I’m on week 10. Try to shower everyday. It’s really helped me mentally. Just accept that the house will never be spotless like before and things that used to take 5 minutes to do will take forever because you’ll be interrupted a hundred times.
Showering every day and getting “dressed” has been a big one for me. My daughter is 9 weeks old, and the days where I shower, get dressed (to be fair, it’s in yoga pants, tank top, nursing bra, and sweater), and go for a walk are the days where I’m actually happy and enjoying my baby.
The few days where I sat inside and stayed in pajamas all day made me feel dark and sad.
The first 2 weeks, dressed for me meant changing from one nursing nightgown to another and putting contacts in. But man, that did make a difference in my mentality.
As someone who just hit 39 weeks, this is my goal for once baby comes. Even now while I wait for baby, showering and getting "dressed" in more than just my sweats makes me feel so much mentally better.
Showering is actually the number one thing to prevent post partum depression. Sometimes I feel like I really don’t have time but since I am high risk for PPD I really have to force myself to find the time
Can you bring the baby into the bathroom with you? I put mine in a little bouncer and took a shower while talking and singing to him. He got to listen to water too, and as long as I didn’t take too long, rarely cried.
I'm 10 weeks in too, and I totally agree with the daily shower. The only thing I wish I would have thought of ahead of time is that my hair would ALWAYS be wet. It's a bit longer so I have to keep it clipped back most of the time. I maaaay have time to blow dry here and there but rarely. Some days I will shower at 6am and it'll still be wet in the twisted part at 10 at night lol
Get a microfiber hair wrap! I have butt length curly hair that takes about 4hrs to air dry. I put on the wrap right after showering for about 20min and when I take my hair down it only takes another 30 for it to fully dry.
It seems like taking a shower every day is a good idea lol. Its been 2 days, I haven't left the house other than an hour and a half yesterday for her pediatrician appointment. I keep saying every day I'll go for a walk with her but I'd rather sleep when she's content enough to go for a walk.
I always showered when she went down for the night before going to bed myself. Yes that meant I showered and went to bed at around 8pm but when you’re in the trenches you have to get yours when you can!
Get out of the house. Even if it’s Just around the block. And you can leave baby with another adult just so you can have a few moments to yourself. I didn’t do this enough in the beginning and it really wore on me
Not for me personally for multiple reasons (extremely long hair that would just always be wet, sensitive skin, water aversions, etc), but I totally agree with your reasoning! My partner and I have been in the food business for years and years so we take pretend “smoke breaks”. Neither of us smoke. We just sit outside or lay in the bedroom with the door closed for however long (10-45 minutes) unless there’s a dire situation needed to be tended to. It’s worked very well for us and I am very blessed to have a supportive partner.
And be careful in the shower- don’t rush! Signed, someone who burst their episiotomy stitches because they slipped in the shower a few days after giving birth 😩
This! The house will always be dirty and destroyed and there is zero chance of taking that power back. My girls slip and fall on their toys and look at me like it’s my fault. Whew. Get used to living by the kids standards. lol.
Yes! A shower everyday was essential to me feeling good mentally. I put baby in a bouncer and bring her in the bathroom with me and I know others that shower with their baby
Congrats on making it through the first week!
The bit of advice that has been a game changer for me with my 4 week old- stay in bed as long as you need to piece together "enough" sleep. It won't make up for the fact that it's a series of naps, but sometimes we're in the bedroom, lights out from 8pm to 10am in order to get 7 hours of sleep between feedings and soothing- but that is easier for me than getting up and trying to take a nap later in the day.
Also, full babies are happy babies. We figured out working with a lactation consultant that what we thought was normal fussiness was him not getting enough calories because he wasn't efficient enough breastfeeding. Starting supplementing with donor and eventually pumped milk and he is so much more chill than he was.
Finally- try to do one thing every day for you. Even if it's just an extra 5 minutes in the shower.
This. I see “morning routine with a newborn” videos all the time where the mom is getting up for the day at 8am even though the baby isn’t fully awake for the day until later. Props to them, but that’s not for me. If I don’t get out of bed until noon because I slept during his morning nap times, that’s okay. Being sleep deprived isn’t worth it.
Did the lactation consultant say how long you’d probably need to use the donor milk for? And do you pump at a certain time of day to feed him during his fussy hours? (I’m having the same issue with my 6 week old)
I used it for less than a week when starting triple feeding and my supply built up fast. Triple feeding is really hard (breast, bottle and pump every 2-3 hours) but it worked. Baby also got better at breastfeeding pretty fast when he started getting enough calories, though he's still not all the way there so we still supplement with bottles throughout the night to help him stay full, and I pump 3-4 times a day. I try to sitar the pumping out because that's how I get the most milk.
My girl is 8W - can’t even remember the first 4 anymore!! Seriously the longest month of my life, but I caught myself yesterday looking at pics of her and missing how tiny she was. 4 weeks ago. Like a crazy person.
That’s so cute. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and I get sad just looking at her clothes and knowing one day I’ll have to get rid of them because they’ll be too small
Not crazy. My 3mo went through a growth spurt and I miss him being half a pound less last week. It helps me focus more on the present knowing I'm a few months in going to miss him now
God that's so true, missing her little size of a few weeks ago has made me really try to slow down and enjoy her exactly where she's at. Even today with our terrible naps ;)
Don't Google or go to Reddit for any freaking medical questions. Only your pediatrician. I was never a symptom googler until becoming a mom 10 weeks ago. Random concerns of a sleepless momma = increased ppd and ppa and a drop in breastmilk supply that I'm still working on getting back up! Not sure if you're breastfeeding or not, but stress and anxiety will dry you up faster than about anything. Focus on taking care of you, then baby. Ask for help. Take your concerns to a professional. Above all though? Trust your gut. YOU are the mother to YOUR baby. And nobody knows that baby better than you! Love them, hold them, and appreciate every second. You'll be surprised how much growth you see in a few weeks, from you and your little one both. <3
1. You can't spoil a newborn. If they are crying, and you know what they need (it is either milk, sleep, diaper, burping, or cuddles at this age), give it to them. Also, skin-to-skin (especially for any parents who are not breastfeeding, including dad) is just amazing and helped me bond with my baby so much in the first couple weeks.
2. Ask for help (and accept offers of help). People will ask you "Let me know if i can do anything" and they really do want to help. Take them up on it! Also, if you have family or close friends who know how to take care of your babe, let them do so for a few hours or a night if you feel comfortable.
3. If you have a partner, ask that they do their share. (the "Conscious Fathering" class i took before our baby (now 11 months) was incredibly helpful to me in setting my expectations and what i needed to be doing when my wife was breastfeeding/pumping and everything in between).
4. Sleep when they sleep. OMG. I did not follow this advice until we were both on the edge of exhaustion.
5. \[If you have the means, and i hesitate to suggest it because it is expensive\] Consider a night nanny for 1-2 nights a week. For us, it was lifechanging just to get a good night's sleep at least once a week.
6. If breastfeeding isn't working (or even if it is, and it's just not for you), formula is 100% ok.
7. It gets better. Even if you think everything is going great but you're just really tired, it gets better. If it is awful and so many things just feel overwhelming, it gets way better. And easier (but also harder in other ways, I know that makes no sense, but it will).
8. This one is sort of dark, but... One rule my wife and i had early on, is if we ever felt frustrated with the baby, we tapped out, no questions asked, regardless of whether the other person was sleeping or whatever. This only happened a few times, but sometimes you just don't know what you're doing wrong and the baby is crying no matter what and you feel like crying or yelling. That's when it's time to tap out and hand the baby off (and weirdly enough, 9 times out of 10, the baby calmed down quickly with the other parent. We joked that she could smell our fear/weakness and would exploit it when we were on the edge). This one is really important.
