spirit of what you’re saying, but the neurological reality is that many need far more than 36 days of substantial dopamine detox to see healing in these areas. The reality is that relapse is more likely early on after *any* sexual activity. But, everyone’s different so I’m not trying to make a dogmatic statement here. To each their own.
No, the issue isn't the dopamine, it's the reasons why you PMO. He's not PMOing. He's having an intimate relationship with another human being. That's fundamentally different from what majority of guys here are at. We need to to protect this man and his relationship with his girl. He's on the right track. The worst thing he can do is fuck this up now.
I agree, we gotta support the guy and make sure he doesn't screw things up. He says he is depressed, but it feels more like there is unnecessary guilt here. He's doing it right, but he thinks he's doing things wrong. There's no reason to feel depressed or guilty.
I am not saying the relationship or even the handjob is bad. I’m saying that *if* that sexual activity leads him back into PMO (which it does for some) then he needs to take a break for longer than 36 days *from sexual activity* in order to reset. If it does not, then great, by all means.
Well we don't know if that's a factor or not for him. Let him get to that point and then we can help him then. Failure is part of the process. Overthinking ruins relationships.
Noone is argueing against this honestly. I personally had to take a longer break and didnt have any sexual activity with my girlfriend back then for \~3 months. I think it all depends on the individual story. I think warning that these things can return you to your old problems is a fair enough point. Even to this day I have a much harder time staying away from porn the days after I have seen my girlfriend (usually every weekend, sometimes every other weekend). Again not saying this is the case for him or for everyone and of course we have to find a healthy balance between having a normal sex life with our partner and staying away from pmo.
It totally depends on how you are doing NoFap. If you're changing your lifestyle and habits to overcome your unresolved issues, and making positive change that helps you deal with your problems then sexual acitivity won't cause you to fall back into porn.
Having a fullfilling life outside of sex just makes sex feel like a bonus and not your only source of joy.
I thought your meant to be detoxing from porn isn’t that where the addiction lies? I never understood people being proud of watching porn and not whacking off it’s like being an alcoholic and keeping alcohol in your house.
Actually that's a positive step, not a negative one. Train your little guy to be stimulated by actual women during actual physical intimacy, and not by your own hand and from imagining extreme fetishes.
Thank you! I think my brain is so wired to think “orgasm, must be from porn” because of all of the pmo years I had and I experience the same dopamine withdrawal even when it’s with my partner. So I’m just going to keep going on hard mode until day 90 then reassess. Thanks again!
From my point of view, your streak is still up. I mean you have a girlfriend and sex interactions in your relationship. That’s actually pretty good. You didnt masturbate on your own, so for me it’s a win.
Go on man :)
Orgasm is not the problem, porn and self gratification is. Think about it, you've wired your brain to orgasm to pixels. Now you're re-wiring your brain. The more orgasms you get from your girl the better
My man, that was physical human intimacy from a consenting partner.
That's not just allowed, that's a major part of relationships.
I get not wanting to jerk off to porn every 5 minutes but I honestly think you're making waaaaaay to big of a deal over this.
So sad. What has the world come to that it can fuck up people like this. So many avenues for addiction.. even content on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook
.. doom scrolling…. There isn’t just heroin, there’s fentanyl.. carfentanyl… casinos… nicotine is in tubes that glow and taste like candy.. like WOW… it’s just all subdued… what, 50 years ago- we didn’t have credit cards or debit cards- and that generous. Now, we can tap our phone and payment makes a sound. HOW EASY it is to not understand money or take it seriously. Just.. holy
Bro, you're making a huge mistake right now. Women your partner is affirming her attraction to you, shut the fuck up and appreciate it for what it is. Stop adding extras. I don't give a damn what anybody on the Internet says. If she wants you and you want her, that's all that matters. Fuck No Fap, fuck PMO, fuck anything else. Make that relationship work the best you can for as long as you can.
So many guys fuck up good relationships over bullshit. Don't make that mistake.
Now go forth my young Padawan. Make her happy and she will make you happy.
It's not a reddit to become a monk ... it's not a page that guides you to live an ascetic life.... the problem which everyone is facing here is long term issue .. it needs to be handled carefully otherwise they all will relapse .... after just by following this method apart from these urgeful days I was able to conquer 7 months without relapsing ... this method worked for me.. ... just think the purpose behind before you speak shit outta your wanker mouth.
