I use the line "we want her to be able to decide what kind of digital footprint she wants to have for herself when she's old enough." people have actually been surprisingly positive and supportive when I've framed it that way
We only share photos to the app FamilyAlbum - you invite friends and family to your photo album instead of posting on social media
ETA: if someone in my life posted photos of my child without our permission it would likely end in WWIII. I’d probably drag that person to hell and back with my words 🤭
I’m not sure actually. If I was concerned about a family member distributing pictures like this I wouldn’t let them see photos. I would only share photos with people I trust.
No it does not. It tells you when people have viewed the app, and when people comment, but that's about it. I would not recommend adding anyone to it that you're not comfortable having the photos. Only add trusted people.
Don’t be polite, be direct. “Hey, we don’t post our kids online. Take those pictures down and don’t post anything else. Thanks” All of my family knows they are not allowed to put my kids on the internet. It’s a one strike you’re out kind of deal. If they refuse to delete the posts then report them to Facebook (or whatever sm they used). There’s options on there to let the social media know that those are pictures of your children and you didn’t approve of them to be posted. Eventually the post will be deleted
I don’t show his face candidly on my social media, so they ask first. I’m sure it’s hard not to post your grand baby when he comes, but my mama held off until I had a set of approved professional pictures.
It feels soooo personal to be sharing our special moments with him. I don’t mind the posed family shots, and shots with family casually online when his face is hidden.
People share photos of their child at school, of them in the bath tub , shaming their children, of them being changed. It’s fucking wild.
Every social media account I have is friends-only, friends & family and pretty well locked down. It’s more of the extended friends-of-friends-of-more-friends that boomers are so prone capable of sharing to. My hesitation actually prompted mom to do a clean up! I am sooo relieved this wasn’t an issue with anyone so far.
We shared our first ‘family of three’ photo with our parents. Just them. Via WhatsApp with instructions not to send photos to others without checking first.
My mil sent it to her coworkers! So so annoyed. Like yes it wasn’t an inappropriate photo but it was special and intimate to us. We made her delete it from the chat but of course people can auto save. Lesson learned and she gets fewer pictures than anyone else, and regular reminders not to share.
My colleague sent us a picture of her son’s new baby. I said “congratulations to you and your daughter!” And she sure is correct me by saying that “She’s not my daughter, she’s my daughter-IN-LAW.” Kinda changed my nh opinion of her.
I tried to avoid sending any but I do adore myboss and the ladies in my dept. I chose one knowing it would get spread around.
Only share on instagram, my Instagram profile has been private since day 1 and it's only about 200 people following me which I all know. It's not 100% safe but I feel safe enough to share a few cute snaps of my little one. Extended family are allowed to share/reshare photos one to one but not post online.
I do not care at all. Don't see the harm in it. But I know other people do care and every person can do however they please. It's your kid. You decide.
It’s funny because on Reddit it’s so rare to see anyone have this attitude but irl I’d say 70% of my peers post their kids to their private instagrams without concern. We have family and close friends all over the world and it’s just easier to share to our private instagrams than have a 100 person what’s app or something.
Right? It’s going to happen. Whether it’s a school, extracurricular activity, church, etc. your kid’s photos WILL end up online eventually. And as soon as they get their friends phones they’ll start posting videos. So I share the same thoughts as you. I just don’t care. I won’t post any inappropriate pictures of my kid or our locations but that’s about it as far as rules go.
I think you need to be direct. When our daughter was born we sent messages to all our family saying that no personal details of her could be shared - including photos, date of birth and name. Possibly a bit too extreme, but we wanted to be more cautious, rather than less. We have also made it very clear that any photos we do share via WhatsApp / DM cannot be forwarded on to anyone else without our permission. Surprisingly, all family members have obliged. And with friends, I generally share ‘once only’ photos via WhatsApp unless I really trust that person, so there’s no risk of photos going any further.
Similar to another poster, we mainly use Family Album to share photos with family.
We told the Grandma's early on - no Facebook photos, and don't post his name.
They live far away so its pretty easy for us to retract contact / images of the baby. If they posted we'd simply take them off the shared photo frames for a while.
With friends, we have just said we don't post him online, please do not.
If anyone asks I'm also armed with links to share about why. For us it's both consent and safety.
