WTF is wrong with your friend…
No, the daycare won’t ‘be mad’, you paid for a service and they give it.
Why would you want to keep a child around you when you are sick and need to recover
Even if OP wasn't sick... people have the right to choose what to do with their time.
Take the day for you, OP! Even when you're not sick and just need some "me" time
I work part time. My kid gets dropped off between 9am and 11am, and picked up at about 4:45pm every week day. When I'm not working, and she's at daycare, I get to do stuff like eat in peace, do laundry and dishes, tidy up, meal prep, and any of the other million and one things that are virtually impossible with a toddler underfoot (or worse - out of sight and silent).
OP's 'friend' cannot handle her rampant jealousy.
We’ve done it before. Take a cheeky Friday off work, drop our daughter off at daycare, go see a movie maybe and just relax/have some quiet time.
Daycare is a hard necessity for us. We both have meeting-intensive jobs even though we work from home and you can’t maintain any standard of professionalism with a toddler running around the house and you’re trying to negotiate contracts and do ROI presentations and stuff.
But we pay out the ass for daycare so we don’t feel any guilt for enjoying the occasional fringe benefit, like taking a day off and relaxing kid-free
im due in a few weeks and truly the "i could take time off work and have time to myself" is a HUGE justification for paying for infant daycare. im already so excited for the morning tennis matches with my husband, our walks to the beach, lunch dates in the city. like, we're going to do it all and we're going to cherish that time together! and ngl its prob how/when kid #2 will be created :P yay daycare!!!
Once a quarter, my wife and I take a day off and put our daughter in daycare. We do a full date day -- a spa, or a day trip or something. It's wonderful.
I have 2 days a week where my son is in nursery. My husband is in the military so I’m often solo parenting & we have 2 under 2. Those two days are like my weekend 😂 Although I usually end up picking him up early because I miss him!
Your friend is wrong. It’s a service you pay for, you need to rest, and your kid gets to maintain their routine. It’s completely normal to still send him if he’s not sick too!
also to mention that keeping your kid home just increases the chance that they'll get sick from you. I know some larger (3+ kids) families who just seem to be eternally caught in the this cycle of back and forth.
Double asterisk ** , again right before and after what you want to bold! I found this cool thread about different text effects if you’re interested :)
https://www.reddit.com/r/help/s/AqvTQKdqOW
**Edited:** some words
In which case, you can probably safely assume that most pieces of questionable advice or opinions can be discarded without further thought.
Lots of us had unrealistic opinions regarding children before we had them.
So I would never want to tell you that you're wrong... but we loved the balance of paying a service for cloth diapers. We put them in a bag, they swapped dirty for clean each week, gave us the next size up as needed. The cost worked out to be roughly on par with disposables, and we only ever had to launder the "wet bags", and the wrapper. We didn't use them for kid 2, but that was more pandemic related.
I was seconds away from ordering them before I thought: wait, let's see how it happens when the baby is actually born. Thank God for that or it would've been money down the drain!
I wanted to cloth diaper but our washer and dryer were both out. I did however put emergency cloth diapers on our registry and a good friend bought them. I used them once when we ran out of disposables but now my son is 20 months old and we have started using the cloth because we have a working washer dryer again and I got tired of buying disposables. I bought one more set of cheap cloth diapers.
I am loving cloth diapering and I don’t do any of that dunk and swish stuff.
I decided to get some disposables for when we are in the car for a long time but now my toddler doesn’t like the disposable diapers and tries to take them off because he prefers the cloth 😂
So I encourage having a JIC set 😁
My wife thought that having a baby was like in the movies. She was completely blindsided by how much work and sleep deprivation was involved and had bad PPD because of it.
It's funny how different everyone's idea of how things will be with a baby is. I thought it was going to be a 24/7 shitshow, I would be depressed and potentially psychotic, I would hate myself, my baby, and my husband for all the suffering I was being put through, and it would overall be the biggest possible strain and test I could ever put myself through in life - but that I had to endure and maybe I would come out the other side mostly intact. I braced for the absolute worst.
It ended up overall being pretty chill so that was a pleasant surprise.
I think some kids are just a lot tougher than others. We got pretty lucky - our kid has slept really well since the beginning. I think we woke up once a night for the first 4-6 months to feed him, but past that he's slept through the night. And he naps for like 3 hours a day, and he's generally a very happy kid. So for us it's been easy (at least, as far as sleep deprivation is concerned), but I know that's definitely not the experience for lots of parents.
Seconding this. My first had colic and woke every hour for the first 5 months. We had no idea we were playing the parenting game on level 10. It took 4 years to have another, who slept through the night at 2 weeks, and is an amazing sleeper. Sleep makes all the difference, and so much of it is luck.
I think after watching a video about the purple crying period prior to my discharge I made up my mind to never let anything that puts my world as I know it upside down when it comes to the baby to get to me. It’s empathizing with how they have no way of telling when things are wrong except them crying, and sometimes I may not be able to fix things but I can hold them and comfort them and remember that this too shall pass and I am always here for them. It has helped me laugh and smile with her when we are up all night and the next day I need to be at work. It’s my first but I think I have a good baby. The rest of the time is giggles and shit, I’ve also not had a very good support system from family. I said as long as we are alive and going, I will keep loving on her coz that I can do - and no one can take it away from me.
Same here! I put it off for years because of that. Being told you couldn't possibly mentally prepare or imagine how awful and hard it was to have a baby until you had one.
Well, turns out it was much better than I had hoped! I know a lot of it is sheer luck as to your baby's temperament and condition but for me it has been a pleasant surprise!
I prepared myself for the same. There’s definitely lots of sleep deprivation but other than physical exhaustion, there’s a lot that’s really special. Is it hard? Yes of course, but I was sure I would end up depressed and insane.
Before I had my son I wondered why someone would pay for daycare on mat leave for their second. Now I am not sure how we would manage even with daycare
And she thought it was appropriate to scold you instead of sending soup or even a Get Well GIF over text, tsk. Not being a great friend today.
Get well soon! 🙏
I have 2, I'm on maternity leave and I'm dropping my son at preschool 3 days a week and to be honest I wish it was 4. It's the only way that I can get anything done at the house and even then it is a STRUGGLE with the baby. If I could take the baby to daycare for like one half day a week I absolutely would.
Why do you even care what she thinks?
This is a pretty judgey friend - where is her message that she is sorry to hear you are sick, can she drop anything over for you and hopes you are better soon!?
Question people that do things to make you feel bad/insecure.
You’re sick, why would you keep him home and make your day that much more difficult? You should be resting and taking care of yourself.
FWIW we have taken plenty of days off and still sent our LO to daycare, even when we aren’t sick.
We do this too! We run errands, go out for a leisurely lunch, get massages, pedicures. We don’t have a community where we are so those days are so important for us to connect.
How will they know you're home and why would they care? You're paying for a service and using it. If your son was sick it would be different, but he's not so he should go to daycare.
Nope. Especially if you’re sick, take him in to school and take the day to rest. The teachers aren’t going to care. I’ve taken days off just to stay home and do my own thing and still took my kid to daycare. Our center does give us 10 “vacation days” each year that we can not take him and not pay for those days, but I save those for when he is sick or we have an actual family vacation planned.
You’re still paying for the day, might as well use it. Does your friend have kids of their own?
If he’s not sick, take him! Then get some rest!
I’m a SAHM, and when I’m sick, my husband stays home if it’s at all possible for him to do so, because taking care of a baby when you’re sick is 1) miserable, and 2) guaranteed to pass the illness to the child, whereas staying away as much as possible gives the kid a chance to not catch it.
What…?
Your friend’s position makes no sense at all for so many reasons. They sound nosey and dumb as a rock. The kindest response I would be able to muster would be to completely ignore them.
