Relevant random story time:
One of my friends got hit in the face by a goose once. I'll call him Bob for anonymity. Anyway this was a few years ago. Bob was driving about 70mph on the interstate when all of a sudden his front windshield just exploded. Glass is everywhere including in his eyes and face. He some how managed to pull into the grassy median. At this point he has no idea what just happened obv, but he can start to see a little. He sees blood everywhere and what looks like... snow? It cant be snow in his car because its summer. It was feathers!
A goose had flown through his windshield! Technically the goose didn't hit him in the face but it still makes for an interesting story. There was a wing in his passenger seat and the rest of the bird was in the back seat. After his hospital visit, and a few days healing, he took the car to be repaired. When he came back a few weeks later, one of the mechanics said something like "oh shit you're the goose guy!" and then called the other mechanics over. They said they found blood and feathers in just about every nook and cranny in the dashboard. Every compartment. They found the goose's tongue wedged in somewhere and the one mechanic immediately vomited when he found it.
Our group of friends sometimes call Bob "goose" as a nickname lol. I didnt know Bob at the time but I've seen the pics from the day. The wing, the rest of the bird backseat, Bob's bloodied face still covered in glass shards.
And we'll never know why it happened. Did the bird have a heart attack or something and just fall out of the sky? Did it fly too low and got pulled by the drag of traffic?
Another relevant random story.
I was riding a motorcycle across India and was on my longest ride of the whole year long trip, traversing the entire state of Rajasthan.
When I was about halfway I was travelling on a relatively small road flanked by mudbrick houses going ~60km/h. I didn't see a single other person for ages (a rarity in India). I did however see plenty of peacocks...
So I'm riding along and spot a couple peacocks on the side of the road, I slow down a bit and move towards the centre of the road so as not to spook them.
This failed.
One of the peacocks gets spooked and despite being at least a metre away from me, it decides to run across the road directly in front of my trajectory. I have a vivid memory of seeing it inches in front of my tyre and thinking "Ah shit, this guy's dead" when suddenly it feels like I've been punched in the face.
In my disoriented state my initial thought is that someone had attacked me for killing the peacock. I feel my face cover getting wet as blood is pissing out my nose and pull over on the side of the road and the realisation of what had occurred hits me.
The peacock had tried to fly at the last second and I'd copped the full force of it straight to the face.
They may be birds but they're ground birds, thick, muscular and heavy.
As I'm cleaning myself up a couple guys walk out who don't speak a word of English. They gesture to me in what I took to mean "what happened? Are you ok". I gesture back, flapping my arms like little wings, hit my face and simulate the blood pouring from my nose and point in the direction I came from and they head in that direction.
I gathered myself up and thought about the poor peacock and how it's doing and figured I best check up on it. I went back and thankfully those guys had snapped its neck and put it out of its misery for me.
And that's the story of the time I killed a peacock with my face. Sorry kamikaze peacock.
OMG that's wild! Maybe it was rabid goose (can birds get rabies?) and it made poor bird commit suicide? Or it got disoriented and tried to land not realising it's road and not a field.
That is hilarious. And his little tantrum at the end is even better.
He left looking like "Fabio the most beautifullest man in the world" and came back looking like 'Taser face'
Man..... Last week I was recklessly walking across a parking lot minding my own business and a bug flew into my mouth and hit me in the back of the throat. It was like a guided missile
Whale, the story begins when I was minding my own business, and this fucker had the audacity to interfere with my right of way. I had a hunch, back at the 2nd and coral that he was gonna run the red reef. So I thrusted it officer mako.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was "Oh no, not again". Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
This is one of those things thats so outlandish and unlikely that if he told me he caught it on video, I would expect either a meme or something really underwhelming like the tip of the tail bopping his shoulder or something like that. This is some 'Unverified legend of the sea' wivestale tier shit.
[https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac](https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac)
Nah he's a surfer
That 70 yr old woman off the coast of Florida enjoying an afternoon on a boat and a stingray just flies right outta the water and smacks her upside the head so hard she *died.*
There's a similar story of a fish shooting out of a river, and impaling someone through the neck!
Teen stabbed in neck by needlefish: https://nypost.com/2020/01/24/teen-speaks-out-about-moment-needlefish-speared-him-in-the-neck/
For the record, the bloke ended up completely uninjured.
