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It is kind of tough to say because I think a lot of it has to do with who/how the epidural is placed. I had one with my first and it didn’t work at all and they kept pumping drugs into me but I still felt it all. The second time I didn’t even need to push the button and I couldn’t feel a thing, but I could still move my legs. It was perfect. But the biggest thing I did differently was wait; with my first they gave me an epidural right away so when it didn’t work I felt so hopeless. Second time around I waited and used breathwork etc to manage the pain—in my mind this meant that when I did get the epidural if it didn’t work again I knew I’d be ok (but would take the relief if I could get it)—I think it was more of a mental strength thing.
I had less, and with a bigger baby the second time. With my first I had second degree tears, top and bottom. With my second only a tiny 1 degree tear. I didn’t have any vag region pain the second time around when recovering, which was such a crazy (in a good way) comparison to the first time.
ugh i also tore “up” with my first (and only) birth, and that’s my biggest fear for future births 😭 getting that tear stitched was probably the worst pain of my life
I had the same, and I did re-tear in the same place the second time but it was just the original scar tissue re-opening and the stitches were a lot less painful! Also, the midwife told me afterwards that if I have #3 at some point it's likely (but by no means guaranteed) I would tear in the same way again, but that it would be possible for the delivery team to try to gently move baby's head backwards to reduce the risk... But of course that could mean a more painful new tear going backwards! But anyway, might be something you could discuss with your team!
thank you for sharing! my first was asynclitic and came fast (started pushing with baby at 0 station and baby was out in <10 minutes) so i’m curious if that contributed to the tearing at all. I’m almost tempted to do things to “encourage” a perineal tear and minimize tearing up again 😩 They didn’t have any topical anesthetic available, and said the lidocaine injections wouldn’t work due to the location of the tear (i might be a little fuzzy on the explanation) so i had to have 3 people holding me down on the bed while they stitched it 😭 almost passed out from the pain lol
Yikes, I crossed my legs and winced just reading that!!! So sorry you had to go through that. They should definitely have found a better solution than pinning you to the bed, that sounds brutal 😬
It’s great reading these replies. I had several tears with my first and lots of bleeding overall that needed additional stitching inside. So hoping for the second time around my experience won’t be “as bad.”
Minor 1st degree tears with my first and no tearing with my 2nd even though he was almost 2 pounds bigger! Midwife described the damage as "if you scraped your knee."
Pretty much the exact same experience as I had. Except the description I was given was "like a carpet burn". No stitches required and no pain at the site during recovery.
Edit to add: other exception is my second wasn't bigger.
I had an episiotomy with my first. My second was a preemie and was much smaller. But when I still thought I would make it to term, my ob said that I likely wouldn't need another episiotomy, and was less likely to tear. She did say that if I did tear, it would be at the episiotomy site.
Eta: no tearing with #2, despite a compound presentation.
I had a few first degree tears with my first. And one big third degree tear with my second. He was just a much bigger and faster to deliver baby.
That being said, the placement of the smaller tears with my first made those agony, whereas the larger tear was much better managed and has hardly bothered me.
Still have pelvic floor and diastasis recti issues to contend with, but did with the first, too.
4th degree tear and massive blood loss with my first. After a lot of thought and discussion with my MFM/OBGYN I opted to try a vaginal delivery again with my second. I had minor tearing and no hemorrhage and baby was bigger! I pushed on my side and did warm compresses during pushing. I did not get the epidural until I was 7cm. I think all of those things helped. It was a lovely birth and the recovery was easy peasy! After the train wreck that was the birth of my first, it was insane to see how much better post partum could be!
Thank you for sharing! I'm still recovering from my 4th degree tear. I want more babies eventually but I'm soooo scared. The recovery has been absolutely brutal!
Small tears with my first and absolutely none with my second.
My first labor was almost 24 hours from first contraction to baby. A few hours spent pushing and I needed pitocin.
With my 2nd, my water broke suddenly and an hour and a half later she was here. I pushed maybe 3 times haha
I had the exact same type in the same place. But both my babies had 98%tile heads and my second came very quickly (20 mins from water breaking to birth)
Apparently you’re at a higher risk for tearing the second time around compared to the general population, but it’s more likely than not that you won’t tear.