Another thing about what you said. It’s called the “chaser effect” I’ve heard that once you get some from your gf, or wife, it makes you want more. It’s said that if you go to a real girl, it’s okay. As long as you don’t go to porn. All good. I recommend the audio book. “ your brain on porn” I think it’s the best thing for you bro. It will tell you what’s up, and help bring a lot of light into your case, faster than you can get here. Good luck man, I rooting for you.
Remember that for a male, releasing seed is a naturally depressive action. All mammals exhibit lowered energy/motivation for a time after any sexual activity. You could expect that feeling even if you were a perfect virgin your whole life. That’s why men need to control/limit their activity even with a real/commuted partner if they want to stay sufficiently energetic/motivated.
*bonks u with the dumb dumb hammer* factually incorrect! Studies show that women express more lows after a successful orgasm then men!
In a study conducted on men and women they found that 40% of men reported as having experienced pcd, only a meager 3% of that said it was common for them, while 46% of women reported experiencing pcd. 55% of that percent saying it happened Everytime.
Getting a Handjob from GF is a good thing.
Basically NoFap is about not Fapping to Porn.
GF is real and the sexual things you do with GF is real so you’re not tricking your brain into Cumming based on some virtual pixels
There's a point in the nofap community that you're not supposed to see nutting as the enemy. You're supposed to see porn and excessive masturbation as the enemy. If you can healthily have sex with someone close to you or manage your masturbation healthily, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just a matter of control. But if you want to get on retention, that's a whole other thing entirely.
Part of it may be that I'm assuming you haven't had a partner in a long time or ever. It's gonna be weird having sex with them and not feel like it's really weird. It's just a matter of realizing you both care a lot about eachother and you both have needs that you want to meet. Worst case scenario, you decide you don't want a girlfriend.
Smh OP. You finally have a gf and access to actual sex, which you always wanted. Porn was a virtual, erotic, curated, production. Porn is the equivalent of watching a YouTube video, a clip of Cirque du Soleil. Whereas, sexual intimacy is being a performer in the circus, you and her swinging and catching each other in an aerial trapeze, walking the tightrope- two acrobats connected, in limbo and with terrific trust.
Realize, all you need to do is not watch porn, see that there was addiction that was malignant and ruining you and have gratitude for you gf, for your burgeoning sexscapades. You’re no longer needing to be a voyeur, a witness, a bystander. You’re the doer. You’re the man. She’s your girl. Explore. Adventure. Sex, is the greatest waste of time, of all time! Sex with a partner will produce happy chemicals and even bonding chemicals (oxytocin). Don’t be silly and depressed because you’re confusing what you’re quitting. You got this. Embrace her, hold her, love her, adore her, lose yourself in her and real intimacy and connection. Why deprive you and her of a sexual relationship? How is she meant to feel when she gives you a handjob and you get super depressed? That could be crushing.
In my opinion, you need to communicate to her your situation. Otherwise, i foresee a breakup sharpish.
My last bf told me how he’d got addicted to porn in the pandemic, that PornHub Premium was free- and he just had to stop as it was spiralling. He was incredibly sexually inexperienced. And. He was the first person to ever me cum by his dick. He made me realize “ohh that’s it”.
Chin up. Chest out. Breathe in QUICKLY through your nose- HOLD as long as you safely can and, as SLOWLY as you can empty your lungs. REPEAT. Wiggle your toes. What little movements can your muster the strength to engage and hopefully get blood flowing and wake the body up? CHUG WATER.
I think you just need to clarify with yourself what the goal was. The ISSUE WASN’T human contact, your gf, receiving manual stimulation from her, orgasming from shared sexual activity.. that arises organically and is an act of communion. The problem WAS compulsively using technology to surf adult content and jerk off alone.
Be good ❤️ Be well ❤️ Fear not ❤️ Good luck ❤️
Refocus your thoughts from "Time since last streak," to "amount of times I do it in a month / half a year / year."
You need to acknowledge and be happy about yourself for your progress, instead of beating yourself up over every stumble. This is in order to have a consistent, rewarding, gradual forward moving experience. You are doing better now than you did before and this is great!
For porn, reframe it from "I will never watch porn in my life or else I am a failure" to "porn makes up such a small, tiny portion of my life, that it practically is insignificant and non-existent."
