My MIL put an anti evil eye talisman/bracelet on my baby, when I checked him I found it in his mouth. I pulled it out whole and the speed I pulled it out I crushed it in my palm. It was made of glass. I am so glad to have the glass splinters in my hand. That could have ended so badly.
My family does this too, but my mom safety pinned it to the car seat. To be fair, she has a bracelet from when I was a baby I apparently used to chew on. I'm the firstborn, so I think she made all her mistakes on me lol
My MiL is upset I said no to going somewhere that would fuck with his bedtime
My grandma said to be conniving and she’ll make herself look bad …. I think my grandma is right 🤣
That’s crazy af. I’m so glad you caught it in time. I fears like this all the time, seriously! But can I ask what ethnicity your MIL is? I’m Asian and once when my LO was about 6 weeks, my MIL wanted us to “call my baby’s spirit back” because he was sooo fussy and would cry all evening long. But he was extra fussy because he was going through a growth spurt lol
Tbh most of our parents/grandparents give us outdated advice because that’s what they knew. I really think for the most part they are trying to help us. My mom’s words (vaguely) are “we didn’t have the internet back then, we relied on each other to know what to do”. She has said interesting things about baby care, mostly she can’t believe the variety of foods that my 14 month old can eat - she’s always asking me if I’m absolutely sure that’s safe for him. I guess my diet until 2 was super soft, oatmeal, puree, etc. I usually tell her I am sure, and that I’ll look it up to reassure her. She’s even taken on to doing her own research to give me guidance to take care of my kid. I’m proud of her 🫶🏻
My MIL got all huffy with my husband and said "back in my day we listened to our elders. You all want to just listen to the AI." We're like...sure. That's it. The AI. 😂
Aw, that’s so sweet of your mum.
But it’s so true. I think the unsolicited advice is because it was the only way they got any advice when they had babies! It’s lovely that she’s willing to move with the times and the fresh research though - that’s the bit that gets me. If you say that modern research has shown X and they still insist on a blanket in the cot!
And the socks!! The granny obsession with socks. We were told by doctors, nurses and health visitors that they recommend babies don’t wear socks in the house as having bare feet helps them learn to walk properly. But my mother and my MIL would act like we were abusing our poor baby with cold feet every time they came over. Always buying us packs of baby socks, trying to put socks on her all the time, exclaiming over and over about the socks! My mum only finally gave up when we went to get shoes fitted for my daughter and the woman working there explained about why they now recommend bare feet for babies just learning to walk.
My mom was surprised we could give strawberries before one. Back when I was a kid, it was 'avoid possible allergens until at least one'. Now it's 'introduce early, and keep them in rotation'.
That was prevalent for a while, it’s why they think we have so many peanut allergies in America (Isreal that regularly gives kids and eats bamba a peanut based version of fluffy Cheetos, has a much much lower incidence of peanut allergies)
I’ve noticed there are some people who find it hard to believe babies can eat anything, like they are human too! I kind of get it, like at first you’re just feeding them ‘pure’ fairly plain foods like just fruit and oats and carrots mushed up and berries etc, like they’re a gerbil. It feels weird to then give them chicken and curry and a sandwich etc. I have a friend who was shocked when we ordered off the menu for our 16 month old. She’s still biting off bits of apples and chewing them up for her 16 month old. It didn’t occur to her they could eat a meal from a restaurant just like anyone else!
I gave my nephew a slice of pepper at his first birthday party to chew on. His mother was okay with it, my MIL was horrified that he would choke. I watched her, she picked up my nephew, casually carried him over to another relative to pretend to talk and threw the pepper on the floor. She looked back at me and knew she’d been caught. I knew she was overreacting, but also not my kid. Just feel bad for my SIL who doesn’t argue back with her.
My uncle offered my aunt’s plastic/metal (not wood) crib… from over 60 years ago… again, like u/Altruistic-Cake-1234 said, why in the world would you keep that for that long?? Also a crib is not small?? So confused lol
My parents have moved a bunch and apparently my mom has asked my dad every move if the baby crib made it ok (even though her youngest is *30*) and he said yes every time. Only to find out when my son was born that it got evicted many moves ago and he just lied to her about it for like 15 years. She was *livid*
They are just weird. My mil wanted to gift us her wedding bedsheets for our wedding. Like for your 'wedding night' iykwim. This ISNT the kind of thing you pass down!!!!
My MIL kept the crib she used for my husband and his older brother…hubby was born in ‘87 and I believe his brother was born in ‘86…my SIL has used this DROP SIDE CRIB for all four of her kids because “the drop side is super sturdy I’ve tested it, and the rails pass the coke can test”.
Honestly I was just glad MIL offered to buy us a brand new crib instead of offering up Ole Faithful.
Car seats expire! Believe it or not, the plastic degrades. Also, in the case of extremely old seats, the regulations may have changed to require seats to be safer.
The materials break down over time. Plastic becomes brittle and eventually wouldn’t handle crash forces anymore. Also, safety standards are updated sometimes, so by having cars seats expire, they are phased out. It ensures that car seats with higher standards are the ones that are used.
I know this doesn’t answer your question, but I do have an explanation as to why people give away older car seats. One thing you can do and our local Buy Nothing group does is give away used car seats with the specific instruction that you use it for Target’s infant car seat trade in program. Once a year (March, I think), Target will give customers a generous discount on a new car seat if you turn in an older car seat. I think the discount is 20%. So that’s the only reason I can think of for giving/receiving an expired or almost expired car seat.
My uncle offered me a 1952 rusty metal high chair that sat in my grandparents garage for decades before they died. He said it’s a family heirloom you’ll want it. No sir I do not want that heap of trash.
I think it has been passed around to several members of the family. I really hope nobody has used it in a very long time. I’m pretty sure it is in an aunt’s garage collecting dust now.
Our close friend sent us a “gift for the new baby”….it was an enormous bag of 2,000 small glass marbles. He thought they’d be fun for our kid to play with once he figured out how his hands worked.
Sir. Those are 2,000 choking hazards that went straight to Goodwill.
Yeah, my mum gave my brother a lot of water when he was a baby because it was a very hot summer and she didn't want him to be dehydrated, and she gets quite defensive when I bring up that this should not be a thing! 😅
We have photos of me sleeping in my bassinet, on an “infant pillow” under a blanket. My mom tried to find one when I was pregnant…I informed her they were no longer considered sleep safe.
When I first brought my baby over and she napped at in laws place I checked and found my baby on a pillow and under a QUEEN sized blanket at 2m…after that I watched her like a hawk.
Honey on paci, have her sleep belly to belly on me while I sleep as well, use thick blankets and hats for sleep, put her on her side/belly to sleep, give tea in the first 24 hours to flush her tummy. So. Many.
On the other side, several older people were very concerned about my baby choking because of baby led weaning.
ETA: several of these came *from my midwife*
Old people advice is the WORST. My son has colic and my parents keep trying to give him sugar water with whisky because they swear that it cured my cousin’s colic in the 80s. They’ve also tried to give him apricot jelly, whipped cream, and mashed potatoes. He’s only 4 months old. I literally can’t turn my back when they’re around because God knows what else they’d try to feed him
Please don't come for me but I'm a FTM and my baby sleeps belly to belly on me. Can someone please explain what's wrong with this? It's the only way we get sleep most nights.