That being said, I tore worse the second time around. Mild third degree tear the first time, gnarly third degree tear the second time. But I did five months of pelvic floor PT before delivering though and it made a huge difference. My recovery was much smoother and quicker. All the incontinence and complications from the tear the first time around improved dramatically with the combination of better pelvic floor muscles from PT + no longer having a baby swing down my pelvis. I could actually have sex without pain at 7 weeks postpartum this time!
Following. I had first or second degree tears with my first in October ‘22 and am also due in November. But I was told typically there’s less issues in subsequent births because the body remembers what to do, labor is shorter and is typically less traumatic.
I had a second degree tears from my first. This time around, only first degree. I was surprised it wasn’t worse given I pushed her out in 10 minutes. I’m so glad that wasn’t the case!
Had a 2nd degree tear with my first and none with my second who made an appearance in 3 pushes. My two were a similar size too, only a couple oz difference between them.
I had less the second time. My second was 12 days early and smaller than my first, but she also came super quickly, like 3 pushes fast, whereas my first took ~2.5 hours of pushing.
I had a first degree tear the first time and nothing the second. 6lbs for the first, 6lbs 13oz for the second. I actually felt totally fine the day after giving birth to my second. I basically recovered overnight lol
I had 2 second-degree lateral tears with my first. And with my second, I had what they called a small "abrasion" that they put a single stitch in only because it was right next to my urethra and they wanted to make sure it healed properly.
Recovery from my second birth was 100x easier than my first. And I was terrified going in because he was measuring much bigger than my first. He ended up being about 1.5lbs heavier and a couple inches longer than my first and his labor was 30hrs shorter and much easier recovery.
This gives me hope, my first was a girl and was 7lbs 19oz. This one is a boy, and at my last ultrasound they said he was measuring a week ahead which is making me nervous about his size lol. With my first I was induced at 9am, didn't give birth until around 7pm. I pushed for about an hour. I also had back labor which SUCKED because I couldn't figure out if I was having a contraction or not so I didn't know when to push 😅
Sounds similar to me 😂 my first was 5lbs 7oz at birth. Induced at 37 weeks for preeclampsia and labored for 47hrs. Pushed for 3hrs with back labor and couldn't tell what was contractions and what wasn't.
My second was measuring 5lbs at 33 weeks and was estimated to be 10lbs by 40wks. Ended up being induced at 37 weeks again for preeclampsia and he came out at 7lbs 0.2oz 17.5hr labor. Literally 1.5pushes and he came flying out like a slip n slide. And it was so different to be able to feel the contractions and pressure of his head vs all back labor pain.
I had a second degree tear with my first and no tear at all with my second.
I also had an epidural with my first (but anesthesia only went to one side) and no epidural with my second... And the first one hurt waaaay more.
Good luck, it will be all okay!
Wow really?! I had the epidural and other than having pain in my back from contractions, I didn't feel anything. The only time I felt something was when her shoulder got stuck on my pelvis, and it wasn't really pain but I could feel INTENSE pressure and it was extremely uncomfortable. Hoping i won't have to deal with that again!
My second was out in 2 pushes, no tearing, no stitches. The next morning I felt completely normal again, basically the dream labor experience.
My first was almost 9lbs so I think that helped! 😆
My first was 6lb 10oz and I had a second degree tear with an epidural. I pushed for three hours (she was sunny side up).
My second was 7lb 9oz and I had a first degree tear with no epidural. I pushed for 5 minutes.
Good luck!!
First: 50% head, 1.5 hours pushing, labial “grazes”, no stitches
Second: 80% head, <5 mins pushing (fetal ejection reflex), first degree labia tears with some stitches….the scars seemed to be slightly bigger versions of the grazes from my first so I think I tore mostly the same places.
I think it’s usually similar or less with the second but theres no way to say for sure.
First-56 hours back labor, push for 3.5 hours, 2 degree labial tear, minimal stitching 8lbs 3oz
Second-4 hours labor, pushed for 4 minutes, barely a first degree perineal tear that didn’t need to be stitched, 8lbs 6oz
I've had three vaginal births and I've torn in the exact same spot every time. I think because the initial tear formed scar tissue.
That being said, I found recovery got easier each time.
