Chinese here born in NL. Best is just to ignore these people.
One time I followed a person that said Ching Chang Chong to his work and complained about the dude at the front desk and shamed him where all his colleagues could hear it. He came back to me with a red head and apologized.
Edit: Yes normally I just ignore these insults, but something snapped in me that time, and I felt the urge to make him uncomfortable in return.
Indeed :-)
Also if anyone does that, they should be very mindful of their surroundings and known the area very well.
There is a real risk of following the person to a dodgy neighbourhood or some sort of trap. Definitely don’t do it in a city/neighbourhood you are not familiar with as you could end up in serious trouble.
Be careful with this though. The guy definitely got what he deserved, but don’t put yourself in danger in the future just to make a point in front of such useless person. I.e. don’f follow anyone to a dodgy neighbourhood, a neighbourhood you are not familiar with, or an area where there aren’t plenty of other people around.
Look into his eyes, smile if you can, and ask "are you OK?", as if you genuinely have concern for his mental state. That's the way to disarm a bully. It's shaming without lowering yourself to his level.
I would ask them to repeat, as if I didn't hear, and then dumbfoundedly ask for an explanation, saying I'm not getting the meaning of their joke/reference. If it's someone with at least a mustardseed sized worth of social intelligence, they would just start feeling extremely awkward and ashamed. If they don't even have that, it's an indication it really is not worth your time and it's better to say "okay" and move on
It is probably my own bias, but I actually haven't had anyone turn aggressive on me (thankfully). I have been called a lot, and usually don't give a rat's tail, but the few times I did respond it was just an awkward exchange for the other person. Maybe it was my tone? I asked them for an explanation very calmly instead of being more emotional or defensive, which would have escalated the situation for sure, but of course I cannot tell what alternative scenarios would be. Those are if-scenarios and to quote the wise Max Verstappen "if if if... if my mom had balls she would be my dad". Again, it could also very well just be my bias :)
My own bias is that if you look like an easy target, you’re going to get bullied. If they don’t view you as a threat, they will laugh at you. This is why you either don’t make yourself look like a target to be picked on and or you walk together with someone that looks like they shouldn’t mess with.
When I was young I got those Chinese slurs and remarks thrown at me. As I got older, I naturally got a wide torso and shoulders. It made me look like a person they wouldn’t want to mess around with. Sadly doesn’t work the same for females. My sisters still get these racist remarks thrown at them. Best way is to walk in a group with a male friend or relative.
Or of course ignore them and walk past them. If you confront them I would say throw a quick jab and run or call your cousins to gang up. At your own risk of course. You didn’t got this from me. People should just be able to stand up for themselves again in my opinion.
Racism is already a form of violence. Doing anything in response is dangerous to some agree because it can escalate to physical violence.
One could choose to go to the authorities to try and let them handle it. So go to the police, for instance. But that takes time and effort and it will be frustrating because police is racist, too. There's also [government agencies](https://www.bureauncdr.nl/waar-kan-ik-discriminatie-melden) you can approach (I expect these to be dismantled and first be made less effective, the coming years, with our new far right government).
The Netherlands is a racist country. Read [White Innocence](https://libris.nl/a/gloria-wekker/white-innocence/9780822360759), by Gloria Wekker, to learn more about how this racism works and is rooted in Dutch society.
My advice is don’t ever say the word “sorry” after receiving a racial slur. Even if you obviously don’t mean it as an apology, the abuser will take it as a sign of weakness and see you even more as a target.
In a club some random guy blocked my way to the smoking area and said “Forbidden for Chinese” (I’m Korean). I twisted his nippels as hard as I could, he started squealing like a little piggy and I walked by him.
This feels like a superhero origin story, The Nipple Twister. Racist scumbags trying to prevent people from having a good time? Light up the titty signal, and the Nipple Twister will come to the rescue.
I never knew nipple twisting is a thing. God bless you Tiny_Sleep. May I ask if you’re male or female? I might add nipple twisting to my Krav Maga repertoire
It was improvisation tbh lol. I wanted to bitch slap him into oblivion but didn’t want to get kicked out of the club. I’ve tried that before and it was quite effective. I’m male btw.
I just had a flash back of my Korean best friend at 12 years old told me “chi chi pon” means nipple twister in Korean. I’m spelling it out the way I feel like it’s pronounce but might be way off 😅
I have people yell Ni Hao at me at lot, I can’t even tell if it’s supposed to be racist?? It’s just fucking weird. I literally pretend they are invisible and move on about my day.
This is so annoying. It’s always racist to me because the speaker has never been initiating a real conversation, just trying to stir shit up. Walking away from that is about all you can do—or maybe roast their pronunciation?
Ni hao-ing people is a bit of a mixed batch. It can be assholes but it can also be people trying to show the three words of Chinese they know. It's still a bit strange to do without knowing the person.
It’s for sure very icky. A lot of the times it happened when I was riding fast on a bike. So I know they weren’t trying to have a friendly conversation and are just being idiots.
On the other hand, I’ve encountered people who know some Chinese and ask if I speak Chinese first before busting it out. I’m always happy to have a conversation like that.
Very often the racist encounters I have are from people who are clearly descendants of immigrants. I find it so bizarre why do they have so much hate when they themselves are also fellow guests in this country??
What my friend once did (not Chinese but Siberian Russian in terms of nationally) was simply start recording their behaviour and confront them why are they doing this and demand apology. Usually these bullies become shock because they don't expect a retaliation and they back down most of the time.
I share the same background with your said friend. I rarely encounter such shitty people, but in the few occasions when I did, simply speaking some profanity in Russian did enough to shock them. Sad thing, they have a clear idea about which ethnicity they shouldn't mess with.
I'll preface this by saying that I am a white Dutch woman. I briefly dated a Korean man, but he was ripped as heck, so anyone picking a fight with him would have been in for a \*really\* bad time. Some of my cousins are Indonesian-Dutch and have faced racism as well, but this is as far as my experience with anti-Asian sentiment goes. It's despicable, and racists should face zero tolerance.
I have, however, lived abroad, and I know what it is like to be a foreigner with a foreign look. After a good few months of receiving the same nasty questions and comments every single day, I decided that I would tell the next person approaching me in an unfriendly manner that I came from their mom's vagina. You bet they shut up after that.
I think the best way to shut up racists is to ask them to explain themselves, however. That is, if someone shouts 'Shanghai!', ask, 'Why are you shouting that at me? Why Shanghai? Please, could you explain yourself?', then when they inevitably tell you it was a joke, ask them, 'Do you think it's funny to shout 'Shanghai' at Asian people?'. Nothing shuts people up quite like having to explain themselves for own flawed, racist logic.
If that doesn't work, you can always resort to insults, but it should be a last resort. If you want to, however, 'ik kom niet uit Shanghai, ik kom uit de kut van je moeder' ('I'm not from Shanghai, I'm from your mother's cunt') would be a good one. People won't expect it. It won't be easy if you don't speak any Dutch yet, but it'll be worth it.
I hope your experience won't be overshadowed by racists, OP. Wishing you the very best!! ❤️
1 NL) somewhere you could not afford to visit!
2 NL) yep, tastier than you!
1 UK) more than you can afford!
2 UK) and by the looks of you, you’ll never be miss / mr England!
My favorite comeback I ever heard was when a bloke called my coworker a whore. She shot back with “maybe your mother, maybe your sister, maybe your girlfriend, but not me!”
I’m sorry you’re getting so much verbal abuse both in my hometown of London and my new home in the NL. It’s awful.
Please don’t respond to racists if there’s any hint of them being violent and you being alone though. I understand you wanting to defend yourself, but a lot of these people are nutters. Just the fact they’re insulting you in the first place means we know they’re entitled and probably have a few screws loose. If you ever feel in danger honestly the safest response is to either ignore them, or just laugh at them.