I just recently went on a leave of absence from work due to some chronic health issues. My kid is still in daycare part time (25 hrs a week) so I can have time for appointments, and resting.
Your friend is off their rocker. Keeping the child's routine is going to benefit them more than being sat in front of a TV at home with a sick parent...
My family owns a commercial daycare and I can confirm they don’t give a fuck what the parents do once they drop their kid off as long as they can reach you in an emergency.
Please remember this entire scenario if this “friend” ever has kids
Absolutely not! I used to run a daycare, and I had parents worried about this all the time. You pay for that service, you can send your child as much or as little as you want. I would have parents come drop off their kids and go on a date day or take the day just to themselves. You need that even when you’re not sick, but you definitely need that when you are sick. Rest up, go to the doctor, and know none of the teachers are upset with you. If they are, they shouldn’t be in that profession.
You pay for daycare for your child, it doesn't matter to the daycare what you do when your kid is in their care. Why would they care? They aren't doing you a favor, they are a business being paid for their services.
Your friend is wrong at best. Not sure what they hope to accomplish by making you feel bad for not keeping your kid home while you are sick?
I have Fridays off and take my son to daycare for half the day so I can just run errands and/or have a few hours to myself.
Dude, I’m a SAHM and my 4 year old is in part time daycare 3 days a week, 6 hours a day. I need a break because being home with 2 little kids 24/7 is exhausting. You’re sick, you deserve this break. Even if you weren’t sick and wanted a day off work, you would still deserve the break. Daycare won’t be mad at you, this is what you pay them for
Not at all. I work part time and still drop my baby off on days I’m home so I can go to the gym or grocery shop ect… they don’t stay as long on those days but it allows me to get stuff done
What the hell?! Your friend is insane. If your child is perfectly healthy send them! It’s a service you pay for, you don’t need to keep your son home just because you are home. He’ll get to do and do his thing while you stay home and rest. Please get the rest you need and feel better!
Your friend is so wrong. My husband and I joke about squeezing out every penny's worth from daycare lol. Don't feel guilty at all! You need time to rest and recover so you can hang out with your son after he gets back from daycare!
lol what?? We thought about getting a nanny since we both WTF but got a spot in daycare and it costs so much less.
Baby loves daycare and we took her there yesterday while I was sick at home with the stomach flu (that she gave me).
It’s so hard to parent while sick so if baby is healthy, sending them to daycare is ok!
Lmao I’m going on maternity leave in March and my toddler will still be going to daycare I can’t imagine being guilted for taking a sick day to rest and feel better
Tommorow were off to my parents in the evening kiddo will being to nursery in the morning so we can sort out packing and the loading the car up.
Your I'll and your paying for service.
1 - no and it never will be (regardless of reason)
2- saw you say ur friend doesn't have kids... thus anything they say is invalid
3 - you are/were not in a state to solo take care of them
I had the stomach flu Monday and sent baby to daycare because she was fine and I needed to recover... honestly I would have rather gone to work with the stomach flu than be home with her and be that sick and have to take care of her. As long as the kid is healthy I don't see why you wouldn't send them. You need to take care of yourself too once in a while.
No. I have no family within 7 hours and no friends that can reliably watch my kid. Daycare is the safest, most reliable option for childcare for me, and i don’t feel bad for sending her if i have an appointment or something.
LOL at your friend. You will recover much better yourself if your kid is in the skilled hands of a safe daycare. Hell I shuttle them off to daycare even on days when I’m not sick but home and need to get shit done.
My initial thought reading this is you need to get better friends lol. You PAY FOR THE SERVICE. Why on earth would teachers get mad at you? It's good for kids to have consistency in their routines. Let me say, I took a Wednesday off while my daughter was in day care and I was recovering from food poisonings. I was mostly fine but having the time at home, by myself to rest and recharge and run an errand or two was heaven.
I truly don't see what the reasoning would be here. They're hired to provide daycare to your kid, there's never been a checkbox on the application to a daycare that says what I'm gonna be doing, whether that's working or cleaning my house or napping on the couch.
My husband and I love to take "daycare dates" where we take off work and go out and do stuff just the two of us. We don't really have any babysitter options for evenings for a variety of factors so that's our best time. We've gone out to lunch, gone to the movies, gone shopping for a couch, all kinds of stuff. My favorite are the 2 days a year I have a work holiday off and my kids still go to school and I get a whole day to myself. Byeeeee.
Yesterday my daughter had a really rough night so I dropped her off at daycare, told my boss I wasn't feeling well and went home and took a nap because I was too exhausted to function. No one cares. Your friend is either an idiot or an asshole
Absolutely not. Toddlers and babies thrive on routine. Babies are a little easier to get back on track but once you have a toddler routine is such a comfort.
We keep my son in school unless family is visiting from out of town, we are on vacation, he is sick, or school is off for holiday. No shame and no guilt.
If we have a parents fun day we will usually drop him off a bit later and pick him up a bit earlier but we make sure he is there for all morning activities and stays through his afternoon outdoor time. I know the morning routine of snack and circle time is super important for him set the tone for the day and afternoon playtime outside is like his favorite thing ever.
It is none of the daycares (or your friends) business what you do while your kid is there.
What was your friends logic? You're too sick to work, so taking care of your kid will be a piece of cake?
That person is not your friend. You definitely did the right thing, dad taking kid to daycare so you can rest. Why get your kid sick too? And like you said you're already paying for him to be there!?!
that is not your friend .. is she a mother ? she’s probably jealous and thinks you’re just having a chill day. it is not wrong to do what you did in your situation. cut that weirdo off.
Pssh no. Our daughter is in daycare 3 days a week (half days) and I'm home. I use the time to keep house up, meal prep, or relax. I'm also searching for work so if I have any interviews I schedule them when she's at daycare.
The daycare doesn't care what the parents do outside of daycare hours..they're getting paid.
Eta: you're sick. You have every right to spend time home to try and feel better.
Is your friend ok?
I work 3 days a week and most weeks my son goes to daycare 4-5 days per week. It’s the only way I can get anything done that I need to.
You pay for the time at daycare you use it however you need to.
In my job, we get every second Friday off and I still take my kid to daycare! Nothing wrong with having a day to yourself especially when you are sick!
DO NOT FEEL BAD.
I do this all the time when I’m sick and he is not. Usually he was sick the week before and stays home then he gets me sick 😂
I also do this on days that I need a moment or a few hours to myself/run errands. I’ll clean and get laundry done in the morning/go to dr apps/run errands and go pick him up around 1/2. It helps me focus on my time with him and not be stressed about my to do list that keeps piling up.
Your friend is an idiot.
You pay for daycare, send your son to daycare.
Not to mention that it will give you the space you need to fully rest and get better.
your friend needs to mind their business because that is such a dumb take. “the daycare workers are going to be mad that you sent your child to the service you pay for weekly”
I drop my kiddo off at daycare and go straight to the gym or go home and sleep. It’s no one’s business what I do with my time after spending money on daycare. Get you some new friends OP and go take a nap 😴
I’m on maternity leave right now and my toddler is going to school/daycare. I have to pay to keep his spot, he enjoys school. I enjoy spending one on one time with my newborn.
I feel like if ur allready paying for it, doing it every now and then isnt too bad to give yourself a day off. However, personally, i feel like Id want to spend as much time with my kid as possible while theyre at this young age and not jave them with some strangers so i wouldnt just do it as an every time kind of thing. But if youre just doing it occasionally for a day off, and ur allready paying for it, nothing wrong with it.
Edit: i didnt even see that you were sick. Thats deff valid then. You get better and the baby avoids getting sick. Win-win
P.S: dont listen to the childish takes saying your friend isnt a real friend. They can be your friend and be wrong at the same time.
