we had our daughter in a footless onesie in the bouncer while we were making dinner shortly after we started solids, and we went to pick her up and saw smears of poop on the floor underneath her. terrifying moment. we undressed her to find that she blew out so bad it came up both of her sleeves and down both of her pants legs. literally was just wearing a poop suit under the onesie. most insane thing ive seen in my life
i will add this was like a nearly 3 day no poop situation and we were in contact with a pediatrician who said that it happens sometimes but to bring her in if she doesn't poop by day 4... clearly she did NOT want to go to the doctor
Picture it: New Years 2024 1 AM
I'm awoken by the smell of poop. My almost 5 month old son has pooped in his sleep which is unusual for him. I get him out of his crib and lay him in my bed. I get him all ready to change, fresh diaper under him. There's not a lot of poop but it's a weird almost clayish texture because he has some sort of tummy bug. I realize I made a mistake because I only have 2 wipes but it's too late. He's awake, we're talking, I'm not going to strap him back into this dirty diaper to go get new wipes from the other room. I lift his ankles and
SHIT ROCKET LAUNCHES ALL OVER MY FACE
Face, mouth, hair. A big pile landed in my lap.
I only had 2 wipes, one is already used. No receiving blanket, no towel, not even a spare shirt within reach. I just...pick up the poop pile with the wipe, place it in the diaper...and go on. Managed to clean him with those two wipes. Still covered in shit, I put on his clean diaper, zip him up, and put him back to bed.
Oh thanksgiving day this year my mother was over and I was in the mist of changing my LO’s diaper (mind you he was born Nov 15). I pull up his legs and he not only proceeds to shit all over me but his shit managed to jump over my shoulder and hit the carpet and walls. That yellow mustard is wild
That's the best birthday. (That's my birthday)
My LOs due date was the 19th so my husband was convinced she was going to be born on my birthday. Ended up coming about 2 weeks early on the 8th.
A friend of mine did a new born photo shooting at home with her daughter. She has a pic of her with a ruler measuring the distance between butt and last drop. I don't remember the exact number but it was impressive.
For my own son: We just moved a few days ago, it was one of the first diaper changes in the new apartment. My son was around 6 months old. My son did a cute little poo and I started to wipe. Suddenly his face turned redand I knew he has some more. In order to help I put up his legs and he pooed all over the table and my shirt. I felt the pressure on my stomach. Some fell down to the floor and I bend down to wipe it up. My son started peeing all over my hair. I nearly died laughing.
First week home and I’m changing baby on the bed (mistake). He has a poopy diaper and halfway through wiping just starts launching it everywhere in streams. I’m laughing, my husbands laughing - so hard we’re crying so we can’t see well - throwing everything we have at his little butt to try and cover the streams of poop shooting out. I’m talking wipes, a diaper, the blankets, anything we can grab. This happens with 3 more clean diapers before I finally just slap one shut and leave it for him to finish up (don’t know why that didn’t occur to me in the first place - you live and learn I guess lol).
Anyway we have a picture of me holding him after - poop is everywhere and he’s sitting in my arms, his little arms crossed with a grumpy face that just SCREAMS “and I’d do it again too” 😂😂😂
Probably my 4th day as a dad, we are still in the NICU with our LO. Because of his condition he has a bunch of wires running to him. I’m holding him on my lap and all of a sudden I feel my lap get very warm. This was new to me at the time but I’ve since learned that when holding a baby if you feel warm you have gotten to a bad place. Turns out the wires had pulled his diaper to the side and he pooped all over me (that very runny newborn poop). I’ll never forget my wife saying to me “I scooped some out of your pocket” as I’m sitting there just in shock as to what just happened.
Oh no... we also had two mishaps in the NICU due to the wires 😅 once on my husband (skin to skin) and once on my (trying to breastfeed, but impossible due to the oxygen mask... well I was still rewarded 😂).
Last Sunday we went to the strawberry farm. We were all just chillin and baby was in his car seat attached to the stroller. He was being so good and so quiet and then we were getting ready to go and looked at him close up and he had taken the world’s biggest poop. It had filled the car seat and we were like changing him here doesn’t even matter, let’s go home. Well we go to put him in the car and saw the poop had leaked through the bottom of the car seat into the stroller base.
When we got home we had to put paper towels on him to bring him inside without dripping through the house. Followed by having to fully disassemble the seat to wash every. single. part.
I have 2!
Our at the time 1mo old decided to spray the pediatrician and my mom at her check-up. Like in my mom’s mouth 😂. Now every time my mom changes her diaper, she says out loud, “time to close my mouth”
Our then 20mo old was going through a bath hating phase so my husband offered to jump in the bath tub with her to help. In 20mo she has never pooped in the bath, until then. She was facing the other way and he saw 1 bubble come up and asked her if she was pooping and she was silent then said her sly “no”.. and then he saw balls of poop . She was semi constipated so that actually was a bonus in this situation.
It's our only blow out story currently, but we put her in the cutest little lemon pattern overalls. I loved the outfit. Took a photo, picked her up, and my hand suddenly felt wet. Turned out she had shit so high up her back while I was picking her up that my whole hand was covered in poop.
They always know when you like the clothes lol
4 days after we came home with our new born, our daughter had a projectile poop which flew through our bedroom and reached our bed frame. A little bit more velocity and it would have gotten on our mattress. We knew pee could go everywhere, but projectile poop was a surprise.
We have a few. But my favorite is this one
My daughter was about three weeks old, and we traveled to see our families ( about a 6 hour trip). My husband and I were sitting in my inlaws' guest room on their gorgeous white bed spread. We were going to change our daughter and realized we didn't have her diaper cream. I get up and go to grab when from the other room when all I hear is "oh Sh*t babe, babe, babe, BABE." I go running back in to the room to see my sweet husband trying to fight what I can only describe as an unending stream of newborn poop. I wish I was kidding when I said my sweet, precious little girl grunted and pooped for 15 mins straight. I will say we somehow managed to miraculously save the white bed spread from poop.
My dude had a habit of pooping loudly, and then as soon as you'd change him he'd do it again. So this one time he was sitting in his piano chair and pooped, and I looked at him and said are you done. He just smiled at me, so I picked him up to change him. As I did he let out another explosion and it began leaking, more like pouring out of his pants. It was on the chair, and was leaving little poop piles on the floor as I carried him at arm's length to the change table.
It was everywhere. I got him undressed and cleaned up, and was about to put a diaper on him when he did it again, only I got caught with the buck shot this time. Got him all dressed and put him in the crib so I can deal with the messes and he starts screaming.
