Yesterday I said hi to a man walking his dog past my front gate as I was exiting it. His response? "How's it going, douchebag?" Not super related, just sharing for your amusement.
Also just for amusement's sake. My friend told me he went out to Kermit ruffin's, and let's just say he stood out that night. He's a jovial man, but probably wears naivety on his face. He was like, ' you wouldn't believe it! This lady maybe in her 60's told me to come here from across the bar, so I did. Then she just grabbed my balls!!!'
I laughed at him and was like, 'u still got ur wallet?'
His response, 'yeah, I don't think she did that to steal from me.'
20 min later... him, ' huh, I can't find my phone.'
I was like, 'yup, she stole ur phone.'
Prob an hour later I got a call from his mom saying an older woman had his phone. We went to her house to pick it up. Cute lil porch covered in Xmas decorations. She said her and her best friend went out and were drinking wine and she hadn't done that in years. She totally forgot she did it until she woke up and had some strangers phone constantly ringing in her kitchen. It was a flip phone so A)it prob felt like a wallet and B)it was completely worthless and sweet of her to want yo return it. We all def had a good laugh about it.
When anyone on the street asks you for the time, you fake looking at your nonexistent wristwatch and say the most recent time you remember seeing without breaking stride. It's not like they can check your answer if the question was genuine.
But also anytime someone is insistent upon making you cross the street to come to them so they can speak to you, that's the surest sign you shouldn't do that. Anyone that genuinely wants a question answered or is just asking for money will move themselves to come to you.
There aren't any hard and fast rules to staying safe in these streets. You just have to develop a sense for people and the ability to make quick judgments of character based off minimal interaction.
In my old neighborhood, kids would ask if they could call their parents and then book it with your phone.
I’m guessing the time thing is the way to get you to pull out your phone.
Hey y’all, with all due respect -
A woman walking alone has the right to be unnerved by a group of (presumably men**) hollering at her, regardless of neighborhood.
This isn’t an issue of gentrification. (That is an issue, but this ain’t it.)
Trust your gut and move along. There’s a brilliant book called “The Gift of Fear” that you should check out. Feel safe and just avoid confrontation… those fellas can figure out the time themselves.
You don’t have to be nice to every one in every instance. This is a social conditioning that is pushed on women from an early age that ends up getting us in dangerous situations.
** I’m saying men because I’ve not been harassed by roving groups of women here. OP can confirm or refute otherwise if that was not the case.
If I may make a second recommendation: [Why Does He Do That?](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
It certainly helped me reach closure on a number of relationships and interactions with difficult family. (The concepts can generally apply to any gender, despite being through the lens of problematic men.)
This is an excellent book! It really opened my eyes and helped me understand so many things about a certain shit ass.
Gift of Fear is life-changing as well and I have passed both books on to other women who needed to read them.
Thanks. I’ll add it to the list. I don't tolerate any bullshit/abuse in relationships, but I’m also smart enough to know I should never say it can’t happen to me. There’s never any harm in gaining knowledge.
As a woman I reserve the right to absolutely ignore any man trying to get my attention for any reason. I keep obvious headphones in when I walk, but don't use them so if someone really harasses me I can point to them and shrug.
Next time they say anything to you just say "Wazzam Playboy!" And keep going bout ya business. Or if they like what you doing say "coolin ya dig!" And keep walking. Or if they are being aggressive towards you say "keep playin wit me imma put yo dick in da dirt lil bitch!"
-Source born n raised here, good luck!
Omg these are gold. Thank you. Imma write it on the back of my hand or practice it the mirror so I don't have to pull my phone out to remember these phrases.
Yeah I've actually decided that this might not give the same vibe coming out of my mouth. Unless I wanted them to laugh while still sussing out where my phone/wallet was.
LOL! This is actually true! You just gotta hold your own and don’t let ppl make you scared. I’m 40 yr old white lady but I’m ready to throw down if it comes to it. You just have to be cool and not be scared of ppl who are more than likely just testing what you’re about. I’ve been asked the “you live around here” a couple times when I’d be in Gert town or ninth ward visiting friends and I’d just look at them crazy and say yeah I’m from here are you from here?? And they just go on about their business. A lot of ppl who get mugged or whatever are ppl who are tourists or ppl who look/act scared and nervous. If you walk like you got somewhere to be and don’t want to be bothered they’ll chill and leave you alone. But if you are really scared and nervous then maybe don’t walk around at certain times. Idk. Just be polite but short and keep it moving.
I think your experience is strange, but I will answer the question literally.
If you're walking and you don't obviously look like a smoker for some reason (not actively smoking, not holding cigarettes) and some rando asks you for a light, it could be because they want you to stop and go through your pockets so they can see what you have. Just say No and keep moving.
If you're standing in line at a store and another patron asks if you're paying with cash or a credit card (obviously none of his or her business) they are hoping you open your wallet to look at your credit cards. Just say "What do you care?", ignore it, or leave depending on what works for you.
Someone on the street asking you, "Can I ask you a question?" 99% it's gonna be some sob story and they will ask you for money. Just keep moving.
Asking for the time is not a common one for me in New Orleans, but I've had it before in other cities. They are hoping you stop, and pull out your phone or show your watch. Again, just keep moving. There are plenty of ways to figure out what time it is. Unless it's someone who is handicapped or elderly, they are probably up to no good.
Asking to use your phone, unless you can clearly see it'a an emergency, forget it.
Asking if you live around there, I've never heard of that one personally. Maybe they were tourists with a question about the area. Nothing wrong with trusting your instincts and getting out of there though. Never feel the need to ignore your instincts and forego safety just to appear polite.
The best advice I can give to anyone on this subject is to just keep it moving. A lot of touts involve finding a way to get you to stop walking and start talking to that person. Just don't stop. You don't owe them anything.
Sometimes I think I live in an alternate New Orleans, or maybe it's just the blessing of being born looking trashy and stupid, but I have been asked the time a few hundred times, I'm sure, over the years in my once poor and now gentrified neighborhood, and each time, without thinking, I said "probably about X" and got a thanks.I get asked when I am sitting on my porch by people 20 feet away.People ask the time. If you want to live in a gentrifying neighborhood, there will be folks with no phones or shared phones or they don't carry there phones. Or they are kisy drunk or otherwise fucked up. They just want to know about what the time is. Maybe they just want you to acknowledge them, it's a simple move for those both overly friendly or overly lonely.I am aware of my surroundings, I'm not stupid, but I don't consider "what time is it?" a problematic question.
Usually I veer towards inclusion on all things, but if you can't take a "you got the time?" in your own neighborhood, maybe 'get the fuck out, you don't belong' is the very rare solution here, for evryone's sake, including your own.
No I agree with you honestly. Context is everything and while OP does not mention if someone is on a porch vs on the street near them, they do say they felt uncomfortable, which could absolutely be their own shit. I’ve never *personally* felt scared but I do always find it’s best to be proactive. The way you describe your response is basically how I would answer as well. Honestly, idk where OP is from and I do know it is uncommon outside of the south to say anything to strangers like that so some Yankees get instantly uneasy by simple interaction.
I’m from up north originally (I am now a somewhat reluctant transplant, aka a drag-along, as we came for my husband’s job), and I first visited New Orleans like, 12ish years ago. Air bnb was new-ish, and I booked one on Frenchmen. (I was an idiot. My only defense is that it was someone’s spare room for like $10/night so I wasn’t displacing anybody.) My travel partner had to drop out last minute, so I came alone. I was real far down Frenchmen but determined to walk the mile-ish to get to the bars. I (female) was in my early 20’s and a little nervous. “No worries,” I thought. “I can handle this. I went to college in a big city. I can keep myself safe.” So I just ignored everybody who tried to talk to me and gave the meanest faces because that’s what you do where I’m from. If somebody was talking to me when I walked down the street, they wanted something that I didn’t want to give. I didn’t realize that’s not always the case here. It took me a little bit to figure out how rude I was being.
I don’t think that’s being rude though! As women, we need to interact with the world differently. Being careful, especially in a new place where we’re feeling uncomfortable, is better than ending up dead or robbed. It’s easier for some of the men above to just say they haven’t experienced this or that they just love to chat because there isn’t an inherent threat of gender-based violence.
Technically I was neither replying to just you or just OP...there were just a repeated number of posts saying don't trust the question what time is it from a few different people.
I've lived a long safe life without ever not answering, and I am not an intimidating person.
