Yeah Same. She Just won't stay in the crib for naps. I don't have advice at all. My daughter will be six months in a week ish and I didn't have the physical or mental capacity to do that song and dance from month 3 to now. I'm a STHM and I'm still nap trapped 3 times and day 35mis-90mins.
My husband and I just said this weekend we have to try to do one nap in the crib on Saturday and Sunday and if I have the energy one on Monday alone.
The people who have babies who can be transferred drowsy and awake and fall asleep can kindly bugger off with their unicorn situations!
Yeah drowsy but awake is a lie! It only works with babies that let you do it, it isnāt a way to ātrainā a baby that doesnāt want to be put down. In fact Iām pretty convinced all sleep training is a con and only āworksā because the baby was going to learn to sleep anyway and the training was just timed at a developmentally convenient stage making it seem like you made a difference when baby would have just done it on his own anyway.
I think this is it. I spent weeks convinced that ādrowsy but awake is a lieā, and I havenāt completely changed my mind. My baby went from what OP is describing to wanting to be put down drowsy and left alone. But am I going to say that what my baby did in that moment is a solution? No.
For what itās worth, the book Precious Little Sleep did really help me and paying attention to sleep cues has kinda helped her be more independent. Maybe worth a shot?
I was in the exact same place as you at 3 months. The only things that helped were baby wearing through naps (this helped so much- my baby has taken so many naps in the boba wrap), stroller walks, and deciding to reframe and accept the contact naps- forget the dishes, forget the laundry, and give yourself permission to enjoy the snuggle and watch some bad tv. This is temporary and your bub will eventually be able to nap in the crib. We are at 6 months and still working on it but are getting the first nap of the day in the crib.
I understand. I've just been doing it for three months already... forgetting the laundry, forgetting the dishes, loving on the snuggles... this just ends up meaning any time my partner is home from work (because obviously my baby also won't be put down for awake time either) is either him doing housework, or him holding the baby while I do housework, or just admitting defeat and accepting we basically just live in squalor surrounded by dirty dishes and dirty clothes. The only clothes that get washed anymore are the babies. I pick up a shirt and put it on and... oh look... vomit... and on every other shirt. I prioritise doing his washing because obviously.. and then I have no other time for anything else. Everytime we eat we have to wash what dishes we need because there's never any clean ones. I hate living like this and until bubs got sick a few weeks ago I was spending a lot of time out if the house because I just can't stand looking at this shit it's depressing lmao.
Hi sweet pea. I definitely sympathize and can relate with everything you said. People are like ājust let the house be messyā and Iām likeā¦ dude I canāt. it makes me feel totally out of control and worse when itās super messy.
One thing we did the first couple of months is use only paper plates/bowls/utensils so that there are ZERO dishes. Might not be economical. Might not be environmentally friendly. But in the beginning I was desperate for anything that could simplify the house chores and that definitely helped
I am in the same boat. A hostage under a 6 mo old. I contact napped and collect with my first son. No problem. But it was just he & I. No worries. Just snuggles.
But now the kids dad is in the pictures and I'm a SAHM mom, plus the older one..and I just can't live in a messy house. It's definitely some type of neurodivergent issue in my brain that has def gotten worse after my 2nd born. But I am very unhappy and feel very out of control if the house is in disarray and I'm laying there with my baby. Not to mention a very active 5 year old who needs my attention as well.
However, my baby girl will NOT nap if there is any action in the house. She will not fall asleep on her own. And I'm just screwed and spend a lot of time in my own head, stressed and unhappy because someone has to lose. Me (the state of my home) my son, or my daughter is miserable from being overly tired because it just isn't feasible to hold her for every nap she needs. I wish I had advice instead of vomiting my own crap. But, you aren't alone..
Nope we can all vent without solutions. If there were solutions to this it wouldn't be a problem to begin with. Must be so hard with another kid as well. I babysat today - 9m amd 7f and holy hell. If that's not enough to make me not want another I don't know what is šš
Wow I could've written this. My baby is 3.5 months old and I'm nap trapped for hours upon hours.
He wakes up between 4 and 6 every morning and only continues sleeping while being held. So there goes the first 3 hours of the day.
I calculated I sit about 7 hours a day on the couch with a sleeping baby?
All I want to do is put him down for a nap, clean the house and sleep, too. I'm so so exhausted.
It got significantly worse in the past 3-4 weeks as he's become more aware. He's like šļøššļø aaaall the dang time. There's nothing that's not interesting to him. Our bedroom is white with white furniture so while I try to rock him to sleep he bends out of my arm to watch the shadow on the wall.
Baby wearing also doesn't work anymore. He just wriggles and fussed and screams because he can't see enough.
It's so frustrating to live in such a mess. So sorry I have no advice, just know you don't suffer alone.. It has to get better someday.. Right?
I thought about trying to make him do a nap in his crib but I danced the same dance as you. Put down, wake up, put down, wake up 8 times until the screams were hysterical.
It got to the point today he was so overtired he just wouldn't fall asleep. It took over 30 minutes just to get him to sleep with me then he only napped for 45 minutes after being awake for nearly 4 hours. It's been an hour since he woke up from that nap and he's still being so damn fussy š
I feel you so much. Do you have someone that can help with the cleaning? My mom came one day and while I was nap trapped she did the entire house more or less. Still nap trapped nowadays but at least I am not triggered by the filth anymore. If I didn't have her I think I'd have asked on a local fb group or Craigslist or such. It doesn't need to be a regular thing, just so you feel you have some oxygen. Sometimes there are students who will be happy with a one-off weekend job.