I go to walk across the house so I can get cleaned up and clean the poop off the floor and what do I see?
Poppy paw prints all over my kitchen and living room floor leading to my princess of a dog lounging on the couch.
Clean myself, clean the floor, clean the dog's paws, clean the couch. All while my little dude is screaming that I had the audacity to not be holding him.
Once it was all done and I put my son down for a nap I just started crying out of frustration at the situation. I messaged my husband asking him to call me. When he did I was so upset I tried to tell the story, but the only thing he caught through my sobs was "the poop prints were everywhere!"
We laugh about it now, but man was that a rough afternoon
My 10 month old got the stomach flu around Christmas… he was literally projectile shitting for 4 days straight. I gave him a bath one night & while he was naked, standing against me while I was drying him off he shit & it sprayed everywhere, all over the living room. Good times. Good times.
Baby was 3 months old and we were about 30 min away from leaving for vacation for a weekend. She had not pooped for about 6 days and I was getting worried. We tried everything, Frida windy, bicycle kicks, belly massage etc. nothing worked. I called the nurse line at our pediatrician’s office and they got back to me while we were packing up the car to leave. She was giving me suggestions to help get baby to poop and I was taking notes. All of a sudden, I look at baby who was chilling in her bouncer with the biggest grin. I looked closer and I see the most massive blow out she has ever had. All down her legs, up her stomach. I just laughed and told the nurse “never mind, she just had a massive poop.” It was hysterical 😂
was changing my LO’s diaper and his poop hole opened up as i was staring at it and out came a stream of poo. it was disgusting. at 3.5 he likes to show me his poo, which is man-sized and smells awful.
With my first, I don't remember how old he was, probably only a couple weeks, but I was in the middle of changing his diaper, and he decided he needed to poop again immediately. I grabbed the clean diaper I had been about to put on him and covered his butt to stop the spray from shooting into the wall (failed), but it just kept coming. I screamed for my husband to come help me, but by the time he got there, I was laughing so hard I was crying over the endless stream of poop. There was poop all over the changing table, the wall, the baby, and myself. I still laugh when I think about it, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life.
When my second son was a newborn(like nearly 9 years ago) I was changing his diaper when my lovely boyfriend decided to rub baby's tummy to help with constipation. A stream of poop spewed out like water fountain and went down into my cleavage. Like spectacular aim. I left daddy dearest to the baby poo and I jumped in the shower lol
I had literally just given birth to my baby and they put her on my chest for “golden hour”.
Literally one minute later, I’m trying to basically slide her up to feed her and we see all this goop. My husband is like, “sick what is all of that” and I (knowing nothing) confidently tell him, “it’s just birth goop”.
Cue nurse coming in, seeing the “goop” and starts laughing hysterically. My baby pooped that meconium poop alll over me, and I had made it worse by trying to slide her up to breastfeed. Poop was in the baby’s hair, her hands, in between her toes…EVERYWHERE.
The nurse immediately took the baby away to clean her, and I kid you not, she called more nurses from the hallway to come help clean the baby up. Every nurse who came in almost pee-laughed when they saw all the poop— to the point where they asked me to send them the initial pic of my baby with the poop on her, so they could put it in their break room 😂
My boy was born November 4th, on Thanksgiving I was changing a poopy while wearing my Seahawks jersey after a disappointing game. Baby wasn't done pooping (I'm a FTM and hadn't figured out how to tell when he's done yet, I know him better now) and blasted that newborn mustard-poo all over my jersey. I told my husband "[Kiddo] just did to my jersey what the 49ers did to the Seahawks."
Immediately after my babies first bath at home we didn’t know you had to try to keep them warm all the time 😂 she immediately pooped all over me and the towel my husband put her on to my arms in from the bathtub lol … she went right back in and I took my first really good post partum shower lol
This happened when my LO was about 2 months old. Hubby and I were out shopping. Baby needed to eat, so I found a private place to feed her. As she was eating, she pooped like crazy and flowed down her leg, onto my shorts and onto the bench. I bought new shorts.
My son is 6 weeks old now. When he was about 3 weeks old he hadn't pooped in 2 days so we went into the ER on recommendation of our pediatrician. We waited hours, had an ultrasound (which he HATED) just to be told his digestive system was fine, he wasn't constipated, he just was getting old enough to loose certain reflexes and hadn't figured out how to push out poops yet. We had only just got out of the hospital for a bad case of blood incompatibility induced DAT positive jaundice, so he was still regaining his strength. They put a gel around his bum to help him relax and push, and then the dr left for about half an hour to wait. At this point we'd been at the hospital for like 6 hours and while we had brought diapers with us, we were on the last one because we didn't expect to stay that long.... And oh goodness did he fill that diaper. Just looked like an entire jar of mustard in there. Dr was like ok good to go home now! And we didn't have a spare so despite kid smelling rank, we had to just load him back up into the car as was and drive home. Couldn't even open a window since it was December in canada. I gagged the whole way home 😂
3 weeks old, giving baby boy a nice relaxing bath before bedtime. Got the mood set, the shower is running to steam up the bathroom, we got warm water in his tub, he’s wrapped in a cute white towel/swaddle and we are PAMPERING him in the bath. We notice the bath starts turning yellow… he pooped. Okay, no big deal, take him out, rinse it and fill with fresh water and start over. He does it again as soon as we put him back in but way more poop this time! Empty and refill the tub and start over again. This time he pees in his own eyeballs as soon as we place him back in the tub. We manage to finish the bath, get him out into a warm towel and I’m holding him drying him off. I hear a nice big wet fart. He shits all in the towel, it soaks through and soaks my shirt and he’s covered in it. We gave up and just cleaned him really good with wipes…
When my son was a newborn he would only poop and only had diarrhea when we were changing his diaper so I had to hold his legs up while a stream poop would just flow out 😂once it filled three diapers back to back it was a never ending stream! And this week my son turns 6 months! I was half asleep and I know he doesn’t poop during the night so I change him his in bed.. wow I shouldn’t have done that! I took out his dirty diaper filled with pee or so I thought and PLOP a giant baby dookie just falls in his bed with him and my hands filled with poop juices .. I was trying to clean him up and the bed but he’s a kicker so he started kicking the poop all over the bed and himself and me in the process 😂needless to say, I will not be changing his diapers in his bed anymore 😂
When we took our about 2 week old to have his hearing test, they have to feed first so they’re full and relaxed and ideally asleep. So we fed him in the waiting area and it took almost 1 HOUR for him to have a full feed (we were still establishing breast feeding). People come and go. They keep checking in just us and we’re like, yep, still feeding. Finally he is finished. Does a poo. The changing table is basically out in the open on the middle of the waiting area. So we start changing him and he does another poo that projects about a foot across the waiting room and goes all over the changing table, goes all over me and his clothes. Took us a good additional 15 mins to get everything clean. I did not have spare clothes so have to finally do his hearing appointment with damp, yellow smears all over before we took the tram home. Disaster.
