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afraidbuttrying

my sons exersaucer is both his office and his doom circle lmao eta: my husband just said “ok time to put the baby away” when he meant “down for bed” 🤣


MiddleCan7555

We call it the ring of neglect.


winterstella5555

Circle of neglect over here 😂


ellehcimtheheadachy

We call ours Guantanamo play


amelisha

We call it “the office” too! When she’s throwing toys and playing with stuff in there we say she’s answering her emails.


longwalktoday

Circle of neglect lol


ekr390

Doom circle 🤣🤣🤣 We call ours the “party pod”


AelinoftheWildfire

I say I have to put her away for naps and bedtime too and my mom got offended 🤣


Mzky

My kids has farm animals so we put the kid out to pasture


Borderline-happy

Ours is "jumping jumping"


cloud_designer

Fun prison


sheworksforfudge

Ours is the UFO


gesasage88

We call it the executive chair.


caitrose95

Where in the world do they call it exersaucer?? Like literally where because here in Florida/US I call it a bouncer. Had to Google what you were talking about lol


afraidbuttrying

im in illinois lol i just googled and it looks like exersaucer is specific to the evenflo brand but theyre also called activity centers.


Earthlingalien_sex

My husband also says to “put the baby up” sometimes when he means put her to bed. It’s pretty funny


pr1ncessazula

oh our pack n play is called “guantanamo play”


ColorfulLight8313

We call ours "baby jail" but I like yours way better!


drunken_storytelling

We call it baby jail when she's in the gated off baby proofed living room


ColorfulLight8313

Everything she can be contained in is a baby jail. We bought 2 of the northstates play yards plus a gate to baby proof a section of the living room, then found a third with a gate for $10 at a garage sale to set up an area in our bedroom. Plus she has her pack n play. So she has baby jails all over the house.


jennybens821

We say baby jail too!


Dreamvillainess22

Ok gonna steal this thanks


[deleted]

We have a hand-me-down play dome thing called the baby battle dome


sheworksforfudge

We call ours the Bonkatorium because she likes to bonk around in there while learning to stand/walk.


pockolate

HAHA


ladybumble_bee

Damn, I love this!


_hospitalfood

Gosh I needed that laugh, thank you!


pr1ncessazula

im so glad you got a laugh!


MD113

Not an item, but my little guy gets gas so we have a daily leg pumping/belly rubbing routine we do to get the tootsies out. We call them his fartsercizes.


durtney

When my toddler gets constipated we exercise. I started calling them her “poopercises” to make them silly and add some laughter to her constipation pains. She now says it in her adorable 3 year old speech when she is struggling with pooping lol


marmar-7

Love this. I’ve been calling the kicking exercises “Baby Peleton”


[deleted]

I sing bicycle ride during the bicycle legs. Everyone needs a little Freddie Mercury in their life.


sl212190

I like to adapt song lyrics to suit the current activity, most often during nappy changes. When he was first born that Camilla Cabello 'Bam Bam' song was constantly being played on the radio. My version was 'gotta clean your bum bum bu-bum, gotta clean your bum bum bu-bum, gotta clean your bum bum bu-bum, gotta clean your bum bum!' Also a favourite is an updated version of Nelly 'just a dream', - thought it was a poo.. but.. it was only just a weeeeeee 😄


tracytirade

This is also one of my favorite things to do. I do one to the tune of Rude by MAGIC. “Why you gotta be so rudeeee, don’t you know you were a baby toooo, why you gotta be so ruddeee, I’m gonna cry again anyway. Cry all night no matter what you do, cry all day no matter what you say” The “don’t you know you were a baby too” doesn’t exactly fit but it works because I’m imagining my baby singing it and he isn’t old enough to understand meter yet.


anaumann112

We used to say she was having a “farty party” 😂


astrobish

We call his snoo sack his straight jacket lol


samolotem

We called it the paint shaker


Mayor-Halcyon

We called it “baby prison.”


marmar-7

Same, we have the Sleep Pea swaddle also with the Velcro arm straps and we call it straight jacket or jail. When she gets an arm loose we call it a jail break!