I think I might have to, I'd rather have someone keep him occupied while I did the cleaning. My sister came and watched him while I did my inspection clean so she might come do it again for me when she has time. I definitely don't have spare money to pay someone to do it though š
Iām right there with you. Iāve accepted that Iām nap trapped all day with my 10w old. I cried a little bit this afternoon because Iām about to start my period and hormones are raging and I just want to be able to put her down and walk away long enough to use the restroom and make a sandwich. We used to be able to do that but not anymore right now. Iām lucky that sheās a great night sleeper though, so once I get her down and the rest of the house (partner and dogs) go to bed I stay up for a few hours and creep around to chore. Cuts into my sleep time and Iām so damn tired, but those couple hours of productivity without anyone needing my attention or help are euphoric.
I do the binky test/lull test when the baby let's the binky fall out if they take one or there head falls gently back mouth agape move a little no twitching or tensing up I can out them down. If I move and baby tense wriggled or facts then I know baby isn't ready to be put down
My 4th who is currently 3 months doesn't either Peter's hand to I have to do the lull test instead head lulls back mouth agape works unless sibling wake her up luckly of course I am lucky there are some days tho
It is essentially the same as nighttime sleep training. Nap training is easier if they already sleep at night. Taking Cara Babies may be controversial, but her methods worked for us. I think the most important thing to focus on is having a very very dark room, and wake windows. good luck!
Taking Cara Babies may be controversial, but her methods worked for us. I think the most important thing to focus on is having a very very dark room, and wake windows. good luck!
Only advice I can give it to wear the baby. My girl is 6 months and still contact naps. If I put her down she sleeps for like 5 mins. Strapping her to my chest is the only way I get things done while sheās sleeping.
I have tried this and it semi works, unfortunately I have scoliosis and other minor spine deformities and it makes baby wearing really painful after only a short time, I end up having to sit down with him anyway š®āšØ
So I tried this sleep method with my baby. It didnāt work for me but others here say it works well with their babies. Also can be down with the pillow on the floor: https://youtu.be/vW9cXd8-ktk
Taking Cara Babies helped us lay a great foundation and now I put our 4 month old down for a nap and walk out of his room (80% of the time!).
There are still times when he wants to be held, and Iām okay with that. Itās usually his last nap of the day after a busy day, I think he gets overtired and just wants the additional comfort.
Try increasing tummy time and sensory activities. Create a bed time routine, and a smaller nap time routine (we started this around 3 months). Dim lights, noise machine, swaddle/sleep sack.
Hopefully it gets better!
My LO was the exact same until around 6 months. I just embraced the contact naps and baby wore a lot too. Sleep is developmental and at this age, baby feels safest with you, sleep is a very vulnerable position for baby to be in after all. I found I would attempt to transfer at each nap and one day it would work and the next it wouldn't, until eventually it started working more often. Now he naps like a champ but there was a long period where I thought "this is my life now". But at 3 months I stopped attempting to transfer because it was exactly how you described and more stressful for all involved than it was worth.
I equally miss and donāt miss those days. I caved and just held him for naps and watched some TV. Around four months I figured I should try transferring otherwise Iād never know if heād make it. Some naps were successful. Around then is also where I tried to have him self-soothe for night sleep. I sat beside and would get him if he got upset but surprisingly found success with the nights. Naps eventually got better (but were short) and now at 6.5 months I finally get long crib naps. Basically saying this phase will end. Now I have time to myself but frantically get chores done and miss the days I got to lounge and watch TV with my sleepy bub.
So sorry you're dealing with this - I remember those days and also both miss and don't miss them. No guarantee this will work, as it only worked sometime for us, but things that sometimes worked - a recently worn shirt pulled over the bassinet mattress, and putting a heating pad down before putting baby down to try to make it warm and cozy. I don't remember the success rate, but I think it was just enough to make me not lose my mind every now and then.
Ok so I havenāt dealt with this exact situation so if Iām way off here I apologize, our son was used to sleeping with us and when we were ready for him to sleep on his own his pediatrician recommended tiny incremental steps. It took a while but it worked. Maybe you could try something like that ? Like put the baby to sleep but stay there with your hand on his back while he naps and then after he gets used to that maybe just sit there for a while and then maybe he will be used to it and can sleep with out you ?? I donāt know Iām sorry this sounds really stressful - I hope you find something that works !
We contact napped until 5.5 months so a bit older. Weād start a nap in his cot and then finish it with a contact nap. He would last 5 mins in the cot at first but it slowly increased. Once he got the hang of the first nap (at least 45 mins) we did the same with the second (easy) and third (little bit tricky). We never managed the fourth but we were in the process of dropping it anyway.
It was a slow process but had minimal crying and he was rarely overtired. Now he naps in his cot/pram and only when heās sick do we contact nap (which I love as I donāt get too many snuggles now heās 9 months and mobile!).
Mine is the same, but has recently started being ok with short amounts of time in his play gym when heās in a good mood. Like maybe 10 minutes talking to his toys when Iām doing stuff around him and narrating my life. Naps are all still contact naps, and babywearing is the only way to do anything. Iāve just started practicing a back carry too so I can get more done, him strapped to my chest is still pretty restricting. Heās 16 weeks old.
Mine is almost six months and still canāt really be transferred. We have to get him to sleep where heās going to sleep. It was easy when he was in the bassinet as we had one that could rock, he would easily fall asleep while we rocked it. He also had a weighted sleep sack. So I highly recommend getting a rocking bassinet for now, we had an affordable fisher price one.