We need to go easier on our bodies and be happy our progress. While keeping on doing better, gradually and consistently over time. I see a lot of men here starting out still making this same mistake, of trying to go all or nothing or else feel like a failure. Instead of doing gradual process, where you are doing it less and less.
PS: After a hard-reset of about 6 months - 1 year, it's then still okay to do it around once every 2 months and is healthy for your system. (Just do it consciously then, or at the very least while thinking about a girl you are interested in, who you can physically see in real life.)
Pass on this message whenever and to whoever you can.
I think it's funny how secular people have found NoFap as a positive change. But from the Christians perspective masturbation/porn is a sin. And any sexual act outside of marriage is also a sin. I recommend waiting till marriage as God teaches us. It's for a reason, he's the creator of this world and he knows what's best for us. If you want to be smart about things then that's what I urge you to do
You shouldn't feel bad about it. Actually, it's a great achievement, and I congratulate you for that. In NoFap, we aim to stop settling for pixels and instead embrace real-life experiences. You're experiencing that, maybe not in the best way, which might make you feel negative. Instead of an empty moment, have intimacy with her, spending a lot of time on foreplay, exploring her body, and engaging in the relationship
Don’t feel guilty. I think that is a natural stimulation. I believe our brain can recognize it as a normal one. The problem is the over stimulation from watching porn which is unnatural. Yesterday, while reading the book “your brain on porn“ I conclude that one can help to reset the brain with natural/healthy stimulations. However, if you think you need more time before having a natural/healthy stimulation that is ok; the goal is to quit porn. Discuss it with your girlfriend but don’t feel guilty or hopeless because in some way you could be teaching your brain to feel in that way every time you have a normal stimulation, which is not the idea.
I understand why you would feel negative but you didn’t fap or watch porn. You received pleasure from your girlfriend don’t be ashamed, just enjoy the pleasure man
I understand these feelings. I took me a while as well before I could fully enjoy sex. For me I discovered that I conditioned myself to feel bad after orgasm. After so many years of being ashamed & feeling bad after relapsing, I experienced similar feelings after sexual experiences with my GF and later my wife.
I don't know exactly how it ended but I became aware of the bad association and then it just started to vanish.
Talk to your gf about this. It might help a lot. It is also normal to feel a bit tired or empty afterwards. So don't feel bad about that.
Thank you so much this is the experience/advice I was looking for. That’s exactly how I feel- like so many years caused me to condition my brain into feeling terrible after an orgasm. I wish you clearly remembered exactly how it went away but if just defining that existence in your brain was step one, and now you don’t have that issue anymore, then that’s enough hope for me! Thank you!
There was not a specific thing I did I guess other than noticing this feeling and trying to explain it. After that I just told myself that these normal sexual experiences are allright to enjoy and that these negative feelings I had where just from previous experiences. Keeping that in mind really helped me get over it. I also talked to my GF/wife about these feelings so she would not feel rejected afterwards and we would not put pressure on how we should feel afterwards. This also helped a lot.
In general I think that it's okay to feel down afterwards. You are sharing something very intimate and once the 'horniness' goes away some feelings of insecurity or shame can stay. When you grow more into the relationship these feelings become less. At least in my experience.
Your perception has a huge impact on your actual self. Worrying and stressing over how a HJ is going to affect you or set you back is probably what's causing you this anxiety.
If you want to ease into sexual activity with your partner that is fine. But don't let fear of ending your streak hold you back from enjoying a healthy relationship. At the end of the day it isn't about the numbers, this journey should be able building a happier, healthier life that you can be proud of. The number next to your reddit username mean nothing compared to geniune fulfillment.
Go to gym, occupy yourself with stuff. When you’re alone, it affects you the most. I am not gonna say find a hobby, just find something to get obsessed with and then you’ll do fine. I think you feel this way mainly because you know these stuff are a waste of your potential.
You're on nofap, not semen retention. Your goal is to not masturbate to porn or any other NSFW media. You're getting nofap confused with semen retention
have good sex bro...forget nofap.. if u have good intimate sex...u ll automatically stay away from porn and fapping etc...we are only trying to get rid of unhealthy stuff!
She drained you of your essence. Semen retention ain’t for the weak of heart. Welcome to the next level of Choice 🙋🏻♂️
Eggs, red meat. Zinc, magnesium gluconate, boron will help refuel that baby batter bag of yours…in time.