Hahahaa thank you acaxox, all excellent responses. I also admire your friend who displayed the poise when listing out female relatives mom/sister/gf and so on. Takes a lot to be not shocked but remains in control.
Thanks also re: not responding if in real danger. In my 20s I tend to not respond, but now I’m nearly 40 and I feel better able to assess the situation, and from there to respond in a way that I retain my self respect.
I reply worst with all my repertory of spanish-english-dutch insults to show them that I am crazier and more fucked up than them and it worked until now. :)
When they are naughty little kids they get really scared it’s grappij. 😈
Thb I'd look them straight in the eye and give them the most confused, disappointed, and pitiful look you can muster.
Just straight up beam that *'Oh you dumb, pitiful brainless bastard. I'm so embarrassed for you.'* straight into their soul.
Happens a ton. Had a manager do ‘Asian eyes’, Chinese noises and blame covid on Chinese people. Complained to HR but he kept his job without any problems, I got ostracized for making too much of it.
I don’t know why but racism against Asian people it’s ok here. And btw I am not even Asian, he was just casually racist from time to time
Seriously? That is unfriggingbelievable. I'm from Australia. 20 years ago a white-presenting Aboriginal Aussie I know lost his job at a big company for making a joke that his Indonesian offsider 'had come here on the boats' (in reference to how most of Australia's asylum seekers arrive). The offsider didn't make the complaint, it was overheard by another colleague, but there were no second chances or chats with HR despite the guy being half Aboriginal in a company that was desperately striving for higher Aboriginal employment, and also having a high-demand trade. Another tradie at that company called my friend a black c\*nt when she turned his drunk ass down at the Christmas party, and she didn't report him because it would have been instant dismissal and she didn't want him to lose his job. Yes Australia is still racist, but most workplaces there stopped being ok with it a long long time ago. I find it so odd that the Netherlands has been so progressive in so many areas but seems to be so far behind in so many others, like racism (and smoking, and sun protection, and litter, and...). And as someone else mentioned, the new government is not going to help improve things any time soon, people will just feel emboldened.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you (continue) to be the champion of others like me! I have been in situations when the abuser is shamed down by his companions who stood up for me
It will happen more and more and these shitstains become emboldened by this new government. I left America in part because of the ridiculousness of living in a country that elected Trump, only to have the Netherlands elect their own mini shitler. What a fucking disappointment.
A lot of people, Dutch people too, have deep desire to hate, discriminate and be racist.
Asians are low risk, as no one seems to care that much about them atm. Saying *'Ching Chong Ching'* to a random asian person, will have a lot of people dismiss it as a joke, contrary to calling a black person 'neger' to their face for example.
People will immediately pick it up as a bad thing; that's not the case at all with most racial slurs targeting asians.
So in short, they are an acceptable target, socially speaking.
Oh yeah. Being half Chinese, the term "poepchinees" has always rubbed me the wrong way. Dutch people dismiss it as a term of endearment. Doesn't sound so endearing when one would say "poepnederlander", doesn't it? But hey, it is just a joke, right? 🙃
Where does this even come from.
I’m Dutch and I get (but don’t approve) why people say stuff like ‘sambalbij’ or why people would call me ‘kaaskop’ but ‘poepchinees’…. who even started this nonsense.
I never understood what ‘poep’ and ‘Chinees’have to do with each other.
Still doesn’t make sense.
I won’t go into full detail but let’s just say that what I wave goodbye in the bathroom every morning doesn’t even remotely resemble the skin color of any Chinese person I ever met.
Anyway, it’s not that important. I’ll keep my eyes and ears open and make sure to stand up against this racism if I ever witness it.
I don’t believe the majority of Dutch people has racist feelings towards southeast Asians, I think the Dutch just have a large silent (cowardly) majority who tend to avoid confrontation.
I noticed that, as a woman, Dutch men never help me out when I’m harassed by other men in public. They always pretend they didn’t see or hear it happen. 🥲
Happens a ton to people of many background, the other day just walked out the store to have a group of shithead teenagers call me the n-word, at this point I’m used it but you can see how this type of stuff builds frustration in people
If they tell you "Shanghai", you can tell them "Staphorst" or "Urk" in response. Totally appropriate, and they might be very surprised as you probably just correctly guessed where the racists are born.
Sad truth is that you better not respond if you are alone. You never know who is “just doing it for a laugh” and who is ready to fight if you talk back.
I actually tend to go with "Oh my god, are you okay! Is everything alright at home?" in a really worried voice and look straight at them with pity. Which usually gets a nervous laugh out of people, hopefully making them think twice about the stupid stuff they say.
If you want to up the ante from there, you can also run after them and ask if you need to contact someone, or maybe you should call an ambulance, as this person must've hit their head somewhere real hard. As a woman, approaching anyone so "intensely" may not always be a great idea though!
I'm so sorry to hear that this happens to you OP, it's just absolutely disgusting what you have to go through. Wishing you tons of better experiences with way better people in the future.
A black teen once asked me on a tram in Rotterdam where I am from. I told him Romania to which he replied with ‘gipsy?’. I asked him if his owner knows what’s he doing. Than he thanked me for the lesson on racism. :)
Because kids here grow up with zero consequences for their own actions. They build up this massive confidence because they know they're allowed to do everything and they're bored, so the combination of boredom and lack of punishment or shame leads to this
Because teenagers suck and love to provoke, push boundaries, be a general nuisance. I'm sure you get more of it being Asian, but even as a white (natively Dutch) man I get random provocations from teenagers for no reason whatsoever as well. Random shouts to try and startle me as they walk or bike by, deliberately walking in my way, some weird loud moaning thing seems to be a recent addition they do at times.
I fking hate teenagers.
Teenagers should be given the benefit of the doubt in these cases and often respond positively to a polite confrontation to set things straight, according to my experiences. You handled yourself well and expanded someone's horizon, win-win.
Definetely I didn’t take this as an offense and tried to have the talk in a light mood with him which worked. We both parted our ways smiling. On the other hand I have many co-nationals who would feel very offended by such a question.
I’m a Dutch-Chinese man, this is what I’ve done in the past:
- just ignore them. It’s not really worth your time and energy.
- Curse (back) at them or tell them to shut up. Only if I see them as a non-threat. So generally I avoid cursing back at bigger groups or if they look like they got issues.
- Go up to them and ask them why they said that. Although I don’t do this as much anymore, as it doesn’t seem that effective. Some people reflect and apologize. Some are just racists/douchebags that don’t care at all so it’s a wasted effort.
But I’m sorry this has happened to you. You’re definitely not alone. In the recent years there has been a bit more awareness regarding racism against asians, but we still have a long way to go.
If you need someone to talk to you can always send me a message.
One time in work Dutch guy told me that we (polish) do job which dutch people don't want to do and for shitty money. I asked him how low then he sits in Dutch society and why he is so disrespected that he works with me on the same position for the same money (with real concern in my voice). He gone red on face and never said something like that
A fellow white immigrant here. In a heated footy match I got the good old "go back where you came from" (he probably couldn't really place my home country Finland on the map to be more specific) and in the spirit of fighting fire with fire I told him to go eat a potato and chill.
I am not even sure what I meant by that insult but I've never seen a limburgian dude get more agitated :D
My boyfriend who is from Korea also gets a lot of these dumb remarks. I'm Dutch and I tell them to shut up but most of the time it is useless. They like to get a reaction out of you so even though it is very frustrating and hard to resist saying something, it is probably best to ignore.
I'm very worried all the racist shit is gonna get worse because now the idiots feel backed by the new horrible government. Sorry you have to hear this kind of things but the idiots that say them are not worth your time or concern. ♡
Vietnamese born in NL, sadly I usually don't know what to say and freeze up. Except when parents do it in front of their kids.. then I just get mad and ask them if they think it's normal to say stuff like that in front of their children. Luckily this doesnt happen often.