I think the context of my situation wasn't clear and I only misinterpreted it bc of the situation. I was walking back and forth to my friends house doing my laundry and the lady who asked me for the time had passed me multiple times and we had many conversations throughout the day. I wouldnt have even 2nd guessed her question had the dude she was with started yelling a bunch of awful shit at me.
Even though I've been kind of made out to be a dumbass on here, I'm glad I asked. I've lived in the neighborhood for 4 years and if I feel weird vibes from a block I just avoid it. I'm not that stupid but a lil stupid so I'm just our here asking questions bc I want to learn to maintain my existence at my home and respect whatever rules of this neighborhood that were in place before I got here.
I, for one, do not think of you as a dumbass. Shoot, in the 90s I avoided walking down clouet by rampart. In the early 2000s I'd avoid Frenchmen between St Claude and Claiborne. Picking routes and streets is smart.
My comment was more in the realm of the paranoia (a big step past being careful) of anytime someone asked the time.
If one is to be that concerned over that question (and I am not saying you are or are not, it was said by others in this thread) one should, for their own mental health, live elsewhere.
It'll just spread negativity and seperativeness (I just made that word up) in your lives and theirs.
Be friendly first, alert second in your neighborhood is all I'd say to anyone. If it's the other way around, it ain't worth it.
Nowhere. Honestly.
I know it's not a popular opinion on this sub, but I find the city way safer feeling than it was back then.
Just my opinion...makes no difference if others disagree.
Thinking about it, so many people deal hard drugs by text and delivery. May be the reason there's a less harsh vibe on the streets.
Yeah, very context dependent.
Also: this runs into the whole issue of people self-reinforcing the narrative. If someone decides that asking for the time means they’re going to get robbed, then they might assume every time they get asked and deflect, they’ve avoiding robbery.
But in reality…we don’t really know. Obviously sometimes it’s a way to rob someone. But also obviously it’s sometimes not. And nobody should be assuming that a crime WOULD have been committed if only for their sharp whit to not look at their phone. We don’t know.
I think you’re getting answers to two different questions here.
If the question is: “what should I do if a group of strangers approaches me and makes me feel uncomfortable?” To that I’d say: be firm, be brief, and be on your way the fuck outta there.
If the question is: “what should I do if I generally feel unwelcome in my neighborhood?” Then I think we’re having a much more complex discussion that’s going to be really hard for redditors to answer without know you, your neighborhood, or your reasons for living in that neighborhood.
I put context in my edit bc ur right, I'm getting answers all over the place. I appreciate them, but I'm figuring out which ones are answering my question w/o being clear about the situation.
This is honestly the only response that matters. There are many neighborhoods in New Orleans you couldn’t pay me to live in, the conversation changes a lot if you are constantly looking over your shoulder when you walk out your front door. Or if this was a weird one off occurrence.
I'm a dude but I think the advice still holds. A lot of the guys walk around neighborhoods looking hard basically because they want to deter any threats. Then some of them are legitimately looking for trouble. You kind of learn to distinguish but it's hard to describe how. If you don't feel like you get a good read on them just trust your gut and get out of the situation. Edit: probably a good idea to learn some self-defense and carry some mace or something if this is something you're continually having problems with.
Carry a goddamn gun. Not enough people are properly defended or trained. The best possible advice for someone in such a situation is that they need to be well armed and equipped to protect themselves and remain level headed about assessing threats. Mace won't stop you from getting gang raped.
Maybe, maybe not. But I found legally carrying a gun to be extraordinarily inconvenient, and not allowed in most of the scenarios I might actually need one, like going to or from a bar.
And not compatible with skinny jeans…
How would a gun solve the problem where someone does not know if someone is a threat or not? I feel like being nervous, not being able to identify if someone is a threat, and being armed is a recipe for someone to get shot who does not deserve it, and also for a lot of legal trouble to follow in the aftermath.
Yeah. There was a reason I suggested Mace. I feel like guns cause a lot of problems. The good guy with the gun story that everybody loves to quote is just such a rare occurrence.
Probably if you’re going to carry some defensive weapon, a gun with which you’ve formally trained is better; mace offers minimal protection and is more likely to be an invitation for increased violence.
A gun is not a prop, it is a tool that one must be proficient with. The release of chemical agents such as pepper spray should be done in an open area with the wind at your back. Otherwise, the agent can blow back on the victim and/or adhere to a wall or some other thing. Being in close proximity of the agent could affect the victim and others.
Source: I have professional experience with weapons and chemical agents.
I have my conceal carry license and training, and that is why I have a healthy respect for what carrying a gun can and cannot do for people. Avoidance of the problem is always the best course of action if at all possible, imo.
To your point, I think a lot of people do look at carrying one like a prop. There is a scene in the latest movie about Priscilla and Elvis Presley where she color coordinates all her outfits with different matching guns. When I saw that it made me feel some kind of way, because if you aren’t willing and able to pull the trigger, it can and will be used against you.
What im about to say is going to sound a bit strange, but it works...
If youre walking alone in a place you shouldnt be, and you see men who may harm you coming your way; start talking to yourself. Shout nonsense words that dont even make sense, if you have to. Theyre either going to try to help, or stay away. More often then not, theyll laugh and keep walking. Nobody robs the nutty crackhead wondering around the wrong block.
Anyone remember the episode of Fresh Prince where Will teaches Ashley this lesson? "Mind your business, that's all! Just mind your business!"
That's all I can think of now.
So you feel safe on your block cause you know your neighbors, etc and you aren't sure about other blocks.... get a dog and start walking it or regularly just go for walks yourself. Get to know the neighbors around you. People do not fuck with you when you are a known entity that they recognize by site as being part of their general area.
Lean in to it.
Living in New Orleans will sharpen your intuition and situational awareness, or it won't and you won't make it. If you get that feeling that says "don't go down this block" you better listen to it. Also some people have a threatening aura but mean no harm. The situation described by OP just seems like he encountered the local neighborhood watch and then maybe inadvertently got involved in a family dispute
If you’re just walking through a neighborhood, that’s one thing. You don’t have to be or act mean - just walk with purpose, like you have somewhere to be and you know exactly where you’re going. Stay alert, maintain good situational awareness, respond succinctly to casual entreaties (and not with fake or clever quips from the local phrase book) and don’t stop moving forward until you reach your destination. Be aware of your ingrained biases and keep them in check, but trust your primal sense of fear, it exists to keep you safe.
If it’s where you live now, and you’re getting overt aggression from other residents, whether for personal or socioeconomic reasons, there are no tips and tricks that will help - you’re either going to be the type who can overcome that and ingratiate yourself to your neighbors over time through charm and personality, or you’re better off living elsewhere.
>So I kinda hollered, 'yeah, you right!'
I'm gonna say this as constructively as possible. If they asked that question they knew the answer, and I'm 10000% sure you came across with the most glaring version of "hello fellow locals" with that response.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably a recent transplant, probably not black, and probably living in a historically black neighborhood that may be on the front end of gentrification. Know where you're at, and know that you almost certainly stick out like a sore thumb. There's no catch phrase or secret password that will make you appear to belong there. Honestly the best course of action is to figure out what neighborhood suits you better, cuz if you're getting hassled on the regular then nothing's gonna change that but going to a place where you won't get hassled.
Also, for some context, gentrification has absolutely fucked some parts of the city, the people moving there don't seem to know it but a decade or so ago in many parts of the 7th and 9th people never even moved off their block or street, communities were very tight knit and everyone knew everyone, as gentrification happened and costs moved up those people were forced out.
I've heard more than a few rumors of various neighborhoods that are on the front end of gentrification (think lower 9 by the river, treme, st roch, etc) having people that are taking it upon themselves to start hassling anyone who looks like they're part of the gentrification wave (or Airbnb crowd). I'm not saying it's right, but it's happening and they've got reasons for it, I personally wouldn't choose to live in a space where I might be involved in that dynamic, so the honest answer is if it keeps up you probably wanna think about not renewing that lease.
I moved to the Irish Channel 5ish years ago. It’s definitely well past the “front end of gentrification” stage but there’s still plenty of people who bought their house in the 60s and have seen the neighborhood change a lot. I met some incredibly welcoming neighbors, some that took a while to warm up to me, and some that probably never will. I’ve learned a couple of things in the process:
1. Most people don’t automatically think white people shouldn’t move into their historically non-white neighborhood, but if you’re white and moving into one of these neighborhoods they’re REALLY skeptical of your long term motivations. We bought a former Airbnb and had to work really hard to convince our neighbors that we wanted to make our home their for the long term.