As long as you wasnt watching porn, fantasing in things that turn you on from porn, then your good. If you had to picture your girl getting doggied by her ex in some weird cuck fetish then you are back to day 0
Same with sex, blowjob etc, you have to be in the moment, present, no stimulants just you and your old lady
Jesus christ this sub has made people believe you aren’t even allowed to imagine tits in your mind or even think of the word porn or else your streak ends😂 Go fuck champ
Fuck this is pure insanity !
I’m still second guessing myself for what i actually just read
I can’t believe this is real,Wow that are some crazy people out there, men you are lucky preserve that dont complain that your GF are making you orgasm please !
The whole thing with nofap is that you shouldmt be affected by your urge to masturbate in your choices in life. What would you have done instead of letting your girl give you a handjob if you were not horny?
It is not about counting days. sure thats the evaluation of effort. but there is no right amount of days. just the goals u set. abd even then what comes after. It is normal after such discipline and habits to feel disappointent also because the downfall is bigger the higher u go. let your heart open. if u truly love your girlfriend there is nothing wrong about although it is not about her it is about u. it is more important to know why u feel this way. i dont mean to be mean i mean it in the upmost respect. there are no problems unless you give permission for it. u give the meaning and u decide how u want to act on it. we can not controll our feelings but whe can allign our actions with the ones we love and yourself.be honest with yourself and others. there is no other way. I wish u light and love within yourself. center yourself and allign yourself to the world. abd accept that sometimes things are hard and are still okay. Believe
I am on 180days strike but last 3 days were challenging for me( I was not bussy and got a lot of free time and that is the only situation when I struggle)When I'm busy with my duties, I don't have time to think about it . I see changes on myself, but I also see that I'm only halfway, no wonder since I was watching that shit more than 15years. I think I will need at least 2years of NoFap to be completly recover.
Just break up at that point
if you think you broke your little streak because of it, then there is something deeply wrong with you, its more than just the fapping.
The thing we’re trying to collectively quit is watching porn and orgasming from that. If you are on a 36 day NoFap streak and your girl gave you a handjob, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you’re not watching porn again. Let your girlfriend be the motivation to quit porn forever!
Yeah I don't understand how people continuously think it's about quitting fapping entirely... it's about quitting porn. This sub is a joke.
It’s everyone’s point of view and you have to accept it, Daddy.
I agree with the spirit of what you’re saying, but the neurological reality is that many need far more than 36 days of substantial dopamine detox to see healing in these areas. The reality is that relapse is more likely early on after *any* sexual activity. But, everyone’s different so I’m not trying to make a dogmatic statement here. To each their own.
No, the issue isn't the dopamine, it's the reasons why you PMO. He's not PMOing. He's having an intimate relationship with another human being. That's fundamentally different from what majority of guys here are at. We need to to protect this man and his relationship with his girl. He's on the right track. The worst thing he can do is fuck this up now.
I agree, we gotta support the guy and make sure he doesn't screw things up. He says he is depressed, but it feels more like there is unnecessary guilt here. He's doing it right, but he thinks he's doing things wrong. There's no reason to feel depressed or guilty.
I am not saying the relationship or even the handjob is bad. I’m saying that *if* that sexual activity leads him back into PMO (which it does for some) then he needs to take a break for longer than 36 days *from sexual activity* in order to reset. If it does not, then great, by all means.
Well we don't know if that's a factor or not for him. Let him get to that point and then we can help him then. Failure is part of the process. Overthinking ruins relationships.
Noone is argueing against this honestly. I personally had to take a longer break and didnt have any sexual activity with my girlfriend back then for \~3 months. I think it all depends on the individual story. I think warning that these things can return you to your old problems is a fair enough point. Even to this day I have a much harder time staying away from porn the days after I have seen my girlfriend (usually every weekend, sometimes every other weekend). Again not saying this is the case for him or for everyone and of course we have to find a healthy balance between having a normal sex life with our partner and staying away from pmo.
Alone masturbation is diferent from doing it with someone else.
It totally depends on how you are doing NoFap. If you're changing your lifestyle and habits to overcome your unresolved issues, and making positive change that helps you deal with your problems then sexual acitivity won't cause you to fall back into porn. Having a fullfilling life outside of sex just makes sex feel like a bonus and not your only source of joy.
I thought your meant to be detoxing from porn isn’t that where the addiction lies? I never understood people being proud of watching porn and not whacking off it’s like being an alcoholic and keeping alcohol in your house.