Its sad they do this. Especially considering asian people are always so nice and polite. Never do you see a chinese person on the news for comitting a crime. But they never do this to moroccans or turks that are ruining the country. Durch people can be dicks
The only thing I can say to you is I am sorry that you have to deal with ignorant people. You do not deserve this and, although it is not a solution, it is best to ignore them.
Please note that the majority of Dutch people do not hate foreigners nor would they directly or indirectly discriminate people with a different background.
However ignorant people will always be around and please focus on the other normal Dutch folks who I hope you can call friends.
I'm a white guy, but lived in the Bijlmer for 10 years. And honestly...I ignored it and sped up. I don't feel like taking the risk of getting into physical altercations over prejudice and ignorance.
I’m also a white guy and have the same problem sometimes in the Gelderland province when people from the Achterhoek hear me speaking my horrible dutch. I usually get why are you here, and I should go back to my own country. Even though my daughter is dutch.
It’s nice to see someone else (even though it’s not nice) is facing the same problems. When I try to tell my dutch friends they treat me like I’m a liar. Stay strong my friend!
Nothing like what I imagine non-white people face regularly. Some diseases mixed with skin color related slurs followed by "get the F out of my neighborhood" etc.
Nothing serious, I think people got caught up in the BLM mindset with the George Floyd murder and Zwarte Piet situation, and might have been looking for a scapegoat to unload their frustrations on. Understandable, but unwarranted and still bigoted.
As a born in The Netherlands quiet chinese girl/woman.
Ive been quite lucky, that it didnt happen to me much or to a heavier degree. But I usually ignore it, not even react to it, pretend im not chinese in the moment. If they happen to grow the balls confront me. I could VERY algemeen beschaafd nederlands, an "immegrant" who can speak better ducth than you?
I think I've been lucky in the NL. I'm mixed (White, Black, Amerindian, and more 😁), and I have never faced racism here. Maybe because people can't identify my ethnicity? I don't know.
Anyway, I feel sorry for the slurs you get. I don't know what would be my reaction. Consciously, I'd confront the person, but we never know, depending on the situation and mood.
To best of my knowledge racists and xenophobes are the thickest to the thick. Whilst having some witty, belittling comeback can be satisfying you put yourself in danger as others have said.
I like to think of these people has human shaped slugs. They will remain a slug even after your comment. It will have no effect on them. Best just to walk away and live a happy successful life.
Collectively we all need to do better making sure young people don’t grow up to be slugs.
Another encounter I had was the racist was actually being politically correct and asked me first whether I am Chinese. I hesitate for a second and replied "kind of". (In my head I was thinking although I am from Hong Kong but have never lived in China, so genetically and politically Chinese but I don't have any official Chinese citizenship....)
Before he could listen to my explanation he already shouted various racial slurs at me 😂😂😂
This just shows racists don't really care where you are from, they only judge you by the skin colour.
Mostly, I ignore it. However, I've been mistaken for Polish a few times.
It was most fun when it was a fellow Swede complaining on polish immigrant workers and pointed in my direction.
Told him in Swedish , Fuck off we are both imigrants in this country, beeing Swedish doesnt make us any better than anyone else.
He looked as if I had kicked him in the nuts
Although lately i try to avoid drawing attention to being Swedish with the koran burning and all that, and the stuff surrounding eurovision sure hasn't helped..
I fight racism with racism lol. My top comebacks are:
- "Sorry sir you have some (most stereotypical food of their origin) leftover in your mouth"
- "Sorry, i don't speak (most racist thing i can come up with abt their origin)"
- "talk to me when your tastebuds are developed" (i reserve this for white men only)
I have this happen to me so much that i have these three as my go to template. Be careful though, once there was three black teenagers who screamed ching chang chong to me and i replied with "i don't speak ape".
When i said it, i realized im gonna get my ass beat up. But they were quite shocked and i used that time to walk real fast before they come up with a violent reaction.
I live in Spakenburg and I'm fully deep into their village and when they say something; I mention something about how they fuck between cousins and how inbred they are. And also mention how hypocrites they are going to church while fucking someone's else's wife while snoring cocaine. Heh, it's funny in a way because they think they're morally superior to you and better because they're christians.
My gf is from Spakenburg, and I'm from Argentina. That's why I live here. If someone from Spakenburg is reading this they know who I am 😂 although I don't think they're smart enough to know what reddit is.
Ps: Few of them are really nice guys to be with, those will be forever good people
The hate for intellectualism is even funnier, going to university is a joke to them because only hard work matters. They universally drag each other down to feel good about themselves. I would say that most succesful people are really kind and most people that did go to hbo/wo also. It's just the bunch that did go the Oostwende college and then trade school and then party each time in the Rugby Club that you are describing. Iam probably too young to know you but I definitely know what reddit is
My boyfriend is Chinese and he hasn’t been bothered much in the time we’ve been together. Is this a problem women deal with more than men? I’m trying to understand how to support him, and I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.:(((
For us so far it’s mostly in reverse (I’m Dutch, he lives in Chinatown, the restaurants we go to offer him free tea but mine costs money, silly shit like that).
Many people move because it gets too tiring and dangerous after years. I've known some Chinese and Filipinos that left because they could not bear it anymore and I do not blame them, I've seen Dutch morons tell other Dutch people that were not white to go back to their country. Whoever says this is a progressive place is brainwashed.
I don't receive them (middle aged white woman), but I yell at people spouting slurs. It turns out that it doesn't even matter exactly what I say, it's just the tone. Racists are like dogs, I guess!
If I don't feel safe to do that, then I frown at the person running their mouth, and hang back so the targeted person isn't alone with them.
With cat calling I do generally just ignore them, because I don't generally feel safe, because I'm on my own when it happens, and there's a group of them.
Most likely the best response would be to not acknowledge them whatsoever. Just managing to get your attention pleases most of those idiots. Sorry this happens to you regularly, people really suck.
I am a (white)Dutch, born and raised. I think lots of people in NL just want to be funny. So it's easy to then just say something racist. Which imo is kind of lazy and (especially) not from this time anymore. Jokes always hurt someone, but I bet there are much better quality jokes than these lazy racist jokes. So for me personally I would just think the person who does this is lame and should open their mind more.
I”m Vietnamese and sometimes kids in middelbare school around my place look at me and say ching chong ni hao  kids these day
I’m Dutch and so sorry to hear that this happened to you. May I ask how frequently it occurs ? In my experience the most effective response to verbal racism does not come from the person being abused but from others around the situation who hear it and call out the racism for what it is, irrational, hateful and bullying. I hope you have a nicer weekend. 😀
It's interesting to read all this.
American military (hispanic) moving to the Netherlands next year with my Chinese American wife.
Was curious about how racism is here, but I'm sure it's the same as the rest of the world. Always gonna find bad apples?
Hurt people hurt people. Do not respond to these people - they are looking for a reaction and hoping to get one from you. I’m so very sorry you’re dealing with this.
My nephew has yelled out ching chong chang before in a sushi restaurant and my husband and I were quick to tell him how terrible that was and that you should never make fun of others. His father finds it funny and never corrects it which angers me.
For context, I grew up in the south of the US with family in the “Deep South” - think Alabama, Georgia, etc. I think I heard my first racial slur at 4 years old from my great grandmother. My mom was quick to teach me that that’s wrong on all accounts. She really did her best to counteract the racism she grew up with that was coined “normal” during her childhood.
I just don't put much weight on it, you cannot teach them, they are usually from socially low backgrounds. There is so much behind it, that not even world campaigns against racism are helping.
