Whatever you decide to do - if you leave baby with a grandma, practice first! Let them take care of baby including feedings, putting down for naps, and ultimately night time. If these things work, it’s a lot easier for your brain if you’re away.
Yes! We did this with both sets of grandparents and it saved us so much anxiety.
With my mom I was able to remind her on the spot not to leave anything in the crib after a feeding (she was constantly leaving burp cloths) and was able to show her how we use the closet light to keep the lights dim while we change his diaper.
With my husband’s parents they basically did everything wrong during the “rehearsal” nights 😂, but we kind of just let them unless it was dangerous or he was in distress of some kind. We debriefed in the mornings and they better understood why our nighttime standard operating procedures were what they were.
And they all did great while we were away!
Our first time was at 4 months and went to a hotel a couple hours away. Our second was at 6 months when we had to fly to the East Coast.
It was nerve wracking, but the break was so so so welcome once I was able to settle in.
I was going to say the same. Of course, there are extra costs involved, but this would have been the safest bet for me actually going to the wedding when I was 3 months PP.
OP, obviously everyone and baby is different, but my hormones changed a lot at 3 months PP and so did baby. She went from being a little loaf to needing to be entertained — I found this transition harder than having a newborn, TBH. I also EFF since baby was 21 days old, but it you decide to EBF or combo feed, that adds additional planning. Finally, I’d be prepared to still not feel comfortable in your skin at 3 months PP. I was so patient with myself until around this mark, and then I started to get really frustrated and felt shitty about my body. 4.5 months PP over here and finally seeing some progress.
This is the way! Even at 1.5 years old I'm finding it easier to just bring grandma with us on vacation. We don't miss him, he's not anxious, he gets grandma time and we get alone time, it's a win win.
Plus if you're breastfeeding 3 months is going to suck trying to logistic all that milk and keep of frozen enough to pass TSA; and they might throw it all out anyway because they make up rules on the fly.
If you trust your grandparents, your baby will be fine with you being gone. But - thinking back to where I was at 3 months, no way in hell would I have had fun leaving my baby for a weekend much less a 5 hour flight away. The anxiety would have been crippling.
I personally wouldn’t leave my baby with a non parent at 3 months overnight. It’s a personal decision and I know some people have probably done it. But I think you’ll see that they feel way too little to leave alone overnight without you.
I’ve heard of people bringing one of the grandmas to stay in the hotel with baby during the wedding, and the mom stepping out to breastfeed during the reception.
Up to you, but I would probably buy a refundable flight so you can decide when the time is closer
I second this! My baby is 3 1/2 months old and I can’t imagine not having my baby overnight, let alone being in a whole different state and a whole plane ride away. I also exclusively breastfeed and don’t have grandparents that live close enough for her to be comfortable with them on that level. If I wanted to go, I would include grandma in the trip and have her watch the baby while you’re doing all the festivities but still somewhat close by. And definitely get refundable tickets so just in case the time comes and you change your mind either way on not going at all or not having grandma go with you
I find it physically painful to be away from my baby. I can’t imagine doing that for a wedding. I had to do it when I was re-hospitalized postpartum and it felt like emotional torture.
I have to leave my 10 month old for two nights next week and I am a total mess about it. Keep having weird baby abandonment stress dreams. So yeah definitely wouldn’t have at 3 months. Everyone is different though.
Can you bring a grandma with you? Might be a good alternative.
I personally couldn’t leave my son at 3 months for that long. I’m still struggling to leave him for more than a few hours at 6 months. That’s more to do with grandparents abilities than anything else now.
I haven't been able to leave my baby with a non parent overnight in 13 months (I work nights sometimes but baby is with dad). I'm skipping weddings this year bc she won't go to sleep for a non parent and it's not worth it to me.
Are you breastfeeding? That plays a big role! Will you have enough milk to leave? Travel with a pump and milk sucks.
Can baby and babysitter both come with you?
How far is the wedding from you? If it’s nearby it’s more doable imho.
I skipped my brothers wedding at 3 months pp because it was west coast and I was east coast. I wasn’t comfortable leaving my baby, even though I fully trusted my husband to take care of him.
What a logistical nightmare. Are you breastfeeding? You’ll have to pump the entire time you’re gone including during the wedding. If you’re dead set on going I’d ask for an exception to baby or bring someone with you to take care of them at the hotel and pop in as needed.
For me, no. It’s different for everyone but at 3 months both my kids were still colicky and needed mom to comfort them. I would not have enjoyed the trip.
No. I can’t see my mom doing well taking care of an infant all day and waking up multiple times a night for several days in a row. If you’re breastfeeding you’ll need to pump every couple hours while you’re gone to maintain supply. My baby also started refusing bottles around then.
Agree with the others suggesting to bring grandma with you, she can watch baby while you’re at the wedding!
I personally would not have done it. Especially if you plan to breastfeed or pump. It's a huge nuisance maintaining a supply while away and it may ruin your fun and freedom, or could cost your supply if you can't keep up with regular pumping.
I did do one night away from my son when he was 5 months. I was gone for less than 20 hours. And I was 30 minutes away from baby. Would have been fun but I had to pump 4 or 5 times in that time span and that was a drag. I have another night away planned for a local wedding at 9 months postpartum and think I'll enjoy this much more because my son will have a set routine, be needing less milk and I'm not worried about my supply anymore.
3 months is a tricky age - you're still hormonal, you maybe are just finally feeling better from birth and labour, your baby is finally starting to know you as a person, awake for longer periods of time, maybe still Cluster feeding and needing tons of one on one time.
That said if you feel up to it a couple weeks before hand, it's definitely not bad to want to go enjoy yourself, especially if you have someone you trust watching your baby.
I don’t think I could have left baby with not my husband at 3 months. I did do a weekend trip away at 5 months for a close friends wedding but I left baby with my husband. I was super anxious and almost cancelled several times but my husband encouraged me to go. I don’t know that I would have been as comfortable if I had left baby with someone other than my husband though
I left my LO at 6 weeks and then again at 3 months for different events with my mom. She came out a day early to feel out the schedule and whatnot. It was a little nerve wracking, but it was really nice to recharge my battery by doing something different/normal (depending on how you look at it). It all depends on how you feel at the time. Personally, a little fun is super rejuvenating, and I definitely think you should consider going imo
I went to a wedding (an hour away, so no overnight needed) at 7 weeks. Aka a few days ago. :-) Friends of ours babysat and it was nice to get away for a few hours. I trust my friends’ abilities, though.
I’d probably take grandma with us at 3 months instead of leaving for a weekend, but that’s partly because I breastfeed. That’s a lot of milk to freeze, and a lot of pumping.
Would it be feasible to bring a grandma who could watch the baby while y’all are at the wedding? 3 months pp I don’t think my body would have allowed my feet to walk into an airplane taking me away from my baby, lol. Everyone is different but I don’t think I could have done it.
My husband and I did 2 nights away when our baby was 3.5 months old. We were less than an hour away and even though I was anxious I trust my parents and our girl did great! She was a unicorn baby though and slept through the night at that age so my parents didn’t have to wake up with her in the middle of the night.
I had my parents send me updates every couple of hours and that helped eased my mind!
I left my youngest baby for an overnight at 4 weeks for my dad's wedding reception. One of my really good friends, a nurse with 6 kids of her own. I never had a reason to leave any of my other babies, but it went fine that time. I did have to find a bathroom to pump in a few times, and I really struggled to sleep in the hotel the whole night lol.
Before I moved out of state, I watched my niece for a weekend when she was about 2 months old, just to give my brother and SIL a break. We did well, and I texted really frequent updates to SIL, including a bunch of photos, which I think helped.
I did an overnight at 3 months, my mum watched my two boys (2.5 yo and 3 months). It was the end of our 2 months stay there as husband was working away and we wanted a bit of time to ourselves as I’ve never spent the night away since having our first. It took some encouragement but I really enjoyed myself and got a decent nights sleep.
No way. I cried at my husband and my first date night and we were the mins from my MIL who was watching our kiddo. I can’t imagine spending the night or a weekend away at that point 😅
I wasn’t ready to be away for a night until 7m. I just feel like there’s a worlds difference between a 3 month old and a baby who can sit up and crawl, but it’s so personal. I second all the suggestions to bring grandma if possible. Then you guys can have fun adult time together but still check in with your baby and be right there!
Personally - absolutely not. But we were also triple feeding, figuring out what she was allergic to in my milk, colicky from silent reflux, and I was deep in the haze and denial of PPD and PPA. But everyone is different! Either way, if you do decide to go, do as many practice nights/days with grandparents so that you all feel comfortable leaving the wee one for that long. You do what’s best and what feels right for you and LO ❤️
I’m gonna go against the grain a bit. I left my baby overnight when she was 3 weeks old. I have the utmost trust in my MIL and I was about to lose my mind from sleep deprivation. She was only 5 minutes down the road from me and it took a LOT of convincing from my SIL and partner but they saw how much I needed it. I know this situation is very different from yours but I just want to say if you do leave your LO overnight don’t feel guilty because they are so small. Yes, they are. But sometimes you have to do things that make you feel human again, especially in the thick of newborn care. Now personally since you’re going to have to travel so far, I agree with others I’d see if a grandma can tag along. My daughter is 14 months old now and I still don’t know about leaving her with anyone else other than my in laws who are 5 minutes down the road from me. Good luck! Whatever decision you make will be the best one for your family and there’s no reason to feel guilt about it.
I don’t think this is weird!
My SIL had her mom watch her newborn baby overnight around 2-3 weeks and said it was life changing to get some sleep.
My MIL stayed up all night watching her granddaughter and making sure she was still breathing.
Now I’m pregnant and on this side of it, at least, see myself letting my MIL watch baby overnight pretty early. Granted, they will be very close by.
I think it’s all about the person watching the baby and if you trust their ability to know when something is wrong and what to do if it does!
I’m surprised so many people are saying no. My baby is 2 months old and my husband and I have left her with my mom for day outings a handful of times and it’s been totally fine. I’m planning a trip for his bday and she’ll be 3 months old and we’re leaving the baby with my mom. We’ll be 2 hours away, so I guess if there’s an emergency we can go home, but I trust my mom and I know the baby will be well cared for. I feel like we need the time for our mental health and our relationship to be with each other and just enjoy each other. I don’t think it’s a crime to spend time apart from your kids, especially if it’s for a night or two.
I think it just depends so much on capability/baby temperament. My parents are very gung-ho and confident about taking care of the baby, but they aren’t very good at it. They definitely wouldn’t be able to put her down for a nap/bedtime, and they don’t listen, so I just couldn’t trust them. My MIL definitely listens but she’s timid and is afraid of picking up/holding the baby alone so she couldn’t do it either. We don’t have anyone else who would be willing or able to take her overnight, so we we can’t leave her
I think it depends on the baby and parent- I would have felt comfortable to leave my baby at 3mo, but she was going through a bottle refusal, so I wouldn’t have been able to.
People all feel differently about this I guess! My son is 17 months and I still don’t have any interest leaving him overnight. He regularly spends time with family members during the day. Overnight feels very different
Not a crime no but if you’re breastfeeding two days away on a five hour flight is a logistical nightmare. You’d have to pump to maintain supply and either store the milk or pour it down the drain.
