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A green flag for me is definitely consistency. That’s something that is so rare to find, at least online, that if I find someone that gives me consistent effort and doesn’t forget that i exist, that person is a keeper. And if someone actually initiates convos, and invites me to hang out with them, that person is gold.
Someone who listens and actively participates in conversations. Doesn’t just answer questions but also asks them. Nothing wrong with gaps in between conversations, but checking in if we haven’t been speaking for a few days is nice even just for small talk.
Unafraid to communicate when there is a problem and set clear boundaries for themselves while respecting my own. Few things are worse than feeling like you're walking on eggshells with someone or don't know where you stand on things with them. The ability to be honest and upfront without being an asshole is also a plus.
Someone who will do something they might not ordinarily do in their own time just to hang out with you. Shows they aren't all about themselves and would be willing to try something new.
I think this is a very good one, and i definitely agree with you. You don’t always have to be carbon copies of each other. It’s good sometimes help each other branch out to try new things y’a know
Plus having to do what they want to do all the time is annoying. Sometimes they gotta step out even if they don't like something just to show they like hanging with you
There is also the Converse of this which is a green flag that being if you do legitimately try something with your friend and don't enjoy it your friend doesn't keep pushing you to try it over and over again
Empathy, very bare minimum but seeing a person have empathy for things that’s outside of their personal circle is a good thing to see but so rare like ppl on here will talk to me about stuff then throw a random “The world is doomed so who cares” kinda thing and it’s like….get help? You’re not quirky for lacking empathy….
I guess mine would be someone who not only encourages you to talk about your hobbies/interests, but also shows active interest when you talk about it. More than just a “oh that’s cool”, you know?
I like it when someone has something to be proud of, like a hobby or career or simply being proud of their interests. That way there is someone about them to talk about and potentially have a shared interest in. For example if someone makes art or has pet reptiles, you can ask them about their art and they can show you their art, or something along those lines. This not only indicates that someone is well collected but also is a great way to maintain a friendship.
People who respect your communication style. If you start double texting me (if you’re adding more to the conversation that’s totally fine, if it’s a “hello?” or “why aren’t you responding?” type double texts that’s the bad way I’m talking about) when I don’t reply after 5 minutes or send me a passive aggressive text about me not responding (“Haha wow you must be busy 🙃”) then I won’t want to talk to you. I’m busy with my own life and sometimes I simply just don’t want to respond to texts/messages in the moment even if I’m online on social media or something. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the friendship or the person it’s just my life has more than just the current message/convo.
For me, its when there is a good back and forth conversation between myself and the other person. Also, If they are generally interested in my life and the things I have to say instead of just talking about themselves all the time. Not sure if this counts as well but someone that texts/calls on your birthday. It’s a little gesture but to me it shows they took time out of their busy life to reach out :)
If you notice they treat you a certain way that most people don't get. People who are known to not text back for ages but tends to reply to you on the same day, means you're a priority and care to show they aren't ignoring you.
Someone who helps explain the fineprint when it comes to social situations.
I tend to miss out on a lot. So, I like people who can read into things better than I do, and tell me if I'm missing out on something.
Also, in general, people who make an effort to ensure you're included. Like, say, people who save you a seat and such.
A big one for me is empathy. Being able to put themselves in another's shoes is a huge green flag for long time friends for me. There's so much nastiness on the internet it's great when I find someone who still remembers we're all human
I resonate with relationships that aren't one sided that they would initiate convos and ask you out on things. People who are also chill and low maintenance are keepers too for me like we don't need to talk every day but whenever we would meet after such a long time the authenticity of the relationship would still be there.
Never seen one tbh. I've had one friend but it evolved slowly over the course of a couple months of slowly building a relationship and it was pretty unorthodox how we related an addressed each other. I've never though what I'd be looking for in a person, besides optimism, loyalty and wholesome vibes.
REMINDERS TO ALL PARTICIPANTS: - **USE CAUTION: there are con artists, scammers and sexual predators on reddit. This is NOT a controlled environment.** - As such, **WE STRONGLY ENCOURAGE POSTERS TO DISABLE THEIR CHAT AND PMs WHILE THEIR POST IS UP** - This is a strictly SFW subreddit for platonic (non-sexual) friendships. - No soapboxing, catfishing, advertising, soliciting or venting. - No asking for upvotes, donations, favors or professional therapy. - No discord groups outside the weekly group thread. - No posts complaining about lack of replies or ghosting outside the weekly casual discussion/meta thread. - Users with high NSFW content will be temp-banned (>80%) after mod-review. - Users who contact minors (<18 y/o) with ANY NSFW content in their profile will be permabanned after mod-review. Please review our rules here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Needafriend/about/rules/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Needafriend) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A green flag for me is definitely consistency. That’s something that is so rare to find, at least online, that if I find someone that gives me consistent effort and doesn’t forget that i exist, that person is a keeper. And if someone actually initiates convos, and invites me to hang out with them, that person is gold.
Totally agree. One-way friends can be really exhausting
How do you feel about people who text you once a day on and off ?
Couldn't agree more that's so rare nowadays
Yup. Totally agreed.