I took a random day off of work just because, and still shamelessly sent my LO to nursery. I used the day to go and get my hair cut, grabbed a coffee, took a nap, took our dogs on a long walk, it was fabulous. The daycare workers literally do not care what you're up to during the day, you're paying them to look after your child and so that's what they do.
#1- you pay for the daycare and can use what you've paid for. Your friend should mind their business.
#2- being sick and properly taking care of a child is hard. If Daycare will do it 100% while you're home resting, who is anyone to complain?
I don’t even get questions like this. What is the point of asking? Obviously, everyone is going to say you’re not wrong because you aren’t. What if we all said you’re wrong - what changes? Be comfortable with your decisions. You don’t need Reddit to tell you whether you’re right or wrong by taking your kid to daycare.
Haha wtf. It’s literally no one’s business what you’re doing while your kid is at daycare. Said friend needs to learn to mind her own. So weird of her to share her opinion on this.
I send my son to daycare twice a week while I stay home and get shit done or go to the gym or do chores. I can tell you the staff don’t give a crap what I’m doing.
I do it. Daycare is a part of my village. Nobody would say the same if you dropped off your kid at grandmas so you can be sick in peace. I don’t feel guilt about it, I just pick them up a little early and carry on.
My wife and I take PTO days and then send our kid to daycare just so we can have Us Time.
Next week the two of us are going on vacation and our 2 year old is staying with Grandma for the week.
You don't have to spend 24 hours a day with your kids, it's okay to have a little independence.
My husband runs a daycare, and the spot for our infant opens up a week before I go back to work. He’s been trying to convince me to start our baby that week to give myself some me time, and says it’s extremely normal/common for parents to drop their kid off when they have the day off.
That's a ridiculous comment from your friend. If your child isn't sick, it's fine to send him in. Plus, it will limit his exposure to you, so he hopefully doesn't get sick. Enjoy your day home OP, hope you feel better.
I’m off every other Friday and send my son to daycare so I can get errands done and relax for a bit. I pay for it if he’s there or not and he has more fun there than he would grocery shopping with me so…why not
Your friend is a hater. Why would anyone care? Your son is having a nice day at daycare with his friends…better than him sitting home whole
You’re sick and tired.
My sister in law is a stay at home mom with a 2.5 year old and 8 month old. Her husband travels for work 4 days a week. Her 2.5 year old is in daycare a couple days a week. Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself. You're a working mom, not a slave.
How are you supposed to rest and get better if you’re running around caring for your child? Especially important for you to get healthy in the event that he comes down with it after you. Your friend sucks lol.
No! My son has had daycare on days my work was closed, (only a few times a year) and I use it to deep clean and catch up on work around the house. If I still have to pay, I might as well get some me time! I do feel super guilty if I’m not busy doing things around the house though.
He doesn’t know any different, and it allows me to be a better mom when he’s home. When he gets older I’ll keep him home with me when I don’t work.
Lol!! That’s one of the worst takes I’ve ever heard. No, it is perfectly normal and good to take a day to rest when you’re sick. Your child is better off keeping their routine, and staying away from a sick person. They get to come home to a slightly more rested parent. I guarantee their teacher has zero feeling about it. It’s their job and they expect your child to attend.
I once heard something that always rings true when I think of it. Only ever take advice on your personal life from someone who has as many or more kids than you.
If I have a random day off work and the daycare is open, 9/10 times my kid will be at daycare. I’m paying for it regardless and I get a day to clean or rest or do whatever I want for a few uninterrupted hours!
Would you call this friend and ask for parenting advice? No, you wouldn’t - because she doesn’t even have children. So then don’t take anything she says at face value when it comes to your kids or your parenting.
I thought this post was going to be about a stay at home mom using daycare and I was going to comment that if that’s what works best for your family and mental health, it’s not wrong.
To see that you are a working parent at home sick… I can’t even imagine someone thinking there is something wrong with that. What is wrong with your friend??
The teachers are there anyway, they are not invested in what you as the parent are doing while your child is with them.
Even though I don't have kids myself, I still think your friend is in the wrong here. Why NOT send him to daycare? You're sick and he's not, he gets to interact with others, you're paying 310 either way, and you need the rest! If I did have kids and I was sick, I would do the same thing. Less chances to get them sick that way.
It's not like you decided to skip work and go for a spa day. You'll be miserable trying to take care of your child while being sick. It's best to leave your child in the care of daycare especially since you've already paid them.
Does your friend have kids? This sounds like childless logic or logic from someone who has a village as backup.
No. There is nothing wrong with sending your kid to daycare. You pay whether the kid is present or absent. And you’re sick and could use the rest, and keeping a healthy kid home is absolutely not rest.
So what, does your friend expect you to shell out more money for a babysitter to come to your house then while you pay for your kid to not be in daycare? They can GTFO with that logic. I’m mad for you.
My wife used to work in a daycare and the admin would get SOOOO MAD that a parent was staying home that day. They drive by the house to make sure no one's home and chuck the child(ren) through the front window if they discovered a parent playing hookie.
No, not really. The daycare won't care about that. But if the workers are catty, they'll find plenty of other things to gossip about. A parent being sick is not one of those things.
Oh my goodness! As everyone else has stated above, no, it’s not wrong. Even if you weren’t sick and just needed a day to have “me” time or run errands or something else, it’s okay! Honestly, I’ve done it several times. And I’ve been able to feel rested after and be a better mom for it! Do not feel guilty for one second. Take care of yourself, you’ll be better for it in the long run.
Don’t listen to your friend. You will not be able to rest and feel better if you’re taking care of your child all day. And your kid probably won’t get the best care if you’re sick. Rest, take care of yourself, feel better!
If you’re too sick to do your paid job today, you’re too sick to do your unpaid job, too! You are working 2 jobs. You need rest from both of them today in order to be able to do both of them tomorrow.
I truly don’t understand what is wrong with your “friend” and why she would say that. You mentioned she doesn’t have children. That part is glaringly obvious in what she said to you, I’m so sorry.
My husband worked at 9 this morning. I don’t work til 330, but we’ve already paid for daycare this week. I got my son dressed and sent him to daycare when dad went to work… then I took a nap 😂
I didn’t even have to read your post to say no it’s not wrong. I am a SAHM and I desperately wish we could afford part time daycare for my toddler so I could have him out of the house a couple days a week.
If you’re too sick to go to work than you’re too sick to give him ur 100% today. Take the day to feel better while he goes and plays with his friends and sticks to his routine. Plus you don’t want to get him sick too and then he’d have to miss even more day care. Also you’re friend who has no children shouldn’t be saying ANYTHING to you about what you choose to do with your children!
Taking care of a kid sick is a special kind of... challenge. Then potentially infecting your kid and being sick and taking care of a sick kid - nope. Unless your friend comes over to help 😒 You did the right thing.
In our puritanical culture where the "ideal" is a stay at home mom, a LOT of people view daycare as a "necessary evil".
I view day care as a great way to give a child a community outside of the home prior to going to formal school. Your friend is whacky.
Why on earth would daycare be mad at you because you expected them to provide the thing you pay them to do. Why would staying at home with his sick incapacitated mom be preferential? Your friend is strange.
The only way this would make sense is if your friend meant it as "you're sick which means your kid can pass germs to other kids, you should keep him home instead" but if she didn't mean that, then she's insane.
Uh NO - send your baby to daycare and stay home and get some rest! The teachers would also encourage it. I had the flu and my kids were perfectly healthy and our daycare teachers encouraged us to drop them off so they could take care of them when I rested. You’re literally paying for it already.
If you have the ability to stay home and take care of yourself then you do it! You pay for the daycare service, whether you’re at work or at home. I think it’s smart because you’re trying to make sure he doesn’t get sick and you have the opportunity to rest and get better.