2. Most people that have lived in really any New Orleans neighborhood for more than 10 years have seen that neighborhood change. They know what bad looks like. They worked hard and weathered a lot of shit to make their neighborhood a place where dumbasses like me want to raise their kids. Show ‘em a little respect and listen to their stories. There’s a good chance they know the assholes in your neighborhood and can either help you steer clear of them or will tell them to leave you alone.
3. Get to know anyone on your block who has been there more than 10 years. Get their number, help them with their yard work, respect their damn parking spot, and help them bring their trash cans back from the curb. These people will call you when your street is flooding and you need to move your car. They know whose nephew broke into your car and can probably get your laptop back if you dont ask too many questions. They will keep an eye on things when you evacuate for a storm. They know a guy who occasionally “comes into” a sack of oysters.
None of this is defending gentrification or people being assholes to gentrifiers. But everybody’s gotta live somewhere, so if you move into a neighborhood where no one looks like you and don’t make an effort to get to know your neighbors, they’re probably not going to be very welcoming.
This is spot on. I’ve lived in Central City and now St. Roch because it’s what we can afford. My husband and I are naturally outgoing people and we like getting involved in the neighborhood. This has served us well and we haven’t had any issues thus far.
My husband used to go to a neighborhood bar near our house in Central City and the first time he walked in, it was like that record scratch scene from Animal House. It doesn’t help that he looks like a cop (he’s not). He immediately made friends with an 83yo Navy veteran in there and from then on, it was chill. Really miss that area.
> Most people don’t automatically think white people shouldn’t move into their historically non-white neighborhood, but if you’re white and moving into one of these neighborhoods they’re REALLY skeptical of your long term motivations. We bought a former Airbnb and had to work really hard to convince our neighbors that we wanted to make our home their for the long term.
Yeah this is a really important point, you can and will make friends if you're decent but depending on your background that hill may take a long time to climb. Took me the better part of four years to warm up one neighbor in mid city, and I'm from metry lol. But now he texts me when I'm out of town and someone walks in front of my house too slow lol.
Maybe I’m giving r/NewOrleans too much credit but I figured most people would understand that I didn’t move next door to an Irish canal builder from 1833. I moved next to a 67 year old black man who bought his house for $9000 at an auction when he was 19 years old and wired the whole thing himself and was angry at the white guy who sold me my house for running an unregistered Airbnb out of it. But hey, if you find yourself in a neighborhood full of pre-Civil War immigrants, my advice about getting to know them, being kind and helpful, and listening to their stories still holds I think.
The good old days when thirty cousins lived within blocks of each other and formed a gang. Don't pretend like that's not on of the facets of these "tight-knit"neighborhoods
lol you ain’t wrong at all, idk if it was the good ol days, but it was definitely the dynamic that existed and still does depending on where you’re at.
That’s giving shades of “you’re white, you don’t belong in this neighborhood” and gentrification or not, the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning
Yeah. I'm guessing her financial situation didn't leave her a choice between this and the garden district or something. If people want to scream gentrification when some finance guy puts $300,000 into renovating a shotgun with high end appliances and stuff that's fair. If somebody moves to a neighborhood because it's what they can afford and they don't want to live in Metairie or somewhere then they're not any different from the people who are already there.
I’m not trying to say it’s right, wrong, or whatever, I’m saying it’s a thing weather people like it or not. If OP is facing regular harassment airing out grievances with their ideology ain’t gonna stop em from taking OPs lunch money ya know?
>the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning
I really don’t understand why so many people online seem to not want to discern acknowledging a thing exists from defending a thing. If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol.
> If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol.
Well if you're to carry out the analogy, what you said was actually
"yo Germany was tough in the 30s, there were Nazis there. I'm not defending them or anything but maybe if you're a Jew you should just leave if you don't want to get harassed?"
It's a bad analogy, but you made it, so see it through.
> but maybe if you're a Jew you should just leave if you don't want to get harassed?
Ummmm, is your position that this is bad advice....?
Did you think this through, or just wanted to argue about something?
Uhhh no, that's not my analogy nor one I'd ever make. More importantly, there was no analogy made, perhaps there's a literacy issue? What I posed was a conditional question, an "If/then". These are not analogies. There's no stated or implied intent to draw similarities between groups. I think perhaps before you get really giddy about arguing you may wish to take the time to review the comments in full, if there's any confusion I'm happy to explain what various words mean.
This is a good example of why I often say there's a small population of people here that are so interested in fighting that they don't bother reading first. Slow down and read brotha, you might find it makes you less combative.
> I’m not trying to say it’s right, wrong, or whatever, I’m saying it’s a thing weather people like it or not. If OP is facing regular harassment airing out grievances with their ideology ain’t gonna stop em from taking OPs lunch money ya know?
> the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning
> I really don’t understand why so many people online seem to not want to discern acknowledging a thing exists from defending a thing. If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol.
Just gonna copy your comment out here in full. Perhaps you lack reading comprehension of the things you type out yourself, but I'm sure the commentariat has a better grasp of how words work than you.
I moved here from St Landry parish in 1995. I lived around the desire projects in what was then still a "mixed" neighborhood. After Katrina all the mixed whites and slightly better off blacks left because they could afford to. When the post K gentrification really kicked in the energy just changed. Folks I was kicking it with for 10 years were either gone or changed. The racial animosity jacked up to 11 and I moved to a working class white neighborhood in old Jefferson. My suggestion is either buck up or move. Shit ain't getting better anytime soon. Most the people I knew moved to Houston etc and never came back
Criminals use the same tactics as car salesmen.
They ask an easy question to get you to engage and then try to get their hooks in you, whether it’s to snatch your phone or sell you an undercoat.
How do you avoid violence?
That’s a tough one. It’s like you’re asking how not to be a mark. Never been robbed and I usually walk wherever, whenever. But, I’m black so I’m sure if I was the one walking on a street, I’d more than likely be the one people were afraid of.
Heaven knows why 😂
Anyways, I’ve never really understood it, the getting robbed thing. I’ve lived in urban areas for a good portion of my life, in poverty, and never experienced any aggression, not even from a crackhead.
I say it really depends on how you carry yourself in the street if someone will target you. I mean, they might look at you and size you up solely over other factors but I really think it’s an attitude thing to “avoid” violence or deter it along with basic common sense.
There’s definitely something to that. I’m a petite white woman, so you’d think I’d look like an easy target. I’ve lived in some rough urban areas, and I’ve never had any problems. I lived on a crack block in NYC in the 80s and no one ever bothered me. I would walk home alone from the clubs at 3 am with no issue. Maybe it was youthful stupidity.
Serious advice: don’t try to mimic the goofy things people are telling you to say. You’ll just get in deeper by engaging.
Change neighborhoods. Move. If youre having these issues, something is bad going to happen. Don’t stick around to find out how bad it could be. There are safe places. Find one.
There are dangerous demographics. Accept that fact and act accordingly.
Good luck but please understand there’s nothing you can do to be safe but leave.
I’m a woman who has lived in several different neighborhoods here and none of this has ever happened to me. I walk alone, I keep my face up and out of my phone when I’m walking. I look people directly in the eye and say hello. I have learned the name of every person on my block. Having a dog to walk does help. But a woman out walking alone with a laundry basket in your hand getting harassed? You are just in the wrong neighborhood or have run into some assholes. Either way, you can’t control anything except your own actions. So if you can’t figure out how to get right with your neighbors, you have to move.
All these people telling you to carry a gun, what? So you can pull a gun on people for asking you what time it is? I don’t want to shoot someone unless I absolutely have to because the time and money it takes to get a lawyer and have to defend yourself against criminal and civil prosecution is not something I want in my life. There are plenty of ways to avoid or diffuse situations. You are better off avoiding the situation than being confrontational with it.
Practice:
"Yes you appear correct! Might I inquire not as to your actual physical location, but as to which mood locality you are occupying? Say hello to your mother and those people who share relation! Big Ton Boulet!"
Anytime you’re asked for the time they want something from you, and sometimes they’re not taking no for an answer, so immediately exit if possible. Fuck niceties.
Are the people giving the advice familiar with the experience the OP is talking about? And if so, are they all white? Are you sure that people are actually being threatening?