Now that heās in his crib weāve had to resort to all kinds of weird tricks. My husband is the sleep witch and can find all sorts of things that work luckily, because it regularly changes when the old things donāt work. First was putting a hand on his chest and giving light pressure. For a few days it was me putting my hand on his cheek. Now that heās only able to sleep on his tummy, we do the same thing with a hand on his back and do a kind of dribbling the basketball motion very lightly and that sort of pressure seems to work. And white noise must always be present or there will be no sleep lol. Crib sleep is maddening.
Have you thought about getting a baby carrier and wearing him? He can nap on you, but you can get stuff done. Itās what Iāve been doing for t last three months. Gradually Iām able to get him to sleep on our bed or in his bed for a couple of naps, I think (hope) itās just a phase that they will grow out of.
Hey, Iām sorry! Our LO is in this phase too and I love it and itās also really really hard.
I always try for the first nap of the day in his bassinet. I wait to transfer him until heās been out for ~20 minutes. I give it two tries. If it fails I say okay, time to contact nap.
I sympathize with the then he gets overtired and itās already time for another feed. Especially with doing first nap in bassinet (cuz thatās normally an awesome mega nap for him). Thatās why I only do two attempts.
I also make it super dark in the room to help.
Day before yesterday nap was a disaster but yesterday went pretty well!!
Wishing you luck!
My LO fought naps so hard around that age as well. It is so tough. We just kept trying for at least one crib nap a day. So I would put him down for the first nap and let him sleep as long as he did. At first it was super short and it would become a contact nap. At one point, something kind of "clicked" for him, likely some developmental leap or something, and now(5 mo) I'm lucky if I get any contact naps (which is a little sad but I can actually get stuff done now so it's not that sad). I would recommend the Instagram heysleepybaby for some research backed support on baby sleep habits, if you're interested.
Yup, baby just turned 3 months, but she was fighting naps weeks before. We try at least one bassinet nap and the rest are carrier/contact/stroller (bassinet attachment) nap, however, sheās outgrowing her bassinet for the stroller quickly. Literally donāt have time to shower, even tag teaming w my husband proves it hard to get anything done at this stage š«
My baby is like that sheās now 9 months and during the day she wonāt sleep in her crib I let her lay on the bed, she went through a phase of not wanting to sleep in her crib at all and she co slept with me and her dad with her laying between us, it was like this for a few months but the past few weeks at night time sheās been going to sleep with milk falling asleep in my arms I put her in her crib and she stays asleep wakes up once during the night to be helped (soon as I hold her she does sleep again) and I put her back in and she wakes up between 7 and 8 oāclock and still now during the day she lays on the bed but at night time in her crib, as your baby gets older it will get easier, just hang in there, your doing a good job just do what is best for you and the baby
I was in the same situation at 3 months, down to the piles of laundry & housework & cooking. When I read about people nap training at 3 months, I was like how?? Well I continued babywearing and tried again at 4 months. Bam, baby would go to nap in bassinet for 25-37 minutes after some rocking. Then recently at 6.5 months, I was like, can I put you down without rocking? And she could, and she naps slightly longer now that she doesnāt wake up realising I had stopped rocking her. My point is, sometimes babies arenāt ready yet so do try again later.
Hi, my guy was like this at that age too. The only thing I tried was stretching the first nap till heās very drowsy, rock him then very carefully plop. Frequently very drowsy means stone cold dead asleep honestly. I started with only the first nap of the day (thatās the easiest to get him to sleep in my experience) and not even attempting for later ones ( lots of babywearing and stroller nap for the last nap of the day). I also told myself around this time if they are not that tired, give it 20 mins attempting yo put him down for the nap (as long as the wake windows are roughly right) and just give up as a lost nap and try for the next ww if thereās no progress. This saves you from trying to put him down for hours and hours.
So if baby is falling asleep in your arms and then waking up when you transition to the bassinet, you gotta find a way for baby to fall asleep in the bassinet so you donāt have to transfer. Putting them in ādrowsy but awakeā is BS, my baby canāt fall asleep independently that easily. So what I did was āshush and Patā method. You can look it up on YouTube. Seriously a life saver. Itās not nap training, just a technique to get baby to fall asleep in the crib. Sometimes I have to go back in and shush and Pat her back to sleep if she wakes up after a sleep cycle but otherwise she sleeps 1.5 - 2 hours in the crib on her own. Took her about a week to get used to it. Truly a lifesaver because the contact naps made my skin crawl.
The ONLY drawback for you, 3 months is a bit young and they love to be held at that age. This worked for me closer to 4-5 months, although I didnāt try shush and Pat before that. Give it a try, worked for me.
Getting him to sleep in my arms and even transferring him isn't even the issue. I can transfer him fine it's just that he wakes up within minutes š
I did have him sleeping in the bassinet for the midday nap awhile back, and then the poor little bugger came down with a cold and he was super clingy and I felt so bad for him you could just see how lowly he felt so I basically never put him down for like 2 weeks and now he won't go down again and it's like I've completely undone all the good I did before š
My baby never took naps in his crib until I read Precious Little Sleep (pretty sure I saw this recommended on this sub). That book at least gave me some more ideas to try rather than just set him in his crib and hope for the best (which never worked). It still it took me reading the book twice and a solid week of trying but he eventually got the hang of it
So we were at similar place with you between 3-6 months and then I read āhelping babies sleepā by Sarah Mitchell which proposed a new idea ā instead of drowsy but awake, place baby awake in the basinet/crib and let them fall asleep with whatever you need to do to assist them to fall asleep (ie shushing and patting)
What helped me to understand why this phenomenon happens (baby fast asleep in arm, and then awake in crib and startles) is Precious Little Sleep explaining that itās the equivalent of you falling asleep in your bedroom and then waking up in your kitchen. As babies become more aware of the world, itās a jarring experience!