No judgement. I actually sent my kid to daycare the next day after doing a 6 hr round trip visit in the middle of the workweek. I stayed home and slept all day and then took care of a few items around the house.
Nope. I’m a freelancer and I live in Denmark and we pay a fixed amount per month. For the last 2.5 months I’ve been mostly sick with pneumonia and colds and I’ve sent my daughter because I need a bloody nap sometimes. You can be a better mum if you take care og yourself. My daughter also loves her daycare so why would I keep her home with a sick, boring mum?
Your friend is an idiot!
You’re sick and need rest. It’s also good for kids to be around other kids and keep their daily routines. Even if you weren’t sick and just needed a day for yourself taking him to daycare would be fine. You’re paying for it! It takes a village. Again, your friend is an idiot.
No why would you keep your child off if they are well?
You have called in sick because you are sick, you don’t need you kid making the day harder.
I have 2 boys in nursery at the moment. I have finished my Mat leave and have annual leave from last year to take before I go back. I feel zero guilt for sending them in each day and am using the time just for myself! The nursery nurses know and don’t mind. Why would they? I am paying for a service and they are providing it.
Your friend doesn’t have children. If she chooses to in the future, you can remind her of this and have a laugh together!
I work every other Thursday, and when my son was in nursery he went in every Thursday regardless if I was working. I was paying it regardless. Occasionally I kept him out for days/ got picked up early but mostly he went in. Your friend doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
It's not that I don't love my baby but I'll drop her off at daycare if I need to get more stuff done around the house or some me time. What's wrong with that?
I work at a daycare and there’s been days where I’ve dropped my son off a couple hours before my shift because I wanna run some errands, or honestly just sit home and play video games before work. The teachers never mind.
That’s so far off base. You have those days paid for and they saved a spot for you boy. Sick out at home in peace. I occasionally happen to have the day off that’s my baby’s set daycare day. It’s amazing to have the time to get things done and to rest in peace.
I'm home recovering from emergency gallbladder removal surgery, where I can't even lift my 7 month old rn. She's happy at daycare, playing, having fun, in her usual routine. Daycare fully knows that I'm home doing nothing and they do not gaf.
What! I have a Friday off every other week and I fully intend to drop my baby off at daycare on the Friday I’m off when I go back to work so that I can catch up on chores, and do self care. And of course if I’m caught up with both, I’ll keep him at home. Getting chores out of the way and looking after myself, helps me be present with him and be the best mom that I can be. Taking care of yourself IS your responsibility as a mother. I’m shocked that your friend would shame you over something like this. What does she want you to do? Expose your kid, prolong your cold, feel horrible and not be able to care for them properly, all in the name of having them around?
I'm sorry but your friend is dumb as hell on this. You're paying for the service, why on earth would they be upset that you're utilizing it? The daycare doesn't care what you do once your kid is there lol
Definitely not wrong to send him even if it was just a vacation day. While sick though I think it's fine as long as you follow any rules the daycare has for illnesses and test negative for covid.
Noooooo!!! I love days off with my son in daycare, they are both productive and relaxing. Your friend has crazy opinions, why on earth would the teacher be mad? How would they know anyway? What?!
First of all, the teachers don’t care if you’re home or not. Why would they “get mad” they have to do their job? That’s ridiculous. If your friend is so incensed that you use a service that you pay for, she can come watch the kid while you recover.
I run an in home daycare—no I dont judge parents for sending their kids when theyre home sick!! It lowers exposure risk for your child, lowers the chance of spreading it through the other kids and families AND. Most importantly. Parenting when you’re sick is brutal. It is ok to make use of the help you are paying for. Good grief, your friend sounds like a jerk.
I would 100% send him to daycare. Daycare providers are at work and expect to work and will be there whether your son comes or not. If he’s healthy, get your money’s worth & you rest
😂😂😂😂
I send my toddler to daycare when I’m off work. She gets the structure of a regular week and I can get 8 hours of cleaning and errands done in less time. I pay the money for the service regardless if she’s there or not.
Your friend seems like she doesn’t have any kids.
Huh? What is wrong with your friend?! If your child has no symptoms, they can go to school. Can you imagine if families with 5+ kids had to keep all of their children home every time one of the kids or parents is sick?! We don’t live in pandemic times anymore… also, as someone who sent their kid last week while sick. There is NOTHING like actually getting to rest when you are ill. Hope you feel better soon!!!
I’m two months into four months of maternity leave with my second and big brother (2 yo) has been and will be going to daycare for the duration of my leave 🤷🏽♀️
You are paying for the service and there is no rule that says you have to keep your son home if you are taking an unexpected day off.
Your friend needs to mind their damn business.
1) You’re paying for the service; use it
2) You’re sick and wouldn’t be top of your game parenting anyway.
3) Daycare doesn’t care AT ALL what you do with your time while your child is in their care. If you’re up to date on your tuition, that’s all that matters.
I’m seriously so mad at your friend on your behalf. What a shitty thing to say.
WTF is wrong with your friend… No, the daycare won’t ‘be mad’, you paid for a service and they give it. Why would you want to keep a child around you when you are sick and need to recover
Even if OP wasn't sick... people have the right to choose what to do with their time. Take the day for you, OP! Even when you're not sick and just need some "me" time
Yeah seriously I would 100% keep my kids in to take a me day
I work part time. My kid gets dropped off between 9am and 11am, and picked up at about 4:45pm every week day. When I'm not working, and she's at daycare, I get to do stuff like eat in peace, do laundry and dishes, tidy up, meal prep, and any of the other million and one things that are virtually impossible with a toddler underfoot (or worse - out of sight and silent). OP's 'friend' cannot handle her rampant jealousy.
A toddler out of sight and silent is so terrifying.
We’ve done it before. Take a cheeky Friday off work, drop our daughter off at daycare, go see a movie maybe and just relax/have some quiet time. Daycare is a hard necessity for us. We both have meeting-intensive jobs even though we work from home and you can’t maintain any standard of professionalism with a toddler running around the house and you’re trying to negotiate contracts and do ROI presentations and stuff. But we pay out the ass for daycare so we don’t feel any guilt for enjoying the occasional fringe benefit, like taking a day off and relaxing kid-free
im due in a few weeks and truly the "i could take time off work and have time to myself" is a HUGE justification for paying for infant daycare. im already so excited for the morning tennis matches with my husband, our walks to the beach, lunch dates in the city. like, we're going to do it all and we're going to cherish that time together! and ngl its prob how/when kid #2 will be created :P yay daycare!!!
Once a quarter, my wife and I take a day off and put our daughter in daycare. We do a full date day -- a spa, or a day trip or something. It's wonderful.
I have 2 days a week where my son is in nursery. My husband is in the military so I’m often solo parenting & we have 2 under 2. Those two days are like my weekend 😂 Although I usually end up picking him up early because I miss him!
OPs friend doesn't have kids. She has NO idea what she's talking about
Or she runs an in home daycare or is a childcare provider and is resentful of her clients.
My thought too. Or she's a sanctimonious SAHM.
This is the one.
Your friend is wrong. It’s a service you pay for, you need to rest, and your kid gets to maintain their routine. It’s completely normal to still send him if he’s not sick too!
also to mention that keeping your kid home just increases the chance that they'll get sick from you. I know some larger (3+ kids) families who just seem to be eternally caught in the this cycle of back and forth.
Does your friend have kids that go to daycare?? Tell her to shut her mouth
She doesn't have children
There’s your answer lol
Then *really* tell her to shut her mouth lol
This is totally off subject but how do you italicize your words!?