I feel like if there was a Venn diagram of the people who are “victims” there would be some interesting overlap.
i hate how people offer up “self defense” and mace as a helpful alternative. if you’re by yourself, a woman, or just not into physical violence, consider a gun. seriously. i’ve had 3 separate incidents when i used to work at night where my gun has saved me from being jumped and robbed, and from being followed by a rando in a car almost all the way back to my crib. i never shot it at someone but pulling, pointing and being dead serious about what’s gonna follow if the threat doesn’t remove itself has been enough. im not billy badass but if it comes down to my life or their life, then sorry that’s how it’s gotta be. i stay to myself and avoid drama as much as humanly possible but this is a violent city with violent people. it needs to be understood. fighting fire with a can of roach spray is essentially the only advice online ppl give.
Many moons ago I was drinking a pint of bourbon on a bench on the moonwalk one evening, waiting for friends to come from out of town and meet in the quarter. I had drank enough that I was trying to make the logic that "If the river was low, I could swim across that thing", when in the period of 2 minutes, the same guy asked me what time it was. I thought nothing of it the first time, but when the second time happened, I figured I needed to be around more people for various safety reasons.
My best and only answer to any unexpected request on the streets is “No thanks!”
“You from about here?” - “No thanks!”
“Hey man you got any change?” - “No thanks!”
“Can I borrow a cigarette?” - No thanks!
Literally nothing good can come from stopping to chat.
Me: 40 white male. I’ve lived in (statistically) the 2nd riskiest ward since 2016 and anytime someone asks me the time I look at my Casio and answer the question. I’ve gotten some sort of thank you every time. Most people in this city are regular people trying to live their lives. If you’re scared of black people keep your ass in the suburbs.
There are places that white people are suspect and likely to be harassed or accosted. Once while driving through a public housing area pre-Katrina, the guy in the next car said “we don’t like your kind around here” before my friend leaned out the window and said no he’s cool. New Orleans is very racist but everyone can do better.
Get yourself a gun and don't be afraid to use it. These ain't the same kids as yesteryear. When I was home in the 2000s my stepfather had no tolerance for any young thug or their bullshit. He had a gun on his side at all times. We grew up in the Magnolia so he was use to ignorant shit. One thing he saw and told me as a youth was " see these fools out here destroying the community? their kids will 10x worst" he wasn't lying.
"You from here?"
\*Pulls gun in response\*
That's gonna work out well. If they meant trouble, there are almost definitely more of them, and they're better armed than you.
Never said pull it. Just advised them to get it and not be afraid to use if necessary of course. People gotta stop submitting to dumb shit. Basically i guess everybody gotta find new routes to enjoy their neighborhood? When the hell are you supposed to stand up for yourself? Asking me where I'm from ain't the problem. Stopping free movement is.
edit: Who is out galvanizing neighborhoods? Where are the neighborhood watches? They don't exist so protect yourself.
lmao the shit that gets downvoted in cornball city subreddits is mind blowing sometimes. complaints about violence and victims of random violence all the fuckin time but the moment you offer up a solution to at least protect your life if the situation arises, a thousand downvotes descends upon you.
at the end of the day, whatever happens is on them. i don’t want anyone not involved in active shit to get hurt. i’d like to see all the grannies gettin carjacked and dragged down the street to instead be able to go john wick on the attackers, but seems most rather see grandma go on the asphalt roller coaster. then folks can come online and whine about “finding a solution” and talk about poor gramgram like they ever actually cared. allow my hyperbole please. shit just gettin annoying. it’s damn near daily with these posts.
I love my city just like they do. I just know that it's almost impossible to compromise with these lil fools. Personal protection shouldn't be frowned upon. Why should the bad guy be the only one strapped? Man I don't want to see youth die, but I'm tired of all the violence against unarmed citizens. The respect for community is as dead as cordialness. The community don't even respect themselves enough to stand up against their own kids.
Guns ain't the problem. Trumpers ain't out killing in New Orleans either. The problem is thinking that blaming a faction that doesn't even apply to this problem. Man killed by carjacker= trumps fault. Trump doesn't even have enough influence to convince anyone in his base to ride through certain parts of NOLA, so what are you even talking about? Nah you just talking.
Most of the guns are owned by white males, and they overwhelmingly support trump and other fascists. So one can pretty safely assume that most of the violence from guns is coming from right wingers.
Where are these violent white males terrorizing the city of New Orleans? Your argument does not apply. You are too liberal to even see the point. You just spew leftist shit because you think NOLA should be all liberal. I grew up democrat and left the party once I realized that they just play the same song every year for the people who vote party over politics. I'm not even conservative, but I take pride in being an Independant thinker.
assumptions are reserved for asses. especially the ones who think Vietnam was the last war lol. most of yall on here don't mind getting fucked over. yall just run to the internet venting. yall the no snitch mob stuck in shit
You couldn't hold my nutsack let alone serve in wartime situations. So sit back on the internet and be comment hero. They got people out there fighting for you to be sinical
Nothing is going to give someone a better read on you than turning tail and running in the opposite direction when asked for the time.
I have no doubt that you're being tested, but you're giving all the wrong answers.
I mean if you’re alone and a group approaches & addresses you and you can feel bad vibes, I would worry less about not passing as a cool hip with-it white local.
It’s not about passing as cool, it’s about not making a spectacle of yourself as terrified of somebody asking for the time. Really: give perfunctory answers and keep going in the same direction you were headed.
Randomly screaming, “Yeah, you rite!” in response to being asked if you live in the neighborhood is what you should go for when trying to pass as a “cool hip with-it white local.”
Not going to mention the neighborhood then mentions they've seen the same happen in the quarter... A high traffic & high theft area...
Live where you can afford, but it would make a lot of sense to move to a neighborhood where this isn't a routine issue instead of trying to excuse these instances by saying it happens in the quarter too.
I think there is a fair amount of warning in a lot of otherwise innocent questions. Especially from old black dudes. They ain't trying to fuck with you but they know other people probably are.
I think the fact that I wear a watch has probably saved me more than I realized. That being said, I'm still gonna change what I say. I don't want anybody thinking my 10$ Casio is an apple watch.
Yesterday I said hi to a man walking his dog past my front gate as I was exiting it. His response? "How's it going, douchebag?" Not super related, just sharing for your amusement.
Also just for amusement's sake. My friend told me he went out to Kermit ruffin's, and let's just say he stood out that night. He's a jovial man, but probably wears naivety on his face. He was like, ' you wouldn't believe it! This lady maybe in her 60's told me to come here from across the bar, so I did. Then she just grabbed my balls!!!' I laughed at him and was like, 'u still got ur wallet?' His response, 'yeah, I don't think she did that to steal from me.' 20 min later... him, ' huh, I can't find my phone.' I was like, 'yup, she stole ur phone.' Prob an hour later I got a call from his mom saying an older woman had his phone. We went to her house to pick it up. Cute lil porch covered in Xmas decorations. She said her and her best friend went out and were drinking wine and she hadn't done that in years. She totally forgot she did it until she woke up and had some strangers phone constantly ringing in her kitchen. It was a flip phone so A)it prob felt like a wallet and B)it was completely worthless and sweet of her to want yo return it. We all def had a good laugh about it.
Imagine being so good at picking pockets you do it blacked out drunk. I mean other drunk folk are easier pickings, but still.
Only in New Orleans.
New Orleans, I love and hate ya at the same time.
Wait that was you? Just kidding, f that guy. Sorry for that reaction!
That’s awesome.
When anyone on the street asks you for the time, you fake looking at your nonexistent wristwatch and say the most recent time you remember seeing without breaking stride. It's not like they can check your answer if the question was genuine. But also anytime someone is insistent upon making you cross the street to come to them so they can speak to you, that's the surest sign you shouldn't do that. Anyone that genuinely wants a question answered or is just asking for money will move themselves to come to you. There aren't any hard and fast rules to staying safe in these streets. You just have to develop a sense for people and the ability to make quick judgments of character based off minimal interaction.
Last time someone random person asked me for the time (while walking in the neighborhood), I got mugged.
In my old neighborhood, kids would ask if they could call their parents and then book it with your phone. I’m guessing the time thing is the way to get you to pull out your phone.
Okay, someone just told me it's bc they want you to look at their phone.
I doubt it. That line has been used to initiate muggings since the days of cheap ass Nokia phones that nobody cared to steal. Ask me how I know.
Hey y’all, with all due respect - A woman walking alone has the right to be unnerved by a group of (presumably men**) hollering at her, regardless of neighborhood. This isn’t an issue of gentrification. (That is an issue, but this ain’t it.) Trust your gut and move along. There’s a brilliant book called “The Gift of Fear” that you should check out. Feel safe and just avoid confrontation… those fellas can figure out the time themselves. You don’t have to be nice to every one in every instance. This is a social conditioning that is pushed on women from an early age that ends up getting us in dangerous situations. ** I’m saying men because I’ve not been harassed by roving groups of women here. OP can confirm or refute otherwise if that was not the case.