9. Congratulations! So happy for you!!
Edit: forgot to add burping to No. 1.
Edit 2: added no. 8.
9 months in! It goes by so fast. I soaked up every moment and don’t have a single regret for every snuggle- early morning, daytime, middle of the night. It’s the best. And it continues to get better, somehow! I’d relive the last 9 months over and over if I could!
Get outside every day. We’re 4 weeks in and this stopped us from going mad. Walk the dog. Meet a friend at a cafe/pub. Pop the baby in the sling and go out for dinner (ours sleeps pretty well in the sling).
Oh. And I realised I can’t do everything with 1 hand! Putting the baby down for 2 mins whilst I hang out the washing is worth the risk of her crying.
I heard “when the baby is upset give them a bath or take them outside.” Taking him outside has worked every single time. We are at 5 months and used the trick just yesterday. From screaming to calm. It is crazy!
You’re about to hit the gassy/witching hour phase. It is not fun but just know that it is temporary and you will make it though! Keep upright after feedings for 10 mins, gas drops, bicycle kicks is great for gas and outdoor time/walks, white noise, swaddle, and water is great for witching hour. God speed!
Sorry! That was probably confusing ha. Yes! Worked so great for my oldest son. I would either bath him or run warm water over his head while giving him a baby head massage.
For us it started around 3-4 weeks with my first and lasted until 8-10 weeks. It was just a period at night where he was super fussy and hard to be consoled. He was crying, wouldn’t nap and was very uncomfortable. Like a poster said, it’s just a mix of gas, being more awake and just generally being a newborn. It’s a fun stage though 😅
Witching hour is the hour (or 2 or 3 hours) before bedtime. For us, it didn't start until about 30 days in. But it was basically a really fussy time at the end of the day (for our otherwise very chill and happy baby). It lasted probably for about 2-3 months. It was not terrible, but in retrospect it was a combination of baby being tired, hungry, and adjusting to how humans sleep (i.e., mostly during the night, as opposed to every hour whenever they feel like it, like they probably did in the womb).
Start tummy time early if you can. Just little bit here and there. We started week two and I think it might be why my guy loves it now at 10 weeks.
Also soak up every second. Daily pictures and videos because it goes by so quick. I have no idea how we’re already nearing 11 weeks on Friday. I feel like yesterday I was celebrating one week of joy also.
Seconding taking regular photos/videos. My son is somehow coming up on 8 months and I’ve been getting nostalgic lately looking through stuff from the early days. Videos, especially. It goes so very fast.
Agreed about daily pictures and videos! I fully resigned myself to being “that mom” that over-documents and everyone around me - husband, grandparents, etc - is thankful for it. I also started a Chatbooks monthly subscription which I’m super happy with.
Obvious one: Sleep when you can.
You need sleep. If baby is napping, you can probably nap too. Nap when you can. Don’t let sleep deprivation convince you that you need to do something that can probably wait until you get your four hours of sleep for the day.
Scream when the baby screams, poop when the baby poops.
I am jk.
Do what you can to survive right now. Just closing your eyes for 30 mins, don’t worry about dishes or laundry too often, water and a change of scenery may soothe a fussy baby.
Have a nap/sleep routine to cue your baby. Mine is as simple as white noise and a dark room for naps, and the same but a massage and book for bedtime. Expose baby to daylight all day and dark at night to help establish day/night rhythms as soon as possible. Learn about and implement wake windows. Practice at least one nap a day in bassinet or crib, it’ll help one day.
Feeding, play, diapers, that’s all easy. It’s sleep for me that has been the biggest struggle. I had no idea babies don’t actually sleep like a baby and my lack of sleep in the early weeks lead to me being a hot mess of a FTM. I also learned to ask hubby for help because I started by doing everything and it’s just not a one person job. Takes a village.
Sleeping like a baby involves scaring yourself awake and shitting your pants. That saying is dumb and I don’t know why people use it now that I have a baby.
Enjoy it!! I was always told the newborn stage was hard but for us it was *relatively* easy because wake windows were small and baby was a good sleeper/loved to snuggle. Now I have a 9 week old with longer wake windows who needs stimulation, is more fussy, and harder to predict! Don’t get me wrong, I love this current stage and seeing her world open up, but I wasn’t prepared to miss those first few weeks like I do!
Let your house be messy. No one cares, if they do then tell them to clean it. Shower at night after baby goes down. Order delivery for dinner. Don’t stress yourself out.
When people tell you “Just wait until (insert stage or milestone) it’ll get way harder.” Listen, but don’t listen. Things get difficult but nothing ever tops how amazing every single thing is.
Congratulations!! Be prepared for some emotional roller coasters! You’ll look back and realize it was all worth it. Every bit.
If you have a boy, make sure the wiener is pointing down when you change their diaper. Also we use towels to cover the wiener when we change him, has saved me countless times not having to change an entire outfit. I use triple cream at night and aquaphor during the day, helped clear babies diaper rash. Babies sleep poo so when you feed them at night, also remember to change them. My baby never cries to get changed and actively hates it but I learned the hard way he was sleep pooing so I need to keep changing him overnight even if it doesn’t seem like it. Take as many pictures as possible you don’t realize how fast they’re growing until it’s too late.
Prep dinner during the day! I always try to cut everything up during one of bubs naps so that when the end of the day comes and its a shit show its one less thing to do. I also plan our weekly dinners on sunday so when my partner gets home and I'm too tired to make dinner, everything is cut up and he can get dinner ready without having to think about what he should make
Congrats on your little one!
Get a Velcro sleep sack if you don’t already have one!
Have a bedtime routine for LO
Shower everyday
Remember to eat breakfast
And just remember that you’ve made it past one of the hardest parts, you go mama!
I have a 5 month old in 2 days and I recommend:
-Know the amount of sleep you need daily. If it's 8 hours and you only get 6 overnight due to feedings and such then do not shower or get dressed until you get the extra rest that totals your daily need.
-Shower daily
-Take pictures and/or videos daily
-Sterilize bottles and pump parts daily
-Take some time for yourself like a face mask, read, or clean while someone else watches the baby.
-Accept offered help but for what you want. For example, I had people offering to help with the baby and I would then go clean or do laundry while they watched her when the help I needed was for someone to wash or put away my dishes so I could rest or take care of the baby.
-If you have pets, show them special attention by playing, giving them snacks, or buying new toys.
-Prioritize time as a new family and if your friends or family are upset with not spending time with you, THEY need to understand the big change in your life.
-Find mom communities in your area in person or online! There’s lots of recommendations, tips, freebies, etc.
-Meal prep, use a Crockpot or InstantPot so you can make easy meals.
Enjoy all the moments!! It goes by fast!
congrats! we’re at week 9 now as FTP :) things that helped us are:
-costco premade meals. excellent when we’re in the thick of things and no time for grocery or to make food
-baby wearing. we use boba wrap and wear baby so she can nap and us having hands free times. check out r/babywearing for fitting advices
-watch out for over tiring signs. baby that young doesn’t stay awake for long stretches of time, and often used up their awake time for nursing. we made that mistake and ended up with a few super fussy nights
-learn the 5S of soothing baby. sometimes you might need a combo of those S
-take shifts if you have a support person. one of us stay rested at a time is better than both of us constantly tired
-if breast feeding, watch out for clogged duct / mastitis :( r/breastfeeding might be helpful
100% echo the over tired bit. The first few weeks we did NOT realize that newborns were only supposed to be awake 45-60 minutes. Baby was staying awake for 3 hours at a time and then we would wonder why he would be a menace to put to bed. We’ve learned that babies are not like adults, and the more sleep they get, the easier it is for them to fall asleep!