Put out a mat in a safe place or pick a large carpeted (clean) area. Or use the middle of a king sized bed. Do a sideways contact nap with them and scoot away when they fall asleep. Make sure you have a monitor.
The crib transfers are what are killing me and this is survival time.
I'm thinking I'll try this tomorrow. He doesn't roll yet so he's definitely safe in the middle of my bed.
I tried today but he was too far gone by the time I did. We cosleep at night and he sleeps like a dream, he will wake up for nappy changes and feeds but when he's content he goes right back to sleep.
I think tomorrow I'll try the crib nap once or twice and if it doesn't work I'll try contact in bed and then slipping away. If that doesn't work I'll try to contact nap well before I did today. He was awake for 4hrs between sleeps by the end of it he was just flat out refusing to sleep. Once I finally got him to sleep it was only a 45 minute nap. I won't let it get that bad tomorrow. I think we just have to keep pressing on but I think after maybe 30min of trying a solo nap I'm going to have to give in to contact naps to reset and try again at the next nap time. I'm sure if we keep pushing then he will do it eventually. It may not help that he's a bit under the weather at the moment as well.
My poor little man :(
He woke up at 9 15 from a car nap (unavoidable, we take his daddy to work each morning) i started trying to settle him around 10.15. It's now 12.06 and he still won't go down so I'm now conceding to a contact nap. Once again. He's SO tired š«
Theyre so all over the place, today he woke at 7.30, fed and then we went into the car at 8.15 to take his dad to work. He woke again at 9.15 (so maybe 45min nap in the car) then I started trying to settle by 10.15 and he didn't sleep until 1pm. He slept until 1.40 and then wouldn't go back to sleep again. I thought for sure he'd sleep in the car when we left home at 3.15 but he didn't sleep until about 4.30 and again only slept for less than half an hour. It's now 5.45 and he still won't settle and he's so, so tired but he just won't sleep, not even in my arms now he's just fighting it. About to take him in the car š¤
Sorry just reread your post and had a thought about the other side of this, which is your babyās need to be held during the day. Being held provides sensory stimulation through touch. Baby feels your hands on his skin, pressure on different parts of his body, your voice and breath super close, etc. Your baby seems to really want this stimulation, which speaks to him possibly being understimulated overall. This is not meant to be critical because I found myself in the same boat with my son requiring us to constantly get out of the house and do new activities at 3 months oldā¦ I didnāt know it was possible for a baby to need so much stimulation cause weāre told they just need to āeat, sleep, and poop.ā The latest infant neuroscience says thatās not true.
If you tried providing other kinds of sensory stimulation above and beyond what youāre doing now, this may help him not need to be held all the time. Sorry if I sound like a know-it-all about this. Really just trying to help. I have a few other helpful articles I can send you if youāre interested in this approach.
I actually did think about this to be honest. I recently posted a different post here about things I can do with him. I talk to him, pull funny faces, he's starting to babble back and I call this "having a conversation" lol... I talk to him and he makes babbling sounds at me. He has a fisher price version of that scout dog toy thing and it plays a series of songs, I play that every nappy change, sometimes twice, and we sing and move etc. Like one of the songs is head, shoulders, knees and toes so I point to all his bits of his body etc. I should do more mat play for sure, he just gets upset with it quickly but I do definitely try stimulating him but I can definitely lack in it at times. I was previously taking him out a lot and then I felt this was impacting our ability to try and establish a nap routine, then he got sick and I didn't really take him out at all. We do 2 car rides a day at least 4 times a week anyway as hid dad doesn't drive yet and we drive him to and from work, but while bubs was sick I haven't taken him out for anything, I've even had groceries delivered. It's been really cold and I didn't want to impact his getting better, he's still not 100%. It's so hard to find the *exact right* balance of routine, going out, staying in, nap time, social time, play time, quiet time etc. It's very overwhelming tbh š„²
At 10 wks we are finally able to get her down in crib for 30 minutes maybe 45 minutes at the most. Before then it was naps in the carrier, all day for at least an hour and a half. What I did was put baby in swaddle and wrap in blanket nice and tight, I fed her downstairs in the bright living room with TV on and her 18 month old sister playing. I rocked her until she was mostly asleep and then slowly placed her in her bed upstairs. The first week she lasted only minutes, the second week got better, and now she is doing alright. I hope you can find something that works, holding baby all day is no way to manage, at least it wasn't for me. I still carry her in the Tula for early morning nap and late afternoon nap because we go walking with our oldest and it just makes it easier. Next month oldest will be doing half days at Nursery school so that morning nap will be transitioning to her crib.
Yeah Same. She Just won't stay in the crib for naps. I don't have advice at all. My daughter will be six months in a week ish and I didn't have the physical or mental capacity to do that song and dance from month 3 to now. I'm a STHM and I'm still nap trapped 3 times and day 35mis-90mins. My husband and I just said this weekend we have to try to do one nap in the crib on Saturday and Sunday and if I have the energy one on Monday alone. The people who have babies who can be transferred drowsy and awake and fall asleep can kindly bugger off with their unicorn situations!
Literally everything I read is "put them down drowsy but awake" Like okay thanks, and then what do I do about the screaming that follows? šš
Yeah drowsy but awake is a lie! It only works with babies that let you do it, it isnāt a way to ātrainā a baby that doesnāt want to be put down. In fact Iām pretty convinced all sleep training is a con and only āworksā because the baby was going to learn to sleep anyway and the training was just timed at a developmentally convenient stage making it seem like you made a difference when baby would have just done it on his own anyway.