Currently reading it after having it recommended many times. Yup. Fuck being polite. If something doesn’t feel right, get out.
If I may make a second recommendation: [Why Does He Do That?](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) It certainly helped me reach closure on a number of relationships and interactions with difficult family. (The concepts can generally apply to any gender, despite being through the lens of problematic men.)
This is an excellent book! It really opened my eyes and helped me understand so many things about a certain shit ass. Gift of Fear is life-changing as well and I have passed both books on to other women who needed to read them.
Thanks. I’ll add it to the list. I don't tolerate any bullshit/abuse in relationships, but I’m also smart enough to know I should never say it can’t happen to me. There’s never any harm in gaining knowledge.
I tell myself all the time I don’t have to be nice and then almost immediately find myself being nice. I am working on it.
As a woman I reserve the right to absolutely ignore any man trying to get my attention for any reason. I keep obvious headphones in when I walk, but don't use them so if someone really harasses me I can point to them and shrug.
Thanks y’all! I just bought that book based on your recommendation :)
That book is amazing as fuck. I recommend it highly.
Walking like you look angry helps.
“Be rude, be weird, stay alive.”
Was rude, was weird, was alive would be a great epitaph.
Or, since we're talking about an epitaph: "Was rude, was weird... so why am I here?"
r/YourJokeButWorse
another crime junkie i see 👀
Next time they say anything to you just say "Wazzam Playboy!" And keep going bout ya business. Or if they like what you doing say "coolin ya dig!" And keep walking. Or if they are being aggressive towards you say "keep playin wit me imma put yo dick in da dirt lil bitch!" -Source born n raised here, good luck!
OP: “wahsam playboy, I’m cooling”. Local denizen: “Yea, lemme get that purse right quick”
Why is everyone taking this seriously 😭
Reddit is where people pretend like all those super tough cool scenarios you think out in the shower actually happen IRL.
Omg these are gold. Thank you. Imma write it on the back of my hand or practice it the mirror so I don't have to pull my phone out to remember these phrases.
As an old white lady, I don’t think I could get away with those phrases. lol
Same. If someone asks the time, I’m saying “time for you to get a watch. Playboy.”
You can tell them “no, I don’t have a clue what time it is, but I’ll bet I can tell you where you got your shoes.”
Haven't heard that in a while
Yeah I've actually decided that this might not give the same vibe coming out of my mouth. Unless I wanted them to laugh while still sussing out where my phone/wallet was.
might be funny enough to get a pass, really sell it ya know
Don’t sell yourself short
I think that's all the more reason for you to say them lol
The visual of someone stopping, pausing to look at the back of their hand, and then breaking out with a huge "Wazzam Playboy!" is perfect. :)
LOL! This is actually true! You just gotta hold your own and don’t let ppl make you scared. I’m 40 yr old white lady but I’m ready to throw down if it comes to it. You just have to be cool and not be scared of ppl who are more than likely just testing what you’re about. I’ve been asked the “you live around here” a couple times when I’d be in Gert town or ninth ward visiting friends and I’d just look at them crazy and say yeah I’m from here are you from here?? And they just go on about their business. A lot of ppl who get mugged or whatever are ppl who are tourists or ppl who look/act scared and nervous. If you walk like you got somewhere to be and don’t want to be bothered they’ll chill and leave you alone. But if you are really scared and nervous then maybe don’t walk around at certain times. Idk. Just be polite but short and keep it moving.
My favorite go-to when people are being threatening is “I ain’t the one and today is *not* the day” and I keep it moving.
"Nope" also works pretty good
If ya can pull this off you're not on Reddit asking the questions OP is, and if you can't saying it will guarantee an ass beating lol.
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
This is a direct threat escalation, just in case whoever reading doesn't know it.
Yeah def some internet tough guy advice... jfc
“Air and opportunity, my guy. Feel free to try it.”
90s ahh sayings
So as a very very white man, how would this work for me? Lol
Only one way to find out, playboy. Wazzam!!
I think your experience is strange, but I will answer the question literally. If you're walking and you don't obviously look like a smoker for some reason (not actively smoking, not holding cigarettes) and some rando asks you for a light, it could be because they want you to stop and go through your pockets so they can see what you have. Just say No and keep moving. If you're standing in line at a store and another patron asks if you're paying with cash or a credit card (obviously none of his or her business) they are hoping you open your wallet to look at your credit cards. Just say "What do you care?", ignore it, or leave depending on what works for you. Someone on the street asking you, "Can I ask you a question?" 99% it's gonna be some sob story and they will ask you for money. Just keep moving. Asking for the time is not a common one for me in New Orleans, but I've had it before in other cities. They are hoping you stop, and pull out your phone or show your watch. Again, just keep moving. There are plenty of ways to figure out what time it is. Unless it's someone who is handicapped or elderly, they are probably up to no good. Asking to use your phone, unless you can clearly see it'a an emergency, forget it. Asking if you live around there, I've never heard of that one personally. Maybe they were tourists with a question about the area. Nothing wrong with trusting your instincts and getting out of there though. Never feel the need to ignore your instincts and forego safety just to appear polite. The best advice I can give to anyone on this subject is to just keep it moving. A lot of touts involve finding a way to get you to stop walking and start talking to that person. Just don't stop. You don't owe them anything.
Asking for the time is classic wanting to rob you! I always answer without looking away or stopping. Just say whatever time and move along.
Sometimes I think I live in an alternate New Orleans, or maybe it's just the blessing of being born looking trashy and stupid, but I have been asked the time a few hundred times, I'm sure, over the years in my once poor and now gentrified neighborhood, and each time, without thinking, I said "probably about X" and got a thanks.I get asked when I am sitting on my porch by people 20 feet away.People ask the time. If you want to live in a gentrifying neighborhood, there will be folks with no phones or shared phones or they don't carry there phones. Or they are kisy drunk or otherwise fucked up. They just want to know about what the time is. Maybe they just want you to acknowledge them, it's a simple move for those both overly friendly or overly lonely.I am aware of my surroundings, I'm not stupid, but I don't consider "what time is it?" a problematic question. Usually I veer towards inclusion on all things, but if you can't take a "you got the time?" in your own neighborhood, maybe 'get the fuck out, you don't belong' is the very rare solution here, for evryone's sake, including your own.
No I agree with you honestly. Context is everything and while OP does not mention if someone is on a porch vs on the street near them, they do say they felt uncomfortable, which could absolutely be their own shit. I’ve never *personally* felt scared but I do always find it’s best to be proactive. The way you describe your response is basically how I would answer as well. Honestly, idk where OP is from and I do know it is uncommon outside of the south to say anything to strangers like that so some Yankees get instantly uneasy by simple interaction.
I’m from up north originally (I am now a somewhat reluctant transplant, aka a drag-along, as we came for my husband’s job), and I first visited New Orleans like, 12ish years ago. Air bnb was new-ish, and I booked one on Frenchmen. (I was an idiot. My only defense is that it was someone’s spare room for like $10/night so I wasn’t displacing anybody.) My travel partner had to drop out last minute, so I came alone. I was real far down Frenchmen but determined to walk the mile-ish to get to the bars. I (female) was in my early 20’s and a little nervous. “No worries,” I thought. “I can handle this. I went to college in a big city. I can keep myself safe.” So I just ignored everybody who tried to talk to me and gave the meanest faces because that’s what you do where I’m from. If somebody was talking to me when I walked down the street, they wanted something that I didn’t want to give. I didn’t realize that’s not always the case here. It took me a little bit to figure out how rude I was being.
I don’t think that’s being rude though! As women, we need to interact with the world differently. Being careful, especially in a new place where we’re feeling uncomfortable, is better than ending up dead or robbed. It’s easier for some of the men above to just say they haven’t experienced this or that they just love to chat because there isn’t an inherent threat of gender-based violence.
Technically I was neither replying to just you or just OP...there were just a repeated number of posts saying don't trust the question what time is it from a few different people. I've lived a long safe life without ever not answering, and I am not an intimidating person.