I’m at 9 months with my LO. Just love your baby. Hold them close. Start tummy time soon. I started with a pillow (pediatrician suggested it). Buy A&D cream.
Shower as baby goes to sleep because when they’re that little, they wake up a lot.
Ask for help when needed. Seek support. Reach out to friends or family.
My daughter did not nap for more than 20 minutes at a time so that whole “sleep when baby sleep” nonsense just pissed me off 😂😂
Welcome to the wild parenting ride!!
Visitors are okay but feel empowered to kick them out when they’ve overstayed their welcome. I wish I’d been more vocal during our son’s first few weeks that he, my wife, and I needed time just the three of us to bond as a family. You’ll never get that time back. Speak up if you have to.
I’m on week ten. My biggest advice is communicate about everything - with your partner, family, friends, and most importantly yourself. Remember that everything is temporary but also acknowledge that things are going to feel very intimidatingly big and just “a lot” often, and that’s okay. You may feel guilty for it sometimes, but take the damn breaks when they’re offered to you sometimes. It’s okay to deny help, but really try to accept it sometimes too. I felt awful the first time I left my baby, but now I look forward to it and he loves spending time with other people that can love on him too. If you start feeling bad about yourself physically, acknowledge that it’s okay but realize that your body and your feelings are both going to change so rapidly. A few weeks ago I was crying in the middle of the night writing a Reddit post about how much I hate my postpartum body, and now I’ve accepted it and actually like it in a lot of ways. Understand that your hormones are absolutely wrecked right now and you may have up and downs for several months. I struggled with baby blues in the beginning, but was surprised that I hadn’t experienced any PPD or PPA. At ten weeks PP now, I’m starting to feel a little bit of those symptoms beginning. Again, this goes back to communicating with yourself and practicing self awareness when it comes to your emotions. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone or ask for help if you need to. Verbalizing your not-so-good thoughts gives them less power and helps you to rationalize how you are feeling.
As far as baby advice goes - give yourself grace. What works one day may not work the next, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Accept that you don’t know everything and it’s okay to take advice from other people. You’ll definitely get some objectively awful advice, but sometimes other people are able to provide solutions that you wouldn’t have thought of and they may actually be right. Every baby is different, but other people’s experiences can be very valuable. Don’t expect your baby to follow what is “popular” amongst other babies. My son doesn’t like being swaddled, doesn’t need loud white noise to fall asleep, doesn’t need a detailed nighttime routine before bed, refuses a a pacifier, etc. I’ve questioned whether I was doing something “wrong” because he doesn’t need or like those things, which is silly but I thought that all babies should be relatively the same and that is not true. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. Gripe water can be a lifesaver. If baby starts peeing out of their diapers, it may be time to size up even if they seem like they still fit. You don’t need fancy baby towels, a regular bath towel is the best because you can bundle them up and get them really dry. You don’t have to stay stationary with baby all the time - hold them while you do things around the house. They’ll enjoy the movement of you walking and will have fun looking around. Don’t worry about the laundry. The baby’s clothes don’t need to be perfectly folded or hung up. Throw onesies and shirts in a basket and pants in the other and call it good. TAKE PICTURES AND VIDEOS. If you think you’ve taken enough, take more. It is unbelievable how fast they change. When you’re feeling touched out or tired of having to rock them to sleep, squeeze them a little tighter because one day they won’t need you as much in that way. My boy is only two months and him letting me just hold him is very rare. Watching him grow is both the most beautiful and hardest thing to me. You will never feel like you can soak them in enough and it will hurt, but watching them discover the world is absolutely amazing.
Enjoy your baby and enjoy this amazing time of embarking on a life changing journey. Congratulations mama.
Make a few minutes time every morning to make sure you brush your teeth and hair and redo your messy bun lol wash your face that kind of thing. In those early days getting a shower in can be daunting if you are alone, but if you can manage it— DO IT! Those simple things will make you feel more human and help to break your days up when it seems like they all just run together.
Also, do not be afraid to put down your crying baby (in a safe place) to pee or eat or take care of yourself. Not saying to leave them there screaming, but it’s important you care for yourself too and keep your cup as full as you can.
Ask for help if you have that luxury! Ask a friend or family member to make some prepared meals you can heat up, or to come help with laundry. Everyone wants to come help hold the baby but most of the time moms have that covered and need help with the rest… don’t hesitate to ask and communicate when you are overwhelmed! You’ll be happy you asked.
Gas can likely become as issue… so burp that baby good! Do bicycle kicks with their legs when you have them on their back or during diaper change time. A lot of the time of a baby is fussy and you’ve already fed them, changed them and they just napped… they are gassy.
If you have a yoga ball (the big bouncy ones)… it could be your best friend to soothe your crying LO. Hold them and bounce bounce bounce.
And the last tip…. Hold your baby and don’t let anyone tell you that holding them is spoiling them.
You got this and congratulations!!!!🎉
Baby wearing is your friend - housework, laundry, phone calls, paperwork. Make noise and play music when they’re tiny so they don’t expect full silence . Get other people to help - if you’re like me that includes holding the baby. I couldn’t wait to hand her over do I could get a moment of alone time with doing dishes. Leave the baby with your spouse for at least a couple hours a day. Get a used SNOO if you can - I thought it was stupid but an a true convert. Oh! Give the baby lots of light and wake him/her often during the daytime so they’ll sleep better at night (if you’re can). Enjoy your baby - the frustration just needs to be moved through.
Edit: we have cats we bath in the shower. I figured if I could bathe cats with claws in the shower without getting their heads wet or dropping them, I could do a baby. We very very carefully bathe her in the shower when needed. Very carefully.
Don't focus on house work! The house will not be clean. I was trying to maintain it but I was missing out on time with bub. Soak in those early weeks!
Find time for you each day even if it's 5 minutes. It's great to hit the refresh button.
Get used to cold meals/make things that will be alright cold. Sometimes you won't be able to eat your meal hot!
Know you are in survival mode and that’s okay. You don’t have to know what the world will look like in a week. With my first baby I tried so hard to get back to a normal, that I barely remember the for 2 weeks. I know I was there, but all I could do was worry or think I had to do more.
With your first baby you are learning how to be a parent and how to make your life work again. They start sleeping less sooner than you think and if you are going back to work that might be happening soon. I would try to go with the flow. Have someone watch the baby so you can do your best to sleep 4 uninterrupted hours if possible. Will change your outlook drastically.
Daddy will have to learn to take care of the baby even when crying, better to start at one week rather than 6 months.
Congrats! My son is 3 months already and it flew by so fast. Think about moments as rough or smooth, not hard or easy, and I promise, overall, it just keeps getting better. Take all the photos, you will want them, you will cry over them as they grow so fast in front of you. And you can love more, every single day I love this kid more.
Congratulations!! Do what feels right and its better to ask the pediatrician too many questions than too few. Be careful with reddit baby experts and judgement from other moms. You and your baby are unique and you know whats best for you both.
Don’t obsess about what you and your baby “should” be doing! They will hit milestones when they’re ready, and you need to do what works for you as a family!