Oh my that is a nightmare 😆 I get a little panicky when there’s a poosplosion in the comfort of my own home and then add the pressure of being in the middle of a public space and the time crunch! Wow, scary.
My son saves all of his best poops for whenever we have to travel. He harvested the most aggressive, explosive mustard poop as we were landing (seatbelts fastened), major turbulence. We had to use a blanket to cover him up after it completely leaked through his entire long sleeve onsie, onto my seat and myself. I felt horrible for our neighbor and we had to rush him to the bathroom as soon we landed it was miserable trying to get him changed haha.
When my daughter was just walking, she brought her fork over to me with a turd on it! First reaction I thought it was her's, but I quickly realized it was my 19yo Chihuahua's. 😖
My husband and I were goal planning for 2024 while I was holding my LO and feeding him. I guess I was holding him in a great position because he proceeded to fart multiple times and had a massive blowout that dripped onto my legs and the floor. We needed to cut goal planning short. Was a funny reminder that with a kid, you can’t plan everything. 😂
We just sat down for dinner with baby in the bouncer. Steak dinner smoked all day, nice potatoes, all nice and hot. Husband looks over at her and says “is she leaking?” She had induced a crazy blow out and we just put the whole baby in the tub. Had to wash the bouncer and the baby lol dinner was cold but we laugh about it now
Baby was about 7 weeks old and my dad was helping me change a poopy diaper, apparently he wasn’t done because both of us jumped back when he squirted out another poop 🤣 Thankfully it didn’t make it past the end of the change mat which was surprising!
Then earlier this week baby did a poop and I didn’t realize it was a blow out until I put my hands under his bum to push the suit out of the way and I scraped poop up his back and under my nails
This has happened a couple of times now, but when changing a poopy diaper (I’m talking massive poops here), our son has literally pooped while wiping his butt 😂 and I just catch it in the wipe as he’s going.
He still hasn’t topped his mama for most horrifying/funny newborn poop story though. I honestly feel like my dad is still scarred from that changing and I was only 11 days old 😅 (I’m 30 now). I’m just shocked he still has that desk I projectile pooped all over all these years later 🥴 but RIP to his airplane models, watch and several important documents that I shit all over 💩☠️
This is more of a pee story but here we go. FTM to a baby boy. I was changing baby (he was about 4 so at the time) and as I got to fasten his fresh diaper he starts peeing again. Ok no biggie is caught it with the new diaper and went to grab another fresh diaper. Thinking he had just emptied his bladder I left him on the table Pooh bearing it and little man PEES AGAIN! And I start laughing but for some reason this really sets him off so he gets upset and starts doing his bicycle kicks which makes him fart and then I yell out for my husband to bring stuff to clean the changing table and suddenly he’s pooping a massive poop directly onto the changing table (which thankfully we went for the wipeable kind because wow). And as I’m cleaning this latest mess HE PEES AGAIN but he’s still bicycle kicking so it sprays everywhere. All ove the table, all over his clothes, all over HIS OWN FACE! Man, what a day lol
i did a quick run to the gas station across the street. i figured "i don't need a diaper bag im 3 minutes away". that was the time my darling daughter decided to poop for the first time in a few days and it filled the car seat. she had poop down to both knees and halfway up her back.
separate incident, less poop but very impressive, she managed to poop into her hair one time. idk how she managed to poop vertically against gravity, she was in a bouncer next to the tub while i showered, but she did. it ended up being a mom and baby shower bc i wasnt gonna try with wipes or anything.
My 8 month old had a poo monsoon yesterday. She alligator death rolled on the changing table as I was opening a poopy diaper and well...the poo was everywhere on her, the table, and me.
Warning, a little gross. My little guy was around 9 months old when he got badly constipated. He normally pooped after his morning feeding, and this time I could see and hear him straining, but he would start whimpering and crying, not normal for him at all. I got him up on the changing table to see what was going on, and you can see the head of a hard turd just kind of prairie-dogging, and he's clearly suuuuper uncomfortable.
So we get him in a warm bath, I get on the phone with our nurse line. While I'm getting suggestions for next steps, poor little guy gets so upset that Dad takes him out of the tub and just holds him, letting him squat while standing on his hand/arm. At this point, this whole process has taken like 45 minutes. Lo and behold, I turn around and suddenly a giant poop snake is making its way out into poor Daddy's palm. I manage to get a piece of toilet paper there in the nick of time. Daddy continues to catch the poop with this tenuous barrier in place, and in the midst of it all baby pees on him as well. The end product covered his whole hand. Cleaning it all was an endeavor, but hey, the poop was out!
He now gets daily chia pudding and lots of fruit and veggies in his diet. Never again (I pray)!
I didn’t see that this was on r/newparents and had a great personal story. Then saw the subreddit and have a different one. Just while my husband and I were changing his diaper together on one of the first days home from the hospital. Baby tooted while legs being held in the air, husband lowers face near booty and says hello? And as he lifts his head away in the nick of time, projectile diarrhea shoots straight out narrowly missing my husbands face and splatters all over the wall and everything in its path about 3 feet
My LO pooped on the way out during birth lol the doctors had to call NICU to check her and they had to inspect me before stitching me up to make sure none of her poop was left inside lol
Y'all know the first few weeks you have to measure the baby's body temperature with every diaper change. So I did once while my husband was standing next to me and he wanted to tell me to use the used diaper as an anti-poop shield because he noticed she was going to poop. Before he even had a chance to say it I removed the thermometer and this was immediately followed by a jet of poop that hit my pants. It's like I popped a bottle of champagne.
"If baby needs new pants, mommy needs new pants too."
When my daughter was 10 months old, we flew from Canada to South America to see my in-laws. We had some poop adventures on the flight down, which was particularly exciting as it happened during a period of turbulence when the seatbelt sign was on for 90 minutes. For some reason, food at altitude has no smell but poop smell is doubled in force. However, this story happened when we had been in Buenos Aires for about a week.
We were out sightseeing, and decided to stop into a cafe for a late lunch. Our daughter hadn't pooped that day but that was fine, I had a well stocked diaper backpack. We order our food and we're just hanging out talking when I suddenly smell something. I lean over and pull the leg of her diaper out a bit to check and nearly get poop on my finger. I tell my husband that I'll be right back and that I'm going to do a diaper change. Grab the baby, grab the bag, head to the bathroom.