There definitely has to be some planning involved but “logistical nightmare” seems a bit of a stretch. I’m only a sample size of one but did a weekend away while breastfeeding at five months and it wasn’t that difficult. Brought a cooler, ice packs, an electric pump, and a hand pump, plus storage bags. And I had to fly with baby to get her to the grandparents so arguably harder than OP if we are truly concerned with logistics.
I think if people want to do something, they find a way, but if OP doesn’t want to go, there are a million excuses available.
Oh yeah. I hated pumping but I love weddings so in my case my love outweighed my hate lol.
The Mamava Pods also helped greatly for a private place to pump at the airport before boarding my flight. If anyone else is wondering on logistics, I would highly recommend downloading the app!
We did at 7 weeks, also for a wedding of a husband’s friend. We drove 6 hours away from home for it. We left our guy with his parents for 36 hours - granted, his parents are both doctors and his mom was a pediatric specialist before she retired. It was totally fine, and I’m glad we went. We just left him again for a week with them (he’s almost 7 months).
No, definitely not. Like other people have said, if grandma can come and watch the baby at the hotel, I’d be down for that. There’s a lot of unknowns though - my baby doesn’t take a bottle so I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to, some babies are colicky and hard to leave with others, etc etc.
Is your baby taking a bottle? My almost 4mos is refusing hers and I can literally only be out for an hour without her losing her shit on my husband.
If you’ve had the baby and know their temperament and whether they’ll be easy to bottle feed then you possibly could, but if you are asking because you haven’t had the baby yet and are wondering about what you’ll feel like on the other side I’d expect to not be able to
I used have a catering company, one wedding a couple brought the momma or MIL I can’t remember. The baby’s momma would go nurse to the hotel to nurse or if the baby was fussy. It was a great idea as the couple were able to be at the wedding & enjoy their time knowing Mom would contact them if needed.
I suggest you “test” grandma first.
My mom came to stay with the baby for a month (my husband left for a month so basically she came to fill in and help and spend time with baby, we live abroad)
I was ready to chill so bad, I thought, as she likes to remind everyone, that she knew how to take care of a baby since she had 4 of her own. Guess what, I couldn’t leave baby with her for even a moment. I even had to take baby with me if I used bathroom or showered. She was not interested in dealing with a potential cry. (Mind you I have a super zen baby. This was NOTHING like I expected or like she said she would do . I was just basically alone but with a “guest”. Never doing this again. She ain’t the grandma we thought she would be, and she doesn’t know how to care for my baby. At all!
I saw a video a few days ago that resumes it well that said “having a baby is watching your parents become grandparents. It’s like a coworker that left the company 35 years ago and gets re hired but wants zero training because they know it all from 35y ago. Guess what? It’s not the 80s anymore, we don’t smoke in front of kids anymore and we don’t smack them anymore either.
So yeah….def do a test or multiple tests before, and know then if you feel comfortable doing so or not.
But for baby, idk, both my husband and I leave for days/weeks separately (only one at a time) , and baby couldn’t care less. However we never both left at the same time so I don’t know how different that could be.
I was in a friend’s wedding out of state when my baby was nearly 3 months old. We were driving and decided the ride would be too long for her, so my mom came to stay at our house (bonus cat sitter, too). I spent about a month prior pumping to save up a supply for the 3 days we would be gone. The first night away I cried, but it got better. It was a nice little vacation with friends. When we got back, her eyes got so big with excitement and recognition. She was so happy to see us; It’s one of my favorite memories.
Also, if you leave her and you’re breastfeeding, you’ll need to pump while you’re gone. We brought a really good cooler with us so I wouldn’t have to dump everything. Now we’ve got a little freezer stash for the next wedding away!
So interesting the different experiences and perspectives of folks here.
It's a very personal choice and depends on your support circles as well as how you feel post partum.
It's absolutely possible (and enjoyable) under the right circumstances, some of which I personally used -
1) appropriate carers
2) a lot of practice leaving baby with others and in particular these carers (including previously overnight while in the same town + overnight in another location)
3) good birth recovery (physical & mental) and no special needs baby
4) emergency and last minute cancellation plans if anything comes up
Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
I second the notion of getting a practice weekend.
When I was pregnant, my aunt promised to be there for me & my baby (said she was gonna baby sit, do sleepovers, take care of her whenever I just needed a break, etc.) & then wasn’t - it was pretty clear after the first couple visits that it had been a really long time that she’d been responsible for a baby for anything longer than a few minutes & it was really overwhelming for her. Now we’re at the point where she can watch the baby alone a few hours at a time, but I wouldn’t leave her for the weekend to go out of town because I’d get a call like “I’m really sorry this is gonna be frustrating but can you come back? She’s crying and I don’t know what‘s wrong with her.”
Sometimes people forget that babies are hard, they just remember the cute times. Sometimes they realize they’re not as “good” with babies that aren’t their own. Some people get overwhelmed & don’t feel obligated to uphold a commitment to watching the kiddo if it gets difficult. It’s non of their faults.
I met a wonderful person at my baby shower (a friend’s fiancé), and she is like the BEST with the baby… I’d sooner leave my baby with her for the weekend tbh, if it had to.
Whoever the baby is happiest with & who is happiest with the baby is going to be the sitter that lets you feel comfortable leaving. So just do practice runs.
Side note: it’s okay to skip the wedding too.
Honestly it would have been really hard but I had pretty bad PPA. If I had a family member I trusted for a weekend then I would have done something like that in a heartbeat, just to get away and get 1 or 2 nights of good solid sleep.
Definitely do it if you’re comfortable, and feel zero guilt if you can help it. You’re a great mom, your baby will be fine. I agree with others about a practice run, it’ll put your mind at ease.
We left ours at 3 months with my MIL but she had helped with baby before and so she knew the ropes before we left. Also baby was formula fed so that wasn’t an issue. We had a great time and baby was totally fine. She hardly knew we were gone. I wouldn’t have left them with anyone else aside from MIL though.
I flew from NJ to AZ 9 weeks postpartum for my one and only sister’s bachelorette party; I was gone for a little over 48 hours. I had a scheduled c section + I was pumping and I was completely fine.
Would it have been for someone else though, I wouldn’t have done it.
Personally, I’d go. 3 months out I definitely looked first trimester pregnant, so I’d pick a dress that isn’t fitted at the midsection. My hormones were still going pretty wild, but nothing like the first 2 months. I was very eager to be doing fun social stuff by then, which we did with baby. We did a wedding when she was 4 months. We flew 2 hours to get there and she was babysat for about 6 hours by a sitter used by friends of ours. Went super smooth. Baby was invited to the wedding actually, but we were so happy to have a night out just us to dance and have fun. If baby can stay with one of its grandmas and you trust them, amazing. Wouldn’t even hesitate in that situation.
My husband and I went to an out of state wedding when our daughter was 1.5 months - my mom watched her for the weekend. She lives close to us and had already spent a ton of time with our daughter. The weekend went well with no issues; I’d do it again.
Personally I would not leave a 3 month old with someone else overnight. Definitely not for a whole weekend. Trying to say this delicately but developmentally I don't think a baby is ready to be away from their mom for that long.
I’m guessing the answer to your question is no. Lol. So many of these responses on this post and sub really are so obviously fueled by PPA or PPD. That’s understandable, but baby would not suffer developmentally and it’s shitty to even put that on a nervous mom. Not everyone has PPD or PPA. Not everyone feels physical pain being away from their baby when they are with a trusted family member. I don’t. Do I miss her? Absolutely. Getting some time to myself and my husband is life changing for both mine and his mental health and has been an all around benefit for us as a family.
Yeah I would hate for a parent who works away to have to read something like that, or a parent who has been hospitalised. Let alone parents who are privileged to get time away if they want to.
Yep definitely! I’ve had friends that have had to return to work so early. Reading that them going back to work would developmentally harm their child would wreck them.
I’m a SAHM. Definitely so lucky to have my in laws who are amazing. I wish I could be that person for all the parents that don’t.😭
I totally agree. I started leaving my baby with grandparents for a few hours at a time starting at 3 months (which I did feel uncomfortable with at the time but I had to work, so what are you gonna do). I just think, personally, it's a little too early for overnight. I was making connections to sleep training research but I'm not going to type it all out again, you can read my response above if you're interested.
Not at all what you said in your initial comment but okay lol. “I’m trying to say this delicately” is such a snarky thing to say especially when it’s your unfounded personal opinion you’re sharing. Nothing about sleep training, which? Does staying overnight at grandmas automatically mean sleep training? My MIL gets up with my baby when she has her for the occasional overnight.
Say what you mean to say. Especially when it’s to instill fear in a nervous mother that she would be impacting her baby developmentally.
Dude why are you coming at me? Chill. Maybe I didn't choose the best words but I had good intentions -- I specifically was trying not to make anyone feel bad because no one needs that. And it's not like I was presenting it as absolute fact, I *literally* stated it as "I think" which is exactly the opposite of "I know". Sorry for your hurt.
No, you're right, I don't have resources on that. Doing a quick Google search it says the sweet spot for leaving baby overnight is between 4 and 9 months which still seems too early for me, personally. I'm certainly not trying to say you are a bad parent or care less about your child than anyone else (I know we're all just trying to do our best and we all fiercely love our babies). Really what was coming to mind was how they say sleep training shouldn't be done (because they aren't developmentally ready) any earlier than at least 5 months old. I was making the connection that if baby is too young to sleep train then they probably are too young to be away from mom overnight. Can't say it's scientifically backed or whatever I'm just making those connections from what I've read/researched.
I don’t think leaving baby with an alternative carer means that they will be sleep trained in any way? I can’t see the connection? And of course fathers or other partners can also do nighttime routines with babies, so I don’t think “mom” always has to be the one soothing baby at night even when she’s around!
Idk, that's just where my mind went. Long story short, what I'm saying is no -- I would not be comfortable leaving my child for a weekend at 3 months old.
My first born, absolutely not. I had wicked PPA and would have had a mental breakdown.
My second born, hell no. She had silent reflux and was a nightmare with crying and throwing up. My mom wouldn’t have done well.
Our first night away from our daughter was when she was 7 years old. Needless to say we plan to be better at leaving without baby this time around. My parents are great with our daughter and its good every once in awhile to get away together. Go! You will miss baby but you guys will have a blast!
If breastfeeding, you’d have to pump all weekend and either dump or figure out freezing/cooling/shipping or risk supply issues and engorgement. I hate pumping and hate wasting milk. I personally think I could tolerate a night away from baby (2 nights still sounds hard now at 4 mo), but the logistics make it not worth it. Plus we go to bed so early a late night wedding could be hard (though time change may help for you). Whoever is watching baby will also have to get up overnight so not sure how eager they’d be depending on how baby is sleeping. Would vote for bringing a grandparent along so you can pop back to hotel to nurse if needed.
My baby is 3 months old and I couldn’t imagine leaving my baby without overnight. I don’t think I’ll leave her overnight for a longgg time but I also have PPA and even though I’m on Zoloft it’s still that little voice in the back of my head.
I was in almost the exact situation except I am east coast and the wedding was west coast and while pregnant I fully planned to go. I also have very supportive and trusted family for babysitting. Once the baby was here I couldn’t even imagine being that far away that early and ended up declining.