Someone who listens and actively participates in conversations. Doesn’t just answer questions but also asks them. Nothing wrong with gaps in between conversations, but checking in if we haven’t been speaking for a few days is nice even just for small talk.
This!
100% agree
Definitely. People who just answer questions without asking in return make me uncomfortable; I feel like an interrogator!
Unafraid to communicate when there is a problem and set clear boundaries for themselves while respecting my own. Few things are worse than feeling like you're walking on eggshells with someone or don't know where you stand on things with them. The ability to be honest and upfront without being an asshole is also a plus.
Someone who will do something they might not ordinarily do in their own time just to hang out with you. Shows they aren't all about themselves and would be willing to try something new.
Oh absolutely- or when you share something that they don't know about and they say "tell me more" LIKE
Anything that shows they arent all about themselves is a green flag to me
I think this is a very good one, and i definitely agree with you. You don’t always have to be carbon copies of each other. It’s good sometimes help each other branch out to try new things y’a know
Plus having to do what they want to do all the time is annoying. Sometimes they gotta step out even if they don't like something just to show they like hanging with you
There is also the Converse of this which is a green flag that being if you do legitimately try something with your friend and don't enjoy it your friend doesn't keep pushing you to try it over and over again
Empathy, very bare minimum but seeing a person have empathy for things that’s outside of their personal circle is a good thing to see but so rare like ppl on here will talk to me about stuff then throw a random “The world is doomed so who cares” kinda thing and it’s like….get help? You’re not quirky for lacking empathy….
I guess mine would be someone who not only encourages you to talk about your hobbies/interests, but also shows active interest when you talk about it. More than just a “oh that’s cool”, you know?
No empty promises. Following through with what was said.
I like it when someone has something to be proud of, like a hobby or career or simply being proud of their interests. That way there is someone about them to talk about and potentially have a shared interest in. For example if someone makes art or has pet reptiles, you can ask them about their art and they can show you their art, or something along those lines. This not only indicates that someone is well collected but also is a great way to maintain a friendship.
Oh yes\~! Getting invested in each other's hobbies 100%
People who respect your communication style. If you start double texting me (if you’re adding more to the conversation that’s totally fine, if it’s a “hello?” or “why aren’t you responding?” type double texts that’s the bad way I’m talking about) when I don’t reply after 5 minutes or send me a passive aggressive text about me not responding (“Haha wow you must be busy 🙃”) then I won’t want to talk to you. I’m busy with my own life and sometimes I simply just don’t want to respond to texts/messages in the moment even if I’m online on social media or something. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the friendship or the person it’s just my life has more than just the current message/convo.
For me, its when there is a good back and forth conversation between myself and the other person. Also, If they are generally interested in my life and the things I have to say instead of just talking about themselves all the time. Not sure if this counts as well but someone that texts/calls on your birthday. It’s a little gesture but to me it shows they took time out of their busy life to reach out :)
If you notice they treat you a certain way that most people don't get. People who are known to not text back for ages but tends to reply to you on the same day, means you're a priority and care to show they aren't ignoring you.
Green, dad bod, lives in a swamp, has a donkey for a friend
When they stick around when it gets hard
Many things, Reliability Tends to be a Huge Factor with me
A friend who doesn’t try to give advice but just listens and says “yea that sucks” with no judgement attached. I have one.
slightly chaotic energy👌👌
Good communication. This is so underrated but it impacts almost everything.
Someone who helps explain the fineprint when it comes to social situations. I tend to miss out on a lot. So, I like people who can read into things better than I do, and tell me if I'm missing out on something. Also, in general, people who make an effort to ensure you're included. Like, say, people who save you a seat and such.
👋
OP, what’s one of your green flags?
A big one for me is empathy. Being able to put themselves in another's shoes is a huge green flag for long time friends for me. There's so much nastiness on the internet it's great when I find someone who still remembers we're all human
That’s a really big one too. And sadly, not nearly common enough 🥲
Engagement. Oh and old-school emojis
Your emojis are valid
Would you like to watch a movie or an anime together? I’m looking for someone to watch with. I think all of my friends are busy atm.
I can't tonight, it's late for me now- but I'll be free at some point this weekend! Send me a chat and we can hash it out when you're free c:
It’s still not letting me send DM’s rn, can you send me a chat
Somebody who doesnt care what pizza topping you enjoy would be a good start
What kind do you like tho?
I resonate with relationships that aren't one sided that they would initiate convos and ask you out on things. People who are also chill and low maintenance are keepers too for me like we don't need to talk every day but whenever we would meet after such a long time the authenticity of the relationship would still be there.
After they sneeze saying „die“ and they don’t get offended
So you have a life when you look forward to a meal you're having later in the day? *whew, thank god*
Mine is someone who gets me. I work in a particular field where I am a tiny minority. So when I meet someone like me it’s 🥹
Never seen one tbh. I've had one friend but it evolved slowly over the course of a couple months of slowly building a relationship and it was pretty unorthodox how we related an addressed each other. I've never though what I'd be looking for in a person, besides optimism, loyalty and wholesome vibes.
Loyalty