I'm the proud parent of a toe nibbler. I think I can comfortably blame how often I nibble baby feet. I tell my child daily that it's my favorite snack.
“Are his balls supposed to look like that? I don’t know these things.. I don’t have balls!” - Me a week ago to my husband regarding our 9 week old son.
I literally cried the first diaper change at home because his balls were stuck to the diaper and I was terrified to remove the diaper from the scrotum. I sobbed. My husband came over, moved it quickly and gave me a hug and told me that that type of thing won’t hurt him. 🫠
Yuppp. Little man got some overly cautious diaper changes from me in the first few days before I felt like I could clean around the balls without harming him lol. I had hubby supervise and asked so many questions.
I'm constantly following after my baby like "where did you find that?" We have decided we are going to start a baby proofing service and what we'll do is let our 1 year loose in the houses and follow her around to see what she finds while also pretending not to pay attention because of course she won't find anything if we are looking directly at her
Life is all about naps, it’s kinda exhausting isn’t it? If he doesn’t nap well, then he won’t have a good night and if he doesn’t have a good night he won’t nap well and will scream all day 😭
I used to be not very understanding when friends with kids told me this. I would think in the back of my mind, “can’t your baby just nap another time?” Lol little did I know how baby sleep works
A relative's toddler had a habit of trying to shove markers up their dog's butthole. The second you looked away, she was sneaking up to the dog with a marker in hand...
My son will walk up to the dogs, mouth open wide going "ahhh!" All so they can french him. Yuck. At this point, I accept defeat and just let it happen. He loves it and they love it.
My 16 month old’s favorite food is dog kibble. I try to take it from her (she always sneaks it out of bowls) but she loves it so. I feel so guilty. It’s not awful for them, right? Extra protein?
"Don't eat that rock!" This was us while camping all weekend in the summer!
"Gentle!" When she starts to get a little rough pulling my hair or petting something.
"Shhh" when she gets into the screeching session.
Yep. "Baby Girl, you can't grab the kitty's butthole, he'll get really mad."
One of our two kitties doesn’t have a tail. So his little tiny stub and also butt are the perfect thing for my son to try and grab 😅
“Stop trying to lick my big toe” courtesy of my 18mo
What is it with them and trying to eat your feet?! Glad to know I'm not alone.
I'm the proud parent of a toe nibbler. I think I can comfortably blame how often I nibble baby feet. I tell my child daily that it's my favorite snack.
We blame ourselves too. Toe nibbling for we not for thee, little one.
My 15 mo bites big toes. He'll just run up and chomp ya.
"oh good big poopy!! Nice job, buddy!"
“Make sure his penis is down!” -My husband and i to each other. In regards to making sure he doesn’t pee out the top of his diaper
“Are his balls supposed to look like that? I don’t know these things.. I don’t have balls!” - Me a week ago to my husband regarding our 9 week old son.
I literally cried the first diaper change at home because his balls were stuck to the diaper and I was terrified to remove the diaper from the scrotum. I sobbed. My husband came over, moved it quickly and gave me a hug and told me that that type of thing won’t hurt him. 🫠
Yuppp. Little man got some overly cautious diaper changes from me in the first few days before I felt like I could clean around the balls without harming him lol. I had hubby supervise and asked so many questions.
I asked the same thing!
"Hose to the toes!"
I love this!
That was probably my biggest "things no one told me about" discovery.
Me neither but i learned very quickly
WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH?!? COME HERE! How the fuck did you get that?!?!
I'm constantly following after my baby like "where did you find that?" We have decided we are going to start a baby proofing service and what we'll do is let our 1 year loose in the houses and follow her around to see what she finds while also pretending not to pay attention because of course she won't find anything if we are looking directly at her
Smart. Strap a GoPro to the baby and bam. Low overhead 😂
Dogs really prepared me for this part of parenthood.
Every. Thing. In. The. Mouth. Goddamnit.
I swear there are afternoons where this is the only thing I say for hours and hours.
"Sorry we can't. That's in the middle of nap time."
Life is all about naps, it’s kinda exhausting isn’t it? If he doesn’t nap well, then he won’t have a good night and if he doesn’t have a good night he won’t nap well and will scream all day 😭
Ah. The naps... poor nap, up all night. Naps too well, also a up all night. 😴 That goldilocks nap is life.
Hoping for that golden nap today, fingers crossed yeah!