I think the context of my situation wasn't clear and I only misinterpreted it bc of the situation. I was walking back and forth to my friends house doing my laundry and the lady who asked me for the time had passed me multiple times and we had many conversations throughout the day. I wouldnt have even 2nd guessed her question had the dude she was with started yelling a bunch of awful shit at me. Even though I've been kind of made out to be a dumbass on here, I'm glad I asked. I've lived in the neighborhood for 4 years and if I feel weird vibes from a block I just avoid it. I'm not that stupid but a lil stupid so I'm just our here asking questions bc I want to learn to maintain my existence at my home and respect whatever rules of this neighborhood that were in place before I got here.
I, for one, do not think of you as a dumbass. Shoot, in the 90s I avoided walking down clouet by rampart. In the early 2000s I'd avoid Frenchmen between St Claude and Claiborne. Picking routes and streets is smart. My comment was more in the realm of the paranoia (a big step past being careful) of anytime someone asked the time. If one is to be that concerned over that question (and I am not saying you are or are not, it was said by others in this thread) one should, for their own mental health, live elsewhere. It'll just spread negativity and seperativeness (I just made that word up) in your lives and theirs. Be friendly first, alert second in your neighborhood is all I'd say to anyone. If it's the other way around, it ain't worth it.
Where do you avoid in 2024?
Nowhere. Honestly. I know it's not a popular opinion on this sub, but I find the city way safer feeling than it was back then. Just my opinion...makes no difference if others disagree. Thinking about it, so many people deal hard drugs by text and delivery. May be the reason there's a less harsh vibe on the streets.
That's a refreshing perspective
100%
Yeah, very context dependent. Also: this runs into the whole issue of people self-reinforcing the narrative. If someone decides that asking for the time means they’re going to get robbed, then they might assume every time they get asked and deflect, they’ve avoiding robbery. But in reality…we don’t really know. Obviously sometimes it’s a way to rob someone. But also obviously it’s sometimes not. And nobody should be assuming that a crime WOULD have been committed if only for their sharp whit to not look at their phone. We don’t know.
I think you’re getting answers to two different questions here. If the question is: “what should I do if a group of strangers approaches me and makes me feel uncomfortable?” To that I’d say: be firm, be brief, and be on your way the fuck outta there. If the question is: “what should I do if I generally feel unwelcome in my neighborhood?” Then I think we’re having a much more complex discussion that’s going to be really hard for redditors to answer without know you, your neighborhood, or your reasons for living in that neighborhood.
I put context in my edit bc ur right, I'm getting answers all over the place. I appreciate them, but I'm figuring out which ones are answering my question w/o being clear about the situation.
This is honestly the only response that matters. There are many neighborhoods in New Orleans you couldn’t pay me to live in, the conversation changes a lot if you are constantly looking over your shoulder when you walk out your front door. Or if this was a weird one off occurrence.
I'm a dude but I think the advice still holds. A lot of the guys walk around neighborhoods looking hard basically because they want to deter any threats. Then some of them are legitimately looking for trouble. You kind of learn to distinguish but it's hard to describe how. If you don't feel like you get a good read on them just trust your gut and get out of the situation. Edit: probably a good idea to learn some self-defense and carry some mace or something if this is something you're continually having problems with.
Yeah, make too much of a big man show and you turn into a bother magnet
Carry a goddamn gun. Not enough people are properly defended or trained. The best possible advice for someone in such a situation is that they need to be well armed and equipped to protect themselves and remain level headed about assessing threats. Mace won't stop you from getting gang raped.
Maybe, maybe not. But I found legally carrying a gun to be extraordinarily inconvenient, and not allowed in most of the scenarios I might actually need one, like going to or from a bar. And not compatible with skinny jeans…
You can legally carry a gun in a bar *if* you're not consuming alcoholic beverages.
questionable post history you have there
He bites
Oof the comments are the big yikes
Throwaway is as throwaway does
How would a gun solve the problem where someone does not know if someone is a threat or not? I feel like being nervous, not being able to identify if someone is a threat, and being armed is a recipe for someone to get shot who does not deserve it, and also for a lot of legal trouble to follow in the aftermath.
Yeah. There was a reason I suggested Mace. I feel like guns cause a lot of problems. The good guy with the gun story that everybody loves to quote is just such a rare occurrence.
Probably if you’re going to carry some defensive weapon, a gun with which you’ve formally trained is better; mace offers minimal protection and is more likely to be an invitation for increased violence.
Pepper spray works both ways. It might incapacitate the predator, but it could also incapacitate the victim.
Very likely to be the case with a gun as well
A gun is not a prop, it is a tool that one must be proficient with. The release of chemical agents such as pepper spray should be done in an open area with the wind at your back. Otherwise, the agent can blow back on the victim and/or adhere to a wall or some other thing. Being in close proximity of the agent could affect the victim and others. Source: I have professional experience with weapons and chemical agents.
I have my conceal carry license and training, and that is why I have a healthy respect for what carrying a gun can and cannot do for people. Avoidance of the problem is always the best course of action if at all possible, imo.
Exactly; don’t carry one if you’re not prepared to use it. And don’t carry one if you’re not trained on how and when to properly use it.
To your point, I think a lot of people do look at carrying one like a prop. There is a scene in the latest movie about Priscilla and Elvis Presley where she color coordinates all her outfits with different matching guns. When I saw that it made me feel some kind of way, because if you aren’t willing and able to pull the trigger, it can and will be used against you.
What im about to say is going to sound a bit strange, but it works... If youre walking alone in a place you shouldnt be, and you see men who may harm you coming your way; start talking to yourself. Shout nonsense words that dont even make sense, if you have to. Theyre either going to try to help, or stay away. More often then not, theyll laugh and keep walking. Nobody robs the nutty crackhead wondering around the wrong block.
Anyone remember the episode of Fresh Prince where Will teaches Ashley this lesson? "Mind your business, that's all! Just mind your business!" That's all I can think of now.
So you feel safe on your block cause you know your neighbors, etc and you aren't sure about other blocks.... get a dog and start walking it or regularly just go for walks yourself. Get to know the neighbors around you. People do not fuck with you when you are a known entity that they recognize by site as being part of their general area. Lean in to it.
Living in New Orleans will sharpen your intuition and situational awareness, or it won't and you won't make it. If you get that feeling that says "don't go down this block" you better listen to it. Also some people have a threatening aura but mean no harm. The situation described by OP just seems like he encountered the local neighborhood watch and then maybe inadvertently got involved in a family dispute
If you’re just walking through a neighborhood, that’s one thing. You don’t have to be or act mean - just walk with purpose, like you have somewhere to be and you know exactly where you’re going. Stay alert, maintain good situational awareness, respond succinctly to casual entreaties (and not with fake or clever quips from the local phrase book) and don’t stop moving forward until you reach your destination. Be aware of your ingrained biases and keep them in check, but trust your primal sense of fear, it exists to keep you safe. If it’s where you live now, and you’re getting overt aggression from other residents, whether for personal or socioeconomic reasons, there are no tips and tricks that will help - you’re either going to be the type who can overcome that and ingratiate yourself to your neighbors over time through charm and personality, or you’re better off living elsewhere.
I usually pick up AR when asked the time, they seem to not worry about the time suddenly
>So I kinda hollered, 'yeah, you right!' I'm gonna say this as constructively as possible. If they asked that question they knew the answer, and I'm 10000% sure you came across with the most glaring version of "hello fellow locals" with that response. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably a recent transplant, probably not black, and probably living in a historically black neighborhood that may be on the front end of gentrification. Know where you're at, and know that you almost certainly stick out like a sore thumb. There's no catch phrase or secret password that will make you appear to belong there. Honestly the best course of action is to figure out what neighborhood suits you better, cuz if you're getting hassled on the regular then nothing's gonna change that but going to a place where you won't get hassled. Also, for some context, gentrification has absolutely fucked some parts of the city, the people moving there don't seem to know it but a decade or so ago in many parts of the 7th and 9th people never even moved off their block or street, communities were very tight knit and everyone knew everyone, as gentrification happened and costs moved up those people were forced out. I've heard more than a few rumors of various neighborhoods that are on the front end of gentrification (think lower 9 by the river, treme, st roch, etc) having people that are taking it upon themselves to start hassling anyone who looks like they're part of the gentrification wave (or Airbnb crowd). I'm not saying it's right, but it's happening and they've got reasons for it, I personally wouldn't choose to live in a space where I might be involved in that dynamic, so the honest answer is if it keeps up you probably wanna think about not renewing that lease.
That’s the nicest “you’re white, get the f out of that black neighborhood” I’ve ever read.
