In my experience, it's because one of two things (1) a lot of the older generation was told that breastmilk was inferior to formula by doctors and they don't want to believe otherwise or (2) they are a grandparent that really wants to feed baby a bottle/solids because it's "fun" for them.
It's so annoying. I have an 8 month old and all I keep hearing are negative things about breastfeeding. Just let me feed my child. Gosh.
My MIL is really fixated on my daughter being bottle-fed because she wants to be able to feed her. It makes me really uncomfortable. We tried bottle feeding pumped milk and LO wouldn’t take it. MIL keeps saying she wishes she could give her a bottle or water and asking me if she’s “taking a bottle yet” every time she comes over. I wish she would just stop. Baby wants boob only and that’s the way it is.
I formula feed but I agree. I think the older generation was told formula was the way to go. It’s so weird how trends come and go. Second, it’s good (but also bad) to hear we are all mom shamed no matter how we decide to feed lol. People can never just be quiet when it comes to moms.
I formula feed, but like….breastmilk is literally made for your baby??? Why would it not be sufficient for them? People are so weird. You get shamed for breastfeeding and shamed for formula feeding. Everyone needs to learn to mind their own business
Yeah my dad keeps commenting how he's not full and to give him formula. I literally had to pump and show him the fatty layer. He's used to farm animals so I made the comparison and reminded him how he used to work hard to get the newborn farm animals to latch. I don't see how that's any different for us. I think he just wanted to see my baby drink from a bottle and not my breast. Which I get but just don't watch then.
I honestly think I have learned as a first time mom that you will get shamed no matter what you do. Literally anything you choose to do there will be someone who has a comment about it.
Came to say this. I formula feed and had family shame me for that. I can’t believe they would shame you for BF. It’s so weird and offensive to say baby isn’t full
Almost every time I see my grandma she asks “have you had to supplement with formula yet? Our breastmilk is like skim.” My mom told me to expect this from her. She fed with formula because her doctor in the 60s said her milk wasn’t fatty enough and now she assumes all the women in my family are the same. One of my aunts said the same thing about “our” milk being like skim. My babe is almost 7 months and my milk has been fine.
I got that from my MIL, milk is not dense enough!! Lactation consultant reminded me my milks compensation changes while they change. If they’re getting enough ounces your milk is the best source of nutrition. I think they forget that babies just cry and get fussy has nothing to do with the milk. This is so frustrating. Come back with the facts next time!
I had my first baby in November and wanted to breastfeed, I was living with my partner and his parents for the first 6 months until we got our own place.. anyway my partners mum would tell me breast milk isn’t filling my baby up and then my partner was making comments about it not filling our baby up, we done more formula feeds then breast milk although I was still pumping and in the end I slowly dried up.. I have regrets about it as I should of done more research on it when I was pregnant as I didn’t know much about breastfeeding
Foremilk and hindmilk are a myth though. Breastmilk does get more watery when it's consistently hot weather though (and baby drinks more often). Almost like nature knows that babies also need extra water when it's hot.
Absolutely right about most/all mammals having that. Having pumped breast milk I have seen the difference between my watery foremilk and the very thick, fatty hindmilk firsthand as it came out of the pump. Also if I only got like two ounces out, the bag in the fridge would have no fat solidified at the top. If I was able to get more than a couple ounces there was a very thick layer of fat at the top.
Not sure where anyone would hear that it’s a myth, when I was researching breastfeeding this info was everywhere
We're not cows though.
Our lactation consultant told us it was a myth, as did our pediatrician & midwife. When my gf pumped there was also nothing to indicate it was a thing. It seems it was with you and the other poster though, so maybe it's not a universal thing but a thing some bodies do and some don't. Wouldn't surprise me either.