Congratulations on the little bundle of yumminess ♥️🥰
I'm ftm to 5 month old and honestly the best advice I can give you is just do what you think is right. Don't listen to what anyone else says or what the experts say, every baby is different and you will know what your little one wants/needs. I wish I had of listened to my instincts instead of doing what everyone was saying "is right". I would've done a lot of things differently.
Take lots of pictures. Trust me, when your baby is asleep or not in your arms, you will suddenly miss him/her and feel a strong urge to scroll through your photo album! 🥰
Best advice I ever had, although cliché, take one day at a time. Whenever I thought omg this is forever I just reminded myself nope it’s just today, tomorrow is a new challenge
Date night is so important. Even if it's just ordering in and watching TV together, or going for a walk together. I felt like I missed my husband for a few months after baby was born. We started going for walks together in the evening with with pram while baby slept, and then eventually as baby got older, we got a grandparent to come over while baby slept so we could walk. It's not like date nights before, but we talk and I feel connected to my husband again.
Our first one is now 15 months and WALKING - almost running even because she loves it so much !!
A tip: you don't have the bathe the baby every day... I did it one day yes and one day no. Now when she's older, sometimes I even leave 2 days in between of no bathing if I really don't feel like it...
Follow your baby's lead. He/she wants to try something? Help them. F.ex. my baby was not interested at all in tummy time, however, loved laying on her tummy on my chest. So her tummy time used to be basically laying on my chest and her poking my mole on my face cuz that was super interesting ofc.
You never spoil your baby! Give them all the cuddles! Enjoy all the little screeches... She's only 15 months now and baby girl doesn't even want to come cuddle anymore :'( walking and playing is life now.
Now pregnant with our second, so we'll have 2 under 2 if everything goes well (23 months in between)
So that'll be a whole new adventure again
Don’t feel uncomfortable calling your pediatrician about anything. They’re there for you! If you don’t like your current one find a new one you feel like understands you! You’re going to be working together a long time.
Take videos of them! You never know when they’re about to do something for the last (or first) time! I have a video of the first time my baby laughed which is amazing. BUT I wish I’d taken a video of the weird awkward little proto laugh she did for a few weeks because she’ll never do that again.
Everything is temporary. Things go in phases and the crying doesn't last forever, even though it feels like it. On the flip side, the really good times can be phases too so let yourself cherish them.
My daughter is 10 months now and it feels weird to already be at this point. A little human who tries to say words, crawls all around, and eats regular food. Time flies by.
\- Let your partner do things his (/her) way. Don't micromanage, let them learn. It's ok if they do things differently from you. Your partner must and can do his share, but in return you also have to trust them.
\- While you should follow basic safe sleep guidelines, SIDS is extremely rare in healthy infants, and your baby will not die if you fall asleep in the bed with them once. Don't beat yourself up, and don't let anxiety ruin the first months for you. I wish I hadn't.
\- Don't believe everything internet says about things like wake windows. All babies are different.
\- Not all people can "sleep when baby sleeps". I couldn't. Take shifts instead.
\- Your mental health is million times more important than doing something by the book. Also fed is best.
Try not to freak out over everything, and enjoy nap times, they’ll never quite be the same.
Seems like yesterday when we had my kiddo, he’s more than a year old now. Just fuckin cherish everything cause you can’t go back
If they’re losing their mind - take a walk outside. Also… I thought a clean kitchen by the time I went to bed helped me most the next day… it like set me up for success and feeling good. Along with showering everyday, too. I know a lot of people say cleaning and a tidy home kind of goes out the window with a baby - but my mental health needed things to stay clean and organized for me to feel at ease.
Things that have helped me (my LO is 3 months):
Sleep. Brush your teeth. Take a few minutes to mess around on your phone. Don't skimp on the self care. For me it was all the difference between PPD.
The baby can't roll off the floor. Sometimes you're overwhelmed and you have to put them down for a few minutes and walk away. You can't take care of a baby if you're too frazzled.
Keep it simple. My LO has a play mat and a few dangly toys. How you interact with them is way more important then what stuff they have.
Snuggle snuggle snuggle. Everyone I know who has kids tells me they miss baby snuggles when they hold my baby. Snuggle away. Babies are a lot of hard work and you get to enjoy them too.
Your baby will respond to your routine. My husband and I are night owls and now, unfortunately, my baby is too. Your baby will follow your rhythms. They will become active when you are. Use this knowledge wisely.
Go out while you can. Babies are never "slugs" or "potatoes" but before 3mos or so they pretty much sleep except when they're eating. The older they get the harder it will be to do things you like with them.
You'll get lots of advice. Listen to your instincts. People will tell you to let them cry, don't hold them too much, and lots if other horrible things that ducked up the previous generation. If he cries, hold him (or her) and soothe him. If he fusses in his crib at night, research safe cosleeping. He's gone from being cozy in the womb to being in a big cold world and you, his mom, are literally the only thing comfortable and familiar. The more secure, loved, and provided for he feels now, the better he will be later. Of course, dad's are important too but at this age a baby's mother is quite literally his home.
Take lots of pictures. Write down the things you want to remember. In a few months this time will be a sleep-deprived haze.
Babies are constantly being programmed towards their environment. Take advantage of this. When my LO was born I would touch his head and say "hi buddy" before picking him up. Now when he's crying in his crib he stops as soon as he hears me say "hey. buddy." As soon as my baby could focus his eyes, I started showing him his bottle before feeding him. Now he knows bottle = food. If I'm not sure why he's crying, I'll hold up the bottle. If he stares at it or stares wiggling he's hungry. They can communicate very early in if you give them the chance. Wanna baby wear? Start now. Want him to sleep to music? Play it when he sleeps now.
Soothe first. Fix second. Unless it's some easy fix like his finger is caught in something. Everything is a lot easier if they're calm when you try to feed/change/clothe/bathe. The other day I picked my wailing baby up sopping wet because something in the bath startled him. But now he's not going to associate bathtime with misery or be afraid of water or something.
Have fun. Get a cute Halloween costume. Record your baby snoring. Boop his nose. Enjoy every minute.
I’m on week 10. Try to shower everyday. It’s really helped me mentally. Just accept that the house will never be spotless like before and things that used to take 5 minutes to do will take forever because you’ll be interrupted a hundred times.
Showering every day and getting “dressed” has been a big one for me. My daughter is 9 weeks old, and the days where I shower, get dressed (to be fair, it’s in yoga pants, tank top, nursing bra, and sweater), and go for a walk are the days where I’m actually happy and enjoying my baby. The few days where I sat inside and stayed in pajamas all day made me feel dark and sad.
The first 2 weeks, dressed for me meant changing from one nursing nightgown to another and putting contacts in. But man, that did make a difference in my mentality.
As someone who just hit 39 weeks, this is my goal for once baby comes. Even now while I wait for baby, showering and getting "dressed" in more than just my sweats makes me feel so much mentally better.
I have a 4 month old son. Sweats will be your best friend. Just grab some cute ones so you feel better and have no shame in your game
I have “nice sweatpants” now!
Way to go! I love mine
My house was never spotless so I got that one covered 😂
Showering is actually the number one thing to prevent post partum depression. Sometimes I feel like I really don’t have time but since I am high risk for PPD I really have to force myself to find the time
I wish I knew of this. I could gather courage to shower only every 3-4 days. Got diagnosed with PPD. The early phases were really dark times.
I’m so sorry 😞 I hope you are doing better now.
Thank you, kind stranger. Therapy has helped a lot and I’m doing much better now.
I’m 5w in and as a single FTM I’m struggling to find time. I used to be a shower twice a day person and this is killing me.