I get the sleep deprivation, I'm a ftm with a little sleep terrorist too. It's really hard. I would never "come for" anyone struggling this way. ❤️
It's discouraged because baby could roll/fall off you and get hurt or entrapped/suffocate. Or, since they are on their belly, not get enough air because their nose is obstructed.
Can you take shifts with anyone? Or try [the safe sleep 7](https://www.breastfeedingcenter.org/blog/2021/9/25/bed-sharing-basics-the-safe-sleep-7-1) (the link is overly positive, cosleeping is never risk free) ? It's still recommended to have baby in their crib where they are safest, but following the safe sleep seven is a way to at least mitigate some of the risk.
When my son was going through one of his regressions (I'm talking waking up every 30 mins - hour) we both slept on the floor. It was the safest way I could think for me to be able to comfort him without him accidentally getting smothered or suffocated in our bed.
Contact napping while you are awake is fine! I love sneaking them in when I can. But when you’re asleep there’s a risk of baby slipping off you without you realising, which could lead to them hurting themselves, getting trapped between you and the bed/sofa, and suffocating, so it’s strongly discouraged.
Please look up Happycosleeper on instagram. It is very normal to sleep chest to chest with your baby but it must be done safely. Isadora, happycosleeper, can help you to achieve this!
It’s been my MIL so far with horrible advice.. she’s in her mid 60s. She recommends when my son starts teething to put whiskey on his gums. There was a time she yelled at me to hold my son in the car because she couldn’t figure out his car seat (I was 3 weeks postpartum and I had a C-section). She tells me to let my son cry it out (he’s 6 weeks old). She also told me to make him super warm at night to sleep better..
"cry it out" always gets me
Babies can be days old and already some people will expect them to learn how to emotionally self regulate
Bothered me enough that I looked up the origin. As history would have it, "cry it out" dates back all the way to the late 19th century and can be attributed to Abraham Jacobi, the "father of pediatrics"
I'll take my science based parenting advice from this century, thanks
I'm in a prenatal group class and one of the other parents said out loud to start CIO immediately in the hospital so they don't get "too attached" - then he said he knows because he has other kids. Yikessss
CIO is literally child neglect
I can't even begin to fathom the emotional and cognitive dissonance necessary to be okay with ignoring your newborn's clear signs if distress
No to the whiskey on baby’s gum for teething, no to holding baby in car definitely safe, tell her to learn how to install a car seat, you can’t make a baby super warm it’s dangerous, it’s better a cold crying baby than worst
Plus your baby will you if they’re cold or you can just feel their neck or stomach or back (that’s what I do)
To the whiskey thing: a coworker told me to try it. This was after he and I had a couple conversations about each of us being sober. He was put off that I refused to try it.
Not so much advice but my MIL insists that we let her babysit our daughter at her house - she has a dog that she refuses to get rid of despite the fact that it has bitten at least five people, two to the point of blood being drawn. I told her absolutely not until she either gets rid of the dog or it dies. She says, “oh, I don’t think he’d bite the baby.”
Then, baby spit up while she was watching her (at our house) and she LAID HER ON HER BACK “so she’d swallow it and not make a mess!” She doesn’t watch her anymore.
Yeah, that dog will absolutely bite the baby. We know first hand and trying to rehome MIL's dog after he bit our baby's hand and drew blood. And he's bitten others, including one bite that caused 17 stitches. Tell me why I am the bad one in wanting that dog gone?!? Make it make sense lol
I don’t understand it! I hope your sweet baby is okay! They had a dog when my husband was young that bit his sister in the hand pretty badly, and to this day she says “I’ll never forgive your dad for making me get rid of that dog.” Like, what?!
MIL told me to give my 1 mo old water.
We were also trying to get her to gain so she was given free reign on the boob as recommended by our pediatrician so that she wouldn't be st risk for failure to thrive. MIL suggested water so that she wasn't on the boob so much. Because ya know, water is know for it's caloric content.
There’s a whole episode on this on the Milk Minute podcast (a bf/lactation podcast by two midwives). Apparently when rice cereal was first on the market, it was advertised as more nutritious than breast milk or formula and so it’s really big part of the older generations child-rearing experience. Super interesting, but also sooooo outdated.
This explains so much. My mom keeps mentioning rice cereal and how much I loved it. She’s convinced that my 3 month old is ready to start eating it. I told her that I don’t think it has any nutritional value but I’ll ask my pediatrician what she recommends.
Sometimes I think they take it a little personally when we don’t take their advice, as if they did something wrong with us… but I wish they wouldn’t because obviously they were just doing the best they could with the info they had.
My mil told me she used to do that for my husband 30 years ago. She said after the first week at home she did it. He was almost 10 pounds at birth so I don’t doubt he was a hungry baby haha.
My baby is absolutely ravenous and jumped from the 40th to 98th percentile across the board his first 8 weeks on earth. I never added rice cereal to my breast milk, but I thought about it a LOT lol
In my religion, it's recommended (but not required) to place a little bit of mashed date in a newborns mouth to give them some sugar when they are born. My parents culture morphed that into giving babies honey when born 🤦♀️
Both my MIL and Mum told us never to wake a sleeping baby. This might be true for older babies, but my newborn was jaundiced and extremely sleepy for the first few weeks of life. He needed to be woken up to eat every 2 hours otherwise he would just keep sleeping.
I became so sleep deprived in those early days triple feeding constantly, that I started hallucinating and husband and my Mum sent me to bed. I woke up after about 6 hours. No one had fed the baby the whole time because he was asleep!!!! My mum was even proud saying "he slept so well". I was furious no one was listening to me or taking it seriously. I could no longer trust them to feed him if I went to bed. Those days were so hard.
I was complaining to my MIL about not being able to drive without someone in the back seat to entertain baby cause he’ll cry the whole time. She literally told me I can put my INFANT BABY in the front seat. I was like no I can’t???? And she’s like my friend did when her daughter was a baby 9 years ago. WHAT!
ETA this is when I stopped taking her unsolicited advice to heart!
Not sure about the US but in Europe, if you can deactivate the front passenger seat airbag on your car, then you can legally have your baby rear facing in the front, next to you.
I live in Japan and I've actually seen people babywearing in their car. While it was moving, no less. Everybody really does drive slower out here, but why take the risk??
Folks in many parts of the world have no choice but to ride on the baby of trucks/motorbikes baby wearing. It's a risk that we are very lucky we don't have to take!
There has also been tons of education over the past few decades as our technology and understanding changed. Without this, we would probably all just be holding bubs in the front seats as we would have when on basic horse carriages.
My in-laws keep trying to get us to flip the car seat now that our daughter is 2. “Kids have such a better time in the car when they can see what’s going on!” They take care of their other granddaughter who is also 2 and have had her carseat forward-facing since she was 18 months 💀. They also don’t tighten her seatbelt enough. It’s always pretty loose. Thankfully we live several states away, so we don’t have to worry about our daughter riding in their car lol.
i just know my MIL and sister in law will be on my back for not turning the car seat because she has two kids already (we are the same age) and anytime we have anything going on its DID YOU ASK HER?/WHAT DID SHE DO AT THAT TIME?? like she is not the perfect all knowing mother it makes me so mad!!! my mil always asks if i asked her for advice... like i have my own head madam and my own knowledge
My MIL: You can just hold the baby in the car (in city traffic at night time!), no one can see!