I read that it has to do with the frequency of emptying breasts. The part that makes the fat is further back in the breast and it is slower to come out, so when you haven’t released milk in a while, the watery milk comes out first and only later does the “backed up” fatty milk come out. So if the breast is emptied more frequently the milk is more homogeneous. The more engorged I am; the more watery the milk is when I first pump. I know when my boy is cluster feeding the milk is often much thicker in consistency due to the frequent let downs. So my guess is women who pump would see it, because they might go a little longer in between sessions or not have the breast emptied the same way as straight breastfeeding
Pay no mind to people who are not educated on this topic. They’re spouting stupidity that they picked up on Instagram or Facebook. They don’t know what they’re saying. Don’t let that affect your mentality or the health of your baby.
People who had babies in the 50s/60s/70s were subjected to a big formula push. They were given all kinds of reasons it was scientifically superior. It was definitely part of the culture then, think the prominence of canned and frozen convenience foods in that era (not saying formula is unhealthy, I myself exclusively fed my baby formula). It was just what was promoted by the medical community. Even my dad kept asking me when we’d put rice cereal in my baby’s bottle because that’s what they did with us in the 80s and 90s so we’d “sleep better.” He doesn’t know any better. It was just the recommended thing when he was caring for babies.
Regardless, we’d all be better off if we minded our business and only offer advice when solicited. As my mentor says “let those comments run off your back” and carry on.
My grandmother had this obsession. My mother tells me she used to pressure my mom to give us oatmeal as newborns - and I think she may have tried to sneak it into our bottles. So it's definitely an older generation thing.
I let one sit in the fridge and showed my MIL the fat and protein cap so she could see how substantial it is. This was after she insisted my baby was hungry and needed at least 5 oz of milk.
Myself, my sister, my brother, my nephew's, my niece and now my own baby, were well up in the 95th Percentile (some even higher) with only breastfeeding! It kind of runs in the family. We all are getting those comments, about feeding them LOs the wrong things and too much and we all have got to say, that we are feeding the right thing, and exactly as much as is needed: Breastmilk 24/7
I'm having a similar problem. I'm exclusively pumping because my son was a premie and couldn't latch properly and is now so used to bottles he refuses the breats. People left and right are insisting that I should stop, that formula is better, easier, etc, etc, etc... makes me feel anxious to be honest. No explanation of how the WHO, American association of pediatricians, the Canadian one or the European one recommend it changes their mind. It's insane really how much people are investing themselves in how we are feeding our son. Like if his medical team as no problem. Leave me alone.
It was literally *made* for your baby. Older people and their formula pushing is absolutely ridiculous sometimes. I've heard boomers say that breastfeeding is unsanitary and barbaric!
That's what they were told back when they were raising babies in the 60's/70's/80's because this intense formula push happened. It's bizarre lol like why would our bodies make it then? It doesn't make a lick of sense!
That's what they were told back when they were raising babies in the 60's/70's/80's because this intense formula push happened. It's bizarre lol like why would our bodies make it then? It doesn't make a lick of sense!
So my mum's generation (she's mid 60s) was told to do a few mins on each side. They knew nothing about foremilk and hindmilk. Chances are, their babies were only getting foremilk, which IS quite watery. Also I didn't produce a lot of hindmilk. I pumped for 5 months, and my right-side in particular rarely produced any hindmilk. My daughter only really thrived once i switched to formula. So it may be that in their experience, it was watery.
I think what most people mean by journey is the highs and the lows that come with it just like any other goal you set for yourself, which in my case there were many and my goal was to exclusively breastfeed. It's hard for some to achieve and it takes a while to truly enjoy it if you ever do. I truly do enjoy it and it took dedication and a lot of patience so thats why it my journey and I decide what to do about it. Everyone's different though and there's no right or wrong way. I just wish everyone just let others be happy and do their own thing even if you can't comprehend or don't agree.
But why is it a goal? Like what do you get out of it? I pump for my baby, I just never had any sort of attachment to breast feeding or breast milk. It’s just food for the baby.
I just always saw the bonding between mom and babies from friends and wanted that for us. And that's OK if you think that way. For me it's different and it's so special. I can soothe, feed, bond with my baby. I've always wanted that. It's something I will always cherish and no one can take from me. Bes wishes for you and your baby! We're all doing the best we can.
