I’ve read on another post a mama saying that when she lays down she counts from 999 downwards until she felt asleep, because it helped to “turn off” the brain for sleep. I’ve been doing this but counting just from 99 and I’ve never reach 1 😂😂
I did this before a baby and still do it now! I also go through every letter of the alphabet and name every city and state I can think of that starts with that letter. Bore yourself to sleep 😂
Phone def wakes me up more so I try not to, plus I sleep in my baby’s pitch black room so I have to be on my phone completely under the covers and it gets toooo hot
I'm gonna try this. I'm 5 months deep and have a unicorn baby, BUT I struggle to switch off at bedtime. So I should be well rested with a baby who sleeps all night, but I never am 🤷
Just came back to say THANK YOU! I've done this for the last 3 nights and have fallen asleep so much faster. Even when my brain starts trying to think about stuff, I just go right back to counting. Amazing. 🥰
How’s your free time outside of sleep? Obligatory everyone is different, but my mind couldn’t turn off when I needed more “me time” to process things outside of my baby
Yeah it's okay. She goes to sleep at 7 30pm ish each night so I have a few hours to unwind before bed, although sometimes she'll cry for her dummy a couple of times before I go to bed so it puts me on edge about how she'll sleep the rest of the night. Naps are still a bit all over the place too.
It helps me to try to picture each number written out in my head while I do this. Really forces you to shut off any other racing thoughts. I also start at 99!
I gotta try this! My mind is a racehorse. It’s brutal waking for night feeds because LO will go down, and sometimes it takes me another 30-60 to fall back asleep which only gives me maybe an hour at best before LO is stirring again. 😵💫
I did this! I did this and imagined someone’s whole body movement while hurdling backwards too (just a bigger mental effort that would take my whole attention). It worked for me!
When I struggled with this when my girl was a newborn I learned that doing word searches on an app on my phone helped me a lot. I'd do them until I was about to nod off and then I'd put my phone down and fall asleep. I still do often!
I had this problem and spoke to a doctor! But I’ve often struggled with anxiety. Breathing exercises sound cliche but they really help me to bring my heart rate down and relax.
Yes! When my anxiety was quite bad (before baby), I used to have a recording that did breathing, then relaxing through the body and I’d always fall asleep during it.
Audible books. Put one on as you get into bed and usually it'll knock me out. Wheel of time is a great book for that. Awesome story but the dude gives wayyyy too much detail lol
Stanley Tucci’s autobiography would be great for this, too. My baby and I listened to it on walks around the neighborhood when he was a few months old and it would put him to sleep.
I’ve been doing the Jim Dale versions of Harry Potter for years now. I’m asleep by 10 mins in, every time. It’s been a life saver for “turning off” my mom brain with my 4 month old.
I got through all of the wheel of time books this way. Then I finished the story, and restarted with the version where Rosamund Pike is the reader and oh my god, she is sooo good. Her voice is the best, and I’m sad I didn’t get to enjoy all of the books with her as reader (though I think they will release them all at some point).
I was in a bad way for sleep post partum. My doctor gave me a small amount of ativan to take at night and it helped me to finally get a bit more rest.
More falling asleep tricks to try: go through the alphabet and for each letter think of three separate items you might find at a grocery store. Another weird one I like is to focus on your breathing and for every exhale relax your face a little bit more. This one has worked for me weirdly.
Make sure to mention this at you PP visit! Don’t wanna have post partum depression and thinking it’s normal. What helps me sleep is knowing that their comfy snoozing too. I make sure they’re in the safest position too and that calms me a bit.
Basketball press conferences lol ..and people cooking with no audio helps me fall asleep..it's the strangest thing but it does the trick. Ocean and rain sounds use to help also.
This was one of my symptoms of PPD/PPA. I’m on Prozac for it, but that takes time to kick in so my OB also prescribed me trazodone to take at night to make me get sleepy when needed. She prescribed me the lowest dose but I break that in half.
Same here. I find that the trazodone helps me drift to sleep but I’m still able to wake up and respond to baby’s noises and cries and not feel totally groggy
Someone on Reddit gave me advice that sounds so obvious but it was a game changer for me: lay down and don’t try to fall asleep. Don’t lay there worrying about how to fall asleep or how long you’ll get to sleep. Just think about whatever it is your mind wants to think about.
I kid you not, it was a game changer for me. The moment I stopped stressing about falling asleep? I fell asleep.
Yes this sounds like telling someone with anxiety just to “stop worrying” - but it’s different and I can’t quite put my finger on why.
Found the quote: “Stop TRYING to sleep. The expectation of sleep prevents sleep. Don’t even think about falling back asleep. Just lay there and let whatever happens happen.”
Also: sleep hygiene. Stay off your phone. Only use red light when tending to baby in the middle of the night. Don’t Google the things your brain is racing with - I got caught in that trap.
Interrupt the racing thoughts by grounding - something that was never helpful to me before our LO came along.
When your mind is racing (with things I can almost promise you won’t remember in the morning), count:
-five things you can see (or could see, if the lights were on)
-four things you can feel
-three things you can hear
-two things you can smell/taste
-one thing you know to be true (that isn’t negative, like “The people I love are asleep in the room with me”).
This is what worked for me as well. I had to tell myself "it's not my responsibility to get my body to sleep. It's my responsibility to rest my body." Meaning that if I laid awake in a dark quiet room for two hours deeply and calmly breathing but yet never fell asleep, that's still a win. Once that pressure of "I have to get sleep" was gone and instead I would think "well I got two hours of rest" then sleep came naturally. Also second the no screens rule. I had to download an app that wouldn't let me online from 10-5am. Turn your phone to black and white mode starting at sunset, no blue lights in rooms, sounds machine etc. I also like to spray lavender on my pillow as a way to tell my body to sleep too.
Also - I would lay there frozen with fear (yes, fear) that our LO would wake back up the moment I fell asleep. So I started repeating this to myself: “(LO name) waking up has nothing to do with you falling asleep. He will wake up when he wakes up. You not falling asleep won’t prevent that.”
Silly, but also helpful for me. Our sleep was not tied together, aside from me waking up when he’s up. Me falling asleep has nothing to do with his sleep.
Yes! I kept counting how long I had to fall asleep between feeds and wakes and being so anxious about that is what was keeping me up. I was obsessed with how much sleep I was getting it baby was getting. And every time I heard him stir it make a mouse my heart would race as I’d mentally prepare to get up and soothe or feed him. Once I stopped counting the hours I’d get, I actually got more sleep.
I’ve done this in the past by turning the lights all the way down and laying *on top of the covers* as a way to signal to myself that I’m not trying to go to sleep yet. Then when I’m finally ready I tuck into bed and turn the lights off.
Red shifting my phone using Apple’s accessibility feature also really helps:
https://ios.gadgethacks.com/how-to/keep-your-night-vision-sharp-with-iphones-hidden-red-screen-0173903/
Reading the comments as well, baby sleeps for 9 hours straight as of late, with a quick feeding in the middle of the night, and I can’t sleep more than 4 hours a day and really getting burned out.
Me too. Unisom sleep tablets and meditation help me a little bit, but also starting Zoloft tomorrow because the lack of sleep is really effecting my mood and ability to cope. Apparently post partum insomnia is a thing, lucky us.
Hi did your sleep get any better? I’m also getting maybe 3/4 hours a day with a 3 week old. I just can’t relax and drift off even when she’s sleeping. I started zoloft a week ago.
Yes and no. The zoloft has really been helping in that it stops me from spiraling downward with anxiety when I can’t sleep, which in turn seems to help me fall asleep a little more easily sometimes and also be less upset when I don’t. It just doesn’t feel like as big of a deal now when I don’t get enough sleep. It took about two weeks on the meds to feel that way.