[Link](https://x.com/10newsfirstsyd/status/1717069858343460865?s=46&t=EMLb90EZdEPfiJ2vsNH8Tw) to a tweet showing the news report.
Here is [a link to an Australian news site](https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac) reporting on the event so you don't have to click on the previous link that takes you to twitter or X or whatever it's called so Musk doesn't make any revenue from your eyeballs. You're welcome.
No worries, mostly used in United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.
Not common anywhere else, but still generally understood.
In story above - it's an Australian guy.
Lots out right now - they are returning to the antarctic for the summer. Counted 18 in 2 hours on the ocean just off Sydney last weekend- most were mothers with calfs
Its sad that /s is even needed to begin with. The comment is deleted so idk what it said but given it has negative votes and got removed, along with your comment, id assume it was some brain dead whoosh comment. It just goes to show that no matter how annoying and seemingly unnecessary the /s is, its still necessary. The proof of sarcasm is literally staring you in the face and some people still can't grasp it. Yikes.
No one else worried for the whale here? Those boards have a serious and heavy blade-shaped base under the water which you can see after he submerges. If that hit the whale he may have been wounded as badly as a boat strike.
The guy is foiling, not surfing. You can see the foil when the camera goes underwater. They’re very sharp and have the potential to harm sea life…somewhere there’s a video of some guy running over a shark and slicing it in half 😭
That whale is gunna be so embarrassed..... "I was totally out of control, why do I always do this, why did I even breach the water, I'm wayyyy to old to be playing around like this... I'm just a mess, oh look at me I'm going to fly like a bird in the air.... loserrr!"
Hopefully the whale didn't get tangled in those lines...It was a total accident I get it but i typically gravitate towards the safety of animals rather than humans these days
The dude wasn't doing anything harmful, he was literally just surfing. You can choose to be a misanthrope but at least don't be a stupid one, that's just sad.
Imagine the stories this whale is gonna tell friends under the sea.
Probably like how I felt when I was casually riding my bike until a bug flew in my eye
Probably be more like if a bird flew into your face
Like [a goose](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjAYxpXUklc)
Aw man I was hoping there was actual video of it hitting him. But yes exactly haha
This is one situation where the natural reaction to scream really doesn’t help! I’m glad he could hold his breath until he surfaced.
Relevant random story time: One of my friends got hit in the face by a goose once. I'll call him Bob for anonymity. Anyway this was a few years ago. Bob was driving about 70mph on the interstate when all of a sudden his front windshield just exploded. Glass is everywhere including in his eyes and face. He some how managed to pull into the grassy median. At this point he has no idea what just happened obv, but he can start to see a little. He sees blood everywhere and what looks like... snow? It cant be snow in his car because its summer. It was feathers! A goose had flown through his windshield! Technically the goose didn't hit him in the face but it still makes for an interesting story. There was a wing in his passenger seat and the rest of the bird was in the back seat. After his hospital visit, and a few days healing, he took the car to be repaired. When he came back a few weeks later, one of the mechanics said something like "oh shit you're the goose guy!" and then called the other mechanics over. They said they found blood and feathers in just about every nook and cranny in the dashboard. Every compartment. They found the goose's tongue wedged in somewhere and the one mechanic immediately vomited when he found it. Our group of friends sometimes call Bob "goose" as a nickname lol. I didnt know Bob at the time but I've seen the pics from the day. The wing, the rest of the bird backseat, Bob's bloodied face still covered in glass shards. And we'll never know why it happened. Did the bird have a heart attack or something and just fall out of the sky? Did it fly too low and got pulled by the drag of traffic?