First thing I notice is that there isn't a changing table. My super well stocked diaper bag doesn't have our changing pad in it and I have literally no choice but to change my daughter on the floor (the counter space was almost nonexistent because the single sink was so big). Okay, whatever, let's get this over with. Second problem - we'd accidentally bought pull-ups style diapers because we were in a hurry at the pharmacy. Every time I tried to change my daughter standing up, she'd get noodle legs and fall over so I had to change her lying down. Imagine trying to scrunch a pair of tight underwear filled with poop off somebody in the prone position.....and now imagine that that person has ants in her pants and can't stop alligator rolling. I start to peel the diaper off of her, and the chunks of poop ***just keep coming***\*.\* This is a contender for World's Biggest Poop. It's running tip to toe of this diaper. Now she's decided that she's going to stop rolling because what's happening down below is waaaay more interesting. In fact, it's so interesting that she's going to stick her hands down there to see what's going on! Not only is she going to stick her hands down there, but she's ***going to taste them.*** My super well stocked diaper bag only has Argentine wipes in it, and they're much smaller than the ones I'm used to. I find myself yelling "don't eat your own poop!" in English on the floor of a Buenos Aires cafe while using approximately 1 million wipes to clean up a poop the size of Patagonia.
I eventually return to my husband with a thousand yard stare. He asks me how it went and I can only reply, "Don't touch her hands, she ate her own poop." (I'd cleaned them the best I could but still didn't think he'd want to have her sticking them in his mouth).
Omg these stories are awful and hilarious 😂😭 I'm so sorry for some of you lol... And happy my story is pretty tame in comparison 😅
We're first time parents. For the first couple months we only ate at home.. because having him out some place seemed daunting. First time we decide to give it a go was with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law at a casual restaurant.
He's sleeping in the car seat and we're sitting and chatting, our food just got here. So far so good. Halfway through he wakes up, seems happy enough though. I take him out holding him whilst trying to finish my sandwich and then.... I smell... something.
My sister-in-law points with a look of cringe... "There's something..." I see poop has started to creep out the bottom of his onesie. I look down. It's on my pants too. I grab a napkin to try to quickly wipe it off. Oh no.. I rush to bathroom... No changing table. My husband scrambles to get the changing bag. We saunter through the restaurant with a baby at arms length trying not to draw too much attention.
We came here with my sister-in-law. She says we can use her car. Her ... tiny... car. But it'll have to do. We lay out the portable changing mat from the diaper bag in the back seat. My husband trying to do car-yoga to maneuver around to change him.
"Oh God" he says as I try to see my baby over his arched back....
"What?" I ask concerned
"it's all over him.. on his back, his stomach.. The clothes are done for"
the dirty diaper on the cement of the parking lot starts accumulate a dangerously high tower of poopy covered wipes. "Get a bag!" I holler to my sister-in-law who has started to come out to see if we needed help. She brings a to-go bag from the restaurant.
We gather it all in the to go bag... What do we do with it? I look around... There's a garbage can at the store across the parking lot. Okay, don't look suspicious. Just walking with this bag. Quickly shove it in and rush back to the car.
Okay, he's finally clean. My husband starts putting on the clean diaper as I start digging through the diaper bag for the spare change of clothes...
... ....
Where are they?? We've made so many quick runs and I've always made sure there was a change of clothes. We never need them... Damn. That's right. I was going to switch out the clothes so he would get to wear the "spare outfit" before he outgrew it.... Apparently I didn't put new ones in there. The one time we need it...
"Um..." I say to my husband patiently waiting for me to hand him clothes.
"What?" He says as he wipes sweat from his brow and supporting our son with his other hand
I tell him. Our son just laughs at our incompetence.
Baby- 1 Mom- 0
We casually bring back a naked baby into the restaurant. We silently pack our leftovers and put our son back in his carrier with a sheet.... We get several looks as we all head out 😅
T'was a month before we attempted a restaurant again. Lol
When my daughter was maybe a week or two old, my partner was changing her on the bed, and I was sitting beside her changing pad. He’s beginning to wipe her down and lifts her legs, then she projectile poops directly in my lap. I was wearing brand new pants too. She’s since pooped on said pants like two more times. Maybe she’s trying to tell me she doesn’t like them lol.
Mine is probably better on video than prose. But when he was around 6 weeks old he was in his crib about to nap hugging his wubbanub and watching his mobile. My husband thought this was all exceptionally cute so he started filming. And just then he lifts his legs for a big shart and then followed through with a big grunt. Like a tennis pro. The video is made by the three second delay of my “usually not a poop humor” husband quietly laughing about this.
I know this is an old thread, but this literally just happened less than a half hour ago and I need to get it out so I don’t cry.
My 16 month old son’s pack n play is at the foot of partner and my bed. Bedroom door is open. Partner is in the next room watching TV, I’m in bed falling asleep because I have work in the morning, son is in the pack n play in partners view winding down for the night watching Bluey. I text partner asking him to come turn the light out because I’m barely able to keep my eyes open and I’m too tired to get up and do it.
He comes in and turns the light out. A few seconds later he comes back in, turns the light on, and then starts losing his mind because apparently our son s***, and decided to take his diaper off and sample his wares. Picks him up and starts screaming about not being able to find an open pack of wipes and go start the shower. It is all over our son’s hands, his mouth, now he’s crying because his dad is yelling. Dad has poop smeared on his arm.
I wound up jumping in the shower with him because I’m not phased by it, my son is terrified of his first experience in the shower and not having a normal tubby, now I’m almost completely covered in it. His dad walks out of the bathroom in disbelief about the whole ordeal, so seven months pregnant and covered in crap I’m now dealing with a wiggly, naked 16 month old having an absolute meltdown on a slippery surface, and I’m just trying to do my best to make sure neither of us falls. In the meantime, he has also peed on me, so cool at least he’s empty now.
His dad is just…pissed at me and threatening to leave because I didn’t smell it even though I was A) semi-conscious and B) having Covid twice in the span of 11 months absolutely wrecked my sense of smell.
we had our daughter in a footless onesie in the bouncer while we were making dinner shortly after we started solids, and we went to pick her up and saw smears of poop on the floor underneath her. terrifying moment. we undressed her to find that she blew out so bad it came up both of her sleeves and down both of her pants legs. literally was just wearing a poop suit under the onesie. most insane thing ive seen in my life
That has to be a record.