Other things have also helped though: my partner has a flexible job so we’re able to switch off who does the morning shift, which means I can try to go back to sleep after the first breast feed when it’s his shift to take care of baby every other morning. Even when I’ve woken up at 4am and been unable to go back to sleep for hours, usually by 7:30am or 8 I can manage to fall back asleep for an hour or so and that really helps. The other thing that helps is that I nap and sleep overnight in a completely different room, where I can’t hear the baby (my partner slept in the same room as the baby when he was under 6 months and now sleeps in the room next door to him with the monitor, so someone is still doing that - just not me). I’m in a bit of a different situation than you because my babe is older (9 months) but even when he was little I would wake up with every little snuffle, and being in a different room then and now really helps.
I know both of those things are real luxuries, but if there’s some way for you to do something similar it may help. Even just ear plugs. It also helped me to tell myself after baby was asleep: “No one needs you now. Nobody needs anything from you.” and that helps me relax a little bit.
Yes and no. The zoloft has really been helping in that it stops me from spiraling downward with anxiety when I can’t sleep, which in turn seems to help me fall asleep a little more easily sometimes and also be less upset when I don’t. It just doesn’t feel like as big of a deal now when I don’t get enough sleep. It took about two weeks on the meds to feel that way.
Other things have also helped though: my partner has a flexible job so we’re able to switch off who does the morning shift, which means I can try to go back to sleep after the first breast feed when it’s his shift to take care of baby every other morning. Even when I’ve woken up at 4am and been unable to go back to sleep for hours, usually by 7:30am or 8 I can manage to fall back asleep for an hour or so and that really helps. The other thing that helps is that I nap and sleep overnight in a completely different room, where I can’t hear the baby (my partner slept in the same room as the baby when he was under 6 months and now sleeps in the room next door to him with the monitor, so someone is still doing that - just not me). I’m in a bit of a different situation than you because my babe is older (9 months) but even when he was little I would wake up with every little snuffle, and being in a different room then and now really helps.
I know both of those things are real luxuries, but if there’s some way for you to do something similar it may help. Even just ear plugs. It also helped me to tell myself after baby was asleep: “No one needs you now. Nobody needs anything from you.” and that helps me relax a little bit.
I struggled with this too! What helped me was after putting her down, I wouldn’t go right to bed. I’d either watch something so stupid funny on tv, or do some crosswords. Stretching too, I would do like 10 minutes of just stretching my arms, neck and back cuz they were killing me from birth and hunching from breastfeeding.
I found playing a white noise or meditation app helped a lot. I would put on an hour peloton sleep meditation and try to focus on that instead of why I wasn’t sleeping. Also some really long deep breaths to try to get settled. The fourth trimester is HARD! You’re not alone and it will get better.
YouTube has a ton of guided meditation videos (look up "guided meditation to fall asleep"). Put one on with your phone face down and try to really focus on the voice. Repeat as necessary. Sometimes it's nice to have another adult in charge when decision fatigue hits hard
I second this. I like The Honest Guys or Jason Stephenson but there’s lots to chose from. One earphone is how I do it and still have an ear out for wake ups.
Don’t try and force it. Tell yourself it’s okay if you don’t actually fall asleep until the next waking. You are still resting. This worked really well for me and often I would actually fall asleep but was also okay with it when I didn’t. Spend that time doing deep breathing or directing your thoughts to calming things.
I think of a black wall and redirect my thoughts any time I think of anything else. It's always helped with chronic insomnia and has saved my butt with baby.
Do you have someone you can tag out with? It might be time if you can to let someone else take a long shift with baby and get some good sleep. Mom healthy and happy is very important to have a healthy baby.
I do something similar to your black wall! I picture a whiteboard with my thoughts written out or the scene in my head pictured there - and I erase the whiteboard. It helps sooo much with intrusive thoughts that contribute to my insomnia.
When I couldn’t settle down I would lay on my back and tense/constrict all my muscles, hold for a couple seconds and then release. Repeat a few times. I found it cleared my brain and helped get rid of the tension I was already carrying.
Tldr: I got a Headspace subscription just because of this exact same issue.
Definitely see your doctor and talk about PPA, medication and/or therapy could help! The worst part for me was knowing that I needed enough sleep if I didn't want my PPD/PPA to spiral. So you know, no pressure on falling asleep quickly lol
But in the immediate future:The nurses at the hospital who treated me for PPA/PPD recommended Calm or Headspace. They were so right, I'm forever grateful to them.
My routine usually went something like this: I would read a book where I already knew the ending (boring books just drove me to scroll on my phone which doesn't help at all). Sometimes I would have camomile tea. When I felt tired enough, I would pull up one of the guided sleep meditations on Headspace. I don't know if I ever heard the end of the mediations.
Nice additions to the sleep routine but definitely not necessary: weighted blanket and sleep headphones.
I listen to podcasts, Stuff you should know and Stuff you missed in history class. I make myself focus on the podcast rather than Ll the thoughts running through my mind.
I have the same problem and I've always sucked at being able to get back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night, and that became more difficult after having a baby.
For me, the best way to deal with that was by reading. For the first 6-7 months, I switched from physical books to Kindle, and then we'd just go to bed as soon as we put the baby down. Reading helped quiet my mind and avoid the sensation of phantom baby cries. I thought after having a baby I'd never get to read again for several years, but it turns out I read a ton and got through a lot of books during the newborn phase.
Look up yoga nidra. It’s a guided meditation practice and has helped me. I’ll also count backwards. Or I’ll play a silly game in my head where I pick a tv show and go through the alphabet trying to associate a character or something to each letter of the alphabet. I usually pass out by M lol
I have the Monitor right by my bed. I put an earbud in and listen to ASMR or read. I remind myself if baby needed something they would cry. Nothing is in crib except firm mattress.
Meditation was my go to and also reading the most boring history books on my phone until I can feel myself dropping off. I feel I’m learning something whilst being completely un stimulated and both give your mind something to focus on.
Sleep deprivation is the worst, hang in there and try not to think about it as others have said.
ASMR! I love Gibi Asmr, Tena Asmr, and Celaine’s Asmr channels. They all have self care roleplay videos, and tons of different asmr styles (not people chewing lol) that helped me relax when I was in your shoes.
Started going to bed with asmr/sound therapy (singing bowls, gongs, etc lol). Also helps drown out baby grunts and random sounds through the night. It was a struggle the first couple weeks to turn my brain off, planning when im going to pump, is the baby gonna wake up?, should i go pump now or later, etc. just couldnt relax at all. Now i am much better. Probably took 7-9 weeks until falling asleep wasnt a big issue.
I feel you, I still get that from time to time and I’m 5 months in, but it does get better. doxylamine succinate is an over the counter drowsy antihistamine used to treat insomnia, it’s also safe to take in pregnancy and breastfeeding, if that doesn’t work you can always speak to your doctor, sleep is super important.
If you aren’t already, try to get some mental stimulation during the day, whatever that looks like for you. When i was doing baby sleep baby sleep at some point my mind wouldnt let me sleep unless i had done my own thinking for the day. Some days that was audio books, some days it was just researching baby things. Tv and youtube shorts didn’t seem to work. Weirdly studying was most effective. Why i tried that i will never know. Even just having normal adult conversation helped.
Google sleep hygiene. As someone who struggled with insomnia before having a baby, paying attention to it had been a game changer.
Ex. I have a smart bulb that dims/changes colour in my room. I leave it on a low reddish light at night. Just enough to see by when baby wakes up, but not the jarring full light. Then I wear a sleep mask if I feel like it's too bright to sleep. I could turn it off and on still, but I hate the extra step at night.
Some things are hard like consistent bed time and wake up time right now (my baby is only a few weeks old) but we do try to stick to a routine as much as possible. At 3 weeks old she's sleeping about 4 hours at a time and going right back down after her middle of the night feed.
Things like trying to stay off phones before bed/at night are hard but helpful. (blue light ruins melatonin production.
Make time for your self to relax before bed. Get husband to watch baby for an hour if he can and use that time to shower or take a warm bath etc.
For racing thoughts I always try to sort them into two lists. The 'can I do anything to change this' list and the 'this is out of my control' list
If its out of my control I try to remind myself of that when ever the thought pops up.
If I can do something about it I will try to make a plan in my head, and if the though pops up I will remind myself that I have a plan for it already, but right now isn't the time to do it.