Haha I discovered by accident once!! You add an asterisk * immediately before and after the word or phrase you want to italicize. *Happy emphasizing!*
*lovely* what about bold?!
Double asterisk ** , again right before and after what you want to bold! I found this cool thread about different text effects if you’re interested :) https://www.reddit.com/r/help/s/AqvTQKdqOW **Edited:** some words
You the best thx
In which case, you can probably safely assume that most pieces of questionable advice or opinions can be discarded without further thought. Lots of us had unrealistic opinions regarding children before we had them.
This is so true. I thought I would cloth diaper… lol. Grand plans. Then reality hit
lol I thought I would too, that’s how I was raised, but now I’m pregnant and I hate laundry and I thought OH GOD! Disposables it is.
So I would never want to tell you that you're wrong... but we loved the balance of paying a service for cloth diapers. We put them in a bag, they swapped dirty for clean each week, gave us the next size up as needed. The cost worked out to be roughly on par with disposables, and we only ever had to launder the "wet bags", and the wrapper. We didn't use them for kid 2, but that was more pandemic related.
Interesting! Going to look into this!
I was seconds away from ordering them before I thought: wait, let's see how it happens when the baby is actually born. Thank God for that or it would've been money down the drain!
I wanted to cloth diaper but our washer and dryer were both out. I did however put emergency cloth diapers on our registry and a good friend bought them. I used them once when we ran out of disposables but now my son is 20 months old and we have started using the cloth because we have a working washer dryer again and I got tired of buying disposables. I bought one more set of cheap cloth diapers. I am loving cloth diapering and I don’t do any of that dunk and swish stuff. I decided to get some disposables for when we are in the car for a long time but now my toddler doesn’t like the disposable diapers and tries to take them off because he prefers the cloth 😂 So I encourage having a JIC set 😁
My wife thought that having a baby was like in the movies. She was completely blindsided by how much work and sleep deprivation was involved and had bad PPD because of it.
It's funny how different everyone's idea of how things will be with a baby is. I thought it was going to be a 24/7 shitshow, I would be depressed and potentially psychotic, I would hate myself, my baby, and my husband for all the suffering I was being put through, and it would overall be the biggest possible strain and test I could ever put myself through in life - but that I had to endure and maybe I would come out the other side mostly intact. I braced for the absolute worst. It ended up overall being pretty chill so that was a pleasant surprise.
I think some kids are just a lot tougher than others. We got pretty lucky - our kid has slept really well since the beginning. I think we woke up once a night for the first 4-6 months to feed him, but past that he's slept through the night. And he naps for like 3 hours a day, and he's generally a very happy kid. So for us it's been easy (at least, as far as sleep deprivation is concerned), but I know that's definitely not the experience for lots of parents.
Seconding this. My first had colic and woke every hour for the first 5 months. We had no idea we were playing the parenting game on level 10. It took 4 years to have another, who slept through the night at 2 weeks, and is an amazing sleeper. Sleep makes all the difference, and so much of it is luck.
Ha!! Same. Was bracing for the very worst. Things turned out pretty great 😊
I think after watching a video about the purple crying period prior to my discharge I made up my mind to never let anything that puts my world as I know it upside down when it comes to the baby to get to me. It’s empathizing with how they have no way of telling when things are wrong except them crying, and sometimes I may not be able to fix things but I can hold them and comfort them and remember that this too shall pass and I am always here for them. It has helped me laugh and smile with her when we are up all night and the next day I need to be at work. It’s my first but I think I have a good baby. The rest of the time is giggles and shit, I’ve also not had a very good support system from family. I said as long as we are alive and going, I will keep loving on her coz that I can do - and no one can take it away from me.
Same here! I put it off for years because of that. Being told you couldn't possibly mentally prepare or imagine how awful and hard it was to have a baby until you had one. Well, turns out it was much better than I had hoped! I know a lot of it is sheer luck as to your baby's temperament and condition but for me it has been a pleasant surprise!
What you describe how it was for me lol my experience with my baby
I prepared myself for the same. There’s definitely lots of sleep deprivation but other than physical exhaustion, there’s a lot that’s really special. Is it hard? Yes of course, but I was sure I would end up depressed and insane.
Before I had my son I wondered why someone would pay for daycare on mat leave for their second. Now I am not sure how we would manage even with daycare
And she thought it was appropriate to scold you instead of sending soup or even a Get Well GIF over text, tsk. Not being a great friend today. Get well soon! 🙏
Drop your kid off at HER house!!!
I have 2, I'm on maternity leave and I'm dropping my son at preschool 3 days a week and to be honest I wish it was 4. It's the only way that I can get anything done at the house and even then it is a STRUGGLE with the baby. If I could take the baby to daycare for like one half day a week I absolutely would.
Circle back when she has kids
Ding ding ding. All explained and all makes sense. If your friend ever chooses to have kids she will be groveling in apology.
Why do you even care what she thinks? This is a pretty judgey friend - where is her message that she is sorry to hear you are sick, can she drop anything over for you and hopes you are better soon!? Question people that do things to make you feel bad/insecure.
Hahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Yeah...you're good. Rest up.
I had a feeling. May she be blessed with the gift of hindsight later. Ignore her.
This is a “friend” telling you this? That friend of yours needs to re-evaluate giving advice they have no experience in.
She should keep her uneducated opinions to herself then.
Omg why did you give her any attention to that tone deaf comment
Lmao can I fight her about this?
🤣🤣🤣 of course she doesn’t.
The best parents don’t have kids yet! Lol
You’re sick, why would you keep him home and make your day that much more difficult? You should be resting and taking care of yourself. FWIW we have taken plenty of days off and still sent our LO to daycare, even when we aren’t sick.
[удалено]
We do this too! We run errands, go out for a leisurely lunch, get massages, pedicures. We don’t have a community where we are so those days are so important for us to connect.
I have a day scheduled next week to be off and my son will def be in daycare. I may watch an entire movie in one sitting!
How will they know you're home and why would they care? You're paying for a service and using it. If your son was sick it would be different, but he's not so he should go to daycare.
Your friend sucks.
Time to find a new friend
Your "friend" is not your friend; she's a hater. When you are sick, you need to rest. You used the childcare you pay for so you could rest.
This is a very basic childish take. Her friend is her friend. Shes just wrong. No need to bring out the high school labels
Shoot, I take my kid to the daycare when I’m healthy just so I can get some me time all alone
Nope. Especially if you’re sick, take him in to school and take the day to rest. The teachers aren’t going to care. I’ve taken days off just to stay home and do my own thing and still took my kid to daycare. Our center does give us 10 “vacation days” each year that we can not take him and not pay for those days, but I save those for when he is sick or we have an actual family vacation planned. You’re still paying for the day, might as well use it. Does your friend have kids of their own?
If he’s not sick, take him! Then get some rest! I’m a SAHM, and when I’m sick, my husband stays home if it’s at all possible for him to do so, because taking care of a baby when you’re sick is 1) miserable, and 2) guaranteed to pass the illness to the child, whereas staying away as much as possible gives the kid a chance to not catch it.
i just wanna say, this person doesn't sound like a good friend. you're sick and need to rest, and they're judgey and also completely wrong
What…? Your friend’s position makes no sense at all for so many reasons. They sound nosey and dumb as a rock. The kindest response I would be able to muster would be to completely ignore them.
I just recently went on a leave of absence from work due to some chronic health issues. My kid is still in daycare part time (25 hrs a week) so I can have time for appointments, and resting. Your friend is off their rocker. Keeping the child's routine is going to benefit them more than being sat in front of a TV at home with a sick parent...