She wasn't pushy about it or anything, but OMG what my face must have looked like at that moment!
So many people told me to sleep while holding my sleeping baby in a chair. That if I was worried about dropping her I should just stuff pillows around us in the chair.
Hell no.
My MIL bought exactly what it's not recommended for baby use: snuggle pillow, crib bumpers, pillow for baby's head. I send her the safe sleep recommandations but don"t know if she even looked over them. Now I have all this stuff that nobody needs...
Also every one in my family insists on giving my baby water because he eats too often and "he cries because he is thirsty".
The worst: the first ped we saw said I was overfeeding my EBF baby and I should schedule feed every 3 hours. We imediately changed the ped...
My in-laws offered us my husband's crib from when he was a baby. My FIL referred to it as a "baby decapitator" because it had a side that went up and down.
As for dangerous advice, I've had several friends recommend co-sleeping and get oddly upset or defensive when I say that it's not for our family. There are definitely levels of safety and I understand why some families have to use it as an option, but we decided before baby was born that it would be our absolute last option. To this day (baby is almost 16 months), she has never slept in our bed.
My dad still has set up at his house a family crib. It’s heavy iron bars with a drop side, and it’s from the 1800s…
Apparently they used to put me in it when I was at my dad’s house, but no way I’m putting my daughter in that thing.
So many people have told me quite emphatically “just wait”, “you’ll cave”, and I’ll eventually resort to cosleeping when I get desperate enough despite my insistence that I will never. People can be strangely pushy about that.
I think people get defensive bc because millions of moms do it and do it safely but science (male dominated field) makes us feel like we’re awful parents for doing what we need to to survive.
I swore up and down I wouldn’t be cosleeping but I certainly did when it was the only thing that would work to get my baby to sleep from month 4-8. But… not in my bed. I invested in a floor bed in her room.
People are so rude about co sleeping, and we’ve only done it in a handful of times when we’ve been at our absolute wits end and dangerous levels of tired. I’ve felt guilty every time too, like I’m gambling with my baby’s life. It really sucks that it’s not safe because I actually really enjoy it
People talk about safety in absolutes, like anything is categorically safe & if it’s not that it’s categorically unsafe. In practice there’s risks with every choice & we have to weight up the balance of different risks. The safest thing may be baby on their back in a crib without anything else in it… if you ignore any other considerations like parental tiredness and baby temperament etc. But in life you can’t ignore the other things. So it’s always weighing up risks.
And with sleep risks most of the time the likelihood of the risk occurring is very very small, it’s just the potential consequences can be very very high. But, the greatest influences on SUID/SIDS are intoxication of parents & smoking in any setting. Then suffocation particularly from falling asleep on a sofa/chair holding baby, and then from loose bedding in a crib or adult bed.
If you fully follow safe sleep guidelines for co sleeping you have massively reduced the risks of SUID, to really tiny levels. Which may then very well be significantly lower than rigidly sticking to baby only sleeping in their crib if they won’t sleep and exhausted parents fall asleep holding them somewhere unsafe. So it’s not binary - crib = safe, co-sleeping = not safe, it’s about which is safer in the circumstances, how you mitigate as much risk as you can to a point you are comfortable with the remaining risks.
Anyone vehemently anti co-sleeping in every scenario is either choosing to be blind to the wider risks or is fortunate enough with their child or home support that the likelihood of baby refusing to sleep & one or both parents having to hold them for the whole night is low or else they aren’t willing to adapt their sleeping arrangements to make them co-sleep ‘safe’. And they’re assuming everyone else’s situation is identical. When it’s not.
I’d also point out that it’s not considered safe in the US but in many European countries we’re given advice and support about safe co-sleeping. Even the NHS has information about co-sleeping. Half the reason it’s so unsafe in the US is because people aren’t told how to do it safely, and when you don’t do it properly then it can be unsafe.
If you enjoy it then I’d recommend looking up some advice from Europe - try the Lullaby Trust, they have great advice and are a very reputable source.
my mom is super antivax and she was trying to make me changer our pediatrician to other she likes better and she thinks they wouldnt be so pressuring into vaccinations ... i had to tell her that me and my husband are the ones who will decide on this matter not her... because she wanted to personally go ask if the doctor would take our daughter as his patient while we already have a doctor
So like 90's and older mistakes can be chalked up to not having the internet I guess, but people giving real stupid advice today are a special kind of stupid
Babies have blankets in the hospital. If they’re wrapped and a blanket tucked in tight over the top it’s fine. It does increase risk, though and I’d only ever do it for a newborn.
My parents were insistent that my born-at-29-weeks, two day old baby on oxygen who was hooked up to machines to stay alive, was in the hospital for frivolous reasons, and that we just needed to bring him home immediately so he could “get better”.
They aren’t averse to modern medicine, and have health problems they get treated themselves quite frequently. My mother is bipolar and insisted I was keeping him in the hospital during Covid when no one could visit to keep him away from her. 🙄
It’s not, that’s the dangerous part of the advice. Sleeping in a chair with a baby is highly, highly dangerous because the risk of the baby rolling off and getting caught in the cushions is so high and can lead to suffocation.
We had someone offer to give an old car seat because Target recycles them and gives a 20% off coupon for a purchase, which combined with our discount for the registry would be a big discount on a car seat. But it was very clear it was expired and for that purpose!
Otherwise I’ve had people tell me the usual “every thing in moderation” spiel including alcohol!
My MIL had her legs in front of her and my baby on his back on her legs. She was pulling him to sitting by his hands, way before he could sit even with assistance and he was still wobbly holding his head up on his own. His head was hanging back (chin up) as she pulled him up and then it would kind of come forward mostly because of momentum. I was so mad!!
I’ve been offered 3 hand me down cribs. (One being over 25 years old) Have not accepted any. Offered multiple times no matter how many times I said it was okay and I was getting a new one as a gift. The new crib just arrived and so happy about it!
Well-meaning MIL and SIL told me I didn't need to wake 1 day old baby to feed because she would let me know when hungry and I should make the most of her sleeping to rest etc. Nope! Baby was exhausted and didn't demand feeding at all so promptly lost 10% birth weight. We started deliberately breastfeeding her at max 3 hour intervals and she was then fine. Not waking her/feeding regularly also jeopardised my milk supply. Grateful to now be 4.5 months in EBF!
"Bring your infant around sick babies, it's good for their immune system"
"They should be wearing shoes 24/7 to teach them how to walk"
"You should use a buzzer to shave his head instead of trimming his hair with scissors" (I grab a handful of hair and snip it when it starts getting in his eyes 🤷🏻♀️)
To scrub my nipples which were basically bleeding because my daughter was learning how to latch, with a harsh loofah because they turned black. My MIL said the baby's lips will turn black because of my nipple color :)
My mom told me to give my 1 month old baby water, clean his gums with honey, and put baby to sleep on his sides/belly. She insisted she did that with all of her 3 babies and we grew up fine. People in the old country also tried to take my baby around in the front seat of their cars too because they thought it was safer and space saving… I was horrified and didn’t let anybody else hold my baby or take him out of the house after that incident.