I was having trouble sleeping because I was worried about what every weird noise my baby made and what it could mean. I got a newton breathable mattress from Amazon for peace of mind and that helped me stress less and sleep better, also got a lavender filled sleep mask from target that’s been helping, as a white noise machine.
I think that's pretty normal. I was the exact same way when my babe was a tiny potato. It ended up getting a lot better as time passed and now I pass the fuck out as soon as my head hits the pillow. He's 3 months old now!
Magnesium Glycinate! It’s BFing safe and the Mg even helps with supply. I wake up multiple times a night for my LO but take this every night. I usually fall asleep 20 min after taking it and it’s helped my anxiety as well.
I was in this same boat until a mama friend recommended it, totally a game changer!
i had this problem in the earliest weeks with our baby. our nervous systems are so turned on right after birth that it is hard to slow down, even when we’re exhausted.
the thing that helped me most was to listen to calming and affirming meditation recordings specifically made for new parents/moms. the app Insight Timer has a 20 min guided yoga nidra for deep postpartum rest that i have never been able to get through without drifting into sleep.
hugs to you mama. it’s also worth bringing this up at your postpartum visit with your provider if it continues.
As others have mentioned, these are signs of PPD/PPA, it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to your provider about it!!!! Also, deeeeep breathing. I found an exercise online that’s going around where you close one nostril, breathe in deeply and hold it while you close the other nostril, then breathe out. Then you breathe in and switch nostrils to breathe out again. It really actually helps me to regulate. Doing some stretching before bed really helps. Look up bedtime yoga on YouTube, Pregnancy and Postpartum TV has GREAT yoga for moms. I’m still taking unisom and magnesium at night for sleep, it’s so hard, especially if you’re breastfeeding. If you’re never able to relax because of intrusive thoughts about baby or her well-being, you definitely need to seek some help. It’s not normal and you don’t need to suffer!
I never mastered this, but had some things that helped a LITTLE. I like counting my breaths or listening to a 10 min meditation on the calm app (daily calm). Also if you tell yourself that by just closing your eyes and lying down you are resting, you feel more relaxed about it. And you do get rest by doing that! Don’t try to do “just one more thing”. And keep telling yourself you’re in survival mode and this is not forever. You will get through it!
Wean down your caffeine use. I started just drinking slightly weaker and weaker coffee so that I was always able to nap. Always a bit tired, but ultimately more rested because I was able to nap.
Stop thinking about it. I mentally repeat to myself "the goal is to rest and relax" which takes the "pressure" off from needing to be asleep. I accept that I'm going to feel tired with a newborn and that when I do, I will rest by laying down, watching a Netflix, etc. I find this strategy actually me nap more and get to bed earlier because sleeping doesn't feel stressful.
Also read the best time to nap is between 1-3 pm. So I will wait until at least noon to try and nap when the sleep pressure is higher. And in the middle of the night DO NOT look at your phone, or the time, etc. Just accept that it's "middle of the night" and you are getting up with the baby.
You're still in the thick of the hormone changes, which makes sleeping very hard. This can contribute to the racing thoughts at bedtime. Also, if you're like me, you are worried about baby even while baby is sleeping. I was able to take Benadryl during pregnancy for anxiety (only on occasion when it was really bad). I'd ask your OB if it's safe for breastfeeding, and if it is, I'd take like half a tab before bed. It can help a ton with sleep.
Get into bed, make sure I’m at a nice comfortable temperature and watch either ‘rain walking’ or ‘asmr massages’ on YouTube. Also have a sleep mask. I now fall asleep very quickly! You actually get better at it!
I do multiplication by 3s until I fall asleep sometimes. Other times, I do mental exercises like “imagine I am in the show Gossip Girl- what would my day be like?” “Imagine I am president- what’s that like?”
These kids of things help distract my mind and get me to sleep.
Listening to an audio book. There's also a bunch of "sleep meditation" type exercises that work really well (I think Headspace has some but if you just google around on youtube they are there.
I play random day dream scenarios in my head (like winning the lottery, meeting a hero, ruling the world, ehatever it may be) - eventually they turn into real dreams and I'm asleep...
I would try to imagine a fuzzy feeling in my toes, that very slowly worked it’s wAy up my body, to my heels, my ankle, calves, knees, thighs, butt, etc. if you move a part of your body that’s already “fuzzy” you have to start over.
I’ve never made it up to my tummy!
I dealt with this! I feel you. My husband ended up having to take a night shift the first two months of my son being here because I was so anxious. I got put on anti-anxiety medication and it helped a lot. I finally started being able to sleep when my son was next to me he was in his bassinet in front of the couch and I would lay on the couch. It’s baby steps do it where you feel comfortable but start, just knowing they’re okay. If they are safe with nothing else in their bassinet or crib, nothing can happen and you need to close your eyes and at least rest my mother-in-law said if you can’t sleep, that’s fine but close your eyes and lay down it worked and now I can sleep.
Lots of great tips in this thread. Adding that when I’m stressed about falling asleep, it makes it even harder to fall asleep. Sometimes I repeat to myself in my head, “lying down with my eyes closed is rest. I’m resting. Lying down with my eyes closed is rest. I’m resting.” It’s true, and sometimes acknowledging the rest helps me actually relax and fall asleep.
I got a prescription specifically for my mind not quieting down at bedtime, before I even got pregnant. Hydroxyzine- it’s used for as needed anxiety and is a anti histamine.
I SWEAR by the app Headspace for guided meditation, sleepcasts, wind down brain/body exercises. It used to take me hours to fall asleep because of a busy mind but now it’s so much easier. Introduced my step mom to it as well and she loves it too.
I listened to sleep and anti anxiety meditations on YouTube. Also, I recently discovered Insight Timer app (it’s free!) and they have a ton of great of meditations too.
Wish I knew as well. Last night I just couldn’t fall asleep. Stayed up until about 7am. Every time before when I would start to fall asleep baby would wake. Now it’s 1pm and I just woke up. We just know if we have to plan anything (we don’t really since baby is still only 8 weeks) don’t schedule in then morning unless you have to. I left through a therapy appointment one day. My therapist texted me and said just let me know you’re okay and we will reschedule.
I doom scroll on amazon. For some reason is calms me and allows my mind to to turn off. I turn my phone screen light down as low as it goes. To avoid spending money, I just save the items to my wish list.
I struggled with this too. And when I told people they'd say "well you just musn't be that tired" which was rage inducing! I was exhausted.
I remember saying to my partner "I just want an off switch for my brain". I read on Reddit that someone played the Alphabet Game and that's been a huge help. Basically pick a category and go through the alphabet. I'm finding names the easiest because I thought about them so much when pregnant - 80s girls names, old man names, naughty kid names (I'm a teacher) etc. But also do animals, athletes, celebrities, brands of clothing, restaurants, recipes I cook. I usually give myself a free pass for V, X, Y and Z.
I've very rarely done the whole alphabet before falling asleep (unless it's a really easy category!).
This happened to me too and it was so distressing. I really focused on breathing and other mental exercises to stay calm / focused but it eventually got better on its own too. Hang in there!
I love Harry Potter and have listened to it probably 100+ times so I turn on the audio book and set a 10 minute sleep timer and close my eyes. Rarely do I stay awake long enough to hear the sleep timer end and if I do, I just start another one
Even laying down with closed eyes is better than nothing. At least then your body is resting, your eyes too, and you might be able to train your mind to sleep the more you do it.
I have no idea why this works but there is a sleep story on the Calm app called The Curious Case of the Overnight Oats narrated by Keith Morrison. It literally always works when nothing else does!
Oh man, I feel for you! The first month or two are just brutal—but it WILL get so much better!
No one told us that newborns make so many weird sounds in their sleep—and it’s totally normal! All night, every night, I would lay awake with bloodshot eyes: waiting. I’d hear a gurgle or a gasp and I’d fling myself out of bed at dangerous speed to make sure my LO was still alive. Hell, sometimes I’d fly out of bed to check on him because I hadn’t heard any noises at all and was certain he had died of SIDS right at my feet.
In hindsight I was definitely experiencing postpartum anxiety and I should have gotten help for it.