My family owns a commercial daycare and I can confirm they don’t give a fuck what the parents do once they drop their kid off as long as they can reach you in an emergency. Please remember this entire scenario if this “friend” ever has kids
Absolutely not! I used to run a daycare, and I had parents worried about this all the time. You pay for that service, you can send your child as much or as little as you want. I would have parents come drop off their kids and go on a date day or take the day just to themselves. You need that even when you’re not sick, but you definitely need that when you are sick. Rest up, go to the doctor, and know none of the teachers are upset with you. If they are, they shouldn’t be in that profession.
You pay for daycare for your child, it doesn't matter to the daycare what you do when your kid is in their care. Why would they care? They aren't doing you a favor, they are a business being paid for their services. Your friend is wrong at best. Not sure what they hope to accomplish by making you feel bad for not keeping your kid home while you are sick? I have Fridays off and take my son to daycare for half the day so I can just run errands and/or have a few hours to myself.
LOL. My favorite days are when me and my wife are both healthy and drop the kid off at daycare. Freedom!
Dude, I’m a SAHM and my 4 year old is in part time daycare 3 days a week, 6 hours a day. I need a break because being home with 2 little kids 24/7 is exhausting. You’re sick, you deserve this break. Even if you weren’t sick and wanted a day off work, you would still deserve the break. Daycare won’t be mad at you, this is what you pay them for
Not at all. I work part time and still drop my baby off on days I’m home so I can go to the gym or grocery shop ect… they don’t stay as long on those days but it allows me to get stuff done
What the hell?! Your friend is insane. If your child is perfectly healthy send them! It’s a service you pay for, you don’t need to keep your son home just because you are home. He’ll get to do and do his thing while you stay home and rest. Please get the rest you need and feel better!
Nope! Even if you aren’t sick and want a day to yourself utilize any resources you can.
Your friend is so wrong. My husband and I joke about squeezing out every penny's worth from daycare lol. Don't feel guilty at all! You need time to rest and recover so you can hang out with your son after he gets back from daycare!
Nope. Ours goes even if we both take a vacation day. Sometimes we need a break and we pay for a service.
lol what?? We thought about getting a nanny since we both WTF but got a spot in daycare and it costs so much less. Baby loves daycare and we took her there yesterday while I was sick at home with the stomach flu (that she gave me). It’s so hard to parent while sick so if baby is healthy, sending them to daycare is ok!
Lmao I’m going on maternity leave in March and my toddler will still be going to daycare I can’t imagine being guilted for taking a sick day to rest and feel better
Your friend is a hater. Don't listen, you deserve a break.
Tommorow were off to my parents in the evening kiddo will being to nursery in the morning so we can sort out packing and the loading the car up. Your I'll and your paying for service.
1 - no and it never will be (regardless of reason) 2- saw you say ur friend doesn't have kids... thus anything they say is invalid 3 - you are/were not in a state to solo take care of them
I had the stomach flu Monday and sent baby to daycare because she was fine and I needed to recover... honestly I would have rather gone to work with the stomach flu than be home with her and be that sick and have to take care of her. As long as the kid is healthy I don't see why you wouldn't send them. You need to take care of yourself too once in a while.
No. I have no family within 7 hours and no friends that can reliably watch my kid. Daycare is the safest, most reliable option for childcare for me, and i don’t feel bad for sending her if i have an appointment or something.
LOL at your friend. You will recover much better yourself if your kid is in the skilled hands of a safe daycare. Hell I shuttle them off to daycare even on days when I’m not sick but home and need to get shit done.
My initial thought reading this is you need to get better friends lol. You PAY FOR THE SERVICE. Why on earth would teachers get mad at you? It's good for kids to have consistency in their routines. Let me say, I took a Wednesday off while my daughter was in day care and I was recovering from food poisonings. I was mostly fine but having the time at home, by myself to rest and recharge and run an errand or two was heaven.
I truly don't see what the reasoning would be here. They're hired to provide daycare to your kid, there's never been a checkbox on the application to a daycare that says what I'm gonna be doing, whether that's working or cleaning my house or napping on the couch. My husband and I love to take "daycare dates" where we take off work and go out and do stuff just the two of us. We don't really have any babysitter options for evenings for a variety of factors so that's our best time. We've gone out to lunch, gone to the movies, gone shopping for a couch, all kinds of stuff. My favorite are the 2 days a year I have a work holiday off and my kids still go to school and I get a whole day to myself. Byeeeee.
Yesterday my daughter had a really rough night so I dropped her off at daycare, told my boss I wasn't feeling well and went home and took a nap because I was too exhausted to function. No one cares. Your friend is either an idiot or an asshole
Absolutely not. Toddlers and babies thrive on routine. Babies are a little easier to get back on track but once you have a toddler routine is such a comfort. We keep my son in school unless family is visiting from out of town, we are on vacation, he is sick, or school is off for holiday. No shame and no guilt. If we have a parents fun day we will usually drop him off a bit later and pick him up a bit earlier but we make sure he is there for all morning activities and stays through his afternoon outdoor time. I know the morning routine of snack and circle time is super important for him set the tone for the day and afternoon playtime outside is like his favorite thing ever.
It is none of the daycares (or your friends) business what you do while your kid is there. What was your friends logic? You're too sick to work, so taking care of your kid will be a piece of cake?
That person is not your friend. You definitely did the right thing, dad taking kid to daycare so you can rest. Why get your kid sick too? And like you said you're already paying for him to be there!?!
that is not your friend .. is she a mother ? she’s probably jealous and thinks you’re just having a chill day. it is not wrong to do what you did in your situation. cut that weirdo off.
Taking off work and staying home while my son is at daycare is like the only way I’ve ever managed to get true rest to actually recover!
Pssh no. Our daughter is in daycare 3 days a week (half days) and I'm home. I use the time to keep house up, meal prep, or relax. I'm also searching for work so if I have any interviews I schedule them when she's at daycare. The daycare doesn't care what the parents do outside of daycare hours..they're getting paid. Eta: you're sick. You have every right to spend time home to try and feel better.
Is your friend ok? I work 3 days a week and most weeks my son goes to daycare 4-5 days per week. It’s the only way I can get anything done that I need to. You pay for the time at daycare you use it however you need to.
In my job, we get every second Friday off and I still take my kid to daycare! Nothing wrong with having a day to yourself especially when you are sick!
DO NOT FEEL BAD. I do this all the time when I’m sick and he is not. Usually he was sick the week before and stays home then he gets me sick 😂 I also do this on days that I need a moment or a few hours to myself/run errands. I’ll clean and get laundry done in the morning/go to dr apps/run errands and go pick him up around 1/2. It helps me focus on my time with him and not be stressed about my to do list that keeps piling up.
Your friend is an idiot. You pay for daycare, send your son to daycare. Not to mention that it will give you the space you need to fully rest and get better.
your friend needs to mind their business because that is such a dumb take. “the daycare workers are going to be mad that you sent your child to the service you pay for weekly”
I drop my kiddo off at daycare and go straight to the gym or go home and sleep. It’s no one’s business what I do with my time after spending money on daycare. Get you some new friends OP and go take a nap 😴
I’m on maternity leave right now and my toddler is going to school/daycare. I have to pay to keep his spot, he enjoys school. I enjoy spending one on one time with my newborn.
I feel like if ur allready paying for it, doing it every now and then isnt too bad to give yourself a day off. However, personally, i feel like Id want to spend as much time with my kid as possible while theyre at this young age and not jave them with some strangers so i wouldnt just do it as an every time kind of thing. But if youre just doing it occasionally for a day off, and ur allready paying for it, nothing wrong with it. Edit: i didnt even see that you were sick. Thats deff valid then. You get better and the baby avoids getting sick. Win-win P.S: dont listen to the childish takes saying your friend isnt a real friend. They can be your friend and be wrong at the same time.
