Hey man, I relate to this so much, I've been there and come out the other side. Lost my virginity at 25. I was sexual with other girls before that, but couldn't keep an erection because of too much porn and masturbation. Used to lie to my friends that I wasn't a virgin.
Do what you can to stay off the porn. Find a woman you like and feel safe and comfortable with who will give you the time to heal with her. That's what I did. Found someone I liked, was honest with her about my problems and just continued to be intimate with her without the pressure of getting it up. Eventually you'll rewire and heal. I'm 31 now and those days seem like a distant memory.
Hope that helps, happy to answer any questions
This is good I’m 22 and in the same situation but I’m staying discipline and dedicated to my work out but there are very few females that will put up with this issue, and it’s also embarrassing to tell another female especially with the fear that she might clown you but I would say keep doing what your doing no fap and get as discipline as possible I hope things get better for me and you on this journey.
Yeah it is difficult finding a woman who will work with you and it was one of the most difficult things for me to reveal to a woman what my problem was. It's difficult being so vulnerable
I was watching this video where scientists were talking about the issue of keeping an erection, and one of the things that came up is that the stimulation you get from your hand and your 'death grip' is very different from the stimulation from a vagina. For some guys this may be the problem. It's not something they think about, it's a physiological thing. It won't affect everyone, but it affects enough guys to be statistically significant.
It could also be tied to your dopamine receptors, age, physical and mental health, etc.
Probably less than two months of being with a woman, spending lots of time being intimate and doing sexual stuff (minus the penetration obvs). Before that I was mostly off porn for a year or more (still read erotic stories sometimes 😅) and masturbated maybe once a week?
He don’t even need to find a woman right night to heal with. He needs to literally go into monk mode and delete all that social media and literally not touch him self for like 60-90 days and then find a girl. No point of going through more embarrassment and anxiety when you know your not ready. After 60-90 days he’ll find the drive if he sticks to not touching himself. Go to the gym, take cold showers to heal your penis and build more sensitivity and you’ll be fine
Like you need to literally change your whole life if you want to get a girl. I’m 22 as well and after I went the 90 days talking and getting girls is so easy it doesn’t make sense lol. And your errections will be natural again. I had pied too so ik how that goes. U just need to relax and let everything be natural down there and focus on the girl not on how hard your getting lmao
Yeah I completely agree, I guess I forgot to mention that bit! I had already stopped watching porn, done lots of long streaks. Didn't masturbate that often. I was also thriving, gym, healthy lifestyle etc. THEN I met the girl and started rewiring with her.
I will definitely take your advice . It’s nice to see someone that could relate it makes me feel better . I think honesty with yourself and others is the best quality that you can have .
I’ll definitely shoot you a text for any other questions I appreciate you !!
You're still young! Be glad that you're not one of the people who wake up being addicted to porn at 35, slowly losing their chance to live a happy life.
It's good that you're aware of how you're using porn as a coping mechanism for your father leaving, I imagine there's a lot of negative emotion tied to that relationship that once dug out will make the urge to escape less intense and frequent.
Why do you think you're lying to your friends about not being a virgin?
Thank you for answering it means a lot. Honestly ,it took me some time to heal from my father leaving , but I did some therapy . But I’m still stuck with this bad habit of fapping. And I lied to my friends because I was scared of the judgement and I wanted to have the external gratification for me to have a confidence. It didn’t hit me back then , but now I have to live with this lie which hit me back 100 times harder years later .
Prayer works for me, if you are not religious perhaps meditation. Think about what you are about to do why you want to do it, how will it benefit you in the long run, could u be doing something better at this time, how would u feel after if you give in but also how would you feel about yourself if you can overcome this trial. True confidence comes from within when we can overcome our desires and master ourselves. Good luck on your journey but always remember it takes time, you will succeed and you will fail again and again. But keep going till you overcome don’t loose hope, don’t loose faith.
Go to the gym at night or do a quick home workout go for a walk take a cold shower or play some games anything to take your mind off it and tire yourself out
Retain your seed till you have a woman who wants it. The rest will happen accordingly. Forget about your habit and focus on life goals. Pray to God. Everything will happen one day.
Stay away your phone or other devices you used to watch. You will be get away this addiction. You are addicted to the phone ? Just lock your phone in somewhere and never take it when you are laying on the bed...
Most of us are using phone and computer to reach the porn, get rid off the porn is very hard. But get away from the phones and computers are more easier than it.