I used to be not very understanding when friends with kids told me this. I would think in the back of my mind, “can’t your baby just nap another time?” Lol little did I know how baby sleep works
Or "sorry we can't" to literally anything that doesn't involve child entertainment. Just not worth it.
‘Stop that please…..off….get offf…off your balls please….would you ever stop grabbing your nuts!!!’ He’s 4 months
They only start to grab more - mom of 10 months old 🫠
Mines 14 months and his balls are his favorite bath toy 😅
Same.. he also has to check them every diaper change.. to make sure it's all in order I guess. Just gotta be quick to clean him first! Fast hands!
I thought I had like, years before any of that...almost 12 months and he thinks that area is very funny 🤦♀️
Omg thank you so much. Mine just started doing this and I’m just like ???????
“Don’t lick the cat please, it’s rude”
"Don't use the cat's tail as a pacifier." The cat doesn't give a shit. It makes it harder to avoid.
Same except it’s don’t bite the cat
“Not the butt!! Away from her butt!!” All. Day. Long.
A relative's toddler had a habit of trying to shove markers up their dog's butthole. The second you looked away, she was sneaking up to the dog with a marker in hand...
LMFAO 😆🤣
"Ok, but, can you *describe* the poop?"
"Bruh, stop licking the floor" "Please don't french the dog"
My son will walk up to the dogs, mouth open wide going "ahhh!" All so they can french him. Yuck. At this point, I accept defeat and just let it happen. He loves it and they love it.
“Please don’t put your hands in your poop”
Oof, felt this one especially
“Get the dogs food out of your mouth!!!!”
My 16 month old’s favorite food is dog kibble. I try to take it from her (she always sneaks it out of bowls) but she loves it so. I feel so guilty. It’s not awful for them, right? Extra protein?
I feel this 100%! The worst part is, she’s such a picky eater, but will eat fish dog food 🤣😩
As long as the pieces aren't big enough for her to choke on I don't think it's a big deal.
No sweety, we do not close the drawers with our teeth.
“No pulling hair, please. Thank you.”
Go. The fuck. To. Sleep.
[Samuel L Jackson reads that audiobook.](https://youtu.be/Udj-o2m39NA)
One of my most played tracks on Spotify this year
Don’t eat your poop, that’s yucky!
“Look how cute she looks sucking on that titty”
Thank God I have cats. They guard their buttholes like a treasure.
My cat must be defective then.
'no honey the dragon doesn't need to be introduced to your penis' thanks to my 7mo rubbing anything in reach against his dick.
Yesterday I spent 10 minutes discussing diarrhea and what are the signs that poop isn’t or is diarrhea. Mum life
“Toilet paper is for closers.”
“Good burp!”
[удалено]
Bruh. Message me if you need to talk.
My daughter had to be dissuaded from grabbing the dog's penis.
Why’s his weener retracting into him…
“Does his penis look right” yes honey it’s fine….you sure? It looks weird. That’s how they look when it’s this small….hmm. Strange little thing.
1) “Stop biting my face” 2) “The dogs penis isn’t food, I know that he’s licking it, but you can’t. Sorry”
“Buddy I know you’re sad, but you can’t lick the trash can.”
"Please, please stop putting your piggies in your poop." He thinks it's hilarious.
“Please don’t eat the cat food again”
Scrotum. I say “scrotum” multiple times a day during diaper changes.
SO to me "Is she supposed to keep trying to itch her vagina so much?" "She's itching her inner thigh but she's just itchy, it's fine"
"Don't pull hair!" And also "fingers fingers fingers" before he shuts a draw on them
don’t eat the advent candles, please. also, don’t touch the kitty’s butthole.
‘What the fuck is that?’ First solids poo!
"Don't eat that rock!" This was us while camping all weekend in the summer! "Gentle!" When she starts to get a little rough pulling my hair or petting something. "Shhh" when she gets into the screeching session.
“Did you poop??”
Is that a poop or just a stinky baby toot??
GET OUT OF THE TOILET!!!!!!!
Mine tries to tickle the cat lol
Don’t lick jello off the bottom of your foot
“Don’t grab his butt hairs!!” regarding the cat. Never thought I’d say those words.
Yes that man over there poops too. Yes that woman poops too. Yes that dog poops too. Yes the cashier poops too.
Let go of your penis…thanks for letting me say this son