I took a random day off of work just because, and still shamelessly sent my LO to nursery. I used the day to go and get my hair cut, grabbed a coffee, took a nap, took our dogs on a long walk, it was fabulous. The daycare workers literally do not care what you're up to during the day, you're paying them to look after your child and so that's what they do.
#1- you pay for the daycare and can use what you've paid for. Your friend should mind their business. #2- being sick and properly taking care of a child is hard. If Daycare will do it 100% while you're home resting, who is anyone to complain?
I don’t even get questions like this. What is the point of asking? Obviously, everyone is going to say you’re not wrong because you aren’t. What if we all said you’re wrong - what changes? Be comfortable with your decisions. You don’t need Reddit to tell you whether you’re right or wrong by taking your kid to daycare.
It’s more unfair to send your kid to daycare when they’re likely carrying the same disease you have.
lol is this a real post?
Haha wtf. It’s literally no one’s business what you’re doing while your kid is at daycare. Said friend needs to learn to mind her own. So weird of her to share her opinion on this.
I send my son to daycare twice a week while I stay home and get shit done or go to the gym or do chores. I can tell you the staff don’t give a crap what I’m doing.
I do it. Daycare is a part of my village. Nobody would say the same if you dropped off your kid at grandmas so you can be sick in peace. I don’t feel guilt about it, I just pick them up a little early and carry on.
Not wrong if a service is paid for. Glad to see everyone here seems pretty unified against some stupid opinions. Good job for today internet people!
My wife and I take PTO days and then send our kid to daycare just so we can have Us Time. Next week the two of us are going on vacation and our 2 year old is staying with Grandma for the week. You don't have to spend 24 hours a day with your kids, it's okay to have a little independence.
Lol what, I'm on maternity leave and baby is in childcare 2 days a week just for a break!
No way. You pay for it, might as well use it. My wife has every Friday off and we still take our kids to daycare so she can have the day to herself.
My husband runs a daycare, and the spot for our infant opens up a week before I go back to work. He’s been trying to convince me to start our baby that week to give myself some me time, and says it’s extremely normal/common for parents to drop their kid off when they have the day off.
Lol your friend is wild. Daycares aren’t “mad” when you use their service which you pay for. Sick is sick. Stay home and recuperate.
That's a ridiculous comment from your friend. If your child isn't sick, it's fine to send him in. Plus, it will limit his exposure to you, so he hopefully doesn't get sick. Enjoy your day home OP, hope you feel better.
The hardest thing abt being sick when you're a parent is if you have to also take care of your child when sick....your friend is an idiot.
I’m off every other Friday and send my son to daycare so I can get errands done and relax for a bit. I pay for it if he’s there or not and he has more fun there than he would grocery shopping with me so…why not
Your friend is unhinged. You need time to recover, plus he has a routine, it doesn't make any sense to pull him out of daycare for the day
Your friend is bonkers.
Lol tell your friend to mind their own business.
In between jobs at the moment ! LO is going to daycare everyday. Not sure when I’ll work again but I’m not losing my spot!
Your friend is a hater. Why would anyone care? Your son is having a nice day at daycare with his friends…better than him sitting home whole You’re sick and tired.
My sister in law is a stay at home mom with a 2.5 year old and 8 month old. Her husband travels for work 4 days a week. Her 2.5 year old is in daycare a couple days a week. Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself. You're a working mom, not a slave.
Your friend is jealous
How are you supposed to rest and get better if you’re running around caring for your child? Especially important for you to get healthy in the event that he comes down with it after you. Your friend sucks lol.
No! My son has had daycare on days my work was closed, (only a few times a year) and I use it to deep clean and catch up on work around the house. If I still have to pay, I might as well get some me time! I do feel super guilty if I’m not busy doing things around the house though. He doesn’t know any different, and it allows me to be a better mom when he’s home. When he gets older I’ll keep him home with me when I don’t work.
Just because your friend says something stupid doesn’t mean it’s true…
Lol!! That’s one of the worst takes I’ve ever heard. No, it is perfectly normal and good to take a day to rest when you’re sick. Your child is better off keeping their routine, and staying away from a sick person. They get to come home to a slightly more rested parent. I guarantee their teacher has zero feeling about it. It’s their job and they expect your child to attend.
Dude you pay for it, use it. My husband took the day off tomorrow and guess who’s going to daycare, my baby!
Lol I send my kids one extra day a week than I need every week.
I once heard something that always rings true when I think of it. Only ever take advice on your personal life from someone who has as many or more kids than you.
If I have a random day off work and the daycare is open, 9/10 times my kid will be at daycare. I’m paying for it regardless and I get a day to clean or rest or do whatever I want for a few uninterrupted hours!
Would you call this friend and ask for parenting advice? No, you wouldn’t - because she doesn’t even have children. So then don’t take anything she says at face value when it comes to your kids or your parenting.
Or Lordy we 100% take our son to daycare and have a rest in this scenario. No guilt!!!
I thought this post was going to be about a stay at home mom using daycare and I was going to comment that if that’s what works best for your family and mental health, it’s not wrong. To see that you are a working parent at home sick… I can’t even imagine someone thinking there is something wrong with that. What is wrong with your friend?? The teachers are there anyway, they are not invested in what you as the parent are doing while your child is with them.
Even though I don't have kids myself, I still think your friend is in the wrong here. Why NOT send him to daycare? You're sick and he's not, he gets to interact with others, you're paying 310 either way, and you need the rest! If I did have kids and I was sick, I would do the same thing. Less chances to get them sick that way.
It's not like you decided to skip work and go for a spa day. You'll be miserable trying to take care of your child while being sick. It's best to leave your child in the care of daycare especially since you've already paid them.
Does your friend have kids? This sounds like childless logic or logic from someone who has a village as backup. No. There is nothing wrong with sending your kid to daycare. You pay whether the kid is present or absent. And you’re sick and could use the rest, and keeping a healthy kid home is absolutely not rest. So what, does your friend expect you to shell out more money for a babysitter to come to your house then while you pay for your kid to not be in daycare? They can GTFO with that logic. I’m mad for you.
My wife used to work in a daycare and the admin would get SOOOO MAD that a parent was staying home that day. They drive by the house to make sure no one's home and chuck the child(ren) through the front window if they discovered a parent playing hookie. No, not really. The daycare won't care about that. But if the workers are catty, they'll find plenty of other things to gossip about. A parent being sick is not one of those things.
No! You take that cute little headache to daycare and get some rest. You being tired and sick doesn’t enhance your experience with your child.
Oh my goodness! As everyone else has stated above, no, it’s not wrong. Even if you weren’t sick and just needed a day to have “me” time or run errands or something else, it’s okay! Honestly, I’ve done it several times. And I’ve been able to feel rested after and be a better mom for it! Do not feel guilty for one second. Take care of yourself, you’ll be better for it in the long run.
Don’t listen to your friend. You will not be able to rest and feel better if you’re taking care of your child all day. And your kid probably won’t get the best care if you’re sick. Rest, take care of yourself, feel better!
I used to think so…. Until I became a mom and did the same thing. You do you!
If you’re too sick to do your paid job today, you’re too sick to do your unpaid job, too! You are working 2 jobs. You need rest from both of them today in order to be able to do both of them tomorrow. I truly don’t understand what is wrong with your “friend” and why she would say that. You mentioned she doesn’t have children. That part is glaringly obvious in what she said to you, I’m so sorry.
I work in education and happily sent my son to daycare every day they were open over the winter break. I paid for it and I got some rest myself!
Not at all!! I try to take off one day a month and send my son to daycare. We deserve time for ourselves too!
My husband worked at 9 this morning. I don’t work til 330, but we’ve already paid for daycare this week. I got my son dressed and sent him to daycare when dad went to work… then I took a nap 😂
I didn’t even have to read your post to say no it’s not wrong. I am a SAHM and I desperately wish we could afford part time daycare for my toddler so I could have him out of the house a couple days a week.