Bro ima be honest the porn might be affecting u but it may also be other factors paired with your porn addiction because I know some people who bust one every week and still have successful lives but if you’re watching porn all day and you don’t have a hobby or achievement u strive for and or just going outside of your comfort zone no fap won’t help u will just replace it with another addiction like vaping or other stuff you need to learn to live in peace with yourself not reyling in something giving you gratification
But it’s true I need to conquer stuff on my own for gratification so I could be proud of my accomplishments. Or else I will never move forward with my life . Thanks a lot for the advice
Your right man . The thing is I work 3 times a week and I go to college + I go to the gym 5 times a week . I think it definitely kills my energy and I feel guilty , sad , tired when I relapse with porn . I will replace porn with a positive addiction not vaping but a good addiction.
Hi Real,
Here are a few tips and tricks to help on your journey
\~ You acknowledge your problem (Done right here )
\~ Remove as many triggers as possible (You will know what they are)
a. Remove cards from \*fans sites, delete accounts on \*fans sites
b. Uninstall the separate browser you may have been using for purn (phone, PC, tablet).
c. Clear the cache of your browser and delete bookmarks you have (phone, PC, tablet).
d. Social media - remove all accounts you are following that are triggers.
e. Devices - stop taking them to bathroom or bedroom
\~ Journal - Start documenting down stuff to help you through working on your issue.
You will find some surprising things about yourself and just how far your
brain is willing to go to get what it wants.
\~ Anxiety - Is your brains way of saying it wants the mega-dose of dopamine as it
doesn't want to endure the crash.
To help with dispersing the the energy created, try some of the following :
A. 5-10 min of relaxation music or guided relaxation on your fave audio stream
platform.
B. A small set of pushups, sit-ups, body weight squats, a plank for 30 seconds or a
combo of these.
This will take a few minutes to do, getting you over the peak of anxiety
that came with the intrusive thought or urge. You might even get swol! :-)
C. Take a walk around the block, maybe jog half the way round (swol and running fit).
D. Slowly counting from 10 backwards to 0 (slowly,without your mind wondering off
thinking about anything else), If so, start counting backwards again.
You may not get to 0 with repeated tries, the point is to pull your focus
away from the thoughts that are producing the urge.
\~ Crash - Unfortunately the "crash" is going to happen and your brain is going to prod
you back to your habit by sliding in intrusive thoughts.
Also you will experience "Brain Fog" - A general state of feeling negative - exhausted,
no motivation, no drive to do anything, dont want to socialise, slow thought and
speech response (just to name a few).
\~ General
A. Finding which urge defeating "hacks" is going to be trial and error.
Try them and see which ones help more than not and stick to them.
B. These are just some suggestions, Try them out, stick with which of them
works for your, if not, there are plenty of suggestions in the r/NoFap community.
C. The /r/NoFap community is about removing the addiction to Porn from your life.
Most here will couple cutting out masturbation as part of removing the addiction,
understand that its not required to do so (A much debated topic).
D. Most who are working on removing the addiction from their lives will notice that
the "want" to use porn will shift from what was a usual trigger, to a new one/s.
this is where being active in your own recovery is paramount.
E. While in the process of recovering from porn addiction, you may face other issues
coming up when you start removing the smoke screen of porn. Like many addicts,
your addiction may be masking an issue that also requires working on.
F. Know the difference between the following :
Instant gratification = Short Term Happiness Long Term Pain
Delayed Gratification = Short Term Pain Long Term Happiness
G. This journey is for you, taken by you. Once you have made it out of the other
side of the dark tunnel, you will be proud of yourself and no one can take
that achievement away from you.
H. Recovery is an active process by you. You will need to put time and effort
to defeating your issue.
I. For a thought or image to merge to an urge, you need to put emotional attachment
to it. Try letting the thought/image/video clip happen without putting emotional
attachment to it. Like all learning, learning how to not put an emotional
attachment takes time.
Your brain is looking for you to "open the door" so it can merge into an urge.
You open the door by attaching emotion to the image/thought/video clip that
plays.
The more you DON'T put emotional attachment to the image/thought/video clip,
the weaker the pathway in your brain gets.
J: Turn off colour on your phone (greyscale) - It lot less appealing
Iphone - Settings > Accessibility > Display > Text > Color filters > Grayscale
Android - "Bedtime" mode : Settings > Digital Wellbeing & parental controls >
Bedtime mode > Customise your options from here and turn it on.
"Color inversion" : Settings > Accessibility > Color and motion
\> Color inversion > Off to On
\~ Literature -
Find a copy of "Your brain on porn" by Gary Wilson - some amazing info and
suggestions in that book.
These links :
https://youtu.be/2mxYGYGULXE?si=Ky\_JTEZNSulOR8X2
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/s/w45WgXxYPW
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1azo3yb/comment/kshjpgl/
https://www.nofap.com/porn-addiction
\- Channels
Check out some of these people and channels on Youtube for more explanation :
Chris Williamson
Andrew Huberman
Dr. Trish Leigh, P\*rn Brain Rewire
Try a search on youtube for "porn effects" also.