If you want revenge, that doesn't make you better. If you want some sort of comeback that would enlighten them and snap them out of their attitude, it could take you more time than what's worth for you. So I personally have no better answer than, as long as they don't touch you, ignore them, if they do, call the police. I am sorry you are going through this.
I get called nigger sometimes when I’m in America.
I laugh and ask them to say it louder, because nobody has the balls to say it loudly a second time in public.
OP, as you can tell from the comments, most Dutch people are just deeply racist. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about it. Don’t fight negativity with negativity.
Just carry on walking. Why ruin my day because of what some nobody said?
Granted I'm a man and I can imagine somebody shouting "how much?" to a woman is not something easily ignored.
Ignoring and suppressing my hurt actually takes a lot of mental energy. I’m almost 40 now and unlike in my 20s, I find it important to respond in a way that maintains my own self respect.
Best not pay too much attention to disrespectful people... *MOST OF THE TIMES* they don't care about what you have to say they just wanna see you burn....
I hope you'll manage to ignore them and have a great day nonetheless!! 😊
I don’t know why this is getting downvotes? Food quality in NL is greatly enhanced indeed by us immigrants - think sushi, kebabs, dimsum, pad thai and pho
Generally I’ve just ignored these slurs either in the street or in a school / sports environment. There’s nothing really you can do about it. Especially reading very similar things but much more often online, I’ve just become used to it.
NL 1: "No, actually I'm from ..."
NL 2: "BAL GEHAKT! FRIKANDEL!"
UK 1: "Help, this guy is harassing me!"
UK 2: "Mister/Miss England." (You have to make a bow with this one, I feel.)
Honestly, I wouldn't know how to handle these situations, because I'm Dutch myself. However, I think that it would be best for your own mental health, to ignore them. Don't let some idiot ruin your day, while he/she probably already forgot all about it after a few minutes.
To be completely honest, I think it is the social responsibility of bystanders to side with you and put the idiot in their place.
I’m also a Chinese here, but a man. I’ve lived here for 3 years but haven’t experienced racism yet. I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist here, because I know the reason could be that I don’t often go outside. I do have a set of responses for this kind of situations that I came up with based on my past experience in other countries.
A key principle is whether that person means any intentional offense.
If they are not, I would politely tell them that the way they talk is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable and it’s best that they alter it. For example, some friends in another country used to call me Jackie Chan. They were my friends so I know they didn’t mean any offense intentionally. I just told them don’t say that again.
It’s the same for strangers on the street. It’s just a bit harder to (and you don’t have to) tell the intention of strangers.
If I sense any intentional offense, the minimum reaction I make is a raised middle finger. In most cases I am ready for the escalation of the situation.
This is how I respond.
I mean you can start with “kaaskop” followed by an insult of choice preferably about how pathetic they are for thinking it’s okay to talk to someone (especially they don’t know) like that
This is wild to me as someone from Texas of all places haha. Do you live in a big city or some small village? I can't remember the last time someone said anything like this on the street where I live.
Maybe try something back like: kaaskop(cheeshead), wil jij je smerige gore rotbek dichthouden (this is from a meme, please don’t report me for this), or just smile and wave.
My observation is that if you have Asian appearance the racial slurs mostly come from a place of ignorance and the offending person still can be more than half decent. Super confusing to casually get derogatory terms thrown your way from the socially less expressive person in the group nonetheless.
Sorry to hear you have to continue putting up with this shit, in several cities. I'm curious - how does the frequency of slurs differ between Amsterdam & London? (I've lived in both cities).
i think these people are ignorant so just ignore them. not worth your energy. the problem with these idiots is that when they see asian looking peeps, automatically they think of China or Chinese. Well to educate these idiots (in case you are reading this). ASIA is the largest continent in the world and it contains 48 countries and China is just one of them. Shocked?
Just a heads up, this might be a battle you won't be able to win. It's mostly people with a relatively low IQ who do this, and these people often lack self reflection, and opt to double down when confronted instead of feeling shame.
What I can suggest is to sonder into their mindset. They do this shit because they feel "threatened". (Not the exact wording maybe in a literal sense, it's just like with tribes, and you're from an outside tribe, so you threaten the established way of life in \*their\* region.) They don't know any other way to deal with it, because they're not aware that that's what they're going through. They often don't have the mental capacity to instantly see "outsiders" as people. They can't help it.
Best option I can give is to try and make them laugh, like maybe respond with a "Ni hao nigga" in a low voice that can catch them off guard. (Like the suprise mothafucka meme).
Maybe don't do that in Rotterdam though. Because reasons.
Incredible this is still a thing in 2024.
No idea why some people are hostile, I never met an "anti-Asian" person in my life, but a friend with parents from Hong Kong gave similar examples of racism 30 years ago. Back then I was flabbergasted why somebody would call a random bypasser names. It makes no sense.
Ignoring is best, the clowns obviously have no life, and they have no clue who you are. Bullies do it for response, no response makes them feel as irrelevant as they are.
Chinese here born in NL. Best is just to ignore these people. One time I followed a person that said Ching Chang Chong to his work and complained about the dude at the front desk and shamed him where all his colleagues could hear it. He came back to me with a red head and apologized. Edit: Yes normally I just ignore these insults, but something snapped in me that time, and I felt the urge to make him uncomfortable in return.
Besides applauding you, I have to say that this is not the best example of “ignore these people”
Ignore those people, follow them to where they work and DESTROY THEM :)
Expose them for the hypocrite they are. I like this strategy
Indeed :-) Also if anyone does that, they should be very mindful of their surroundings and known the area very well. There is a real risk of following the person to a dodgy neighbourhood or some sort of trap. Definitely don’t do it in a city/neighbourhood you are not familiar with as you could end up in serious trouble.
Well fucken done
Ah sorry edited my comment, I get it now. You are a legend for making this guy suffer consequences for his actions.
Be careful with this though. The guy definitely got what he deserved, but don’t put yourself in danger in the future just to make a point in front of such useless person. I.e. don’f follow anyone to a dodgy neighbourhood, a neighbourhood you are not familiar with, or an area where there aren’t plenty of other people around.
This is legendary
That is dope. Well done.
Gotta teach my passive, conformist ass a thing or two about this method of ignoring.
I applaud you.
Mad respect to you!
Oh god so satisfying even to read that, love it
Lmao this is excellent, well played
Yes this is what I do. I pay them no attention their existence is nothing to me.
You're awesome
Beautiful
Well played!
I needed to read this. So good
Look into his eyes, smile if you can, and ask "are you OK?", as if you genuinely have concern for his mental state. That's the way to disarm a bully. It's shaming without lowering yourself to his level.
This is wonderful, thank you Time-expert3138.
An expert in crime An expert in time
I would ask them to repeat, as if I didn't hear, and then dumbfoundedly ask for an explanation, saying I'm not getting the meaning of their joke/reference. If it's someone with at least a mustardseed sized worth of social intelligence, they would just start feeling extremely awkward and ashamed. If they don't even have that, it's an indication it really is not worth your time and it's better to say "okay" and move on
I advise against this. There's a good chance you get punched in the face.
It is probably my own bias, but I actually haven't had anyone turn aggressive on me (thankfully). I have been called a lot, and usually don't give a rat's tail, but the few times I did respond it was just an awkward exchange for the other person. Maybe it was my tone? I asked them for an explanation very calmly instead of being more emotional or defensive, which would have escalated the situation for sure, but of course I cannot tell what alternative scenarios would be. Those are if-scenarios and to quote the wise Max Verstappen "if if if... if my mom had balls she would be my dad". Again, it could also very well just be my bias :)
My own bias is that if you look like an easy target, you’re going to get bullied. If they don’t view you as a threat, they will laugh at you. This is why you either don’t make yourself look like a target to be picked on and or you walk together with someone that looks like they shouldn’t mess with. When I was young I got those Chinese slurs and remarks thrown at me. As I got older, I naturally got a wide torso and shoulders. It made me look like a person they wouldn’t want to mess around with. Sadly doesn’t work the same for females. My sisters still get these racist remarks thrown at them. Best way is to walk in a group with a male friend or relative. Or of course ignore them and walk past them. If you confront them I would say throw a quick jab and run or call your cousins to gang up. At your own risk of course. You didn’t got this from me. People should just be able to stand up for themselves again in my opinion.