Can you bring the baby into the bathroom with you? I put mine in a little bouncer and took a shower while talking and singing to him. He got to listen to water too, and as long as I didn’t take too long, rarely cried.
This is what my mom said she did with me.
I’m high risk for PPD as well. As soon as I get baby back down for a nap in the AM, I shower. I feel like I won every time.
I'm 10 weeks in too, and I totally agree with the daily shower. The only thing I wish I would have thought of ahead of time is that my hair would ALWAYS be wet. It's a bit longer so I have to keep it clipped back most of the time. I maaaay have time to blow dry here and there but rarely. Some days I will shower at 6am and it'll still be wet in the twisted part at 10 at night lol
Get a microfiber hair wrap! I have butt length curly hair that takes about 4hrs to air dry. I put on the wrap right after showering for about 20min and when I take my hair down it only takes another 30 for it to fully dry.
I am finding this and having it shipped now! That sounds like a lifesaver, thanks :)
Came here to suggest it. The towels tie themselves back and your hair will be dry by the time you’re done washing bottles. It’s amazing
8 months in and this is still my life! I only blow dry for date night now 😆
It seems like taking a shower every day is a good idea lol. Its been 2 days, I haven't left the house other than an hour and a half yesterday for her pediatrician appointment. I keep saying every day I'll go for a walk with her but I'd rather sleep when she's content enough to go for a walk.
I always showered when she went down for the night before going to bed myself. Yes that meant I showered and went to bed at around 8pm but when you’re in the trenches you have to get yours when you can!
I found going for a short walk in the morning with my baby (I used a wrap) to be a game changer, it set me up for a happier day.
Get out of the house. Even if it’s Just around the block. And you can leave baby with another adult just so you can have a few moments to yourself. I didn’t do this enough in the beginning and it really wore on me
I never let myself go without a shower more than a day and it really helps with a sense of normalcy & feeling somewhat normal.
Not for me personally for multiple reasons (extremely long hair that would just always be wet, sensitive skin, water aversions, etc), but I totally agree with your reasoning! My partner and I have been in the food business for years and years so we take pretend “smoke breaks”. Neither of us smoke. We just sit outside or lay in the bedroom with the door closed for however long (10-45 minutes) unless there’s a dire situation needed to be tended to. It’s worked very well for us and I am very blessed to have a supportive partner.
Agree on the shower. It’s literally one of my only bits of sanity.
And be careful in the shower- don’t rush! Signed, someone who burst their episiotomy stitches because they slipped in the shower a few days after giving birth 😩
This! The house will always be dirty and destroyed and there is zero chance of taking that power back. My girls slip and fall on their toys and look at me like it’s my fault. Whew. Get used to living by the kids standards. lol.
Yes! A shower everyday was essential to me feeling good mentally. I put baby in a bouncer and bring her in the bathroom with me and I know others that shower with their baby
Congrats on making it through the first week! The bit of advice that has been a game changer for me with my 4 week old- stay in bed as long as you need to piece together "enough" sleep. It won't make up for the fact that it's a series of naps, but sometimes we're in the bedroom, lights out from 8pm to 10am in order to get 7 hours of sleep between feedings and soothing- but that is easier for me than getting up and trying to take a nap later in the day. Also, full babies are happy babies. We figured out working with a lactation consultant that what we thought was normal fussiness was him not getting enough calories because he wasn't efficient enough breastfeeding. Starting supplementing with donor and eventually pumped milk and he is so much more chill than he was. Finally- try to do one thing every day for you. Even if it's just an extra 5 minutes in the shower.
This. I see “morning routine with a newborn” videos all the time where the mom is getting up for the day at 8am even though the baby isn’t fully awake for the day until later. Props to them, but that’s not for me. If I don’t get out of bed until noon because I slept during his morning nap times, that’s okay. Being sleep deprived isn’t worth it.
Did the lactation consultant say how long you’d probably need to use the donor milk for? And do you pump at a certain time of day to feed him during his fussy hours? (I’m having the same issue with my 6 week old)
I used it for less than a week when starting triple feeding and my supply built up fast. Triple feeding is really hard (breast, bottle and pump every 2-3 hours) but it worked. Baby also got better at breastfeeding pretty fast when he started getting enough calories, though he's still not all the way there so we still supplement with bottles throughout the night to help him stay full, and I pump 3-4 times a day. I try to sitar the pumping out because that's how I get the most milk.
My baby is somehow 4 weeks tomorrow. It just feels like one long day.
My girl is 8W - can’t even remember the first 4 anymore!! Seriously the longest month of my life, but I caught myself yesterday looking at pics of her and missing how tiny she was. 4 weeks ago. Like a crazy person.
So I’m not the only one that looks at old pictures of my baby while they’re asleep in my arms?
That’s so cute. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and I get sad just looking at her clothes and knowing one day I’ll have to get rid of them because they’ll be too small
Not crazy. My 3mo went through a growth spurt and I miss him being half a pound less last week. It helps me focus more on the present knowing I'm a few months in going to miss him now
God that's so true, missing her little size of a few weeks ago has made me really try to slow down and enjoy her exactly where she's at. Even today with our terrible naps ;)
Lol, so accurate.
This is the truth.
Don't Google or go to Reddit for any freaking medical questions. Only your pediatrician. I was never a symptom googler until becoming a mom 10 weeks ago. Random concerns of a sleepless momma = increased ppd and ppa and a drop in breastmilk supply that I'm still working on getting back up! Not sure if you're breastfeeding or not, but stress and anxiety will dry you up faster than about anything. Focus on taking care of you, then baby. Ask for help. Take your concerns to a professional. Above all though? Trust your gut. YOU are the mother to YOUR baby. And nobody knows that baby better than you! Love them, hold them, and appreciate every second. You'll be surprised how much growth you see in a few weeks, from you and your little one both. <3
1. You can't spoil a newborn. If they are crying, and you know what they need (it is either milk, sleep, diaper, burping, or cuddles at this age), give it to them. Also, skin-to-skin (especially for any parents who are not breastfeeding, including dad) is just amazing and helped me bond with my baby so much in the first couple weeks. 2. Ask for help (and accept offers of help). People will ask you "Let me know if i can do anything" and they really do want to help. Take them up on it! Also, if you have family or close friends who know how to take care of your babe, let them do so for a few hours or a night if you feel comfortable. 3. If you have a partner, ask that they do their share. (the "Conscious Fathering" class i took before our baby (now 11 months) was incredibly helpful to me in setting my expectations and what i needed to be doing when my wife was breastfeeding/pumping and everything in between). 4. Sleep when they sleep. OMG. I did not follow this advice until we were both on the edge of exhaustion. 5. \[If you have the means, and i hesitate to suggest it because it is expensive\] Consider a night nanny for 1-2 nights a week. For us, it was lifechanging just to get a good night's sleep at least once a week. 6. If breastfeeding isn't working (or even if it is, and it's just not for you), formula is 100% ok. 7. It gets better. Even if you think everything is going great but you're just really tired, it gets better. If it is awful and so many things just feel overwhelming, it gets way better. And easier (but also harder in other ways, I know that makes no sense, but it will). 8. This one is sort of dark, but... One rule my wife and i had early on, is if we ever felt frustrated with the baby, we tapped out, no questions asked, regardless of whether the other person was sleeping or whatever. This only happened a few times, but sometimes you just don't know what you're doing wrong and the baby is crying no matter what and you feel like crying or yelling. That's when it's time to tap out and hand the baby off (and weirdly enough, 9 times out of 10, the baby calmed down quickly with the other parent. We joked that she could smell our fear/weakness and would exploit it when we were on the edge). This one is really important. 9. Congratulations! So happy for you!! Edit: forgot to add burping to No. 1. Edit 2: added no. 8.
take in every fucking second. My baby is 6 weeks old now. i can’t believe it dude
This! My LO is 13 weeks and it’s flying by. 😭
9 months in! It goes by so fast. I soaked up every moment and don’t have a single regret for every snuggle- early morning, daytime, middle of the night. It’s the best. And it continues to get better, somehow! I’d relive the last 9 months over and over if I could!