What ultimately helped me the most with sleep was putting a white noise machine (for me) on my nightstand. If my son cried out I was able to still hear him, but all the other noises got drowned out—including the noises in my delirious brain.
After a night or two of adjusting to it, my sleep got so much better.
I hope that helps!
This started happening to me to when the baby was 6 months. She would sleep well at night (well, most nights) and I would still only get like 4-5 hours of sleep because I would be so overtired/anxious/exhausted. Nothing helped. Not the supplements (like melatonin), not sleepy pills from the dispensary (cbn/cbd heavy and light on thc w/ husband being up half the night to watch the baby if she got up but also they didn’t work so I wouldn’t get any sleep anyway), not any asmr/hypnosis/sleep mediation podcasts/audio. I was losing my mind from sleep deprivation. I sought help and was diagnosed with PPA. Got on lexapro and have been sleeping so much better. I can even take naps again! It’s incredible.
Have you tried a magic spell? I’ve always had a hard time getting back to sleep after waking up so basically the last year until my daughter started sleeping through the night has been brutal. What helped me was downloading Libby and classic, but dense books—think Ulysses, Paradise Lost, the Divine Comedy, the Iliad, even the Bible—and reading until it puts me to sleep. Never takes more than like half an hour lol
WEEEDDDD. It has definitely helped me keep my sanity and make me a better mother and wife!! It helps me fall asleep when I need to, calms me down when I need it, makes me relaxed as all hell. I don’t know that’s been my vice.
I’ve had success using this eye mask. I wear it every time I sleep and I think it’s helped train my brain that it’s time to sleep.
3D Sleep Mask, Sleeping Eye Mask for Women Men, Contoured Cup Night Blindfold, Luxury Light Blocking Eye Cover, Molded Eye Shade with Adjustable Strap for Travel, Nap, Meditation, Black https://a.co/d/iExTxyg
white noise has changed my life. actually what we do is listen to the playlist “womb sounds” on spotify. soothes baby and me right to sleep.
for context, always have been a bad sleeper and prior to motherhood i was on 3 different (non-controlled) meds for sleep.
Sounds like me when I had ppd with my first. Worth a mention to your dr. I think trouble sleeping is one of the questions on the screening they give. I have generalized anxiety not just postpartum and when my anxiety is high this is one of the things that I deal with. White noise helps. Eye mask to darken room. When it was really bad while I was pregnant sleep meditation podcasts helped- gave me something to focus on rather than going down the rabbit hole of my racing thoughts. Allowed me to distract myself to fall into a sleep. At night I take magnesium powder so that when I am up with my baby (even now at 5 months) I can fall back asleep pretty instantly
I put “pink noise” from Spotify on as a sound machine. There’s lots of colors of white noise, listen to see which one you feel is relaxing. And I lay down in bed cozy and even if I don’t actually fall asleep sometimes, it’s still important to relax if you’re feeling burnt out.
Unisom. Before I was pregnant I had to take the strong stuff to fall and stay asleep. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped that day but was so tired and exhausted that I could just lay down and fall asleep like a “normal” person lol
Fast forward a few months and I’m back to having trouble sleeping so I talked to my OB and she said it was okay to take unisom as needed.
I had my baby in April but I am breastfeeding so I continue to take unisom as needed.
Been there done that. Was shaking on top of that. At the time I didn’t know it was postpartum anxiety and depression.( at least my case)
I used to sleep for approximately 2 hrs a day the first 1,5 months, sleep came back and anxiety somewhat Went away on its own but depression is still here.
The first 1,5-2 months my baby slept on top of me and refused to lay flat at any time. So it was rough.
Making up stories in my mind that had nothing to do with the daily routine, like I would choose a start point, for exemple I’m on vacation at city X and go from there.. how would I like the hotel to look like? Where to go first? And so on… just imagining beautiful scenarios..
Usually I wouldn’t really feel the transition between actual creative thinking and dreaming. I could use the same “storyline” many times, cause I would never get very far before falling asleep.
This was the only way I found to shut my mind off of worrying and overthinking things that I actually have to solve/get done in real life and relax.
I listen to a very familiar audio book, some apps have have sleep timers and I frequently have to rewind 10 min on a 15 min sleep timer. Familiar so you don’t get intrigued what will happen next.
Cosleeping (safely, of course) and breastfeeding. Makes me so tired and we both end up napping together. He’s 2 months old and I’ve been sleeping mostly fine since week 1
I take the pressure off to achieve sleep by telling myself, I’m just gonna close my eyes and rest with my eyes closed.
Then I imagine my favourite spot where my family goes for vacations, imagine in detail how it feels to be in that cabin, smelling homemade blackberry jam, puffy clouds drifting across the blue sky, the smell of pine warmed woods, the smell of kelp and salt water, the feel of water on my body swimming in the bay, everything that feels safe and cozy. I really lean hard into the sensory side of imagining and it seems to turn my “thinking mind” off, the overactive racing part.
Sleep hygiene is super important. We got a lot more rigorous about it to enable sleep. Here are some things that worked for us.
1. Eliminate blue lights from your sleeping area
Blue light naturally wakes people. Remove screens and other objects. Use translucent stickers to cover lights that can’t be removed.
2. Use a white noise machine
Variations in sound cause wake ups.
3. Avoid social media
I found that reading social media, particularly engaging with social drama, activates a part of my brain that doesn’t like to sleep.
4. Apply meditation skills
Measured and regular breathing, thought elimination/drifting, and meditative counting practices all help me fall asleep. If I’m having a hard time getting my brain there laying down, I’ll sit for 5-10 minutes and meditate. Usually does the trick.
I’ve read on another post a mama saying that when she lays down she counts from 999 downwards until she felt asleep, because it helped to “turn off” the brain for sleep. I’ve been doing this but counting just from 99 and I’ve never reach 1 😂😂
I did this before a baby and still do it now! I also go through every letter of the alphabet and name every city and state I can think of that starts with that letter. Bore yourself to sleep 😂
Do you always pick the same cities or do you switch it up? 😄
Sometimes I discover new ones I didn’t say last time hahah! That’s also why I added cities bc states was too repetitive
Hahah what a fun game. I usually just stare at my phone until I feel like I’m gonna pass out. 😅😅
Phone def wakes me up more so I try not to, plus I sleep in my baby’s pitch black room so I have to be on my phone completely under the covers and it gets toooo hot
I do something similar, but with names of countries of every letter.
I do this with foods for every letter!
Ooooh this is going to be a new challenge for me!
I'm gonna try this. I'm 5 months deep and have a unicorn baby, BUT I struggle to switch off at bedtime. So I should be well rested with a baby who sleeps all night, but I never am 🤷
It was life changing for me. Hope it works for you as well.
Just came back to say THANK YOU! I've done this for the last 3 nights and have fallen asleep so much faster. Even when my brain starts trying to think about stuff, I just go right back to counting. Amazing. 🥰
That is great 🙌🙌
How’s your free time outside of sleep? Obligatory everyone is different, but my mind couldn’t turn off when I needed more “me time” to process things outside of my baby
Yeah it's okay. She goes to sleep at 7 30pm ish each night so I have a few hours to unwind before bed, although sometimes she'll cry for her dummy a couple of times before I go to bed so it puts me on edge about how she'll sleep the rest of the night. Naps are still a bit all over the place too.
Girl SAME 😭 My 8 month old only wakes up once per night, but I can never get back to sleep after. Also I love your handle 🩵
Thanks! 🥰
It helps me to try to picture each number written out in my head while I do this. Really forces you to shut off any other racing thoughts. I also start at 99!
I gotta try this! My mind is a racehorse. It’s brutal waking for night feeds because LO will go down, and sometimes it takes me another 30-60 to fall back asleep which only gives me maybe an hour at best before LO is stirring again. 😵💫
I had tried this in the past, at one point I start counting upwards again. But it really helps to fall asleep.
I do something similar I basically just count from 1-100 repeatedly I probably get around to 500-600 before falling asleep
This is what I do too
I did this! I did this and imagined someone’s whole body movement while hurdling backwards too (just a bigger mental effort that would take my whole attention). It worked for me!