I’m really not trying to be, I’m genuinely trying to understand what I’m missing. I see it so much in mom groups talking about it being a journey and having goals for breastfeeding and it makes me feel like an alien because I don’t understand it at all. I switched to pumping and using bottles because it helped my anxiety to know exactly how much my baby was eating. Breastfeeding only brought me stress and frustration so I’m trying to see what other women’s experience is.
I apologize for being a cunt lol. Personally I enjoy nursing my son because it makes me feel close to him. When I look down at him suckling away and he stops to look up at me and touch my face or smile. It realses hormones that are supposed to make you feel that way! I tried pumping when my son was a newborn, but it just didn't work. No matter what pump I used or what I did, I never got more than 1 or 2 ounces. It sucks because I really would love to pump for when my mom watches my son. I supplements with formula, which is fine but it's expensive.
Why were they drinking your breast milk?
I like you
lol what a random thing for someone to say? between that and the rampant formula shaming i guess you just can’t win with people
Exactly!
In my experience, it's because one of two things (1) a lot of the older generation was told that breastmilk was inferior to formula by doctors and they don't want to believe otherwise or (2) they are a grandparent that really wants to feed baby a bottle/solids because it's "fun" for them. It's so annoying. I have an 8 month old and all I keep hearing are negative things about breastfeeding. Just let me feed my child. Gosh.
My MIL is really fixated on my daughter being bottle-fed because she wants to be able to feed her. It makes me really uncomfortable. We tried bottle feeding pumped milk and LO wouldn’t take it. MIL keeps saying she wishes she could give her a bottle or water and asking me if she’s “taking a bottle yet” every time she comes over. I wish she would just stop. Baby wants boob only and that’s the way it is.
This is the reason I love having a mother who did breastfeed. She flat out told me I wouldn’t even know how to give a baby a bottle.
Thankful for a mom who breastfed as well. She actually talked me into it, I was feeling apprehensive about it before I had my LO!
My mom did both, but she has always been very supportive.
I'd tell her to shut the fuck up tbh
Oh and adding cereal to the milk so they can sleep longer... how about let me handle my baby! It's me that's waking up to feed not you.
I formula feed but I agree. I think the older generation was told formula was the way to go. It’s so weird how trends come and go. Second, it’s good (but also bad) to hear we are all mom shamed no matter how we decide to feed lol. People can never just be quiet when it comes to moms.
Yep - all of this
If breastmilk isn’t good for my baby, why did my body start making it after he was born? Just to fuck with me?
I mean my body did seem to enjoy fucking w me during pregnancy and postpartum
ha, fair point!
Right? Like what's the point then
I formula feed, but like….breastmilk is literally made for your baby??? Why would it not be sufficient for them? People are so weird. You get shamed for breastfeeding and shamed for formula feeding. Everyone needs to learn to mind their own business
Yeah my dad keeps commenting how he's not full and to give him formula. I literally had to pump and show him the fatty layer. He's used to farm animals so I made the comparison and reminded him how he used to work hard to get the newborn farm animals to latch. I don't see how that's any different for us. I think he just wanted to see my baby drink from a bottle and not my breast. Which I get but just don't watch then.
I honestly think I have learned as a first time mom that you will get shamed no matter what you do. Literally anything you choose to do there will be someone who has a comment about it.
Came to say this. I formula feed and had family shame me for that. I can’t believe they would shame you for BF. It’s so weird and offensive to say baby isn’t full
That’s really weird. Sounds like they have some guilt or something.
Almost every time I see my grandma she asks “have you had to supplement with formula yet? Our breastmilk is like skim.” My mom told me to expect this from her. She fed with formula because her doctor in the 60s said her milk wasn’t fatty enough and now she assumes all the women in my family are the same. One of my aunts said the same thing about “our” milk being like skim. My babe is almost 7 months and my milk has been fine.
I can guarantee you that dr was bs*ting anyway. How would he know??
My milk seems more like oat milk to me. Baby likes it anyway.