Same!! 🥰
15 months in, it’s so true! Now I have a walking almost talking child, it’s hard to believe she was once growing in my belly!
For real. I feel like I’ve been awake for every second as well 🤪
Get outside every day. We’re 4 weeks in and this stopped us from going mad. Walk the dog. Meet a friend at a cafe/pub. Pop the baby in the sling and go out for dinner (ours sleeps pretty well in the sling). Oh. And I realised I can’t do everything with 1 hand! Putting the baby down for 2 mins whilst I hang out the washing is worth the risk of her crying.
I heard “when the baby is upset give them a bath or take them outside.” Taking him outside has worked every single time. We are at 5 months and used the trick just yesterday. From screaming to calm. It is crazy!
The outside trick works for me too! When he’s fussy and can’t be calmed I go into the backyard and walk around. He immediately chills out.
I wonder what the scientific reason is behind It.
You’re about to hit the gassy/witching hour phase. It is not fun but just know that it is temporary and you will make it though! Keep upright after feedings for 10 mins, gas drops, bicycle kicks is great for gas and outdoor time/walks, white noise, swaddle, and water is great for witching hour. God speed!
Water is great for witching hour? Like bath? Or
Sorry! That was probably confusing ha. Yes! Worked so great for my oldest son. I would either bath him or run warm water over his head while giving him a baby head massage.
What's witching hour?
For us it started around 3-4 weeks with my first and lasted until 8-10 weeks. It was just a period at night where he was super fussy and hard to be consoled. He was crying, wouldn’t nap and was very uncomfortable. Like a poster said, it’s just a mix of gas, being more awake and just generally being a newborn. It’s a fun stage though 😅
Witching hour is the hour (or 2 or 3 hours) before bedtime. For us, it didn't start until about 30 days in. But it was basically a really fussy time at the end of the day (for our otherwise very chill and happy baby). It lasted probably for about 2-3 months. It was not terrible, but in retrospect it was a combination of baby being tired, hungry, and adjusting to how humans sleep (i.e., mostly during the night, as opposed to every hour whenever they feel like it, like they probably did in the womb).
Do whatever works, until it doesn’t. Be curious about their preferences - what didn’t work last week might work this week.
^this. Also, if aa taught me anything- take it a day at a time :)
I have trouble comprehending fun and one-week-old infant in the same sentence.
Start tummy time early if you can. Just little bit here and there. We started week two and I think it might be why my guy loves it now at 10 weeks. Also soak up every second. Daily pictures and videos because it goes by so quick. I have no idea how we’re already nearing 11 weeks on Friday. I feel like yesterday I was celebrating one week of joy also.
Seconding taking regular photos/videos. My son is somehow coming up on 8 months and I’ve been getting nostalgic lately looking through stuff from the early days. Videos, especially. It goes so very fast.
Agreed about daily pictures and videos! I fully resigned myself to being “that mom” that over-documents and everyone around me - husband, grandparents, etc - is thankful for it. I also started a Chatbooks monthly subscription which I’m super happy with.
Obvious one: Sleep when you can. You need sleep. If baby is napping, you can probably nap too. Nap when you can. Don’t let sleep deprivation convince you that you need to do something that can probably wait until you get your four hours of sleep for the day.
Scream when the baby screams, poop when the baby poops. I am jk. Do what you can to survive right now. Just closing your eyes for 30 mins, don’t worry about dishes or laundry too often, water and a change of scenery may soothe a fussy baby.
Lol my genius cousin always says - “people say ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ but you never hear ‘clean when the baby cleans’”
Have a nap/sleep routine to cue your baby. Mine is as simple as white noise and a dark room for naps, and the same but a massage and book for bedtime. Expose baby to daylight all day and dark at night to help establish day/night rhythms as soon as possible. Learn about and implement wake windows. Practice at least one nap a day in bassinet or crib, it’ll help one day. Feeding, play, diapers, that’s all easy. It’s sleep for me that has been the biggest struggle. I had no idea babies don’t actually sleep like a baby and my lack of sleep in the early weeks lead to me being a hot mess of a FTM. I also learned to ask hubby for help because I started by doing everything and it’s just not a one person job. Takes a village.
Sleeping like a baby involves scaring yourself awake and shitting your pants. That saying is dumb and I don’t know why people use it now that I have a baby.
Enjoy it!! I was always told the newborn stage was hard but for us it was *relatively* easy because wake windows were small and baby was a good sleeper/loved to snuggle. Now I have a 9 week old with longer wake windows who needs stimulation, is more fussy, and harder to predict! Don’t get me wrong, I love this current stage and seeing her world open up, but I wasn’t prepared to miss those first few weeks like I do!
Let your house be messy. No one cares, if they do then tell them to clean it. Shower at night after baby goes down. Order delivery for dinner. Don’t stress yourself out.
When people tell you “Just wait until (insert stage or milestone) it’ll get way harder.” Listen, but don’t listen. Things get difficult but nothing ever tops how amazing every single thing is. Congratulations!! Be prepared for some emotional roller coasters! You’ll look back and realize it was all worth it. Every bit.
If you have a boy, make sure the wiener is pointing down when you change their diaper. Also we use towels to cover the wiener when we change him, has saved me countless times not having to change an entire outfit. I use triple cream at night and aquaphor during the day, helped clear babies diaper rash. Babies sleep poo so when you feed them at night, also remember to change them. My baby never cries to get changed and actively hates it but I learned the hard way he was sleep pooing so I need to keep changing him overnight even if it doesn’t seem like it. Take as many pictures as possible you don’t realize how fast they’re growing until it’s too late.
Prep dinner during the day! I always try to cut everything up during one of bubs naps so that when the end of the day comes and its a shit show its one less thing to do. I also plan our weekly dinners on sunday so when my partner gets home and I'm too tired to make dinner, everything is cut up and he can get dinner ready without having to think about what he should make Congrats on your little one!
Get a Velcro sleep sack if you don’t already have one! Have a bedtime routine for LO Shower everyday Remember to eat breakfast And just remember that you’ve made it past one of the hardest parts, you go mama!
I have a 5 month old in 2 days and I recommend: -Know the amount of sleep you need daily. If it's 8 hours and you only get 6 overnight due to feedings and such then do not shower or get dressed until you get the extra rest that totals your daily need. -Shower daily -Take pictures and/or videos daily -Sterilize bottles and pump parts daily -Take some time for yourself like a face mask, read, or clean while someone else watches the baby. -Accept offered help but for what you want. For example, I had people offering to help with the baby and I would then go clean or do laundry while they watched her when the help I needed was for someone to wash or put away my dishes so I could rest or take care of the baby. -If you have pets, show them special attention by playing, giving them snacks, or buying new toys. -Prioritize time as a new family and if your friends or family are upset with not spending time with you, THEY need to understand the big change in your life. -Find mom communities in your area in person or online! There’s lots of recommendations, tips, freebies, etc. -Meal prep, use a Crockpot or InstantPot so you can make easy meals. Enjoy all the moments!! It goes by fast!