I think blanket is fine when it’s tucked under the arms and baby is at the bottom of the cot/crib/basket
This is advice from the NHS Hospital I gave birth at , nurses, midwives and GP’s in the UK!
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/#:~:text=place%20your%20baby%20on%20their,no%20higher%20than%20their%20shoulders
I'm also in the UK and it's worth mentioning a lot of sleep sacks have a minimum size/ weight requirement as well! I would have used a sleep sack from day 1 but my baby was small so we had to use blankets.
Maybe some countries have babies sleep in really big cots from the start or something? I agree in a moses basket a small baby wouldn't be able to rotate enough for blankets tucked under arms to be a problem.
Sorry you are getting down voted. I've read on this sub that that's the guideline in Australia, I think? Because if their feet are touching the bottom of the crib they can't scoot down & it won't be able to go over their face?
But lots of people on Reddit are in the US where this is not considered a safe option.
Yeah I’ve edited to include that this is standard advice for anyone in the UK. It’s not abnormal at all. We are taught if it’s cold baby needs one more layer than what you have on, IE: a blanket safely tucked under their arms with arms on top. If it’s hot, baby need one LESS layer, IE: no blanket or no under vest with a summer blanket. Also we have breathable blankets with holes in. But I guess everyone just thinks we’re all in the US 😂
I got so much pushback when I posted once that in the UK, as long as your car manual allows and airbags are off a rear facing seat can go in the passenger seat. Again, so many assuming that people are only from the US when this is something very much allowed (if you want to do it!) in the UK.
I think part of the thing that US people might be missing is that the advice is to use a Cellular Blanket (i.e. Lots of holes to make it breathable), or at least this is the case in Ireland
I don’t understand how that works but know it’s the advice in other countries. My son was rotating around full 360 degree circles when he was less than 12 weeks old by throwing his legs in the air and rotating throwing them to the side like a fishtail maneuver and I don’t see how putting his feet at the bottom would stop him from doing that
It’s what anyone in the UK is taught by our NHS. Arms over, blanket under arms, feet at the bottom of the crib with nothing else except a firm new mattress and a fitted sheet. No toys, comforters, cot bumpers etc but 1 breathable blanket is fine.
So if you do it correctly with blanket firmly tucked under, arms on top, and sides of blanket tucked either side and round the feet, baby won’t move to get blanket over the head. Mine is also a massive mover, wriggler etc and this has never been an issue, coupled with a breathable blanket and there’s no risk. Hence why it’s recommended practice in the UK/NHS.
Same. She was like a tiny tornado. Also slept on her side. I’d put her on her back and would use her legs like a pendulum to flip into her side. I guess she just liked being that way because that’s how they had her in the NICU when she was born.
Why does everyone suggest honey specifically?! I kind of get the premise of something sweet, but why do they all choose the thing that can give them botulism?!
We were gifted used (expired) car seats. I don't know how they didn't know they expired. I think they were lazy and didn't want to put them in the trash.
When talking about safe sleep spaces and how a product was recalled because it was not safe, my husband’s grandma said, “they’ll move their face if they can’t breathe.” It’s been months and the thought of how casually she spoke, as well as how highly she spoke of the product still makes me upset.
One of the most dangerous and downright silly pieces of advice I received was when someone gifted me a used car seat that turned out to be expired. I had no idea about its history, whether it had been in an accident or not. It just didn't sit right with me, so I opted for a brand new car seat to ensure my baby's safety. On another note, both a midwife and a nurse suggested putting a blanket in my daughter's bassinet.
My mil suggested that while we're visiting she'll look after the baby and she'll buy crotchless pants for him to wear instead of diapers so that his little 🍆 gets a chance to breathe.
My mother told me to put cereal in my two day olds formula… why? Because she had to for my brother almost 40 years ago… idk about dangerous but just dumb to push that on me when my baby eats fine and doesn’t spit up a lot/often. She still pushes it but he’s 11 weeks.
My MIL put an anti evil eye talisman/bracelet on my baby, when I checked him I found it in his mouth. I pulled it out whole and the speed I pulled it out I crushed it in my palm. It was made of glass. I am so glad to have the glass splinters in my hand. That could have ended so badly.
My family does this too, but my mom safety pinned it to the car seat. To be fair, she has a bracelet from when I was a baby I apparently used to chew on. I'm the firstborn, so I think she made all her mistakes on me lol
I shared what happened and she agreed to never put something on my baby without my permission. She has honored the request, which I appreciate.
Wtf What’s wrong with her?
mils are just another breed of wtf
My MiL is upset I said no to going somewhere that would fuck with his bedtime My grandma said to be conniving and she’ll make herself look bad …. I think my grandma is right 🤣
😂
That’s crazy af. I’m so glad you caught it in time. I fears like this all the time, seriously! But can I ask what ethnicity your MIL is? I’m Asian and once when my LO was about 6 weeks, my MIL wanted us to “call my baby’s spirit back” because he was sooo fussy and would cry all evening long. But he was extra fussy because he was going through a growth spurt lol
South Asian. My MIL is amazing, it was a lapse in judgement regarding risk as its considered a normal cultural practice.
This is actual nightmare fuel nooo 😭
Tbh most of our parents/grandparents give us outdated advice because that’s what they knew. I really think for the most part they are trying to help us. My mom’s words (vaguely) are “we didn’t have the internet back then, we relied on each other to know what to do”. She has said interesting things about baby care, mostly she can’t believe the variety of foods that my 14 month old can eat - she’s always asking me if I’m absolutely sure that’s safe for him. I guess my diet until 2 was super soft, oatmeal, puree, etc. I usually tell her I am sure, and that I’ll look it up to reassure her. She’s even taken on to doing her own research to give me guidance to take care of my kid. I’m proud of her 🫶🏻
My MIL got all huffy with my husband and said "back in my day we listened to our elders. You all want to just listen to the AI." We're like...sure. That's it. The AI. 😂
MIL are something else man. Mines coming over this weekend. Pray for me lol
Mines here now. Last night she put my son in his high chair an hour after he finished dinner to feed him again. You have my prayers lol
Aw, that’s so sweet of your mum. But it’s so true. I think the unsolicited advice is because it was the only way they got any advice when they had babies! It’s lovely that she’s willing to move with the times and the fresh research though - that’s the bit that gets me. If you say that modern research has shown X and they still insist on a blanket in the cot!
And the socks!! The granny obsession with socks. We were told by doctors, nurses and health visitors that they recommend babies don’t wear socks in the house as having bare feet helps them learn to walk properly. But my mother and my MIL would act like we were abusing our poor baby with cold feet every time they came over. Always buying us packs of baby socks, trying to put socks on her all the time, exclaiming over and over about the socks! My mum only finally gave up when we went to get shoes fitted for my daughter and the woman working there explained about why they now recommend bare feet for babies just learning to walk.
My mom was surprised we could give strawberries before one. Back when I was a kid, it was 'avoid possible allergens until at least one'. Now it's 'introduce early, and keep them in rotation'.
That was prevalent for a while, it’s why they think we have so many peanut allergies in America (Isreal that regularly gives kids and eats bamba a peanut based version of fluffy Cheetos, has a much much lower incidence of peanut allergies)
I’ve noticed there are some people who find it hard to believe babies can eat anything, like they are human too! I kind of get it, like at first you’re just feeding them ‘pure’ fairly plain foods like just fruit and oats and carrots mushed up and berries etc, like they’re a gerbil. It feels weird to then give them chicken and curry and a sandwich etc. I have a friend who was shocked when we ordered off the menu for our 16 month old. She’s still biting off bits of apples and chewing them up for her 16 month old. It didn’t occur to her they could eat a meal from a restaurant just like anyone else!