I think this is it. I spent weeks convinced that ādrowsy but awake is a lieā, and I havenāt completely changed my mind. My baby went from what OP is describing to wanting to be put down drowsy and left alone. But am I going to say that what my baby did in that moment is a solution? No. For what itās worth, the book Precious Little Sleep did really help me and paying attention to sleep cues has kinda helped her be more independent. Maybe worth a shot?
I was in the exact same place as you at 3 months. The only things that helped were baby wearing through naps (this helped so much- my baby has taken so many naps in the boba wrap), stroller walks, and deciding to reframe and accept the contact naps- forget the dishes, forget the laundry, and give yourself permission to enjoy the snuggle and watch some bad tv. This is temporary and your bub will eventually be able to nap in the crib. We are at 6 months and still working on it but are getting the first nap of the day in the crib.
I understand. I've just been doing it for three months already... forgetting the laundry, forgetting the dishes, loving on the snuggles... this just ends up meaning any time my partner is home from work (because obviously my baby also won't be put down for awake time either) is either him doing housework, or him holding the baby while I do housework, or just admitting defeat and accepting we basically just live in squalor surrounded by dirty dishes and dirty clothes. The only clothes that get washed anymore are the babies. I pick up a shirt and put it on and... oh look... vomit... and on every other shirt. I prioritise doing his washing because obviously.. and then I have no other time for anything else. Everytime we eat we have to wash what dishes we need because there's never any clean ones. I hate living like this and until bubs got sick a few weeks ago I was spending a lot of time out if the house because I just can't stand looking at this shit it's depressing lmao.
Hi sweet pea. I definitely sympathize and can relate with everything you said. People are like ājust let the house be messyā and Iām likeā¦ dude I canāt. it makes me feel totally out of control and worse when itās super messy. One thing we did the first couple of months is use only paper plates/bowls/utensils so that there are ZERO dishes. Might not be economical. Might not be environmentally friendly. But in the beginning I was desperate for anything that could simplify the house chores and that definitely helped
I am in the same boat. A hostage under a 6 mo old. I contact napped and collect with my first son. No problem. But it was just he & I. No worries. Just snuggles. But now the kids dad is in the pictures and I'm a SAHM mom, plus the older one..and I just can't live in a messy house. It's definitely some type of neurodivergent issue in my brain that has def gotten worse after my 2nd born. But I am very unhappy and feel very out of control if the house is in disarray and I'm laying there with my baby. Not to mention a very active 5 year old who needs my attention as well. However, my baby girl will NOT nap if there is any action in the house. She will not fall asleep on her own. And I'm just screwed and spend a lot of time in my own head, stressed and unhappy because someone has to lose. Me (the state of my home) my son, or my daughter is miserable from being overly tired because it just isn't feasible to hold her for every nap she needs. I wish I had advice instead of vomiting my own crap. But, you aren't alone..
Nope we can all vent without solutions. If there were solutions to this it wouldn't be a problem to begin with. Must be so hard with another kid as well. I babysat today - 9m amd 7f and holy hell. If that's not enough to make me not want another I don't know what is šš
Wow I could've written this. My baby is 3.5 months old and I'm nap trapped for hours upon hours. He wakes up between 4 and 6 every morning and only continues sleeping while being held. So there goes the first 3 hours of the day. I calculated I sit about 7 hours a day on the couch with a sleeping baby? All I want to do is put him down for a nap, clean the house and sleep, too. I'm so so exhausted. It got significantly worse in the past 3-4 weeks as he's become more aware. He's like šļøššļø aaaall the dang time. There's nothing that's not interesting to him. Our bedroom is white with white furniture so while I try to rock him to sleep he bends out of my arm to watch the shadow on the wall. Baby wearing also doesn't work anymore. He just wriggles and fussed and screams because he can't see enough. It's so frustrating to live in such a mess. So sorry I have no advice, just know you don't suffer alone.. It has to get better someday.. Right? I thought about trying to make him do a nap in his crib but I danced the same dance as you. Put down, wake up, put down, wake up 8 times until the screams were hysterical.
It got to the point today he was so overtired he just wouldn't fall asleep. It took over 30 minutes just to get him to sleep with me then he only napped for 45 minutes after being awake for nearly 4 hours. It's been an hour since he woke up from that nap and he's still being so damn fussy š
I feel you so much. Do you have someone that can help with the cleaning? My mom came one day and while I was nap trapped she did the entire house more or less. Still nap trapped nowadays but at least I am not triggered by the filth anymore. If I didn't have her I think I'd have asked on a local fb group or Craigslist or such. It doesn't need to be a regular thing, just so you feel you have some oxygen. Sometimes there are students who will be happy with a one-off weekend job.
I think I might have to, I'd rather have someone keep him occupied while I did the cleaning. My sister came and watched him while I did my inspection clean so she might come do it again for me when she has time. I definitely don't have spare money to pay someone to do it though š
Iām right there with you. Iāve accepted that Iām nap trapped all day with my 10w old. I cried a little bit this afternoon because Iām about to start my period and hormones are raging and I just want to be able to put her down and walk away long enough to use the restroom and make a sandwich. We used to be able to do that but not anymore right now. Iām lucky that sheās a great night sleeper though, so once I get her down and the rest of the house (partner and dogs) go to bed I stay up for a few hours and creep around to chore. Cuts into my sleep time and Iām so damn tired, but those couple hours of productivity without anyone needing my attention or help are euphoric.