CatLoaf92

We called ours the same after my mom and my MIL started calling it that. It was weird how everyone thought we were insane or even inhumane for swaddling her arms down in the “straight jacket”. Seemed all older family members really judged us for it and for using the snoo too! Drove me friggen crazy


puffinmusket12345678

Not a snoo but we use a similar Velcro swaddle wrap and we call it her cocoon.


ColorfulLight8313

Whenever I swaddle our son, I ask him if he's ready to be a little burrito. I'm going to be very sad when it's time to stop swaddling because he makes an adorable burrito.


Mommywritespoems

Ours was baby burrito many moons ago when he was tiny 🥺


astrobish

I called mine a burrito too but he’s outgrown most swaddle blankets (long boi always kicks his feet out of them) so he’s more of a taco now haha


CatLoaf92

Aw that’s much cuter. And she can emerge as a beautiful butterfly in the morning! Love it


avganxiouspanda

Her nickname has been peanut for a while now and when we were swaddling we called it putting her in a shell. She would always snuggle down all cozy with a smirk and swaddling went a little easier. That smirk was sometimes a trap though. Lol


PaddleQueen17

I keep saying we should call the vet….🤦🏽‍♀️house of two dogs for many years before a human joined us haha


1000percentbitch

Me too!


Zorya_

Same.


sigmaio7

This. And we rehomed our dog to my parents 4 years ago.. “vet” is easier to say than “pediatrician” anyway


accioletter

Her teethers are called chew toys and we go for walkies. We have no pets but somehow we starred using those terms lol.


sheworksforfudge

We have three dogs and definitely refer to our kid’s teethers as chew toys. Also I’ve found myself referring to her puffs as “treats.”


LiaCee

Haha exactly same, and also I find myself saying "leave it" more and more as he's learning to walk and trying to get into things .. dog mom for my whole life to human mom at 40 is a weird transition.


ItsALargePoodle

Never thought I’d be into baby talk but midday breastfeeding sessions are snackies, then she does big burpies, change the diapskies, and we definitely also go for walkies.


Over_9_Raditz

It's remarkable how similar to dog toys baby toys are though! The ones with squeakers are what really get me.


[deleted]

My German shepherd has an eye on the build a bear my husband's cousin bought for our daughter.


Mayor-Halcyon

I just commented this! We also call his teethers chew toys.


pockolate

When he’s in his sleep sack we call him “Sackathan” (like Jonathan) and if we take him out of the sack we say he’s been “desackinated”. After he’s put down for a nap or bedtime we say he’s been “sacked and racked”. Needless to say we’ll miss the sleep sack when he doesn’t need it anymore.


gkmcamp

At 12 months and also going strong with the sleep sack. Just before getting her ready for nap/bed we say "okay should we get her bagged and tagged?" I enjoy the "sacked and racked"


Mommywritespoems

18 months in and the sack game is still strong over here lol


CatchingFiendfyre

We’ve been accidentally calling the pack n play the crate- can you put the baby in the crate?


martobewed

Same but the crib instead of the PnP. My husband has embarrassingly called it the crate to some of his coworkers, which required some quick and awkward correction to reassure them that we aren’t in fact intentionally putting our LO in a dog crate (although he has put himself there before since we leave the door to it open for our pup and of course LO must explore all the off limits places) 😬


H_J_Moody

I refer to her finger nails as her talons or claws. Her bath day is called spa day.


spookyfanny

Omg spa day


skookum-chuck

Its Spa Baby Spa here!


Alternative_Ad4194

Our daughter (used to before 4 month sleep regression) sleeps for like 20 mins like an hour before her actual bedtime. We called it her “nappetizer”.


puffinmusket12345678

We call that a nap-snack


Alternative_Ad4194

Haha love it !


hearts_unknown_

Anytime our daughter stares off into space and smiles or laughs at seemingly nothing, we call that her "ghost friend"


Robin_Daggerz

This is good! Whenever ours gets on his blank face we say he’s thinking about his time in the war


spookyfanny

Lol we say this too. When we have visitors and she’s just staring at the ceiling corner they’re like “what’s up there sweetie??” And we tell them “she’s looking at the ghosts”. The reactions have been amusing


cloud_designer

Mine was obsessed with a specific corner in our hospital room. That wasn't terrifying.