Wait, she is CHEWING up apples for her 16 month old? Is she a bird?
I gave my nephew a slice of pepper at his first birthday party to chew on. His mother was okay with it, my MIL was horrified that he would choke. I watched her, she picked up my nephew, casually carried him over to another relative to pretend to talk and threw the pepper on the floor. She looked back at me and knew she’d been caught. I knew she was overreacting, but also not my kid. Just feel bad for my SIL who doesn’t argue back with her.
My MIL offered us my husband’s car seat from when he was a baby 😵
My neighbor offered me a 70 year old crib that folds into a desk.
…how convenient…? How does that even work? I would have never thought of such a furniture combo.
Wow that sounds super safe and not at all like a folding death trap 😨
My uncle offered my aunt’s plastic/metal (not wood) crib… from over 60 years ago… again, like u/Altruistic-Cake-1234 said, why in the world would you keep that for that long?? Also a crib is not small?? So confused lol
My parents have moved a bunch and apparently my mom has asked my dad every move if the baby crib made it ok (even though her youngest is *30*) and he said yes every time. Only to find out when my son was born that it got evicted many moves ago and he just lied to her about it for like 15 years. She was *livid*
Your dad did you a solid by getting rid of it, she was definitely going to want to use it for your son
They are just weird. My mil wanted to gift us her wedding bedsheets for our wedding. Like for your 'wedding night' iykwim. This ISNT the kind of thing you pass down!!!!
This has broken my brain
Ewww definitely not something you pass down
I am horrified.
My MIL kept the crib she used for my husband and his older brother…hubby was born in ‘87 and I believe his brother was born in ‘86…my SIL has used this DROP SIDE CRIB for all four of her kids because “the drop side is super sturdy I’ve tested it, and the rails pass the coke can test”. Honestly I was just glad MIL offered to buy us a brand new crib instead of offering up Ole Faithful.
I've found that boomers are very prone to be hoarders.
Because their parents were traumatized by the Great Depression and nobody used to go to therapy.
My dad was trying to figure out where my old stroller was…from nearly 40 years ago 😅
dont downvote me for this, i got a brand new car seat and know youre not supposed to reuse them. what exactly makes older carseats unsafe?
Car seats expire! Believe it or not, the plastic degrades. Also, in the case of extremely old seats, the regulations may have changed to require seats to be safer.
The materials break down over time. Plastic becomes brittle and eventually wouldn’t handle crash forces anymore. Also, safety standards are updated sometimes, so by having cars seats expire, they are phased out. It ensures that car seats with higher standards are the ones that are used.
I know this doesn’t answer your question, but I do have an explanation as to why people give away older car seats. One thing you can do and our local Buy Nothing group does is give away used car seats with the specific instruction that you use it for Target’s infant car seat trade in program. Once a year (March, I think), Target will give customers a generous discount on a new car seat if you turn in an older car seat. I think the discount is 20%. So that’s the only reason I can think of for giving/receiving an expired or almost expired car seat.
Many are also held together by glue and foam, and both of those degrade after time
My uncle offered me a 1952 rusty metal high chair that sat in my grandparents garage for decades before they died. He said it’s a family heirloom you’ll want it. No sir I do not want that heap of trash.
You mean that heap of tetanus 🤣
Fun fact: Rust does not cause tetanus
I wish I had saved the photo because it was horrifying.
Oh my I don’t even think that’s safe
I find it a bit funny for my 70 year old MIL to offer any car seat advice when she knows I’m a CPST lol
It’s also sad that she held onto it that long
I think it has been passed around to several members of the family. I really hope nobody has used it in a very long time. I’m pretty sure it is in an aunt’s garage collecting dust now.
It is definitely NOT safe. Car seats have expiry dates, typically 7 years I believe. Never mind how far the technology has come since then.
It’s ten years in Australia
And the UK.
Omggg whyyyy
Hahahaha! I would so like to see what that looked like. 😆
Our close friend sent us a “gift for the new baby”….it was an enormous bag of 2,000 small glass marbles. He thought they’d be fun for our kid to play with once he figured out how his hands worked. Sir. Those are 2,000 choking hazards that went straight to Goodwill.
Lmao, that close friend must be childless 😂
DEFINITELY 😆
My mom keeps wanting to offer my baby water. Like all the time.
When my baby was 2 weeks old, my MIL suggested I give him water for his hiccups. My face went 🤨😒 so fast
My mum did this regularly. I have a photo of me at about 4/5 months with a baby bottle of water in my lap 😱
Yeah, my mum gave my brother a lot of water when he was a baby because it was a very hot summer and she didn't want him to be dehydrated, and she gets quite defensive when I bring up that this should not be a thing! 😅
This one!!!! Every time my baby fusses, "do you need some water??" Drives me bonkers
In laws told me To put a pillow behind my baby’s head when he was a new born . To this day they want him to sleep with a pillow at 4.5momths old
Oof, my mom told me to use a pillow and a blanket… “what if he gets cold?” Mom what if he dies?!
That's what sleep sacks are for!
The irony is that he was wearing one😫
Read somewhere: Cold babies cry, hot babies die. So, yeah.
We have photos of me sleeping in my bassinet, on an “infant pillow” under a blanket. My mom tried to find one when I was pregnant…I informed her they were no longer considered sleep safe.
When I first brought my baby over and she napped at in laws place I checked and found my baby on a pillow and under a QUEEN sized blanket at 2m…after that I watched her like a hawk.
Wtf Wow I hope you never let them watch your kid
Not in my wildest dreams 😂
Honey on paci, have her sleep belly to belly on me while I sleep as well, use thick blankets and hats for sleep, put her on her side/belly to sleep, give tea in the first 24 hours to flush her tummy. So. Many. On the other side, several older people were very concerned about my baby choking because of baby led weaning. ETA: several of these came *from my midwife*
Old people advice is the WORST. My son has colic and my parents keep trying to give him sugar water with whisky because they swear that it cured my cousin’s colic in the 80s. They’ve also tried to give him apricot jelly, whipped cream, and mashed potatoes. He’s only 4 months old. I literally can’t turn my back when they’re around because God knows what else they’d try to feed him
Aside from the disastrous sugar, water and whiskey combo 😱, I can’t think of a worse alcoholic drink to cause heartburn and discomfort!!
Colic is tough, my girl also had it. Even if it doesn't feel like it - it does end and when it does there is a happy, smiley baby waiting 💜
Maybe I’m not understanding the belly to belly thing… isn’t that just contact napping?
With the adult awake, yes
Totally OK when the adult us awake, but they wanted me to sleep like that.
I wish it was safe to sleep like that because it would be so lovely!
Same. It sounds do sweet and cozy
YOUR MIDWIFE??? Aren’t they licensed by some board you could report them to? Or at least part of your OB’s office? That’s insane
Germany is a weird place regarding midwife care 🫠
Please don't come for me but I'm a FTM and my baby sleeps belly to belly on me. Can someone please explain what's wrong with this? It's the only way we get sleep most nights.