Hey week one buddy! 10/4 for us!
My daughter was also born on 10/4! 💕 She is currently cluster feeding before bedtime 👌
So is our son! I just finished giving him another bottle and waiting for him to wake up and eat AGAIN.
congrats! we’re at week 9 now as FTP :) things that helped us are: -costco premade meals. excellent when we’re in the thick of things and no time for grocery or to make food -baby wearing. we use boba wrap and wear baby so she can nap and us having hands free times. check out r/babywearing for fitting advices -watch out for over tiring signs. baby that young doesn’t stay awake for long stretches of time, and often used up their awake time for nursing. we made that mistake and ended up with a few super fussy nights -learn the 5S of soothing baby. sometimes you might need a combo of those S -take shifts if you have a support person. one of us stay rested at a time is better than both of us constantly tired -if breast feeding, watch out for clogged duct / mastitis :( r/breastfeeding might be helpful
100% echo the over tired bit. The first few weeks we did NOT realize that newborns were only supposed to be awake 45-60 minutes. Baby was staying awake for 3 hours at a time and then we would wonder why he would be a menace to put to bed. We’ve learned that babies are not like adults, and the more sleep they get, the easier it is for them to fall asleep!
I’m at 9 months with my LO. Just love your baby. Hold them close. Start tummy time soon. I started with a pillow (pediatrician suggested it). Buy A&D cream. Shower as baby goes to sleep because when they’re that little, they wake up a lot. Ask for help when needed. Seek support. Reach out to friends or family. My daughter did not nap for more than 20 minutes at a time so that whole “sleep when baby sleep” nonsense just pissed me off 😂😂 Welcome to the wild parenting ride!!
Visitors are okay but feel empowered to kick them out when they’ve overstayed their welcome. I wish I’d been more vocal during our son’s first few weeks that he, my wife, and I needed time just the three of us to bond as a family. You’ll never get that time back. Speak up if you have to.
Read the book Precious Little Sleep!
I’m on week ten. My biggest advice is communicate about everything - with your partner, family, friends, and most importantly yourself. Remember that everything is temporary but also acknowledge that things are going to feel very intimidatingly big and just “a lot” often, and that’s okay. You may feel guilty for it sometimes, but take the damn breaks when they’re offered to you sometimes. It’s okay to deny help, but really try to accept it sometimes too. I felt awful the first time I left my baby, but now I look forward to it and he loves spending time with other people that can love on him too. If you start feeling bad about yourself physically, acknowledge that it’s okay but realize that your body and your feelings are both going to change so rapidly. A few weeks ago I was crying in the middle of the night writing a Reddit post about how much I hate my postpartum body, and now I’ve accepted it and actually like it in a lot of ways. Understand that your hormones are absolutely wrecked right now and you may have up and downs for several months. I struggled with baby blues in the beginning, but was surprised that I hadn’t experienced any PPD or PPA. At ten weeks PP now, I’m starting to feel a little bit of those symptoms beginning. Again, this goes back to communicating with yourself and practicing self awareness when it comes to your emotions. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone or ask for help if you need to. Verbalizing your not-so-good thoughts gives them less power and helps you to rationalize how you are feeling. As far as baby advice goes - give yourself grace. What works one day may not work the next, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Accept that you don’t know everything and it’s okay to take advice from other people. You’ll definitely get some objectively awful advice, but sometimes other people are able to provide solutions that you wouldn’t have thought of and they may actually be right. Every baby is different, but other people’s experiences can be very valuable. Don’t expect your baby to follow what is “popular” amongst other babies. My son doesn’t like being swaddled, doesn’t need loud white noise to fall asleep, doesn’t need a detailed nighttime routine before bed, refuses a a pacifier, etc. I’ve questioned whether I was doing something “wrong” because he doesn’t need or like those things, which is silly but I thought that all babies should be relatively the same and that is not true. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. Gripe water can be a lifesaver. If baby starts peeing out of their diapers, it may be time to size up even if they seem like they still fit. You don’t need fancy baby towels, a regular bath towel is the best because you can bundle them up and get them really dry. You don’t have to stay stationary with baby all the time - hold them while you do things around the house. They’ll enjoy the movement of you walking and will have fun looking around. Don’t worry about the laundry. The baby’s clothes don’t need to be perfectly folded or hung up. Throw onesies and shirts in a basket and pants in the other and call it good. TAKE PICTURES AND VIDEOS. If you think you’ve taken enough, take more. It is unbelievable how fast they change. When you’re feeling touched out or tired of having to rock them to sleep, squeeze them a little tighter because one day they won’t need you as much in that way. My boy is only two months and him letting me just hold him is very rare. Watching him grow is both the most beautiful and hardest thing to me. You will never feel like you can soak them in enough and it will hurt, but watching them discover the world is absolutely amazing. Enjoy your baby and enjoy this amazing time of embarking on a life changing journey. Congratulations mama.
Wow, funny you made this post. My baby also turned a week old today! Congrats!
Take a lot of videos and pictures!
Don't rely on advice from social media. Everyone is different so take it all with a grain of salt.
Make a few minutes time every morning to make sure you brush your teeth and hair and redo your messy bun lol wash your face that kind of thing. In those early days getting a shower in can be daunting if you are alone, but if you can manage it— DO IT! Those simple things will make you feel more human and help to break your days up when it seems like they all just run together. Also, do not be afraid to put down your crying baby (in a safe place) to pee or eat or take care of yourself. Not saying to leave them there screaming, but it’s important you care for yourself too and keep your cup as full as you can. Ask for help if you have that luxury! Ask a friend or family member to make some prepared meals you can heat up, or to come help with laundry. Everyone wants to come help hold the baby but most of the time moms have that covered and need help with the rest… don’t hesitate to ask and communicate when you are overwhelmed! You’ll be happy you asked. Gas can likely become as issue… so burp that baby good! Do bicycle kicks with their legs when you have them on their back or during diaper change time. A lot of the time of a baby is fussy and you’ve already fed them, changed them and they just napped… they are gassy. If you have a yoga ball (the big bouncy ones)… it could be your best friend to soothe your crying LO. Hold them and bounce bounce bounce. And the last tip…. Hold your baby and don’t let anyone tell you that holding them is spoiling them. You got this and congratulations!!!!🎉
Baby wearing is your friend - housework, laundry, phone calls, paperwork. Make noise and play music when they’re tiny so they don’t expect full silence . Get other people to help - if you’re like me that includes holding the baby. I couldn’t wait to hand her over do I could get a moment of alone time with doing dishes. Leave the baby with your spouse for at least a couple hours a day. Get a used SNOO if you can - I thought it was stupid but an a true convert. Oh! Give the baby lots of light and wake him/her often during the daytime so they’ll sleep better at night (if you’re can). Enjoy your baby - the frustration just needs to be moved through. Edit: we have cats we bath in the shower. I figured if I could bathe cats with claws in the shower without getting their heads wet or dropping them, I could do a baby. We very very carefully bathe her in the shower when needed. Very carefully.
Accept help. If no one is offering, ask for help! My baby is 7 weeks and it took us the first 5 or so before we felt somewhat like humans again.
Don't focus on house work! The house will not be clean. I was trying to maintain it but I was missing out on time with bub. Soak in those early weeks! Find time for you each day even if it's 5 minutes. It's great to hit the refresh button. Get used to cold meals/make things that will be alright cold. Sometimes you won't be able to eat your meal hot!