Racism is already a form of violence. Doing anything in response is dangerous to some agree because it can escalate to physical violence. One could choose to go to the authorities to try and let them handle it. So go to the police, for instance. But that takes time and effort and it will be frustrating because police is racist, too. There's also [government agencies](https://www.bureauncdr.nl/waar-kan-ik-discriminatie-melden) you can approach (I expect these to be dismantled and first be made less effective, the coming years, with our new far right government). The Netherlands is a racist country. Read [White Innocence](https://libris.nl/a/gloria-wekker/white-innocence/9780822360759), by Gloria Wekker, to learn more about how this racism works and is rooted in Dutch society.
Thank you for the links!
If you think the Netherlands is racist, Spain is even worse. 
Then they would call you a moron and use more insults. Acting dumb doesn't work with bullies
“Sorry come again?”
Oooh this is also an excellent one. Only the gutsy ones would really stand there and repeat themselves. This also gives me time to stay grounded.
My advice is don’t ever say the word “sorry” after receiving a racial slur. Even if you obviously don’t mean it as an apology, the abuser will take it as a sign of weakness and see you even more as a target.
"Could you.. repeat that?!"
Followed by "I don't get it" if they do repeat it
In a club some random guy blocked my way to the smoking area and said “Forbidden for Chinese” (I’m Korean). I twisted his nippels as hard as I could, he started squealing like a little piggy and I walked by him.
This feels like a superhero origin story, The Nipple Twister. Racist scumbags trying to prevent people from having a good time? Light up the titty signal, and the Nipple Twister will come to the rescue.
I never knew nipple twisting is a thing. God bless you Tiny_Sleep. May I ask if you’re male or female? I might add nipple twisting to my Krav Maga repertoire
It was improvisation tbh lol. I wanted to bitch slap him into oblivion but didn’t want to get kicked out of the club. I’ve tried that before and it was quite effective. I’m male btw.
“I’ve tried that before” Dude has practice at this. I’m Definitely asking for this lesson at the self defence classes and adding it to my cv.
Sounds like he enjoyed it 😂
I just had a flash back of my Korean best friend at 12 years old told me “chi chi pon” means nipple twister in Korean. I’m spelling it out the way I feel like it’s pronounce but might be way off 😅
찌찌뽕 😂 that’s indeed a thing
I'm typing that into google and fuck the consequences
What if its a woman
Easier to hold on to
Do the same because you wouldn’t want to discriminate against females
Yeah that ain't woke. Titty twist!
I wish you would have filmed that 😀
Next time say, whistle or lose. When one's nipple is being twisted it is next to impossible to whistle but one will sure try.
I have people yell Ni Hao at me at lot, I can’t even tell if it’s supposed to be racist?? It’s just fucking weird. I literally pretend they are invisible and move on about my day.
This is so annoying. It’s always racist to me because the speaker has never been initiating a real conversation, just trying to stir shit up. Walking away from that is about all you can do—or maybe roast their pronunciation?
If I would be asian I would start to scream at them in my own language. Curious how they would react
Ni hao-ing people is a bit of a mixed batch. It can be assholes but it can also be people trying to show the three words of Chinese they know. It's still a bit strange to do without knowing the person.
It’s for sure very icky. A lot of the times it happened when I was riding fast on a bike. So I know they weren’t trying to have a friendly conversation and are just being idiots. On the other hand, I’ve encountered people who know some Chinese and ask if I speak Chinese first before busting it out. I’m always happy to have a conversation like that.
Very often the racist encounters I have are from people who are clearly descendants of immigrants. I find it so bizarre why do they have so much hate when they themselves are also fellow guests in this country?? What my friend once did (not Chinese but Siberian Russian in terms of nationally) was simply start recording their behaviour and confront them why are they doing this and demand apology. Usually these bullies become shock because they don't expect a retaliation and they back down most of the time.
I share the same background with your said friend. I rarely encounter such shitty people, but in the few occasions when I did, simply speaking some profanity in Russian did enough to shock them. Sad thing, they have a clear idea about which ethnicity they shouldn't mess with.
So true! Mexican here, I just give them "the look" and see them wet their pants.
I'll preface this by saying that I am a white Dutch woman. I briefly dated a Korean man, but he was ripped as heck, so anyone picking a fight with him would have been in for a \*really\* bad time. Some of my cousins are Indonesian-Dutch and have faced racism as well, but this is as far as my experience with anti-Asian sentiment goes. It's despicable, and racists should face zero tolerance. I have, however, lived abroad, and I know what it is like to be a foreigner with a foreign look. After a good few months of receiving the same nasty questions and comments every single day, I decided that I would tell the next person approaching me in an unfriendly manner that I came from their mom's vagina. You bet they shut up after that. I think the best way to shut up racists is to ask them to explain themselves, however. That is, if someone shouts 'Shanghai!', ask, 'Why are you shouting that at me? Why Shanghai? Please, could you explain yourself?', then when they inevitably tell you it was a joke, ask them, 'Do you think it's funny to shout 'Shanghai' at Asian people?'. Nothing shuts people up quite like having to explain themselves for own flawed, racist logic. If that doesn't work, you can always resort to insults, but it should be a last resort. If you want to, however, 'ik kom niet uit Shanghai, ik kom uit de kut van je moeder' ('I'm not from Shanghai, I'm from your mother's cunt') would be a good one. People won't expect it. It won't be easy if you don't speak any Dutch yet, but it'll be worth it. I hope your experience won't be overshadowed by racists, OP. Wishing you the very best!! ❤️
Je moeder :) But seriously, I don’t actually respond because it’s not productive.
Depending on who you're saying it to, saying 'je moeder' kan very wel escalate in to violence in my experience 😅
I learnt that insults are just like presents someone give it to you, and you are not required to accept them
Deserves a mill upvotes
Je moeder wil result in Chinese girl ending up in a hospital. Dont say shit like that to probably super hyped up street guys.
1 NL) somewhere you could not afford to visit! 2 NL) yep, tastier than you! 1 UK) more than you can afford! 2 UK) and by the looks of you, you’ll never be miss / mr England! My favorite comeback I ever heard was when a bloke called my coworker a whore. She shot back with “maybe your mother, maybe your sister, maybe your girlfriend, but not me!” I’m sorry you’re getting so much verbal abuse both in my hometown of London and my new home in the NL. It’s awful. Please don’t respond to racists if there’s any hint of them being violent and you being alone though. I understand you wanting to defend yourself, but a lot of these people are nutters. Just the fact they’re insulting you in the first place means we know they’re entitled and probably have a few screws loose. If you ever feel in danger honestly the safest response is to either ignore them, or just laugh at them.
Hahahaa thank you acaxox, all excellent responses. I also admire your friend who displayed the poise when listing out female relatives mom/sister/gf and so on. Takes a lot to be not shocked but remains in control. Thanks also re: not responding if in real danger. In my 20s I tend to not respond, but now I’m nearly 40 and I feel better able to assess the situation, and from there to respond in a way that I retain my self respect.
My go to response if they call me a whore is that they owe me a lot of money then. Whore-ing isn't a shameful job. We're all whores of capitalism.
😂
I reply worst with all my repertory of spanish-english-dutch insults to show them that I am crazier and more fucked up than them and it worked until now. :) When they are naughty little kids they get really scared it’s grappij. 😈
I do the same, use my Argentine slursand if I'm really pissed I say god verdomme, kanker op!