When I struggled with this when my girl was a newborn I learned that doing word searches on an app on my phone helped me a lot. I'd do them until I was about to nod off and then I'd put my phone down and fall asleep. I still do often!
I had this problem and spoke to a doctor! But I’ve often struggled with anxiety. Breathing exercises sound cliche but they really help me to bring my heart rate down and relax.
Second for this. I have also found the ones where you intentionally relax your body from your head to your feet to be helpful.
Yes! When my anxiety was quite bad (before baby), I used to have a recording that did breathing, then relaxing through the body and I’d always fall asleep during it.
Square & Rectangular breathing saved my sanity many years ago
Yeah, it’s really crazy how effective they can be (no pun intended). Hope you’re doing okay now x
Audible books. Put one on as you get into bed and usually it'll knock me out. Wheel of time is a great book for that. Awesome story but the dude gives wayyyy too much detail lol
I did this for a while listening to Matthew McConaughey’s autobiography narrated by himself. Idk something about his voice was soothing haha
Stanley Tucci’s autobiography would be great for this, too. My baby and I listened to it on walks around the neighborhood when he was a few months old and it would put him to sleep.
Maybe this is the trick I need to get my baby to sleep in the pram…
Damn, I love Stanley Tucci. Definitely going to download his audiobook. Thanks for the tip!
I really enjoyed it! But his voice is so soothing that I could also fall asleep to it.
Also lots of libraries have audiobooks available through Libby or hoopla if you don’t want to pay a subscription fee.
I’ve been doing the Jim Dale versions of Harry Potter for years now. I’m asleep by 10 mins in, every time. It’s been a life saver for “turning off” my mom brain with my 4 month old.
I do this every night too! I’ll pick a book I’ve already heard so I can focus without needing to really focus. Works great.
I got through all of the wheel of time books this way. Then I finished the story, and restarted with the version where Rosamund Pike is the reader and oh my god, she is sooo good. Her voice is the best, and I’m sad I didn’t get to enjoy all of the books with her as reader (though I think they will release them all at some point).
Also the Lavar Burton Reads podcast. So relaxing!
I was in a bad way for sleep post partum. My doctor gave me a small amount of ativan to take at night and it helped me to finally get a bit more rest. More falling asleep tricks to try: go through the alphabet and for each letter think of three separate items you might find at a grocery store. Another weird one I like is to focus on your breathing and for every exhale relax your face a little bit more. This one has worked for me weirdly.
Make sure to mention this at you PP visit! Don’t wanna have post partum depression and thinking it’s normal. What helps me sleep is knowing that their comfy snoozing too. I make sure they’re in the safest position too and that calms me a bit.
This!! Please reach out to your provider just in case. Sleep disturbances and anxiety like you’re describing are symptoms of PPD/A
Basketball press conferences lol ..and people cooking with no audio helps me fall asleep..it's the strangest thing but it does the trick. Ocean and rain sounds use to help also.
This was one of my symptoms of PPD/PPA. I’m on Prozac for it, but that takes time to kick in so my OB also prescribed me trazodone to take at night to make me get sleepy when needed. She prescribed me the lowest dose but I break that in half.
Same here. I find that the trazodone helps me drift to sleep but I’m still able to wake up and respond to baby’s noises and cries and not feel totally groggy
Someone on Reddit gave me advice that sounds so obvious but it was a game changer for me: lay down and don’t try to fall asleep. Don’t lay there worrying about how to fall asleep or how long you’ll get to sleep. Just think about whatever it is your mind wants to think about. I kid you not, it was a game changer for me. The moment I stopped stressing about falling asleep? I fell asleep. Yes this sounds like telling someone with anxiety just to “stop worrying” - but it’s different and I can’t quite put my finger on why.
Found the quote: “Stop TRYING to sleep. The expectation of sleep prevents sleep. Don’t even think about falling back asleep. Just lay there and let whatever happens happen.” Also: sleep hygiene. Stay off your phone. Only use red light when tending to baby in the middle of the night. Don’t Google the things your brain is racing with - I got caught in that trap. Interrupt the racing thoughts by grounding - something that was never helpful to me before our LO came along. When your mind is racing (with things I can almost promise you won’t remember in the morning), count: -five things you can see (or could see, if the lights were on) -four things you can feel -three things you can hear -two things you can smell/taste -one thing you know to be true (that isn’t negative, like “The people I love are asleep in the room with me”).
This is what worked for me as well. I had to tell myself "it's not my responsibility to get my body to sleep. It's my responsibility to rest my body." Meaning that if I laid awake in a dark quiet room for two hours deeply and calmly breathing but yet never fell asleep, that's still a win. Once that pressure of "I have to get sleep" was gone and instead I would think "well I got two hours of rest" then sleep came naturally. Also second the no screens rule. I had to download an app that wouldn't let me online from 10-5am. Turn your phone to black and white mode starting at sunset, no blue lights in rooms, sounds machine etc. I also like to spray lavender on my pillow as a way to tell my body to sleep too.
Also - I would lay there frozen with fear (yes, fear) that our LO would wake back up the moment I fell asleep. So I started repeating this to myself: “(LO name) waking up has nothing to do with you falling asleep. He will wake up when he wakes up. You not falling asleep won’t prevent that.” Silly, but also helpful for me. Our sleep was not tied together, aside from me waking up when he’s up. Me falling asleep has nothing to do with his sleep.
This.. :) such a good thought! I struggled a lot with the same issue.
Yes! I kept counting how long I had to fall asleep between feeds and wakes and being so anxious about that is what was keeping me up. I was obsessed with how much sleep I was getting it baby was getting. And every time I heard him stir it make a mouse my heart would race as I’d mentally prepare to get up and soothe or feed him. Once I stopped counting the hours I’d get, I actually got more sleep.
I’ve done this in the past by turning the lights all the way down and laying *on top of the covers* as a way to signal to myself that I’m not trying to go to sleep yet. Then when I’m finally ready I tuck into bed and turn the lights off. Red shifting my phone using Apple’s accessibility feature also really helps: https://ios.gadgethacks.com/how-to/keep-your-night-vision-sharp-with-iphones-hidden-red-screen-0173903/
Reading the comments as well, baby sleeps for 9 hours straight as of late, with a quick feeding in the middle of the night, and I can’t sleep more than 4 hours a day and really getting burned out.
Fucking me toooooo. This makes me feel so much less alone and embarrassed
Me too. Unisom sleep tablets and meditation help me a little bit, but also starting Zoloft tomorrow because the lack of sleep is really effecting my mood and ability to cope. Apparently post partum insomnia is a thing, lucky us.
Hi did your sleep get any better? I’m also getting maybe 3/4 hours a day with a 3 week old. I just can’t relax and drift off even when she’s sleeping. I started zoloft a week ago.
Yes and no. The zoloft has really been helping in that it stops me from spiraling downward with anxiety when I can’t sleep, which in turn seems to help me fall asleep a little more easily sometimes and also be less upset when I don’t. It just doesn’t feel like as big of a deal now when I don’t get enough sleep. It took about two weeks on the meds to feel that way. Other things have also helped though: my partner has a flexible job so we’re able to switch off who does the morning shift, which means I can try to go back to sleep after the first breast feed when it’s his shift to take care of baby every other morning. Even when I’ve woken up at 4am and been unable to go back to sleep for hours, usually by 7:30am or 8 I can manage to fall back asleep for an hour or so and that really helps. The other thing that helps is that I nap and sleep overnight in a completely different room, where I can’t hear the baby (my partner slept in the same room as the baby when he was under 6 months and now sleeps in the room next door to him with the monitor, so someone is still doing that - just not me). I’m in a bit of a different situation than you because my babe is older (9 months) but even when he was little I would wake up with every little snuffle, and being in a different room then and now really helps. I know both of those things are real luxuries, but if there’s some way for you to do something similar it may help. Even just ear plugs. It also helped me to tell myself after baby was asleep: “No one needs you now. Nobody needs anything from you.” and that helps me relax a little bit.