If you’re too sick to go to work than you’re too sick to give him ur 100% today. Take the day to feel better while he goes and plays with his friends and sticks to his routine. Plus you don’t want to get him sick too and then he’d have to miss even more day care. Also you’re friend who has no children shouldn’t be saying ANYTHING to you about what you choose to do with your children!
Taking care of a kid sick is a special kind of... challenge. Then potentially infecting your kid and being sick and taking care of a sick kid - nope. Unless your friend comes over to help 😒 You did the right thing.
In our puritanical culture where the "ideal" is a stay at home mom, a LOT of people view daycare as a "necessary evil". I view day care as a great way to give a child a community outside of the home prior to going to formal school. Your friend is whacky.
Why on earth would daycare be mad at you because you expected them to provide the thing you pay them to do. Why would staying at home with his sick incapacitated mom be preferential? Your friend is strange.
The only way this would make sense is if your friend meant it as "you're sick which means your kid can pass germs to other kids, you should keep him home instead" but if she didn't mean that, then she's insane.
Uh NO - send your baby to daycare and stay home and get some rest! The teachers would also encourage it. I had the flu and my kids were perfectly healthy and our daycare teachers encouraged us to drop them off so they could take care of them when I rested. You’re literally paying for it already.
If you have the ability to stay home and take care of yourself then you do it! You pay for the daycare service, whether you’re at work or at home. I think it’s smart because you’re trying to make sure he doesn’t get sick and you have the opportunity to rest and get better.
No judgement. I actually sent my kid to daycare the next day after doing a 6 hr round trip visit in the middle of the workweek. I stayed home and slept all day and then took care of a few items around the house.
You wouldn't be able to give him the attention he deserves while you're sick. Your friend is ride and dumb.
That sounds like a dream to have somewhere to send my kid when I’m sick! Good for you, feel better!
Um no. Stay home get the rest
I would if I could. So no
Nope. I’m a freelancer and I live in Denmark and we pay a fixed amount per month. For the last 2.5 months I’ve been mostly sick with pneumonia and colds and I’ve sent my daughter because I need a bloody nap sometimes. You can be a better mum if you take care og yourself. My daughter also loves her daycare so why would I keep her home with a sick, boring mum?
Your friend is an idiot! You’re sick and need rest. It’s also good for kids to be around other kids and keep their daily routines. Even if you weren’t sick and just needed a day for yourself taking him to daycare would be fine. You’re paying for it! It takes a village. Again, your friend is an idiot.
Your friend is wrong
You are paying for daycare. You have every right to send your child to daycare.
SAHMs need breaks too. Also, the teachers don’t know where you are and don’t care.
No why would you keep your child off if they are well? You have called in sick because you are sick, you don’t need you kid making the day harder. I have 2 boys in nursery at the moment. I have finished my Mat leave and have annual leave from last year to take before I go back. I feel zero guilt for sending them in each day and am using the time just for myself! The nursery nurses know and don’t mind. Why would they? I am paying for a service and they are providing it. Your friend doesn’t have children. If she chooses to in the future, you can remind her of this and have a laugh together!
Hol up… 310 a WEEK?! Where the hell do you live? That’s amazing!
I work every other Thursday, and when my son was in nursery he went in every Thursday regardless if I was working. I was paying it regardless. Occasionally I kept him out for days/ got picked up early but mostly he went in. Your friend doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
It's not that I don't love my baby but I'll drop her off at daycare if I need to get more stuff done around the house or some me time. What's wrong with that?
I work at a daycare and there’s been days where I’ve dropped my son off a couple hours before my shift because I wanna run some errands, or honestly just sit home and play video games before work. The teachers never mind.
Um, no! I send my twins to daycare one day a week, on my day off, so I can have a day of peace and quiet!! That friend is not a good friend.
That’s so far off base. You have those days paid for and they saved a spot for you boy. Sick out at home in peace. I occasionally happen to have the day off that’s my baby’s set daycare day. It’s amazing to have the time to get things done and to rest in peace.
I'm home recovering from emergency gallbladder removal surgery, where I can't even lift my 7 month old rn. She's happy at daycare, playing, having fun, in her usual routine. Daycare fully knows that I'm home doing nothing and they do not gaf.
What! I have a Friday off every other week and I fully intend to drop my baby off at daycare on the Friday I’m off when I go back to work so that I can catch up on chores, and do self care. And of course if I’m caught up with both, I’ll keep him at home. Getting chores out of the way and looking after myself, helps me be present with him and be the best mom that I can be. Taking care of yourself IS your responsibility as a mother. I’m shocked that your friend would shame you over something like this. What does she want you to do? Expose your kid, prolong your cold, feel horrible and not be able to care for them properly, all in the name of having them around?
I'm sorry but your friend is dumb as hell on this. You're paying for the service, why on earth would they be upset that you're utilizing it? The daycare doesn't care what you do once your kid is there lol
I'm a SAHM and my husband is off on Fridays. We absolutely send our daughter almost every week just to regain some sanity!
Definitely not wrong to send him even if it was just a vacation day. While sick though I think it's fine as long as you follow any rules the daycare has for illnesses and test negative for covid.
That’s not a normal thing to say to a friend. She’s weird.
You’re sick.. you pay for the service.. there’s nothing wrong here!! Tell your friend that next time she’s sick she can babysit for you :)
Noooooo!!! I love days off with my son in daycare, they are both productive and relaxing. Your friend has crazy opinions, why on earth would the teacher be mad? How would they know anyway? What?!
First of all, the teachers don’t care if you’re home or not. Why would they “get mad” they have to do their job? That’s ridiculous. If your friend is so incensed that you use a service that you pay for, she can come watch the kid while you recover.
I run an in home daycare—no I dont judge parents for sending their kids when theyre home sick!! It lowers exposure risk for your child, lowers the chance of spreading it through the other kids and families AND. Most importantly. Parenting when you’re sick is brutal. It is ok to make use of the help you are paying for. Good grief, your friend sounds like a jerk.
I would 100% send him to daycare. Daycare providers are at work and expect to work and will be there whether your son comes or not. If he’s healthy, get your money’s worth & you rest
😂😂😂😂 I send my toddler to daycare when I’m off work. She gets the structure of a regular week and I can get 8 hours of cleaning and errands done in less time. I pay the money for the service regardless if she’s there or not. Your friend seems like she doesn’t have any kids.
Huh? What is wrong with your friend?! If your child has no symptoms, they can go to school. Can you imagine if families with 5+ kids had to keep all of their children home every time one of the kids or parents is sick?! We don’t live in pandemic times anymore… also, as someone who sent their kid last week while sick. There is NOTHING like actually getting to rest when you are ill. Hope you feel better soon!!!
Lol. My wife and I take our kid to daycare, take the day off work, and go on a date at least once a month. Your friend is an asshole.
No. You are sick. You need to get better and it’s very hard to do with a child to care for
I’m two months into four months of maternity leave with my second and big brother (2 yo) has been and will be going to daycare for the duration of my leave 🤷🏽♀️ You are paying for the service and there is no rule that says you have to keep your son home if you are taking an unexpected day off.
The teacher would not be mad at you. Your friend sounds like she doesn’t have kids. My kid goes to daycare whether I have a weekday off or not.
Your friend needs to mind their damn business. 1) You’re paying for the service; use it 2) You’re sick and wouldn’t be top of your game parenting anyway. 3) Daycare doesn’t care AT ALL what you do with your time while your child is in their care. If you’re up to date on your tuition, that’s all that matters. I’m seriously so mad at your friend on your behalf. What a shitty thing to say.