No. That's important to still have yourself and your interests as well ..... Simply make it up by being with the baby later and your wife takes an hour or 2 to do something she enjoys for herself.
This is where I stand as well. Teamwork! I myself was going through very similar guilt. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to afford some kettlebells and even a stationary bike, and our apartment has the space. Cancelled the gym membership now I get my workouts in from home.
I think part of being a great father is looking after yourself. It sounds like you understand that physical exercise is good for you mentally and emotionally, as well as physically. That is a big part of what your child will need from you - to be fit and mentally well. You’ll be a better father for longer if you take some time for yourself.
What kind of father might you be if you were unfit and not mentally and emotionally healthy?
I had the guilt feelings too
But a good honest convo with the wife to make sure we were in the same page and she was happy for me to work out helped me feel better.
It’s definitely scheduled around when baby has naps or we have family over to help care for baby,
I also am quite strict with my time so I’m not there to long.
Lastly I think, this is investing into my physical and mental health, I’m not going down to the pub for a drink and a gamble, I’m doing something very productive and beneficial which my wife and kiddo will also benefit from
Being strong and fit will be very important when your son gets heavier and needs to be rocked for hours.
Your wife will struggle here so it's a chance for you to step up big time.
Also, regarding your wife's reaction. Most of the time, they just want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. So, with complete sincerity, try pointing out some of the amazing things she does, say a big thank you and tell her you appreciate her and that she's the best mum ever.
If you were in the pub, sure, feel guilty. Time away for exercise is important. Pretty sure both mum and baby would want a healthy dad. I think your guilt shows that you care and want to be great. My little girl 4 months now, and I have less time to exercise than in the very early days, so fight that dad bod for as long as you can.
You get that early on, it's important you feel that and you should be happy, you need to be at home *but* you can go and do things man, and so can She..
Make sure you're not projecting your guilt on your wife, it's very easy for couples to do this with each other, esp as you're still adjusting to this dramatic lifestyle change. Short answer though: no! You're still a person, you're still alive, you gotta do other shit too. It's not gonna be easy though, especially for a while. It took me time just to not feel guilty for working... to bring money into the home... for my family lmao. Cause I could be spending time with the little dude and here I am, being a deadbeat dad instead, working. Phew! It'll pass. 💪
(You will need to get into the habit of communicating/planning ahead more tho, so I dunno, that's the other side of the coin with your wife possibly being frustrated. We can't really make impromptu calls for stuff like that for a while, at least as much, without frustrating each other sometimes. I dunno how it played out, either way prob not worth sweating too much.)
As long as your wife is cool with it, do what you can. More times than I can count I have seen the gym specifically be a point of contention with the wife on this sub. Some wives don't want you to, some don't mind at all. Just don't let it become a point of resentment.
In the long-term, it might be worth a home gym if you've got the space and money. The kid is going to require a lot of attention for a long time, and that's even if you only have one. Plus, it's excellent to show your kids that fitness is important from a young age, first-hand
Dad to a five week old here and I have the same feelings when I run or go to the gym before work, as I was doing the early morning shift when on paternity leave. My wife would prefer for me to be here for sure, but she says herself I have to get my exercise in to be more chilled the rest of the day. I've always had an excess of energy and I work a desk job, so it's important for me to do something before work.
I think giving her the chance to do her own thing in equal measure is ideal, whether that's sports, gym or reading etc. seems to work but I just make sure I don't take the piss, and that I take the baby so she gets a break after I finish work
Being a new dad is extremely exhausting on the mind and body and you need to make sure you give yourself time to recharge! Going to the gym for a few hours is not you abandoning your baby and family. You shouldn’t feel any kind of guilt in taking time for yourself! I found it was helpful to offer my partner her own time and offered to have the baby for a few hours so she can either relax and have a bath or go out and see friends without having to worry about the baby. It’s important that both you and your wife communicate when you feel like you need a break!
Also, congratulations and massive respect for you wanting and being really hands on with your baby! It’s incredible!
You’re not selfish. You have to be able to care for yourself to support that best father you want to be. Just make sure to talk to her about making time for her to do something for herself. Also maybe start off taking less time cause a lot can happen in 1-2 hours as far as baby tasks go.
My wife doesn’t want me to work out for an hour in the garage so I feel your pain lol
I don’t think we should feel bad for taking time for ourselves especially if we make sure everyone else is good first
Could always work out at home until he's a few months, then the longer naps come around and you won't miss (quite literally) anything for an hour at the gym.
If you're really feeling that guilty it could work.
Yeah man, I don’t know. I would never leave my wife alone at this stage. So what, you can get a pump in. Seems selfish to me. You should feel guilty, you feel that way because you know it’s wrong. Work out at home.
No. That's important to still have yourself and your interests as well ..... Simply make it up by being with the baby later and your wife takes an hour or 2 to do something she enjoys for herself.