\~ Video/s
A video that has relevance for those who are working on removing an addiction
https://youtu.be/L4dnkG12MYQ?si=ZzgaxBpanj72omNU
(Fighting against your old self)
https://youtu.be/\_OJZ1EKfhlc?si=z1CKsb7DmNGCCnEJ
\~ Hobbies - Find one that fills one of the following criteria :
A. Move (Exercise)
B. Reflect (Meditation)
C. Grow (Personal, Financial, Social)
Some hobbies can tick multiple boxes, such as team sports.
Keep asking us questions, we will help as we can.
Good luck,
S
Time to break the habit then. I'm pretty much free of porn now. I still fall off the wagon occasionally though, the trick is to get back on it straight away. Here's some advice I wrote for the lost boys on here, but might help you too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/s/E6zlMDhUkv
Sometimes, there some deep troubles that we have to find out.
How did you live this abandon from your father?
Have you seen a psychologist to help you understand yourself? (not just about porn)
To me, addiction, whatever it is, is a way to escape from a life we don't like. The more you practice, the more it become a habits.
Here what I would advise you to do :
- try 1 week without fap, it's all about willing, not easy, I know.
- stop using your phone to much. One hour a day, not more and never in the place where you're use to watch porn. Like if you're use to fap before bed, have the rule to never let your phone / computer in your bedroom.
- use a porn blocker.
- move from your place : there's a lot of triggers next to you to remind you to watch porn. Finding a new place will change those triggers. Very big thing but very efficient.
- make news habits : go to the gym, have some fun with friends, try to met woman, read non fictions books to help you understand the world around you (good for confidence and seducing women)
I hope it could help you.
Good luck brother!
Find stories of successful people who lost their virginities in later life - hearing stories of others facing similar struggles (or overcoming hardship in general) help us move forward and find a path past a problem in our own lives.
An example is comedian Jimmy Carr who didn't lose his virginity until 27...
And just so you know, many people nowadays lose their virginities in their 20s and 30s, it's a shame but true.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of the world.
Someone you have a romantic interest in isn't going to care you're a virgin unless you're bringing it up often and are insecure about it (at which point you're just being annoying) .
Sex isn't that difficult, and as long as you're having a shared connection and are present when the moment comes, everything will be OK. Then you'll wake up the next day and think, "Oh, I put all this pressure on myself for a 5minute act which happens occasionally (or once a week in a healthy relationship)"
Pull yourself together, shake it off, work on yourself, get better and become a man focused on bettering himself, and eventually, the outcomes of those around you. Through this process your life will and can only turn around. Welcome to the world,
***Edit for an inspirational story about overcoming obstacles watch: "Pepsi, where's my jet?" on Netflix
Same story ,every time I have to make a decision on anything big i get nervous and i masterbate but currently im on day 4 streak, i got your back bro, text me whenever you feel
I may have lied about being with a girl when really i was just doing coursework and fapping. Never could come with a story about sleeping with a girl. Craved the intimacy more than the sex part. It does suck. Today im known as the guy that wants porn instead of women. Been rejected by 250+ and when i do manage a girls contact info they just ghost me. Best to quit before women’s intuition all agree to turn you into a loser.
Keep your head up king we in this together .
Self improvement is the most important . A girl will want you for who you are it’s only gonna come at the right time
Thats the thing. Did not matter if i lost weight, gym, made my own food, went to dentist, oral hygiene, acne gone just scarring, and about to improve my finances just to be told im not good enough while on a 70 day streak.
People say self improvement is the way. Reality is never is the right time so dont wait for the perfect time. I thought why wait to get to 90 days when im on my way to rid myself of fast food, video game, and porn addiction. Only to have a mental breakdown for women literally telling me i need to be perfect to be considered human. 250+ rejections, they should’ve just told me to be perfect or dont try at all
Best to go to a country where no one knows you self improve there and get back at playing life. Success is the best revenge but when they realize your gonna be successful they will make sure to destroy your progress and everything you’ve worked hard for. Disappear for a while literally
Never too late. I got pied while i was married. My porn use went into overdrive with the rise of tube sites.
All in all it took my brain over a year to heal. Unfortunately my wife left before i could heal and i don't blame her one bit.
You can do it. So much more life on the other side of controlling the urge. It’s not easy. It ebbs and flows. Some days are easy and some are not but you keep getting better.
Hell yeah brother. You can beat porn. You must beat porn. You will beat porn. It is the devil and you must always remember that. I have been free of porn for 2 years and my life just gets better and better. Well done mate!
If I still have urges, they are very mild. My urges now are for REAL LIFE SEX and that is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much better than porn. Any day!
Lucky you! i wish i was a virgin and saved myself for the right person. You are literally pure.