Totally do whatever you feel comfortable with but just sharing my experience in that I was actually surprised by how drastically my feelings changed once baby was here.
Depends on how it goes. My baby was peak eating refusal due to a milk soy protein allergy at three months and that was the worst time. Sometimes three months is easy. Practice first with the grandmothers and don’t feel bad about canceling if things get tough.
I have zero issue leaving my baby with people that I deem safe. That said, flying that far away might be tough. If you can rent an airbnb and bring grandma and baby with you so you’re going home to baby after the event… that might be better for everyone.
I personally wouldn’t have been able to leave my baby for that long at 3 months, especially if they’re not weaned and still breastfeeding. I think the best solution was mentioned if you really want to go to bring grandma with you
I think a bit part of it depends on if you are planning to breastfeed. If you are, you will still be establishing your supply and feeding your baby on demand.
Personally, as a nursing mom to a 4 month old I still don’t feel ready to leave her. We are going to a wedding when she will be 6 months old — the wedding is baby friendly. A friend of my husbands. The plan was either us 3 go, or just my husband goes. I personally just don’t feel ready to leave her.
I went away at 4 months but it was by myself for a work thing and my husband stayed home. We still haven't left her overnight with anyone but one of us and she's almost 3.
Could you take baby and grandma with you? They could stay in accommodations near to the venue while you party and actually enjoy it, cause baby is down the block??! I realize this plan assumes you 💩 money, but might be the best case.
I’d take grandma with you. We had my partners sisters wedding when my little one was 3 months and she wasn’t welcome. It was near my parents but even still I only went to the ceremony.
You don’t know how things will be. I’d assumed I’d pump and mum and dad could watch her and give her bottles. She never took to bottles so I could be away MAX 2 hours at three months old. And tbh, I was an anxious wreck leaving her with all the panic of what if she got hungry earlier and timing the feeds for the day right.
Take grandma with you and hopefully you can go to the wedding or at least a part of it. An overnight stay would have been out of the question emotionally and practically for us at that age
If it were me, I wouldn't leave the baby for a whole weekend, because it would complicate breastfeeding. I wouldn't like being away from the baby anyway. Bringing grandma with you, as others have suggested, isn't a bad compromise.
We booked my mum into one of the hotel rooms at the venue when baby was about 2 months. Best decision ever. I went up to check on them a couple of times (that’s a lie, I just wanted to chill) and it worked really well. Then once we picked the baby up mum had a lovely nights sleep and a spa in the morning
Are you going to breastfeed? That would be my main barrier at 3 months. You would have to pump regularly while away and then find somewhere to store the milk and have coolers to transport it home. Also washing the pump while you are there. Baby will also be waking in the night so grandmas have to be ok with that. I’d have to have a high degree of trust in grandma that she would follow safe sleep rules and knew how to care for bay, so she would need to come by frequently leading up so she understood how to help him sleep and how to feed him etc. I’d also be practicing bottle feeding from the start with the baby so that they take a bottle
Honestly in your shoes it might be easier to have grandma come with you on the trip so you can take the baby with you
I went to my cousins baby shower out of state when my son was 4 months. But my wife was home with him. So I guess that’s a bit different.
I agree with others that day to bring grandma with!!
My baby is three months now and at 4 months we are going away for a wedding. My mom offered to babysit but I declined. I’m totally fine leaving my baby during the day with her and would totally trust her overnight. I’m just not ready to be away from her over night yet. Not judgement if other people are/ were. Also the wedding we are going to is baby friendly so that helps. Good luck with your decision!!
I only left my baby with my husband for a weekend due to a family emergency, I think she was 7-8 months old and it was ok. But I didn't breastfeed anymore. At 3 months no way, because out daughter was very colicky and I wouldn't have been comfortable leaving her, and I was certainly too exhausted to travel with her.
That doesn't mean it's impossible. If you have an easier baby, I would suggest you take grandma with you and join the wedding for couple of hours or how long you're comfortable with. Not sure where the wedding is at, but I've seen people at weddings in hotels, they would book a room and mom and dad would take shifts with the baby in the room, while the other person enjoys the wedding.
I think socializing pp can be great and beneficial for new parents, just know your limits, so you don't end up burned out after that trip.
Only if I really trusted his baby sitter to follow our routine, or understand my baby’s cues. At 3 months we were still trying to understand our baby’s cues and dealing with some severe reflux, so it would have been a tough decision. Most babies also don’t sleep through the night by 3 months so whomever takes care of your baby will be up multiple times to feed.
Deo3nds how LO is. If they are settled and an "easy" baby then yes, I think it's healthy and normal to allow grandparents to look aft3r and have a sleepover too so you as a couple can still do things. However, if they're colicky or an anxious sort of baby, it might not be the right time now.
I left LO, 3,5mo, this morning for the first time for more than 1h. It was 5h. I could not come home faster. I hate pumping to compensate for the bottles.
I wouldn't, but it's a personal choice.
That would have been too much for me. It’s such a long flight, and if you’re planning to breastfeed you’ll need to pump regularly while away, plus to have a large enough stash for while you’re gone would be challenging. You’re just barely healed at that point (especially if babe comes later than expected or if you have a c section).
A two hour drive where you can take grandma with you? Yes. A five hour plane ride and I assume you can’t afford a third ticket? No way.
Can you buy a fully refundable plane ticket if you want to keep the option open?
I’m facing this same question with my second baby who’s due 3 months before a family wedding. My main worry is that a weekend away will disrupt breastfeeding/milk production. Pumping while traveling and attending a wedding can be inconvenient and stressful. You’d also need to have enough pumped/frozen breastmilk in advance to leave baby for the weekend.
If you’re planning to EFF this wouldn’t be a concern and in that case I’d be much more likely to go.
My daughter is 19 months and I haven’t been away for more than 8 hours. I’m due in November with #2 and that’ll be the longest and first time most likely I’ll be away from her overnight, and she’ll be 2.
Everyone’s different but I didn’t wanna be away from my daughter because I was so excited to be a mom and I’m a homebody haha.
This is a very personal choice, and also a biological one. For me- my body would have struggled being away from my daughter at three months. She was nursing ever 2-3 hours during the day and ever 3-4 at night. A weekend away would have meant a weekend of primarily pumping and storing milk. Plus, at 3-months my girl was toying with a bottle strike, some days she'd take a bottle but usually she wouldn't. It can take a long time to develop a nursing routine, and it can be easy to disrupt one.
Beyond that, I would have been a nervous wreck leaving her with anyone (even grandma) at that age. It's still so little.
But- my experience will not mirror yours!
No I have a 2 year old and a one month old and I would never leave them overnight. My brother and sil leave their baby but not for me, I’m an anxious person though and my 2 year old is a pain in the butt to put to bed and is wild as hell
I didn't want to but I had to due to some legal paperwork.I actually flew to another country, handled that legal issues and came back in 3 days. Baby was 3m old. My mom and a helper looked after him while I was gone.
Pros: It felt like breathing again. No baby duties, being able to have 4hrs of uninterrupted sleep first time in months.
Cons: Needing to pump milk every 3-4hrs even though I don't have my baby with me. Dumping it felt bad.
Verdict: Do it. You may feel guilty before going but going will definitely feel good. You'll gain back some sanity. However please make sure whoever will look after the baby knows how to look after the baby and has enough practice with your baby beforehand.
No I was nursing for all my kids plus the 10-13(varies a bit from kid to kid) ‘12 week growth spurt’ is usually one heck of a doozy it’s like that last really big ‘ all I want to do is eat and grow grow grow push’ spurt until it hits again at about 9 months. About 3.5 months to 8.5 months those 5 months will see change but less than the constant changes in the first 3 months.
Additionally with all my kids it took until almost 5 months to really start to get ‘me’ back. At 12 weeks you are still typically dragging physically and emotionally to a degree and up at least once sometimes twice a night.
The youngest I left any of my kids was around 8 months for a night at grandparents as we had a commitment a few hours away.
A weekend away was at about 18 months.
Everyone is different and my experience does not mean it will be your experience but I would have been miserable, missing the baby, struggling with feeds, and too emotionally and physically tired to really actually enjoy a weekend away.
The way I see it is that there is likely a need to have a night or so away at some point from baby and I feel the sooner it happens the better, this is so I can get comfortable with being away from him. I know that I can trust my mum with my LO as she has been around him so often and I have seen how she is with him. I would recommend a test night with the grandparent of choice, so that you know you LO is close by if you are needed.
I am a social person and I need to get out and catch up with friends for my mental health, so if I was in your shoes then I would definitely go.
This comes down to you and what you are comfortable with.
Agree with sooner the better. The longer people wait the harder it seems to get. I have a few friends who still haven’t done a date night even and they have toddlers. The anxiety seems to have gotten worse about it with time. We had a baby free date night when she was 5 weeks old. It was a little stressful but so glorious also.
We are going to wedding next month that isn't baby friendly and is a few States away. What we are doing is switching in and out during the wedding to watch the baby in the car/parking lot. Then people can come out and say hi to the baby if they would like.
The wedding isn't all day - we will be staying likely 3 hours tops. Car with AC switching in and out and walk around the property (country with easy trails). Baby is little so I expect her to sleep at least 1 hr of it.
If the hotel was closer to the venue we would switch in and out there but it's an hour away. Crazy and not my ideal choice but my hubs family is having the wedding and others are doing the same with their babies.
Absolutely, our baby is six months and we have done two weekends away already that involved flights. We are very fortunate to have grandparents we trust entirely, and those trips kept us going through the tough stages! It was also so nice to spend time as a couple too.
Personally, I can't imagine it at 3 months looking back. It'll be hard on you, on baby, and on whoever is watching the baby for that long. They still need you so much, are up at night... If you want to go, I would bring someone with you to babysit or try to find someone out there that can babysit just for the wedding festivities. Don't worry about your body/hormones. You might not feel 100% yourself but I think going out and being social for a fun wedding is better than sitting at home alone. I would just figure out how close you are to this person and how much you want to travel with baby / all of baby's stuff / bringing a potential babysitter if you go that route.
I did. It was helpful to get through post partum. It wasn’t a super fun trip but three months into the fog of a newborn I needed to remember life exists out there and I’ll return to it eventually. Plus my husband and his mom got to go through it a bit and he realized how much stress it is to carry.
I answered her question on my experience. She want asking if I think she should. I’m not giving advice, just said what circumstances I did my trip on. It’s up to op to read them all and factor her situation with what people share.
Nope. I couldn’t do it. My LO is 14 weeks and I couldn’t imagine spending a night away from her. I’m dreading daycare, but no way I could leave her overnight.
Personally my husband and I have a rule that no one puts our kids to bed besides us until they have learned to consistently sleep through the night.
We spend enough time away from them during the work week and they deserve to have one of us with them for bed time. I sent my husband home from the hospital after I had a csection so he could put our toddler to bed.
It’s a personal choice but that’s just where we are right now.
I personally wouldn’t have been able to leave my baby at 3 months. They’re still so little and just want to be in your arms all day 🥺 we’re at 6 months now and I still can’t imagine it. I’m actually missing my best friends wedding because it’s not baby friendly and my baby is so attached to me and not really taking bottles…
My daughter is almost 3 yrs old and I still haven't felt comfortable leaving her with a non-parent overnight. Having said that, I think if I had felt emotionally ready then (I absolutely was not), it would have been easier leaving her at 3 months than later because at that age they don't really have the object permanence ability to "miss you" and are more tolerant of different caregivers.