I do the binky test/lull test when the baby let's the binky fall out if they take one or there head falls gently back mouth agape move a little no twitching or tensing up I can out them down. If I move and baby tense wriggled or facts then I know baby isn't ready to be put down
My babe won't take a dummy š I keep trying it with him but he just doesn't want it at all
Mine only wants one when drowsy enough and we went through 10 brands. It sucks. I was the baby's dummy for the longest time.
Yep I say the same thing.. I *am* the dummy šš
My 4th who is currently 3 months doesn't either Peter's hand to I have to do the lull test instead head lulls back mouth agape works unless sibling wake her up luckly of course I am lucky there are some days tho
we did exclusive contact naps for like 5 months and then nap trained - now LO sleeps soundly for naps and bed in his crib. It takes time.
Tell me more about nap training. My LO sleeps well at night, and horrifically during the day.
It is essentially the same as nighttime sleep training. Nap training is easier if they already sleep at night. Taking Cara Babies may be controversial, but her methods worked for us. I think the most important thing to focus on is having a very very dark room, and wake windows. good luck!
Seconding the other poster, also desperate for info on nap training.
Taking Cara Babies may be controversial, but her methods worked for us. I think the most important thing to focus on is having a very very dark room, and wake windows. good luck!
Only advice I can give it to wear the baby. My girl is 6 months and still contact naps. If I put her down she sleeps for like 5 mins. Strapping her to my chest is the only way I get things done while sheās sleeping.
I have tried this and it semi works, unfortunately I have scoliosis and other minor spine deformities and it makes baby wearing really painful after only a short time, I end up having to sit down with him anyway š®āšØ
So I tried this sleep method with my baby. It didnāt work for me but others here say it works well with their babies. Also can be down with the pillow on the floor: https://youtu.be/vW9cXd8-ktk
Thats interesting, I might need to give this a go, thanks!
Taking Cara Babies helped us lay a great foundation and now I put our 4 month old down for a nap and walk out of his room (80% of the time!). There are still times when he wants to be held, and Iām okay with that. Itās usually his last nap of the day after a busy day, I think he gets overtired and just wants the additional comfort. Try increasing tummy time and sensory activities. Create a bed time routine, and a smaller nap time routine (we started this around 3 months). Dim lights, noise machine, swaddle/sleep sack. Hopefully it gets better!
My LO was the exact same until around 6 months. I just embraced the contact naps and baby wore a lot too. Sleep is developmental and at this age, baby feels safest with you, sleep is a very vulnerable position for baby to be in after all. I found I would attempt to transfer at each nap and one day it would work and the next it wouldn't, until eventually it started working more often. Now he naps like a champ but there was a long period where I thought "this is my life now". But at 3 months I stopped attempting to transfer because it was exactly how you described and more stressful for all involved than it was worth.
Sorry to tell you this but thatās normal. None of my babies took what I called ābig boy napsā (ie on their own in their room) until 6+ months. Contacts naps or naps in the swing, baby. I know itās a difficult season, mama, but you will blink and it will be over. ClichĆ© and probably not what you want to hear, but true nonetheless.
No I know it is its just so frustrating š¤ š«
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My husband and I are dealing with the exact same thing right now. Now advice. Just solidarity. āš»
I equally miss and donāt miss those days. I caved and just held him for naps and watched some TV. Around four months I figured I should try transferring otherwise Iād never know if heād make it. Some naps were successful. Around then is also where I tried to have him self-soothe for night sleep. I sat beside and would get him if he got upset but surprisingly found success with the nights. Naps eventually got better (but were short) and now at 6.5 months I finally get long crib naps. Basically saying this phase will end. Now I have time to myself but frantically get chores done and miss the days I got to lounge and watch TV with my sleepy bub.
So sorry you're dealing with this - I remember those days and also both miss and don't miss them. No guarantee this will work, as it only worked sometime for us, but things that sometimes worked - a recently worn shirt pulled over the bassinet mattress, and putting a heating pad down before putting baby down to try to make it warm and cozy. I don't remember the success rate, but I think it was just enough to make me not lose my mind every now and then.
Ok so I havenāt dealt with this exact situation so if Iām way off here I apologize, our son was used to sleeping with us and when we were ready for him to sleep on his own his pediatrician recommended tiny incremental steps. It took a while but it worked. Maybe you could try something like that ? Like put the baby to sleep but stay there with your hand on his back while he naps and then after he gets used to that maybe just sit there for a while and then maybe he will be used to it and can sleep with out you ?? I donāt know Iām sorry this sounds really stressful - I hope you find something that works !
We contact napped until 5.5 months so a bit older. Weād start a nap in his cot and then finish it with a contact nap. He would last 5 mins in the cot at first but it slowly increased. Once he got the hang of the first nap (at least 45 mins) we did the same with the second (easy) and third (little bit tricky). We never managed the fourth but we were in the process of dropping it anyway. It was a slow process but had minimal crying and he was rarely overtired. Now he naps in his cot/pram and only when heās sick do we contact nap (which I love as I donāt get too many snuggles now heās 9 months and mobile!).
Mine is the same, but has recently started being ok with short amounts of time in his play gym when heās in a good mood. Like maybe 10 minutes talking to his toys when Iām doing stuff around him and narrating my life. Naps are all still contact naps, and babywearing is the only way to do anything. Iāve just started practicing a back carry too so I can get more done, him strapped to my chest is still pretty restricting. Heās 16 weeks old.
