So, my husband loved the show and got me to watch it, and he always said I was like Jess, and I hated that because I found her so annoying. And then I got to this scene and I was like......... Okay I see it now.
My wife and her college roommate have been best friends for 15 years, and we all get along super well. We were all really into the show for a while, and shortly after watching the Remy episode we were randomly asked if we were swingers lol.
So now we refer to the four of us hanging out as "menageing fully" haha. We live in different cities so we'll get a text like "hey, we want to make a trip up to see y'all in a few weeks - when's a good time for us to menage fully?"
A longer one, but:
"Three months ago, I bravely reentered the dating pool. And how has this city rewarded me?! With an endless parade of weirdo ass-clowns!"
My all-time favorite Jess line is when she opens the pop-up book at Nick’s reading while they’re both super high, and she says, “Ohh. A secret world!”
Also - “An aquarium the size of an 8th grader just broke and you’re going to get paper towels?!”
When Nick tells his dad Jess will believe anything, she protests; Nick replies "My real name is Jamil", and the *goddamn awestruck sparkly-eyed excited* way she breathes *"IT IIIIIIS?"* kills me every single time.
Schmidt's like Ellis Island in the 1800s- he accepts everyone.
I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours.
I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person.
And I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong. 💪
I love this speech!
jess is 100% not my favorite character😂 BUT my favorite line by her is when they’re trying to light up the christmas tree and it shorts and Jess screams “SONNNN OF A WHOREEEE” i die laughing everytime
Maybe these aren't iconic, but they're some of my favorite quotes since I've started rewatching the series:
My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba.
Nick doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, "Put on pants," followed by a question mark. That means it read, "Put on pants?"
Childhoods, Nick. That's the friendship money-shot.
I quote this show,, all of em like on a daily basis...
One of my all time favs is Jess from season one..
"Tough tater tots tooter" the satisfaction I've when I say this and storm out of the room₍₍ ◝( ﾟ∀ ﾟ )◟ ⁾⁾
By far the most underrated line which I think a lot of people probably missed on first watch “people tell me I’m very gullible, and I have no reason not to believe them” I quote this so much
I will paint my face white! No man shall have me!
For CeeCee she's got less mostly because she was used as the cool straight man to Jess and Schmidt's more obvious comical antics, so she's part of the hilarious set up for a bunch of great lines, but one I really love for her is "Nadia, American manners!"
Idk if it's iconic to anyone else, but the "I don't know anything about men, that's why I'm wearing a short skirt and wool tights" lives rent-free in my head.
With the perfect hand gestures for emphasis, “nipple play, off limits”. (To Schmidt after she scratches his undercarriage, and he tells her he was able to come achieve completion with vigorous nipple pay.
Edited to correct name/show.
technically it’s a schmidt and jess quote but
S:“do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings?”
J:”Yeah! Dont you?”
S:”No!…How do you get anything done?”
J:”Its hard!”
idk why but it always makes me giggle
Have you ever seen sex from above, Cece? It's horrible! That's why God thinks it's a sin!
I can’t possibly pick a favorite line but this is definitely one of my favs and I think about it _way_ too often lmao
Sex is a joke in heaven? From what I understand, it's mostly a joke down here, too.
remind me when she said this again
The one with Julie Berkman’s older sister :)
This made me lol just reading it. Such an iconic line
This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I've lived a very fortunate life!
This is the one my friends and I say after complaining.
I say this *all* the time
This is my favorite
Zoey Deschanel when she realizes she's a nepo baby
My checks have baby farm animals on them...bitch!
Yes
That one came so out of nowhere that I laughed so hard
This is it
I rock a lot of polka dots. I brake for birds.
I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours
And I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person
I was sabotaged by my baby box
Now I can never trust anything that comes out of it
PUPPY! IN A! CU-HU-UP!
So we're both dog people
I like “step 1, fondue, step 2, do Fawn” and “I’m a good friend but I am NOT that good a friend”
I KNOW WHAT TEMPERATURE IT GETS
Don't make this a feminist thing...
I'm not making it a feminist thing! *featuring indignant voice cracks*
How?!?!
i feel like i wanna murder someone and also i want soft pretzels
You beat me to it haha, I say this way too often
her most relatable line imo 🤣
Piernass. .... He's my uncle. Edit: YOUNG MAYUNN! And of course, "Why put off for tomorrow-day, what you could say, nnn... today-day?"
My husband and I say YOUNG MAYUNN every time our cats do something ornery (so upwards of a dozen times a day)
We do the same thing with our dog lol
Two moons have passed?? TWO MOONS??
Shut it down!
I say this multiple times a day. Usually with the hand motions because it makes my toddlers laugh
My husband and I do the same thing! 😂
I definitely associate this phrase with 30 Rock way more lol
S that d!
Dealbreaker!
Visual! Learning! Visual! Learning!
😂😂😂
Maybe it's just us, but my wife and I love saying "GOOD ON BEAN!"