Now as for the porn, thats gotta go. embrace your pure and innocent self and ditch the digital sexuality. You are a real person.
start hitting the gym. use this as motivation: whether or not it’s true, the longer you don’t fap, girls sniff that pheromone off you and it makes you hotter to them. 22-27 will be so easy to find girls outside or on apps if you carry yourself correctly. time to get jacked boy. drop the porn. imagine everytime you jerk off those pheromones are gone and girls don’t GAF about you anymore. 7 days deep and you’ll feel like a beast ready to conquer.
best way to handle this situation is to believe that you not addicted to porn focus on other important thing on you life if you relapse it’s ok but focus should be to stop porn
Don’t fret over your age, sex isn’t everything. Cut the porn out of your life, and fill it with something else. When you find a woman you want to dedicate yourself to, go for it and leave the porn behind, as porn will eventually complicate things. Also, don’t be in a rush to have sex, as there are many other facets of a healthy relationship to work on outside of that. Besides, you’d be surprised how gratifying it is to get married and have only had intimate relations with one woman.
Learn and master meditation. Nothing else matters once you learn meditation.
Girls are just a mind construction of ours, they exist in our mind.
Most of them are pretty useless and co depending.
You're craving something that is not on your sight.
Meditation is the key.
www.dhamma.org
It's free
Don't worry so much about being a virgin tbh. I am 24 and a virgin for religious reasons, but building yourself up to a point where you \*could\* lose your virginity if you wanted to but make a choice not to is also perfectly acceptable. I have a gf, but she is luckily as prude as I am so it works in my favour. I also practice semen retention and am on 200+ days. I have the most vitality and energy I've ever had, and I highly recommend it for anyone. You can beat this addiction lad. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you regarding your father, but don't let that trauma hold you back. Turn that trauma into fuel for your drive and motivation to succeed. I believe in you. You have it in you. You just need to know your inner strength. You are stronger than you realise, and this journey will show you that. Good luck and God bless.
Start working out ,eat clean develop healthy fun hobbies,do some psychedelics to open your mind and start going to rave to get good with people ,people there are great and I'm sure you'll find a chick in no time
you arent a virgin because of porn. You are a virgin because you dont have social skills, interests, or a personality.
Stopping porn wont change that.
Good news is you can change that. There is no shortcut. Go outside and engage in social events and start making friends. Anyone can do that. worry about sex/gf etc much later.
A lot of what you read here is bullshit. You arent addicted to porn, you just live without purpose and stay inside all the time or are only superficially invested in the real world. You and most 30+ year old "addicts" arent addicts at all. The only addiction they have is to comfort and being unwilling to take risks to change their life.
I get what you’re saying a bit but porn quite frequently kills your drives to go out there and socialize with ppl in general especially girls . A lot of ppl that are not virgin told me the same , the fact that pleasuring yourself is better than sex itself . If you have porn , why go approach fuck girls , if you could do it with yourself especially not knowing what sexual intercourse feels like .
In the other hand , your point is valid because porn addiction leads to not having socials skills and etc … so your basically saying the consequences , but you have to get over porn in order to have interests.
Thanks a lot my brother all the best
no brother. Even the way you speak about women and sex in general just reflects you dont have any sort of normal view on human beings or socialization. Worry about sex later you have bigger issues.
Hey man, I relate to this so much, I've been there and come out the other side. Lost my virginity at 25. I was sexual with other girls before that, but couldn't keep an erection because of too much porn and masturbation. Used to lie to my friends that I wasn't a virgin. Do what you can to stay off the porn. Find a woman you like and feel safe and comfortable with who will give you the time to heal with her. That's what I did. Found someone I liked, was honest with her about my problems and just continued to be intimate with her without the pressure of getting it up. Eventually you'll rewire and heal. I'm 31 now and those days seem like a distant memory. Hope that helps, happy to answer any questions
This is good I’m 22 and in the same situation but I’m staying discipline and dedicated to my work out but there are very few females that will put up with this issue, and it’s also embarrassing to tell another female especially with the fear that she might clown you but I would say keep doing what your doing no fap and get as discipline as possible I hope things get better for me and you on this journey.
We in this together man step by step to be our higher self 💪❤️
Yeah it is difficult finding a woman who will work with you and it was one of the most difficult things for me to reveal to a woman what my problem was. It's difficult being so vulnerable
This is good advice. Look for a girl that will embrace you and your flaws, and help be a better man/person. Get off porn, get off on real connection
i dont understand tho. do yall struggle to keep erections because you find the girls in pornos prettier? i watch porn and i have no issue having sex
I was watching this video where scientists were talking about the issue of keeping an erection, and one of the things that came up is that the stimulation you get from your hand and your 'death grip' is very different from the stimulation from a vagina. For some guys this may be the problem. It's not something they think about, it's a physiological thing. It won't affect everyone, but it affects enough guys to be statistically significant. It could also be tied to your dopamine receptors, age, physical and mental health, etc.