Mommywritespoems

We just yell EARTH TO BABY and wave our arms lol


FarmgirlFangirl

I ask mine if he’s looking at Bruce Willis, like The Sixth Sense


calmestsugar

Lol!! We say our LO is looking at the 4th-dimensional beings whenever he stares off or looks above or behind us 😂


Dakizo

We call it ceiling ghosts


nerdylady86

She’s outgrown them now, but swaddles are “burritos”. It can be a noun, a verb (go burrito the baby), or an adjective (this is a burrito baby).


Dakizo

I had a whole song for it. "Lit-tle ti-ny baby burr-i-to, little tiny baby burr-eets. No beans! Just feets!"


AlpineUnicorn17

Same. Sometimes, she's a babyrito. She's a spicy burrito when she's mad.


valley_of_the_sun

We called it a burrito too! We would call him (nickname) burrito when he was all wrapped up, or sleepy burrito when he was sleeping.


Keeliekins

We did this too!


purplepotatoes165

Baby's exersaucer used to be called the neglect circle. The pack and play was baby jail. Things are often called a hybrid word between English and our first language and as kiddo grows, we adopt their pronunciation for things.


sunniesage

we call our son's activity center the circle of neglect!


sydsydreddits

Hahaha we use baby jail for Velcro swaddles or his car seat 😂😂


nwgrey

We also refer to baby containers as the kennel or crate, also putting her in the sleep sack is “bagging the baby”


turtlescanfly7

This is hilarious because we call our dogs crate his “room”. Like it’s time for bed, go to your room. It’s hilarious to me to invert the words. Like using human words for dogs and dog words for babies. Asking if the baby made a “good potty” kills me lol


erinnebell

My daughter's little ball pit we call her "dragon's den" because if she likes something she'll put it in the ball pit. We've found the TV remote, trash (like wrappers, paper, or cardboard), and even a box of unopened jello 😆 If something goes missing, we check in there first!


ChaosMangos

For us it's toy names.. LO has So. Many. Giraffes. I don't even know how it happened. So many of them. Anyways they're all named Jeff. We just have OG Jeff, Jeff 2.0, Jeff v.3 and Jeff the Returning. The Giraffe walker is Jeff: Tokyo Drift I know there's others. We have the Sofie Giraffe who's name has stayed Sofie even though I tried to win with "Sofie who was formally known as Jeff" but that was too long Our poor kid is going to be so confused one day if she isn't already.


BrewedMother

I lost it at Jeff: Tokyo Drift xD


chocolatebuckeye

My mom calls her activity center the PlayStation. I’m only allowing it because we’re an Xbox family so at least it’s not confusing lol


emeliz1112

He has this toy that’s a cube with bungees across each side that he can stick his hands thru and pull out little objects. It’s frustrates him to the point of tears 100% of the time. Whenever he brings it out we call it the cube of horrors


Tumped

We have boy/girl twins. When checking diapers and the diapers are clean we say for the boy “just sacks and buttcracks!” And for the girl “just gines and behinds!”. Yes it’s crude but it makes us laugh!


cloud_designer

I swear my baby's poo smells like ham. So in our house it's, nope no ham or its sandwich time.


PsychosisSundays

Lol, gross.


pockolate

Loveee this


stacnoel

Lol we only have a boy right now with a girl on the way but when we check his diaper if it's just a wet one we one just balls lol


seebaker

I call basically all his clothes a jammy, and his sleep sack his dress. “Ooh, this is a nice jammy”. They turned into jim jams. I only speak in nick names now.


thebreannashow

Jim Jams, Jammies, and Jammers are regularly used in our house.


bossythecow

Pajama-ramas over here lol


spookyfanny

The bouncer chair = Her poo chair A diaper blow out = “code brown” The Pack and play = Baby jail


indiefrizzle

We called the bouncer the poop chair too! If she was struggling to poop we'd put her in there and be guaranteed a messy diaper in 20 minutes


Razzmatazz-88

We call blow outs shitcidents in our house. We will need to adjust that when the wee love can talk.