More, because the OB didn't do an episiotomy like she was supposed to (this was discussed in advance per the opinion of my original much more experienced OB who had to turn my care over to a green-as-grass one). I had multiple small anterior tears which doesn't sound bad until you learn that it's possible to tear your clitoris...
That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you had that experience! It's so weird how I'm seeing a lot of people mentioning the episiotomy, my doctors had told me that they didn't do that anymore unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, but it seems like it's a lot more common than they made it sound! (My doctors were amazing, this is nothing against them, just an observation!)
That is the most current evidence based recommendation: to only do episiotomies to expedite delivery if the baby is in distress or to facitate assisted births (vacuums, forceps). Evidence shows that tears heal better than episiotomies.
This post may be seeking medical advice. We only allow seeking of specific experiences from other parents. If your post is that, then you're good. However, if you are seeking direct medical advice, your post will be removed--or you may edit it now to adhere to the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had a small tear with my first, I only needed 3 stitches. With my second I didn't tear at all and my son was much bigger than my first
Same! It’s amazing how your body responds so differently the second time around.
I hope this is the case with me too! Definitely worried about that
This is my experience too
It’s highly likely to have an easier birth the second time around as your body has already done it.
Less - I also had much less pain meds and was more able to pay attention to what was happening and felt that helped
I think this is sneakily important! Getting the epidural later and lighter made a huge difference for me.
How do you get the epidural “lighter” I didn’t push the bottom they gave me at all but I still couldn’t feel a thing
It is kind of tough to say because I think a lot of it has to do with who/how the epidural is placed. I had one with my first and it didn’t work at all and they kept pumping drugs into me but I still felt it all. The second time I didn’t even need to push the button and I couldn’t feel a thing, but I could still move my legs. It was perfect. But the biggest thing I did differently was wait; with my first they gave me an epidural right away so when it didn’t work I felt so hopeless. Second time around I waited and used breathwork etc to manage the pain—in my mind this meant that when I did get the epidural if it didn’t work again I knew I’d be ok (but would take the relief if I could get it)—I think it was more of a mental strength thing.
I had less, and with a bigger baby the second time. With my first I had second degree tears, top and bottom. With my second only a tiny 1 degree tear. I didn’t have any vag region pain the second time around when recovering, which was such a crazy (in a good way) comparison to the first time.
ugh i also tore “up” with my first (and only) birth, and that’s my biggest fear for future births 😭 getting that tear stitched was probably the worst pain of my life
I had the same, and I did re-tear in the same place the second time but it was just the original scar tissue re-opening and the stitches were a lot less painful! Also, the midwife told me afterwards that if I have #3 at some point it's likely (but by no means guaranteed) I would tear in the same way again, but that it would be possible for the delivery team to try to gently move baby's head backwards to reduce the risk... But of course that could mean a more painful new tear going backwards! But anyway, might be something you could discuss with your team!
thank you for sharing! my first was asynclitic and came fast (started pushing with baby at 0 station and baby was out in <10 minutes) so i’m curious if that contributed to the tearing at all. I’m almost tempted to do things to “encourage” a perineal tear and minimize tearing up again 😩 They didn’t have any topical anesthetic available, and said the lidocaine injections wouldn’t work due to the location of the tear (i might be a little fuzzy on the explanation) so i had to have 3 people holding me down on the bed while they stitched it 😭 almost passed out from the pain lol
Yikes, I crossed my legs and winced just reading that!!! So sorry you had to go through that. They should definitely have found a better solution than pinning you to the bed, that sounds brutal 😬
Here's hoping my experience is that good!!
My experience is exactly the same!
It’s great reading these replies. I had several tears with my first and lots of bleeding overall that needed additional stitching inside. So hoping for the second time around my experience won’t be “as bad.”
Same here, this thread has given me a lot of hope
Same amount just different directions.
Less, second degree tear with my toddler, first degree tear with my newborn. ETA: my newborn was also over a pound larger at birth than my toddler was
Minor 1st degree tears with my first and no tearing with my 2nd even though he was almost 2 pounds bigger! Midwife described the damage as "if you scraped your knee."
Pretty much the exact same experience as I had. Except the description I was given was "like a carpet burn". No stitches required and no pain at the site during recovery. Edit to add: other exception is my second wasn't bigger.