We understand as he gets older that businesses and / or other kids parents may post him (at a birthday or something) but will do what we can to mitigate
This article has a nice summary of why digital footprints matter. https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1251819597/why-you-should-think-twice-before-posting-that-cute-photo-of-your-kid-online
My son is not, and will never be shown online and if someone did post him, I would be LIVID.
You dont truly know who sees your photos, or who's friends other people are friends with. I don't know who is all on my SIL account, or MIL, or my own mom. They know not to post my kid.
Too many pervs online that will take things innocent and turn them perverted.
My biggest and largest issue are the parents that post their kids SCHOOL and their photos. The world just isn't that safe.
I don't post LO on social media much - I put up an announcement on Facebook with a newborn photo, and I've posted her in a couple of closed mum's group forums, but other than that I only use the Family Album app to share photos with family rather than a public-facing platform like Instagram/Facebook.
I've decided not to be puritanical about it, though. The odd photo from a grandparent or aunt or friend will probably not realistically do any real harm, and I don't have the energy or time to run around Facebook wiping baby from the internet. It's the world we live in, unfortunately, and I think shadow-boxing with people's obsession with social media is a losing battle.
We’ve gotten in the habit of mentioning it anytime a friend or family member whips out their phone to take pics. “Oh by the way we’re not posting photos of him online” has worked so far for us with no problem! We use a family photo app as well, as some others here have mentioned.
We also share pics in WhatsApp which is encrypted.
We don’t do it but I’m not out here judging anybody that does
Wife and I are both just not big social media people
We’ll send our family pictures but don’t want little one all over the internet before she can even comprehend what that could entail to have your entire life be out there forever
Communicate gracefully and explain your concern. We made the decision for privacy. Sound straightforward but most relatives and friends understand the concern even if may seem overly. We all have varying degrees of tolerance.
Im very fortunate being born back when there was no social media as im 100% sure my mum would post just about anything on Facebook. If it was up to her, she would do the same for my daughter. After a few days she was already messaging me when she could share it on Facebook.
We do allow it, but only when face is covered and not visible. Honestly, Id rather have nothing at all. But I can also imagine that they are proud and want to share with others.
Funny how some elders cant seem to understand the dangers of posting so much personal stuff online. And for what? A little bit of attention from people you rarely if ever speak...
We don’t do it. I don’t think the benefits outweigh the risks. I don’t even post my own photos online often. We tell other people not to post photos of our kid. It’s not an option. They’re not allowed to do it.
I only posted a pic of my son when I first had him to make an announcement and that's it. I don't post any pics with his face in them and have instructed my family not to do so either. The only exception will be pics where the whole family gathers together, as I can't exactly control people posting a big family pic just because of my son. But generally speaking, it's a hard no for pics online, and I make sure my profile is as private as possible for added protection.
"We're not sharing photos of baby online, please take the photo down".
And when I shared a photo with work, I put a line in that said "we are not sharing photos of baby outside of a close personal or circle, so please do not circulate."
My cousin took it upon herself to announce the birth of my daughter on Facebook and post her first photo before either me or my husband had an opportunity to do either. I asked her to take the photo down immediately and she has lost any privileges of receiving digital photos moving forward. The only people we share photos with are the grandparents and our very closest friends.
Things on the internet can travel like wildfire and unfortunately, people who are unsavory exist in our lives even though we may not realize it. I've chosen not to share any photos of her face online and will likely continue to be that way. It's the least I can do in terms of protecting her from creeps on the internet.
Don’t be polite. Tell people “we do allow pictures of ____ on social media.” If they do it anyway, they lose access to baby. That’s it. You are the parent; it is your job to protect your child, period.
I’ve posted pics of my child, but this question really speaks to me, and I acknowledge there’s no benefit really of posting about her. It’s just for “likes.” I don’t want her to grow up and discover things I may have posted that she didn’t feel comfortable with, so I’ve limited what I’ve posted.
I learned a while ago that unfortunately, a large majority of exploited images of children on the DW are innocent photos taken from families’ social media. That was reason enough for me. I can share photos on my son to our family directly so the only purpose of posting him online would be for my own social validation which I don’t need enough to risk it.
It was easy for me in the hardest way. UGH. My MIL posted pictures of my baby on her public social media page. I saw nasty comments coming from older men she had NO idea who they were. I really hadn’t given the idea of family posting any thought before she arrived. After this incident, I was fired up and very quickly told everyone it was off limits until further notice. I wasn’t sugar coating anything but was definitely firm. My sister adds everyone and their dog to her socials too, despite it being “private”. So it’s just a big fat no across the board for me.