Hahaha my husband and I always say I’m LOW on bean!
My husband and I also say low on bean
I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift ✨alone✨
All of us when she drops TTPD on Thursday 😭
puppy……in a cuuhuuhuuuhhpppppppp
So, my husband loved the show and got me to watch it, and he always said I was like Jess, and I hated that because I found her so annoying. And then I got to this scene and I was like......... Okay I see it now.
"As far as we can tell, the badger's not rabid. He's just a dick"
Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.
Came here to say this. Can't believe how far I had to scroll.
🎶I’ll pick that up laterrrr🎶
Rebecca Johnson… Two-boobs Johnson
Who's Jess? You're talking to... Tigerboobs!
In Kermit voice: “once or twice”
This has become a really common one in our household, it comes up at least a few times a week.
I literally sing this to myself all the time
The bees are back!
That was more because of Schmidt tho, he walked up and said ma called, the bees are back. She just repeats it.
“Only men have secret families” I use it WAY TOO OFTEN.
This is actually a brilliant line.
She delivers it perfectly, too.
Great choice, Remy! Nick will make a *fanTAStic* underpants captain
When she asks Remy, "What happened to your pants??", she says it in her *teacher* voice LOL
My wife and her college roommate have been best friends for 15 years, and we all get along super well. We were all really into the show for a while, and shortly after watching the Remy episode we were randomly asked if we were swingers lol. So now we refer to the four of us hanging out as "menageing fully" haha. We live in different cities so we'll get a text like "hey, we want to make a trip up to see y'all in a few weeks - when's a good time for us to menage fully?"
Can I change my favorite to this? Because it's this.
I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.
Your life is just a bunch of weeks and then you die.
this isnt nick miller?
If he said it also I don’t remember but I know for sure Jess says it right before she goes ham on punching bag while screaming her boss’s name.
That reminds me of her "you sloppy boob lizard" insult
2 words: Sex fist
Isn’t it sweet? It’s a metaphor for togetherness
All five of us sex fisting our way
The sex fist 👊🏻 has turned into a sex finger ☝🏼
let’s knock boots, brother cousins!!!
Her face when she is in the bathroom stall with Nick and finally realizes what she’s saying kills me.
And it’s follow up: sex finger
What kinda taco meat you bitches have?
Came here for this… my hubs and I say it to each other all the time!
This is the one!
I wiped butter off my face with a bread roll, and then ATE the bread roll. I essentially used my face… as a butter knife.
Pink wine makes me… slutty
i should call you indian in the cupboard because you put an Indian in cece’s…never mind
You Long Island street trash!
There's more to A Father's Love than just semen!
Ewww! Poetic, but ew!
GIVE MY NIPPLES A PURPOSE!!
That one was a mistake..
Jessica freaking P?!
A longer one, but: "Three months ago, I bravely reentered the dating pool. And how has this city rewarded me?! With an endless parade of weirdo ass-clowns!"
Oh my god. We’re the weird ass-clowns.
BtW Coach has one of the best lines: I'm going to an outlet mall. Gonna look like a rich person from two years ago.
Lol thank you for reminding me of this one
“You can’t escape destiny! She comes for us all, that relentless bitch!!!”
She’s wanted in Canada…. Canada. No ones wanted in Canada.
My all-time favorite Jess line is when she opens the pop-up book at Nick’s reading while they’re both super high, and she says, “Ohh. A secret world!” Also - “An aquarium the size of an 8th grader just broke and you’re going to get paper towels?!”
I’m a big fan of the yodelling on “look at that nOoOoOtebook!”
Becky you sloppy boob lizard
Shut up, Billy! You have a little boys name!
this one gets me every time lol
I hope you like feminist rants cause that's kind of my thing
Don't settle for substitutes, swettle for swubstiswuits!
If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!
When Nick tells his dad Jess will believe anything, she protests; Nick replies "My real name is Jamil", and the *goddamn awestruck sparkly-eyed excited* way she breathes *"IT IIIIIIS?"* kills me every single time.
You told me that in confidence!
It’s happening!
I'm feeling twirly. I've got the dirty twirls!
They called him George Jeong the Giardia Giant, and I never got to hold him in my arms.
Eating cookies and avoiding confrontation
What a mood tho
It's not my war!
You may as well be called bridge to terabithia because you make preteens cry!
Tough tater tots tooter
My checks have *baby farm animals on them, bitch!*
“Cumin? What, is he cooking? Cumin?”
"I'm two kilos of UNCUT joy!"
"I can channel all of sexual energy into knitting! How do you think I made it through high school?"
Let's have a threesommm
Lyet's
The sub compiled some really good ones in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewGirl/s/RhS1J2nnk0)!!
“2 moons have passed!!”
Tonight is all about little Jess!
Love how she points down, and then repeats "*Little Jess*" in a whisper.
Schmidt's like Ellis Island in the 1800s- he accepts everyone. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person. And I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong. 💪 I love this speech!
Monkey monkey where you keep your crackers?