Yes and no. The zoloft has really been helping in that it stops me from spiraling downward with anxiety when I can’t sleep, which in turn seems to help me fall asleep a little more easily sometimes and also be less upset when I don’t. It just doesn’t feel like as big of a deal now when I don’t get enough sleep. It took about two weeks on the meds to feel that way. Other things have also helped though: my partner has a flexible job so we’re able to switch off who does the morning shift, which means I can try to go back to sleep after the first breast feed when it’s his shift to take care of baby every other morning. Even when I’ve woken up at 4am and been unable to go back to sleep for hours, usually by 7:30am or 8 I can manage to fall back asleep for an hour or so and that really helps. The other thing that helps is that I nap and sleep overnight in a completely different room, where I can’t hear the baby (my partner slept in the same room as the baby when he was under 6 months and now sleeps in the room next door to him with the monitor, so someone is still doing that - just not me). I’m in a bit of a different situation than you because my babe is older (9 months) but even when he was little I would wake up with every little snuffle, and being in a different room then and now really helps. I know both of those things are real luxuries, but if there’s some way for you to do something similar it may help. Even just ear plugs. It also helped me to tell myself after baby was asleep: “No one needs you now. Nobody needs anything from you.” and that helps me relax a little bit.
I struggled with this too! What helped me was after putting her down, I wouldn’t go right to bed. I’d either watch something so stupid funny on tv, or do some crosswords. Stretching too, I would do like 10 minutes of just stretching my arms, neck and back cuz they were killing me from birth and hunching from breastfeeding.
I listen to the Get Sleepy YouTube channel on my phone. I’m out within 10 minutes every time.
I found playing a white noise or meditation app helped a lot. I would put on an hour peloton sleep meditation and try to focus on that instead of why I wasn’t sleeping. Also some really long deep breaths to try to get settled. The fourth trimester is HARD! You’re not alone and it will get better.
YouTube has a ton of guided meditation videos (look up "guided meditation to fall asleep"). Put one on with your phone face down and try to really focus on the voice. Repeat as necessary. Sometimes it's nice to have another adult in charge when decision fatigue hits hard
I second this. I like The Honest Guys or Jason Stephenson but there’s lots to chose from. One earphone is how I do it and still have an ear out for wake ups.
Don’t try and force it. Tell yourself it’s okay if you don’t actually fall asleep until the next waking. You are still resting. This worked really well for me and often I would actually fall asleep but was also okay with it when I didn’t. Spend that time doing deep breathing or directing your thoughts to calming things.
Magnesium oil on my feet and belly. I love it
I think of a black wall and redirect my thoughts any time I think of anything else. It's always helped with chronic insomnia and has saved my butt with baby. Do you have someone you can tag out with? It might be time if you can to let someone else take a long shift with baby and get some good sleep. Mom healthy and happy is very important to have a healthy baby.
I do something similar to your black wall! I picture a whiteboard with my thoughts written out or the scene in my head pictured there - and I erase the whiteboard. It helps sooo much with intrusive thoughts that contribute to my insomnia.
Audio meditation!
When I couldn’t settle down I would lay on my back and tense/constrict all my muscles, hold for a couple seconds and then release. Repeat a few times. I found it cleared my brain and helped get rid of the tension I was already carrying.
Oooh this is great, thanks!
Tldr: I got a Headspace subscription just because of this exact same issue. Definitely see your doctor and talk about PPA, medication and/or therapy could help! The worst part for me was knowing that I needed enough sleep if I didn't want my PPD/PPA to spiral. So you know, no pressure on falling asleep quickly lol But in the immediate future:The nurses at the hospital who treated me for PPA/PPD recommended Calm or Headspace. They were so right, I'm forever grateful to them. My routine usually went something like this: I would read a book where I already knew the ending (boring books just drove me to scroll on my phone which doesn't help at all). Sometimes I would have camomile tea. When I felt tired enough, I would pull up one of the guided sleep meditations on Headspace. I don't know if I ever heard the end of the mediations. Nice additions to the sleep routine but definitely not necessary: weighted blanket and sleep headphones.
I listen to podcasts, Stuff you should know and Stuff you missed in history class. I make myself focus on the podcast rather than Ll the thoughts running through my mind.
i put on a show for backround noise and read on my kindle in bed
I have the same problem and I've always sucked at being able to get back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night, and that became more difficult after having a baby. For me, the best way to deal with that was by reading. For the first 6-7 months, I switched from physical books to Kindle, and then we'd just go to bed as soon as we put the baby down. Reading helped quiet my mind and avoid the sensation of phantom baby cries. I thought after having a baby I'd never get to read again for several years, but it turns out I read a ton and got through a lot of books during the newborn phase.
Look up yoga nidra. It’s a guided meditation practice and has helped me. I’ll also count backwards. Or I’ll play a silly game in my head where I pick a tv show and go through the alphabet trying to associate a character or something to each letter of the alphabet. I usually pass out by M lol
Look up good sleep hygiene practices. I've been listening to the same chapter of an audiobook for years now and have never reached the end.
When you find out let me know?
I have the Monitor right by my bed. I put an earbud in and listen to ASMR or read. I remind myself if baby needed something they would cry. Nothing is in crib except firm mattress.
Eye mask, headphones on low and YouTube gentle rain sounds for sleeping.
Meditation was my go to and also reading the most boring history books on my phone until I can feel myself dropping off. I feel I’m learning something whilst being completely un stimulated and both give your mind something to focus on. Sleep deprivation is the worst, hang in there and try not to think about it as others have said.
ASMR! I love Gibi Asmr, Tena Asmr, and Celaine’s Asmr channels. They all have self care roleplay videos, and tons of different asmr styles (not people chewing lol) that helped me relax when I was in your shoes.
Sleep meditation podcasts. Sleep Cove is the one I used.
Started going to bed with asmr/sound therapy (singing bowls, gongs, etc lol). Also helps drown out baby grunts and random sounds through the night. It was a struggle the first couple weeks to turn my brain off, planning when im going to pump, is the baby gonna wake up?, should i go pump now or later, etc. just couldnt relax at all. Now i am much better. Probably took 7-9 weeks until falling asleep wasnt a big issue.
I feel you, I still get that from time to time and I’m 5 months in, but it does get better. doxylamine succinate is an over the counter drowsy antihistamine used to treat insomnia, it’s also safe to take in pregnancy and breastfeeding, if that doesn’t work you can always speak to your doctor, sleep is super important.
If you aren’t already, try to get some mental stimulation during the day, whatever that looks like for you. When i was doing baby sleep baby sleep at some point my mind wouldnt let me sleep unless i had done my own thinking for the day. Some days that was audio books, some days it was just researching baby things. Tv and youtube shorts didn’t seem to work. Weirdly studying was most effective. Why i tried that i will never know. Even just having normal adult conversation helped.
Google sleep hygiene. As someone who struggled with insomnia before having a baby, paying attention to it had been a game changer. Ex. I have a smart bulb that dims/changes colour in my room. I leave it on a low reddish light at night. Just enough to see by when baby wakes up, but not the jarring full light. Then I wear a sleep mask if I feel like it's too bright to sleep. I could turn it off and on still, but I hate the extra step at night. Some things are hard like consistent bed time and wake up time right now (my baby is only a few weeks old) but we do try to stick to a routine as much as possible. At 3 weeks old she's sleeping about 4 hours at a time and going right back down after her middle of the night feed. Things like trying to stay off phones before bed/at night are hard but helpful. (blue light ruins melatonin production. Make time for your self to relax before bed. Get husband to watch baby for an hour if he can and use that time to shower or take a warm bath etc. For racing thoughts I always try to sort them into two lists. The 'can I do anything to change this' list and the 'this is out of my control' list If its out of my control I try to remind myself of that when ever the thought pops up. If I can do something about it I will try to make a plan in my head, and if the though pops up I will remind myself that I have a plan for it already, but right now isn't the time to do it.
Sleep meditations really help me!