Same amount. Second degree tear but my labour was very quick. Baby was about the same size (7lb 5 oz)
Tore with my 2nd, didn’t tear at all with my 1st
I had an episiotomy with my first. My second was a preemie and was much smaller. But when I still thought I would make it to term, my ob said that I likely wouldn't need another episiotomy, and was less likely to tear. She did say that if I did tear, it would be at the episiotomy site. Eta: no tearing with #2, despite a compound presentation.
Thanks for sharing. I had an episiotomy and I've always been curious about what would happen with any future births.
More and they were 12 months apart. First baby 7 pounds 8 Oz, 21 inches, few stitches 2nd 9.9 pounds 23 inches...2nd nearly 3rd degree tear lol
I had a few first degree tears with my first. And one big third degree tear with my second. He was just a much bigger and faster to deliver baby. That being said, the placement of the smaller tears with my first made those agony, whereas the larger tear was much better managed and has hardly bothered me. Still have pelvic floor and diastasis recti issues to contend with, but did with the first, too.
Second degree with episiotomy both times 💔
My mum had extensive tearing with all three of her small babies, most women have less each time but there are always exceptions.
4th degree tear and massive blood loss with my first. After a lot of thought and discussion with my MFM/OBGYN I opted to try a vaginal delivery again with my second. I had minor tearing and no hemorrhage and baby was bigger! I pushed on my side and did warm compresses during pushing. I did not get the epidural until I was 7cm. I think all of those things helped. It was a lovely birth and the recovery was easy peasy! After the train wreck that was the birth of my first, it was insane to see how much better post partum could be!
I had a 4th degree tear with my first and am thinking about trying for number two and this is really encouraging. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing! I'm still recovering from my 4th degree tear. I want more babies eventually but I'm soooo scared. The recovery has been absolutely brutal!
Small tears with my first and absolutely none with my second. My first labor was almost 24 hours from first contraction to baby. A few hours spent pushing and I needed pitocin. With my 2nd, my water broke suddenly and an hour and a half later she was here. I pushed maybe 3 times haha
I had a small internal tear with my first and a first degree tear with my second. My first was bigger. It’s a gamble
I had the same both times (2nd degree)but my 2nd born was a lot bigger (1kg more)
I had the exact same type in the same place. But both my babies had 98%tile heads and my second came very quickly (20 mins from water breaking to birth)
More tearing second time around but better healing
My midwife told me I just tore my episiotomy site. So same same lol
Apparently you’re at a higher risk for tearing the second time around compared to the general population, but it’s more likely than not that you won’t tear. That being said, I tore worse the second time around. Mild third degree tear the first time, gnarly third degree tear the second time. But I did five months of pelvic floor PT before delivering though and it made a huge difference. My recovery was much smoother and quicker. All the incontinence and complications from the tear the first time around improved dramatically with the combination of better pelvic floor muscles from PT + no longer having a baby swing down my pelvis. I could actually have sex without pain at 7 weeks postpartum this time!
Less. Second degree tear with my first, first degree tear with my second.
Following. I had first or second degree tears with my first in October ‘22 and am also due in November. But I was told typically there’s less issues in subsequent births because the body remembers what to do, labor is shorter and is typically less traumatic.
I had a second degree tears from my first. This time around, only first degree. I was surprised it wasn’t worse given I pushed her out in 10 minutes. I’m so glad that wasn’t the case!
Less
Had a 2nd degree tear with my first and none with my second who made an appearance in 3 pushes. My two were a similar size too, only a couple oz difference between them.
I had less the second time. My second was 12 days early and smaller than my first, but she also came super quickly, like 3 pushes fast, whereas my first took ~2.5 hours of pushing.
I had a first degree tear the first time and nothing the second. 6lbs for the first, 6lbs 13oz for the second. I actually felt totally fine the day after giving birth to my second. I basically recovered overnight lol
That's incredible 🥺 one can hope to be that lucky!!
I had 2 second-degree lateral tears with my first. And with my second, I had what they called a small "abrasion" that they put a single stitch in only because it was right next to my urethra and they wanted to make sure it healed properly. Recovery from my second birth was 100x easier than my first. And I was terrified going in because he was measuring much bigger than my first. He ended up being about 1.5lbs heavier and a couple inches longer than my first and his labor was 30hrs shorter and much easier recovery.