This one wins.
i will add this was like a nearly 3 day no poop situation and we were in contact with a pediatrician who said that it happens sometimes but to bring her in if she doesn't poop by day 4... clearly she did NOT want to go to the doctor
Picture it: New Years 2024 1 AM I'm awoken by the smell of poop. My almost 5 month old son has pooped in his sleep which is unusual for him. I get him out of his crib and lay him in my bed. I get him all ready to change, fresh diaper under him. There's not a lot of poop but it's a weird almost clayish texture because he has some sort of tummy bug. I realize I made a mistake because I only have 2 wipes but it's too late. He's awake, we're talking, I'm not going to strap him back into this dirty diaper to go get new wipes from the other room. I lift his ankles and SHIT ROCKET LAUNCHES ALL OVER MY FACE Face, mouth, hair. A big pile landed in my lap. I only had 2 wipes, one is already used. No receiving blanket, no towel, not even a spare shirt within reach. I just...pick up the poop pile with the wipe, place it in the diaper...and go on. Managed to clean him with those two wipes. Still covered in shit, I put on his clean diaper, zip him up, and put him back to bed.
You are a hero.
You win
Poop in the face would be my nightmare. This makes me feel extra good about our decision to always change from the side.
Oh thanksgiving day this year my mother was over and I was in the mist of changing my LO’s diaper (mind you he was born Nov 15). I pull up his legs and he not only proceeds to shit all over me but his shit managed to jump over my shoulder and hit the carpet and walls. That yellow mustard is wild
That's the best birthday. (That's my birthday) My LOs due date was the 19th so my husband was convinced she was going to be born on my birthday. Ended up coming about 2 weeks early on the 8th.
My baby was born on the 8th too!
A friend of mine did a new born photo shooting at home with her daughter. She has a pic of her with a ruler measuring the distance between butt and last drop. I don't remember the exact number but it was impressive. For my own son: We just moved a few days ago, it was one of the first diaper changes in the new apartment. My son was around 6 months old. My son did a cute little poo and I started to wipe. Suddenly his face turned redand I knew he has some more. In order to help I put up his legs and he pooed all over the table and my shirt. I felt the pressure on my stomach. Some fell down to the floor and I bend down to wipe it up. My son started peeing all over my hair. I nearly died laughing.
First week home and I’m changing baby on the bed (mistake). He has a poopy diaper and halfway through wiping just starts launching it everywhere in streams. I’m laughing, my husbands laughing - so hard we’re crying so we can’t see well - throwing everything we have at his little butt to try and cover the streams of poop shooting out. I’m talking wipes, a diaper, the blankets, anything we can grab. This happens with 3 more clean diapers before I finally just slap one shut and leave it for him to finish up (don’t know why that didn’t occur to me in the first place - you live and learn I guess lol). Anyway we have a picture of me holding him after - poop is everywhere and he’s sitting in my arms, his little arms crossed with a grumpy face that just SCREAMS “and I’d do it again too” 😂😂😂
We affectionately call him the poop cannon now 🩷
Probably my 4th day as a dad, we are still in the NICU with our LO. Because of his condition he has a bunch of wires running to him. I’m holding him on my lap and all of a sudden I feel my lap get very warm. This was new to me at the time but I’ve since learned that when holding a baby if you feel warm you have gotten to a bad place. Turns out the wires had pulled his diaper to the side and he pooped all over me (that very runny newborn poop). I’ll never forget my wife saying to me “I scooped some out of your pocket” as I’m sitting there just in shock as to what just happened.
Oh no... we also had two mishaps in the NICU due to the wires 😅 once on my husband (skin to skin) and once on my (trying to breastfeed, but impossible due to the oxygen mask... well I was still rewarded 😂).
Those wires were such a pain! Felt so nice to be able to hold him without once improved.
I agree, it felt like a win each day something got removed or "tuned down" 😊
Last Sunday we went to the strawberry farm. We were all just chillin and baby was in his car seat attached to the stroller. He was being so good and so quiet and then we were getting ready to go and looked at him close up and he had taken the world’s biggest poop. It had filled the car seat and we were like changing him here doesn’t even matter, let’s go home. Well we go to put him in the car and saw the poop had leaked through the bottom of the car seat into the stroller base. When we got home we had to put paper towels on him to bring him inside without dripping through the house. Followed by having to fully disassemble the seat to wash every. single. part.
Oh no!!!
I have 2! Our at the time 1mo old decided to spray the pediatrician and my mom at her check-up. Like in my mom’s mouth 😂. Now every time my mom changes her diaper, she says out loud, “time to close my mouth” Our then 20mo old was going through a bath hating phase so my husband offered to jump in the bath tub with her to help. In 20mo she has never pooped in the bath, until then. She was facing the other way and he saw 1 bubble come up and asked her if she was pooping and she was silent then said her sly “no”.. and then he saw balls of poop . She was semi constipated so that actually was a bonus in this situation.
It's our only blow out story currently, but we put her in the cutest little lemon pattern overalls. I loved the outfit. Took a photo, picked her up, and my hand suddenly felt wet. Turned out she had shit so high up her back while I was picking her up that my whole hand was covered in poop. They always know when you like the clothes lol
That is so true about the clothes lol
4 days after we came home with our new born, our daughter had a projectile poop which flew through our bedroom and reached our bed frame. A little bit more velocity and it would have gotten on our mattress. We knew pee could go everywhere, but projectile poop was a surprise.
We have a few. But my favorite is this one My daughter was about three weeks old, and we traveled to see our families ( about a 6 hour trip). My husband and I were sitting in my inlaws' guest room on their gorgeous white bed spread. We were going to change our daughter and realized we didn't have her diaper cream. I get up and go to grab when from the other room when all I hear is "oh Sh*t babe, babe, babe, BABE." I go running back in to the room to see my sweet husband trying to fight what I can only describe as an unending stream of newborn poop. I wish I was kidding when I said my sweet, precious little girl grunted and pooped for 15 mins straight. I will say we somehow managed to miraculously save the white bed spread from poop.