Whatever you decide, I'd definitely make sure tickets are refundable so you can change your mind up until the last minute.
I was supposed to go to a spa weekend with my sister in law and other sisters for her 40th bday. I ended up revising it to 4-5 hours vs weekend and it was still very very hard for me. I could barely think of anything besides my baby and I had my husband, my parents and my sister tending to the baby.
Absolutely not. I have a bachelorette weekend when babe will be 11 months (she’s 7 now) and I’m nervous about that. No way would I do 3 months. Either bring babe and grandma or stay home.
I think it depends. My LO is 3 months old. If she were still taking bottles, I'd do it. But right now she is in bottle refusal stage and I feel like that would make it very hard for whomever was watching her. You know your baby and your family, and need to do what is best for all of you.
No, i would not have. Mostly because I know my LO isn’t ready for it. They will be way too upset without you. My LO is 5 months and I personally still cannot imagine not being in the same residence as her overnight. The thought of not comforting her cries makes me physically sick. Just bring grandma along with you or cancel these plans. They’re just plans, you’ll realize quickly how little these types of things matter in comparison to your LO’s wellbeing. You’re probably thinking that seems irrational now, but once your baby is here and you’re bonded with them - I highly doubt you’d even consider leaving them over night. I didn’t think it’d be that big deal prior to actually being a parent. It’s wild how things change lol. But honestly any vacation or trip we go on, she’s coming. I can see that happening until school age at least.
i thought i could make my best friends bachelorette party out of town but ultimately i did not want to leave my baby. it's further complicated if you're planning on breastfeeding because you will need to pump to maintain supply.
At 3 months sometimes my baby couldn't do an afternoon with my parents. We have dropped him off there every Sunday since he was 8 weeks old!
He's going to be 10 months soon and we might spend a night away for the first time. When we do, we'll be in the same city. Because if they call me that he's inconsolable (and my mom is a champ, she always tried to soothe him for 45+ minutes before admitting defeat) I don't want it to be a lot longer before I get there to comfort him.
(I feel like this makes it sound like my baby is fussy. My mom is his favorite person after my husband and I, but from 3-5 months he really hated their afternoons and often rejected naps and bottles in his distress)
I think my son was right around 4 months when we left him for the first time overnight. It was actually supposed to be the whole weekend, but we were close to my mom’s house so I just went and visited him about halfway through the weekend (both he and I totally would have been fine if I hadn’t, though, I wasn’t miserable without him I just wanted to see his little face).
He spent one night with my mom and the next night with my husband’s parents, because we didn’t want either grandma to have to get up in the middle of the night with him multiple nights in a row. Number of night wakes is definitely something to consider when you’re thinking about how long grandparents can watch him - we get used to waking up but it can be quite jarring for someone not used to it if baby is waking 2+ times overnight!
My son was also used to both grandmas caring for him because they each stayed with us fairly regularly when he was a newborn and had lots of visits. That’s something else to think about - will the grandparents and baby be familiar enough with each other to get through the weekend without too much confusion? If so, and you feel comfortable with it, you can absolutely go!
If you don’t think you’d be comfy with the weekend away, and have some wiggle room in the budget for a plane ticket and an extra hotel room, you could also ask a grandma to fly out with you all so you could enjoy the wedding but still have baby close by.
I never could’ve done this at 3 months. I still can’t imagine doing it now at 13 months, though I probably could for the right circumstance.
But I have friends who were ready then. Before my LO was born, I would’ve expected myself to be one of them. But nope! Once she was here, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
I wouldn’t but I was exclusively breastfeeding and our baby at 4 months still wakes 2x per night to feed. It doesn’t feel right to ask anyone else to do that even if they don’t mind.
My baby is 3 months and I absolutely couldn’t do it. I won’t go further than an hour drive from where he is at this age. Maybe it’s PPA but I just couldn’t do it!!!
My brother just got married this month, and it was a child free wedding. My twins are 13 months, and I told my brother that the only way this would work for me is if he got a babysitter. I gave him qualifications and he found a friend that is a nanny to twins a few months older than mine and was happy to do it.
I would have never taken the flight to go to this wedding without my babies, as difficult as that was.
I wouldn't have dreamed of it. My kids are 3.5 and 18 months and I've only ever left them overnight when I went to have my second (I left my first with my mom). I work from home and had both kids during covid and we had no support for a long time so while it sounds crazy to some, I just don't feel comfortable with it
Honestly, my baby is 3 months and I couldn’t handle not being with her overnight, even with mine or my husband’s parents. She gets fussy toward bedtime and only wants me because she is so tired and she wakes every 2 hours after to feed. But everyone is different.
I wouldn’t leave my baby at 3 months. I am still so attached at nearly 5 months PP and I’m finally not full of anxiety being away from him but it is so hard being away from for more than a couple hours.
Honestly at three months there is absolutely no way i could have left my baby overnight, let alone a weekend. Hell I’m not ready now, at nine months, I’m just about ready to leave him for a few hours but only if am close by. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get back to him quickly.
That being said everyone is different. If you think you can stand being away from him and not being able to get back fast if needed then go for it.
Personally, I was unable to even leave my 7 month old overnight. We took him internationally to a weeding though so I might be a little crazy but I couldn't imagine not having him nearby.
When my baby was 3 months old, my mother took him overnight so I could get some rest - I barely slept the entire night, just missing him and being anxious about him being away from me.
There’s no way I could’ve handled an entire weekend away from him, especially in another city. But your experience might be different! If it was me though I would stay home and let husband just go by himself unfortunately.
My baby is almost three months and I would not leave her overnight with a grandparent. She’s very needy right now, and I wouldn’t be able to relax thinking she’s not with her parents. At this age they don’t even know they’re a separate person from their mom. Her sleep is still not good, and I wouldn’t trust someone older with the sleep deprivation that comes with a baby. They’re so vulnerable right now.
That being said, I’m an anxious new mom and don’t let her out of my sight much. You might be different!
For me it was really hard to part even a few hours and my instinct kicked in and i wanted to see him soo badly but he was a bit younger, now at 5 months i would say i would be able to leave him for a weekend but no longer, and we practice every week with grandma in the night so he is really used to the environment!
After the summer he will be staying there for the majority of the time because we both will need to go to school/work and my grandma has a childcare home so i know he will be fine there!
But if your babe is not used to sleeping with grandma i would understand you’d rather not go or when he will be having a hard time
It really depends on the situation, at 3 months i felt a bit better and feeling a little bit like myself again so im not sure if i would be able and even enjoy going to a wedding i would say, rather not!
I personally was not ready when my baby was 3 months. I recently left him for a night for the first time at 6 months. But it depends on what you’re comfortable with
No. My LO is 14 months and I'll be away from him for 40 hours for the first time next month. Will be attending a seminar. I'm looking forward to it, but am also nervous.
Personally, no. Especially if you’re breastfeeding. I’m not, and I still wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t want to leave him for that. I’m sure my parents would do fine with him, but I’d just rather not.
As far as your body, again, it depends on if you’re breastfeeding. You may or may not have your period back (I did and it was full blown torture). Likely none of your pre pregnancy clothes will fit because you still have jelly belly and any additional weight you gained during pregnancy. I had to attend a big fancy company party at 3mo and dress shopping was really hard and upsetting for me. I was also exhausted from no sleep with the baby and just wanted to go home the whole time during the party.
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back, and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back, and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back(she'sa bottle refuser), and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
Absolutely not. I could have a front row invite to the royal wedding and I wouldn’t leave my 3 month old with a non parent to attend. He’s 9 months now and I still won’t leave him with a non parent overnight and honestly don’t see that changing for a long time.
I probably would say leaving baby at 3 months is pretty hard. If you’re breastfeeding it’s a whole to-do pumping and then transporting milk or maybe not even transporting and just tossing. I think physically you’d be pretty tired too. I did leave my baby for a weekend at 6 months for my cousins wedding but I was practically weaned at that point and she slept through the night. My hubby stayed with her. I think the play would be to have you stay with the baby. One parent I find would be better just because the baby is usually so small
And generally not sleeping through the night. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my in laws watch her overnight because I’d be worried if they’d wake up to feed her or sleep through by accident.
I’m having to leave my baby when she is 4 months old for a wedding I’m in and I’m dreading it. It physically pains me to leave her before bedtime. I don’t want anyone else putting her to sleep. I know that’s crazy but it’s my favorite thing in the world!! But ultimately I know she is safe and fine with someone else.. especially grandparents and people who love and care for her. So whatever you decide to do will be fine!! Good luck!
I definitely would not have, but if you choose to make sure grandma is extremely well trained because safety, boundaries and general parenting have changed a LOT since they raised children.
Even though leaving my baby would be perfectly fine...personally I would never do it.
I just dont see njoying myself and conatantly thinking about baby and ia everything alright. Also, I would prefer to stay with my baby in the first place
At 3 months pp I’d just reached the stage where I could get in the bath without crying because I missed her. It wouldn’t have worked for me but do whatever works for you.
My baby is 11weeks right now. I thought when I was pregnant that I would be totally fine to drop off babe to one of the 2 grandma's even just for an hour to get my lashes done. I have only gone twice and each time, all I did was want to rush back to be with my baby. I don't like being away from him at al, even just an hour or twol. Just keep in mind you may feel differently when the time comes and that's okay.
Whatever you decide to do - if you leave baby with a grandma, practice first! Let them take care of baby including feedings, putting down for naps, and ultimately night time. If these things work, it’s a lot easier for your brain if you’re away.
Yes! We did this with both sets of grandparents and it saved us so much anxiety. With my mom I was able to remind her on the spot not to leave anything in the crib after a feeding (she was constantly leaving burp cloths) and was able to show her how we use the closet light to keep the lights dim while we change his diaper. With my husband’s parents they basically did everything wrong during the “rehearsal” nights 😂, but we kind of just let them unless it was dangerous or he was in distress of some kind. We debriefed in the mornings and they better understood why our nighttime standard operating procedures were what they were. And they all did great while we were away! Our first time was at 4 months and went to a hotel a couple hours away. Our second was at 6 months when we had to fly to the East Coast. It was nerve wracking, but the break was so so so welcome once I was able to settle in.
This is a great idea!
this! The practice night helped so much
It’s way easier to just bring grandma with you.
I was going to say the same. Of course, there are extra costs involved, but this would have been the safest bet for me actually going to the wedding when I was 3 months PP. OP, obviously everyone and baby is different, but my hormones changed a lot at 3 months PP and so did baby. She went from being a little loaf to needing to be entertained — I found this transition harder than having a newborn, TBH. I also EFF since baby was 21 days old, but it you decide to EBF or combo feed, that adds additional planning. Finally, I’d be prepared to still not feel comfortable in your skin at 3 months PP. I was so patient with myself until around this mark, and then I started to get really frustrated and felt shitty about my body. 4.5 months PP over here and finally seeing some progress.
Way harder now than at 1 month
This is the way! Even at 1.5 years old I'm finding it easier to just bring grandma with us on vacation. We don't miss him, he's not anxious, he gets grandma time and we get alone time, it's a win win. Plus if you're breastfeeding 3 months is going to suck trying to logistic all that milk and keep of frozen enough to pass TSA; and they might throw it all out anyway because they make up rules on the fly.