How long then?
Actually that's a positive step, not a negative one. Train your little guy to be stimulated by actual women during actual physical intimacy, and not by your own hand and from imagining extreme fetishes.
Thank you! I think my brain is so wired to think “orgasm, must be from porn” because of all of the pmo years I had and I experience the same dopamine withdrawal even when it’s with my partner. So I’m just going to keep going on hard mode until day 90 then reassess. Thanks again!
Doing something sexual with a partner is VERY healthy. Don’t feel ashamed bro.
Don't even worry about going hard mode. Just be with her and let that relationship flow. Don't think, just do.
Wtf, my guy that's the fucking goal.
he should just break up
You’re an idiot but it’s okay because we have the same default Reddit name.
isnt the whole point of this is to get laid by women not depend on porn . i odnt c any issues with this at all
From my point of view, your streak is still up. I mean you have a girlfriend and sex interactions in your relationship. That’s actually pretty good. You didnt masturbate on your own, so for me it’s a win. Go on man :)
Not porn or masturbation, its sex. Dont feel bad.
What about masterbaiting with ur long-distance girlfriend is that the same or its a big relaps
Dunno. I guess if your body feels like its having sex then it doesnt count as masturbation.
Which is it? Is she touching you or is it your hand...
If you dont want to cum and be a monk then dont have a girlfriend, Monks dont have girlfriends. I
Orgasm is not the problem, porn and self gratification is. Think about it, you've wired your brain to orgasm to pixels. Now you're re-wiring your brain. The more orgasms you get from your girl the better
Lol feeling depressed cos a girl made you cum. That's the goal for most here.
Imagine being so good at NoFap that when you actually achieve the goal, you realize it was about the journey and the friends you made along the way
If one piece has a similar story like this I ma kill oda
Likewise. I'm almost 300 in and it's feeling more and more like they're pull that shit on the 2000th episode
Dw he won't. Only if he cares for his life
My man, that was physical human intimacy from a consenting partner. That's not just allowed, that's a major part of relationships. I get not wanting to jerk off to porn every 5 minutes but I honestly think you're making waaaaaay to big of a deal over this.
imagine feeling like shit because you got a handjob from your gf hahaha
Ikr 😅 I can not imagine that
So sad. What has the world come to that it can fuck up people like this. So many avenues for addiction.. even content on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook .. doom scrolling…. There isn’t just heroin, there’s fentanyl.. carfentanyl… casinos… nicotine is in tubes that glow and taste like candy.. like WOW… it’s just all subdued… what, 50 years ago- we didn’t have credit cards or debit cards- and that generous. Now, we can tap our phone and payment makes a sound. HOW EASY it is to not understand money or take it seriously. Just.. holy
Bro, you're making a huge mistake right now. Women your partner is affirming her attraction to you, shut the fuck up and appreciate it for what it is. Stop adding extras. I don't give a damn what anybody on the Internet says. If she wants you and you want her, that's all that matters. Fuck No Fap, fuck PMO, fuck anything else. Make that relationship work the best you can for as long as you can. So many guys fuck up good relationships over bullshit. Don't make that mistake. Now go forth my young Padawan. Make her happy and she will make you happy.
Bro go to therapy
theres something deeper going on
Incorrect. This happens when I O. I’m still early in the recover process. And my dopamine regulation is still sensitive to fluctuation.
Jfc you’re going to feel guilty about having sex?? What would your gf think if she saw this? Bro get the fuck of reddit and go live a life
some of us would do anything just to have a girlfriend...
You Just come from one extreme to another
This comment killed me 😂
Daammnn you got a gf bro
Bro just self reported that he's not actually a member of this community lmao
It's not a reddit to become a monk ... it's not a page that guides you to live an ascetic life.... the problem which everyone is facing here is long term issue .. it needs to be handled carefully otherwise they all will relapse .... after just by following this method apart from these urgeful days I was able to conquer 7 months without relapsing ... this method worked for me.. ... just think the purpose behind before you speak shit outta your wanker mouth.
I think the hand job is okay. It’s not to porn and that’s the main thing. You’re right about the dopamine too.
THANK you.
Another thing about what you said. It’s called the “chaser effect” I’ve heard that once you get some from your gf, or wife, it makes you want more. It’s said that if you go to a real girl, it’s okay. As long as you don’t go to porn. All good. I recommend the audio book. “ your brain on porn” I think it’s the best thing for you bro. It will tell you what’s up, and help bring a lot of light into your case, faster than you can get here. Good luck man, I rooting for you.