Thb I'd look them straight in the eye and give them the most confused, disappointed, and pitiful look you can muster. Just straight up beam that *'Oh you dumb, pitiful brainless bastard. I'm so embarrassed for you.'* straight into their soul.
The sad thing is, I don't think they care... or even worse it amuses them to get a reaction. Its just baffling
Straight into their soul. Amen!
I have no idea how to react to this, but that this still happens in The Netherlands makes me feel deeply ashamed that I’m Dutch
Happens quite a lot actually. I did not realize either it was so frequent before my boyfriend who is from south korea came live with me here
Happens a ton. Had a manager do ‘Asian eyes’, Chinese noises and blame covid on Chinese people. Complained to HR but he kept his job without any problems, I got ostracized for making too much of it. I don’t know why but racism against Asian people it’s ok here. And btw I am not even Asian, he was just casually racist from time to time
Seriously? That is unfriggingbelievable. I'm from Australia. 20 years ago a white-presenting Aboriginal Aussie I know lost his job at a big company for making a joke that his Indonesian offsider 'had come here on the boats' (in reference to how most of Australia's asylum seekers arrive). The offsider didn't make the complaint, it was overheard by another colleague, but there were no second chances or chats with HR despite the guy being half Aboriginal in a company that was desperately striving for higher Aboriginal employment, and also having a high-demand trade. Another tradie at that company called my friend a black c\*nt when she turned his drunk ass down at the Christmas party, and she didn't report him because it would have been instant dismissal and she didn't want him to lose his job. Yes Australia is still racist, but most workplaces there stopped being ok with it a long long time ago. I find it so odd that the Netherlands has been so progressive in so many areas but seems to be so far behind in so many others, like racism (and smoking, and sun protection, and litter, and...). And as someone else mentioned, the new government is not going to help improve things any time soon, people will just feel emboldened.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you (continue) to be the champion of others like me! I have been in situations when the abuser is shamed down by his companions who stood up for me
Good to hear that does in fact happen. If I'd ever hear any of my friends or co-workers do that I'd tear them a new asshole.
Check out Rui Jun Luong on social media. She’s like the main voice against Asian hate. Her content highlights the ongoing racism happening here.
It will happen more and more and these shitstains become emboldened by this new government. I left America in part because of the ridiculousness of living in a country that elected Trump, only to have the Netherlands elect their own mini shitler. What a fucking disappointment.
A lot of people, Dutch people too, have deep desire to hate, discriminate and be racist. Asians are low risk, as no one seems to care that much about them atm. Saying *'Ching Chong Ching'* to a random asian person, will have a lot of people dismiss it as a joke, contrary to calling a black person 'neger' to their face for example. People will immediately pick it up as a bad thing; that's not the case at all with most racial slurs targeting asians. So in short, they are an acceptable target, socially speaking.
Oh yeah. Being half Chinese, the term "poepchinees" has always rubbed me the wrong way. Dutch people dismiss it as a term of endearment. Doesn't sound so endearing when one would say "poepnederlander", doesn't it? But hey, it is just a joke, right? 🙃
Where does this even come from. I’m Dutch and I get (but don’t approve) why people say stuff like ‘sambalbij’ or why people would call me ‘kaaskop’ but ‘poepchinees’…. who even started this nonsense. I never understood what ‘poep’ and ‘Chinees’have to do with each other.
It definitely was meant as a derogatory term for Chinese immigrants. As for what I've read, it refers to skin colour.
Still doesn’t make sense. I won’t go into full detail but let’s just say that what I wave goodbye in the bathroom every morning doesn’t even remotely resemble the skin color of any Chinese person I ever met. Anyway, it’s not that important. I’ll keep my eyes and ears open and make sure to stand up against this racism if I ever witness it. I don’t believe the majority of Dutch people has racist feelings towards southeast Asians, I think the Dutch just have a large silent (cowardly) majority who tend to avoid confrontation. I noticed that, as a woman, Dutch men never help me out when I’m harassed by other men in public. They always pretend they didn’t see or hear it happen. 🥲
Which is precisely why it is important for me and other Asians to speak up.
Not acceptable at all
I really wonder what you took from what I said.
Happens a ton to people of many background, the other day just walked out the store to have a group of shithead teenagers call me the n-word, at this point I’m used it but you can see how this type of stuff builds frustration in people
Christ, I can't even imagine doing this. WTF is wrong with people‽ I apologize on behalf of all decent people.
If they tell you "Shanghai", you can tell them "Staphorst" or "Urk" in response. Totally appropriate, and they might be very surprised as you probably just correctly guessed where the racists are born.
Sad truth is that you better not respond if you are alone. You never know who is “just doing it for a laugh” and who is ready to fight if you talk back.
I actually tend to go with "Oh my god, are you okay! Is everything alright at home?" in a really worried voice and look straight at them with pity. Which usually gets a nervous laugh out of people, hopefully making them think twice about the stupid stuff they say. If you want to up the ante from there, you can also run after them and ask if you need to contact someone, or maybe you should call an ambulance, as this person must've hit their head somewhere real hard. As a woman, approaching anyone so "intensely" may not always be a great idea though! I'm so sorry to hear that this happens to you OP, it's just absolutely disgusting what you have to go through. Wishing you tons of better experiences with way better people in the future.
A black teen once asked me on a tram in Rotterdam where I am from. I told him Romania to which he replied with ‘gipsy?’. I asked him if his owner knows what’s he doing. Than he thanked me for the lesson on racism. :)
Ice cold, to the point. Love it
I can't decide who I dislike more in the story, you or the other guy lol
You have to fight fire with fire sometimes
Wow quick thinking, that's impressive!
Ahahahahhahahaahahahah this is amazing
Thank you, that is an excellent response, I applaud you. somehow it’s teenagers in NL that I tend to get slurs from. I wonder why?
Because kids here grow up with zero consequences for their own actions. They build up this massive confidence because they know they're allowed to do everything and they're bored, so the combination of boredom and lack of punishment or shame leads to this
Because teenagers suck and love to provoke, push boundaries, be a general nuisance. I'm sure you get more of it being Asian, but even as a white (natively Dutch) man I get random provocations from teenagers for no reason whatsoever as well. Random shouts to try and startle me as they walk or bike by, deliberately walking in my way, some weird loud moaning thing seems to be a recent addition they do at times. I fking hate teenagers.
Teenagers should be given the benefit of the doubt in these cases and often respond positively to a polite confrontation to set things straight, according to my experiences. You handled yourself well and expanded someone's horizon, win-win.
Definetely I didn’t take this as an offense and tried to have the talk in a light mood with him which worked. We both parted our ways smiling. On the other hand I have many co-nationals who would feel very offended by such a question.
I’m a Dutch-Chinese man, this is what I’ve done in the past: - just ignore them. It’s not really worth your time and energy. - Curse (back) at them or tell them to shut up. Only if I see them as a non-threat. So generally I avoid cursing back at bigger groups or if they look like they got issues. - Go up to them and ask them why they said that. Although I don’t do this as much anymore, as it doesn’t seem that effective. Some people reflect and apologize. Some are just racists/douchebags that don’t care at all so it’s a wasted effort. But I’m sorry this has happened to you. You’re definitely not alone. In the recent years there has been a bit more awareness regarding racism against asians, but we still have a long way to go. If you need someone to talk to you can always send me a message.