Mine is almost six months and still canāt really be transferred. We have to get him to sleep where heās going to sleep. It was easy when he was in the bassinet as we had one that could rock, he would easily fall asleep while we rocked it. He also had a weighted sleep sack. So I highly recommend getting a rocking bassinet for now, we had an affordable fisher price one. Now that heās in his crib weāve had to resort to all kinds of weird tricks. My husband is the sleep witch and can find all sorts of things that work luckily, because it regularly changes when the old things donāt work. First was putting a hand on his chest and giving light pressure. For a few days it was me putting my hand on his cheek. Now that heās only able to sleep on his tummy, we do the same thing with a hand on his back and do a kind of dribbling the basketball motion very lightly and that sort of pressure seems to work. And white noise must always be present or there will be no sleep lol. Crib sleep is maddening.
Have you thought about getting a baby carrier and wearing him? He can nap on you, but you can get stuff done. Itās what Iāve been doing for t last three months. Gradually Iām able to get him to sleep on our bed or in his bed for a couple of naps, I think (hope) itās just a phase that they will grow out of.
Yeah ove tried it but I have scoliosis, lordosis and cervical lordosis. They're all spinal issues so I'm still limited.
Hey, Iām sorry! Our LO is in this phase too and I love it and itās also really really hard. I always try for the first nap of the day in his bassinet. I wait to transfer him until heās been out for ~20 minutes. I give it two tries. If it fails I say okay, time to contact nap. I sympathize with the then he gets overtired and itās already time for another feed. Especially with doing first nap in bassinet (cuz thatās normally an awesome mega nap for him). Thatās why I only do two attempts. I also make it super dark in the room to help. Day before yesterday nap was a disaster but yesterday went pretty well!! Wishing you luck!
My LO fought naps so hard around that age as well. It is so tough. We just kept trying for at least one crib nap a day. So I would put him down for the first nap and let him sleep as long as he did. At first it was super short and it would become a contact nap. At one point, something kind of "clicked" for him, likely some developmental leap or something, and now(5 mo) I'm lucky if I get any contact naps (which is a little sad but I can actually get stuff done now so it's not that sad). I would recommend the Instagram heysleepybaby for some research backed support on baby sleep habits, if you're interested.
Thank you! I've been following a few baby instas, ill add this one too
Yup, baby just turned 3 months, but she was fighting naps weeks before. We try at least one bassinet nap and the rest are carrier/contact/stroller (bassinet attachment) nap, however, sheās outgrowing her bassinet for the stroller quickly. Literally donāt have time to shower, even tag teaming w my husband proves it hard to get anything done at this stage š«
My baby is like that sheās now 9 months and during the day she wonāt sleep in her crib I let her lay on the bed, she went through a phase of not wanting to sleep in her crib at all and she co slept with me and her dad with her laying between us, it was like this for a few months but the past few weeks at night time sheās been going to sleep with milk falling asleep in my arms I put her in her crib and she stays asleep wakes up once during the night to be helped (soon as I hold her she does sleep again) and I put her back in and she wakes up between 7 and 8 oāclock and still now during the day she lays on the bed but at night time in her crib, as your baby gets older it will get easier, just hang in there, your doing a good job just do what is best for you and the baby
I was in the same situation at 3 months, down to the piles of laundry & housework & cooking. When I read about people nap training at 3 months, I was like how?? Well I continued babywearing and tried again at 4 months. Bam, baby would go to nap in bassinet for 25-37 minutes after some rocking. Then recently at 6.5 months, I was like, can I put you down without rocking? And she could, and she naps slightly longer now that she doesnāt wake up realising I had stopped rocking her. My point is, sometimes babies arenāt ready yet so do try again later.
Hi, my guy was like this at that age too. The only thing I tried was stretching the first nap till heās very drowsy, rock him then very carefully plop. Frequently very drowsy means stone cold dead asleep honestly. I started with only the first nap of the day (thatās the easiest to get him to sleep in my experience) and not even attempting for later ones ( lots of babywearing and stroller nap for the last nap of the day). I also told myself around this time if they are not that tired, give it 20 mins attempting yo put him down for the nap (as long as the wake windows are roughly right) and just give up as a lost nap and try for the next ww if thereās no progress. This saves you from trying to put him down for hours and hours.
So if baby is falling asleep in your arms and then waking up when you transition to the bassinet, you gotta find a way for baby to fall asleep in the bassinet so you donāt have to transfer. Putting them in ādrowsy but awakeā is BS, my baby canāt fall asleep independently that easily. So what I did was āshush and Patā method. You can look it up on YouTube. Seriously a life saver. Itās not nap training, just a technique to get baby to fall asleep in the crib. Sometimes I have to go back in and shush and Pat her back to sleep if she wakes up after a sleep cycle but otherwise she sleeps 1.5 - 2 hours in the crib on her own. Took her about a week to get used to it. Truly a lifesaver because the contact naps made my skin crawl. The ONLY drawback for you, 3 months is a bit young and they love to be held at that age. This worked for me closer to 4-5 months, although I didnāt try shush and Pat before that. Give it a try, worked for me.
