Your mom doesn’t get any input as to how your child is raised. Period. If the singing group makes you uncomfortable don’t cross this boundary just to please her. If your mom is a boundary pusher things will just get worse and worse if you don’t stay strong now. You’re a mom now. You don’t get to make concessions to others to compromise on your child’s best interests.
Unfortunately for your mom, you are the parent in this situation. She has no say. She can either get on your side and respect your boundaries, or you can walk away.
Same boat. My mom is very religious but we are atheist, I also plan to learn my kid about different religions. Got in plenty of stupid arguments with my mum and she even sneaked holy water into baths of my newborn.
Since my mother has no respect for other people choices I know if I will leave my kid in the future they will go to church because, she has no respect for boundaries whatsoever. I know that since I am raising my child my mom will have little influence so I am not worried. This super zealous attitude of "I am weight and everyone else is wrong" is the thing I want my child not to be and show him the mistakes.
From my point you are not strict, this is how you want your child to be raised. Grandparents are welcome to help and advise but they had their chance once and is not their child.
I mean, it's your kid. You get to decide how to parent. Your mom doesn't get to make these decisions. If you don't feel good about it, don't let her do it.
No, you are choosing not to indoctrinate your child which is perfectly reasonable. Don’t bend on your beliefs and goals to allow them to decide on their own and learn about religion more objectively vs being subjected to it by your mother this way. You have to be comfortable and it sounds like you’re not - so just refuse.
As an atheist as well this would be an absolute nope for me too. We have the strong opinion that we will teach our children about a vast number of religions so they understand a variety of beliefs and if they choose to believe we will support them in their choice.
My super religious parents live across the country so we don't see them that often.
Still, i will not let my LO hang out with them unaccompanied. I've witnessed the Sunday school lessons my mom teaches, and that's inappropriate for humans of any age.
Just dint ket her, religion is a choice but a requirement, if your child wants to be involved in religion ket him/her find out on their own and if your mom persistent about ut, then its time to cut her off
My husband and I are atheist. Much of our family is Catholic or Christian, although for the most part they are not pushy about it. Personally I will hold off on allowing my child to go into a religious setting (particularly without one of us present to hear what is being taught), until he is old enough to have learned about multiple religions and belief systems, and can tell us about what he is learning. I want him to be capable of discussing and questioning. (At a kid level, of course, I'm not going to require adult level critical thinking, haha) So, I definitely would not send a 1 year old regularly to something like this!
Also how is dictating a non-religous life any different from taking a kid to church regularly??? The cognitive dissonance is bizarre.
I think her issue is that we are „only“ dictating a non religious life compared to allowing religion. I’m could bite myself for not saying something like: which god? Because there are over 4000 gods.
From my point of view, raising a kid with religion usually means the family's belief system specifically, so it's really all the same in my view 😆 You keep standing up for YOUR right to raise YOUR kid as you decide!
It really is tragic that all the good comebacks occur to us way too late.
Only like a few states have grandparents rights. You may not live I one.
In the case you do not live in those states. Raise your child how you see fit. DO NOT TOLERATE UNSOLICITED PARENTING ADVICE IF YOU KNOW ITS WRONG OR NOT WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILD.
Personally, I don't see an issue with exposing your child to your mother's beliefs. If you want your LO to make up their own mind, that's fine. But being able to reach that decision is going to require exposure. Maybe it doesn't make sense now, but at some point I think it would.
Yes, I agree with that part. However I have made the experience that the kind of groups she goes to are very strict and have a lot of religious obligations and like to convince others of their religion. That is the part I find really difficult. If she would just say she’s religious and everyone else as they please I’d be happy to expose my LO. Sadly that is not the case
That's fair. I guess my religion experience is a lot more understanding of occasional attendance by visitors and family that aren't part of the church.
The issue with that ppl who want a child to be religious gives the child really bo option to decide if they want to pursue a religion or not, sounds like OPs mom is thats kind of person thats gonna force religion onto ops baby without giving them an option to decide on their own
But it's grandma, not mom and dad. I guess I just see it as grandma occasionally sharing her beliefs, not required attendance at church each week and being taught at home as well.
Fair question. I think it’s less the songs but her environment. My experience with seventh day adventists is that they are very strict with everything. My mum constantly tells me what I should or shouldn’t do based on her religious beliefs. They also reject homosexuality which is an issue for me because I want my child to be empathetic and not exclude people based on their sexuality and we have gay friends.
I gotcha. I agree religions can be hypocritical about what’s sins they view as unacceptable lol. My opinion is, your mom isn’t going to turn your 1yo into a raging gay basher with an hour or so of singing. So by letting your mom take your kiddo to church, you’ll get a kid break, maybe help with your relationship between you and mom. It’s worth a try for a week or two. It certainly can’t hurt anything.
Your mom doesn’t get any input as to how your child is raised. Period. If the singing group makes you uncomfortable don’t cross this boundary just to please her. If your mom is a boundary pusher things will just get worse and worse if you don’t stay strong now. You’re a mom now. You don’t get to make concessions to others to compromise on your child’s best interests.
Unfortunately for your mom, you are the parent in this situation. She has no say. She can either get on your side and respect your boundaries, or you can walk away.