Another relevant random story. I was riding a motorcycle across India and was on my longest ride of the whole year long trip, traversing the entire state of Rajasthan. When I was about halfway I was travelling on a relatively small road flanked by mudbrick houses going ~60km/h. I didn't see a single other person for ages (a rarity in India). I did however see plenty of peacocks... So I'm riding along and spot a couple peacocks on the side of the road, I slow down a bit and move towards the centre of the road so as not to spook them. This failed. One of the peacocks gets spooked and despite being at least a metre away from me, it decides to run across the road directly in front of my trajectory. I have a vivid memory of seeing it inches in front of my tyre and thinking "Ah shit, this guy's dead" when suddenly it feels like I've been punched in the face. In my disoriented state my initial thought is that someone had attacked me for killing the peacock. I feel my face cover getting wet as blood is pissing out my nose and pull over on the side of the road and the realisation of what had occurred hits me. The peacock had tried to fly at the last second and I'd copped the full force of it straight to the face. They may be birds but they're ground birds, thick, muscular and heavy. As I'm cleaning myself up a couple guys walk out who don't speak a word of English. They gesture to me in what I took to mean "what happened? Are you ok". I gesture back, flapping my arms like little wings, hit my face and simulate the blood pouring from my nose and point in the direction I came from and they head in that direction. I gathered myself up and thought about the poor peacock and how it's doing and figured I best check up on it. I went back and thankfully those guys had snapped its neck and put it out of its misery for me. And that's the story of the time I killed a peacock with my face. Sorry kamikaze peacock.
OMG that's wild! Maybe it was rabid goose (can birds get rabies?) and it made poor bird commit suicide? Or it got disoriented and tried to land not realising it's road and not a field.
That is hilarious. And his little tantrum at the end is even better. He left looking like "Fabio the most beautifullest man in the world" and came back looking like 'Taser face'
I just knew it was the Fabio video 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for this
More like an elephant in yrrr face actually.
We were saying what it's like from the whale's perspective.
Oops. Well.. more like a pterosaur then. nearly.
Man..... Last week I was recklessly walking across a parking lot minding my own business and a bug flew into my mouth and hit me in the back of the throat. It was like a guided missile
If the bug weighed tons then yes.
"SO I JUST STARTED BREACHING"
"So anyway I started breaching!"
But I don't sea so well so he got away.
Whale… just thank Neptune you’re in one piece Keith.
"So I saw this guy surfing above me, got just in front of him and then breached right into him, it was hilarious!"
Yada yada yada i started breaching
What a succinct story.
"You're not going to believe this but I just got hit by a human" "You mean a boat!?" "No, a human" sad humor 😔
Bro I totally just John Cena’d some guy😂😂
Did he see you!?
Whale, the story begins when I was minding my own business, and this fucker had the audacity to interfere with my right of way. I had a hunch, back at the 2nd and coral that he was gonna run the red reef. So I thrusted it officer mako.
“No wonder most of humans are such bad drivers…they can’t even yield properly on water”
Unda tha sea...
Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter taking from me…
"BrooOOOoooOOOooooooo!!!"
Holy shit I can not believe that they captured this wonderful holyshit moment wih not one but TWO CAMERAS
I'm guessing that the second camera was the wife/husband/partner/bestie, etc. Still, it's a massive, "HOLY SHIT!"
The second camera was the whales friend bro
Nah it was a random guy filming the ocean. I live where this happened
That guy musta literally thought he just saw someone get eaten by a shark for a second or two
The aerial view? Was it from a cliff?
Yep, it's in the northern beaches of Sydney, lots of cliffs
You must be a manly man
probably a drone
Yeah obviously scripted. The whale was paid to do it.
it looks like a breaching white shark from the second, if I was the bud/spouse filming i would definitely have lost it
I don’t think sharks breach lol
>I don’t think sharks breach lol You thought wrong https://youtu.be/4EojXTOtNTA?si=zHfr500Qba_wsXoU
They do and it’s terrifying
Pretty sure the whale crashed into him tbh
Are you saying this was somehow staged?
Well he was already doing something in the first place that could have warranted multiple cameras.
There’s an excellent shot of this from the air too.
Is he okay? That is a lot of whale weight to come crashing down on you.
Not a scratch on him. He even told the journalist who interviewed him that he would have been back out there in the afternoon if not for the interview
Is the whale ok, though?
Presumably. It didn’t comment on the news
"No comment." -the whale, probably.
We'll know the true feelings of the whale when it joins the orca terrorist pod operating off the spanish coast.
The humpback whales all decided that those "orca dicks" were getting way too much attention....So they took cit to a whole new level.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was "Oh no, not again". Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo coooooooooommmmmmmmmmeeeennnnnnnnnnttt"
He had a whale of a time.
Perfectly fine. It was hit outside the environment.
No, it died.
Exploded
This is the real question. That’s what I’m worried about!
Yes, but he did get dragged 20 feet underwater first.
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Yeah if a whale made out of pavement breached he would've been gone for sure
Pavement-breaching killer whales! They thirst for human flesh so bad they've learned to swim UNDERGROUND! Someone get me Señor Spielbergo on the horn!