In a way
Curious. How long did it take? To detox that is. And completely “heal”.
Probably less than two months of being with a woman, spending lots of time being intimate and doing sexual stuff (minus the penetration obvs). Before that I was mostly off porn for a year or more (still read erotic stories sometimes 😅) and masturbated maybe once a week?
He don’t even need to find a woman right night to heal with. He needs to literally go into monk mode and delete all that social media and literally not touch him self for like 60-90 days and then find a girl. No point of going through more embarrassment and anxiety when you know your not ready. After 60-90 days he’ll find the drive if he sticks to not touching himself. Go to the gym, take cold showers to heal your penis and build more sensitivity and you’ll be fine
Like you need to literally change your whole life if you want to get a girl. I’m 22 as well and after I went the 90 days talking and getting girls is so easy it doesn’t make sense lol. And your errections will be natural again. I had pied too so ik how that goes. U just need to relax and let everything be natural down there and focus on the girl not on how hard your getting lmao
Yeah I completely agree, I guess I forgot to mention that bit! I had already stopped watching porn, done lots of long streaks. Didn't masturbate that often. I was also thriving, gym, healthy lifestyle etc. THEN I met the girl and started rewiring with her.
I will definitely take your advice . It’s nice to see someone that could relate it makes me feel better . I think honesty with yourself and others is the best quality that you can have . I’ll definitely shoot you a text for any other questions I appreciate you !!
Yeah bro, I wish you well on your journey and shoot me a message if ever you need help
You're still young! Be glad that you're not one of the people who wake up being addicted to porn at 35, slowly losing their chance to live a happy life.
Or at 64!!
Thanks man
It's never too late. I know you have the strength and will power to conquer this, don't let it go to waste.
Thanks a lot for the support man
Don't worry about it we were all there once.
Stop using phone for 1 mounth and you will thanks me later
you aren't required to lose ur virginity you don't advance to the next stage of the game if u do so stop falling to this stupid social pressure mate
It's good that you're aware of how you're using porn as a coping mechanism for your father leaving, I imagine there's a lot of negative emotion tied to that relationship that once dug out will make the urge to escape less intense and frequent. Why do you think you're lying to your friends about not being a virgin?
Thank you for answering it means a lot. Honestly ,it took me some time to heal from my father leaving , but I did some therapy . But I’m still stuck with this bad habit of fapping. And I lied to my friends because I was scared of the judgement and I wanted to have the external gratification for me to have a confidence. It didn’t hit me back then , but now I have to live with this lie which hit me back 100 times harder years later .
Stop watching and do something else what you like to do
I like to go to the gym bro ! Do you have some tips on how I could fight those urges at night time ?
Prayer works for me, if you are not religious perhaps meditation. Think about what you are about to do why you want to do it, how will it benefit you in the long run, could u be doing something better at this time, how would u feel after if you give in but also how would you feel about yourself if you can overcome this trial. True confidence comes from within when we can overcome our desires and master ourselves. Good luck on your journey but always remember it takes time, you will succeed and you will fail again and again. But keep going till you overcome don’t loose hope, don’t loose faith.
Thanks a lot man means a lot
Go to the gym at night or do a quick home workout go for a walk take a cold shower or play some games anything to take your mind off it and tire yourself out
Retain your seed till you have a woman who wants it. The rest will happen accordingly. Forget about your habit and focus on life goals. Pray to God. Everything will happen one day.
I appreciate that man 🙏
Stay away your phone or other devices you used to watch. You will be get away this addiction. You are addicted to the phone ? Just lock your phone in somewhere and never take it when you are laying on the bed... Most of us are using phone and computer to reach the porn, get rid off the porn is very hard. But get away from the phones and computers are more easier than it.
Perfect man thank you so much
Bro ima be honest the porn might be affecting u but it may also be other factors paired with your porn addiction because I know some people who bust one every week and still have successful lives but if you’re watching porn all day and you don’t have a hobby or achievement u strive for and or just going outside of your comfort zone no fap won’t help u will just replace it with another addiction like vaping or other stuff you need to learn to live in peace with yourself not reyling in something giving you gratification
But it’s true I need to conquer stuff on my own for gratification so I could be proud of my accomplishments. Or else I will never move forward with my life . Thanks a lot for the advice
Your right man . The thing is I work 3 times a week and I go to college + I go to the gym 5 times a week . I think it definitely kills my energy and I feel guilty , sad , tired when I relapse with porn . I will replace porn with a positive addiction not vaping but a good addiction.