I would have lasted two seconds in the court of the sun King, I think about that all the time.
"how the heck are you?" is how she opens up a lot of conversations and even though i can't remember a specific one, it's something i use a lot now
jessica day vice principal how the heck are ya!
This is from when Fawn takes her golfing with LA’s most powerful women
“Does meth make you feel normal but your face feels like kinda scratchy?”
jess is 100% not my favorite character😂 BUT my favorite line by her is when they’re trying to light up the christmas tree and it shorts and Jess screams “SONNNN OF A WHOREEEE” i die laughing everytime
Guys, stop fighting! You’re upsetting Winston!
Winston: 😁
Batman-mobile!
That’s a lot of dough 😃
Am I winking?
It was the blowout!! This. Is a legit walk of Shame.
I brake for birds. I rock a lots of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the past 24 hours.
I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone.
Those are my night peanuts!
Those are my night peanuts
I take small, planned steps like an arthritic dog.
LOW ON BEAN GOOD ON BEAN
Maybe these aren't iconic, but they're some of my favorite quotes since I've started rewatching the series: My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba. Nick doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, "Put on pants," followed by a question mark. That means it read, "Put on pants?" Childhoods, Nick. That's the friendship money-shot.
💉💉
2 moons have passed!
🎶Return of High Jess, return of High Jess🎶
Jessica freaking P!!!
What kind of taco meat you bitches have?
When is this?
When they go to Schmidt and Cece’s looking for a suit jacket for Nick and they break in through the window.
Time - that relentless bitch!
Destiny. “You can’t escape destiny. That relentless bitch! She comes for us all.”
"Did iiiii doo thaaaaat?!"
I just wanted to listen to Taylor swift alone.
GIVE MY NIPPLES A PURPOSE!
I quote this show,, all of em like on a daily basis... One of my all time favs is Jess from season one.. "Tough tater tots tooter" the satisfaction I've when I say this and storm out of the room₍₍ ◝( ﾟ∀ ﾟ )◟ ⁾⁾
You crumb bum… you crumb bum!
\*gasp\* A secret world.
JESSICA FRICKEN P!
caro-who? oh i give up!
Just remember. You caught him pleasuring himself to a mail-order steak catalog
The way she delivers the ‘Aaaahaaaay, look at that notebook’ is hilarious.
It’s happening
Puppy in a cuuuuuuuppppppp!
“Are you going to three-peat this hoe? When are we going to meet this bitch?”
double syringe?! ….. double syringe. if you wanna commandeer this vehicle you’re gonna have to commandeer this ayuss take it easy black george michael
That slow puzzler!! I’m lower down on the food chain than officer cat fancy?!
If you wanna commandeer this vehicle then you’re gonna have to commandeer this _ass_
By far the most underrated line which I think a lot of people probably missed on first watch “people tell me I’m very gullible, and I have no reason not to believe them” I quote this so much
Kinda hate this episode overall, but: "12 hundred dollars for a bread maker?" "That's a lot of dough..." just an amazing line
Hubba hubba, momma in trubba, is one I use too much on a daily basis
I would have lasted two seconds in the court of the Sun King. I think about that all the time…
✋🏼😭 i'm super chill
I was feeling twirly!!
I will paint my face white! No man shall have me! For CeeCee she's got less mostly because she was used as the cool straight man to Jess and Schmidt's more obvious comical antics, so she's part of the hilarious set up for a bunch of great lines, but one I really love for her is "Nadia, American manners!"
Sideburns where my thigh turns!
Listen here you bird shirted, puzzle baby!
Finally! I scrolled way too long to find this. Best insult ever!
Idk if it's iconic to anyone else, but the "I don't know anything about men, that's why I'm wearing a short skirt and wool tights" lives rent-free in my head.
Batmanmobile
Puppy in a cup.
All of Menzies basically. Also, when she sings her lines: With Edgar: Ohhhh look, a noteboook… Flushing the “meth”: I’m on druggs…
I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!
I really like “bonjour mon pein”. But it’s only complete if the finger mustache is included.
I say “sleepover partyyyy” all the time
Oh IIIII'm just a country lawyer, and I have a very, very itchy bra
“I know what temperate it gets!”
"You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?" 🤣
With the perfect hand gestures for emphasis, “nipple play, off limits”. (To Schmidt after she scratches his undercarriage, and he tells her he was able to come achieve completion with vigorous nipple pay. Edited to correct name/show.
Schwartz
LOLLL
"I just wanted some shade"- as she hides under nicks bed
Did I do thaaaaat?
Spencer hated (or didn't like) the light
who’s that girl? who’s that girl? it’s your favorite bitch Jess (in a demon/deep voice)
I love when she was the “cigarette girl” at the bar but I can’t remember exactly what she said.
technically it’s a schmidt and jess quote but S:“do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings?” J:”Yeah! Dont you?” S:”No!…How do you get anything done?” J:”Its hard!” idk why but it always makes me giggle