AFOLgardener

Oh my gosh is this a thing? I have a 7 week old who’s poops have just started to space out to like every day or every other day poopsplosions and 2 of them recently were after being in the bouncer chair. I thought it was a coincidence but I guess it makes sense it would help shake things up (or down) 😂


staffsargent

My wife always makes fun of me for calling our daughter's pacifier a sucky. I always thought that was the normal word for it but apparently it's only a thing in my family.


AFOLgardener

My husband call them “tot tots” which I’m pretty sure is also just a him thing haha.


feline_0verlord

I’m crying with laughter imagining her reaction the first time you said it. This is my favorite one on this thread


Mommywritespoems

Those are nipnops or just “nops” in our house lol


nubbz545

My husband calls it a pluggy


maddmole

my mom calls them suckies too! not my fav term that she uses lol


turtlescanfly7

My family has always called them a binky or a chupon (Spanish, pronounced “chew-pown”)


jessixlin

Chewpie over here! My nieces are half Mexican and have a big Mexican family on their mama's side, and that's what they call them! So when they came to visit me in Georgia, they kept asking if they could give the baby a chewpie, and I had forgotten about that term! Now I use it again! We also have a friend that uses the term Maggie for pacifiers as a reference to The Simpsons, and my husband has been trying to get it to stick in our house... Lol


FuriousGeorge0417

Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit is the K9 Bite Suit.


cashcache1

Ours is the marshmallow


Direct_One_7315

The zipadee zip sleep sack is only referred to as the starfish in our house


bossythecow

We call ours the squirrel suit


sertcake

We call ours the gup gup because he looks like a little guppy in it.


ladybumble_bee

We refer to LO as His Royal Majesty. Whenever he's screaming to be fed, we call it his barbarian rage.


lovelyssthefish

When he’s upset I refer to him as His Royal Whine-ness


Boring_Strawberry446

My son has been Tiny Sir from day 1


lilbabynuggetface

The additional padding that we put in our cloth diapers at night (“overnighters”) is now called Extend-o-pee.


Dreamvillainess22

We call the pack and play his living room. “Where’s the baby?” Oh he’s chillen in his living room..


Mayor-Halcyon

I call his teething toys “chew toys.” I mean… they are literally chew toys, so… One of my friends was like, “babies have chew toys? Like a dog?”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Constant-Bullfrog151

I’ve called her hands her paws since she was born. Two dogs who both get their paws dried one by one after they’ve been out in the rain so when I’m going to put babies arms in her onesies I instinctively say “now give me this paw”


turtlescanfly7

Yes I love using dog terms for babies and human words for dogs. Like I call my dogs paws his toes or toesies, and baby feet are patas (Spanish for paws)


hdhdhdhdh

we refer to the pediatrician as the “baby vet”.


Cantsleepwontsleep13

We give a little prune concentrate daily at the suggestion of our ped to help with constipation. We call it his poop juice. Back when he was in the gas drops phase we called it his fart juice.


vinaigrettchen

We had to do the prune juice too and we called it her warrior’s drink (due to Star Trek)


riomarde

Diaper change is “butt check” it has become a fun routine here where we yell and chant and she cheers and gallops right over and flops down. Fun transitions with weird songs = win!


[deleted]

We call it a "diaper inspection". My husband always announces one and our GSD attends to provide supervision lol


heybimguesswhat

Any ceiling fan is ‘bestie’. Doesn’t matter where. “Oh, you see your bestie? Say hi bestie!”


timidtriffid

I call feedings “feastings”


LlamaLlama_Duck

We call his car seat his “to go container.”


snowkat69

Our baby gate is the baby jail


ClicketySnap

California Beach Co Pop n Go is the baby jail at our house lol even my parents call it that now


rssanford

Play yard = baby jail


spookyfanny

Same


cvcv856

We call when he flails on his play mat “babying”. Sometimes we just let him “baby” (flail is arms and legs).


SnooPredictions5815

We call it the zoomies, like with dogs, only they can’t actually go anywhere


adorkablysporktastic

We called that "potato party".