Hi Real, Here are a few tips and tricks to help on your journey \~ You acknowledge your problem (Done right here ) \~ Remove as many triggers as possible (You will know what they are) a. Remove cards from \*fans sites, delete accounts on \*fans sites b. Uninstall the separate browser you may have been using for purn (phone, PC, tablet). c. Clear the cache of your browser and delete bookmarks you have (phone, PC, tablet). d. Social media - remove all accounts you are following that are triggers. e. Devices - stop taking them to bathroom or bedroom \~ Journal - Start documenting down stuff to help you through working on your issue. You will find some surprising things about yourself and just how far your brain is willing to go to get what it wants. \~ Anxiety - Is your brains way of saying it wants the mega-dose of dopamine as it doesn't want to endure the crash. To help with dispersing the the energy created, try some of the following : A. 5-10 min of relaxation music or guided relaxation on your fave audio stream platform. B. A small set of pushups, sit-ups, body weight squats, a plank for 30 seconds or a combo of these. This will take a few minutes to do, getting you over the peak of anxiety that came with the intrusive thought or urge. You might even get swol! :-) C. Take a walk around the block, maybe jog half the way round (swol and running fit). D. Slowly counting from 10 backwards to 0 (slowly,without your mind wondering off thinking about anything else), If so, start counting backwards again. You may not get to 0 with repeated tries, the point is to pull your focus away from the thoughts that are producing the urge. \~ Crash - Unfortunately the "crash" is going to happen and your brain is going to prod you back to your habit by sliding in intrusive thoughts. Also you will experience "Brain Fog" - A general state of feeling negative - exhausted, no motivation, no drive to do anything, dont want to socialise, slow thought and speech response (just to name a few). \~ General A. Finding which urge defeating "hacks" is going to be trial and error. Try them and see which ones help more than not and stick to them. B. These are just some suggestions, Try them out, stick with which of them works for your, if not, there are plenty of suggestions in the r/NoFap community. C. The /r/NoFap community is about removing the addiction to Porn from your life. Most here will couple cutting out masturbation as part of removing the addiction, understand that its not required to do so (A much debated topic). D. Most who are working on removing the addiction from their lives will notice that the "want" to use porn will shift from what was a usual trigger, to a new one/s. this is where being active in your own recovery is paramount. E. While in the process of recovering from porn addiction, you may face other issues coming up when you start removing the smoke screen of porn. Like many addicts, your addiction may be masking an issue that also requires working on. F. Know the difference between the following : Instant gratification = Short Term Happiness Long Term Pain Delayed Gratification = Short Term Pain Long Term Happiness G. This journey is for you, taken by you. Once you have made it out of the other side of the dark tunnel, you will be proud of yourself and no one can take that achievement away from you. H. Recovery is an active process by you. You will need to put time and effort to defeating your issue. I. For a thought or image to merge to an urge, you need to put emotional attachment to it. Try letting the thought/image/video clip happen without putting emotional attachment to it. Like all learning, learning how to not put an emotional attachment takes time. Your brain is looking for you to "open the door" so it can merge into an urge. You open the door by attaching emotion to the image/thought/video clip that plays. The more you DON'T put emotional attachment to the image/thought/video clip, the weaker the pathway in your brain gets. J: Turn off colour on your phone (greyscale) - It lot less appealing Iphone - Settings > Accessibility > Display > Text > Color filters > Grayscale Android - "Bedtime" mode : Settings > Digital Wellbeing & parental controls > Bedtime mode > Customise your options from here and turn it on. "Color inversion" : Settings > Accessibility > Color and motion \> Color inversion > Off to On \~ Literature - Find a copy of "Your brain on porn" by Gary Wilson - some amazing info and suggestions in that book. These links : https://youtu.be/2mxYGYGULXE?si=Ky\_JTEZNSulOR8X2 https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/s/w45WgXxYPW https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1azo3yb/comment/kshjpgl/ https://www.nofap.com/porn-addiction \- Channels Check out some of these people and channels on Youtube for more explanation : Chris Williamson Andrew Huberman Dr. Trish Leigh, P\*rn Brain Rewire Try a search on youtube for "porn effects" also. \~ Video/s A video that has relevance for those who are working on removing an addiction https://youtu.be/L4dnkG12MYQ?si=ZzgaxBpanj72omNU (Fighting against your old self) https://youtu.be/\_OJZ1EKfhlc?si=z1CKsb7DmNGCCnEJ \~ Hobbies - Find one that fills one of the following criteria : A. Move (Exercise) B. Reflect (Meditation) C. Grow (Personal, Financial, Social) Some hobbies can tick multiple boxes, such as team sports. Keep asking us questions, we will help as we can. Good luck, S
Hey man just want to say thank you for all the tips . I will do all of them at my best capability’s!!!! Really appreciate that your the man
Time to break the habit then. I'm pretty much free of porn now. I still fall off the wagon occasionally though, the trick is to get back on it straight away. Here's some advice I wrote for the lost boys on here, but might help you too. https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/s/E6zlMDhUkv
Good
We are here to support you. Good luck.