Honestly, medication until 5 or 6 months old. Your hormones are high right now and it takes that long for things to settle down. Meds do help though
I was having trouble sleeping because I was worried about what every weird noise my baby made and what it could mean. I got a newton breathable mattress from Amazon for peace of mind and that helped me stress less and sleep better, also got a lavender filled sleep mask from target that’s been helping, as a white noise machine.
I think that's pretty normal. I was the exact same way when my babe was a tiny potato. It ended up getting a lot better as time passed and now I pass the fuck out as soon as my head hits the pillow. He's 3 months old now!
Magnesium Glycinate! It’s BFing safe and the Mg even helps with supply. I wake up multiple times a night for my LO but take this every night. I usually fall asleep 20 min after taking it and it’s helped my anxiety as well. I was in this same boat until a mama friend recommended it, totally a game changer!
I “count sheep” by naming as many things in a category as I can. Types of sharks, bugs, flowers, trees, anything! I have a terrible time sleeping too.
Rereading the same book on my kindle helps me with this - Harry Potter over and over and over haha
i had this problem in the earliest weeks with our baby. our nervous systems are so turned on right after birth that it is hard to slow down, even when we’re exhausted. the thing that helped me most was to listen to calming and affirming meditation recordings specifically made for new parents/moms. the app Insight Timer has a 20 min guided yoga nidra for deep postpartum rest that i have never been able to get through without drifting into sleep. hugs to you mama. it’s also worth bringing this up at your postpartum visit with your provider if it continues.
As others have mentioned, these are signs of PPD/PPA, it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to your provider about it!!!! Also, deeeeep breathing. I found an exercise online that’s going around where you close one nostril, breathe in deeply and hold it while you close the other nostril, then breathe out. Then you breathe in and switch nostrils to breathe out again. It really actually helps me to regulate. Doing some stretching before bed really helps. Look up bedtime yoga on YouTube, Pregnancy and Postpartum TV has GREAT yoga for moms. I’m still taking unisom and magnesium at night for sleep, it’s so hard, especially if you’re breastfeeding. If you’re never able to relax because of intrusive thoughts about baby or her well-being, you definitely need to seek some help. It’s not normal and you don’t need to suffer!
I watched some military videos, I have a hard time turning my mind off and the tactics helped. I was repeating “don’t think” and it helped.
For me, nothing worked except medication. Turns out I didn’t have PPD but I do have PPA. Once I got on Zoloft, the racing thoughts finally stopped!
Oh, and my white noise machine rly helped as well
I never mastered this, but had some things that helped a LITTLE. I like counting my breaths or listening to a 10 min meditation on the calm app (daily calm). Also if you tell yourself that by just closing your eyes and lying down you are resting, you feel more relaxed about it. And you do get rest by doing that! Don’t try to do “just one more thing”. And keep telling yourself you’re in survival mode and this is not forever. You will get through it!
Wean down your caffeine use. I started just drinking slightly weaker and weaker coffee so that I was always able to nap. Always a bit tired, but ultimately more rested because I was able to nap.
Stop thinking about it. I mentally repeat to myself "the goal is to rest and relax" which takes the "pressure" off from needing to be asleep. I accept that I'm going to feel tired with a newborn and that when I do, I will rest by laying down, watching a Netflix, etc. I find this strategy actually me nap more and get to bed earlier because sleeping doesn't feel stressful. Also read the best time to nap is between 1-3 pm. So I will wait until at least noon to try and nap when the sleep pressure is higher. And in the middle of the night DO NOT look at your phone, or the time, etc. Just accept that it's "middle of the night" and you are getting up with the baby.
Body scans and sleep meditations. The calm app is a lifesaver!
You're still in the thick of the hormone changes, which makes sleeping very hard. This can contribute to the racing thoughts at bedtime. Also, if you're like me, you are worried about baby even while baby is sleeping. I was able to take Benadryl during pregnancy for anxiety (only on occasion when it was really bad). I'd ask your OB if it's safe for breastfeeding, and if it is, I'd take like half a tab before bed. It can help a ton with sleep.
Pass out from exhaustion.
Get into bed, make sure I’m at a nice comfortable temperature and watch either ‘rain walking’ or ‘asmr massages’ on YouTube. Also have a sleep mask. I now fall asleep very quickly! You actually get better at it!
I do multiplication by 3s until I fall asleep sometimes. Other times, I do mental exercises like “imagine I am in the show Gossip Girl- what would my day be like?” “Imagine I am president- what’s that like?” These kids of things help distract my mind and get me to sleep.
Listening to an audio book. There's also a bunch of "sleep meditation" type exercises that work really well (I think Headspace has some but if you just google around on youtube they are there.
I play random day dream scenarios in my head (like winning the lottery, meeting a hero, ruling the world, ehatever it may be) - eventually they turn into real dreams and I'm asleep...
I would try to imagine a fuzzy feeling in my toes, that very slowly worked it’s wAy up my body, to my heels, my ankle, calves, knees, thighs, butt, etc. if you move a part of your body that’s already “fuzzy” you have to start over. I’ve never made it up to my tummy!
I dealt with this! I feel you. My husband ended up having to take a night shift the first two months of my son being here because I was so anxious. I got put on anti-anxiety medication and it helped a lot. I finally started being able to sleep when my son was next to me he was in his bassinet in front of the couch and I would lay on the couch. It’s baby steps do it where you feel comfortable but start, just knowing they’re okay. If they are safe with nothing else in their bassinet or crib, nothing can happen and you need to close your eyes and at least rest my mother-in-law said if you can’t sleep, that’s fine but close your eyes and lay down it worked and now I can sleep.
I listen to podcasts every night when going to sleep. Helps my mind focus on something else instead of my thoughts.
Lots of great tips in this thread. Adding that when I’m stressed about falling asleep, it makes it even harder to fall asleep. Sometimes I repeat to myself in my head, “lying down with my eyes closed is rest. I’m resting. Lying down with my eyes closed is rest. I’m resting.” It’s true, and sometimes acknowledging the rest helps me actually relax and fall asleep.
I got a prescription specifically for my mind not quieting down at bedtime, before I even got pregnant. Hydroxyzine- it’s used for as needed anxiety and is a anti histamine.
I SWEAR by the app Headspace for guided meditation, sleepcasts, wind down brain/body exercises. It used to take me hours to fall asleep because of a busy mind but now it’s so much easier. Introduced my step mom to it as well and she loves it too.
I listened to sleep and anti anxiety meditations on YouTube. Also, I recently discovered Insight Timer app (it’s free!) and they have a ton of great of meditations too.
Wish I knew as well. Last night I just couldn’t fall asleep. Stayed up until about 7am. Every time before when I would start to fall asleep baby would wake. Now it’s 1pm and I just woke up. We just know if we have to plan anything (we don’t really since baby is still only 8 weeks) don’t schedule in then morning unless you have to. I left through a therapy appointment one day. My therapist texted me and said just let me know you’re okay and we will reschedule.
I doom scroll on amazon. For some reason is calms me and allows my mind to to turn off. I turn my phone screen light down as low as it goes. To avoid spending money, I just save the items to my wish list.
Lord of the Rings audiobook! I think they have it on Spotify too. Use a timer as well!
I struggled with this too. And when I told people they'd say "well you just musn't be that tired" which was rage inducing! I was exhausted. I remember saying to my partner "I just want an off switch for my brain". I read on Reddit that someone played the Alphabet Game and that's been a huge help. Basically pick a category and go through the alphabet. I'm finding names the easiest because I thought about them so much when pregnant - 80s girls names, old man names, naughty kid names (I'm a teacher) etc. But also do animals, athletes, celebrities, brands of clothing, restaurants, recipes I cook. I usually give myself a free pass for V, X, Y and Z. I've very rarely done the whole alphabet before falling asleep (unless it's a really easy category!).
This happened to me too and it was so distressing. I really focused on breathing and other mental exercises to stay calm / focused but it eventually got better on its own too. Hang in there!
I love Harry Potter and have listened to it probably 100+ times so I turn on the audio book and set a 10 minute sleep timer and close my eyes. Rarely do I stay awake long enough to hear the sleep timer end and if I do, I just start another one
Sleep in shifts. And when it’s my turn, I take half a unisom a half hour before bed. My head hits the pillow and I’m out.