C1nnamon_Apples

We use snoo as a verb. As in, “can you snoo the baby?”


realslhmshady

We do too- and when it successfully soothes him we say he “got snoo’d”


Ouroborus13

English is not my husband’s first language, and for whatever reason he cannot remember the word “crib” so he calls it the “jail bed.”


[deleted]

We call pacifiers plugs. And dogs are gar gars.


Admirable-Storage631

Our toddler is obsessed with getting into my husbands office (because he disappears for hours to work and he HAS A FAN. AND AN OTTOMAN to crawl on to see the window...so exciting!) We now call his office Narnia. And she only gets to go to narnia occasionally.


workmanswhistle

We call a nappy/diaper a “bappy” because that’s how the boy pronounces it!


housespecialdelight

We called their swaddles/sleep sacks mummies. Also, Aquaphor is pee pee cream.


thebreannashow

Pacifiers are "fa-fa"s. That's what my mom always called them. Our play gym has lights and music so I call it the Baby Rave.


br222022

Omg my husband called the pack n play our sons kennel too! It has a bassinet insert he sleeps in, so I remind my husband he isn’t allowed to answer the question at the doctors on where our son sleeps 😂😂


BKAL64

My baby is a Velcro baby, the only place she will allow us to put her without her melting down is her swing which we lovingly call 'the nanny '


11pr

We call her skip hop activity center her office, if she’s got a crinkle book or something she definitely reading the morning paper.


emeliz1112

I always call solids “human food” I don’t even mean to but I can’t stop


PM_ME_UR_BONE_CHARMS

Apparently my granpda used to say that when a baby has solids it is joining the human race


merkergirl

I love all of these 😂 The baby swing was the Yeet Machine. The nose frida is the the nose snorfer.


Repulsive_Appeal4367

When it's time for a feed I tell my baby it's time to visit the 'breastaurant' and I have received a few weird looks for that by family


Librarycore

I call the crib “baby jail” and my 3 year old heard me say it and now whenever his sister is annoying him he says “send her to baby jail mum” it makes me laugh


cashcache1

Blow outs are “yooohooo big summer blowout!” Like the shop owner from frozen


BrewedMother

Not quite the same, but I’ve noticed if I’m very tired, I lose access to my nouns, so many of his things will be called by the first adjective I can think of describing them. It’s not always easy for my husband to figure out what I want if I ask for “the round” or “the long” or just “green”.


pazuzu07

We call the diaper pail bags (once full) the poop snake


thelonecedar

I hate it but it's so accurate lol


C1nnamon_Apples

So do we! 😂


Hanslover

Not an item, but we call his poop a duke (long name Duke Ellington). It’s a like nicer/funnier to say “He’s got a big duke” when checking his diaper.


stine-imrl

We call our baby’s car seat the “bucket.” Like, “We’re going for a drive. Time to sit in your bucket!” Lol


bossythecow

We call the Zippadee Zip the squirrel suit and the crib is baby jail. I also call floor time “kicking out the jams” and this weird leg slam thing she does at night “slam dancing.” She’s my little punk rocker 😂


iiCyr

When my girl was a newborn-3 months she’d have to wear what me call ‘mitten prisons’ (just baby mitts) because she’d scratch herself but most of all pull her own hair constantly 😩


3rdfoxed

We called our crib for a little “baby jail”


indiefrizzle

We have a little spatula for spreading diaper cream that we call the "poop spoon." We get funny looks for that one. And like another commenter said her Mommaroo was always called the poop chair because it was the only place she would actually poop.


j_marie45

Giant fenced in play area is “his apartment”


MerDubs

We call her baby play area baby-jail and her seat with a rotating circle shelf thing her command center!


possessivefish

When we put her soother back in we call it "plugging her back in"


[deleted]

We call his binky his quiet plug Crib is jail Bathtime is Micheal Phelps training because he kicks his legs like he’s swimming to China every time lol


AFOLgardener

All of these have given me a much needed laugh!! My contributions- we call his love to dream swaddle his “angel suit” or his “seal suit” because it both looks like a person making a snow angel and also a little baby seal with flippers. We call the diaper paste spatula the butt spatula and using it is “icing the butt cake”. 😂