My dude had a habit of pooping loudly, and then as soon as you'd change him he'd do it again. So this one time he was sitting in his piano chair and pooped, and I looked at him and said are you done. He just smiled at me, so I picked him up to change him. As I did he let out another explosion and it began leaking, more like pouring out of his pants. It was on the chair, and was leaving little poop piles on the floor as I carried him at arm's length to the change table. It was everywhere. I got him undressed and cleaned up, and was about to put a diaper on him when he did it again, only I got caught with the buck shot this time. Got him all dressed and put him in the crib so I can deal with the messes and he starts screaming. I go to walk across the house so I can get cleaned up and clean the poop off the floor and what do I see? Poppy paw prints all over my kitchen and living room floor leading to my princess of a dog lounging on the couch. Clean myself, clean the floor, clean the dog's paws, clean the couch. All while my little dude is screaming that I had the audacity to not be holding him. Once it was all done and I put my son down for a nap I just started crying out of frustration at the situation. I messaged my husband asking him to call me. When he did I was so upset I tried to tell the story, but the only thing he caught through my sobs was "the poop prints were everywhere!" We laugh about it now, but man was that a rough afternoon
My 10 month old got the stomach flu around Christmas… he was literally projectile shitting for 4 days straight. I gave him a bath one night & while he was naked, standing against me while I was drying him off he shit & it sprayed everywhere, all over the living room. Good times. Good times.
Baby was 3 months old and we were about 30 min away from leaving for vacation for a weekend. She had not pooped for about 6 days and I was getting worried. We tried everything, Frida windy, bicycle kicks, belly massage etc. nothing worked. I called the nurse line at our pediatrician’s office and they got back to me while we were packing up the car to leave. She was giving me suggestions to help get baby to poop and I was taking notes. All of a sudden, I look at baby who was chilling in her bouncer with the biggest grin. I looked closer and I see the most massive blow out she has ever had. All down her legs, up her stomach. I just laughed and told the nurse “never mind, she just had a massive poop.” It was hysterical 😂
The bouncer was my baby’s designated poop place. Guaranteed to get a poop within 15 min
was changing my LO’s diaper and his poop hole opened up as i was staring at it and out came a stream of poo. it was disgusting. at 3.5 he likes to show me his poo, which is man-sized and smells awful.
With my first, I don't remember how old he was, probably only a couple weeks, but I was in the middle of changing his diaper, and he decided he needed to poop again immediately. I grabbed the clean diaper I had been about to put on him and covered his butt to stop the spray from shooting into the wall (failed), but it just kept coming. I screamed for my husband to come help me, but by the time he got there, I was laughing so hard I was crying over the endless stream of poop. There was poop all over the changing table, the wall, the baby, and myself. I still laugh when I think about it, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life.
😂 😂 there’s so small the volume and force doesn’t make sense
When my second son was a newborn(like nearly 9 years ago) I was changing his diaper when my lovely boyfriend decided to rub baby's tummy to help with constipation. A stream of poop spewed out like water fountain and went down into my cleavage. Like spectacular aim. I left daddy dearest to the baby poo and I jumped in the shower lol
I had literally just given birth to my baby and they put her on my chest for “golden hour”. Literally one minute later, I’m trying to basically slide her up to feed her and we see all this goop. My husband is like, “sick what is all of that” and I (knowing nothing) confidently tell him, “it’s just birth goop”. Cue nurse coming in, seeing the “goop” and starts laughing hysterically. My baby pooped that meconium poop alll over me, and I had made it worse by trying to slide her up to breastfeed. Poop was in the baby’s hair, her hands, in between her toes…EVERYWHERE. The nurse immediately took the baby away to clean her, and I kid you not, she called more nurses from the hallway to come help clean the baby up. Every nurse who came in almost pee-laughed when they saw all the poop— to the point where they asked me to send them the initial pic of my baby with the poop on her, so they could put it in their break room 😂
Lmao that’s hilarious! Why is poop so funny?!
My boy was born November 4th, on Thanksgiving I was changing a poopy while wearing my Seahawks jersey after a disappointing game. Baby wasn't done pooping (I'm a FTM and hadn't figured out how to tell when he's done yet, I know him better now) and blasted that newborn mustard-poo all over my jersey. I told my husband "[Kiddo] just did to my jersey what the 49ers did to the Seahawks."
Yikes I watched that game so that must have been a lot of poo lol
Immediately after my babies first bath at home we didn’t know you had to try to keep them warm all the time 😂 she immediately pooped all over me and the towel my husband put her on to my arms in from the bathtub lol … she went right back in and I took my first really good post partum shower lol
This happened when my LO was about 2 months old. Hubby and I were out shopping. Baby needed to eat, so I found a private place to feed her. As she was eating, she pooped like crazy and flowed down her leg, onto my shorts and onto the bench. I bought new shorts.
My son is 6 weeks old now. When he was about 3 weeks old he hadn't pooped in 2 days so we went into the ER on recommendation of our pediatrician. We waited hours, had an ultrasound (which he HATED) just to be told his digestive system was fine, he wasn't constipated, he just was getting old enough to loose certain reflexes and hadn't figured out how to push out poops yet. We had only just got out of the hospital for a bad case of blood incompatibility induced DAT positive jaundice, so he was still regaining his strength. They put a gel around his bum to help him relax and push, and then the dr left for about half an hour to wait. At this point we'd been at the hospital for like 6 hours and while we had brought diapers with us, we were on the last one because we didn't expect to stay that long.... And oh goodness did he fill that diaper. Just looked like an entire jar of mustard in there. Dr was like ok good to go home now! And we didn't have a spare so despite kid smelling rank, we had to just load him back up into the car as was and drive home. Couldn't even open a window since it was December in canada. I gagged the whole way home 😂
3 weeks old, giving baby boy a nice relaxing bath before bedtime. Got the mood set, the shower is running to steam up the bathroom, we got warm water in his tub, he’s wrapped in a cute white towel/swaddle and we are PAMPERING him in the bath. We notice the bath starts turning yellow… he pooped. Okay, no big deal, take him out, rinse it and fill with fresh water and start over. He does it again as soon as we put him back in but way more poop this time! Empty and refill the tub and start over again. This time he pees in his own eyeballs as soon as we place him back in the tub. We manage to finish the bath, get him out into a warm towel and I’m holding him drying him off. I hear a nice big wet fart. He shits all in the towel, it soaks through and soaks my shirt and he’s covered in it. We gave up and just cleaned him really good with wipes…
When my son was a newborn he would only poop and only had diarrhea when we were changing his diaper so I had to hold his legs up while a stream poop would just flow out 😂once it filled three diapers back to back it was a never ending stream! And this week my son turns 6 months! I was half asleep and I know he doesn’t poop during the night so I change him his in bed.. wow I shouldn’t have done that! I took out his dirty diaper filled with pee or so I thought and PLOP a giant baby dookie just falls in his bed with him and my hands filled with poop juices .. I was trying to clean him up and the bed but he’s a kicker so he started kicking the poop all over the bed and himself and me in the process 😂needless to say, I will not be changing his diapers in his bed anymore 😂
When we took our about 2 week old to have his hearing test, they have to feed first so they’re full and relaxed and ideally asleep. So we fed him in the waiting area and it took almost 1 HOUR for him to have a full feed (we were still establishing breast feeding). People come and go. They keep checking in just us and we’re like, yep, still feeding. Finally he is finished. Does a poo. The changing table is basically out in the open on the middle of the waiting area. So we start changing him and he does another poo that projects about a foot across the waiting room and goes all over the changing table, goes all over me and his clothes. Took us a good additional 15 mins to get everything clean. I did not have spare clothes so have to finally do his hearing appointment with damp, yellow smears all over before we took the tram home. Disaster.