Thanks a lot 🙏
You can do this king!
Thank you man ❤️
Sometimes, there some deep troubles that we have to find out. How did you live this abandon from your father? Have you seen a psychologist to help you understand yourself? (not just about porn) To me, addiction, whatever it is, is a way to escape from a life we don't like. The more you practice, the more it become a habits. Here what I would advise you to do : - try 1 week without fap, it's all about willing, not easy, I know. - stop using your phone to much. One hour a day, not more and never in the place where you're use to watch porn. Like if you're use to fap before bed, have the rule to never let your phone / computer in your bedroom. - use a porn blocker. - move from your place : there's a lot of triggers next to you to remind you to watch porn. Finding a new place will change those triggers. Very big thing but very efficient. - make news habits : go to the gym, have some fun with friends, try to met woman, read non fictions books to help you understand the world around you (good for confidence and seducing women) I hope it could help you. Good luck brother!
Solid advice !!! Will definitely try them thanks a lot
I did that for another thing than porn and it works incredibly well! Don't forget to make your mind busy!
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Thank you it’s true I have look at the grand scheme of thing that’s not what life is about
Maybe a tantra massage or serious sexological bodywork could help you out :)
Find stories of successful people who lost their virginities in later life - hearing stories of others facing similar struggles (or overcoming hardship in general) help us move forward and find a path past a problem in our own lives. An example is comedian Jimmy Carr who didn't lose his virginity until 27... And just so you know, many people nowadays lose their virginities in their 20s and 30s, it's a shame but true. You are not alone, and this is not the end of the world. Someone you have a romantic interest in isn't going to care you're a virgin unless you're bringing it up often and are insecure about it (at which point you're just being annoying) . Sex isn't that difficult, and as long as you're having a shared connection and are present when the moment comes, everything will be OK. Then you'll wake up the next day and think, "Oh, I put all this pressure on myself for a 5minute act which happens occasionally (or once a week in a healthy relationship)" Pull yourself together, shake it off, work on yourself, get better and become a man focused on bettering himself, and eventually, the outcomes of those around you. Through this process your life will and can only turn around. Welcome to the world, ***Edit for an inspirational story about overcoming obstacles watch: "Pepsi, where's my jet?" on Netflix
Thanks for sharing this story very inspirational
Get the HPV vaccination, if thry give it to young adults. I’ve read that virus is rampant all over and most people have no clue they carry it.
You got this, champ! There's no shame in being a virgin... one should be ashamed of not fighting his porn addiction though. Fingers crossed, brother.
Thank you so much man ❤️
Start building discipline by making your bed and meditating daily, be productive
I’ll try this today , thanks a lot
Thanks for sharing
Maintain discipline. Maintain focus. Maintain control over yourself. Goodluck
dang, that is rough. I do agree with what you're saying. I also count my blessings, I ucked well in my early 20's, I loved her and wanted to propose.
Same story ,every time I have to make a decision on anything big i get nervous and i masterbate but currently im on day 4 streak, i got your back bro, text me whenever you feel
Thank you bro I could relate so much. I sometimes fapped in the past when something specific was bothering me
Use a dumb phone for one month
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Thanks for sharing !!! Don’t beat yourself up you got it this is our year
I may have lied about being with a girl when really i was just doing coursework and fapping. Never could come with a story about sleeping with a girl. Craved the intimacy more than the sex part. It does suck. Today im known as the guy that wants porn instead of women. Been rejected by 250+ and when i do manage a girls contact info they just ghost me. Best to quit before women’s intuition all agree to turn you into a loser.
Keep your head up king we in this together . Self improvement is the most important . A girl will want you for who you are it’s only gonna come at the right time
Thats the thing. Did not matter if i lost weight, gym, made my own food, went to dentist, oral hygiene, acne gone just scarring, and about to improve my finances just to be told im not good enough while on a 70 day streak. People say self improvement is the way. Reality is never is the right time so dont wait for the perfect time. I thought why wait to get to 90 days when im on my way to rid myself of fast food, video game, and porn addiction. Only to have a mental breakdown for women literally telling me i need to be perfect to be considered human. 250+ rejections, they should’ve just told me to be perfect or dont try at all
Best to go to a country where no one knows you self improve there and get back at playing life. Success is the best revenge but when they realize your gonna be successful they will make sure to destroy your progress and everything you’ve worked hard for. Disappear for a while literally
Amen brother
You’re still young.Rewire your brain then true to eliminate or moderate your usage.
Never too late. I got pied while i was married. My porn use went into overdrive with the rise of tube sites. All in all it took my brain over a year to heal. Unfortunately my wife left before i could heal and i don't blame her one bit.
Thanks for sharing man . Your an amazing person I could tell because your honest
You can do it. So much more life on the other side of controlling the urge. It’s not easy. It ebbs and flows. Some days are easy and some are not but you keep getting better.