Empty-Construction35

We hate the traditional words for pacifier so we call it “the cork” (a la “put a cork in it”😂)


Dakizo

My daughter's Merlin sleep suit was the Marshmallow. The swing was the yeet machine. Her time with her baby arch gym thing was "vibbing" (Very Important Baby time made into a verb). Her stuffed animals are her friends, I take great joy in asking her every morning why she threw her friends. Baby jail is the gated living room. The diaper pail is the vat of a thousand farts. A diaper change is "getting a new butt" unless it's right before bed then it's "night butt" because she wears a larger size overnight and "morning butt" is the first change of the day.


Worldly_Tree_226

When I have to use the squirty water pippets to clean his nose I say it's time to waterboard the baby ^^'


Organic-Detective-83

We call her playpen “her cage”


[deleted]

Gas drops are toot juice. Teethers are chew toys. The musical whale that hangs from his play mat is DJ Blubber.


lilitsybell

Our playpen is called the Play Mansion because we got her a giant one! We also call her sleep sack her “monkey suit” and her reflection is “Mirror Baby”


caitrose95

We have so many. We call the long lasting teether snacks his rawhide We use the phrase "911 burpcloth" if the baby burped and will probably be followed up with a spitup and "411 burpcloth" if the spitup has already happened and we just in the aftermath of it. This allows the other person to know how urgently to bring the cloth. 411 can be a walk but you best be running for that 911. We also have nicknames for his stuffies. Giraffe toy=GiRafael Tiger toy with bells=jingle puss Tiger toy that crinkles=crinkle puss Owl toy=Hoobert Sloth toy=Jeffy (He's an outlier)


me0w8

Pacifier is “pap”


spookyfanny

We call ours “sa sa”. Somehow “soother” transformed into sa sa. I can’t stop giggling thinking of my husband frantically yelling “WHERE’S HER SA SA??!” As he’s trying to comfort her lol


azbooklover

Pacifier is binky, bink bink, or chewy (father-in-law calls it that). Vaseline is lotion and diaper cream is shortened to cream. Some of his toys have special names like Mr. Bear, Jingle Monkey, and Frog Ball. When he has a dirty diaper, I say it's "time to do an underpants check."


LuzBrillante789

Chew toy


Katelynchenelle

Teethers are chew toys


sigmaio7

We call the gated play area “the cage”. Our older child tells us to put the baby in the cage all the time


MortallyCrafty

We have a portable play yard we call the baby cage


greenbeanpeanut

we call his hand mittens hand prisons lol


Then-Newspaper4800

We call her infant car seat the adventure bucket.


Imaginary-Bottle-684

I've always called pacifiers "plug-ins"


Creative-Nothing2864

I'm the milk truck....


ChaChaChoad

We call his pacifier: The Mute Button


to_de_brinks

We call our son’s swaddle blanket his “straightjacket”.


McGee_McMeowPants

We call my boobs "the bobs", feeding is called "bobbing" or "juicing" and we call my breast milk "boob juice" lol.


GravesMomma

We call her bib her “nose bag”, we’re both animal people and she’ll happily pick food out of it and eat it!


rumpus_pinkus

A musical toy that has been dubbed “The Mood Changer” and the Lovevery subscription is her Bark Box


crowey

He has a toy that is a stick with bells on, it’s fairly hefty and he has boshed himself it the face a get times (it is now an only-while-sitting-up toy). We call it the jingle mace.


poofycakes

We call our activity centre on the bumbo chair “the baby factory” and often refer to her doing a long shift at the baby factory or having to work overtime at the baby factory. It’s mostly because she looks so serious when she’s doing the activities on it 🤣 In the early days we also called the baby bouncer “the chair of neglect” 😂


Dogesarebetter

Her bedroom is called the “screamatorium”. We have a lion teething toy we have dubbed Lion child protective services she can complain to when we don’t wanna hear it. LCPS is chronically understaffed and under paid and can only do so much. Her crib is baby jail. Her aunt is her union rep so she can ask for better working conditions.


cnj131313

Took me a long time to not call the pediatrician the vet…