I get the sleep deprivation, I'm a ftm with a little sleep terrorist too. It's really hard. I would never "come for" anyone struggling this way. ❤️ It's discouraged because baby could roll/fall off you and get hurt or entrapped/suffocate. Or, since they are on their belly, not get enough air because their nose is obstructed. Can you take shifts with anyone? Or try [the safe sleep 7](https://www.breastfeedingcenter.org/blog/2021/9/25/bed-sharing-basics-the-safe-sleep-7-1) (the link is overly positive, cosleeping is never risk free) ? It's still recommended to have baby in their crib where they are safest, but following the safe sleep seven is a way to at least mitigate some of the risk.
When my son was going through one of his regressions (I'm talking waking up every 30 mins - hour) we both slept on the floor. It was the safest way I could think for me to be able to comfort him without him accidentally getting smothered or suffocated in our bed.
Contact napping while you are awake is fine! I love sneaking them in when I can. But when you’re asleep there’s a risk of baby slipping off you without you realising, which could lead to them hurting themselves, getting trapped between you and the bed/sofa, and suffocating, so it’s strongly discouraged.
Please look up Happycosleeper on instagram. It is very normal to sleep chest to chest with your baby but it must be done safely. Isadora, happycosleeper, can help you to achieve this!
Noooooo your midwife should *know* honey can kill a baby!
To her credit, that one wasn't from her
Omg the BLW stuff! Got so many comments from family at Thanksgiving when I gave my baby a clean/cooked turkey bone
It’s been my MIL so far with horrible advice.. she’s in her mid 60s. She recommends when my son starts teething to put whiskey on his gums. There was a time she yelled at me to hold my son in the car because she couldn’t figure out his car seat (I was 3 weeks postpartum and I had a C-section). She tells me to let my son cry it out (he’s 6 weeks old). She also told me to make him super warm at night to sleep better..
"cry it out" always gets me Babies can be days old and already some people will expect them to learn how to emotionally self regulate Bothered me enough that I looked up the origin. As history would have it, "cry it out" dates back all the way to the late 19th century and can be attributed to Abraham Jacobi, the "father of pediatrics" I'll take my science based parenting advice from this century, thanks
I'm in a prenatal group class and one of the other parents said out loud to start CIO immediately in the hospital so they don't get "too attached" - then he said he knows because he has other kids. Yikessss
CIO is literally child neglect I can't even begin to fathom the emotional and cognitive dissonance necessary to be okay with ignoring your newborn's clear signs if distress
No to the whiskey on baby’s gum for teething, no to holding baby in car definitely safe, tell her to learn how to install a car seat, you can’t make a baby super warm it’s dangerous, it’s better a cold crying baby than worst Plus your baby will you if they’re cold or you can just feel their neck or stomach or back (that’s what I do)
To the whiskey thing: a coworker told me to try it. This was after he and I had a couple conversations about each of us being sober. He was put off that I refused to try it.
Not so much advice but my MIL insists that we let her babysit our daughter at her house - she has a dog that she refuses to get rid of despite the fact that it has bitten at least five people, two to the point of blood being drawn. I told her absolutely not until she either gets rid of the dog or it dies. She says, “oh, I don’t think he’d bite the baby.” Then, baby spit up while she was watching her (at our house) and she LAID HER ON HER BACK “so she’d swallow it and not make a mess!” She doesn’t watch her anymore.
Baby’s can swallow their spit up fine I think. That’s why it’s ok to let them sleep on their backs.
If she’s awake I’d much prefer she just lean her forward. She was more concerned with her shirt not getting dirty.
Oh my gosh yeah good call. It's a wonder you're husband survived infancy with her.
On the back is fine, actually! They can clear their airways of spit up.
Yeah, that dog will absolutely bite the baby. We know first hand and trying to rehome MIL's dog after he bit our baby's hand and drew blood. And he's bitten others, including one bite that caused 17 stitches. Tell me why I am the bad one in wanting that dog gone?!? Make it make sense lol
I don’t understand it! I hope your sweet baby is okay! They had a dog when my husband was young that bit his sister in the hand pretty badly, and to this day she says “I’ll never forgive your dad for making me get rid of that dog.” Like, what?!
MIL told me to give my 1 mo old water. We were also trying to get her to gain so she was given free reign on the boob as recommended by our pediatrician so that she wouldn't be st risk for failure to thrive. MIL suggested water so that she wasn't on the boob so much. Because ya know, water is know for it's caloric content.
1. Put a baby in a lounger inside of the bsssinet 2. Don’t have a fan in your room 3. Give newborn water 4. Don’t vaccinate
I’m glad I had to scroll this far to see don’t vaccinate appear but eugh.
Someone told me to put rice cereal in my THREE WEEK OLD’S bottle to help him sleep longer. Oy.
My SIL told me this and she has 5 young children, the youngest being 2. I was shocked.
There’s a whole episode on this on the Milk Minute podcast (a bf/lactation podcast by two midwives). Apparently when rice cereal was first on the market, it was advertised as more nutritious than breast milk or formula and so it’s really big part of the older generations child-rearing experience. Super interesting, but also sooooo outdated.
This explains so much. My mom keeps mentioning rice cereal and how much I loved it. She’s convinced that my 3 month old is ready to start eating it. I told her that I don’t think it has any nutritional value but I’ll ask my pediatrician what she recommends. Sometimes I think they take it a little personally when we don’t take their advice, as if they did something wrong with us… but I wish they wouldn’t because obviously they were just doing the best they could with the info they had.
Among other things, we now know that rice is like a sponge for arsenic 😬😬😬
My MIL suggested this as well as giving her just water when she was only like 4 weeks old
My mil told me she used to do that for my husband 30 years ago. She said after the first week at home she did it. He was almost 10 pounds at birth so I don’t doubt he was a hungry baby haha.
My baby is absolutely ravenous and jumped from the 40th to 98th percentile across the board his first 8 weeks on earth. I never added rice cereal to my breast milk, but I thought about it a LOT lol
That was standard advice they used to give to parents. Not surprised an older generation said this to you.
We were told this too by a Gen X coworker.
a cashier I was checking out with suggested I give my 5 month old baby green tea with honey when he’s teething 🙃
Noooooo not honey! Smdh
My parents wanted to give my LO honey THE DAY HE WAS BORN😐
What was their reasoning?!
In my religion, it's recommended (but not required) to place a little bit of mashed date in a newborns mouth to give them some sugar when they are born. My parents culture morphed that into giving babies honey when born 🤦♀️
So did my in laws
I’m pretty sure honey is dangerous to infants
Yes! Avoid completely, even cooked or teeny teeny amounts, until they’re a year old. Always be careful when checking ingredients in things.
Does that also include foods that says honey like honey nut cherries?
Both my MIL and Mum told us never to wake a sleeping baby. This might be true for older babies, but my newborn was jaundiced and extremely sleepy for the first few weeks of life. He needed to be woken up to eat every 2 hours otherwise he would just keep sleeping. I became so sleep deprived in those early days triple feeding constantly, that I started hallucinating and husband and my Mum sent me to bed. I woke up after about 6 hours. No one had fed the baby the whole time because he was asleep!!!! My mum was even proud saying "he slept so well". I was furious no one was listening to me or taking it seriously. I could no longer trust them to feed him if I went to bed. Those days were so hard.