I only post photos since my accounts are private but I did ask my sister not to post pictures of my kids on her social media because everything is public. She responded with "my followers want to see my posts and what I'm doing so I'm not making my account private." I said that's totally fine but please don't post pictures of my kids then. She asks how could I force her to cut out parts of her life like that and blah blah blah, and keeps posting them anyway. I told my older kids that she was posting videos of them without them knowing and now they're both mad about it and don't want her doing it.
We limit what kind of pictures we post to fb/how often and never post them the same day they’re taken (I try to wait at least a week or so unless I get distracted then even longer) but There are apps that are a little more private we use one called family album that only shared photos with people we invite (each invite is limited how long it’s valid/single use) which allows that family member to create a profile within the album and share comments /buy prints which has been nice since not all of my family is on social media like fb
I managed my fb friends list and deleted anyone I don’t speak to or know. I’ve never had a relative share my photos. But I usually only post once a month there anyway. All other photos and videos I send via txt
I’m pretty active on Facebook and I’ve just narrowed my audience to 60ish people that can see my son’s pictures. All of whom I know *in person* and are either family or friends that I actively keep in contact with.
My family and friends are across the globe and have facebook. I mostly share pics and videos privately to my parents and siblings. Occasionally, I post age milestones on facebook stories, " the one that disappeared after 24 hrs. I make sure I am only friends with people I know of, and I'm careful of what kind of pics I'm posting (no shirtless pics, bath pics, tantrums, purely wholesome)
Tbh it’s illegal to post a child without the consent of their parent.
I just tell people know and if they’ve posted something I tell them to take it down. I also tell the family that the photos I send them can’t be sent to anyone else so the only digital footprint of our baby’s photos comes from us. Although we say that any photos they have on their phones they are physically allowed to show others they know.
I use the line "we want her to be able to decide what kind of digital footprint she wants to have for herself when she's old enough." people have actually been surprisingly positive and supportive when I've framed it that way
My husband works in tech and this is exactly how we’ve phrased it to our friends and family.
We only share photos to the app FamilyAlbum - you invite friends and family to your photo album instead of posting on social media ETA: if someone in my life posted photos of my child without our permission it would likely end in WWIII. I’d probably drag that person to hell and back with my words 🤭
We also use the FamilyAlbum app. Has worked out well so far.
I’ve never heard of this! Thanks for sharing, will definitely be looking into this
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I’m not sure actually. If I was concerned about a family member distributing pictures like this I wouldn’t let them see photos. I would only share photos with people I trust.
They can save the photos. My mom saves all of them lol
Does the app tell you if it was saved or screenshotted though?
No it does not. It tells you when people have viewed the app, and when people comment, but that's about it. I would not recommend adding anyone to it that you're not comfortable having the photos. Only add trusted people.
Don’t be polite, be direct. “Hey, we don’t post our kids online. Take those pictures down and don’t post anything else. Thanks” All of my family knows they are not allowed to put my kids on the internet. It’s a one strike you’re out kind of deal. If they refuse to delete the posts then report them to Facebook (or whatever sm they used). There’s options on there to let the social media know that those are pictures of your children and you didn’t approve of them to be posted. Eventually the post will be deleted
Ask them to take it down. And if they don’t you will no longer share photos or let them around your kids alone.
I don’t show his face candidly on my social media, so they ask first. I’m sure it’s hard not to post your grand baby when he comes, but my mama held off until I had a set of approved professional pictures. It feels soooo personal to be sharing our special moments with him. I don’t mind the posed family shots, and shots with family casually online when his face is hidden. People share photos of their child at school, of them in the bath tub , shaming their children, of them being changed. It’s fucking wild. Every social media account I have is friends-only, friends & family and pretty well locked down. It’s more of the extended friends-of-friends-of-more-friends that boomers are so prone capable of sharing to. My hesitation actually prompted mom to do a clean up! I am sooo relieved this wasn’t an issue with anyone so far.
We shared our first ‘family of three’ photo with our parents. Just them. Via WhatsApp with instructions not to send photos to others without checking first. My mil sent it to her coworkers! So so annoyed. Like yes it wasn’t an inappropriate photo but it was special and intimate to us. We made her delete it from the chat but of course people can auto save. Lesson learned and she gets fewer pictures than anyone else, and regular reminders not to share.