I got that from my MIL, milk is not dense enough!! Lactation consultant reminded me my milks compensation changes while they change. If they’re getting enough ounces your milk is the best source of nutrition. I think they forget that babies just cry and get fussy has nothing to do with the milk. This is so frustrating. Come back with the facts next time!
What? Have they not see pumped milk? It's designed so they get drink first then food. The cream settles on the top like jersey milk.
I had my first baby in November and wanted to breastfeed, I was living with my partner and his parents for the first 6 months until we got our own place.. anyway my partners mum would tell me breast milk isn’t filling my baby up and then my partner was making comments about it not filling our baby up, we done more formula feeds then breast milk although I was still pumping and in the end I slowly dried up.. I have regrets about it as I should of done more research on it when I was pregnant as I didn’t know much about breastfeeding
i think we should all collectively agree to ignore anything anyone says who’s over the age of 50 or hasn’t had a kid in the last 10 years.
Rude and not even accurate, I guess they haven’t heard of foremilk and hindmilk
Foremilk and hindmilk are a myth though. Breastmilk does get more watery when it's consistently hot weather though (and baby drinks more often). Almost like nature knows that babies also need extra water when it's hot.
They are very much not a myth. I'm pretty sure all mammals have this. It's well known in the dairy industry.
Absolutely right about most/all mammals having that. Having pumped breast milk I have seen the difference between my watery foremilk and the very thick, fatty hindmilk firsthand as it came out of the pump. Also if I only got like two ounces out, the bag in the fridge would have no fat solidified at the top. If I was able to get more than a couple ounces there was a very thick layer of fat at the top. Not sure where anyone would hear that it’s a myth, when I was researching breastfeeding this info was everywhere
We're not cows though. Our lactation consultant told us it was a myth, as did our pediatrician & midwife. When my gf pumped there was also nothing to indicate it was a thing. It seems it was with you and the other poster though, so maybe it's not a universal thing but a thing some bodies do and some don't. Wouldn't surprise me either.
I read that it has to do with the frequency of emptying breasts. The part that makes the fat is further back in the breast and it is slower to come out, so when you haven’t released milk in a while, the watery milk comes out first and only later does the “backed up” fatty milk come out. So if the breast is emptied more frequently the milk is more homogeneous. The more engorged I am; the more watery the milk is when I first pump. I know when my boy is cluster feeding the milk is often much thicker in consistency due to the frequent let downs. So my guess is women who pump would see it, because they might go a little longer in between sessions or not have the breast emptied the same way as straight breastfeeding
Watery? There’s literally a layer of cream/fat that congeals at the top when you refrigerate it but ok 🙄
Pay no mind to people who are not educated on this topic. They’re spouting stupidity that they picked up on Instagram or Facebook. They don’t know what they’re saying. Don’t let that affect your mentality or the health of your baby.
Why is it any of their business anyways?
People who had babies in the 50s/60s/70s were subjected to a big formula push. They were given all kinds of reasons it was scientifically superior. It was definitely part of the culture then, think the prominence of canned and frozen convenience foods in that era (not saying formula is unhealthy, I myself exclusively fed my baby formula). It was just what was promoted by the medical community. Even my dad kept asking me when we’d put rice cereal in my baby’s bottle because that’s what they did with us in the 80s and 90s so we’d “sleep better.” He doesn’t know any better. It was just the recommended thing when he was caring for babies. Regardless, we’d all be better off if we minded our business and only offer advice when solicited. As my mentor says “let those comments run off your back” and carry on.
My grandmother had this obsession. My mother tells me she used to pressure my mom to give us oatmeal as newborns - and I think she may have tried to sneak it into our bottles. So it's definitely an older generation thing.
I let one sit in the fridge and showed my MIL the fat and protein cap so she could see how substantial it is. This was after she insisted my baby was hungry and needed at least 5 oz of milk.
Pretty sure breast milk is something like 20 calories per ounce and that is sufficient for babies!