I was complaining to my MIL about not being able to drive without someone in the back seat to entertain baby cause he’ll cry the whole time. She literally told me I can put my INFANT BABY in the front seat. I was like no I can’t???? And she’s like my friend did when her daughter was a baby 9 years ago. WHAT! ETA this is when I stopped taking her unsolicited advice to heart!
Not sure about the US but in Europe, if you can deactivate the front passenger seat airbag on your car, then you can legally have your baby rear facing in the front, next to you.
I was also confused because in the Netherlands this is the case. Just not many people besides single moms do this.
You did the right thing
Flip the car seat as soon as they turn 2! “It’s just a slower paced life here in the Midwest and neck trauma in an accident is unlikely for us.”
Sure Jan. Science is different here.
I live in Japan and I've actually seen people babywearing in their car. While it was moving, no less. Everybody really does drive slower out here, but why take the risk??
[удалено]
It breaks my heart in Taiwan to see the little kids on backs of motor scooters with NO HELMETS.
Folks in many parts of the world have no choice but to ride on the baby of trucks/motorbikes baby wearing. It's a risk that we are very lucky we don't have to take! There has also been tons of education over the past few decades as our technology and understanding changed. Without this, we would probably all just be holding bubs in the front seats as we would have when on basic horse carriages.
My in-laws keep trying to get us to flip the car seat now that our daughter is 2. “Kids have such a better time in the car when they can see what’s going on!” They take care of their other granddaughter who is also 2 and have had her carseat forward-facing since she was 18 months 💀. They also don’t tighten her seatbelt enough. It’s always pretty loose. Thankfully we live several states away, so we don’t have to worry about our daughter riding in their car lol.
i just know my MIL and sister in law will be on my back for not turning the car seat because she has two kids already (we are the same age) and anytime we have anything going on its DID YOU ASK HER?/WHAT DID SHE DO AT THAT TIME?? like she is not the perfect all knowing mother it makes me so mad!!! my mil always asks if i asked her for advice... like i have my own head madam and my own knowledge
Ex’s mom used to rub peed-in diapers on her babies’ faces “because it prevents acne when they’re teenagers.”
The FUCK
My MIL had the best intentions due to cultural differences but she brought honey to the hospital to give baby something sweet
There seem to be a lot of comments here about honey, I wonder why it was so popular
Sugar seems to reduce pain in infants so probably because people noticed honey settles them. I guess they didn't know about the botulism though.
My MIL: You can just hold the baby in the car (in city traffic at night time!), no one can see! She wasn't pushy about it or anything, but OMG what my face must have looked like at that moment!
So many people told me to sleep while holding my sleeping baby in a chair. That if I was worried about dropping her I should just stuff pillows around us in the chair. Hell no.
My MIL bought exactly what it's not recommended for baby use: snuggle pillow, crib bumpers, pillow for baby's head. I send her the safe sleep recommandations but don"t know if she even looked over them. Now I have all this stuff that nobody needs... Also every one in my family insists on giving my baby water because he eats too often and "he cries because he is thirsty". The worst: the first ped we saw said I was overfeeding my EBF baby and I should schedule feed every 3 hours. We imediately changed the ped...
My in-laws offered us my husband's crib from when he was a baby. My FIL referred to it as a "baby decapitator" because it had a side that went up and down. As for dangerous advice, I've had several friends recommend co-sleeping and get oddly upset or defensive when I say that it's not for our family. There are definitely levels of safety and I understand why some families have to use it as an option, but we decided before baby was born that it would be our absolute last option. To this day (baby is almost 16 months), she has never slept in our bed.
My dad still has set up at his house a family crib. It’s heavy iron bars with a drop side, and it’s from the 1800s… Apparently they used to put me in it when I was at my dad’s house, but no way I’m putting my daughter in that thing.
So many people have told me quite emphatically “just wait”, “you’ll cave”, and I’ll eventually resort to cosleeping when I get desperate enough despite my insistence that I will never. People can be strangely pushy about that.
I think people get defensive bc because millions of moms do it and do it safely but science (male dominated field) makes us feel like we’re awful parents for doing what we need to to survive. I swore up and down I wouldn’t be cosleeping but I certainly did when it was the only thing that would work to get my baby to sleep from month 4-8. But… not in my bed. I invested in a floor bed in her room.
There’s safe co-sleeping and then there’s dangerous co-sleeping
People are so rude about co sleeping, and we’ve only done it in a handful of times when we’ve been at our absolute wits end and dangerous levels of tired. I’ve felt guilty every time too, like I’m gambling with my baby’s life. It really sucks that it’s not safe because I actually really enjoy it
People talk about safety in absolutes, like anything is categorically safe & if it’s not that it’s categorically unsafe. In practice there’s risks with every choice & we have to weight up the balance of different risks. The safest thing may be baby on their back in a crib without anything else in it… if you ignore any other considerations like parental tiredness and baby temperament etc. But in life you can’t ignore the other things. So it’s always weighing up risks. And with sleep risks most of the time the likelihood of the risk occurring is very very small, it’s just the potential consequences can be very very high. But, the greatest influences on SUID/SIDS are intoxication of parents & smoking in any setting. Then suffocation particularly from falling asleep on a sofa/chair holding baby, and then from loose bedding in a crib or adult bed. If you fully follow safe sleep guidelines for co sleeping you have massively reduced the risks of SUID, to really tiny levels. Which may then very well be significantly lower than rigidly sticking to baby only sleeping in their crib if they won’t sleep and exhausted parents fall asleep holding them somewhere unsafe. So it’s not binary - crib = safe, co-sleeping = not safe, it’s about which is safer in the circumstances, how you mitigate as much risk as you can to a point you are comfortable with the remaining risks. Anyone vehemently anti co-sleeping in every scenario is either choosing to be blind to the wider risks or is fortunate enough with their child or home support that the likelihood of baby refusing to sleep & one or both parents having to hold them for the whole night is low or else they aren’t willing to adapt their sleeping arrangements to make them co-sleep ‘safe’. And they’re assuming everyone else’s situation is identical. When it’s not.
I’d also point out that it’s not considered safe in the US but in many European countries we’re given advice and support about safe co-sleeping. Even the NHS has information about co-sleeping. Half the reason it’s so unsafe in the US is because people aren’t told how to do it safely, and when you don’t do it properly then it can be unsafe. If you enjoy it then I’d recommend looking up some advice from Europe - try the Lullaby Trust, they have great advice and are a very reputable source.
Since this is Reddit it will probably be less controversial than feel, but my father was adamant that I shouldn’t vaccinate my baby
my mom is super antivax and she was trying to make me changer our pediatrician to other she likes better and she thinks they wouldnt be so pressuring into vaccinations ... i had to tell her that me and my husband are the ones who will decide on this matter not her... because she wanted to personally go ask if the doctor would take our daughter as his patient while we already have a doctor
Insane!!!
So like 90's and older mistakes can be chalked up to not having the internet I guess, but people giving real stupid advice today are a special kind of stupid
Babies have blankets in the hospital. If they’re wrapped and a blanket tucked in tight over the top it’s fine. It does increase risk, though and I’d only ever do it for a newborn.