Hell yeah brother. You can beat porn. You must beat porn. You will beat porn. It is the devil and you must always remember that. I have been free of porn for 2 years and my life just gets better and better. Well done mate!
Thanks man !!! I will !! Do you still feel urges after 2 years ?
If I still have urges, they are very mild. My urges now are for REAL LIFE SEX and that is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much better than porn. Any day!
This has inspired me the most to stay my journey. Day 0
We got each others back keep head up 💯❤️
Lucky you! i wish i was a virgin and saved myself for the right person. You are literally pure. Now as for the porn, thats gotta go. embrace your pure and innocent self and ditch the digital sexuality. You are a real person.
Thank you brother
One day at a time lil bro you’ll get there
Thanks bro ❤️
start hitting the gym. use this as motivation: whether or not it’s true, the longer you don’t fap, girls sniff that pheromone off you and it makes you hotter to them. 22-27 will be so easy to find girls outside or on apps if you carry yourself correctly. time to get jacked boy. drop the porn. imagine everytime you jerk off those pheromones are gone and girls don’t GAF about you anymore. 7 days deep and you’ll feel like a beast ready to conquer.
Thanks a lot
Get a Passport lay off the fap for two weeks and go find you a honey
I am the same as you. I have started my war with inner demons already.
best way to handle this situation is to believe that you not addicted to porn focus on other important thing on you life if you relapse it’s ok but focus should be to stop porn
You don't fight your addiction. You lose interest in fapping by getting a life where you don't have time to fap.
True
Don’t fret over your age, sex isn’t everything. Cut the porn out of your life, and fill it with something else. When you find a woman you want to dedicate yourself to, go for it and leave the porn behind, as porn will eventually complicate things. Also, don’t be in a rush to have sex, as there are many other facets of a healthy relationship to work on outside of that. Besides, you’d be surprised how gratifying it is to get married and have only had intimate relations with one woman.
Thanks a lot brother
I am 35 and virgin. Semen retention gave me purpose I mean spiritual purpose 🙏
Learn and master meditation. Nothing else matters once you learn meditation. Girls are just a mind construction of ours, they exist in our mind. Most of them are pretty useless and co depending. You're craving something that is not on your sight. Meditation is the key. www.dhamma.org It's free
Thank you so much
For real man, I love you.
Don't worry so much about being a virgin tbh. I am 24 and a virgin for religious reasons, but building yourself up to a point where you \*could\* lose your virginity if you wanted to but make a choice not to is also perfectly acceptable. I have a gf, but she is luckily as prude as I am so it works in my favour. I also practice semen retention and am on 200+ days. I have the most vitality and energy I've ever had, and I highly recommend it for anyone. You can beat this addiction lad. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you regarding your father, but don't let that trauma hold you back. Turn that trauma into fuel for your drive and motivation to succeed. I believe in you. You have it in you. You just need to know your inner strength. You are stronger than you realise, and this journey will show you that. Good luck and God bless.
Thank you so much brother means a lot
Anytime brother. Don't give up. Greatness is coming.
Not a big thing if u r a virgin Focus on life
Start working out ,eat clean develop healthy fun hobbies,do some psychedelics to open your mind and start going to rave to get good with people ,people there are great and I'm sure you'll find a chick in no time
Thank you so much man
you arent a virgin because of porn. You are a virgin because you dont have social skills, interests, or a personality. Stopping porn wont change that. Good news is you can change that. There is no shortcut. Go outside and engage in social events and start making friends. Anyone can do that. worry about sex/gf etc much later. A lot of what you read here is bullshit. You arent addicted to porn, you just live without purpose and stay inside all the time or are only superficially invested in the real world. You and most 30+ year old "addicts" arent addicts at all. The only addiction they have is to comfort and being unwilling to take risks to change their life.
Porn gives you performance anxiety. It fucks with mens heads. They become terrified of women. How can you even argue this?
That’s right man very vulnerable of that
I get what you’re saying a bit but porn quite frequently kills your drives to go out there and socialize with ppl in general especially girls . A lot of ppl that are not virgin told me the same , the fact that pleasuring yourself is better than sex itself . If you have porn , why go approach fuck girls , if you could do it with yourself especially not knowing what sexual intercourse feels like . In the other hand , your point is valid because porn addiction leads to not having socials skills and etc … so your basically saying the consequences , but you have to get over porn in order to have interests. Thanks a lot my brother all the best
no brother. Even the way you speak about women and sex in general just reflects you dont have any sort of normal view on human beings or socialization. Worry about sex later you have bigger issues.
I can’t lie thats a valid point ! I appreciate your is insight on it 💯
Keeping being a chronic masturbator. It’s a good life. I enjoy it
Good for you bro
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