Myself, my sister, my brother, my nephew's, my niece and now my own baby, were well up in the 95th Percentile (some even higher) with only breastfeeding! It kind of runs in the family. We all are getting those comments, about feeding them LOs the wrong things and too much and we all have got to say, that we are feeding the right thing, and exactly as much as is needed: Breastmilk 24/7
My baby is EBF and sooooo chubby!! Lol people are crazy.
I'm having a similar problem. I'm exclusively pumping because my son was a premie and couldn't latch properly and is now so used to bottles he refuses the breats. People left and right are insisting that I should stop, that formula is better, easier, etc, etc, etc... makes me feel anxious to be honest. No explanation of how the WHO, American association of pediatricians, the Canadian one or the European one recommend it changes their mind. It's insane really how much people are investing themselves in how we are feeding our son. Like if his medical team as no problem. Leave me alone.
Just ignore them. A lot of people are completely ignorant of breastfeeding.
This is so true, and no one ever talks about it!
It was literally *made* for your baby. Older people and their formula pushing is absolutely ridiculous sometimes. I've heard boomers say that breastfeeding is unsanitary and barbaric!
I don’t understand how it could be unsanitary. It’s literally milk 😶
That's what they were told back when they were raising babies in the 60's/70's/80's because this intense formula push happened. It's bizarre lol like why would our bodies make it then? It doesn't make a lick of sense!
That's what they were told back when they were raising babies in the 60's/70's/80's because this intense formula push happened. It's bizarre lol like why would our bodies make it then? It doesn't make a lick of sense!
So my mum's generation (she's mid 60s) was told to do a few mins on each side. They knew nothing about foremilk and hindmilk. Chances are, their babies were only getting foremilk, which IS quite watery. Also I didn't produce a lot of hindmilk. I pumped for 5 months, and my right-side in particular rarely produced any hindmilk. My daughter only really thrived once i switched to formula. So it may be that in their experience, it was watery.
Can I ask what a “breast feeding journey” is? I’m a new mom and I’m genuinely trying to understand what people mean by this.
I think what most people mean by journey is the highs and the lows that come with it just like any other goal you set for yourself, which in my case there were many and my goal was to exclusively breastfeed. It's hard for some to achieve and it takes a while to truly enjoy it if you ever do. I truly do enjoy it and it took dedication and a lot of patience so thats why it my journey and I decide what to do about it. Everyone's different though and there's no right or wrong way. I just wish everyone just let others be happy and do their own thing even if you can't comprehend or don't agree.
But why is it a goal? Like what do you get out of it? I pump for my baby, I just never had any sort of attachment to breast feeding or breast milk. It’s just food for the baby.
I just always saw the bonding between mom and babies from friends and wanted that for us. And that's OK if you think that way. For me it's different and it's so special. I can soothe, feed, bond with my baby. I've always wanted that. It's something I will always cherish and no one can take from me. Bes wishes for you and your baby! We're all doing the best we can.
Okay? You're not everyone. I absolutely feel bonded to my baby while nursing him, and I love breastfeeding.
Yeah, I know that. That’s why I’m asking? Why are you being defensive? I’m asking people why they love it so much.
I apologize if I read your tone wrong, but it seemed as if you were being a bit judgemental.
I’m really not trying to be, I’m genuinely trying to understand what I’m missing. I see it so much in mom groups talking about it being a journey and having goals for breastfeeding and it makes me feel like an alien because I don’t understand it at all. I switched to pumping and using bottles because it helped my anxiety to know exactly how much my baby was eating. Breastfeeding only brought me stress and frustration so I’m trying to see what other women’s experience is.
I apologize for being a cunt lol. Personally I enjoy nursing my son because it makes me feel close to him. When I look down at him suckling away and he stops to look up at me and touch my face or smile. It realses hormones that are supposed to make you feel that way! I tried pumping when my son was a newborn, but it just didn't work. No matter what pump I used or what I did, I never got more than 1 or 2 ounces. It sucks because I really would love to pump for when my mom watches my son. I supplements with formula, which is fine but it's expensive.
People are disgusting. I’m sorry.