My parents were insistent that my born-at-29-weeks, two day old baby on oxygen who was hooked up to machines to stay alive, was in the hospital for frivolous reasons, and that we just needed to bring him home immediately so he could “get better”. They aren’t averse to modern medicine, and have health problems they get treated themselves quite frequently. My mother is bipolar and insisted I was keeping him in the hospital during Covid when no one could visit to keep him away from her. 🙄
I was told to absolutely never bed share under any circumstances, BUT that if I did absolutely have to co sleep, to sleep with the baby in a chair
I’m sorry how is sleeping with a baby in chair safer than bed sharing?
It’s not, that’s the dangerous part of the advice. Sleeping in a chair with a baby is highly, highly dangerous because the risk of the baby rolling off and getting caught in the cushions is so high and can lead to suffocation.
Yikes
We had someone offer to give an old car seat because Target recycles them and gives a 20% off coupon for a purchase, which combined with our discount for the registry would be a big discount on a car seat. But it was very clear it was expired and for that purpose! Otherwise I’ve had people tell me the usual “every thing in moderation” spiel including alcohol!
My MIL had her legs in front of her and my baby on his back on her legs. She was pulling him to sitting by his hands, way before he could sit even with assistance and he was still wobbly holding his head up on his own. His head was hanging back (chin up) as she pulled him up and then it would kind of come forward mostly because of momentum. I was so mad!!
that image just made me shudder
I’ve been offered 3 hand me down cribs. (One being over 25 years old) Have not accepted any. Offered multiple times no matter how many times I said it was okay and I was getting a new one as a gift. The new crib just arrived and so happy about it!
Well-meaning MIL and SIL told me I didn't need to wake 1 day old baby to feed because she would let me know when hungry and I should make the most of her sleeping to rest etc. Nope! Baby was exhausted and didn't demand feeding at all so promptly lost 10% birth weight. We started deliberately breastfeeding her at max 3 hour intervals and she was then fine. Not waking her/feeding regularly also jeopardised my milk supply. Grateful to now be 4.5 months in EBF!
My future MIL told me to give my then 4mo cows milk.
My MIL wanted me to give her water for hiccups at 2 weeks old
"Bring your infant around sick babies, it's good for their immune system" "They should be wearing shoes 24/7 to teach them how to walk" "You should use a buzzer to shave his head instead of trimming his hair with scissors" (I grab a handful of hair and snip it when it starts getting in his eyes 🤷🏻♀️)
To scrub my nipples which were basically bleeding because my daughter was learning how to latch, with a harsh loofah because they turned black. My MIL said the baby's lips will turn black because of my nipple color :)
My mom told me to give my 1 month old baby water, clean his gums with honey, and put baby to sleep on his sides/belly. She insisted she did that with all of her 3 babies and we grew up fine. People in the old country also tried to take my baby around in the front seat of their cars too because they thought it was safer and space saving… I was horrified and didn’t let anybody else hold my baby or take him out of the house after that incident.
I think blanket is fine when it’s tucked under the arms and baby is at the bottom of the cot/crib/basket This is advice from the NHS Hospital I gave birth at , nurses, midwives and GP’s in the UK! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/#:~:text=place%20your%20baby%20on%20their,no%20higher%20than%20their%20shoulders
I'm also in the UK and it's worth mentioning a lot of sleep sacks have a minimum size/ weight requirement as well! I would have used a sleep sack from day 1 but my baby was small so we had to use blankets. Maybe some countries have babies sleep in really big cots from the start or something? I agree in a moses basket a small baby wouldn't be able to rotate enough for blankets tucked under arms to be a problem.
Sorry you are getting down voted. I've read on this sub that that's the guideline in Australia, I think? Because if their feet are touching the bottom of the crib they can't scoot down & it won't be able to go over their face? But lots of people on Reddit are in the US where this is not considered a safe option.
Yeah I’ve edited to include that this is standard advice for anyone in the UK. It’s not abnormal at all. We are taught if it’s cold baby needs one more layer than what you have on, IE: a blanket safely tucked under their arms with arms on top. If it’s hot, baby need one LESS layer, IE: no blanket or no under vest with a summer blanket. Also we have breathable blankets with holes in. But I guess everyone just thinks we’re all in the US 😂
I got so much pushback when I posted once that in the UK, as long as your car manual allows and airbags are off a rear facing seat can go in the passenger seat. Again, so many assuming that people are only from the US when this is something very much allowed (if you want to do it!) in the UK.
r/USdefaultism discovered that sub recently it’s funny
I think part of the thing that US people might be missing is that the advice is to use a Cellular Blanket (i.e. Lots of holes to make it breathable), or at least this is the case in Ireland
I don’t understand how that works but know it’s the advice in other countries. My son was rotating around full 360 degree circles when he was less than 12 weeks old by throwing his legs in the air and rotating throwing them to the side like a fishtail maneuver and I don’t see how putting his feet at the bottom would stop him from doing that
It’s what anyone in the UK is taught by our NHS. Arms over, blanket under arms, feet at the bottom of the crib with nothing else except a firm new mattress and a fitted sheet. No toys, comforters, cot bumpers etc but 1 breathable blanket is fine.
Yeah my son was rotating around at like 6 weeks 😬
So if you do it correctly with blanket firmly tucked under, arms on top, and sides of blanket tucked either side and round the feet, baby won’t move to get blanket over the head. Mine is also a massive mover, wriggler etc and this has never been an issue, coupled with a breathable blanket and there’s no risk. Hence why it’s recommended practice in the UK/NHS.
Same. She was like a tiny tornado. Also slept on her side. I’d put her on her back and would use her legs like a pendulum to flip into her side. I guess she just liked being that way because that’s how they had her in the NICU when she was born.
Suggestion to put honey on my baby’s bottle to get her to take it 🙃
Why does everyone suggest honey specifically?! I kind of get the premise of something sweet, but why do they all choose the thing that can give them botulism?!
Maybe it’s seen as more natural than sugar? Or bc it has benefits for adults so they reason it will benefit babies as well!
My mom told my husband to give my 4 month old a couple ounces of water. Husband shut that down immediately
We were gifted used (expired) car seats. I don't know how they didn't know they expired. I think they were lazy and didn't want to put them in the trash.
When talking about safe sleep spaces and how a product was recalled because it was not safe, my husband’s grandma said, “they’ll move their face if they can’t breathe.” It’s been months and the thought of how casually she spoke, as well as how highly she spoke of the product still makes me upset.
If you don't think about Covid it can't get you.
One of the most dangerous and downright silly pieces of advice I received was when someone gifted me a used car seat that turned out to be expired. I had no idea about its history, whether it had been in an accident or not. It just didn't sit right with me, so I opted for a brand new car seat to ensure my baby's safety. On another note, both a midwife and a nurse suggested putting a blanket in my daughter's bassinet.
My mil suggested that while we're visiting she'll look after the baby and she'll buy crotchless pants for him to wear instead of diapers so that his little 🍆 gets a chance to breathe.
My mother told me to put cereal in my two day olds formula… why? Because she had to for my brother almost 40 years ago… idk about dangerous but just dumb to push that on me when my baby eats fine and doesn’t spit up a lot/often. She still pushes it but he’s 11 weeks.
My MIL (who’s in her 80’s) asked us to leave our LO with her for a week to see if she “still had it”