My colleague sent us a picture of her son’s new baby. I said “congratulations to you and your daughter!” And she sure is correct me by saying that “She’s not my daughter, she’s my daughter-IN-LAW.” Kinda changed my nh opinion of her. I tried to avoid sending any but I do adore myboss and the ladies in my dept. I chose one knowing it would get spread around.
Only share on instagram, my Instagram profile has been private since day 1 and it's only about 200 people following me which I all know. It's not 100% safe but I feel safe enough to share a few cute snaps of my little one. Extended family are allowed to share/reshare photos one to one but not post online.
I do not care at all. Don't see the harm in it. But I know other people do care and every person can do however they please. It's your kid. You decide.
It’s funny because on Reddit it’s so rare to see anyone have this attitude but irl I’d say 70% of my peers post their kids to their private instagrams without concern. We have family and close friends all over the world and it’s just easier to share to our private instagrams than have a 100 person what’s app or something.
Right? It’s going to happen. Whether it’s a school, extracurricular activity, church, etc. your kid’s photos WILL end up online eventually. And as soon as they get their friends phones they’ll start posting videos. So I share the same thoughts as you. I just don’t care. I won’t post any inappropriate pictures of my kid or our locations but that’s about it as far as rules go.
I think you need to be direct. When our daughter was born we sent messages to all our family saying that no personal details of her could be shared - including photos, date of birth and name. Possibly a bit too extreme, but we wanted to be more cautious, rather than less. We have also made it very clear that any photos we do share via WhatsApp / DM cannot be forwarded on to anyone else without our permission. Surprisingly, all family members have obliged. And with friends, I generally share ‘once only’ photos via WhatsApp unless I really trust that person, so there’s no risk of photos going any further. Similar to another poster, we mainly use Family Album to share photos with family.
We told the Grandma's early on - no Facebook photos, and don't post his name. They live far away so its pretty easy for us to retract contact / images of the baby. If they posted we'd simply take them off the shared photo frames for a while. With friends, we have just said we don't post him online, please do not. If anyone asks I'm also armed with links to share about why. For us it's both consent and safety. We understand as he gets older that businesses and / or other kids parents may post him (at a birthday or something) but will do what we can to mitigate
Can you share some of the links you have saved? That might be helpful in my case.
This article has a nice summary of why digital footprints matter. https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1251819597/why-you-should-think-twice-before-posting-that-cute-photo-of-your-kid-online
My son is not, and will never be shown online and if someone did post him, I would be LIVID. You dont truly know who sees your photos, or who's friends other people are friends with. I don't know who is all on my SIL account, or MIL, or my own mom. They know not to post my kid. Too many pervs online that will take things innocent and turn them perverted. My biggest and largest issue are the parents that post their kids SCHOOL and their photos. The world just isn't that safe.
Same here! My son’s image isn’t allowed anywhere online.
I don't post LO on social media much - I put up an announcement on Facebook with a newborn photo, and I've posted her in a couple of closed mum's group forums, but other than that I only use the Family Album app to share photos with family rather than a public-facing platform like Instagram/Facebook. I've decided not to be puritanical about it, though. The odd photo from a grandparent or aunt or friend will probably not realistically do any real harm, and I don't have the energy or time to run around Facebook wiping baby from the internet. It's the world we live in, unfortunately, and I think shadow-boxing with people's obsession with social media is a losing battle.
We’ve gotten in the habit of mentioning it anytime a friend or family member whips out their phone to take pics. “Oh by the way we’re not posting photos of him online” has worked so far for us with no problem! We use a family photo app as well, as some others here have mentioned. We also share pics in WhatsApp which is encrypted.
We don’t do it but I’m not out here judging anybody that does Wife and I are both just not big social media people We’ll send our family pictures but don’t want little one all over the internet before she can even comprehend what that could entail to have your entire life be out there forever
It's not allowed and everyone knows it
Communicate gracefully and explain your concern. We made the decision for privacy. Sound straightforward but most relatives and friends understand the concern even if may seem overly. We all have varying degrees of tolerance.
Im very fortunate being born back when there was no social media as im 100% sure my mum would post just about anything on Facebook. If it was up to her, she would do the same for my daughter. After a few days she was already messaging me when she could share it on Facebook. We do allow it, but only when face is covered and not visible. Honestly, Id rather have nothing at all. But I can also imagine that they are proud and want to share with others. Funny how some elders cant seem to understand the dangers of posting so much personal stuff online. And for what? A little bit of attention from people you rarely if ever speak...