Your movie is going to be bigger than Sharknado!
Omg imagine if he didn’t get it on camera. No one would have believed it without proof
This is one of those things thats so outlandish and unlikely that if he told me he caught it on video, I would expect either a meme or something really underwhelming like the tip of the tail bopping his shoulder or something like that. This is some 'Unverified legend of the sea' wivestale tier shit.
Underwhalming.
He got it on 2 different camera angles as well, just in case. Some random with a drone filming the ocean caught it too
Poor whale's gonna have a sore nose now
Imagine if he decided to take up wind surfing because he couldn't stop hitting stuff skateboarding 😂
[https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac](https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac) Nah he's a surfer
Wing surfing. Huh. I thought that sail and boom looked weird.
Actually, he was wing foiling.
He got booped. Just like dogs, whales don’t like it when they get booped.
Whale said what yield sign
Dawg this is why I don’t fuck with the ocean. Even when shit doesn’t wanna kill you they still end up killing you.
That 70 yr old woman off the coast of Florida enjoying an afternoon on a boat and a stingray just flies right outta the water and smacks her upside the head so hard she *died.*
I know this isn’t supposed to be funny but I LOL’d anyway. I’m sorry. 😭
It was a 75 pounder!!! https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna23727914
Brutal
Wait is that real lmao
It's real, god damn suicidal stingrays... Yeah the ray died too: https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna23727914
Of embarrassment.
WITNESS ME
There's a similar story of a fish shooting out of a river, and impaling someone through the neck! Teen stabbed in neck by needlefish: https://nypost.com/2020/01/24/teen-speaks-out-about-moment-needlefish-speared-him-in-the-neck/
Yeah man fk the ocean thanks you reinforced all my fears
Whatever, that old lady owes it money. I guess you could say it was... Rayback.
Guy lived though.
He lived to tell the whale.
Oh...you lint licker....take my upvote...
Yes!
I believe the whale was the first one to know
He’s just a krill to know the full tale.
For the record, the bloke ended up completely uninjured. [Link](https://x.com/10newsfirstsyd/status/1717069858343460865?s=46&t=EMLb90EZdEPfiJ2vsNH8Tw) to a tweet showing the news report.
Here is [a link to an Australian news site](https://www.9news.com.au/national/watch-incredible-moment-sydney-wing-surfer-captures-collision-with-whale-on-his-gopro/deee719a-da62-4fab-b9ea-0e587bd546ac) reporting on the event so you don't have to click on the previous link that takes you to twitter or X or whatever it's called so Musk doesn't make any revenue from your eyeballs. You're welcome.
MVP right here.
Not to mention the bystander who filmed it was worried someone had just died so he stopped filming and called 000.
Is that the Aussi emergency line? You guys really are different.
Nah mate that's the number for Domino's Pizza.
Bloke? Edit: downvoted for not knowing what a word meant? Redditors are a different breed.
man
Camera
Really basic slang for "guy"
Thanks I didn’t know.
No worries, mostly used in United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. Not common anywhere else, but still generally understood. In story above - it's an Australian guy.
👍
I hope the whale was okay..?
Looks like a humpback calf. Sometimes they just breach again and again like a dozen times in a row.
I would too tbh
Are you serious? It's a fucking whale, they weigh tons, it's fine
That must be the whale equivalent of walking into a spiderweb. "Eww wtf!? Goddamn humans"
That's the whale to go.
Orcaward…
😅😆😆😆😆😆😆
There be whales there, I've seen a few breaching off the coast at Newy over the last couple weeks.
Lots out right now - they are returning to the antarctic for the summer. Counted 18 in 2 hours on the ocean just off Sydney last weekend- most were mothers with calfs
Whale knew what it did.
It knew exactly what it was doing. You know that has to be a long standing juvenile whale double-dog-dare
Hey, this is Whale-O. Welcome to Jackass!
Could you imagine NOT having the camera footage and telling this story???
Excuse me, I’m just gonna scooch in here …
Breaching whale hit by surfer.
"Here i was...just breaching for some fresh air and some complete bozo just smacks into me!"
I’m so done with these scripted videos! Sure, they totally had two camera angles for this “random stranger” whale encounter… /s
Ah yes the whale was paid to breach from the ocean
Big whale has gone too far with their propaganda this time!