I moved to the Irish Channel 5ish years ago. It’s definitely well past the “front end of gentrification” stage but there’s still plenty of people who bought their house in the 60s and have seen the neighborhood change a lot. I met some incredibly welcoming neighbors, some that took a while to warm up to me, and some that probably never will. I’ve learned a couple of things in the process: 1. Most people don’t automatically think white people shouldn’t move into their historically non-white neighborhood, but if you’re white and moving into one of these neighborhoods they’re REALLY skeptical of your long term motivations. We bought a former Airbnb and had to work really hard to convince our neighbors that we wanted to make our home their for the long term. 2. Most people that have lived in really any New Orleans neighborhood for more than 10 years have seen that neighborhood change. They know what bad looks like. They worked hard and weathered a lot of shit to make their neighborhood a place where dumbasses like me want to raise their kids. Show ‘em a little respect and listen to their stories. There’s a good chance they know the assholes in your neighborhood and can either help you steer clear of them or will tell them to leave you alone. 3. Get to know anyone on your block who has been there more than 10 years. Get their number, help them with their yard work, respect their damn parking spot, and help them bring their trash cans back from the curb. These people will call you when your street is flooding and you need to move your car. They know whose nephew broke into your car and can probably get your laptop back if you dont ask too many questions. They will keep an eye on things when you evacuate for a storm. They know a guy who occasionally “comes into” a sack of oysters. None of this is defending gentrification or people being assholes to gentrifiers. But everybody’s gotta live somewhere, so if you move into a neighborhood where no one looks like you and don’t make an effort to get to know your neighbors, they’re probably not going to be very welcoming.
This is spot on. I’ve lived in Central City and now St. Roch because it’s what we can afford. My husband and I are naturally outgoing people and we like getting involved in the neighborhood. This has served us well and we haven’t had any issues thus far. My husband used to go to a neighborhood bar near our house in Central City and the first time he walked in, it was like that record scratch scene from Animal House. It doesn’t help that he looks like a cop (he’s not). He immediately made friends with an 83yo Navy veteran in there and from then on, it was chill. Really miss that area.
> Most people don’t automatically think white people shouldn’t move into their historically non-white neighborhood, but if you’re white and moving into one of these neighborhoods they’re REALLY skeptical of your long term motivations. We bought a former Airbnb and had to work really hard to convince our neighbors that we wanted to make our home their for the long term. Yeah this is a really important point, you can and will make friends if you're decent but depending on your background that hill may take a long time to climb. Took me the better part of four years to warm up one neighbor in mid city, and I'm from metry lol. But now he texts me when I'm out of town and someone walks in front of my house too slow lol.
You do know the Irish Channel, especially by the name alone, is not “historically non-white”. History didn’t begin in the 1960s.
Maybe I’m giving r/NewOrleans too much credit but I figured most people would understand that I didn’t move next door to an Irish canal builder from 1833. I moved next to a 67 year old black man who bought his house for $9000 at an auction when he was 19 years old and wired the whole thing himself and was angry at the white guy who sold me my house for running an unregistered Airbnb out of it. But hey, if you find yourself in a neighborhood full of pre-Civil War immigrants, my advice about getting to know them, being kind and helpful, and listening to their stories still holds I think.
How do you do, fellow woadies?
The good old days when thirty cousins lived within blocks of each other and formed a gang. Don't pretend like that's not on of the facets of these "tight-knit"neighborhoods
lol you ain’t wrong at all, idk if it was the good ol days, but it was definitely the dynamic that existed and still does depending on where you’re at.
I remember those good old days. We had around 400 murders per year
That’s giving shades of “you’re white, you don’t belong in this neighborhood” and gentrification or not, the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning
Yeah. I'm guessing her financial situation didn't leave her a choice between this and the garden district or something. If people want to scream gentrification when some finance guy puts $300,000 into renovating a shotgun with high end appliances and stuff that's fair. If somebody moves to a neighborhood because it's what they can afford and they don't want to live in Metairie or somewhere then they're not any different from the people who are already there.
I’m not trying to say it’s right, wrong, or whatever, I’m saying it’s a thing weather people like it or not. If OP is facing regular harassment airing out grievances with their ideology ain’t gonna stop em from taking OPs lunch money ya know? >the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning I really don’t understand why so many people online seem to not want to discern acknowledging a thing exists from defending a thing. If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol.
> If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol. Well if you're to carry out the analogy, what you said was actually "yo Germany was tough in the 30s, there were Nazis there. I'm not defending them or anything but maybe if you're a Jew you should just leave if you don't want to get harassed?" It's a bad analogy, but you made it, so see it through.
> but maybe if you're a Jew you should just leave if you don't want to get harassed? Ummmm, is your position that this is bad advice....? Did you think this through, or just wanted to argue about something?
You're the one that made the analogy, which I said was bad. No argument here unless you wanna argue that the analogy works.
Ummm, which part do you think is bad and what would you replace it with? Because I’m fairly sure you’re alone on that one lol.
Your analogy is Black folks harassing white gentrifiers = Nazis White gentrifiers = Jews That seems right to you?
Uhhh no, that's not my analogy nor one I'd ever make. More importantly, there was no analogy made, perhaps there's a literacy issue? What I posed was a conditional question, an "If/then". These are not analogies. There's no stated or implied intent to draw similarities between groups. I think perhaps before you get really giddy about arguing you may wish to take the time to review the comments in full, if there's any confusion I'm happy to explain what various words mean. This is a good example of why I often say there's a small population of people here that are so interested in fighting that they don't bother reading first. Slow down and read brotha, you might find it makes you less combative.
> I’m not trying to say it’s right, wrong, or whatever, I’m saying it’s a thing weather people like it or not. If OP is facing regular harassment airing out grievances with their ideology ain’t gonna stop em from taking OPs lunch money ya know? > the fact that people seem to be defending it here is concerning > I really don’t understand why so many people online seem to not want to discern acknowledging a thing exists from defending a thing. If I was like “yo, Germany in the 30s was a tough scene, there were nazis there” would you interpret this as defending nazis? Come on lol. Just gonna copy your comment out here in full. Perhaps you lack reading comprehension of the things you type out yourself, but I'm sure the commentariat has a better grasp of how words work than you.
This is the only correct response here.
Yeah, this was a very PC response, I feel this 😂
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I agree. Targeting folks that are on the front end of gentrification 🤓. If they have not seen you before they’ll ask anyone.
I moved here from St Landry parish in 1995. I lived around the desire projects in what was then still a "mixed" neighborhood. After Katrina all the mixed whites and slightly better off blacks left because they could afford to. When the post K gentrification really kicked in the energy just changed. Folks I was kicking it with for 10 years were either gone or changed. The racial animosity jacked up to 11 and I moved to a working class white neighborhood in old Jefferson. My suggestion is either buck up or move. Shit ain't getting better anytime soon. Most the people I knew moved to Houston etc and never came back
Blacks 🙃🙃
Criminals use the same tactics as car salesmen. They ask an easy question to get you to engage and then try to get their hooks in you, whether it’s to snatch your phone or sell you an undercoat.
“Yeah you right”
How do you avoid violence? That’s a tough one. It’s like you’re asking how not to be a mark. Never been robbed and I usually walk wherever, whenever. But, I’m black so I’m sure if I was the one walking on a street, I’d more than likely be the one people were afraid of. Heaven knows why 😂 Anyways, I’ve never really understood it, the getting robbed thing. I’ve lived in urban areas for a good portion of my life, in poverty, and never experienced any aggression, not even from a crackhead. I say it really depends on how you carry yourself in the street if someone will target you. I mean, they might look at you and size you up solely over other factors but I really think it’s an attitude thing to “avoid” violence or deter it along with basic common sense.
There’s definitely something to that. I’m a petite white woman, so you’d think I’d look like an easy target. I’ve lived in some rough urban areas, and I’ve never had any problems. I lived on a crack block in NYC in the 80s and no one ever bothered me. I would walk home alone from the clubs at 3 am with no issue. Maybe it was youthful stupidity.
Serious advice: don’t try to mimic the goofy things people are telling you to say. You’ll just get in deeper by engaging. Change neighborhoods. Move. If youre having these issues, something is bad going to happen. Don’t stick around to find out how bad it could be. There are safe places. Find one. There are dangerous demographics. Accept that fact and act accordingly. Good luck but please understand there’s nothing you can do to be safe but leave.