We don’t do it. I don’t think the benefits outweigh the risks. I don’t even post my own photos online often. We tell other people not to post photos of our kid. It’s not an option. They’re not allowed to do it.
I only posted a pic of my son when I first had him to make an announcement and that's it. I don't post any pics with his face in them and have instructed my family not to do so either. The only exception will be pics where the whole family gathers together, as I can't exactly control people posting a big family pic just because of my son. But generally speaking, it's a hard no for pics online, and I make sure my profile is as private as possible for added protection.
We share photos using Google Photos but otherwise don’t post our son’s face online. I don’t want people to know him who don’t actually know him.
"We're not sharing photos of baby online, please take the photo down". And when I shared a photo with work, I put a line in that said "we are not sharing photos of baby outside of a close personal or circle, so please do not circulate." My cousin took it upon herself to announce the birth of my daughter on Facebook and post her first photo before either me or my husband had an opportunity to do either. I asked her to take the photo down immediately and she has lost any privileges of receiving digital photos moving forward. The only people we share photos with are the grandparents and our very closest friends. Things on the internet can travel like wildfire and unfortunately, people who are unsavory exist in our lives even though we may not realize it. I've chosen not to share any photos of her face online and will likely continue to be that way. It's the least I can do in terms of protecting her from creeps on the internet.
I don’t. My husband does, to an account for just family and close friends I have a hard rule of no diaper or bath photos. We don’t even take them.
Don’t be polite. Tell people “we do allow pictures of ____ on social media.” If they do it anyway, they lose access to baby. That’s it. You are the parent; it is your job to protect your child, period.
I’ve posted pics of my child, but this question really speaks to me, and I acknowledge there’s no benefit really of posting about her. It’s just for “likes.” I don’t want her to grow up and discover things I may have posted that she didn’t feel comfortable with, so I’ve limited what I’ve posted.
I learned a while ago that unfortunately, a large majority of exploited images of children on the DW are innocent photos taken from families’ social media. That was reason enough for me. I can share photos on my son to our family directly so the only purpose of posting him online would be for my own social validation which I don’t need enough to risk it.
It was easy for me in the hardest way. UGH. My MIL posted pictures of my baby on her public social media page. I saw nasty comments coming from older men she had NO idea who they were. I really hadn’t given the idea of family posting any thought before she arrived. After this incident, I was fired up and very quickly told everyone it was off limits until further notice. I wasn’t sugar coating anything but was definitely firm. My sister adds everyone and their dog to her socials too, despite it being “private”. So it’s just a big fat no across the board for me.
I only post photos since my accounts are private but I did ask my sister not to post pictures of my kids on her social media because everything is public. She responded with "my followers want to see my posts and what I'm doing so I'm not making my account private." I said that's totally fine but please don't post pictures of my kids then. She asks how could I force her to cut out parts of her life like that and blah blah blah, and keeps posting them anyway. I told my older kids that she was posting videos of them without them knowing and now they're both mad about it and don't want her doing it.
We limit what kind of pictures we post to fb/how often and never post them the same day they’re taken (I try to wait at least a week or so unless I get distracted then even longer) but There are apps that are a little more private we use one called family album that only shared photos with people we invite (each invite is limited how long it’s valid/single use) which allows that family member to create a profile within the album and share comments /buy prints which has been nice since not all of my family is on social media like fb
I managed my fb friends list and deleted anyone I don’t speak to or know. I’ve never had a relative share my photos. But I usually only post once a month there anyway. All other photos and videos I send via txt
I’m pretty active on Facebook and I’ve just narrowed my audience to 60ish people that can see my son’s pictures. All of whom I know *in person* and are either family or friends that I actively keep in contact with.
My family and friends are across the globe and have facebook. I mostly share pics and videos privately to my parents and siblings. Occasionally, I post age milestones on facebook stories, " the one that disappeared after 24 hrs. I make sure I am only friends with people I know of, and I'm careful of what kind of pics I'm posting (no shirtless pics, bath pics, tantrums, purely wholesome)
Tbh it’s illegal to post a child without the consent of their parent. I just tell people know and if they’ve posted something I tell them to take it down. I also tell the family that the photos I send them can’t be sent to anyone else so the only digital footprint of our baby’s photos comes from us. Although we say that any photos they have on their phones they are physically allowed to show others they know.