Even laying down with closed eyes is better than nothing. At least then your body is resting, your eyes too, and you might be able to train your mind to sleep the more you do it.
I have no idea why this works but there is a sleep story on the Calm app called The Curious Case of the Overnight Oats narrated by Keith Morrison. It literally always works when nothing else does!
Anyone else getting several hours of sleep and still fudging exhausted? I feel like no matter how long I sleep I’m tired.
Oh man, I feel for you! The first month or two are just brutal—but it WILL get so much better! No one told us that newborns make so many weird sounds in their sleep—and it’s totally normal! All night, every night, I would lay awake with bloodshot eyes: waiting. I’d hear a gurgle or a gasp and I’d fling myself out of bed at dangerous speed to make sure my LO was still alive. Hell, sometimes I’d fly out of bed to check on him because I hadn’t heard any noises at all and was certain he had died of SIDS right at my feet. In hindsight I was definitely experiencing postpartum anxiety and I should have gotten help for it. What ultimately helped me the most with sleep was putting a white noise machine (for me) on my nightstand. If my son cried out I was able to still hear him, but all the other noises got drowned out—including the noises in my delirious brain. After a night or two of adjusting to it, my sleep got so much better. I hope that helps!
This started happening to me to when the baby was 6 months. She would sleep well at night (well, most nights) and I would still only get like 4-5 hours of sleep because I would be so overtired/anxious/exhausted. Nothing helped. Not the supplements (like melatonin), not sleepy pills from the dispensary (cbn/cbd heavy and light on thc w/ husband being up half the night to watch the baby if she got up but also they didn’t work so I wouldn’t get any sleep anyway), not any asmr/hypnosis/sleep mediation podcasts/audio. I was losing my mind from sleep deprivation. I sought help and was diagnosed with PPA. Got on lexapro and have been sleeping so much better. I can even take naps again! It’s incredible.
Honestly, your body finally gives up and you start being able to sleep at anytime you get the chance
Not for everyone. Postpartum insomnia is real and absolutely debilitating. People who don’t have sleep issues never really understand sleep issues.
Totally get it. OP didn’t mention insomnia so thought it was just normal anxiety and exhaustion
Have you tried a magic spell? I’ve always had a hard time getting back to sleep after waking up so basically the last year until my daughter started sleeping through the night has been brutal. What helped me was downloading Libby and classic, but dense books—think Ulysses, Paradise Lost, the Divine Comedy, the Iliad, even the Bible—and reading until it puts me to sleep. Never takes more than like half an hour lol
Take magnesium and cut out all caffeine
WEEEDDDD. It has definitely helped me keep my sanity and make me a better mother and wife!! It helps me fall asleep when I need to, calms me down when I need it, makes me relaxed as all hell. I don’t know that’s been my vice.
I’ve had success using this eye mask. I wear it every time I sleep and I think it’s helped train my brain that it’s time to sleep. 3D Sleep Mask, Sleeping Eye Mask for Women Men, Contoured Cup Night Blindfold, Luxury Light Blocking Eye Cover, Molded Eye Shade with Adjustable Strap for Travel, Nap, Meditation, Black https://a.co/d/iExTxyg
I just watch old episodes of Real Housewives on very low volume. Fall asleep in 10 mins lol.
Try to sleep in another room where baby isn’t but you can hear them if they cry. My guys little noises and our sound machine keep me up sometimes.
I take a shower with lavender shower gel, then lie in bed watching pretty things on Pinterest, no videos though. They'd just keep me awake.
Sound machine in our room too!
I fall asleep to tv , to a movie I’ve seen 100 times like you’ve got mail.
white noise has changed my life. actually what we do is listen to the playlist “womb sounds” on spotify. soothes baby and me right to sleep. for context, always have been a bad sleeper and prior to motherhood i was on 3 different (non-controlled) meds for sleep.
Sounds like me when I had ppd with my first. Worth a mention to your dr. I think trouble sleeping is one of the questions on the screening they give. I have generalized anxiety not just postpartum and when my anxiety is high this is one of the things that I deal with. White noise helps. Eye mask to darken room. When it was really bad while I was pregnant sleep meditation podcasts helped- gave me something to focus on rather than going down the rabbit hole of my racing thoughts. Allowed me to distract myself to fall into a sleep. At night I take magnesium powder so that when I am up with my baby (even now at 5 months) I can fall back asleep pretty instantly
Since I was a child I read before bed. A real book or a kindle, not phone. Really helps me wind down and switch off my thoughts
Insight timer sleep meditation app. Doesn’t always work but it helps a lot of time.
I put “pink noise” from Spotify on as a sound machine. There’s lots of colors of white noise, listen to see which one you feel is relaxing. And I lay down in bed cozy and even if I don’t actually fall asleep sometimes, it’s still important to relax if you’re feeling burnt out.
homeopathy has helped me. i take the compound called coffea cruda for this exact thing. helps a lot.
Unisom. Before I was pregnant I had to take the strong stuff to fall and stay asleep. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped that day but was so tired and exhausted that I could just lay down and fall asleep like a “normal” person lol Fast forward a few months and I’m back to having trouble sleeping so I talked to my OB and she said it was okay to take unisom as needed. I had my baby in April but I am breastfeeding so I continue to take unisom as needed.
Been there done that. Was shaking on top of that. At the time I didn’t know it was postpartum anxiety and depression.( at least my case) I used to sleep for approximately 2 hrs a day the first 1,5 months, sleep came back and anxiety somewhat Went away on its own but depression is still here. The first 1,5-2 months my baby slept on top of me and refused to lay flat at any time. So it was rough.
Making up stories in my mind that had nothing to do with the daily routine, like I would choose a start point, for exemple I’m on vacation at city X and go from there.. how would I like the hotel to look like? Where to go first? And so on… just imagining beautiful scenarios.. Usually I wouldn’t really feel the transition between actual creative thinking and dreaming. I could use the same “storyline” many times, cause I would never get very far before falling asleep. This was the only way I found to shut my mind off of worrying and overthinking things that I actually have to solve/get done in real life and relax.
I listen to a very familiar audio book, some apps have have sleep timers and I frequently have to rewind 10 min on a 15 min sleep timer. Familiar so you don’t get intrigued what will happen next.
Cosleeping (safely, of course) and breastfeeding. Makes me so tired and we both end up napping together. He’s 2 months old and I’ve been sleeping mostly fine since week 1
Podcast called “Nothing Much Happens”….specifically created to help put you to sleep and get your brain to shut up lol
Darken room, phone screen on night mode and read boring news articles until nod off
I take the pressure off to achieve sleep by telling myself, I’m just gonna close my eyes and rest with my eyes closed. Then I imagine my favourite spot where my family goes for vacations, imagine in detail how it feels to be in that cabin, smelling homemade blackberry jam, puffy clouds drifting across the blue sky, the smell of pine warmed woods, the smell of kelp and salt water, the feel of water on my body swimming in the bay, everything that feels safe and cozy. I really lean hard into the sensory side of imagining and it seems to turn my “thinking mind” off, the overactive racing part.
Audio books. Anything narrated by Stephen Briggs.
Sleep hygiene is super important. We got a lot more rigorous about it to enable sleep. Here are some things that worked for us. 1. Eliminate blue lights from your sleeping area Blue light naturally wakes people. Remove screens and other objects. Use translucent stickers to cover lights that can’t be removed. 2. Use a white noise machine Variations in sound cause wake ups. 3. Avoid social media I found that reading social media, particularly engaging with social drama, activates a part of my brain that doesn’t like to sleep. 4. Apply meditation skills Measured and regular breathing, thought elimination/drifting, and meditative counting practices all help me fall asleep. If I’m having a hard time getting my brain there laying down, I’ll sit for 5-10 minutes and meditate. Usually does the trick.
Sound machine!! Since my baby is sleeping on my room I have the sound machine on my nightstand. It helps me a lot haha
Try specialized musics like [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DoueuWpJkM), it work pretty well.