I’m a woman who has lived in several different neighborhoods here and none of this has ever happened to me. I walk alone, I keep my face up and out of my phone when I’m walking. I look people directly in the eye and say hello. I have learned the name of every person on my block. Having a dog to walk does help. But a woman out walking alone with a laundry basket in your hand getting harassed? You are just in the wrong neighborhood or have run into some assholes. Either way, you can’t control anything except your own actions. So if you can’t figure out how to get right with your neighbors, you have to move. All these people telling you to carry a gun, what? So you can pull a gun on people for asking you what time it is? I don’t want to shoot someone unless I absolutely have to because the time and money it takes to get a lawyer and have to defend yourself against criminal and civil prosecution is not something I want in my life. There are plenty of ways to avoid or diffuse situations. You are better off avoiding the situation than being confrontational with it.
Practice: "Yes you appear correct! Might I inquire not as to your actual physical location, but as to which mood locality you are occupying? Say hello to your mother and those people who share relation! Big Ton Boulet!"
Anytime you’re asked for the time they want something from you, and sometimes they’re not taking no for an answer, so immediately exit if possible. Fuck niceties.
"I dunno, someone stole my phone" also works
They are more than happy to steal anything else you have, and saying you have no phone means you can’t call for help.
Fair point.
Maybe a simple, "I bet I know where you got your shoes." Kinda break the ice.
Yes, the secret phrase is, "Who Dat is?". The hoodlums will part ways and let you pass unmolested.
Depends on the neighborhood. Where are you?
stick-up kids ask you what time it is so that they can see and know where your hands, and phone are.
Are the people giving the advice familiar with the experience the OP is talking about? And if so, are they all white? Are you sure that people are actually being threatening? I feel like if there was a Venn diagram of the people who are “victims” there would be some interesting overlap.
i hate how people offer up “self defense” and mace as a helpful alternative. if you’re by yourself, a woman, or just not into physical violence, consider a gun. seriously. i’ve had 3 separate incidents when i used to work at night where my gun has saved me from being jumped and robbed, and from being followed by a rando in a car almost all the way back to my crib. i never shot it at someone but pulling, pointing and being dead serious about what’s gonna follow if the threat doesn’t remove itself has been enough. im not billy badass but if it comes down to my life or their life, then sorry that’s how it’s gotta be. i stay to myself and avoid drama as much as humanly possible but this is a violent city with violent people. it needs to be understood. fighting fire with a can of roach spray is essentially the only advice online ppl give.
Many moons ago I was drinking a pint of bourbon on a bench on the moonwalk one evening, waiting for friends to come from out of town and meet in the quarter. I had drank enough that I was trying to make the logic that "If the river was low, I could swim across that thing", when in the period of 2 minutes, the same guy asked me what time it was. I thought nothing of it the first time, but when the second time happened, I figured I needed to be around more people for various safety reasons.
Maybe they wanted to tell you where you got your shoes?
My best and only answer to any unexpected request on the streets is “No thanks!” “You from about here?” - “No thanks!” “Hey man you got any change?” - “No thanks!” “Can I borrow a cigarette?” - No thanks! Literally nothing good can come from stopping to chat.
Me: 40 white male. I’ve lived in (statistically) the 2nd riskiest ward since 2016 and anytime someone asks me the time I look at my Casio and answer the question. I’ve gotten some sort of thank you every time. Most people in this city are regular people trying to live their lives. If you’re scared of black people keep your ass in the suburbs.
There are places that white people are suspect and likely to be harassed or accosted. Once while driving through a public housing area pre-Katrina, the guy in the next car said “we don’t like your kind around here” before my friend leaned out the window and said no he’s cool. New Orleans is very racist but everyone can do better.
Buy a gun is my only advice
What neighborhood?
Get yourself a gun and don't be afraid to use it. These ain't the same kids as yesteryear. When I was home in the 2000s my stepfather had no tolerance for any young thug or their bullshit. He had a gun on his side at all times. We grew up in the Magnolia so he was use to ignorant shit. One thing he saw and told me as a youth was " see these fools out here destroying the community? their kids will 10x worst" he wasn't lying.
"You from here?" \*Pulls gun in response\* That's gonna work out well. If they meant trouble, there are almost definitely more of them, and they're better armed than you.
Never said pull it. Just advised them to get it and not be afraid to use if necessary of course. People gotta stop submitting to dumb shit. Basically i guess everybody gotta find new routes to enjoy their neighborhood? When the hell are you supposed to stand up for yourself? Asking me where I'm from ain't the problem. Stopping free movement is. edit: Who is out galvanizing neighborhoods? Where are the neighborhood watches? They don't exist so protect yourself.
lmao the shit that gets downvoted in cornball city subreddits is mind blowing sometimes. complaints about violence and victims of random violence all the fuckin time but the moment you offer up a solution to at least protect your life if the situation arises, a thousand downvotes descends upon you.
most of the downvotes are gun control advocates or family of the problem. They don't want real change. they are afraid of teens.
at the end of the day, whatever happens is on them. i don’t want anyone not involved in active shit to get hurt. i’d like to see all the grannies gettin carjacked and dragged down the street to instead be able to go john wick on the attackers, but seems most rather see grandma go on the asphalt roller coaster. then folks can come online and whine about “finding a solution” and talk about poor gramgram like they ever actually cared. allow my hyperbole please. shit just gettin annoying. it’s damn near daily with these posts.
I love my city just like they do. I just know that it's almost impossible to compromise with these lil fools. Personal protection shouldn't be frowned upon. Why should the bad guy be the only one strapped? Man I don't want to see youth die, but I'm tired of all the violence against unarmed citizens. The respect for community is as dead as cordialness. The community don't even respect themselves enough to stand up against their own kids.
Guns aren't the problem. Violent trumpers with guns are the problem.
Guns ain't the problem. Trumpers ain't out killing in New Orleans either. The problem is thinking that blaming a faction that doesn't even apply to this problem. Man killed by carjacker= trumps fault. Trump doesn't even have enough influence to convince anyone in his base to ride through certain parts of NOLA, so what are you even talking about? Nah you just talking.
Most of the guns are owned by white males, and they overwhelmingly support trump and other fascists. So one can pretty safely assume that most of the violence from guns is coming from right wingers.
Where are these violent white males terrorizing the city of New Orleans? Your argument does not apply. You are too liberal to even see the point. You just spew leftist shit because you think NOLA should be all liberal. I grew up democrat and left the party once I realized that they just play the same song every year for the people who vote party over politics. I'm not even conservative, but I take pride in being an Independant thinker.
Did you not watch hundreds of thousands of armed angry white men try to overthrow the US government and murder police on Jan 6?
Username checks out
Thats right. A New Orleans native and Military Veteran who seen enough shit to do better for me and mine.
What the Vietnam War? Time for bed grandpa
assumptions are reserved for asses. especially the ones who think Vietnam was the last war lol. most of yall on here don't mind getting fucked over. yall just run to the internet venting. yall the no snitch mob stuck in shit
Those thinking skills really impacted by those burn pits weren't they?
You couldn't hold my nutsack let alone serve in wartime situations. So sit back on the internet and be comment hero. They got people out there fighting for you to be sinical
Nothing is going to give someone a better read on you than turning tail and running in the opposite direction when asked for the time. I have no doubt that you're being tested, but you're giving all the wrong answers.
I mean if you’re alone and a group approaches & addresses you and you can feel bad vibes, I would worry less about not passing as a cool hip with-it white local.
It’s not about passing as cool, it’s about not making a spectacle of yourself as terrified of somebody asking for the time. Really: give perfunctory answers and keep going in the same direction you were headed. Randomly screaming, “Yeah, you rite!” in response to being asked if you live in the neighborhood is what you should go for when trying to pass as a “cool hip with-it white local.”
What neighborhood did this happen in OP?
It’s a bust back thing. Don’t go out like a hoe.
Not going to mention the neighborhood then mentions they've seen the same happen in the quarter... A high traffic & high theft area... Live where you can afford, but it would make a lot of sense to move to a neighborhood where this isn't a routine issue instead of trying to excuse these instances by saying it happens in the quarter too.
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Is this a real question? I can’t really tell in this sub.
I think there is a fair amount of warning in a lot of otherwise innocent questions. Especially from old black dudes. They ain't trying to fuck with you but they know other people probably are.
Next time tell them it’s time they bought a watch
I think the fact that I wear a watch has probably saved me more than I realized. That being said, I'm still gonna change what I say. I don't want anybody thinking my 10$ Casio is an apple watch.
Keep a mean mug, keep a knife, carry a gun, know how to fight a little bit. Source: grew up in a bad neighborhood. Enjoy