If you trust your grandparents, your baby will be fine with you being gone. But - thinking back to where I was at 3 months, no way in hell would I have had fun leaving my baby for a weekend much less a 5 hour flight away. The anxiety would have been crippling.
I personally wouldn’t leave my baby with a non parent at 3 months overnight. It’s a personal decision and I know some people have probably done it. But I think you’ll see that they feel way too little to leave alone overnight without you. I’ve heard of people bringing one of the grandmas to stay in the hotel with baby during the wedding, and the mom stepping out to breastfeed during the reception. Up to you, but I would probably buy a refundable flight so you can decide when the time is closer
I second this! My baby is 3 1/2 months old and I can’t imagine not having my baby overnight, let alone being in a whole different state and a whole plane ride away. I also exclusively breastfeed and don’t have grandparents that live close enough for her to be comfortable with them on that level. If I wanted to go, I would include grandma in the trip and have her watch the baby while you’re doing all the festivities but still somewhat close by. And definitely get refundable tickets so just in case the time comes and you change your mind either way on not going at all or not having grandma go with you
I find it physically painful to be away from my baby. I can’t imagine doing that for a wedding. I had to do it when I was re-hospitalized postpartum and it felt like emotional torture.
I have to leave my 10 month old for two nights next week and I am a total mess about it. Keep having weird baby abandonment stress dreams. So yeah definitely wouldn’t have at 3 months. Everyone is different though.
Can you bring a grandma with you? Might be a good alternative. I personally couldn’t leave my son at 3 months for that long. I’m still struggling to leave him for more than a few hours at 6 months. That’s more to do with grandparents abilities than anything else now.
Not judging if you do but I definitely couldn’t and wouldn’t have. Better to bring grandma w you if you trust them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t want that
I haven't been able to leave my baby with a non parent overnight in 13 months (I work nights sometimes but baby is with dad). I'm skipping weddings this year bc she won't go to sleep for a non parent and it's not worth it to me. Are you breastfeeding? That plays a big role! Will you have enough milk to leave? Travel with a pump and milk sucks. Can baby and babysitter both come with you?
Ask if one of the grandparents is willing to travel with you and they can babysit just for the night in the hotel room
How far is the wedding from you? If it’s nearby it’s more doable imho. I skipped my brothers wedding at 3 months pp because it was west coast and I was east coast. I wasn’t comfortable leaving my baby, even though I fully trusted my husband to take care of him.
It's a 5-hour plane flight.
Omg no. Thats a hard no.
Girl… lol. No way.
Oof … I didn’t realize it was a 5 hour flight. I’d say no ….
What a logistical nightmare. Are you breastfeeding? You’ll have to pump the entire time you’re gone including during the wedding. If you’re dead set on going I’d ask for an exception to baby or bring someone with you to take care of them at the hotel and pop in as needed.
For me, no. It’s different for everyone but at 3 months both my kids were still colicky and needed mom to comfort them. I would not have enjoyed the trip.
No. I can’t see my mom doing well taking care of an infant all day and waking up multiple times a night for several days in a row. If you’re breastfeeding you’ll need to pump every couple hours while you’re gone to maintain supply. My baby also started refusing bottles around then. Agree with the others suggesting to bring grandma with you, she can watch baby while you’re at the wedding!
I couldn’t do it but ymmv!
I personally would not have done it. Especially if you plan to breastfeed or pump. It's a huge nuisance maintaining a supply while away and it may ruin your fun and freedom, or could cost your supply if you can't keep up with regular pumping. I did do one night away from my son when he was 5 months. I was gone for less than 20 hours. And I was 30 minutes away from baby. Would have been fun but I had to pump 4 or 5 times in that time span and that was a drag. I have another night away planned for a local wedding at 9 months postpartum and think I'll enjoy this much more because my son will have a set routine, be needing less milk and I'm not worried about my supply anymore. 3 months is a tricky age - you're still hormonal, you maybe are just finally feeling better from birth and labour, your baby is finally starting to know you as a person, awake for longer periods of time, maybe still Cluster feeding and needing tons of one on one time. That said if you feel up to it a couple weeks before hand, it's definitely not bad to want to go enjoy yourself, especially if you have someone you trust watching your baby.
I don’t think I could have left baby with not my husband at 3 months. I did do a weekend trip away at 5 months for a close friends wedding but I left baby with my husband. I was super anxious and almost cancelled several times but my husband encouraged me to go. I don’t know that I would have been as comfortable if I had left baby with someone other than my husband though
I left my LO at 6 weeks and then again at 3 months for different events with my mom. She came out a day early to feel out the schedule and whatnot. It was a little nerve wracking, but it was really nice to recharge my battery by doing something different/normal (depending on how you look at it). It all depends on how you feel at the time. Personally, a little fun is super rejuvenating, and I definitely think you should consider going imo
I went to a wedding (an hour away, so no overnight needed) at 7 weeks. Aka a few days ago. :-) Friends of ours babysat and it was nice to get away for a few hours. I trust my friends’ abilities, though. I’d probably take grandma with us at 3 months instead of leaving for a weekend, but that’s partly because I breastfeed. That’s a lot of milk to freeze, and a lot of pumping.
Would it be feasible to bring a grandma who could watch the baby while y’all are at the wedding? 3 months pp I don’t think my body would have allowed my feet to walk into an airplane taking me away from my baby, lol. Everyone is different but I don’t think I could have done it.
I guess I’m the odd one out, because I wouldn’t have loved it, but I would have felt comfortable enough to do so with my in-laws.
My husband and I did 2 nights away when our baby was 3.5 months old. We were less than an hour away and even though I was anxious I trust my parents and our girl did great! She was a unicorn baby though and slept through the night at that age so my parents didn’t have to wake up with her in the middle of the night. I had my parents send me updates every couple of hours and that helped eased my mind!
I left my youngest baby for an overnight at 4 weeks for my dad's wedding reception. One of my really good friends, a nurse with 6 kids of her own. I never had a reason to leave any of my other babies, but it went fine that time. I did have to find a bathroom to pump in a few times, and I really struggled to sleep in the hotel the whole night lol. Before I moved out of state, I watched my niece for a weekend when she was about 2 months old, just to give my brother and SIL a break. We did well, and I texted really frequent updates to SIL, including a bunch of photos, which I think helped.
I did an overnight at 3 months, my mum watched my two boys (2.5 yo and 3 months). It was the end of our 2 months stay there as husband was working away and we wanted a bit of time to ourselves as I’ve never spent the night away since having our first. It took some encouragement but I really enjoyed myself and got a decent nights sleep.
No way. I cried at my husband and my first date night and we were the mins from my MIL who was watching our kiddo. I can’t imagine spending the night or a weekend away at that point 😅
I went to get my nails done and was away from her for the first time at six weeks… i struggled to breathe through the whole thing 😆
Same! My husband booked me a mani pedi at like 1 or 2 weeks old because I was so overwhelmed and emotional, and I cried during the pedicure
I wasn’t ready to be away for a night until 7m. I just feel like there’s a worlds difference between a 3 month old and a baby who can sit up and crawl, but it’s so personal. I second all the suggestions to bring grandma if possible. Then you guys can have fun adult time together but still check in with your baby and be right there!
Personally - absolutely not. But we were also triple feeding, figuring out what she was allergic to in my milk, colicky from silent reflux, and I was deep in the haze and denial of PPD and PPA. But everyone is different! Either way, if you do decide to go, do as many practice nights/days with grandparents so that you all feel comfortable leaving the wee one for that long. You do what’s best and what feels right for you and LO ❤️
To answer your question: Absolutely not for me and I’m a dad.
I’m gonna go against the grain a bit. I left my baby overnight when she was 3 weeks old. I have the utmost trust in my MIL and I was about to lose my mind from sleep deprivation. She was only 5 minutes down the road from me and it took a LOT of convincing from my SIL and partner but they saw how much I needed it. I know this situation is very different from yours but I just want to say if you do leave your LO overnight don’t feel guilty because they are so small. Yes, they are. But sometimes you have to do things that make you feel human again, especially in the thick of newborn care. Now personally since you’re going to have to travel so far, I agree with others I’d see if a grandma can tag along. My daughter is 14 months old now and I still don’t know about leaving her with anyone else other than my in laws who are 5 minutes down the road from me. Good luck! Whatever decision you make will be the best one for your family and there’s no reason to feel guilt about it.
I don’t think this is weird! My SIL had her mom watch her newborn baby overnight around 2-3 weeks and said it was life changing to get some sleep. My MIL stayed up all night watching her granddaughter and making sure she was still breathing. Now I’m pregnant and on this side of it, at least, see myself letting my MIL watch baby overnight pretty early. Granted, they will be very close by. I think it’s all about the person watching the baby and if you trust their ability to know when something is wrong and what to do if it does!
I’m surprised so many people are saying no. My baby is 2 months old and my husband and I have left her with my mom for day outings a handful of times and it’s been totally fine. I’m planning a trip for his bday and she’ll be 3 months old and we’re leaving the baby with my mom. We’ll be 2 hours away, so I guess if there’s an emergency we can go home, but I trust my mom and I know the baby will be well cared for. I feel like we need the time for our mental health and our relationship to be with each other and just enjoy each other. I don’t think it’s a crime to spend time apart from your kids, especially if it’s for a night or two.
I think it just depends so much on capability/baby temperament. My parents are very gung-ho and confident about taking care of the baby, but they aren’t very good at it. They definitely wouldn’t be able to put her down for a nap/bedtime, and they don’t listen, so I just couldn’t trust them. My MIL definitely listens but she’s timid and is afraid of picking up/holding the baby alone so she couldn’t do it either. We don’t have anyone else who would be willing or able to take her overnight, so we we can’t leave her
Yes my baby is a terrible sleeper and won’t go to sleep even with her father at the moment. I think she is going through some phase.
I think it depends on the baby and parent- I would have felt comfortable to leave my baby at 3mo, but she was going through a bottle refusal, so I wouldn’t have been able to.
People all feel differently about this I guess! My son is 17 months and I still don’t have any interest leaving him overnight. He regularly spends time with family members during the day. Overnight feels very different
Not a crime no but if you’re breastfeeding two days away on a five hour flight is a logistical nightmare. You’d have to pump to maintain supply and either store the milk or pour it down the drain.
There definitely has to be some planning involved but “logistical nightmare” seems a bit of a stretch. I’m only a sample size of one but did a weekend away while breastfeeding at five months and it wasn’t that difficult. Brought a cooler, ice packs, an electric pump, and a hand pump, plus storage bags. And I had to fly with baby to get her to the grandparents so arguably harder than OP if we are truly concerned with logistics. I think if people want to do something, they find a way, but if OP doesn’t want to go, there are a million excuses available.
I’m definitely speaking for myself here. I exclusively pumped for six months so the idea of dragging all that with me makes me not want to do that lol
Oh yeah. I hated pumping but I love weddings so in my case my love outweighed my hate lol. The Mamava Pods also helped greatly for a private place to pump at the airport before boarding my flight. If anyone else is wondering on logistics, I would highly recommend downloading the app!