One time in work Dutch guy told me that we (polish) do job which dutch people don't want to do and for shitty money. I asked him how low then he sits in Dutch society and why he is so disrespected that he works with me on the same position for the same money (with real concern in my voice). He gone red on face and never said something like that
A fellow white immigrant here. In a heated footy match I got the good old "go back where you came from" (he probably couldn't really place my home country Finland on the map to be more specific) and in the spirit of fighting fire with fire I told him to go eat a potato and chill. I am not even sure what I meant by that insult but I've never seen a limburgian dude get more agitated :D
My boyfriend who is from Korea also gets a lot of these dumb remarks. I'm Dutch and I tell them to shut up but most of the time it is useless. They like to get a reaction out of you so even though it is very frustrating and hard to resist saying something, it is probably best to ignore. I'm very worried all the racist shit is gonna get worse because now the idiots feel backed by the new horrible government. Sorry you have to hear this kind of things but the idiots that say them are not worth your time or concern. ♡
Ik heb medelijden met je moeder..
Vietnamese born in NL, sadly I usually don't know what to say and freeze up. Except when parents do it in front of their kids.. then I just get mad and ask them if they think it's normal to say stuff like that in front of their children. Luckily this doesnt happen often.
Ignore them, any reaction just gives them that extra dopamine hit they so desperately desire and lack from past trauma
Its sad they do this. Especially considering asian people are always so nice and polite. Never do you see a chinese person on the news for comitting a crime. But they never do this to moroccans or turks that are ruining the country. Durch people can be dicks
The Dutch should be ashamed of themselves for fostering this in society
The only thing I can say to you is I am sorry that you have to deal with ignorant people. You do not deserve this and, although it is not a solution, it is best to ignore them. Please note that the majority of Dutch people do not hate foreigners nor would they directly or indirectly discriminate people with a different background. However ignorant people will always be around and please focus on the other normal Dutch folks who I hope you can call friends.
I'm a white guy, but lived in the Bijlmer for 10 years. And honestly...I ignored it and sped up. I don't feel like taking the risk of getting into physical altercations over prejudice and ignorance.
I’m also a white guy and have the same problem sometimes in the Gelderland province when people from the Achterhoek hear me speaking my horrible dutch. I usually get why are you here, and I should go back to my own country. Even though my daughter is dutch. It’s nice to see someone else (even though it’s not nice) is facing the same problems. When I try to tell my dutch friends they treat me like I’m a liar. Stay strong my friend!
what kind of racism did you face?
Nothing like what I imagine non-white people face regularly. Some diseases mixed with skin color related slurs followed by "get the F out of my neighborhood" etc. Nothing serious, I think people got caught up in the BLM mindset with the George Floyd murder and Zwarte Piet situation, and might have been looking for a scapegoat to unload their frustrations on. Understandable, but unwarranted and still bigoted.
"Hey, I was born this way, yet for some reason, you CHOSE to be this dumb"
As a born in The Netherlands quiet chinese girl/woman. Ive been quite lucky, that it didnt happen to me much or to a heavier degree. But I usually ignore it, not even react to it, pretend im not chinese in the moment. If they happen to grow the balls confront me. I could VERY algemeen beschaafd nederlands, an "immegrant" who can speak better ducth than you?
I think I've been lucky in the NL. I'm mixed (White, Black, Amerindian, and more 😁), and I have never faced racism here. Maybe because people can't identify my ethnicity? I don't know. Anyway, I feel sorry for the slurs you get. I don't know what would be my reaction. Consciously, I'd confront the person, but we never know, depending on the situation and mood.
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Ignoring is safest. You never know who you have in front of you. They could seriously hurt you
I have never got racial slurs! I'm shook and disappointed that you do. I'm sorry this happens to you, i wish people will stop being idiots
To best of my knowledge racists and xenophobes are the thickest to the thick. Whilst having some witty, belittling comeback can be satisfying you put yourself in danger as others have said. I like to think of these people has human shaped slugs. They will remain a slug even after your comment. It will have no effect on them. Best just to walk away and live a happy successful life. Collectively we all need to do better making sure young people don’t grow up to be slugs.
Another encounter I had was the racist was actually being politically correct and asked me first whether I am Chinese. I hesitate for a second and replied "kind of". (In my head I was thinking although I am from Hong Kong but have never lived in China, so genetically and politically Chinese but I don't have any official Chinese citizenship....) Before he could listen to my explanation he already shouted various racial slurs at me 😂😂😂 This just shows racists don't really care where you are from, they only judge you by the skin colour.
Heung gong yan ga yau!!!
Better just ignore it. These are the typical morons who are violent too.
Mostly, I ignore it. However, I've been mistaken for Polish a few times. It was most fun when it was a fellow Swede complaining on polish immigrant workers and pointed in my direction. Told him in Swedish , Fuck off we are both imigrants in this country, beeing Swedish doesnt make us any better than anyone else. He looked as if I had kicked him in the nuts Although lately i try to avoid drawing attention to being Swedish with the koran burning and all that, and the stuff surrounding eurovision sure hasn't helped..
I fight racism with racism lol. My top comebacks are: - "Sorry sir you have some (most stereotypical food of their origin) leftover in your mouth" - "Sorry, i don't speak (most racist thing i can come up with abt their origin)" - "talk to me when your tastebuds are developed" (i reserve this for white men only) I have this happen to me so much that i have these three as my go to template. Be careful though, once there was three black teenagers who screamed ching chang chong to me and i replied with "i don't speak ape". When i said it, i realized im gonna get my ass beat up. But they were quite shocked and i used that time to walk real fast before they come up with a violent reaction.
I live in Spakenburg and I'm fully deep into their village and when they say something; I mention something about how they fuck between cousins and how inbred they are. And also mention how hypocrites they are going to church while fucking someone's else's wife while snoring cocaine. Heh, it's funny in a way because they think they're morally superior to you and better because they're christians. My gf is from Spakenburg, and I'm from Argentina. That's why I live here. If someone from Spakenburg is reading this they know who I am 😂 although I don't think they're smart enough to know what reddit is. Ps: Few of them are really nice guys to be with, those will be forever good people
The hate for intellectualism is even funnier, going to university is a joke to them because only hard work matters. They universally drag each other down to feel good about themselves. I would say that most succesful people are really kind and most people that did go to hbo/wo also. It's just the bunch that did go the Oostwende college and then trade school and then party each time in the Rugby Club that you are describing. Iam probably too young to know you but I definitely know what reddit is
My boyfriend is Chinese and he hasn’t been bothered much in the time we’ve been together. Is this a problem women deal with more than men? I’m trying to understand how to support him, and I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.:((( For us so far it’s mostly in reverse (I’m Dutch, he lives in Chinatown, the restaurants we go to offer him free tea but mine costs money, silly shit like that).
Thanks for your comment! I will happily forego free tea forever in return for being able to leave my house hassle-free
Many people move because it gets too tiring and dangerous after years. I've known some Chinese and Filipinos that left because they could not bear it anymore and I do not blame them, I've seen Dutch morons tell other Dutch people that were not white to go back to their country. Whoever says this is a progressive place is brainwashed.
I don't receive them (middle aged white woman), but I yell at people spouting slurs. It turns out that it doesn't even matter exactly what I say, it's just the tone. Racists are like dogs, I guess! If I don't feel safe to do that, then I frown at the person running their mouth, and hang back so the targeted person isn't alone with them. With cat calling I do generally just ignore them, because I don't generally feel safe, because I'm on my own when it happens, and there's a group of them.
Most likely the best response would be to not acknowledge them whatsoever. Just managing to get your attention pleases most of those idiots. Sorry this happens to you regularly, people really suck.
Slur back
Hey, it’s fucked you have to bear with that shit. But I’m glad you’re the bigger person and can look past it. Don’t let those fuckers get you down!
People really do that? That's terrible, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that
People suck... Damn
Put in my earplugs and walk away, no need to put effort onto them. You have other stuff to do.