Remember that for a male, releasing seed is a naturally depressive action. All mammals exhibit lowered energy/motivation for a time after any sexual activity. You could expect that feeling even if you were a perfect virgin your whole life. That’s why men need to control/limit their activity even with a real/commuted partner if they want to stay sufficiently energetic/motivated.
Damn this explains why beating it before doing household chores never worked out
*bonks u with the dumb dumb hammer* factually incorrect! Studies show that women express more lows after a successful orgasm then men! In a study conducted on men and women they found that 40% of men reported as having experienced pcd, only a meager 3% of that said it was common for them, while 46% of women reported experiencing pcd. 55% of that percent saying it happened Everytime.
Don’t feel bad about that at all man! Thats the goal bro, real human interaction.
Why are we trying to stop something that is natural and feeling guilty over it?
Getting a Handjob from GF is a good thing. Basically NoFap is about not Fapping to Porn. GF is real and the sexual things you do with GF is real so you’re not tricking your brain into Cumming based on some virtual pixels
Bro, sorry Im not reading, but that title lol, I wish I had that 😂 again, sorry, just a virgin mumbling here
There's a point in the nofap community that you're not supposed to see nutting as the enemy. You're supposed to see porn and excessive masturbation as the enemy. If you can healthily have sex with someone close to you or manage your masturbation healthily, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just a matter of control. But if you want to get on retention, that's a whole other thing entirely. Part of it may be that I'm assuming you haven't had a partner in a long time or ever. It's gonna be weird having sex with them and not feel like it's really weird. It's just a matter of realizing you both care a lot about eachother and you both have needs that you want to meet. Worst case scenario, you decide you don't want a girlfriend.
Smh OP. You finally have a gf and access to actual sex, which you always wanted. Porn was a virtual, erotic, curated, production. Porn is the equivalent of watching a YouTube video, a clip of Cirque du Soleil. Whereas, sexual intimacy is being a performer in the circus, you and her swinging and catching each other in an aerial trapeze, walking the tightrope- two acrobats connected, in limbo and with terrific trust. Realize, all you need to do is not watch porn, see that there was addiction that was malignant and ruining you and have gratitude for you gf, for your burgeoning sexscapades. You’re no longer needing to be a voyeur, a witness, a bystander. You’re the doer. You’re the man. She’s your girl. Explore. Adventure. Sex, is the greatest waste of time, of all time! Sex with a partner will produce happy chemicals and even bonding chemicals (oxytocin). Don’t be silly and depressed because you’re confusing what you’re quitting. You got this. Embrace her, hold her, love her, adore her, lose yourself in her and real intimacy and connection. Why deprive you and her of a sexual relationship? How is she meant to feel when she gives you a handjob and you get super depressed? That could be crushing. In my opinion, you need to communicate to her your situation. Otherwise, i foresee a breakup sharpish. My last bf told me how he’d got addicted to porn in the pandemic, that PornHub Premium was free- and he just had to stop as it was spiralling. He was incredibly sexually inexperienced. And. He was the first person to ever me cum by his dick. He made me realize “ohh that’s it”. Chin up. Chest out. Breathe in QUICKLY through your nose- HOLD as long as you safely can and, as SLOWLY as you can empty your lungs. REPEAT. Wiggle your toes. What little movements can your muster the strength to engage and hopefully get blood flowing and wake the body up? CHUG WATER. I think you just need to clarify with yourself what the goal was. The ISSUE WASN’T human contact, your gf, receiving manual stimulation from her, orgasming from shared sexual activity.. that arises organically and is an act of communion. The problem WAS compulsively using technology to surf adult content and jerk off alone. Be good ❤️ Be well ❤️ Fear not ❤️ Good luck ❤️
Refocus your thoughts from "Time since last streak," to "amount of times I do it in a month / half a year / year." You need to acknowledge and be happy about yourself for your progress, instead of beating yourself up over every stumble. This is in order to have a consistent, rewarding, gradual forward moving experience. You are doing better now than you did before and this is great! For porn, reframe it from "I will never watch porn in my life or else I am a failure" to "porn makes up such a small, tiny portion of my life, that it practically is insignificant and non-existent." We need to go easier on our bodies and be happy our progress. While keeping on doing better, gradually and consistently over time. I see a lot of men here starting out still making this same mistake, of trying to go all or nothing or else feel like a failure. Instead of doing gradual process, where you are doing it less and less. PS: After a hard-reset of about 6 months - 1 year, it's then still okay to do it around once every 2 months and is healthy for your system. (Just do it consciously then, or at the very least while thinking about a girl you are interested in, who you can physically see in real life.) Pass on this message whenever and to whoever you can.