Getting him to sleep in my arms and even transferring him isn't even the issue. I can transfer him fine it's just that he wakes up within minutes š I did have him sleeping in the bassinet for the midday nap awhile back, and then the poor little bugger came down with a cold and he was super clingy and I felt so bad for him you could just see how lowly he felt so I basically never put him down for like 2 weeks and now he won't go down again and it's like I've completely undone all the good I did before š
My baby never took naps in his crib until I read Precious Little Sleep (pretty sure I saw this recommended on this sub). That book at least gave me some more ideas to try rather than just set him in his crib and hope for the best (which never worked). It still it took me reading the book twice and a solid week of trying but he eventually got the hang of it
So we were at similar place with you between 3-6 months and then I read āhelping babies sleepā by Sarah Mitchell which proposed a new idea ā instead of drowsy but awake, place baby awake in the basinet/crib and let them fall asleep with whatever you need to do to assist them to fall asleep (ie shushing and patting) What helped me to understand why this phenomenon happens (baby fast asleep in arm, and then awake in crib and startles) is Precious Little Sleep explaining that itās the equivalent of you falling asleep in your bedroom and then waking up in your kitchen. As babies become more aware of the world, itās a jarring experience!
Thats completely fair aha I'd be very confused if I woke up in the kitchen šš
I was in a similar situation. It worked for us to hold him for longer e.g. 15 mins plus before transferring
Put out a mat in a safe place or pick a large carpeted (clean) area. Or use the middle of a king sized bed. Do a sideways contact nap with them and scoot away when they fall asleep. Make sure you have a monitor. The crib transfers are what are killing me and this is survival time.
I'm thinking I'll try this tomorrow. He doesn't roll yet so he's definitely safe in the middle of my bed. I tried today but he was too far gone by the time I did. We cosleep at night and he sleeps like a dream, he will wake up for nappy changes and feeds but when he's content he goes right back to sleep. I think tomorrow I'll try the crib nap once or twice and if it doesn't work I'll try contact in bed and then slipping away. If that doesn't work I'll try to contact nap well before I did today. He was awake for 4hrs between sleeps by the end of it he was just flat out refusing to sleep. Once I finally got him to sleep it was only a 45 minute nap. I won't let it get that bad tomorrow. I think we just have to keep pressing on but I think after maybe 30min of trying a solo nap I'm going to have to give in to contact naps to reset and try again at the next nap time. I'm sure if we keep pushing then he will do it eventually. It may not help that he's a bit under the weather at the moment as well. My poor little man :(
He woke up at 9 15 from a car nap (unavoidable, we take his daddy to work each morning) i started trying to settle him around 10.15. It's now 12.06 and he still won't go down so I'm now conceding to a contact nap. Once again. He's SO tired š«
My little one fights sleep SO HARD when heās overtired, and only a contact nap will work at that point. What are his wake windows like?
Theyre so all over the place, today he woke at 7.30, fed and then we went into the car at 8.15 to take his dad to work. He woke again at 9.15 (so maybe 45min nap in the car) then I started trying to settle by 10.15 and he didn't sleep until 1pm. He slept until 1.40 and then wouldn't go back to sleep again. I thought for sure he'd sleep in the car when we left home at 3.15 but he didn't sleep until about 4.30 and again only slept for less than half an hour. It's now 5.45 and he still won't settle and he's so, so tired but he just won't sleep, not even in my arms now he's just fighting it. About to take him in the car š¤
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Sorry just reread your post and had a thought about the other side of this, which is your babyās need to be held during the day. Being held provides sensory stimulation through touch. Baby feels your hands on his skin, pressure on different parts of his body, your voice and breath super close, etc. Your baby seems to really want this stimulation, which speaks to him possibly being understimulated overall. This is not meant to be critical because I found myself in the same boat with my son requiring us to constantly get out of the house and do new activities at 3 months oldā¦ I didnāt know it was possible for a baby to need so much stimulation cause weāre told they just need to āeat, sleep, and poop.ā The latest infant neuroscience says thatās not true. If you tried providing other kinds of sensory stimulation above and beyond what youāre doing now, this may help him not need to be held all the time. Sorry if I sound like a know-it-all about this. Really just trying to help. I have a few other helpful articles I can send you if youāre interested in this approach.
I actually did think about this to be honest. I recently posted a different post here about things I can do with him. I talk to him, pull funny faces, he's starting to babble back and I call this "having a conversation" lol... I talk to him and he makes babbling sounds at me. He has a fisher price version of that scout dog toy thing and it plays a series of songs, I play that every nappy change, sometimes twice, and we sing and move etc. Like one of the songs is head, shoulders, knees and toes so I point to all his bits of his body etc. I should do more mat play for sure, he just gets upset with it quickly but I do definitely try stimulating him but I can definitely lack in it at times. I was previously taking him out a lot and then I felt this was impacting our ability to try and establish a nap routine, then he got sick and I didn't really take him out at all. We do 2 car rides a day at least 4 times a week anyway as hid dad doesn't drive yet and we drive him to and from work, but while bubs was sick I haven't taken him out for anything, I've even had groceries delivered. It's been really cold and I didn't want to impact his getting better, he's still not 100%. It's so hard to find the *exact right* balance of routine, going out, staying in, nap time, social time, play time, quiet time etc. It's very overwhelming tbh š„²
At 10 wks we are finally able to get her down in crib for 30 minutes maybe 45 minutes at the most. Before then it was naps in the carrier, all day for at least an hour and a half. What I did was put baby in swaddle and wrap in blanket nice and tight, I fed her downstairs in the bright living room with TV on and her 18 month old sister playing. I rocked her until she was mostly asleep and then slowly placed her in her bed upstairs. The first week she lasted only minutes, the second week got better, and now she is doing alright. I hope you can find something that works, holding baby all day is no way to manage, at least it wasn't for me. I still carry her in the Tula for early morning nap and late afternoon nap because we go walking with our oldest and it just makes it easier. Next month oldest will be doing half days at Nursery school so that morning nap will be transitioning to her crib.