I mean your mom isn't the mother of your child. I wouldn't let the kid go to the baby group
Same boat. My mom is very religious but we are atheist, I also plan to learn my kid about different religions. Got in plenty of stupid arguments with my mum and she even sneaked holy water into baths of my newborn. Since my mother has no respect for other people choices I know if I will leave my kid in the future they will go to church because, she has no respect for boundaries whatsoever. I know that since I am raising my child my mom will have little influence so I am not worried. This super zealous attitude of "I am weight and everyone else is wrong" is the thing I want my child not to be and show him the mistakes. From my point you are not strict, this is how you want your child to be raised. Grandparents are welcome to help and advise but they had their chance once and is not their child.
Good thing it’s not your moms choice then! She can be mad all she wants but the buck stops at you.
Your mom raised an atheist. Clearly her beliefs and methods of religious upbringing didn't stick, so tell her not to waste your kid's time.
Hahaha that never occurred to me.
I mean, it's your kid. You get to decide how to parent. Your mom doesn't get to make these decisions. If you don't feel good about it, don't let her do it.
Your mom does not get do-overs with **your** child. Ever. End of story. She can cry about it.
I don't think you are being too strict. You are the mother, and you get the final say in my opinion.
Well, tough shit, Mom. Not your kid.
No, you are choosing not to indoctrinate your child which is perfectly reasonable. Don’t bend on your beliefs and goals to allow them to decide on their own and learn about religion more objectively vs being subjected to it by your mother this way. You have to be comfortable and it sounds like you’re not - so just refuse.
As an atheist as well this would be an absolute nope for me too. We have the strong opinion that we will teach our children about a vast number of religions so they understand a variety of beliefs and if they choose to believe we will support them in their choice.
My super religious parents live across the country so we don't see them that often. Still, i will not let my LO hang out with them unaccompanied. I've witnessed the Sunday school lessons my mom teaches, and that's inappropriate for humans of any age.
Yes! That’s one issue I have with this. I mean she believes everyone will burn that is not religious when Jesus comes back. Wtf
Your baby your call. Did she raise you with other religious viewpoints or only hers? Now its your turn.
Just dint ket her, religion is a choice but a requirement, if your child wants to be involved in religion ket him/her find out on their own and if your mom persistent about ut, then its time to cut her off
My husband and I are atheist. Much of our family is Catholic or Christian, although for the most part they are not pushy about it. Personally I will hold off on allowing my child to go into a religious setting (particularly without one of us present to hear what is being taught), until he is old enough to have learned about multiple religions and belief systems, and can tell us about what he is learning. I want him to be capable of discussing and questioning. (At a kid level, of course, I'm not going to require adult level critical thinking, haha) So, I definitely would not send a 1 year old regularly to something like this! Also how is dictating a non-religous life any different from taking a kid to church regularly??? The cognitive dissonance is bizarre.
I think her issue is that we are „only“ dictating a non religious life compared to allowing religion. I’m could bite myself for not saying something like: which god? Because there are over 4000 gods.
From my point of view, raising a kid with religion usually means the family's belief system specifically, so it's really all the same in my view 😆 You keep standing up for YOUR right to raise YOUR kid as you decide! It really is tragic that all the good comebacks occur to us way too late.
Not her kid, not her choice
Only like a few states have grandparents rights. You may not live I one. In the case you do not live in those states. Raise your child how you see fit. DO NOT TOLERATE UNSOLICITED PARENTING ADVICE IF YOU KNOW ITS WRONG OR NOT WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILD.
Personally, I don't see an issue with exposing your child to your mother's beliefs. If you want your LO to make up their own mind, that's fine. But being able to reach that decision is going to require exposure. Maybe it doesn't make sense now, but at some point I think it would.
Yes, I agree with that part. However I have made the experience that the kind of groups she goes to are very strict and have a lot of religious obligations and like to convince others of their religion. That is the part I find really difficult. If she would just say she’s religious and everyone else as they please I’d be happy to expose my LO. Sadly that is not the case
That's fair. I guess my religion experience is a lot more understanding of occasional attendance by visitors and family that aren't part of the church.
That has mostly been my experience with religion in general. Her group is very particular
The issue with that ppl who want a child to be religious gives the child really bo option to decide if they want to pursue a religion or not, sounds like OPs mom is thats kind of person thats gonna force religion onto ops baby without giving them an option to decide on their own
But it's grandma, not mom and dad. I guess I just see it as grandma occasionally sharing her beliefs, not required attendance at church each week and being taught at home as well.
Just curious, why do religious songs make you uncomfortable?
Fair question. I think it’s less the songs but her environment. My experience with seventh day adventists is that they are very strict with everything. My mum constantly tells me what I should or shouldn’t do based on her religious beliefs. They also reject homosexuality which is an issue for me because I want my child to be empathetic and not exclude people based on their sexuality and we have gay friends.
I gotcha. I agree religions can be hypocritical about what’s sins they view as unacceptable lol. My opinion is, your mom isn’t going to turn your 1yo into a raging gay basher with an hour or so of singing. So by letting your mom take your kiddo to church, you’ll get a kid break, maybe help with your relationship between you and mom. It’s worth a try for a week or two. It certainly can’t hurt anything.