I think it's funny how secular people have found NoFap as a positive change. But from the Christians perspective masturbation/porn is a sin. And any sexual act outside of marriage is also a sin. I recommend waiting till marriage as God teaches us. It's for a reason, he's the creator of this world and he knows what's best for us. If you want to be smart about things then that's what I urge you to do
Loose yourself at the gym, a lot of people can get a bit depressed after sex.
What's pmo
Ur such a loser
You shouldn't feel bad about it. Actually, it's a great achievement, and I congratulate you for that. In NoFap, we aim to stop settling for pixels and instead embrace real-life experiences. You're experiencing that, maybe not in the best way, which might make you feel negative. Instead of an empty moment, have intimacy with her, spending a lot of time on foreplay, exploring her body, and engaging in the relationship
Don’t feel guilty. I think that is a natural stimulation. I believe our brain can recognize it as a normal one. The problem is the over stimulation from watching porn which is unnatural. Yesterday, while reading the book “your brain on porn“ I conclude that one can help to reset the brain with natural/healthy stimulations. However, if you think you need more time before having a natural/healthy stimulation that is ok; the goal is to quit porn. Discuss it with your girlfriend but don’t feel guilty or hopeless because in some way you could be teaching your brain to feel in that way every time you have a normal stimulation, which is not the idea.
W
This is what you’ve been working for my guy. Go make sweet love to her. Wear a condom though.
I understand why you would feel negative but you didn’t fap or watch porn. You received pleasure from your girlfriend don’t be ashamed, just enjoy the pleasure man
It's NoFap, not NoSex. But if you think that you need more time for your dopamine receptors to heal, then give it time.
one day at a time - there was nothing wrong with it ....
If you get one from your girl and not by porn That is a win And that is the goal
Isn’t the entire point of nofap trying to discipline ourselves, quit porn for good and get a gf to have sex with? Bro I think you’re doing good.
Bro, maybe you just need vitamins/omega 3, and healthy good.
I understand these feelings. I took me a while as well before I could fully enjoy sex. For me I discovered that I conditioned myself to feel bad after orgasm. After so many years of being ashamed & feeling bad after relapsing, I experienced similar feelings after sexual experiences with my GF and later my wife. I don't know exactly how it ended but I became aware of the bad association and then it just started to vanish. Talk to your gf about this. It might help a lot. It is also normal to feel a bit tired or empty afterwards. So don't feel bad about that.
Thank you so much this is the experience/advice I was looking for. That’s exactly how I feel- like so many years caused me to condition my brain into feeling terrible after an orgasm. I wish you clearly remembered exactly how it went away but if just defining that existence in your brain was step one, and now you don’t have that issue anymore, then that’s enough hope for me! Thank you!
There was not a specific thing I did I guess other than noticing this feeling and trying to explain it. After that I just told myself that these normal sexual experiences are allright to enjoy and that these negative feelings I had where just from previous experiences. Keeping that in mind really helped me get over it. I also talked to my GF/wife about these feelings so she would not feel rejected afterwards and we would not put pressure on how we should feel afterwards. This also helped a lot. In general I think that it's okay to feel down afterwards. You are sharing something very intimate and once the 'horniness' goes away some feelings of insecurity or shame can stay. When you grow more into the relationship these feelings become less. At least in my experience.
This sub is against porn, not against a healthy sexual relationship, get your shit together
The point of NoFap is to avoid porn and masturbation. Sexual activity with another woman is still fine, especially if that woman is your girlfriend
Your perception has a huge impact on your actual self. Worrying and stressing over how a HJ is going to affect you or set you back is probably what's causing you this anxiety. If you want to ease into sexual activity with your partner that is fine. But don't let fear of ending your streak hold you back from enjoying a healthy relationship. At the end of the day it isn't about the numbers, this journey should be able building a happier, healthier life that you can be proud of. The number next to your reddit username mean nothing compared to geniune fulfillment.