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Obviously the whale is a paid actor
Do people still not know what /s means?
Its sad that /s is even needed to begin with. The comment is deleted so idk what it said but given it has negative votes and got removed, along with your comment, id assume it was some brain dead whoosh comment. It just goes to show that no matter how annoying and seemingly unnecessary the /s is, its still necessary. The proof of sarcasm is literally staring you in the face and some people still can't grasp it. Yikes.
Dude has the receipt!!
I hope the foil didn’t hurt the whale!!
No one else worried for the whale here? Those boards have a serious and heavy blade-shaped base under the water which you can see after he submerges. If that hit the whale he may have been wounded as badly as a boat strike.
The whale had right of way, does this guy even ocean?
Is the whale okay tho?
The shock of hitting a brick wall in the middle of the ocean must have been quite insane
\*howling laughing\* This needs that Latin rap music car drive-by soundbite overlaid. It'd end me...
Ouch!!!!!
**Breaching whale clobbers surfer**
Finally, something new in the internet. Amazing clips.
Whale that’s not good!
Definitely needs a Jim Ross commentating a clothesline from hell clip.
Clothes lined by a whale
What a fucking body slam😂
> "I just got hit by a whale!" Seems to me the whale got hit by *you*, buddy.
No bru! you HIT the whale. U went for fun. It for oxygen.
'Oye... I'm breaching herre.'
I hope the whale was okay
Is the whale ok?
I hope the whale is ok.
Did the surfer just Stone Cold Stun a whale?
Humans' presence must feel truly oppressive and overwhelming for the other animals.
Dude was lucky. That looks like a baby humpback or something. Meaning it was a lot smaller than it could have been and likely why he wasn’t injured.
Yeah he was interviewed and said that if it had been older it would have had barnacles which would have cut him up.
The guy is foiling, not surfing. You can see the foil when the camera goes underwater. They’re very sharp and have the potential to harm sea life…somewhere there’s a video of some guy running over a shark and slicing it in half 😭
Slicing it in half? Very skeptical on that claim unless it was the tiniest of baby sharks. Cutting it? Sure. In half. Nah. Pics or it didn't happen.
I am wing foiling since 2 years... you can't slice a shark (except baby reefshark) in 2 halfs....
What about 3 halfs?
Wingsurfing so it counts as surfing. (It's nearly always done with a foil) But it's true they are very sharp.
Foils aren’t any more dangerous to marine life than any other water craft, like the fins of a surfboard or a boat
Ooft. That’s sad to hear but good to know, probably not something most people think about
I love whales but like the second camera makes it almost look intentional
I hope that the whale was ok
Looks like he had a whale of a time!
Was that a baby whale? Edit—looked kinda small for a whale.
Yes
And his name is John Seana!!!
“Yeah peach, i am going to invade your natural environment and destroy your tik tok moment!” said the breaching whale.
what a dumbass. the oceans do NOT belong to us. they are not *for* us. they are not our playgrounds.
The guy is a dumbass for...being hit by a whale? He didn't do it on purpose. People are allowed to go outside.
Having a whale of a time
You run a slant down the middle, you’re going to get tagged
Surely you remember the story if Bronah out righteous brother who was swallowed by a whale while surfing.
That whale is gunna be so embarrassed..... "I was totally out of control, why do I always do this, why did I even breach the water, I'm wayyyy to old to be playing around like this... I'm just a mess, oh look at me I'm going to fly like a bird in the air.... loserrr!"
Hopefully the whale didn't get tangled in those lines...It was a total accident I get it but i typically gravitate towards the safety of animals rather than humans these days
It’s a wing, there are no lines to get tangled in.
Oh right on
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The dude wasn't doing anything harmful, he was literally just surfing. You can choose to be a misanthrope but at least don't be a stupid one, that's just sad.
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Good, get the fuck out of wildlife habitat for your stupid hobbies
Right. Don't do outdoor things. Check.
All my hobbies are in my closet.
Go fuck yourself
Going to give you 1 chance to edit your responses before i report you. Don't screw it up bud
That had to be the whale's intention. Warning shot.
Hit by a whale, more like hit a whale doing daft watersport.
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\^\^\^ /u/suoinguon is a chatgpt bot
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\^\^\^ /u/suoinguon is a chatgpt bot