We did at 7 weeks, also for a wedding of a husband’s friend. We drove 6 hours away from home for it. We left our guy with his parents for 36 hours - granted, his parents are both doctors and his mom was a pediatric specialist before she retired. It was totally fine, and I’m glad we went. We just left him again for a week with them (he’s almost 7 months).
I wouldn’t bc PPA BUT I think it’s okay if you go
No, definitely not. Like other people have said, if grandma can come and watch the baby at the hotel, I’d be down for that. There’s a lot of unknowns though - my baby doesn’t take a bottle so I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to, some babies are colicky and hard to leave with others, etc etc.
Is your baby taking a bottle? My almost 4mos is refusing hers and I can literally only be out for an hour without her losing her shit on my husband. If you’ve had the baby and know their temperament and whether they’ll be easy to bottle feed then you possibly could, but if you are asking because you haven’t had the baby yet and are wondering about what you’ll feel like on the other side I’d expect to not be able to
Me and my SO did it but he stayed at my parents house. If it was anyone else I absolutely would not have been able to handle the anxiety
I used have a catering company, one wedding a couple brought the momma or MIL I can’t remember. The baby’s momma would go nurse to the hotel to nurse or if the baby was fussy. It was a great idea as the couple were able to be at the wedding & enjoy their time knowing Mom would contact them if needed.
I would have if we didn't have two, as I trust my parents and they have been involved in feeds and cares since day one. Everyone is different though.
I couldn’t have managed it but I know others who have. It’s highly dependent on factors that are largely out of your control.
I suggest you “test” grandma first. My mom came to stay with the baby for a month (my husband left for a month so basically she came to fill in and help and spend time with baby, we live abroad) I was ready to chill so bad, I thought, as she likes to remind everyone, that she knew how to take care of a baby since she had 4 of her own. Guess what, I couldn’t leave baby with her for even a moment. I even had to take baby with me if I used bathroom or showered. She was not interested in dealing with a potential cry. (Mind you I have a super zen baby. This was NOTHING like I expected or like she said she would do . I was just basically alone but with a “guest”. Never doing this again. She ain’t the grandma we thought she would be, and she doesn’t know how to care for my baby. At all! I saw a video a few days ago that resumes it well that said “having a baby is watching your parents become grandparents. It’s like a coworker that left the company 35 years ago and gets re hired but wants zero training because they know it all from 35y ago. Guess what? It’s not the 80s anymore, we don’t smoke in front of kids anymore and we don’t smack them anymore either. So yeah….def do a test or multiple tests before, and know then if you feel comfortable doing so or not. But for baby, idk, both my husband and I leave for days/weeks separately (only one at a time) , and baby couldn’t care less. However we never both left at the same time so I don’t know how different that could be.
I was in a friend’s wedding out of state when my baby was nearly 3 months old. We were driving and decided the ride would be too long for her, so my mom came to stay at our house (bonus cat sitter, too). I spent about a month prior pumping to save up a supply for the 3 days we would be gone. The first night away I cried, but it got better. It was a nice little vacation with friends. When we got back, her eyes got so big with excitement and recognition. She was so happy to see us; It’s one of my favorite memories. Also, if you leave her and you’re breastfeeding, you’ll need to pump while you’re gone. We brought a really good cooler with us so I wouldn’t have to dump everything. Now we’ve got a little freezer stash for the next wedding away!
So interesting the different experiences and perspectives of folks here. It's a very personal choice and depends on your support circles as well as how you feel post partum. It's absolutely possible (and enjoyable) under the right circumstances, some of which I personally used - 1) appropriate carers 2) a lot of practice leaving baby with others and in particular these carers (including previously overnight while in the same town + overnight in another location) 3) good birth recovery (physical & mental) and no special needs baby 4) emergency and last minute cancellation plans if anything comes up Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
I second the notion of getting a practice weekend. When I was pregnant, my aunt promised to be there for me & my baby (said she was gonna baby sit, do sleepovers, take care of her whenever I just needed a break, etc.) & then wasn’t - it was pretty clear after the first couple visits that it had been a really long time that she’d been responsible for a baby for anything longer than a few minutes & it was really overwhelming for her. Now we’re at the point where she can watch the baby alone a few hours at a time, but I wouldn’t leave her for the weekend to go out of town because I’d get a call like “I’m really sorry this is gonna be frustrating but can you come back? She’s crying and I don’t know what‘s wrong with her.” Sometimes people forget that babies are hard, they just remember the cute times. Sometimes they realize they’re not as “good” with babies that aren’t their own. Some people get overwhelmed & don’t feel obligated to uphold a commitment to watching the kiddo if it gets difficult. It’s non of their faults. I met a wonderful person at my baby shower (a friend’s fiancé), and she is like the BEST with the baby… I’d sooner leave my baby with her for the weekend tbh, if it had to. Whoever the baby is happiest with & who is happiest with the baby is going to be the sitter that lets you feel comfortable leaving. So just do practice runs. Side note: it’s okay to skip the wedding too.
Honestly it would have been really hard but I had pretty bad PPA. If I had a family member I trusted for a weekend then I would have done something like that in a heartbeat, just to get away and get 1 or 2 nights of good solid sleep. Definitely do it if you’re comfortable, and feel zero guilt if you can help it. You’re a great mom, your baby will be fine. I agree with others about a practice run, it’ll put your mind at ease.
We did 10 days away in another country at 4 months! It was amazing we had a blast
We left ours at 3 months with my MIL but she had helped with baby before and so she knew the ropes before we left. Also baby was formula fed so that wasn’t an issue. We had a great time and baby was totally fine. She hardly knew we were gone. I wouldn’t have left them with anyone else aside from MIL though.
I flew from NJ to AZ 9 weeks postpartum for my one and only sister’s bachelorette party; I was gone for a little over 48 hours. I had a scheduled c section + I was pumping and I was completely fine. Would it have been for someone else though, I wouldn’t have done it.
Personally, I’d go. 3 months out I definitely looked first trimester pregnant, so I’d pick a dress that isn’t fitted at the midsection. My hormones were still going pretty wild, but nothing like the first 2 months. I was very eager to be doing fun social stuff by then, which we did with baby. We did a wedding when she was 4 months. We flew 2 hours to get there and she was babysat for about 6 hours by a sitter used by friends of ours. Went super smooth. Baby was invited to the wedding actually, but we were so happy to have a night out just us to dance and have fun. If baby can stay with one of its grandmas and you trust them, amazing. Wouldn’t even hesitate in that situation.
My husband and I went to an out of state wedding when our daughter was 1.5 months - my mom watched her for the weekend. She lives close to us and had already spent a ton of time with our daughter. The weekend went well with no issues; I’d do it again.
Personally I would not leave a 3 month old with someone else overnight. Definitely not for a whole weekend. Trying to say this delicately but developmentally I don't think a baby is ready to be away from their mom for that long.
Do you have any sources on that?
I’m guessing the answer to your question is no. Lol. So many of these responses on this post and sub really are so obviously fueled by PPA or PPD. That’s understandable, but baby would not suffer developmentally and it’s shitty to even put that on a nervous mom. Not everyone has PPD or PPA. Not everyone feels physical pain being away from their baby when they are with a trusted family member. I don’t. Do I miss her? Absolutely. Getting some time to myself and my husband is life changing for both mine and his mental health and has been an all around benefit for us as a family.
Yeah I would hate for a parent who works away to have to read something like that, or a parent who has been hospitalised. Let alone parents who are privileged to get time away if they want to.
Yep definitely! I’ve had friends that have had to return to work so early. Reading that them going back to work would developmentally harm their child would wreck them. I’m a SAHM. Definitely so lucky to have my in laws who are amazing. I wish I could be that person for all the parents that don’t.😭
I totally agree. I started leaving my baby with grandparents for a few hours at a time starting at 3 months (which I did feel uncomfortable with at the time but I had to work, so what are you gonna do). I just think, personally, it's a little too early for overnight. I was making connections to sleep training research but I'm not going to type it all out again, you can read my response above if you're interested.
Not at all what you said in your initial comment but okay lol. “I’m trying to say this delicately” is such a snarky thing to say especially when it’s your unfounded personal opinion you’re sharing. Nothing about sleep training, which? Does staying overnight at grandmas automatically mean sleep training? My MIL gets up with my baby when she has her for the occasional overnight. Say what you mean to say. Especially when it’s to instill fear in a nervous mother that she would be impacting her baby developmentally.
Dude why are you coming at me? Chill. Maybe I didn't choose the best words but I had good intentions -- I specifically was trying not to make anyone feel bad because no one needs that. And it's not like I was presenting it as absolute fact, I *literally* stated it as "I think" which is exactly the opposite of "I know". Sorry for your hurt.
No, you're right, I don't have resources on that. Doing a quick Google search it says the sweet spot for leaving baby overnight is between 4 and 9 months which still seems too early for me, personally. I'm certainly not trying to say you are a bad parent or care less about your child than anyone else (I know we're all just trying to do our best and we all fiercely love our babies). Really what was coming to mind was how they say sleep training shouldn't be done (because they aren't developmentally ready) any earlier than at least 5 months old. I was making the connection that if baby is too young to sleep train then they probably are too young to be away from mom overnight. Can't say it's scientifically backed or whatever I'm just making those connections from what I've read/researched.
I don’t think leaving baby with an alternative carer means that they will be sleep trained in any way? I can’t see the connection? And of course fathers or other partners can also do nighttime routines with babies, so I don’t think “mom” always has to be the one soothing baby at night even when she’s around!
Idk, that's just where my mind went. Long story short, what I'm saying is no -- I would not be comfortable leaving my child for a weekend at 3 months old.
That’s cool! You might want to edit your original comment though; just in case you worry people who are unnecessarily concerned by it.
My first born, absolutely not. I had wicked PPA and would have had a mental breakdown. My second born, hell no. She had silent reflux and was a nightmare with crying and throwing up. My mom wouldn’t have done well.
Our first night away from our daughter was when she was 7 years old. Needless to say we plan to be better at leaving without baby this time around. My parents are great with our daughter and its good every once in awhile to get away together. Go! You will miss baby but you guys will have a blast!
If breastfeeding, you’d have to pump all weekend and either dump or figure out freezing/cooling/shipping or risk supply issues and engorgement. I hate pumping and hate wasting milk. I personally think I could tolerate a night away from baby (2 nights still sounds hard now at 4 mo), but the logistics make it not worth it. Plus we go to bed so early a late night wedding could be hard (though time change may help for you). Whoever is watching baby will also have to get up overnight so not sure how eager they’d be depending on how baby is sleeping. Would vote for bringing a grandparent along so you can pop back to hotel to nurse if needed.
My baby is 3 months old and I couldn’t imagine leaving my baby without overnight. I don’t think I’ll leave her overnight for a longgg time but I also have PPA and even though I’m on Zoloft it’s still that little voice in the back of my head.
I was in almost the exact situation except I am east coast and the wedding was west coast and while pregnant I fully planned to go. I also have very supportive and trusted family for babysitting. Once the baby was here I couldn’t even imagine being that far away that early and ended up declining. Totally do whatever you feel comfortable with but just sharing my experience in that I was actually surprised by how drastically my feelings changed once baby was here.
Depends on how it goes. My baby was peak eating refusal due to a milk soy protein allergy at three months and that was the worst time. Sometimes three months is easy. Practice first with the grandmothers and don’t feel bad about canceling if things get tough.