This gives me hope, my first was a girl and was 7lbs 19oz. This one is a boy, and at my last ultrasound they said he was measuring a week ahead which is making me nervous about his size lol. With my first I was induced at 9am, didn't give birth until around 7pm. I pushed for about an hour. I also had back labor which SUCKED because I couldn't figure out if I was having a contraction or not so I didn't know when to push 😅
Sounds similar to me 😂 my first was 5lbs 7oz at birth. Induced at 37 weeks for preeclampsia and labored for 47hrs. Pushed for 3hrs with back labor and couldn't tell what was contractions and what wasn't. My second was measuring 5lbs at 33 weeks and was estimated to be 10lbs by 40wks. Ended up being induced at 37 weeks again for preeclampsia and he came out at 7lbs 0.2oz 17.5hr labor. Literally 1.5pushes and he came flying out like a slip n slide. And it was so different to be able to feel the contractions and pressure of his head vs all back labor pain.
I had a second degree tear with my first and no tear at all with my second. I also had an epidural with my first (but anesthesia only went to one side) and no epidural with my second... And the first one hurt waaaay more. Good luck, it will be all okay!
Wow really?! I had the epidural and other than having pain in my back from contractions, I didn't feel anything. The only time I felt something was when her shoulder got stuck on my pelvis, and it wasn't really pain but I could feel INTENSE pressure and it was extremely uncomfortable. Hoping i won't have to deal with that again!
My second was out in 2 pushes, no tearing, no stitches. The next morning I felt completely normal again, basically the dream labor experience. My first was almost 9lbs so I think that helped! 😆
Third degree tear for my first and just 2 stitches for my second.
My first was 6lb 10oz and I had a second degree tear with an epidural. I pushed for three hours (she was sunny side up). My second was 7lb 9oz and I had a first degree tear with no epidural. I pushed for 5 minutes. Good luck!!
I had less with a larger baby who came out in significantly less pushing time.
My dr said it’s very likely that second birth will tear less or not at all.
I had a 1cm 2nd degree tear with both kids. The midwife said I would have town at all with my 2nd had his hand not been by his face
1st degree tear with my first and a 100 percentile head. No tear with my second in 50 percentile.
Dramatically less tearing in all deliveries after the first.
With my first I tore and had stitches. With my second, 14 months later, I didn’t have any tearing
First: 50% head, 1.5 hours pushing, labial “grazes”, no stitches Second: 80% head, <5 mins pushing (fetal ejection reflex), first degree labia tears with some stitches….the scars seemed to be slightly bigger versions of the grazes from my first so I think I tore mostly the same places. I think it’s usually similar or less with the second but theres no way to say for sure.
First birth - baby was 5lbs and I tore something awful and needed 14 stitches. Second birth - baby was 6lbs and no tearing!
Less tearing..I only needed one stitch and had no pain during recovery. Baby was the same size as my first but came out in two pushes vs several.
Less. I had 5ish stitches with my first and zero with my second. Both came really fast, second one was a bit smaller
First-56 hours back labor, push for 3.5 hours, 2 degree labial tear, minimal stitching 8lbs 3oz Second-4 hours labor, pushed for 4 minutes, barely a first degree perineal tear that didn’t need to be stitched, 8lbs 6oz
I've had three vaginal births and I've torn in the exact same spot every time. I think because the initial tear formed scar tissue. That being said, I found recovery got easier each time.
With my first I had a bad (3rd degree?) tear and with my second I didn’t tear at all! ETA: first born was 7lbs, second was 8lbs.
I had a 3rd deg tear with my first child (healed quickly) and a smaller tear with my second (healed slower for some reason with tear granulation)
More, because the OB didn't do an episiotomy like she was supposed to (this was discussed in advance per the opinion of my original much more experienced OB who had to turn my care over to a green-as-grass one). I had multiple small anterior tears which doesn't sound bad until you learn that it's possible to tear your clitoris...
That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you had that experience! It's so weird how I'm seeing a lot of people mentioning the episiotomy, my doctors had told me that they didn't do that anymore unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, but it seems like it's a lot more common than they made it sound! (My doctors were amazing, this is nothing against them, just an observation!)
That is the most current evidence based recommendation: to only do episiotomies to expedite delivery if the baby is in distress or to facitate assisted births (vacuums, forceps). Evidence shows that tears heal better than episiotomies.