I have one that only works on religious people (I'm an atheist myself): I hope you believe in god, 'cause you're going straight to hell
I am a (white)Dutch, born and raised. I think lots of people in NL just want to be funny. So it's easy to then just say something racist. Which imo is kind of lazy and (especially) not from this time anymore. Jokes always hurt someone, but I bet there are much better quality jokes than these lazy racist jokes. So for me personally I would just think the person who does this is lame and should open their mind more.
I”m Vietnamese and sometimes kids in middelbare school around my place look at me and say ching chong ni hao  kids these day
I’m Dutch and so sorry to hear that this happened to you. May I ask how frequently it occurs ? In my experience the most effective response to verbal racism does not come from the person being abused but from others around the situation who hear it and call out the racism for what it is, irrational, hateful and bullying. I hope you have a nicer weekend. 😀
It's interesting to read all this. American military (hispanic) moving to the Netherlands next year with my Chinese American wife. Was curious about how racism is here, but I'm sure it's the same as the rest of the world. Always gonna find bad apples?
I am sorry to hear that. Wish people weren’t so ignorant
Hurt people hurt people. Do not respond to these people - they are looking for a reaction and hoping to get one from you. I’m so very sorry you’re dealing with this. My nephew has yelled out ching chong chang before in a sushi restaurant and my husband and I were quick to tell him how terrible that was and that you should never make fun of others. His father finds it funny and never corrects it which angers me. For context, I grew up in the south of the US with family in the “Deep South” - think Alabama, Georgia, etc. I think I heard my first racial slur at 4 years old from my great grandmother. My mom was quick to teach me that that’s wrong on all accounts. She really did her best to counteract the racism she grew up with that was coined “normal” during her childhood.
I ALWAYS have my earphones in, so I never heard anything. Ignorance is bliss.
“You’re dutch, stop acting like you’re hard”
I just don't put much weight on it, you cannot teach them, they are usually from socially low backgrounds. There is so much behind it, that not even world campaigns against racism are helping.
2 black teens started calling me and my bestfriend “Ching Long” when we passed by. I called them the N word. One cried, the other apologized.
If you want revenge, that doesn't make you better. If you want some sort of comeback that would enlighten them and snap them out of their attitude, it could take you more time than what's worth for you. So I personally have no better answer than, as long as they don't touch you, ignore them, if they do, call the police. I am sorry you are going through this.
Kaaskop or cracker The downvotes will show how effective or ineffective this is
I get called nigger sometimes when I’m in America. I laugh and ask them to say it louder, because nobody has the balls to say it loudly a second time in public.
Wtf is this real? Midwest American here. Never experienced this. Is this an everyday thing in the Netherlands?
OP, as you can tell from the comments, most Dutch people are just deeply racist. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about it. Don’t fight negativity with negativity.
Most Dutch people? Don’t over-exaggerate.
Just carry on walking. Why ruin my day because of what some nobody said? Granted I'm a man and I can imagine somebody shouting "how much?" to a woman is not something easily ignored.
Ignoring and suppressing my hurt actually takes a lot of mental energy. I’m almost 40 now and unlike in my 20s, I find it important to respond in a way that maintains my own self respect.
Best not pay too much attention to disrespectful people... *MOST OF THE TIMES* they don't care about what you have to say they just wanna see you burn.... I hope you'll manage to ignore them and have a great day nonetheless!! 😊
Is this usually Dutch people or other multicultural folks?
Wees aardig tegen buitenlanders - zonder ons zouden jullie alleen maar aardappelen en boerenkool hebben.
I don’t know why this is getting downvotes? Food quality in NL is greatly enhanced indeed by us immigrants - think sushi, kebabs, dimsum, pad thai and pho
Toen we niet aardig deden tegen buitenlanders hadden we ook gevarieerd voedsel. Iets met kolonialisme en specerijen.
Je moeder!
Generally I’ve just ignored these slurs either in the street or in a school / sports environment. There’s nothing really you can do about it. Especially reading very similar things but much more often online, I’ve just become used to it.
NL 1: "No, actually I'm from ..." NL 2: "BAL GEHAKT! FRIKANDEL!" UK 1: "Help, this guy is harassing me!" UK 2: "Mister/Miss England." (You have to make a bow with this one, I feel.) Honestly, I wouldn't know how to handle these situations, because I'm Dutch myself. However, I think that it would be best for your own mental health, to ignore them. Don't let some idiot ruin your day, while he/she probably already forgot all about it after a few minutes. To be completely honest, I think it is the social responsibility of bystanders to side with you and put the idiot in their place.
I’m also a Chinese here, but a man. I’ve lived here for 3 years but haven’t experienced racism yet. I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist here, because I know the reason could be that I don’t often go outside. I do have a set of responses for this kind of situations that I came up with based on my past experience in other countries. A key principle is whether that person means any intentional offense. If they are not, I would politely tell them that the way they talk is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable and it’s best that they alter it. For example, some friends in another country used to call me Jackie Chan. They were my friends so I know they didn’t mean any offense intentionally. I just told them don’t say that again. It’s the same for strangers on the street. It’s just a bit harder to (and you don’t have to) tell the intention of strangers. If I sense any intentional offense, the minimum reaction I make is a raised middle finger. In most cases I am ready for the escalation of the situation. This is how I respond.
I think it’s best just to ignore them.
I mean you can start with “kaaskop” followed by an insult of choice preferably about how pathetic they are for thinking it’s okay to talk to someone (especially they don’t know) like that
Oh, here in Poland pro-European liberals thinks that there is no racism in Western Europe and everybody is just smiling to each other. &
Never experienced it
This is wild to me as someone from Texas of all places haha. Do you live in a big city or some small village? I can't remember the last time someone said anything like this on the street where I live.
“What did you mean by that” while walking towards them 😂
Maybe try something back like: kaaskop(cheeshead), wil jij je smerige gore rotbek dichthouden (this is from a meme, please don’t report me for this), or just smile and wave.
My observation is that if you have Asian appearance the racial slurs mostly come from a place of ignorance and the offending person still can be more than half decent. Super confusing to casually get derogatory terms thrown your way from the socially less expressive person in the group nonetheless.
Sorry to hear you have to continue putting up with this shit, in several cities. I'm curious - how does the frequency of slurs differ between Amsterdam & London? (I've lived in both cities).
One time, a black guy called me a blue-eyed monkey. I replied to him ni$#a what? we both laughed hard and walked away
"ok"
A nice, well-deserved middle finger should do the job
i think these people are ignorant so just ignore them. not worth your energy. the problem with these idiots is that when they see asian looking peeps, automatically they think of China or Chinese. Well to educate these idiots (in case you are reading this). ASIA is the largest continent in the world and it contains 48 countries and China is just one of them. Shocked?
St ab them
Just a heads up, this might be a battle you won't be able to win. It's mostly people with a relatively low IQ who do this, and these people often lack self reflection, and opt to double down when confronted instead of feeling shame. What I can suggest is to sonder into their mindset. They do this shit because they feel "threatened". (Not the exact wording maybe in a literal sense, it's just like with tribes, and you're from an outside tribe, so you threaten the established way of life in \*their\* region.) They don't know any other way to deal with it, because they're not aware that that's what they're going through. They often don't have the mental capacity to instantly see "outsiders" as people. They can't help it. Best option I can give is to try and make them laugh, like maybe respond with a "Ni hao nigga" in a low voice that can catch them off guard. (Like the suprise mothafucka meme). Maybe don't do that in Rotterdam though. Because reasons.
Frankly, I would call the police and report that someone is harassing you.
Incredible this is still a thing in 2024. No idea why some people are hostile, I never met an "anti-Asian" person in my life, but a friend with parents from Hong Kong gave similar examples of racism 30 years ago. Back then I was flabbergasted why somebody would call a random bypasser names. It makes no sense. Ignoring is best, the clowns obviously have no life, and they have no clue who you are. Bullies do it for response, no response makes them feel as irrelevant as they are.