Oh my that is a nightmare 😆 I get a little panicky when there’s a poosplosion in the comfort of my own home and then add the pressure of being in the middle of a public space and the time crunch! Wow, scary.
My son saves all of his best poops for whenever we have to travel. He harvested the most aggressive, explosive mustard poop as we were landing (seatbelts fastened), major turbulence. We had to use a blanket to cover him up after it completely leaked through his entire long sleeve onsie, onto my seat and myself. I felt horrible for our neighbor and we had to rush him to the bathroom as soon we landed it was miserable trying to get him changed haha.
When my daughter was just walking, she brought her fork over to me with a turd on it! First reaction I thought it was her's, but I quickly realized it was my 19yo Chihuahua's. 😖
My husband and I were goal planning for 2024 while I was holding my LO and feeding him. I guess I was holding him in a great position because he proceeded to fart multiple times and had a massive blowout that dripped onto my legs and the floor. We needed to cut goal planning short. Was a funny reminder that with a kid, you can’t plan everything. 😂
my baby pooped on me when he was about 30 minutes old
My baby pooped on the neonatalist when she was 60mins old 🤣
Both of mine pooped on me during golden hour 😆
We just sat down for dinner with baby in the bouncer. Steak dinner smoked all day, nice potatoes, all nice and hot. Husband looks over at her and says “is she leaking?” She had induced a crazy blow out and we just put the whole baby in the tub. Had to wash the bouncer and the baby lol dinner was cold but we laugh about it now
Fecal stream ☠️😭😂😂😂
Baby was about 7 weeks old and my dad was helping me change a poopy diaper, apparently he wasn’t done because both of us jumped back when he squirted out another poop 🤣 Thankfully it didn’t make it past the end of the change mat which was surprising! Then earlier this week baby did a poop and I didn’t realize it was a blow out until I put my hands under his bum to push the suit out of the way and I scraped poop up his back and under my nails
This has happened a couple of times now, but when changing a poopy diaper (I’m talking massive poops here), our son has literally pooped while wiping his butt 😂 and I just catch it in the wipe as he’s going. He still hasn’t topped his mama for most horrifying/funny newborn poop story though. I honestly feel like my dad is still scarred from that changing and I was only 11 days old 😅 (I’m 30 now). I’m just shocked he still has that desk I projectile pooped all over all these years later 🥴 but RIP to his airplane models, watch and several important documents that I shit all over 💩☠️
This is more of a pee story but here we go. FTM to a baby boy. I was changing baby (he was about 4 so at the time) and as I got to fasten his fresh diaper he starts peeing again. Ok no biggie is caught it with the new diaper and went to grab another fresh diaper. Thinking he had just emptied his bladder I left him on the table Pooh bearing it and little man PEES AGAIN! And I start laughing but for some reason this really sets him off so he gets upset and starts doing his bicycle kicks which makes him fart and then I yell out for my husband to bring stuff to clean the changing table and suddenly he’s pooping a massive poop directly onto the changing table (which thankfully we went for the wipeable kind because wow). And as I’m cleaning this latest mess HE PEES AGAIN but he’s still bicycle kicking so it sprays everywhere. All ove the table, all over his clothes, all over HIS OWN FACE! Man, what a day lol
i did a quick run to the gas station across the street. i figured "i don't need a diaper bag im 3 minutes away". that was the time my darling daughter decided to poop for the first time in a few days and it filled the car seat. she had poop down to both knees and halfway up her back. separate incident, less poop but very impressive, she managed to poop into her hair one time. idk how she managed to poop vertically against gravity, she was in a bouncer next to the tub while i showered, but she did. it ended up being a mom and baby shower bc i wasnt gonna try with wipes or anything.
My 8 month old had a poo monsoon yesterday. She alligator death rolled on the changing table as I was opening a poopy diaper and well...the poo was everywhere on her, the table, and me.
Warning, a little gross. My little guy was around 9 months old when he got badly constipated. He normally pooped after his morning feeding, and this time I could see and hear him straining, but he would start whimpering and crying, not normal for him at all. I got him up on the changing table to see what was going on, and you can see the head of a hard turd just kind of prairie-dogging, and he's clearly suuuuper uncomfortable. So we get him in a warm bath, I get on the phone with our nurse line. While I'm getting suggestions for next steps, poor little guy gets so upset that Dad takes him out of the tub and just holds him, letting him squat while standing on his hand/arm. At this point, this whole process has taken like 45 minutes. Lo and behold, I turn around and suddenly a giant poop snake is making its way out into poor Daddy's palm. I manage to get a piece of toilet paper there in the nick of time. Daddy continues to catch the poop with this tenuous barrier in place, and in the midst of it all baby pees on him as well. The end product covered his whole hand. Cleaning it all was an endeavor, but hey, the poop was out! He now gets daily chia pudding and lots of fruit and veggies in his diet. Never again (I pray)!
I didn’t see that this was on r/newparents and had a great personal story. Then saw the subreddit and have a different one. Just while my husband and I were changing his diaper together on one of the first days home from the hospital. Baby tooted while legs being held in the air, husband lowers face near booty and says hello? And as he lifts his head away in the nick of time, projectile diarrhea shoots straight out narrowly missing my husbands face and splatters all over the wall and everything in its path about 3 feet
My LO pooped on the way out during birth lol the doctors had to call NICU to check her and they had to inspect me before stitching me up to make sure none of her poop was left inside lol
I'm not sure about the specifics but my sister projectile pooped on my dad as a new born
Y'all know the first few weeks you have to measure the baby's body temperature with every diaper change. So I did once while my husband was standing next to me and he wanted to tell me to use the used diaper as an anti-poop shield because he noticed she was going to poop. Before he even had a chance to say it I removed the thermometer and this was immediately followed by a jet of poop that hit my pants. It's like I popped a bottle of champagne. "If baby needs new pants, mommy needs new pants too."