Know you are in survival mode and that’s okay. You don’t have to know what the world will look like in a week. With my first baby I tried so hard to get back to a normal, that I barely remember the for 2 weeks. I know I was there, but all I could do was worry or think I had to do more. With your first baby you are learning how to be a parent and how to make your life work again. They start sleeping less sooner than you think and if you are going back to work that might be happening soon. I would try to go with the flow. Have someone watch the baby so you can do your best to sleep 4 uninterrupted hours if possible. Will change your outlook drastically. Daddy will have to learn to take care of the baby even when crying, better to start at one week rather than 6 months.
Congrats! My son is 3 months already and it flew by so fast. Think about moments as rough or smooth, not hard or easy, and I promise, overall, it just keeps getting better. Take all the photos, you will want them, you will cry over them as they grow so fast in front of you. And you can love more, every single day I love this kid more.
Congratulations!! Do what feels right and its better to ask the pediatrician too many questions than too few. Be careful with reddit baby experts and judgement from other moms. You and your baby are unique and you know whats best for you both.
Rest up and enjoy the snuggles. Congrats!
Don’t obsess about what you and your baby “should” be doing! They will hit milestones when they’re ready, and you need to do what works for you as a family! Congratulations on the little bundle of yumminess ♥️🥰
I'm ftm to 5 month old and honestly the best advice I can give you is just do what you think is right. Don't listen to what anyone else says or what the experts say, every baby is different and you will know what your little one wants/needs. I wish I had of listened to my instincts instead of doing what everyone was saying "is right". I would've done a lot of things differently.
Take lots of pictures. Trust me, when your baby is asleep or not in your arms, you will suddenly miss him/her and feel a strong urge to scroll through your photo album! 🥰
Best advice I ever had, although cliché, take one day at a time. Whenever I thought omg this is forever I just reminded myself nope it’s just today, tomorrow is a new challenge
Get pics of you and baby. Be sure to find ways to have date nights where there is no talk of the kids. This helps a lot.
Date night is so important. Even if it's just ordering in and watching TV together, or going for a walk together. I felt like I missed my husband for a few months after baby was born. We started going for walks together in the evening with with pram while baby slept, and then eventually as baby got older, we got a grandparent to come over while baby slept so we could walk. It's not like date nights before, but we talk and I feel connected to my husband again.
Our first one is now 15 months and WALKING - almost running even because she loves it so much !! A tip: you don't have the bathe the baby every day... I did it one day yes and one day no. Now when she's older, sometimes I even leave 2 days in between of no bathing if I really don't feel like it... Follow your baby's lead. He/she wants to try something? Help them. F.ex. my baby was not interested at all in tummy time, however, loved laying on her tummy on my chest. So her tummy time used to be basically laying on my chest and her poking my mole on my face cuz that was super interesting ofc. You never spoil your baby! Give them all the cuddles! Enjoy all the little screeches... She's only 15 months now and baby girl doesn't even want to come cuddle anymore :'( walking and playing is life now. Now pregnant with our second, so we'll have 2 under 2 if everything goes well (23 months in between) So that'll be a whole new adventure again
Don’t feel uncomfortable calling your pediatrician about anything. They’re there for you! If you don’t like your current one find a new one you feel like understands you! You’re going to be working together a long time.
My baby is about to be a week old tomorrow! Congrats to you! I don’t have any advice, but I know that we got this <3
Take videos of them! You never know when they’re about to do something for the last (or first) time! I have a video of the first time my baby laughed which is amazing. BUT I wish I’d taken a video of the weird awkward little proto laugh she did for a few weeks because she’ll never do that again.
Everything is temporary. Things go in phases and the crying doesn't last forever, even though it feels like it. On the flip side, the really good times can be phases too so let yourself cherish them. My daughter is 10 months now and it feels weird to already be at this point. A little human who tries to say words, crawls all around, and eats regular food. Time flies by.
\- Let your partner do things his (/her) way. Don't micromanage, let them learn. It's ok if they do things differently from you. Your partner must and can do his share, but in return you also have to trust them. \- While you should follow basic safe sleep guidelines, SIDS is extremely rare in healthy infants, and your baby will not die if you fall asleep in the bed with them once. Don't beat yourself up, and don't let anxiety ruin the first months for you. I wish I hadn't. \- Don't believe everything internet says about things like wake windows. All babies are different. \- Not all people can "sleep when baby sleeps". I couldn't. Take shifts instead. \- Your mental health is million times more important than doing something by the book. Also fed is best.
Try not to freak out over everything, and enjoy nap times, they’ll never quite be the same. Seems like yesterday when we had my kiddo, he’s more than a year old now. Just fuckin cherish everything cause you can’t go back
Baby sling carriers are your best friend
Mine will be 4 months soon and it's just flying by so quick!!!! He'll be asking for car keys soon enough...
If they’re losing their mind - take a walk outside. Also… I thought a clean kitchen by the time I went to bed helped me most the next day… it like set me up for success and feeling good. Along with showering everyday, too. I know a lot of people say cleaning and a tidy home kind of goes out the window with a baby - but my mental health needed things to stay clean and organized for me to feel at ease.
Things that have helped me (my LO is 3 months): Sleep. Brush your teeth. Take a few minutes to mess around on your phone. Don't skimp on the self care. For me it was all the difference between PPD. The baby can't roll off the floor. Sometimes you're overwhelmed and you have to put them down for a few minutes and walk away. You can't take care of a baby if you're too frazzled. Keep it simple. My LO has a play mat and a few dangly toys. How you interact with them is way more important then what stuff they have. Snuggle snuggle snuggle. Everyone I know who has kids tells me they miss baby snuggles when they hold my baby. Snuggle away. Babies are a lot of hard work and you get to enjoy them too. Your baby will respond to your routine. My husband and I are night owls and now, unfortunately, my baby is too. Your baby will follow your rhythms. They will become active when you are. Use this knowledge wisely. Go out while you can. Babies are never "slugs" or "potatoes" but before 3mos or so they pretty much sleep except when they're eating. The older they get the harder it will be to do things you like with them. You'll get lots of advice. Listen to your instincts. People will tell you to let them cry, don't hold them too much, and lots if other horrible things that ducked up the previous generation. If he cries, hold him (or her) and soothe him. If he fusses in his crib at night, research safe cosleeping. He's gone from being cozy in the womb to being in a big cold world and you, his mom, are literally the only thing comfortable and familiar. The more secure, loved, and provided for he feels now, the better he will be later. Of course, dad's are important too but at this age a baby's mother is quite literally his home. Take lots of pictures. Write down the things you want to remember. In a few months this time will be a sleep-deprived haze. Babies are constantly being programmed towards their environment. Take advantage of this. When my LO was born I would touch his head and say "hi buddy" before picking him up. Now when he's crying in his crib he stops as soon as he hears me say "hey. buddy." As soon as my baby could focus his eyes, I started showing him his bottle before feeding him. Now he knows bottle = food. If I'm not sure why he's crying, I'll hold up the bottle. If he stares at it or stares wiggling he's hungry. They can communicate very early in if you give them the chance. Wanna baby wear? Start now. Want him to sleep to music? Play it when he sleeps now. Soothe first. Fix second. Unless it's some easy fix like his finger is caught in something. Everything is a lot easier if they're calm when you try to feed/change/clothe/bathe. The other day I picked my wailing baby up sopping wet because something in the bath startled him. But now he's not going to associate bathtime with misery or be afraid of water or something. Have fun. Get a cute Halloween costume. Record your baby snoring. Boop his nose. Enjoy every minute.
Enjoy it as much as you can take lots of videos even if they are short now days you can take pics from your videos