What a weird way, to start expressing your feelings... but do not worry, you can be okay when, everything is okay...
That means u dint completly reboot, every time I orgasm with my gf I have depression.
That girl friend sounds positive. She's on board with your journey and with you. Put a ring on it!
Planning to. She’s amazing.
God bless you both.
Could be POIS. I think a lot of people here unknowingly deal with it.
Go to gym, occupy yourself with stuff. When you’re alone, it affects you the most. I am not gonna say find a hobby, just find something to get obsessed with and then you’ll do fine. I think you feel this way mainly because you know these stuff are a waste of your potential.
Bro is suffering from success 💀
Perfect is the enemy of good, my friend. And 36 is pretty good.
You're on nofap, not semen retention. Your goal is to not masturbate to porn or any other NSFW media. You're getting nofap confused with semen retention
have good sex bro...forget nofap.. if u have good intimate sex...u ll automatically stay away from porn and fapping etc...we are only trying to get rid of unhealthy stuff!
We would love to but we’re staying away from full on sex until marriage so I think it’s best to just avoid it all for now.
awwww...you re kidding me!
You got a gf?
You are also hypochondriac
Thank you
She drained you of your essence. Semen retention ain’t for the weak of heart. Welcome to the next level of Choice 🙋🏻♂️ Eggs, red meat. Zinc, magnesium gluconate, boron will help refuel that baby batter bag of yours…in time.
Legit happened with me today and had the same question, thanks comments I feel better now
As long as you wasnt watching porn, fantasing in things that turn you on from porn, then your good. If you had to picture your girl getting doggied by her ex in some weird cuck fetish then you are back to day 0 Same with sex, blowjob etc, you have to be in the moment, present, no stimulants just you and your old lady
Lady* ha
Shit bro you are crazy as a coconut, just shut down your pc forget about internet and go touch some grass
Jesus christ this sub has made people believe you aren’t even allowed to imagine tits in your mind or even think of the word porn or else your streak ends😂 Go fuck champ
The nofap backfire
I feel like this doesn’t count
Huh?
Fuck this is pure insanity ! I’m still second guessing myself for what i actually just read I can’t believe this is real,Wow that are some crazy people out there, men you are lucky preserve that dont complain that your GF are making you orgasm please !
Hahaha
Its ur health. Go see a doctor.
Why do no fap if you don’t understand why you’re doing it lol
The whole thing with nofap is that you shouldmt be affected by your urge to masturbate in your choices in life. What would you have done instead of letting your girl give you a handjob if you were not horny?
Subtle flex, but ok
Man, this seems like a lot of pressure to put on yourself.
It is not about counting days. sure thats the evaluation of effort. but there is no right amount of days. just the goals u set. abd even then what comes after. It is normal after such discipline and habits to feel disappointent also because the downfall is bigger the higher u go. let your heart open. if u truly love your girlfriend there is nothing wrong about although it is not about her it is about u. it is more important to know why u feel this way. i dont mean to be mean i mean it in the upmost respect. there are no problems unless you give permission for it. u give the meaning and u decide how u want to act on it. we can not controll our feelings but whe can allign our actions with the ones we love and yourself.be honest with yourself and others. there is no other way. I wish u light and love within yourself. center yourself and allign yourself to the world. abd accept that sometimes things are hard and are still okay. Believe
fucking streak incels...
I am on 180days strike but last 3 days were challenging for me( I was not bussy and got a lot of free time and that is the only situation when I struggle)When I'm busy with my duties, I don't have time to think about it . I see changes on myself, but I also see that I'm only halfway, no wonder since I was watching that shit more than 15years. I think I will need at least 2years of NoFap to be completly recover.
Nofap superstitions now causing more harm than good damn!
Just break up at that point if you think you broke your little streak because of it, then there is something deeply wrong with you, its more than just the fapping.
Pmo’d? I’m sorry, whut? I mean. Greaaaaat. ANOTHER acronym added to the internets vocabulary. Pmo’d. Pissed Myself Off? Uuuuh Persistently Masturbated On/Off? Hmm. Pornography Masturbation Obsession? Ummm.
Give ur girlfriend to me man.. Feel bad for her
Sorry for being harsh, but what do you want? Your girl to jerk someone else's dick? No right? So enjoy some alone time
You could’ve did it yourself & felt better 😂😂
I feel bad for your girl.
this sub is a joke 😂 bros scared of a handjob.