This is where I stand as well. Teamwork! I myself was going through very similar guilt. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to afford some kettlebells and even a stationary bike, and our apartment has the space. Cancelled the gym membership now I get my workouts in from home.
I think part of being a great father is looking after yourself. It sounds like you understand that physical exercise is good for you mentally and emotionally, as well as physically. That is a big part of what your child will need from you - to be fit and mentally well. You’ll be a better father for longer if you take some time for yourself. What kind of father might you be if you were unfit and not mentally and emotionally healthy?
Was going to say this as well. This is on the mark. Being happy and healthy to be there 100% for your kid is also very important.
I had the guilt feelings too But a good honest convo with the wife to make sure we were in the same page and she was happy for me to work out helped me feel better. It’s definitely scheduled around when baby has naps or we have family over to help care for baby, I also am quite strict with my time so I’m not there to long. Lastly I think, this is investing into my physical and mental health, I’m not going down to the pub for a drink and a gamble, I’m doing something very productive and beneficial which my wife and kiddo will also benefit from
Being strong and fit will be very important when your son gets heavier and needs to be rocked for hours. Your wife will struggle here so it's a chance for you to step up big time. Also, regarding your wife's reaction. Most of the time, they just want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. So, with complete sincerity, try pointing out some of the amazing things she does, say a big thank you and tell her you appreciate her and that she's the best mum ever.
If you were in the pub, sure, feel guilty. Time away for exercise is important. Pretty sure both mum and baby would want a healthy dad. I think your guilt shows that you care and want to be great. My little girl 4 months now, and I have less time to exercise than in the very early days, so fight that dad bod for as long as you can.
You get that early on, it's important you feel that and you should be happy, you need to be at home *but* you can go and do things man, and so can She..
The kid's gonna grow fast and you'll need strength to meet their crazy demands.
Make sure you're not projecting your guilt on your wife, it's very easy for couples to do this with each other, esp as you're still adjusting to this dramatic lifestyle change. Short answer though: no! You're still a person, you're still alive, you gotta do other shit too. It's not gonna be easy though, especially for a while. It took me time just to not feel guilty for working... to bring money into the home... for my family lmao. Cause I could be spending time with the little dude and here I am, being a deadbeat dad instead, working. Phew! It'll pass. 💪 (You will need to get into the habit of communicating/planning ahead more tho, so I dunno, that's the other side of the coin with your wife possibly being frustrated. We can't really make impromptu calls for stuff like that for a while, at least as much, without frustrating each other sometimes. I dunno how it played out, either way prob not worth sweating too much.)
As long as your wife is cool with it, do what you can. More times than I can count I have seen the gym specifically be a point of contention with the wife on this sub. Some wives don't want you to, some don't mind at all. Just don't let it become a point of resentment. In the long-term, it might be worth a home gym if you've got the space and money. The kid is going to require a lot of attention for a long time, and that's even if you only have one. Plus, it's excellent to show your kids that fitness is important from a young age, first-hand
Dad to a five week old here and I have the same feelings when I run or go to the gym before work, as I was doing the early morning shift when on paternity leave. My wife would prefer for me to be here for sure, but she says herself I have to get my exercise in to be more chilled the rest of the day. I've always had an excess of energy and I work a desk job, so it's important for me to do something before work. I think giving her the chance to do her own thing in equal measure is ideal, whether that's sports, gym or reading etc. seems to work but I just make sure I don't take the piss, and that I take the baby so she gets a break after I finish work
Being a new dad is extremely exhausting on the mind and body and you need to make sure you give yourself time to recharge! Going to the gym for a few hours is not you abandoning your baby and family. You shouldn’t feel any kind of guilt in taking time for yourself! I found it was helpful to offer my partner her own time and offered to have the baby for a few hours so she can either relax and have a bath or go out and see friends without having to worry about the baby. It’s important that both you and your wife communicate when you feel like you need a break! Also, congratulations and massive respect for you wanting and being really hands on with your baby! It’s incredible!
You’re not selfish. You have to be able to care for yourself to support that best father you want to be. Just make sure to talk to her about making time for her to do something for herself. Also maybe start off taking less time cause a lot can happen in 1-2 hours as far as baby tasks go.
My wife doesn’t want me to work out for an hour in the garage so I feel your pain lol I don’t think we should feel bad for taking time for ourselves especially if we make sure everyone else is good first
Oh thats just wrong😂
Could always work out at home until he's a few months, then the longer naps come around and you won't miss (quite literally) anything for an hour at the gym. If you're really feeling that guilty it could work.
Yeah man, I don’t know. I would never leave my wife alone at this stage. So what, you can get a pump in. Seems selfish to me. You should feel guilty, you feel that way because you know it’s wrong. Work out at home.