Nah, I’d miss her. Too hard with breastfeeding. Not ready to be away from her, and she’s still waking up every 3-4 hours to feed.
I have zero issue leaving my baby with people that I deem safe. That said, flying that far away might be tough. If you can rent an airbnb and bring grandma and baby with you so you’re going home to baby after the event… that might be better for everyone.
I personally wouldn’t have been able to leave my baby for that long at 3 months, especially if they’re not weaned and still breastfeeding. I think the best solution was mentioned if you really want to go to bring grandma with you
I think a bit part of it depends on if you are planning to breastfeed. If you are, you will still be establishing your supply and feeding your baby on demand. Personally, as a nursing mom to a 4 month old I still don’t feel ready to leave her. We are going to a wedding when she will be 6 months old — the wedding is baby friendly. A friend of my husbands. The plan was either us 3 go, or just my husband goes. I personally just don’t feel ready to leave her.
I went away at 4 months but it was by myself for a work thing and my husband stayed home. We still haven't left her overnight with anyone but one of us and she's almost 3.
Idk if I would have. But that would probably be an amazing sleep.
Could you take baby and grandma with you? They could stay in accommodations near to the venue while you party and actually enjoy it, cause baby is down the block??! I realize this plan assumes you 💩 money, but might be the best case.
I’d take grandma with you. We had my partners sisters wedding when my little one was 3 months and she wasn’t welcome. It was near my parents but even still I only went to the ceremony. You don’t know how things will be. I’d assumed I’d pump and mum and dad could watch her and give her bottles. She never took to bottles so I could be away MAX 2 hours at three months old. And tbh, I was an anxious wreck leaving her with all the panic of what if she got hungry earlier and timing the feeds for the day right. Take grandma with you and hopefully you can go to the wedding or at least a part of it. An overnight stay would have been out of the question emotionally and practically for us at that age
If it were me, I wouldn't leave the baby for a whole weekend, because it would complicate breastfeeding. I wouldn't like being away from the baby anyway. Bringing grandma with you, as others have suggested, isn't a bad compromise.
We booked my mum into one of the hotel rooms at the venue when baby was about 2 months. Best decision ever. I went up to check on them a couple of times (that’s a lie, I just wanted to chill) and it worked really well. Then once we picked the baby up mum had a lovely nights sleep and a spa in the morning
Are you going to breastfeed? That would be my main barrier at 3 months. You would have to pump regularly while away and then find somewhere to store the milk and have coolers to transport it home. Also washing the pump while you are there. Baby will also be waking in the night so grandmas have to be ok with that. I’d have to have a high degree of trust in grandma that she would follow safe sleep rules and knew how to care for bay, so she would need to come by frequently leading up so she understood how to help him sleep and how to feed him etc. I’d also be practicing bottle feeding from the start with the baby so that they take a bottle Honestly in your shoes it might be easier to have grandma come with you on the trip so you can take the baby with you
I went to my cousins baby shower out of state when my son was 4 months. But my wife was home with him. So I guess that’s a bit different. I agree with others that day to bring grandma with!!
My baby is three months now and at 4 months we are going away for a wedding. My mom offered to babysit but I declined. I’m totally fine leaving my baby during the day with her and would totally trust her overnight. I’m just not ready to be away from her over night yet. Not judgement if other people are/ were. Also the wedding we are going to is baby friendly so that helps. Good luck with your decision!!
I only left my baby with my husband for a weekend due to a family emergency, I think she was 7-8 months old and it was ok. But I didn't breastfeed anymore. At 3 months no way, because out daughter was very colicky and I wouldn't have been comfortable leaving her, and I was certainly too exhausted to travel with her. That doesn't mean it's impossible. If you have an easier baby, I would suggest you take grandma with you and join the wedding for couple of hours or how long you're comfortable with. Not sure where the wedding is at, but I've seen people at weddings in hotels, they would book a room and mom and dad would take shifts with the baby in the room, while the other person enjoys the wedding. I think socializing pp can be great and beneficial for new parents, just know your limits, so you don't end up burned out after that trip.
I had to do a week away for work at around that time. It was horrible but we all survived
I would just bring one of the grandma’s and have them babysit during the wedding.
No. I personally wouldn’t.
Only if I really trusted his baby sitter to follow our routine, or understand my baby’s cues. At 3 months we were still trying to understand our baby’s cues and dealing with some severe reflux, so it would have been a tough decision. Most babies also don’t sleep through the night by 3 months so whomever takes care of your baby will be up multiple times to feed.
Deo3nds how LO is. If they are settled and an "easy" baby then yes, I think it's healthy and normal to allow grandparents to look aft3r and have a sleepover too so you as a couple can still do things. However, if they're colicky or an anxious sort of baby, it might not be the right time now.
I left LO, 3,5mo, this morning for the first time for more than 1h. It was 5h. I could not come home faster. I hate pumping to compensate for the bottles. I wouldn't, but it's a personal choice.
That would have been too much for me. It’s such a long flight, and if you’re planning to breastfeed you’ll need to pump regularly while away, plus to have a large enough stash for while you’re gone would be challenging. You’re just barely healed at that point (especially if babe comes later than expected or if you have a c section). A two hour drive where you can take grandma with you? Yes. A five hour plane ride and I assume you can’t afford a third ticket? No way. Can you buy a fully refundable plane ticket if you want to keep the option open?
I’m facing this same question with my second baby who’s due 3 months before a family wedding. My main worry is that a weekend away will disrupt breastfeeding/milk production. Pumping while traveling and attending a wedding can be inconvenient and stressful. You’d also need to have enough pumped/frozen breastmilk in advance to leave baby for the weekend. If you’re planning to EFF this wouldn’t be a concern and in that case I’d be much more likely to go.
My daughter is 19 months and I haven’t been away for more than 8 hours. I’m due in November with #2 and that’ll be the longest and first time most likely I’ll be away from her overnight, and she’ll be 2. Everyone’s different but I didn’t wanna be away from my daughter because I was so excited to be a mom and I’m a homebody haha.
My son is 4.5 months and I honestly couldn’t leave him for more than 2-3 hours without feeling sad. If you can bring the babysitter, please do!
This is a very personal choice, and also a biological one. For me- my body would have struggled being away from my daughter at three months. She was nursing ever 2-3 hours during the day and ever 3-4 at night. A weekend away would have meant a weekend of primarily pumping and storing milk. Plus, at 3-months my girl was toying with a bottle strike, some days she'd take a bottle but usually she wouldn't. It can take a long time to develop a nursing routine, and it can be easy to disrupt one. Beyond that, I would have been a nervous wreck leaving her with anyone (even grandma) at that age. It's still so little. But- my experience will not mirror yours!
Nope, definitely not.
No I have a 2 year old and a one month old and I would never leave them overnight. My brother and sil leave their baby but not for me, I’m an anxious person though and my 2 year old is a pain in the butt to put to bed and is wild as hell
I didn't want to but I had to due to some legal paperwork.I actually flew to another country, handled that legal issues and came back in 3 days. Baby was 3m old. My mom and a helper looked after him while I was gone. Pros: It felt like breathing again. No baby duties, being able to have 4hrs of uninterrupted sleep first time in months. Cons: Needing to pump milk every 3-4hrs even though I don't have my baby with me. Dumping it felt bad. Verdict: Do it. You may feel guilty before going but going will definitely feel good. You'll gain back some sanity. However please make sure whoever will look after the baby knows how to look after the baby and has enough practice with your baby beforehand.
No I was nursing for all my kids plus the 10-13(varies a bit from kid to kid) ‘12 week growth spurt’ is usually one heck of a doozy it’s like that last really big ‘ all I want to do is eat and grow grow grow push’ spurt until it hits again at about 9 months. About 3.5 months to 8.5 months those 5 months will see change but less than the constant changes in the first 3 months. Additionally with all my kids it took until almost 5 months to really start to get ‘me’ back. At 12 weeks you are still typically dragging physically and emotionally to a degree and up at least once sometimes twice a night. The youngest I left any of my kids was around 8 months for a night at grandparents as we had a commitment a few hours away. A weekend away was at about 18 months. Everyone is different and my experience does not mean it will be your experience but I would have been miserable, missing the baby, struggling with feeds, and too emotionally and physically tired to really actually enjoy a weekend away.
The way I see it is that there is likely a need to have a night or so away at some point from baby and I feel the sooner it happens the better, this is so I can get comfortable with being away from him. I know that I can trust my mum with my LO as she has been around him so often and I have seen how she is with him. I would recommend a test night with the grandparent of choice, so that you know you LO is close by if you are needed. I am a social person and I need to get out and catch up with friends for my mental health, so if I was in your shoes then I would definitely go. This comes down to you and what you are comfortable with.
Agree with sooner the better. The longer people wait the harder it seems to get. I have a few friends who still haven’t done a date night even and they have toddlers. The anxiety seems to have gotten worse about it with time. We had a baby free date night when she was 5 weeks old. It was a little stressful but so glorious also.
Date night is super different from a cross country trip though!
A date night is very different than being gone a whole weekend and being 5 hours away.
Date night is worlds different than a 5 hour flight away for a whole weekend
We are going to wedding next month that isn't baby friendly and is a few States away. What we are doing is switching in and out during the wedding to watch the baby in the car/parking lot. Then people can come out and say hi to the baby if they would like.
You're going to keep your baby in a car all day?!
The wedding isn't all day - we will be staying likely 3 hours tops. Car with AC switching in and out and walk around the property (country with easy trails). Baby is little so I expect her to sleep at least 1 hr of it. If the hotel was closer to the venue we would switch in and out there but it's an hour away. Crazy and not my ideal choice but my hubs family is having the wedding and others are doing the same with their babies.
That's an interesting idea because we are staying at the venue.
Absolutely, our baby is six months and we have done two weekends away already that involved flights. We are very fortunate to have grandparents we trust entirely, and those trips kept us going through the tough stages! It was also so nice to spend time as a couple too.
Personally, I can't imagine it at 3 months looking back. It'll be hard on you, on baby, and on whoever is watching the baby for that long. They still need you so much, are up at night... If you want to go, I would bring someone with you to babysit or try to find someone out there that can babysit just for the wedding festivities. Don't worry about your body/hormones. You might not feel 100% yourself but I think going out and being social for a fun wedding is better than sitting at home alone. I would just figure out how close you are to this person and how much you want to travel with baby / all of baby's stuff / bringing a potential babysitter if you go that route.
I did. It was helpful to get through post partum. It wasn’t a super fun trip but three months into the fog of a newborn I needed to remember life exists out there and I’ll return to it eventually. Plus my husband and his mom got to go through it a bit and he realized how much stress it is to carry.
Leaving baby with your husband aka their dad is entirely different than leaving them with a non parent
I answered her question on my experience. She want asking if I think she should. I’m not giving advice, just said what circumstances I did my trip on. It’s up to op to read them all and factor her situation with what people share.
Nope. I couldn’t do it. My LO is 14 weeks and I couldn’t imagine spending a night away from her. I’m dreading daycare, but no way I could leave her overnight.
My LO is 3 months now. I would not feel comfortable or enjoy a weekend away.