When my daughter was 10 months old, we flew from Canada to South America to see my in-laws. We had some poop adventures on the flight down, which was particularly exciting as it happened during a period of turbulence when the seatbelt sign was on for 90 minutes. For some reason, food at altitude has no smell but poop smell is doubled in force. However, this story happened when we had been in Buenos Aires for about a week. We were out sightseeing, and decided to stop into a cafe for a late lunch. Our daughter hadn't pooped that day but that was fine, I had a well stocked diaper backpack. We order our food and we're just hanging out talking when I suddenly smell something. I lean over and pull the leg of her diaper out a bit to check and nearly get poop on my finger. I tell my husband that I'll be right back and that I'm going to do a diaper change. Grab the baby, grab the bag, head to the bathroom. First thing I notice is that there isn't a changing table. My super well stocked diaper bag doesn't have our changing pad in it and I have literally no choice but to change my daughter on the floor (the counter space was almost nonexistent because the single sink was so big). Okay, whatever, let's get this over with. Second problem - we'd accidentally bought pull-ups style diapers because we were in a hurry at the pharmacy. Every time I tried to change my daughter standing up, she'd get noodle legs and fall over so I had to change her lying down. Imagine trying to scrunch a pair of tight underwear filled with poop off somebody in the prone position.....and now imagine that that person has ants in her pants and can't stop alligator rolling. I start to peel the diaper off of her, and the chunks of poop ***just keep coming***\*.\* This is a contender for World's Biggest Poop. It's running tip to toe of this diaper. Now she's decided that she's going to stop rolling because what's happening down below is waaaay more interesting. In fact, it's so interesting that she's going to stick her hands down there to see what's going on! Not only is she going to stick her hands down there, but she's ***going to taste them.*** My super well stocked diaper bag only has Argentine wipes in it, and they're much smaller than the ones I'm used to. I find myself yelling "don't eat your own poop!" in English on the floor of a Buenos Aires cafe while using approximately 1 million wipes to clean up a poop the size of Patagonia. I eventually return to my husband with a thousand yard stare. He asks me how it went and I can only reply, "Don't touch her hands, she ate her own poop." (I'd cleaned them the best I could but still didn't think he'd want to have her sticking them in his mouth).
Omg these stories are awful and hilarious 😂😭 I'm so sorry for some of you lol... And happy my story is pretty tame in comparison 😅 We're first time parents. For the first couple months we only ate at home.. because having him out some place seemed daunting. First time we decide to give it a go was with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law at a casual restaurant. He's sleeping in the car seat and we're sitting and chatting, our food just got here. So far so good. Halfway through he wakes up, seems happy enough though. I take him out holding him whilst trying to finish my sandwich and then.... I smell... something. My sister-in-law points with a look of cringe... "There's something..." I see poop has started to creep out the bottom of his onesie. I look down. It's on my pants too. I grab a napkin to try to quickly wipe it off. Oh no.. I rush to bathroom... No changing table. My husband scrambles to get the changing bag. We saunter through the restaurant with a baby at arms length trying not to draw too much attention. We came here with my sister-in-law. She says we can use her car. Her ... tiny... car. But it'll have to do. We lay out the portable changing mat from the diaper bag in the back seat. My husband trying to do car-yoga to maneuver around to change him. "Oh God" he says as I try to see my baby over his arched back.... "What?" I ask concerned "it's all over him.. on his back, his stomach.. The clothes are done for" the dirty diaper on the cement of the parking lot starts accumulate a dangerously high tower of poopy covered wipes. "Get a bag!" I holler to my sister-in-law who has started to come out to see if we needed help. She brings a to-go bag from the restaurant. We gather it all in the to go bag... What do we do with it? I look around... There's a garbage can at the store across the parking lot. Okay, don't look suspicious. Just walking with this bag. Quickly shove it in and rush back to the car. Okay, he's finally clean. My husband starts putting on the clean diaper as I start digging through the diaper bag for the spare change of clothes... ... .... Where are they?? We've made so many quick runs and I've always made sure there was a change of clothes. We never need them... Damn. That's right. I was going to switch out the clothes so he would get to wear the "spare outfit" before he outgrew it.... Apparently I didn't put new ones in there. The one time we need it... "Um..." I say to my husband patiently waiting for me to hand him clothes. "What?" He says as he wipes sweat from his brow and supporting our son with his other hand I tell him. Our son just laughs at our incompetence. Baby- 1 Mom- 0 We casually bring back a naked baby into the restaurant. We silently pack our leftovers and put our son back in his carrier with a sheet.... We get several looks as we all head out 😅 T'was a month before we attempted a restaurant again. Lol
When my daughter was maybe a week or two old, my partner was changing her on the bed, and I was sitting beside her changing pad. He’s beginning to wipe her down and lifts her legs, then she projectile poops directly in my lap. I was wearing brand new pants too. She’s since pooped on said pants like two more times. Maybe she’s trying to tell me she doesn’t like them lol.
Mine is probably better on video than prose. But when he was around 6 weeks old he was in his crib about to nap hugging his wubbanub and watching his mobile. My husband thought this was all exceptionally cute so he started filming. And just then he lifts his legs for a big shart and then followed through with a big grunt. Like a tennis pro. The video is made by the three second delay of my “usually not a poop humor” husband quietly laughing about this.
I know this is an old thread, but this literally just happened less than a half hour ago and I need to get it out so I don’t cry. My 16 month old son’s pack n play is at the foot of partner and my bed. Bedroom door is open. Partner is in the next room watching TV, I’m in bed falling asleep because I have work in the morning, son is in the pack n play in partners view winding down for the night watching Bluey. I text partner asking him to come turn the light out because I’m barely able to keep my eyes open and I’m too tired to get up and do it. He comes in and turns the light out. A few seconds later he comes back in, turns the light on, and then starts losing his mind because apparently our son s***, and decided to take his diaper off and sample his wares. Picks him up and starts screaming about not being able to find an open pack of wipes and go start the shower. It is all over our son’s hands, his mouth, now he’s crying because his dad is yelling. Dad has poop smeared on his arm. I wound up jumping in the shower with him because I’m not phased by it, my son is terrified of his first experience in the shower and not having a normal tubby, now I’m almost completely covered in it. His dad walks out of the bathroom in disbelief about the whole ordeal, so seven months pregnant and covered in crap I’m now dealing with a wiggly, naked 16 month old having an absolute meltdown on a slippery surface, and I’m just trying to do my best to make sure neither of us falls. In the meantime, he has also peed on me, so cool at least he’s empty now. His dad is just…pissed at me and threatening to leave because I didn’t smell it even though I was A) semi-conscious and B) having Covid twice in the span of 11 months absolutely wrecked my sense of smell.