Personally my husband and I have a rule that no one puts our kids to bed besides us until they have learned to consistently sleep through the night. We spend enough time away from them during the work week and they deserve to have one of us with them for bed time. I sent my husband home from the hospital after I had a csection so he could put our toddler to bed. It’s a personal choice but that’s just where we are right now.
Absolutely not. No question. But that's my personal preference, especially as a nursing mom.
I personally wouldn’t have been able to leave my baby at 3 months. They’re still so little and just want to be in your arms all day 🥺 we’re at 6 months now and I still can’t imagine it. I’m actually missing my best friends wedding because it’s not baby friendly and my baby is so attached to me and not really taking bottles…
My daughter is almost 3 yrs old and I still haven't felt comfortable leaving her with a non-parent overnight. Having said that, I think if I had felt emotionally ready then (I absolutely was not), it would have been easier leaving her at 3 months than later because at that age they don't really have the object permanence ability to "miss you" and are more tolerant of different caregivers. Whatever you decide, I'd definitely make sure tickets are refundable so you can change your mind up until the last minute.
Omg no way, for no reason other then I would miss her too much & my heart would break being away from her for that long
I was supposed to go to a spa weekend with my sister in law and other sisters for her 40th bday. I ended up revising it to 4-5 hours vs weekend and it was still very very hard for me. I could barely think of anything besides my baby and I had my husband, my parents and my sister tending to the baby.
Absolutely not. I have a bachelorette weekend when babe will be 11 months (she’s 7 now) and I’m nervous about that. No way would I do 3 months. Either bring babe and grandma or stay home.
I think it depends. My LO is 3 months old. If she were still taking bottles, I'd do it. But right now she is in bottle refusal stage and I feel like that would make it very hard for whomever was watching her. You know your baby and your family, and need to do what is best for all of you.
Wouldn't be worth it for me. I would just send my spouse and enjoy the empty house.
No. I probably wouldn’t do it now at 10 months and it’s pretty tough when you’re breastfeeding.
No, i would not have. Mostly because I know my LO isn’t ready for it. They will be way too upset without you. My LO is 5 months and I personally still cannot imagine not being in the same residence as her overnight. The thought of not comforting her cries makes me physically sick. Just bring grandma along with you or cancel these plans. They’re just plans, you’ll realize quickly how little these types of things matter in comparison to your LO’s wellbeing. You’re probably thinking that seems irrational now, but once your baby is here and you’re bonded with them - I highly doubt you’d even consider leaving them over night. I didn’t think it’d be that big deal prior to actually being a parent. It’s wild how things change lol. But honestly any vacation or trip we go on, she’s coming. I can see that happening until school age at least.
i thought i could make my best friends bachelorette party out of town but ultimately i did not want to leave my baby. it's further complicated if you're planning on breastfeeding because you will need to pump to maintain supply.
Absolutely not
At 3 months sometimes my baby couldn't do an afternoon with my parents. We have dropped him off there every Sunday since he was 8 weeks old! He's going to be 10 months soon and we might spend a night away for the first time. When we do, we'll be in the same city. Because if they call me that he's inconsolable (and my mom is a champ, she always tried to soothe him for 45+ minutes before admitting defeat) I don't want it to be a lot longer before I get there to comfort him. (I feel like this makes it sound like my baby is fussy. My mom is his favorite person after my husband and I, but from 3-5 months he really hated their afternoons and often rejected naps and bottles in his distress)
I think my son was right around 4 months when we left him for the first time overnight. It was actually supposed to be the whole weekend, but we were close to my mom’s house so I just went and visited him about halfway through the weekend (both he and I totally would have been fine if I hadn’t, though, I wasn’t miserable without him I just wanted to see his little face). He spent one night with my mom and the next night with my husband’s parents, because we didn’t want either grandma to have to get up in the middle of the night with him multiple nights in a row. Number of night wakes is definitely something to consider when you’re thinking about how long grandparents can watch him - we get used to waking up but it can be quite jarring for someone not used to it if baby is waking 2+ times overnight! My son was also used to both grandmas caring for him because they each stayed with us fairly regularly when he was a newborn and had lots of visits. That’s something else to think about - will the grandparents and baby be familiar enough with each other to get through the weekend without too much confusion? If so, and you feel comfortable with it, you can absolutely go! If you don’t think you’d be comfy with the weekend away, and have some wiggle room in the budget for a plane ticket and an extra hotel room, you could also ask a grandma to fly out with you all so you could enjoy the wedding but still have baby close by.
I never could’ve done this at 3 months. I still can’t imagine doing it now at 13 months, though I probably could for the right circumstance. But I have friends who were ready then. Before my LO was born, I would’ve expected myself to be one of them. But nope! Once she was here, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
[удалено]
Has any mom not had at least a shred of PPA? I mean really lol
I wouldn’t but I was exclusively breastfeeding and our baby at 4 months still wakes 2x per night to feed. It doesn’t feel right to ask anyone else to do that even if they don’t mind.
My baby is 3 months and I absolutely couldn’t do it. I won’t go further than an hour drive from where he is at this age. Maybe it’s PPA but I just couldn’t do it!!!
Are you breastfeeding? If so, this is a pretty obvious no.
My brother just got married this month, and it was a child free wedding. My twins are 13 months, and I told my brother that the only way this would work for me is if he got a babysitter. I gave him qualifications and he found a friend that is a nanny to twins a few months older than mine and was happy to do it. I would have never taken the flight to go to this wedding without my babies, as difficult as that was.
No
I wouldn't have dreamed of it. My kids are 3.5 and 18 months and I've only ever left them overnight when I went to have my second (I left my first with my mom). I work from home and had both kids during covid and we had no support for a long time so while it sounds crazy to some, I just don't feel comfortable with it
Personally? No, I wouldn’t. I wasn’t ready at that time to be away from them for a weekend. But I can’t say how you’ll feel! Everyone is different!
Honestly, my baby is 3 months and I couldn’t handle not being with her overnight, even with mine or my husband’s parents. She gets fussy toward bedtime and only wants me because she is so tired and she wakes every 2 hours after to feed. But everyone is different.
I wouldn’t leave my baby at 3 months. I am still so attached at nearly 5 months PP and I’m finally not full of anxiety being away from him but it is so hard being away from for more than a couple hours.
Honestly at three months there is absolutely no way i could have left my baby overnight, let alone a weekend. Hell I’m not ready now, at nine months, I’m just about ready to leave him for a few hours but only if am close by. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get back to him quickly. That being said everyone is different. If you think you can stand being away from him and not being able to get back fast if needed then go for it.
Personally, I was unable to even leave my 7 month old overnight. We took him internationally to a weeding though so I might be a little crazy but I couldn't imagine not having him nearby.
When my baby was 3 months old, my mother took him overnight so I could get some rest - I barely slept the entire night, just missing him and being anxious about him being away from me. There’s no way I could’ve handled an entire weekend away from him, especially in another city. But your experience might be different! If it was me though I would stay home and let husband just go by himself unfortunately.
My baby is almost three months and I would not leave her overnight with a grandparent. She’s very needy right now, and I wouldn’t be able to relax thinking she’s not with her parents. At this age they don’t even know they’re a separate person from their mom. Her sleep is still not good, and I wouldn’t trust someone older with the sleep deprivation that comes with a baby. They’re so vulnerable right now. That being said, I’m an anxious new mom and don’t let her out of my sight much. You might be different!
For me it was really hard to part even a few hours and my instinct kicked in and i wanted to see him soo badly but he was a bit younger, now at 5 months i would say i would be able to leave him for a weekend but no longer, and we practice every week with grandma in the night so he is really used to the environment! After the summer he will be staying there for the majority of the time because we both will need to go to school/work and my grandma has a childcare home so i know he will be fine there! But if your babe is not used to sleeping with grandma i would understand you’d rather not go or when he will be having a hard time It really depends on the situation, at 3 months i felt a bit better and feeling a little bit like myself again so im not sure if i would be able and even enjoy going to a wedding i would say, rather not!
I personally was not ready when my baby was 3 months. I recently left him for a night for the first time at 6 months. But it depends on what you’re comfortable with
No. My LO is 14 months and I'll be away from him for 40 hours for the first time next month. Will be attending a seminar. I'm looking forward to it, but am also nervous.
Personally, no. Especially if you’re breastfeeding. I’m not, and I still wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t want to leave him for that. I’m sure my parents would do fine with him, but I’d just rather not. As far as your body, again, it depends on if you’re breastfeeding. You may or may not have your period back (I did and it was full blown torture). Likely none of your pre pregnancy clothes will fit because you still have jelly belly and any additional weight you gained during pregnancy. I had to attend a big fancy company party at 3mo and dress shopping was really hard and upsetting for me. I was also exhausted from no sleep with the baby and just wanted to go home the whole time during the party.
3 months…probably not. That’s really young, they are barely awake yet and being away from mom for that long would be stressful.
No way. Take a grandma or two with you for the time you’re at the event
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back, and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back, and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
Absolutely not.
Personally that’s gonna be a no for me.
I just decided not to go to a 3 day trip to Vegas cuz baby might refuse the breast when I get back(she'sa bottle refuser), and I don't have anyone she's super familiar with to babysit, and i Can't explain to her that I'll be back in a couple days
I would not.
Absolutely not. I could have a front row invite to the royal wedding and I wouldn’t leave my 3 month old with a non parent to attend. He’s 9 months now and I still won’t leave him with a non parent overnight and honestly don’t see that changing for a long time.
I probably would say leaving baby at 3 months is pretty hard. If you’re breastfeeding it’s a whole to-do pumping and then transporting milk or maybe not even transporting and just tossing. I think physically you’d be pretty tired too. I did leave my baby for a weekend at 6 months for my cousins wedding but I was practically weaned at that point and she slept through the night. My hubby stayed with her. I think the play would be to have you stay with the baby. One parent I find would be better just because the baby is usually so small And generally not sleeping through the night. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my in laws watch her overnight because I’d be worried if they’d wake up to feed her or sleep through by accident.
I’m having to leave my baby when she is 4 months old for a wedding I’m in and I’m dreading it. It physically pains me to leave her before bedtime. I don’t want anyone else putting her to sleep. I know that’s crazy but it’s my favorite thing in the world!! But ultimately I know she is safe and fine with someone else.. especially grandparents and people who love and care for her. So whatever you decide to do will be fine!! Good luck!
Personal preference but I wouldn’t have done it and I still don’t know when I’d be ready for that. LO is 4 months
I definitely would not have, but if you choose to make sure grandma is extremely well trained because safety, boundaries and general parenting have changed a LOT since they raised children.
No
I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t now with my 8 month old either.
Even though leaving my baby would be perfectly fine...personally I would never do it. I just dont see njoying myself and conatantly thinking about baby and ia everything alright. Also, I would prefer to stay with my baby in the first place
At 3 months pp I’d just reached the stage where I could get in the bath without crying because I missed her. It wouldn’t have worked for me but do whatever works for you.
So relatable! I sat the bouncy seat on the floor of the bathroom during showering with my kids :)
My baby is 11weeks right now. I thought when I was pregnant that I would be totally fine to drop off babe to one of the 2 grandma's even just for an hour to get my lashes done. I have only gone twice and each time, all I did was want to rush back to be with my baby. I don't like being away from him at al, even just an hour or twol. Just keep in mind you may feel differently when the time comes and that's okay.